The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jay's House Party

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Jay and Christine host a little party for opening day of the NFL season. Comic Keith Robinson is invited and arrives in an Uber that has extra amenities. Jay goes to Philadelphia to bring an abundance of sandwiches back to the party. | Bobby tries to expand his musical taste but is still in love with Yungblud. | Josh Adam Meyers is spotted hanging out with two rappers gone country; Post Malone and Jelly Roll. | Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer have a dance battle. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Ah, good to see you, man. It's good to be back. What's up, everybody? It's the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and me, Robert Kelly. What's up, pal? How are you? I can't. Can you hear him? I can't hear him. No, check your mic, man. No, no, no, no. Stop. I can hear No No that's good That's good

We're gonna fix your mic What's up buddy Okay What's happened Jacob You can hear me I can hear you fine Christine

Talking to you mic Oh I can't hear her I can barely hear her Let me hear Hello Oh there you are Jay what's up buddy We got

I can't hear you bro I can't hear him No This is nuts Well you look good I got a gift for you yeah can we fix this

can we call somebody this is bad y'all lower this is bad this is terrible this is terrible there was a sinkhole on the sawmill today

hey guys you guys coming in from the going home up to Westchester coming down to the city from Westchester watch yourself Lawrence Road

there was apparent a sinkhole over by the Starbucks GNC Chipotle. The road is shut down both ways. You're not getting up or down south or north. So make sure you take the detour over to Yonkers or go over to, you know, 87, come down to the city that way. It was a hell show over there today. People trying to get in and out and trying to find a way around it. And I'm lucky to be here. You know what I'm saying?

I'm lucky to be here. But I always look at the Google Maps before I come in and check it out. Jay, have you, what, is he? This is crazy. It's not just you. It's not just me. Lewis, you can hear him? I can't hear it.

What are you saying? Wow, this is crazy. This is nuts. Check, check, check. Check, check. Jay, I can just speak into your microphone, Jay. Check, check. Oh, there you go.

Oh, we can hear. Is it working? It's working now, dude. What the fuck, bro. This place is a shithole. It is a shit. It is a goddamn cesspool shithole. It is a shithole.

Finally. How many minutes is that? If the fucking mic not working. Five minutes. Five minutes? I had to do traffic on the fives. I did you traffic on the fives. You know what?

Yeah. Good thing because there's a sinkhole on the sawmill and we've saved a lot of people. Is there a sinkhole? Sync hole on the sawmill. Son of a bitch. Not a sinkhole. Florida sinkhole that. Christine went, sinkhole.

Oh my God. Not that. Don't look at me that way. She panicked, like the fucking earth fell through. What is that even? It was a New York sinkhole. You know, the road just fucking washed away. That type of thing.

Not like, you know, a whole building went into the earth and there's another realm right now. But, yeah, the whole sawmill and a little chunk of it is north and south, wiped out. So that sucks for me because now I have to go home another route. I have to find another route. What's your route? My route is 687 or 87. over through Yonkers, or I can go up old 3A if it's late enough, the original 3A, which is what they used back in the day.

The reason why I moved to Westchester, and I told you not to move to Jersey. Tunnels. T tunnels. Bridges and tunnels, right? I have 75 different ways to get back to Westchester. Except the best ones washed away, as you described. You know what? You make a valid point, and that's why I love about you, Sherlock Holmes.

the best way. I'm reading clues around the room altogether. I noticed Black Lou are you not wearing a Cowboys jersey today to rep your team? No, I'm still heartbroken

over the loss of Michael Parsons. Wow, it's got to be soul-crushing. Well, for everybody else that is happy, Lou, if you wouldn't mind. A new one. The day guy? Yes. What did I say?

This song's dead now Why would you play that song? That's not the song I thought maybe there was a new hype video I didn't know about No, there is But you were very aware of it Ever since you stopped drinking

He got corny There we go Give it to me One, a one A one, two, three Christine hit it Oh boy Well

What are you gonna do? We're fine on all cylinders today We were We were We were It should be illegal. So I say, go birds and fly. Eagles fly.

Cool, like an eagle. Oh. And no romance can start. Tonight Tonight Jacob Where were you on that? Yeah, Jacob

What's up with you do? I'm getting sick You're not being part of the team You weren't a part of the team there? Let's run it back one more time for Steve's you and mine And just Jacob Hi

Hi As far as you can't as you can't go Divante Smith As my heart and a romance can start Tonight I think I might become an Angles fan because of that song. Maybe the greatest hype song for any team ever. Oh, my God.

I went there once. Hi. It'd be great if they had him open up the Eagles game. They might as well. They got five of them on the sidelines with the cheerleaders now. Christ Almighty. What's happening? I know.

I was watching some of the... I watched MTV Awards last night for the show. Why do I have an echo of you? I have an echo. Not that I mind it. I don't mind hearing you twice. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. And your head, head.

I don't hear it. Really? What? Oh, oh, oh. You don't hear it? He heard it, heard it, hurt it, hurt it. You're mentally ill. No, ill.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Watch the VMAs for you. And you have a new,

and you have a newfound respect for young blood oh come on buddy he's a rock star they're making him into the next he's a rock star he's a rock star he's not my thing

he has every everything that you want in a rock star he has the body the lips I'm seeing the I'm seeing the young hairless bitch in him though

is unfortunate what I'm seeing every rock star is a young hairless bitch right right and it would just look cool when you were young and hairless and you didn't know if you were going to get to become a young hairless bitch. And we weren't. And we weren't out of young hairless bitches. Never. God, did I actually,

I really, I don't know if you ever had, you might have never had this. I wanted to be pretty. Buddy, I thought I had this in me at some point. Oh, I never did. What do you laugh at? I knew, I did not. Fuck you. He just did the move he was doing as you said you had that in you.

