The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jay's Lost Twin

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Jay looks exactly like an actor from Lost and he's not happy about it. Jacob plays a ridiculous scene from Dirty Harry. Bobby loves America so much that he cries during fireworks. Will Smith performs a new song. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

Now that Dan is gone, Big J and Robert K Christine and the crew Black via The white DJ and Black Lou Call the dead a motherfucka in here Coco, co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co-co- Dan is a huge disgrace. What's in my head? Dan's got cubes on his face. Back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to Oh Man that kooky still has it. I mean from back then His stuff back from that back then still has it. He's a lunatic. It's one man show doesn't get your dick hard anymore My lord, dude him walking off stage is the lamest funniest thing ever Chris actually find it again. I want to hear it again It's the bonfire faction talk series xm 103 Big J. Okerson that is the great Robert Kelly. I like that. I like that you call me the great Robert Kelly What do you want Jacob?

Coming over here with your little slide. What do you want coming over your little snaky energy freaking me out Bobby took such a beautiful picture you scoffed that so Bobby's biting Bobby's just sore from that you weren't doing anything bad over there he's still upset about you scoffing Bobby as an influencer takes great photos yeah and that was a great photo you're being too hard on yourself Jacob yeah I had a perfect photo of you I had catalog Jacob that should literally be your Tinder profile. Yeah, or your J-date profile. Yeah, when you go out with those bushy, chua Jew girls. I see something different than you. You go out with those fucking Zionists. Yeah.

Jew! Why don't you marry an old Jewish girl and you guys can watch each other's moles grow. Yeah, why don't you get a nice big lip, big nose, Barbra Streisand, hot Jewish woman. You wish, dude. That's Jay's type. You wish, bro.

It's Jay's type. Young Barbra Streisand? Don't get me started on this again. I know I think she is So I with you and I but you know, you know share my same enthusiasm for lies. Manali lies. Manali is an ugly man. I Think I'm gay You like lies Manali goes, you know, this is beautiful share even now I Like guys that pretend to be share I just see some I look at picture of myself. I see something completely we all got a monster

Yeah, we all showed it to me because we all have shitty self-esteem I don't like looking at I don't like looking at a mirror. I don't like I don't like brushing my fucking teeth I don't look at me. I've never brushed my teeth in front of a mirror. Yeah, I don't like it, dude. I wander, wherever I'm at, I wander where I brush teeth. When I see a guy at a club taking photos, I will go up to him and be like, dude, fucking nothing from below, from the back. I see photos of clubs, I get so sad.

We all hate ourselves. Dude, our friend Michelle, our friend Michelle, and we would stay at her house. Your choices for shower were an un-temperature regulated one where you could be by yourself but behind some saloon doors. But our other one looked like Bruce Lee's Game of Death. It was mirrors everywhere.

You saw your body from 75 angles in the shower. I couldn't deal with that. If you dropped the soap soap dude, it looked, when I would bend down and look at you, I was fucking melting into the fucking drain. Oh my fuck. I would too, if I dropped the soap, I would like, I'd stay back shoulder square

and I would try to lift it up the wall with my foot until I can get it without bending over at all. What a monster, what monster does that? I work out, I've been working out so hard. Eating right, I'm doing so good. And I feel awesome inside my own head. And then I go to take a shower and there's a mirror in our bedroom

and I wanna fucking punch it every time because it does nothing. All the work, all the fucking struggle and I'm still a tub of shit. It does. That's why we bond on the show. I worked out today, the one mirror I have just to make sure

I don't look like a monster when I leave. You know, I put my clothes on. I got out of the shower, I just went ugh. I see just a... Just a monster. A glob. But you know what, Jacob? Right after my workouts.

I want to tell you something, Jacob. You're not a monster. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. On the inside, and the out. Jacob, peel down that jacket. No. Yeah, peel it off. Let me see your belly button.

Jacob, show me your shit. It's been six minutes we're already gay on this show. Ooh. Here we can get less gay and more pedo. Could you go to World Star Hip Hop Christine and type in Michael Jackson? Did you see this video? How are we getting less gay with him? More pedo.

Oh, okay. That's not good. Well, it's not always gay. I mean, if you're a pedo, it doesn't really matter if you're doing guys or girls. It sucks either way. Yeah. Do pedos like pubes? Hmm? Is that the way The pedals like pubes

Hmm, is that the cut off the pubes? I would have to assume they do not enjoy pubes So it's that one right there on the thing. Don't start it yet This was amazing. I thought this was gonna be like a trashing Michael You know when they have a video says Michael Jackson no filter no music no auto-tune and you're like Oh, did you see this Black Lou yet? And they usually show you that it's gonna be like, oh, you know, like Enrique Iglesias, it's terrible. They actually are terrible singers.

This is just to show you how good he fucking actually was. This is crazy. Michael Jackson's great. Play that video, Christine. Christine, play that shit. He's a great singer and a great groomer. God, the guy was so good at grooming, dancing and singing

I mean who gets a fucking amusement park to groom songwriting Top-notch. Yeah boy grooming also. I mean first of all Listen the best if you send the kids family In a helicopter ride to a mountaintop and tell them to walk back home so you can find time to fuck their son Yeah, but you deserve to get one in dog. Jay if you if you actually purchase a zoo to get boy puss, you are top-notch groomer. Everything is what a boy's like, zebras get a zebra then, whatever gets them in the door. What a giraffe's like, lettuce get heads of lettuce, I want the boys to feed them. Watch this. This is crazy.

Oh well, oh deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart and washed out dream. They follow the pattern of the wind you see. Cause they got no place to stop me. You can hear him breathing. So it's him. That's why I'm starting with me I'm starting with the man in the middle I'm asking him to change his ways and no

Sizzling in any clever if you want to make the ground a better place take a good good yourself I didn't make that I'm gonna make the world a better place, take a good look at yourself, and then make that CHANGE! I mean, that's crazy. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm gonna say this, and this is a little controversial, you know like in uh- Let him fuck the kids, right? When they have the- He's that good. When they have the- No, that's what I'm gonna say.

Oh! I was gonna say that, but you said it. Thanks for getting to it. Fuck it, wow. No, but like, they know those movies, like where they bring people, they sacrifice people, for the government so that, you know, the government and the people can do their thing.

We should have, he should have got an allotted amount of boys. Sacrifice boys. A year where, you know, hey, he got the pic, and that's your boy, and you gotta bring him to Mike, and there you go and then next year And a new boy a new boy and we get that there's parents out there that would give their boys There were parents who did that we could do runaways that nobody wants no he doesn't want to clean him up No, he wants him coming already cute. Yeah, he wants him looking a big lollipop and looking at a roller coaster with wide eyes of wonder.

Yeah, and you- I was thinking about what the government could say would lead the parents to love him anyway. You could also, because you can't- It's like a purge. You can't threaten kids with like God anymore because nobody believes in God. You could threaten them with Michael Jackson.

Like, you're gonna fuck around, I'm gonna send you to MJ's house. You're going there for camp this summer. You're going to zoo camp. Hey, during the purge, there should you're going to zoo camp during the purge There should be a subsect of the purge where it's like there's got to be a bunch of guys just fucking kids that night, too Everything's legal. There's no laws. They really focus heavy on the murder on the murder But the the rape and pedophilia is is really not represented much in that purge. Yeah, so during the purge

Everyone's become a better person a little bit, except for just wanting to murder a few people. Get out of here. Nonsense. What was this line that when we had Greg Stone in? We allow our king certain amenities. I mean, what a line. And it does sound like exactly what you're saying

should happen is exactly what happened. Yeah, but it was, they did die with no flaw. I mean, he did die with no flaw. Yeah, but then we complained about it and we still love his music. It's not like we shunned him like OJ. We shunned OJ. We shunned Louis CK. CYFA Sounds had the most uncomfortable DJ crowd work at one of the last shows of the

tour. He started playing ABC, EZ's 1, 2, 3 three yeah and he goes come on y'all you can still like him it was this before he molested the kids and then he and then he thought for a second I don't know if it was a panic and he goes this is when he was getting molested this is black Mike not. That was white. I'm like, I don't know. The crowd was like, ah. Black mic was good. Black mic had pussy. Christine's out.

She just left. She doesn't like pedophilia. She slammed her mic down. Yeah, she doesn't like it. Fuck this, dude. Yeah, fuck her. She can't take a joke. Why don't you have a talk with her tonight?

I'm sorry. Christine made a mistake one time and she got molested by Rockwell that one hit wonder who had Michael Jackson on his song I always think someone's watching me, but she thought was Michael Jackson. So whatever comes up she gets Jay yes I don't think I was no You're my list I would um man what a story I would have about it if I did. Yeah, no Never molested. So you chose this look just cuz. Yeah This is just a choice

I didn't have much option to get molested. Older step brothers, I guess maybe but now Mmm, my dad hadn't seen him to molest me. He didn't pay enough attention to molest me. That sucks. No, Step Pop wasn't a molester. Did you ever do something with your friends? Like gay stuff, my friend? Jerking off in the same room, for sure. Yeah, of course.

That's a thing. Yeah, but. It's not even gay. No. It's just fun. If they had video games back then, they wouldn't have did that. If they had, if you had a TV in your room and a fucking Sony or an Xbox and kids

We wouldn't have jerked each other off. I mean jerked off. Sorry No, but I do remember in times of something seeing your friends dicks and like I remember Like the guys that had like the bigger dick she'd be like damn yeah, he's already got a whopper, huh? Yeah, I had a friend. We all jerked off in a garage Looking at each other no not we were all looking up But I remember one of the guys had a guitar is weird What's weird is see you're working with your friends, it's weird seeing them now And it with your friends now when you like going back to that shit. What's up, dude?

Oh, hey Bobby your load still shoot fucking almost hit my mom's garage roof. Hey, you still playing the guitar Hey, you still scoring jack sessions with a bunch of dudes, what's up? We thought you were gonna say that Are you still scoring jack sessions with a bunch of dudes? What's up? Oh no, I didn't want to interrupt this. No, no, go ahead. We were waiting. We thought you were going to say that about the times you jerked off with your friends when you were younger. No. Come on.

No, you did though. Yeah, you did. Jake, you did. I was going to talk about Sudden Impact. Is that the movie you and your friends jerked off to together? Yeah. You jerked off to that? I watched the, I brought it up a couple of weeks ago but okay you

gotta watch it the the this is the make my day scene okay it's it's fascinating now with like 45 years of distance so I didn't impact is with Jean-Claude Van Damme no no what's that dirty Harry Oh dirty Harry okay what was the point of double impact double that's the twins yes we, we did the dance Yes, when he did the fucking Zeke Average II dance. Can you pull that up? Don't kick a little ass though. Mm-hmm It's to make my diner. How many times you how many times you try to do those splits in a hotel room? I Tried to do the chair split so many times No, I never even attempted the chair split the straddle split But I will say when I was younger the dance split man

If you could do that, you were pretty fucking awesome the go down and then like come back up I just want to go in the top of a building at sunset and do a split and just Yeah, my hands together. Yeah, I'm a pigeon land on my shoulder. Yeah the van dam. Look there it is. Look at him go I can't dance. Ooh. Ooh. How many, how many How can you have so much rhythm I mean with what he does is coordination.