I knew for a fact that this was not in me at all. Here's the problem with him is that he's starting to believe. Yep. Too early. Well, he was in line. going in and he ripped his jacket off and did a lot of rock stances, which I did not like. No,

he's definitely a cornball. He's a rock star, dude. I mean, look at that. I mean, this Ozzy tribute and then Stephen Tyler came out and it was fucking epic. I didn't think it was. Really? No, I thought the Aussie tribute was kind of cornball. I'm also, I mean,

they just did most of his ballads, which is awful. I mean, dude, they did almost exclusively as ballads. Yeah, but you've got to do the hits. These kids don't know what the fuck it is. You can't go deep tracks on these fucking 20-year-olds. You could have went some Sabbath or something.

Sabbath with these people. It's mostly hip-hop. What is a Youngblood song? A cover of what is it? I'm going through changes. His voice is not. He sounds good.

And his hair. He doesn't sound great. He does hit a note at some point that's pretty good. Let me hear it. From what I remember. I don't think it's this song I think he sounds great

For rock and roll You want to pop this guy's wang in your mouth I wouldn't You know why? Because I know it's uncircised And I'm not into that Oh man But you know it's smooth It's all hairless too

No it's English dude It's like a lech I don't like it like one of those Breakfast sausages So he doesn't have Songs of his own? Yeah he does His own he just dropped

He covers crazy train He's in the background of that one MGK song that Bobby loves loves too much for an adult man he's got a he's got an almy just dropped i don't know any of the songs like that because i don't retain that information uh but he it's it's all right it's pretty good it's rock and roll it looks like you're in love with a boy i'm in love with kelly clarkson first true that and then a boy second i can't argue that i don't love his look but not like his music bobby his music's all right his song he just came out with his album was all right i mean it's you like

his look. I love his whole thing. You love his thing. I like, I mean, he's a cross between Axel Rose, Mick Jagger, Ozzy. Without the songs. Those lips, dude? Did you see those lips? But no singing. Any song anyone knows. Wait a second now. I mean, he's got a... All of those people.

Mushed together. San's musical talent. Okay. He does, honestly God, he's very high fashion with the shirt off. Let's throw an Iggy pop in there while we're at it. Hey, let's throw them all. I mean, throw them all. hear this this is a this is you know what this is this is going to be yeah in this song he did you said it sucked it's it's a good song no the song in general blows no i think this osse version also

i think this song is good i like this osi song you like the softer side of badass i like yeah i do i like the other side of it i like back in the uh in the uh tour bus late at night cruising down the highway i don't like ballads like if you consider would you consider fade to black a ballad it's not it's like an epic thing yeah it's a little bit ballad it's a little bit but it's like like that I like here's why I like it's a lights in white satin a hyper emotional thing it takes you on a whole bunch of feelings just hearing Ozzy Osbourne cry no microphone for three minutes bored the shit out of me yeah but you're you're like I'm a music fan you're a super music fan like when I'm in the car with you you're throwing in songs that are like

I'm like, holy shit, how do you know that? I'll tell you, my goal with you in the car is always for you to go. Because I know you like music. I do. But I know you don't, you're not all over the place when you're hunting. No. When you're putting on music, you put on what you know, what you've listened to last week, but you're listening to next week.

And I try to zip in there and go, what's some songs Bobby's going to be like, oh, fuck, I forgot this song rules. Yeah. That's my goal for our car rides. And you achieve your goal every single time. Thank you. Because I know the songs. A lot of times I didn't know it was that person

or that they had that song and that song. I knew this song. I didn't know they did that song. And that's why I love being in the car. Sometimes I could be good at telling you what you thought was the one hit wonders, other hit. We did that. We did that on the way down to Philly.

We were doing one hit wonders, but the other hit. The other one. Which was fantastic. But the reason why I like this guy, and I talked about this on the car ride down to Philly, I think it was on the way back. Christine, I heard that, and I still hear it. You're going to hear the whole travel of it.

Okay. Just the fluid goes from head to bladder. I mean, I heard it go through her lungs. You can follow it. I heard a ting. Did you swallow a piece of jewelry? Water. I, uh,

blip, bloop, bloop. Hors is like this. Yeah On account of a big flappy pussy? No Oh Not fwappy But

On account of Christine's big flappy ass pussy I would say no On the account of a mature vagina Oh I think it's not as young as it used to be This is a young vagina This is

There's nothing in the way This is Christine's vagina This is This is Don't That's Don vagina and then hello hello hello well now you hear the drip and he goes like cave like cave dripping cave puss i'll tell you why i like this is because we talked about this

who is there any rock and roll coming out is there are they doing like any all these shows he's not going to make rock and roll he's going to make m gk music i don't think so i think they're what he did at the Aussie thing they realized oh shit you're not this little m gk guy you're not this punk pop bullshit you are going to take over rock and roll mantle i bet they put him his next album is going to be rock and roll they need to put him with a band a guitar player a randy roads they need to put him with a drummer you know people that can get behind him and have a band so it's not just young blood it's a whole group and i bet his next album is going to be rock and roll and he'll bring back rock and roll and the other night he bring he had brought rock and roll

to an award show which never happens unless metallic is coming into town it really is over you're putting the card before the horse here this guy you can't name me a single young blood song he also does you're listening you like the look of him but you don't like this he does a cover if i was made for loving you and he does a cover of zombie i saw on his list over there i think that what i'm saying is is that I think that they figured out where he's going to go. They didn't know what he's going to do. What? A management team is going to direct him?

That's not rock and roll. No, it's not the management team. I think I'm going to help him. Okay. I look the sound of this. I feel like I'm going to reach out to him and I'm going to say, look, dude, you're going to be the next Axel Rose, Ozzie, Motley, you're going to go. So start covering their songs.

No, that's not it. Look at him with, he comes out with Stephen Tyler and kills it. doesn't, when, oh, when they're doing, uh... Yeah, listen to this, listen to this. Stephen Tyler's by his side. Jesus Christ. Sounds good. You could fit two giant titties in their mouths.