Jay you should get that wife beater with the, with the straps. Yo, I tell you what you think I dress like a jerkoff now. If I was yoked I would dress like an asshole. Buttafooko shirts. Everything alright? Yeah. Yeah no I gotta reschedule Yamanika but I'll tell you. I would dress like an asshole, but a fuku shirts everything alright Right now tell it what the fuck she's feeling really sick

I actually just facetimed her and I it was actually my Call kinda cuz I just was there we're going No, I was like I don't want you to I like, I don't want you to come in feeling super shitty I'm like we can get you a date and that's what we need her when she's wounded We We didn't have a full healthy yamaha. He got here. She was supposed to be here at six o'clock today. Yamanika Saunders I made the joke that She was gonna be here at 610. It was a light little racial jab.

Turns out she canceled altogether. Again. Again. Well, last time legitimately was an error in her calendar from her manager. Really? Legitimate? I do believe that. Do you know that managers, part of their job is to eat the shit if you make a mistake?

Yes, I do, but I believe that he was lying to me because they know him he's really nice. Have you ever eaten shit for Jay when it was his mistake? Yeah. What? Why would you just say yeah without even thinking? Tell me one thing. Wow. She just said yeah tell me a thing. I can't I can't I don't know why I said yes. I don't know why either. I know why we all know why she doesn't like, but can you imagine how fair she was? She goes, is there anything you hate about Christine? And I go, yes. Give me a second.

I'll find it. That's what she just did. Uh-huh. Can I ask if there's any, a time that I covered for you? You covered. She didn't say cover. Well, I meant covered. She took the shit.

I meant covered. I meant covered when you forgot something or did something and, you know, she covered for you. No. She's never covered for you? something or did something and you know, you know, she covered for you No, she's never covered for you. I've never lied for you. What capacity would you have to cover for me? Carla never found us How to set that up Carla ever found some restaurant I go you never met my cousin Christine Christina being hey, I'm cousin Christine Gotta go to pee just climb out a small bathroom in the window or a small window in the bathroom

I would have run away I Misses I mean I was gonna actually say we should take a bet on over under that she's gonna not show up today Yeah, yeah, I was looking forward to it. I was really looking forward to having her come in. I'm too, I love your makeup. Oh, I thought you said you were looking forward to her canceling.

She said we could talk about it when she comes in, but I'll tell you guys on the break. What does she have? What does she got, like, does she have a cyst in her vagina? She's pregnant. She's getting a vitro. Is it a grapefruit-side cyst they found? What, what happened?

Is she surrogating for a white family? She has a white baby in her? She had a chocolate bar,'s having a diabetic thing what? Removal surgery what's happening? What's going on do tell? What's up? What happened did she lose weight and all her wigs are too big? My wig falling on my eyes We're a JFL. She got mad at me and took a weird wig off and threw it at me We're a JFL and she got mad at me and took a weird off a wig off and threw it at me Eww

It scared the shit out of me The wigs look so good on her if you threw it at me you might as well throw a live rat on my leg Yeah, yeah, oh, I actually took it back to my room, and I wore it on I wore it on Josh's show when I played the drums. That's hilarious Yeah, I wore it with Yama Nika's wig when I played the drums What was it? Fucking eight cornrows coming in one ponytail? It was just a big afro. That's so fucked up, I'm so sad.

When you're bald, can you get a cornrow wig? Yeah. Christine, see if we can order Bobby a cornrow wig. I'd like to see Bobby with cornrows. You can, I actually just watched that on the internet because I'm an influencer and I have to. Now I feel like you were looking up cornrows. I have to keep up on the popular things. You can get a cornrow a corner guy had one look great. Then he just peeled it off. Yeah, those are all

Full wait. Yeah, no not that one No, I don't know. Maybe yeah. Yeah for men. We should all do that for Skankfest get wigs Yeah, cool. We could all do wigs for sure, but I'll tell you what you have have to do corn- Bobby. I'll do corn rowing. Bobby, that would be so awesome if you had fucking corn rowing. I just look like Lewis's dad. Papa? Papa. No, not that. I would wear that one.

You should totally get dreadlocks. Huh? You should get a dreadlock wig. We should see what dreadlocks. Oh, look at that. What's that called? Do what? Black Lou, what is that called?

No, the one to the right. No idea. What's that called do what black glue? What is that called? No the one to the right? Is that what is that twist is that a twist? Yeah, that's what it's called, but that's not what I need I need to see what I was like with dreads Look for a white dreadlock wig This is gonna be good Our those Jacob what would you do if you had a wig to choose from just fucking Superman hair? Just a nice firm side parted. Yeah. Yeah, you get you get you get like whoa. Hey hair you get like a Supergirl hair on the CW too long like Supergirl. Those are too long of dreads. Keep going

Is that a full wig? Yeah, that's a full wig. That might be my guy right there. That's a girl, but yeah. I mean the wig is my guy, and it's a guy also. No, that's a girl. It's not though. The pink?

That's a guy. That's a girl. That's a guy though. That's a girl. That's a guy. 100% a girl. Bet me $1,000. Okay.

Bet me $1,000. Right now. $1,000. $1,000 thousand dollars one thousand dollars Click on it click on oh, are you gonna say by the face? That means nothing we've I don't know if you remember last week You know what I have no idea. I'll then blow you after the show this bet No, this bet just goes on forever until we bump into that thing and find out what it is Maybe down my ass some dreads. What would you do?? Maybe use some different corn road. Maybe you do the twists What I always wanted a mohawk. Mm-hmm, but but I have a nice canvas I could do anything you really do a mohawk though might be the thing because you have a nice canvas There you go right there punk rock

That would look great. Oh, yeah, like the the voodoo priestess wig for Lou Which one's that? We passed it. What? Where's the voodoo priestess wig? I mean it didn't say that. But I want to use the baldness. That's what the hair they have when they're shaking chicken legs.

Where's the voodoo priestess? Oh, Jacob, you should get that Harlequin guy. That fucking feathered hair right there to the right. Him, yeah, right there. Oh, Jacob, right there. Oh, Jacob, that's your stuff for sure right there Jacob I mean that's luxurious that's either gonna be yours or black lose You would wear that black look

Like a Takashi 6-9 vibe like to rock some shit like that okay, or you want some crazy some wild shit yeah Yeah, you see how you look though Lou with like the the Tobias Harris Who's another more famous person that has that just like the twists kind of fades into some twists? I'd be curious we have a Kobe a prime Kobe maybe haircut can we get Christine a kid and play I Maybe a haircut. Can we get Christine a kid and play? I want a nice tall Afro for Christine. Oh, okay.

Black Lou, I'm seeing this now and I don't hate it. I want Lou to wear that. You want that? I wanna get this and go to the gathering with you. Oh my God. Did I get announced? Oh. I think I am, right?

Are you? I don't know. We are now. We are now. Fuck. I'm doing the gathering of the Juggalos this year. really? Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I'm excited. It's gonna be fun. Yeah Fucking terrified. I don't know if the show's gonna be fun, but the that's a really good gathering like they're watching it Now I'm thinking Lou. I want you to have the Beetlejuice wig possibly with the big horseshoe and the hair starts in the back

I'm thinking about an adult gohan Dragon Ball Z hair. Look at that. That's what you have now. You sure you didn't get molested? Oh man, I didn't though. God damn it. Oh I like these Takashi 6ix9ine wings for Lou kashi is looks like a sexy girl in that photo the one back there. Oh, yeah right there Oh, it works on a girl it works Yeah, look at that chain though, huh? How does he have so much money? He doesn't anymore. I don't think it's true He's still they show him going overseas and like throwing a hundred thousand dollars in the air. Yeah You think they just collects it all buddy Buddy, it's not like he, he probably takes all his money and just has it.

You know what I mean? It's not like he's... Oh yeah, like everything he owns, he has in a bag with him at all times. Yeah, you see that video where he's like, this is a house, all his watches, and they're not, by the way. Christine, would you do a bald wig, a bald cap?

You just be me? Let's just see how you look. Will you look like me? Will you be me and Lou? It's fine, they're close. Is Christine really a little alien head? Yeah. Jay's hard all skank fest, because that's what he wants,

to fuck me and Lou. Christine, do me a favor. Can you put a few on and take care of that hair for me? That's the only reason why you have me on the show, because I'm your type. You are so my type. Dude, you're so my thing. You were so bummed when Dan got space wig.

I know. You got that new hair hair fucking jerk off. Oh Okay, now hang on these aren't that expensive either Some of them some of that quality wigs so what yeah who cares But I tell you what I think I really might want that full the triangle base over there I want to hear like that girl Addis. By the way, I have an opportunity and I do something that a lot of shows

wouldn't get the chance to do in a situation like we had. What's that? Addis Fouche is doing SDR show tonight. I could ask her how that show went on Friday. Yeah. I get to ask her, did they talk over each other the entire time? You know what you should do is ask her how she thought this show went

No Find out find out about that objectively at us. What do you think? Appearance on our show yeah, just tell us what if you just give an honest opinion and yeah, what do you think that went? think that went? One to ten. Ten being great. One being not so great. Where do you think that fell into? There's what I think. 1970s Mohawk, Funtasy wig. That's DJ Lou right there. That should be his new nickname, Funtasy. Funtasy Lou? That's what you call my front stomach. Funtasy. I like it because I could wear it a lot Yeah, are you gonna wear it all the time? It's got side flaps. I don't like no. No, I want it to be believable Yeah, Jamar has one that's like just the hawk

Yeah, just like tapes on you can cut the side flaps off and just glue the top on buddy cuz you're bald That's the cover hair. Just cut the side flaps off and put it on. Mohawk wig for bald. For bald man. You're a goddamn professional Googler. I really am. If I ever lost this job I could steal Christine's. Native American. Jay could you bring that up? Christine do you want me to see how I look in that the monofilament blonde Remy which would make me look like Jason Momoa probably it's really the only thing I'm missing from being Jason Momoa is that hair or Jason Momoa's cousin that still lives in some Samoa Moa happy Peter Momoa, it's fat Pete Moa People mo you see it owns a shrimp truck in Hawaii

I don't go out there because of my gout though He was on Hawaii five-o for two seasons Lost Lost is now coming to Netflix. So I was looking at the Netflix up and coming things, new and noteworthy or it's in the new thing. And if you go to it, the cover, the thumbnail, just a picture of that guy who people said for years,

of a show I never watched, that I looked like this guy. And then one day I was like, who's this guy? That looks like you. I'm not going to talk until you guys all get your laughs. And then one day I was like It looks like every version of you Hey Jay. That's Philly Jay. Christine laughs because I go, I don't look like him, but I look exactly like him. And I'm a fat ugly piece of shit is what I said. Look at, look. I've seen you make those faces a bunch That's just fat face fuckhead J When you're the role of him hey, dude, Jay, we're gonna pizza. That's your face. He goes. I don't think they have deep dish

The first time I saw this guy probably season without like late in the show I saw a commercial for it and he emerged from like the darkness on some commercial was like just that and I was like mother fuck That's definitely the guy. There's a guy like You like the guy from lost I don't know you're talking And then I was like it's not funny. So you're talking about no I saw I go it's been so funny every time they've said it And it's funny right now Maybe that actually kicks him in gear to lose the 70 pounds he lost. Well he motivated you Jay. You look good now. I didn't think about it once. I just, it doesn't matter.

I'm smaller than that guy now. I look exactly like him still. I just look like, his name's Jorge something. When you had the long straight, can you pull up a side by side of the? Me with long hair? Yeah. Yeah. Oh wait, he cut his hair now.