I mean... If those guys went, jaws wide open, you could fit a d tit in each mouth. He's definitely got the attitude to be out there and... But not the songs. Not yet. How can you do it in reverse? You have to start with that. Listen to me.

I have to get to him first, and now we're going to get. You understand what I'm saying? When I get to him, don't worry about the songs. I have the songs. All right. Listen to that. If I got to watch fucking jelly roll on Post Malone bow to each other any more times,

like I bow to you because why are you bowing to each other at all? How do they get to switch looks and like cultures? How is Post Malone have an accent now like he's on fucking, Yellowstone. How do you get to do that? That's what I said is Roast. Reformed Wigger always goes the root of country.

He was backstage. What other art form can I basically just talk to music? Country? He was backstage at WWE and he ran into John Sina.

And it made me happy because John Sina didn't give a fuck. And he was totally looked like he worked on Yellowstone. He walked back. He had the hat. He's like, hey, man how you doing like country post malone post malone i know post malone's just like a country guy now i don't

yeah but he's he's he's dressing like it all the time and he's talking like it a little bit yeah yeah like he's converting i think he's converting back i think he is like a southern dude and then he was like i'm gonna become like a hip-hop guy the grift was in there somewhere i think jelly stone what's his name? Jelly roll. Jelly roll. He's my friend. All right, relax.

His name is jelly roll, and we're tight. You are tight. On one degree of Kevin Bacon at all times is Josh Edomier's his gum on his shoe. You're not as tight as Josh and jelly roll, but you're there. No, but Josh is in his pocket. Josh is in a lot of people's pockets. He lives in his pocket. No, I mean, he lives in there in one of his vest pockets.

Just add water and have Josh. Yeah. They have to hydrate Josh out of his pocket. These guys are bowing to each other a bunch. Josh was in that cup. Josh, he's right in that little cup right now, that red cup. You're allowed to be so fucking simple in music. That is the beauty of it.

Like the stress of comedy is you do have to be kind of unique. You've got to try to find some originality in somewhere or something that just wasn't said exactly that way before your take. This is a song right here that I promise. And they'll tell you this too, I'm sure. It was written in seven seconds. And it's just like, it's such an obvious. like hey how do we band everybody together

the song just called this is for the losers and so everyone's supposed to be like we're all just misfits and it's such like a cheese dick fucking thing you fucking love it you love it I'll tell you why

you have a simple brain that's why you're an asshole I don't like it I don't like it I do not like this song I'm sorry I said about your brain then I jump the gun Bobby your brain is complicated and unique Hang on. Blow out your...

Blow out your anxiety whistle. Bobby? Bobby. I jumped the gun. No, Bobby. Stop. Breathe normal. Bobby.

Bobby. I jumped the gun and I was... I didn't like what I just said right there. Bobby. Bobby. Bobby. No, I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry.

Thank God for Japanese distress whistles. Because I was about to jump over this table. and insert my mini blade that I bought you into you. Deserved. The way I came at you without even fully hearing

what you were going to say. But I know, I think now I do have to admit also, I think you're going to change your answer based on what I've said. I don't like this song. I don't like the song, but I know when you,

you're exactly right. When you go, it's like, oh shit, that part of you that feels like you're a piece of shit and nobody understand you. Right. And the fact that they're trying to relate, like, their losers is fucking infuriating to me.

We're all just losers. Now, if you don't mind, my private helicopter is going to take me off stage to my private plane in the air. But first, I have to have my Gungadim guy shoot me with Mangerino in my stomach because I don't like needles. Had you here last night, Post-Mil and Jelly Roll did the song Losers from Jet Packs over the audience. This goes to the Losers. Jelly Roll had four jet packs. but the thing is Oh yeah

Those guys have $75 million worth of teeth between them They're so wildly successful Yeah I mean it's crazy that And they're in a stadium and fireworks Losers don't get fireworks Here's the best part

Josh is there One million percent I can't believe By the way I was hoping so much There's this one for the losers You see Josh just dancing back Hey oh no I mean It ain't talking about me

But they are this is 100% This one goes to Josh Oh they wrote this song In the back of the bus because he was there Yeah God that guy's such a loser He's such a but you know

Sometimes you gotta do one for the losers This one's for the losers Get my guitar Get my turntables and auto-tuned Oh look at this Look at this Oh fucking skedetto Skiddle Skiddle skin bam scuba-dab

Please for the love of God Let this last forever. It's already, it's extended again. I think now he's staying through the rest of September. I want jelly roll to tour for 13 years. No, I'll miss my Josh. No, you won't. I need him for the fest.

I need my Joshua. No, he has to come back for the fest because he has to save the fest. I go back. I have no fun stories without Josh. He has to save. Everything goes off without a hitch. He has to save the fest. You remember they said that?

That year, he comes in, of course. I'm here. I saved the fest. Yeah. Josh is the human hitch. He does. God damn it. Let me tell you something.

Do you have that clip of him at UFC? I'm just doing my best. Because I'm a loser. You know, I helped him out with some of the lyrics, I helped a little bit. I think I said some stuff when they took it. Me and Dean Del Rey helped him with the tongue. Buddy.

It's so fun. I really I mean what is it what do you do how much less do we have to talk about there's no Josh buddy he's the best you're absolutely right once you get past it's like you might have to reprimand them five six times a year it's like sardines once you get past the it's a little baby fish yeah you're like mm-hmm it's not bad yeah it's like Josh you just got to pay attention to taste not the texture no once you get past Josh's a first little taste and then you get past it he is there's going to be a story he's going to do something He's going to have to apologize.

He will apologize. Yes. This infuriated me, though. When I was, because I'm a big W.W.E. fan. So if you're, the post mode has tin teeth? I don't know what the fuck they look. It's a crazy color of tooth. It's all gold.

I guess. It doesn't read gold from far away. Because he probably doesn't brush them. It's got to suck to not brush your gold teeth either. Yeah, it turns into the Statue of Liberty. It's just green. Jelly roll looks like he's got fucking diamond veneers. Here's the thing that bug me about this

is that I'm such a big fan of this and to be front row or to get that type of access. Josh has no idea who anybody was. But here's the bug me. He was up front and he's perfect. Because he did all this stuff. He cheered big. He acted like he knew any of it.

I'm proud of him. That's a good move. He, as soon as seen him, it came over and here's the thing if seen i had my i had a bottle it was a bottle of uh vitamin water that i was about to throw up my tv if sina hugged him if sina went over to josh i was about to throw my vitamin water mango right at the fucking tv but in this video it's really great he snubs him yeah what's the setup so they're well josh is out with jelly roll and i guess post malone on tour

He will come home calling Post Malone Posty Thousand percent No, he's going to call him Austin Oh he might still call him yes He's a hundred percent going to start calling him Austin He might start calling him Austin That's very very possible That is how he introduced himself to me

So he's Josh going to call him Austin Who was on? Post Malone What? You're making a lot of noises that aren't coming from your mouth So I put your mic down Buddy? It was a reaction Not

It was a reaction and that's all it was. And I caught my reaction. Maybe I overreacted. You overreacted to my reaction. I caught my reaction. All right. Continue with your little treats.

Well, that's, now I'm going to react again. Wow. Nothing like hearing a couple of sober fruits fighting. Well, one of us is going to call later and apologize. Anyways. What was I saying before I go? got scolded. Well, I was saying that Josh is going to call him Austin. Yeah, what is the Austin?

Is that his name? It's postponed his name. That's his real name, Austin? Yeah. I didn't know that. His friends call him that. His friends call him that. Well, is his name Austin, or they just call, is that a freaky little weird thing? No, it's from there. Well, you never know what these... I don't think he's from Dallas. These queens, you know what I mean?

It said he was born in Syracuse and then moved to Dallas because his father handled the concessions for the Dallas Cowboys. So it sounds like he came from money. His real name is Austin. Malone. I don't think it's Malone either. It might not be Malone.

Oh, Jesus Christ. You were hoping it was all his real name? Well, I don't know, dude. I don't want to be... Post Malone is his name. Now his name is Austin Sullivan?

It's Austin Post. Austin Post. It's such a better name than Post Malone, right? What's your name? Sing your name. It's not going to pop for hip-hop

which is where he jumped into first. Post Malone is hip-hop, right? Austin Post is country. Maybe he'll change it back. Well, it was, it was hip hop, then it went to auto-tune kind of pop songs, and then it went to, now it's country. Well, he went, then he went fat in Roadhouse. Chubby, yeah, for sure. Chubby, got humiliated, then got skinny, and then went country. Boney-skinny now. Boney-skinny. Total country. Big belt buckles. It must be nice to be, you know, that. Listen, the look works. It works. The problem with these

changing complete styles of everything is that like what do you believe that well here's the thing this is what I respect Josh he's around all these people

all the time and he never changes his look like he has a podcast about music right which is his look yeah that's his look yeah his look is hey man check out this t-shirt

and I love these pants these camo pants that's why I wear most of the time well dare I say everlast did a genre switch Everlast who I think's awesome

Which by the way I think Jelly Rolls awesome But he did one There's actually audio of him saying I'm going to take country over Where he made that choice Like fuck this I'm going country

And I'm going to be the biggest mother He pulled the Trump Yeah It's easy I'm pretty sure we could do it You guys want to start like a rascal flats Like six person country band Yeah

We can Why don't we just turn country Just the show in general The show in general I don't mind that We stop We do like a NASCAR hour Every day with Jacob

And we no more swearing No more porn This song's my shit though What is it Can't swear Jay Hey Oh This song's my stuff

Yeah this song's great I've been fucking hos and popin piddly's Man off here just like a rock Ah I kid Shababababababababab Duba Bhabas Bhabas Ski Baga

Gaba Bobby Skiba da, Bobby Bobby Bobbi Bobby ba jibag Gaka Kaka Yeah

Burns dance song is pretty great too You see me rolling up in this With the red lights Under the car I can see you dreaming about it already

Probably doing it tonight No Probably rolling up to the stand Nice Oh sorry you guys My boy Posty Spent a little time With them in a green room

In Salt Lake once Yeah I'm not a fan of what post malone of this song well no no listen we got here in a car let's hold bobby let's like maybe reserve our opinions hard until uh we find that if we end up working with our friend jane and these guys are all in the green room yeah you better love rock star but i if you don't think i'll assimilate you're out of your mind i'm gonna buy a pair of beats like gold beats yeah yeah i'm just gonna come in they're gonna be plugged into nothing Dude, I'm going to be...

Scuba duba dapper. I think here's what we should do. Here's what we should do, dude. We should come in in like full like Adidas track suits, like hip hop-y shit. Like run DMC? Right. But then we're going to see, we'll see them and we'll see Post Malone. We'll be like, oh, fuck, shit, I forgot now.

And then we'll unzipper the thing and take the rip away the pants. And then we're in full country clothes. We do a real time, in real time genre shift. Yeah, what do they call that? It's called the... Code switching? Code switch. we'll do a live code switch

I mean in real time code switch would be so dope we'd be like yo it's my man post Malone oh shit oh shit I can't but and then he's gonna be like how'd it good to meet y'all and we're gonna be oh shit I'm a zip and then flap what's up buddy? Hey man I didn't see you

god damn is that jelly roll with you? Is that jelly roll out over there I swear god damn Austin where's Josh? Hittn't he would hoot and no oh is that Bert dancing to Post Malone That song's pretty good too, but I really, more than anything, this is the happiest. What is this?