Oh my God. Jesus Christ. He's gonna play you if you die in your fire. I'm still gonna die first. Oh my God. I'm still gonna die first Alright, Christine Okay, Christine Okay, now I mean this is fucking wow

Does he go to your barber? Yeah, that'd be so funny if he, you go there one day and he's there talking to your boy No, it's so funny cause you're talking about the thumbnail like it was you. Oh, yeah. There I am. Fucking fat, ugly piece of shit. We don't have my we don't have my dreads, though. You guys will see.

I wonder, I'm going to look up Jorge Garcia with dreads. Oh, let's see. Oh, yeah. Let's see what I would look like with dreads, I guess. Jorge Garcia. Well, there he is with cornrows. Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, aka The Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson.

I only have one aka. I'm a cowboy. Look, if you love the bonfire, which we know you do, this is just half of the show. That's right, this is the podcast version, everybody. So if you wanna hear the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to get the whole thing. Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment too.

It's not just us, you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show. You can go to all kinds of other shows and you know what, tell a friend. But most importantly, this show. Yeah, this show, you go to all kinds of other shows and you know what, tell a friend. But most importantly, this show. Yeah, this show. Just go to this show. Do something resembling anything.

We have the exact fucking. Wow. Oh my God. Jesus Christ, Jay. Those are like three of your headshots. I Although this is convincing me that I would look all right with cornrows to get them the moment the sledgehammer to for the face to look Alike I know there is oh my god. I see it. Oh we do too. I know you do That's why I'm sitting back comedic law. I sit back and let you guys work me over

Go on. Son of a bitch bastard. You guys really do have that two inch hair, that forehead. Your eyebrow hair and your pubic hair connect. Oh my god. I think the sledgehammer is it. No, she's right. Jacob's right. That one right there. That one right there is, that's him. With the clouds behind me.

Or even the one where I'm a boardwalk magician giving double metal horns Can somebody take that photo and make a loss post there? I want to hang it in my fucking office Me and this guy have identical emotions on our faces always And all of them look sort of hungry Top left he just found food. Top right, food's over. Top left, you want to fight for food with some kind of a jungle cat.

Bottom left, he just ate food. Yeah, he just ate food. Now he's pumped and ready to fight. Yeah, the other one looks like he's looking at you like your food. Oh, there it is. Wow. I mean.

You guys have the same photos. Oh, man. Oh, man. Just if you go back and forth, it's the same person. Yeah. God damn it, man. Yeah, what are you going to do? I did have gorgeous long hair, though, huh?

You did. You did have gorgeous Hawaiian curls. I had beautiful long hair, and then I cut it because this guy, they looked like me. And now he cut it, and now I look like him again. That fat Mexican bitch. Fuck. It's much better when there are people

that look like Joey Fatone. That's better than this. It's way better than this. Not like Joey Fatone, that's better than this. It's way better than this. Not for Joey Fatone. It's not. He actually messaged me and invited us to come, they're playing in Portchester. Where is that?

Where's Portchester in New York? It's near me. It's Westchester. Is it? Yeah. AJ McClain, is that his name from Backstreet Boys, right? He said AJ McClan and him are touring together Doing venues so gotta go. Yeah, it's right near me. I'll go there. It's kind of ghetto, but it's nice

Just as a little ghetto they have they have an amusement park out there. That's the fucking worst amusement park ever It's just I mean it's just a ghetto amusement park Is there a 24-hour camera on it Christine wouldn't do you wouldn't mind doing me a favor, bring up camera two, Kensington Ave, Philadelphia Police, just in the background while we talk. Yeah, well, I forget what it's called. It's an amusement park out there, but it's so, me and Don brought Max there when he was a kid, and it was just fucking awful, dude. Like dangerous rides awful, or just like ghetto,

kind of like shitty people, trashy? Yeah, like you know you're going to an amusement park park the people that work there kind of an enthusiasm about it And they're very into the their job at the rollercoaster these people like yeah, go ahead Like nobody cared about the job. He goes hey is this strap connected enough? Just I think yeah, you saw the guy running the ride on his cell phone while you're on the ride Yeah, I uh it's gone a minute too long. I've put so much faith into uh Carnival rides in my life. Why is camera 2 not coming up at all? It's the second video when you look up Kensington Ave Philadelphia live. Excuse me, but go to camera 5 first. Oh god

What's wrong? I took fuck it one of these stupid zens again. I shouldn't have did it You go all over the place with flavors, too. Well, this one's a 15 milligram and it's just too much. What's it doing? It's making me feel like I'm in have menopause What does that mean? You're drying out. I just get hot. It gives you hot. I'm good. Fuck. Yeah I just clicked on it. I couldn't find it on YouTube at all. This has to be something to do with us This has to be something to do with us. This has to be something to do with us. Or something very violence happening right now we can't see.

Go to camera four, quick Christine. What's going on around the corner? Oh guys, wanna be super sleuths? What if we solve it? I'm 46 watching. Now, nothing. Oh, there's something going on right there though. Those three guys are doing something.

Oh yeah, it was a little bump bum talk But you don't really see in this neighborhood What if we just saw there's no racism what if you saw AJ from yesterday just buying crack I'm back those guys drove me over the edge does look fun. Oh Man, a lot of nice cars drive by too, which is weird, but no nice cars park there Oh man, lot of nice cars drive by too, which is weird, but no nice cars park there. Ken's into. That guy. A lot of people have bags of shit.

Sure. They all have bags. That's a Wawa bag. Yes, Jacob? No, I was wondering if I could show you the sudden impact. Oh yes. Sure, Jacob. Please.

Please. Well, what I want you to see from this... Did you bring it up? No, I have no idea what he's talking about. Oh, Black Lou please. Please. Well what I want to do from this Oh black Lou brought it up and you can go you can scroll ahead when Harry comes back into the diner You can it's like almost halfway through but the setup is let me set this up though. There are five or six black criminals Lou it has to be said because it's very important to the scene. What do you think this is, 1985 Jacob? They're just criminals now. Oh, you know what's funny? Jacob brought this up earlier and when he realized Yamanika wasn't

coming in he goes, we can push it. Now these guys, this is a cop diner and they're waiting for Harry to leave. Why would you come in For him, why would you wait to hold this place up? Waiting for him to get his morning coffee Why not just pick a different diner altogether? But they just wait for him and they know he's a cop and You can see these guys the actors cringing with the dialogue You can see these guys the actors cringing with the dialogue

They have to say though this guy's the best because he calls Harry a sucker twice, which I love you do love that What you doing pig-faced sucker and then he then he and then he then he has the and that and right before this nobody every Nobody remembers he says to uh, I think the hostess come on mama We're gonna go in the back and have a party. He's about the raper nice during the robbery Because I watched it ten times. Well, you don't know that it was right He could have went back and had a cake maybe some way had a gun to her head. Yeah Doesn't matter sometimes you gotta force people to have fun It's one of the greatest scenes but what I want you to say I want you to hear all this What if you went back there and it was all her friends happy birthday?

Surprise surprise sucka But what I want you to say, I want you to hear all this. What if you went back there and there was all her friends, Happy birthday to you. Surprise, you go, surprise, sucker. Oh, my God. Surprise, birthday ass sucker. I do look at it like, God damn, man, this is what they had, the actors had as a choice for roles. But the dialogues, but Harry, I want you to see how long he takes to to reach in for his forty-four magnum while he's giving a speech like in slow motion this guy has his gun pointed

at his head. But look at the other guy. Harry saw a bitch in his heart and knew there was no reason to, he goes no reason to rush this guy ain't about shit he ain't gonna pull that trigger. Of the white guy has a disguise on. He's the only one. No, no, no, no. They're all black. That's a black man with a shotgun pointed at Harry. They all have guns pointed at him.

Shotgun ass having sucker? But he has his hair parted to the side. No, it's a beret. Where should I start this from? Bobby, you guys want tons of light in the studio and this is the price we pay. You know it's a beret. Where should I start this one? It is right when it gone back You guys want right in the studio, and this is the price we pay well We thought we were gonna be filming today because we had a special guest that didn't come in oh Hmm well, I guess we'll have to be funny on our own then The cameras are on

Oh You're doing Every day for the last ten years Loretta there has been giving me a large black coffee It's a large. She gives me a lot of those days. It was a large, right? He's got a little styrofoam cup that would be laughed at now. It would be laughed at. The worst supers not in front of it. It'd be funny if they had to do this now, he'd have to have a Trenta. He'd look like an idiot just holding a huge coffee.

I always come in here for this truffle coffee. And then you guys. I always come in here for a Como Macchiato with two Splenda. By the way, the white white lady is holding by the arm Is looking at dirty Harry was kind of like a alright cock block We're trying to go have a party in the back if you went back a little further You just met mr. Seymour says come on. I'm gonna go in the back and have a party. I like it It's got sugar

A lot of sugar Because by the way pause it if you look at her Posture she looks like she's leading him to the back and he's like, oh wait, I got to deal with 30 Harry first She's still facing the party Yeah, no No, I have a feeling she's not looking at rape Making funny jokes. Yeah No, no, you're probably right. She probably doesn't want to get raped. I know that but I'm just saying the body language is just...

Yeah. Yeah. Jay, once in a while is gonna throw a little joke in. I'm just gonna nail a joke. In 2024... Yeah, once in a while. Yeah, once in a while. You're fucking Jacob Rogan over here.

Yeah, what the fuck? No, you're thinking 2024, Jay. Yeah, I am. One plus one equals nothing. Shut up. Shut up. Fucking asshole. I just got a headache

What is it? back to complain Are you boys put those guns down? Say what say what? Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here. Who is we sucker? The best line ever. Smith and Wesson and me.

He took about 15 seconds to pull the... By the way, did you see him just duck a bullet? Yeah. He shot the guy, the guy shot did you see him just duck a bullet? Yeah. He shot the guy, the guy shot back, and he just like, he lowered his head. Like he saw where it was going. Nope. And by the way, there's three other... Is it the last dragon?

There's three other criminals... Mm-hmm. ...who happen to be black. That are right, that are in there also. None of them can hit this guy. They all have guns. I'll tell you what, in the 80s... Shotguns trained on them.

For an 80s film, I gotta say, balls, kudos to the director for making one street gang all one race, finally. I mean, that was the problem with 80s movies. You don't believe these affiliations. Right now there'd be like a redheaded freckle lesbian in the gang. It's crazy, the gangs in Death Wish movies, dude, they don't make any kind of sense

It's like the gang from a police academy to Bob Goldway's gang ever nothing makes a difference fucking punk rock guys black hip hoppy break dancers trench coats You can play the rest of this My favorite coffee shop Um, you can play the rest of this. Oh no. My favorite coffee shop. This guy just waits to get shot. This guy, he has... The gun wasn't even up. He's like, no, no, no, I give up.

No, no, no, I'm done. Oh, the comments, they... it's like... He's Jesus in this scene. Yeah, but like the greatest and the waitress the the chubby wages is right there. Yeah. Yeah Oh Do you imagine a relief why does he imagine a relief you're trying to kill somebody and then they take a hostage You don't know or care about You're trying to kill somebody and then they take a hostage. You don't know or care about I know he does I'm just saying putting myself in the position of someone I don't know Loretta So if I was the one getting the drop on these guys and they go make a move and I'll kill Loretta go Is that Loretta?

Do you have like kids there's like give me a reason to give a shit, but he's not even the gun at Loretta He's just pointing at the wall. I know for a fact Loretta fucked one of her 13 year old Hispanic students You picked the wrong hostage Like when you have the gun at her head if you're gonna have her as a hostage is that any Kane jr. None of these criminals are playing this out very well But I lose a question for you knowing else watch the five heartbeats put me and you in here no one else. Watch the five heartbeats, put me and you in here. Is that, you never saw the five heartbeats? Get back in your black chair.