Burke Kreischer makes me so happy in this. It's Burke Chrys for his tour a couple years ago. Oh, yeah, this was good. He does so good. He does so good. I mean, it's far more rhythm than I ever thought. I mean, he kills it. Please put this out again.

It's always so worth it. Any excuse to share this. his facial expressions his titty's jiggling is awesome the best part was like it was like five weeks of training that's how bert works is every day he works really hard at it the girl in the beginning is a choreographer

so great this is great and then just run his dates he is a showman yeah god damn no joke it's crazy he did this where he dances and we'll put it about we'll put it out on socials And there's another one that,

there's no point watching here, but the song makes me laugh so hard. You ever see the one where he just got a, he sends up a drone? And it's a drone just filming him on a rock in the middle of like a lake or something. And it's just going around and it's just different, and he's just dancing in a speedo

while it just says the song's like different words for butt. It's like your dairy air, your tookus, your rump, you're something. No, I didn't see that. I'll bring it up for him and Tom do a dance, a choreograph thing too? I don't think so. It doesn't feel like Tom's.

I think Tom did it. Tom Stee's. I think Tom and him did a whole big thing. Yeah? Yeah. Tom Singer and Berkrecher did a whole thing. Am I making that up? Am I at that point?

If you're making it up, it would make me think that you were like, you want to see them do that together. Is something that's been... Is that a thing? Did I not see that? Christine? I'm looking... I'm sorry, I was looking for the other one, too.

I'm not finding the salt the... Your Rumpier Salt Shaker video. Maybe Jay's making it up? No. And mine is real? Burke Chrysier Speedo. That's what you type in. Oh, yeah, yeah.

God. Oh, Kurt Kreischer's Tom's cigarette dance off. Okay, yeah, so that's the thing I'm talking about. I can do everybody's job in here. You can. Yes, you can. Hey, at the time, running over there, whacking fucking sound effects on DJ Lou when he falls asleep. My man, turning phones on Black Lou's lap.

You're staring at me with a blank look like Jacob? I do this. Hey, Jacob. Hey, Jacob, what's up? Jacob. What? How you doing, buddy? Is that a good Jacob in person? Let me do it again.

All right. Hey, Jacob, good to see you. Monday. Jacob. Jacob. What's up, buddy? How you? You okay? Yeah. You all right? Yeah. Good to see you. Well, oh, Jacob, what's up? What's up with the noise? What? I'm doing the show, but you made a noise. I didn't know. I couldn't tell I made a noise. You couldn't tell you made a noise. You have headphones on?

Jay! Oh! I'm doing the show. I'm trying to... The fuck are you doing, man? You can't just make noise like that. Somebody knows making noise. I'm doing something. You just banged into the microphone, man.

Jake. Jacob. Dude. Where did you just go? Huh? Where... Whoa. Oh, Jake.

Stop. Stop. I'm going. Oh, God. You know what? Fuck. Forget it. Forget it.

I think we got that down. It was pretty good. That was... That was Oscar or ever. The audio of this is good because the song is hilarious. There has to be something in his junk, though. That's not his packer. I think Bert's got a thickie.

That looks too big. Which is him enjoying a bay by himself with a speedo. 100% something in his junk. There's no way. No, dude. Really? Bert's got a solid piece on him. Is that Lake Havasu?

I couldn't guess. where it is. But I love that he just goes for it. That's so funny. I do not have that kind of freeness in myself. I know exactly what that is. You know me and him, Matt Frost and Vinny, his manager,

went there around 20 years ago. We went on an RV trip from Arizona, Flagstaff, to Utah. Yeah, and we went to Lake Havasu and the other lake, Lake Placist. No, Lake, not Placid.

There's another lake up there, too. And we went out to that... It looks like where we went, by the way. And then he went back without you. We rented a small boat, not a big boat, because none of us had money. And we hung out in that right there with life jackets on and just for like all day long and just chilled. Then he cut the dead weight, went back by himself. He cut the dead weight.

You guys wouldn't party in a speedo. Went back. I would. Would you? If he's doing it? Yeah, if you're doing it, yeah. I'm not. Yeah, if fucking Matt Rife was doing it, no. They essentially cut me out of cabin because I believe now in hindsight,

because my difficulty in not wanting to wear a speedo. Oh, they wanted you to wear a speedo? Bert did initially. That was what it was like in the script. That's wild. And then I was like, oh, that's not my deal, dude. Yeah, that's wild that he would think that you would be comfortable like that. Well, it's not crazy.

He's comfortable as shit, so. Yeah, but dude, that's a weird, dude. They always want a chubby guy His shirt off and I hate it I just can't be that Like it just kills me I wish it to Being called fat and all that shit

Doesn't bother me that much But nothing worse than I've ever Said in my own head But like going out there And really being like Fuck it dude Whambrams bouncing around my gut or anything

I'd be like please Please nobody Girls don't look Also guys but mostly girls don't look That's forever though Huh? That's forever Yeah yeah yeah

Like that's Marin When I did Marin they did a whole thing the whole last scene was me taking my shirt off and walking down the road and I was like do we have to take my shirt off

can I just have a wife beater on and they had like a writer's meeting and they're like no the shirt's funnier I'm like it's not it's really not yeah you just want a fat guy taking a shirt off

that's the joke they try to get me in a diaper on Z rock I said no I said no to that and then what was the other one I did have my shirt off in that one commercial I did

and I got sunburned and the commercial never came out which was humiliating also that day. But yeah, no, I can't I can't do it. I turned down, Louie offered me

something and see, the thing I ended up where I'm saying the N-word for the button on Louis. You do that, but not take a shirt up. Piece of shit. Well, the reason he offered me... Core values, bro. He offered me that to get me in the season because he did, he initially wanted me to play.