How dare you? Jay. How dare you, Lou? You can't say that. I can't believe you didn't watch the five heartbeats. It's a black must. Go ahead, make my day. Clint's the best man. Yeah, I just wish he got that mole removed.

It's interesting he says at the end of a wild murder spree, because I will say it's funny, he goes, seven. Seven murders would have made his day. So when he goes home at night and goes, how was your day, honey? He goes, could have been great, but one guy didn't shoot at me, so I didn't get to kill him. Pretty morbid, Dad.

Yeah, yeah, that's why I don't bring work home with me. You know Loretta from The Diner? Dead. That's basically it. There's nothing more after this, Chris. That's okay. He doesn't make his day? No, no, he gives up. He puts the gun down. You have this, I'm gonna get some of these topics in here. The next hour I want to talk, I want to watch that Terrence Howard thing. I didn't watch

any of that. I didn't know he went back on Rogan. And then a math guy made him look stupid. He's wearing a cornrow wig now. He actually looks better. He looks like he lost a little weight. But he's wearing another weird hoodie with his little logo on it. The guy's stylish. He went back on with another genius,

a real genius guy who's been on Rogan before. I don't know, but I know I've watched him on before and it was fucking nuts. Well, I don't do that just yet No, I have to break it. But uh, I'd like to see Wilson you sent a clip of Will Smith's new song It's but is there a whole version of the song or just that a or a whole version of that BET Awards thing because uh, I Knew something from what I saw from it. This is not very Fresh Prince of Bel Air No, it's kind of Kanye Westy

But yeah, but you'll never take Will Smith as Kanye West now And also I don't want to speech from any of my rappers you know if you're going through something in life You can get through it. He goes. Thanks. I've heard that from seven bazillion people this week Who's gonna say if you believe in believe in yourself, you can achieve anything. Mm-hmm. What, did you open a fucking fortune cookie today? Yeah, dude, there's your fucking twists, DJ Lou. You're gonna love those twists.

We'll put maybe a headband on in front of them. Where are you going for 4th of July while she's bringing that up? I? What are you doing? The fireworks are happening on the the Hudson so we'll probably watch from our building. Oh you can see them from your window? I think we might be able to see them from our window, if not definitely from our roof. But my thought is that we should-

On top of your building? Yeah. But I thought we should, probably the coolest thing would be to go down to the park. The park across the street right on the water should be able to see all of it Is it on the it's on the west side of the east side? Oh no shit isn't the but ten years ago we all had a barbecue preparing to watch it on the East River And it was on the West and you see the reflection in buildings it was pretty ridiculous I can't wait. I forgot about that. I'm going to Mount Washington Hotel at the bottom of the Mount Washington

Mount Washington in New Hampshire swingers party. No not a swingers party. No not before the fireworks No, there's no swinging Jay at all though the Kelly's don't swing like the Okersons Asked on called on ask her if she can say to a hundred percent certainty that in your lifetime you guys will never swing. Hmm okay. I mean I know what she's gonna say. Not she can say a certainty there's not she doesn't think maybe when she gets a little older she's gonna have some reawakening because and also let her know this is gonna be there for me

breaking up or staying with Christine today Well, here's the if dawn has a real awakening. It's gonna be full lesbo. Why do you think that? She's not cuz she's not cuz I just know she's over that day. She's Bobby. Let her know. She's on the radio She's over that day. I know you don't though. I do know you just ask you don't what's your social security number? She's gonna answer I mean she never answers cheating check the room with who check the ring video. I don't care if she's cheating She's gonna cheat has been for there you go for it exactly She never in cheating with the guy who showed up at the door. That's also one of my that's one of the few things I watch on reddit, too It's called pizza there and it's girls answering the door

Like for pizza guys and just showing themselves naked or with a dildo in their butt. Sometimes they suck his wiener I'm sorry. What did you just say? I didn't I think I heard that wrong What's okay a girl shows up at the door with a dildo in her butt sometimes and Then she just blows the guy at the door once in a while sometimes They just take the pizza and give them the money and go So let me just give the money and just turn around and let the guy see them naked or let him squeeze a titty What it's pretty great. Hmm again, this is not jerking off porn. This is smoking cigarette porn If a girl showed up on my house with a dildo in her ass, I

Would I know you're seeing it wrong the pizza delivery at my house with a dildo on her ass, I would- No, no, no, you're seeing it wrong. The pizza delivery person doesn't have a dildo up their ass. Oh, the pizza delivery guy. They're filming from inside the house. They're fucking with Pete, here you go. Oh, yeah, that would be rough.

I used to deliver D'Angelo subs, and I had a couple girls that would, one lady used to order the same sub, ham with pickles and mayonnaise, small. It was all sexual references, Bob. It was all ham, pickles, and mayo. And every time I showed up, she would have sex with me. And then she got a job in the place.

Really? Yeah, because D'Angelo's joined with Dunkin' Donuts and they opened up a Dunkin' Donuts, and she became the Dunkin' Donuts lady, and it bugged me, because she used to molest me in the walk-in freezer. That bitch. She would come in and just grab my cock, and it got uncomfortable.

You loved it. I did love it. You loved it. I did love it. She said she was 22, but I'm pretty sure she was 38. And I don't know why she lied. I'd be like, how old are you?

I'm only 22. I'm like, are you sure? Because you look 38. I'd be like how old are you? I'm only 22. I'm like, are you sure cuz you look 38 I delivered auto parts. So suffice to say nobody was ever naked when I showed up I used to live a flowers and here's your catalytic. Oh my god, sir So your name was that red my friends call me red because my dick hair look I used to live a flowers and I had to go to old folks homes all the time Look, I just deliver flowers and I had to go to old folks homes all the time

And a lot of the times I go in and they become man and they just be taking a shit with the door open Put them on the table old people shits are This is dying inside this is hot. I like that. He said their rules. Look. Hey look at my pussy. She says It's so great. That would really make my day. If I was a delivery person. Look at his little hand coming in and rubbing it. That would mean so much to me if I was a delivery driver. It would suck to be the next delivery, though, just to have pussy hands on your sub.

That gets him through the rest of the night. Oh, the person who gets the next delivery. Yeah, they're definitely getting, actually what they're probably getting is her pussy juice and his salty spit and load because he jerked off in the car before the next delivery Why does that pizza smell like nickels and mustard? So they did but here's the thing with that that could go wrong quick what if what if the pizza delivery guys like a rapist there's um Whoa Wow

Jesus I mean where'd that come from think of your mic wasn't on you. I'm an evangelical Christian Yeah, I think they show the goodies they show the ones that go well and sometimes they fuck the guy and everything really but some of them I'm sure are set up bullshit that one wasn't Cuz you know no him just like touching her pose I don't think I mean maybe but I don't think I was said that my husband messaged the driver And he was happy to play along This makes me want to get a side job Whoa

That's hard doing it seven years ago before she even knew what reddit was what a cool chick Here's the thing though with that she opens the door naked like that and this poor kid is fucked because now he's outside Should I go back in should I? What do she know absolutely that door knocks again sometimes like I think I left my come in my balls I Think you should really quick The pizza dare go to the Will Smith song. I'm sorry. I was waiting for you to bring it up When I got the pizza there, what's a new Wilson? I'm sorry. I mean it looks it looks great

Like this the before looks great. I'm a big fan. He's He also stays in fucking crazy shape, dude, Will Smith. Who needs to hear this right now? But whatever's going on in your life, I'm here to tell you. Your wife fucking your son's friend. You beat a guy up on television for nothing. Anything going on in your life. You're rife writing a book telling everyone that you're a stupid fucking idiot.

Your son turns into a girl and then turns back to a boy and then starts rapping. Your son's a lady, your daughter's a bald guy. Your wife's a bald guy. Your mother-in-law's another bald guy. And they sit around a table and talk shit about you. Everyone thinks you're gay. Well, if you're going through that, this next one's for you. You are in the smoke and the fire tight rope on the wire I see you broken and tired and all your hope is expired

You're just done with the chains and the games and the shame and this world Things are real bad sometimes I get sad but then I get mad there's things to be had That was better how do you like that one? He ran out of fucking air Shit you know it sucks when they have to bring a choir in When you think you got nothing left, keep going Don't give up on me Oh shit You know it sucks when they have to bring a choir in Holy shit, oh I like a nice urban choir too We're a bunch of thugs with voices of angels We could have went to jail but we started singing

We dress like we're tough but we punch with our words No girls ever called me handsome. They always call me cute. Oh, fuck. He stinks. It is weird he says Sunday service. It does feel like he's trying to be Kanye. It's a hundred percent trying to be edgy Kanye

Except for he won't he's wearing a shitty outfit Now that poor guy can sing and he has to do this song this sucks It makes people every people told him how he was gonna make it and he didn't I Do sing those words though on one shitty Will Smith song. Which one? You don't know it's brand new. New Will Smith. Will Smith made a new song? His bald wife wrote a book and fucked his sons? I don't know. Yeah. Dark night, hope the soul I know you can face it Face it Do not be afraid

I know you can make it Make it The darker the hell you gotta endure The brighter the heaven you get to enjoy The harder you fall, the higher you soar God opens a window when the devil closes the door Believe me, you can do it The first person he was the gift You saw God opens a window when the devil closes the door believe me this fucking is written by a ten-year-old When I began to put the story together but Christine you can't do two things it comes on the air

It's right. I'm just trying to pause it before it happens Wow that was passive aggressive that was fucking Wow happens, but thank you for the notes. Wow, that was passive aggressive. That was fucking holy shit. I mean, how many times are we gonna do it? Wow. I'm just trying to not confuse the audience. I mean, that was the most passive aggressive thing I've ever heard in my life. What, me or him?

You. You went, but thank you for helping me. Now that we're criticizing, get further away from that microphone. Oh my. But thank you for the note. That was passive aggressive, really? I mean, I would really? I mean...

I mean how many notes do I have to give? In eight years! Why don't you get some sticky notes and put it on a foot? This song is not inspiring good feelings in here. No, it's making people negative. Nothing makes a room of white people bicker like a fucking black gospel singer in the background. Yeah, this is like the slime from Ghostbusters. I mean, you want a sloppy broadcast, go ahead.

Ohhhhh Um, can you go to his performance from the last PET Awards? Slime from Ghostbusters. I mean, you want a sloppy broadcast, go ahead. Oh! Um, can you go to his performance from the last PET Awards? Cause that was so good. That's what I was trying to pull up. Um, and it's hard to find. I've been able to find it. You mean the 50 years of hip-hop, right? Yeah.

Shut up! I fucking can't stand this. 50 years of hip-hop, right? Yeah. We are not being punished, we are being forged. Shut up. I fucking can't stand this. In your darkest moments. Dancing in your darkest moments? That's gonna fucking make people uncomfortable. Jacob, your parents just both passed away in a car accident. Scoobity-dap-bap-scooby-doo-wah! Hoobity-hey!

Hey, Jay, you look like the guy from Lost. Oh, what are you talking about? Is that true? I thought thought I didn't know but I can see that I fucking fuck dude It sucks. I can't even dance through it Christine. You're fucking up the broadcast Skippity wha bamboo Huh we should take a break he said oh Okay, Jake watch you get further from the microphone. We're throwing it around. We'll be right back with Yamanique... Oh, wait a minute. Sorry.

Sorry. We'll be right back, everybody. But great news. We're no longer limited by topics. It's the bonfire. No one's got commercials. No one's got commercials this week. Right?