There was a hurricane or something. And, like, I would come running through the hurricane in underwear and I was like nah no no no why would you do that i didn't yeah i don't like that i don't like getting naked at all well also i said this i'm not saying it's impossible to get me in that situation i have to think the thing is so goddamn funny do you know what i mean like it's still probably what killed chris farley but i mean the chippendale sketch is so fucking funny and it's because he's fat but it's also the way he dances and all this It's so ridiculous.

Such a great sketch. And he's also next to Patrick Swage. Just gorgeous. Right. So I'm saying inside that definitely killed him a lot. But like the way out of that one for sure is like fucking hilarious. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Having him when it got to the thing like in Tommy Boy when he has to like wake up and yell at the maid with his shirt off, I would have just demanded there. I go, no, I sleep with like a tank top or something on anyway. So like, let's leave a tank top on. Yeah, 100%. Like, but I mean, you know, this. is fucking legendary at this point it's legendary but it's so funny what a non-ass he has oh well yeah fat guy's curse and can i be honest with you not as fat as i remember him he got way bigger than this also yeah he did get way bigger but also that is a time change what's considered super i mean he's

really heavy but um yeah not as bad as like what you'd think in your mind and when you look back you're like he was so fat he's i mean he's i think that's me now and you're just used to sing We're seeing more fat people these days. Well, there's Hollywood fat and there's, you know, regular people fat. Like, if the movie Fats, I was one of my favorite movies of all time. If you go look back at that movie, Dom DeLois is not that fat in that movie. I was generally speaking, Dom DeLuze wasn't super new. He got fat at the end of his life.

Best part. He got regular fat. God damn, that was funny. Yeah. But then you have to sit there. And I said the whole bit is like Kevin Neon. and go now normally we're going to go with adrian because of his fantastic physique as opposed to your sloppy roly-poly thing it's funny it is like a whole thing's a funny bit but i mean

damn can i say something though and you have it i don't when you have man hair on your body your chest fat uh doesn't look as bad when you don't have hair on your chest when you have like you have man hair i've seen you topless you have like a man chest Don't call it topless I've seen you topless In life In person and in my dreams And I've drawn you topless

But you have like hair And he does too So there's something mainly about When the guy's fat and he has hair I don't know Maybe it's what's it called bear If you don't want too much You don't want to be like a hairy shoulder

Crazy like that kind of hair person But I only have hair around my nipples It looks weird My tits look like a face eyelashes around your nipple eyes is this tom cigarette dancing yeah yeah let's see this is uh what is this christian

i'll be the judge of this it's a response to bert's dance video okay so that he danced and then he dance so it's probably the same choreographer i'd assume oh it's hilarious i didn't know he did this yeah there's three

choreographed dancer girls judging burts they're making fun of bert's video we just had all Yeah. Stop. Stop. Tom, first of all, Tom Sugara has a jet black beard and a black wig on and he's a ponytail. But he's eating a whole carrot with the green on the end. And he has a kung fu outfit on. I don't really wearing a kung fu outfit. He's wearing a kung fu outfit. He has all kinds of bling on. This is fucking great. I mean, he's doing Team Bert. Wait, no, we're not there yet here we go well that's good move no bobby you're too easily impressed hang on i'm way easy what do you

what do you think i'm friends with you for you think you have a better shot of getting into the into the uh oh that's you think you have a better chance getting in the cigar sphere than you do this crissure sphere i do right but i'm already currently in the crisis sphere so this is just bert put the work in hang on one second though they i think bert put the work in for a smaller amount of I think this is better production. Well, it says that it costs him $250,000 to make this. Yeah, much higher production. He's got Burt.

AI Burt. He got A-I-Burt, and he's like 500 pounds. What does it say in his shirt? Machine. But M-U-H-S-H-E-N, M-H-E-E-N, M-H-E-N-M-H-E-M-H-E-M-H-E-M-H-E. M-H-E-E- should have put Mush-E-E. Oh, he stabsbert, in the gut, over and over. That's way funnier.

He just keeps stabs. too much Tom sorry Bert takes this round I'm saying I'm saying that's what Tom really wants to do to birds crap walking they were both good is that okay for everybody now that's when they were at the podcast studio before it all fell apart did it all fall apart yeah when Bert and Tom became hugely successful and left I want to tell more about the VMAs. Okay, we got the VMAs, but we'll talk about

we had a whole thing happened this weekend at your house. Oh, Thursday, yeah. We'll talk about Thursday when we come back from the break because that was, I mean, what a great time. We'll talk about it now. We can jump back to the VMAs.

Well, here's the thing that you're the guy now. What does it mean? I used to be the house, because I was probably the first one with a house outside the city where okay I'm throwing a barbecue let's go and everybody would come up right I had people mad at me for not inviting them like people would come up to me like you know you not you don't like me I'm not that I don't like you but I had 60 people at the house I just forgot you know what I mean so and then it got to the point where I just couldn't do it anymore

I just you know but I look at your house now you're the guy and not only you the guy your house is perfect for it's the house it's the house of houses I think out of all our friends your house is smoking no no this is your chubby dude from Philly alone

with nobody around yes you know that dude your house your house is it's got it's got the perfect pool but the functionality Here's the thing about your house

The functionality of your house is perfect A lot of people have things Or houses Like I remember went to Tim Dillon's house Great house up in the hills Functionality sucked How so? Because you've got to go in

And then over And then you've got to go way down here And down another thing to get to the pool And then the pool view is great But you're so far away from the house It's kind of lonely You know what I mean Your pool is

right there next to this beautiful yard with this awesome what's it called pavilion that's outside it's a house outside with no walls refrigerator fireplace and then you get tv you got a jacuzzi next to that is kind of connected you got all this space outside that is usable functional space it's not too far away from each other but it's not too close to each other it's not like the pool is right there the pool is over there It's like this perfect Then you go in to the house And there's a TV room

Then you go downstairs And there's another podcast studio Another, you know, your room Then you go upstairs It's this open concept kitchen dining room That has a TV It sounds like you're giving a map to a person That I'm asking you to kill Christine or something

Then you go upstairs To the left where Christine sleeps For the hours of this and this But here's a thing When you walk in the door from outside There's a bathroom right to the full bath Right to the left but not sometimes people have that full bath that the guest bath that's kind of the shit bathroom this is like a insane beautiful you know regular bathroom it's got a bidet if you want to make shits it's insane you can shower but it's a nice it's not that little you know what I mean and it's just a perfect house functionality then you go there through there you got the gym swell academy you got your little you got your little you know tool shop

I guess it's called. Oh, my work, my workspace. Your workspace. Can I ask a question, though? You had that, I didn't take that rack that were you going to throw out, but it was broken. We fixed it.

But I fixed it in two seconds. I could have, you did fix it in two seconds. That was, it was a pretty easy fix. I just took Christine at like, it's broken, we're getting rid of it. It looks like shit, like, because it was so dirty anyway that I was like, sure, get rid of it and get a new one.

So you got a new one. It was just a simple, like, needed to be put back in. Yeah, putting the pegs back into the holes. It wasn't that big of a deal. But we still have it for you. We're going to clean out the mouse poops. It's, ugh.

You know what? What? I'm good. Is it mouse poop in it? You just told us that. Oh, yeah, there was mouse poop in it. That was disgusting. Thanks for cleaning.

I'll pick it up. But your house is amazing. And I remember we're driving down. I went over your house early, and you were going to Philly to pick up sandwiches. Yeah. For this. End journeys. And Jersey to pick up sandwich

Which is nuts It's crazy No I mean I meant and jerseys Oh and jersey Yeah you fucked me up with that too Because we did go to Jersey and Philly But we went to Jersey To pick up jerseys

Yeah Your jersey and you lied to me How did I lie to you You lied to me How so? Because you said we're going to pick up jerseys And I told you I don't go to a fucking Philly Fest

Jersey It wasn't It was all Philly Fest Okay it's primarily It's 99% And I asked the guy Do you have any Patriots Jersey He goes, fucking no, why would we have that?

He pushed you, send you over to the clearance bin. He said, like, there might be over there and, like, the doodads and what have yous. I don't want to fucking, I'm not buying a dodad and a what-have-y use. And then? What do? What do they do to show that you respect? They gave me a mug. Yes.

That was on the table that they used to put tags. Yes. Just because I said I liked it. It was a Red Sox mug. How nice is that place, then? Do that for you? I mean, they were sweet as hell for doing that. But there's no.

There was even a price. tag underneath it. They didn't charge. 20 bucks. He gave it to me free. The guy is amazing, but you lied to me. You said this, you said they have all kinds of jerseys. They do. They just didn't have any Patriots at the time because there's no one to make a jersey for right now.

They don't have any Patriots. They have no, anything. No, they have like, no, there's like dolphins. They have like big players, yeah. A couple things. The major players on the other teams still have. It was 99% Philly. 99.9% Philly. Philly. All phyllis.

Yeah, but 0.01%, you get that mug. You know what? You always look at the brightest side of things. I got to say, I got to accept that. I'm being negative, and you're being positive. I'm being positive. We went down there, and it was so, it was crazy to me. It was such a great day that you got, you got, I mean, the fats in one side you still lives

because you ordered so much food. Too much food. Too much food. You ordered nine pork sandwiches. You ordered seven steak and cheese. I think exactly what I did. Tell us the order. This is for seven people, eight people.

Ten cheese steaks. It's crazy. Eight roast pork sandwiches. Holy shit. Eight Italian hosies. Tapping? Tapping? Somebody's tapping.

My hands are. My feet are on. Who is tapping? Picking up. Who is tapping? Maybe your arm, the armchair. Oh, the armchair's touching the thing. We can hear it.

Can that be? I'm like, I'm just sitting with my hands folded, it stops tapping. Like, what's happening? I'm sorry. Everybody just attacked Jay. Yeah. Stop with the fucking tapping. Why are you getting so comfortable?

Ten cheese steaks. Ten cheese steaks? Eight roast pork. Eight roast porks. Eight Italian. Eight Italian. What? Fortuna.

Why? That's the thing that threw me. You had 10 cheese steaks, you had eight roast porks, which is enough for the amount of people were having, right? And then you had the Italians, which is, how many? Seven? Eight. Eight Italian subs, which were great. That's enough.

But then you threw a couple tuna. That's like a personal thing between you and Christine. That's your sandwich, right? The place is good tuna. Isabella. That was a fucking great tuna. Was it? You had it?

Yeah, yeah. Tuna's really good. I mean, tuna is. Tuna. Now, I like tuna when you go to a place that's not making it to be the healthy option. It's so mayonnaisey and it was so... What's in it? What else is in the sub?

It's like mayo and tuna. My guess it would be mayo, tuna, and oil. You did, maybe, probably. I didn't have the tuna. It's like that darker kind of tuna. I didn't have the tuna. Those are great. But I knew they weren't going to be like a huge thing, so I got four of those.

And then four cheese steak stromboles. The subs are not small subs. No. They are large. They're heavy subs, large subs. Bobby, like, we're all construction workers. He made me eat a roast pork right in the, right in front of the place where we got it. Because if we're going to jump into one of these, I was like, no, we get to take him back.

He goes, I would jump into one. I go, I'm not really hungry. And then you kind of feeds it to you almost. Like, you're like, okay, I'll have some with you. It was so good. Because the fatso still lives inside me. It was so good. There's no way I'm going to Tony Luke's and not eat one on the trunk.

I'm not getting a fucking warm or cold Tony Luke's later when we can have a fresh one. We did have a fresh year. I was so happy you made him do that. Why? Because it's just like a fun little thing and it's something you don't want to do but I feel like having it fresh on the scene

is a nice little. You're going to have got one of each sandwich for everybody. Yeah, fatso. Sorry, that just came out. It's called overdoing it. I just want to make sure everybody had a full sandwich of everything. I had a panic attack when I saw it.

I was like, what are we going to do it? Oh, you're forgetting two, four large cheese stick stromboli. I didn't forget that I said. I'm not forgetting it. I pulled a hammie bringing that shit from the car to the house. I told you not to bring it all once, you psycho. It was, I didn't. I brought half of it.

It was heavy. So heavy. I mean, when I picked up the two boxes of steaks, I think they come in a box. And then I had the stromboli's. Four boxes of stromboles. I could not. There had two boxes of steaks and the strambolis. I was like, I got this.

I didn't have it. It was like moving. couch into the house it said catering on all the boxes well that was a 40 person event it was a party i mean we walked it was eight people it was eight of us it was it was insane it was eight people but i'm i look man everybody let everybody leave full everybody leave a little bit of food bring home and sandwiches to go we threw out too much food did you throw it out not that much well no i dude i respect it i get it but the thing is is we were coming back and we were talking about the and you opened up to me a little bit,

which you do once in a while, but not often do you let it out? And I don't know if you let it out in town a little bit, you'll, you know, we had a lot of fun going down. We just trash, and, I mean, we're going, it's like we're almost doing the show on the drive down. Yeah. We're just making each other laugh the whole way.

And then on the way back, though, you kind of opened up a little bit, started talking about Keith. Yeah. And you were, you were saying, like, you know, you want to make sure he gets an Uber. It's important to you that he's coming over because... Oh, yeah, he was the person that brought us, me, Kevin Kurt, really, out of Philadelphia.

He's the guy who brought you out, and the times you didn't want to go. He cursed you out and kind of guilted you and made you, hey, man, you better come or I'm going to stop. Yeah, yeah. And he's the guy that made you come in every night, even though you weren't getting on. He's the guy that believed in you kind of showed you the path and told you and gave you that fatherly hard love into comedy. that got you where you are and you had no money you had a shit car yeah you had nothing saturn and now here you are and this guy who was your comedy father at that point is coming to your house this house with a pool with a jacuzzi with an outdoor pavilion yeah with the downstairs and then

the downstairs this beautiful thing and here he's coming over and you were like i want to make sure he's comfortable i want to get him here should we get him a uh over black Yeah. And I was like, no, I just get him a regular Uber. And we had to call him. You were like, no, no, call him and find it what he wants. Well, it was the idea was, I knew I was going to send him a black car. Yeah.

It's Keith. And he's black. Got to take care of Keith. He's black. And I said, are we going to get him? Well, you could up that music, Lou. And I said, no, no, I'm getting Keith a black car. But let's see, because you pointed out, he goes, a SUV.

be nice, obviously, but might be difficult for him to get into. To get in, and yeah, the guy's not going to help him in, but I said, we'll call him. You said, you let's call him, see what he wants to do. And he said, get me a regular car, stupid, right? And you're like, all right, so we got him a car. And then I was like, make sure that the, when you get a car for somebody, it says, do you want conversation and do you want the, what do you want the temperature? And I said, make sure there's, yes, I love conversation and I want it really cold.

The settings were love to chat, very cold. that's how we set Keith up in his car to come over and he eventually threw his stroke face had to say several times turn her heat up turn or heat up but the greatest part of the day on the pavilion

all hanging out TV on refrigerator outside everybody had drink I was smoking a cigar we were snacking and it was the moment you were waiting for you got up you like Keith's here and you kind of got up like Elvis is coming to the building

And you got up and you went outside and you walked him in from outside through the garage over to the place. And I'm sitting like, oh, this is cool. He's going to see this is a moment for Jay. And Keith walked in and he fucking, he walked in the backyard where I was sitting there watching the TV outside. Outside TV. And he goes, TV's too small. He goes, could you have a smaller TV? 55 inches outdoors oh the son of a bitch i mean fireplace refrigerator snacks

tv we're outside it was it had a heater it was so beautiful i told him i was showing my giant TVs but it's going to take him 72 hours to see my entire house Keith didn't want to go in nah i'm not going inside stupid he sat down he's like a TV's too small i was like listen i would have had to carry him i would have had to carry him like a ventriloquist dummy to bring him around my house with any kind of time it's all all steps. I was like, listen, Jay. I was telling Keith, I'm like, listen, man,

he's got a TV outside. In a pavilion, there's a refrigerator. We're all having a good time. There's a fridge. There's a fireplace. We're outside next to a jacuzzi. I'm like, I mean, it could be like maybe a foot bigger. It could be, it could fit the space a little.

It could. You know, outside, there is like a foot and a half on each side of the TV. None of you were wrong. Of brick. Keith was making a point. But I just, the whole ride up there, the whole thing that you just, telling me, and he was so like, I can't wait for Keith to see my house and the first stupid words out of his mouth.

TV's too small. Could it be any smaller. Could it be a small. I saw, Jay went, huh? I know. I was like a worst thing you're possibly saying, Jay. I was like, great, now we're getting a new phone of TV. By the way, the TV sized perfectly where it can come out and fit under the fan to turn.

Do not listen to her. I don't listen to her. Are the new TV's on the way? I'd rather buy a new fan than the deal. Didn't deal with that. Oh, yeah, yeah. That favorite part with Keith was when it started raining and how to bring him in from the pavilion to inside.

It starts raining and he doesn't want help walking in. So he walks in the rain singing, It's a Man's World by James Brown. And it takes him so long that he does not stop singing, it's a man's world. He is a true piece of shit. I mean, the guy, he knows this guy from Philly having a fucking sadder,

nothing from nothing he's walking into his beautiful house he ubered him there he took care of over there he walks in we're outside of this beautiful you don't understand how pretty jays house is and the first thing i yeah tv could be bigger small doesn't fit that space and then bobby piled on top and it's all i can think about i very quickly after said let's move inside he's getting to see the seventy seven inch he goes nah i'm good out here stupid