The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jersey Trash

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

A fight breaks out at Bobby's Jersey Shore gig!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, The Bond Fire with Big J. O'Crosson and Robert Kelly. Stop your feet, everybody. For feeling your good. Seven and six, eight, six, eight, six.

Get it, come. Here we come. We knew it was going to happen. I hate it. Oh, God. Boston. Oh. This floor is now in a face filled out of here. Probably the worst part of...

The Nutella. That was the worst part of Moon Tower for me is watching you and Karastine. You didn't like it because you find yourself loving it. It's a infectious song. I don't like your fingers. You love it. I don't like your little six of fingers.

I like it. I'll take it your fingers. You love it. I don't like your little six or fingers. I fight right now. I'll take it up and down one at a time. Whoo! Oh, clap your hands. Oh! Everybody, oh! Oh! Yeah!

76ers. The mummers parade. I'm not usually sure what it's for, what it's all about. It's the worst sports song. It's maybe the best sports song. It's so bad. What do the Celtics have? We don't have a song. That's why. Yeah, it's Irish people don't have to make music. Just Celtic foot dancers. It's a great The what what is it what was it River dance? Two three four five sixers 10 9 8 7 8 6ers. I mean that's just forced It's not it's forced

But it's fun one two three four five sixers What a history what a, what a history, rivalry. It is a rivalry. Good to see you. It's Monday. We're back. We had a crazy weekend. Good weekend, bad weekend.

You know what, Jay? I say you need a little sun and a little rain to make a rainbow. That's right. That's what I say. That's what I say, Jay. What a bright way to look at things. It's good to see everybody. Good to see you.

I enjoyed that. Yeah, that's what I say. You're happy to see friends again. Your weekend was a little more cooped out than mine, not to quote the great Kai. Your weekend was a little more cooped out, man. Mine was, I just threw my back out on a club that wasn't that cool about going up and down stairs for me. What?

It was just, yeah, the club was a little weird about the, it was whatever. Ableton, Ableton, Wisconsin, phenomenal club. Houdini, Tadah. Houdini. Did you close your act like that? Tadah. Tadah. And then I threw a smoke bomb, but unfortunately I couldn't vanish because I had to slowly

walk with my back off the stage because every step was electrical shocks through my ass and body It was that movie the magician movie with Jim Carrey and what's his name? Remember that the magician guys. What was that movie called not Jim Carrey? It was Steve Correll with Jim Carrey was in it. I'm hurt wonder stone. That was a funny movie when the old guy did the smoke bomb and you can see him crawling Wunderstone. That was a funny movie when the old guy did the smoke bomb and you can see him crawling Yeah, bad magic But um, yeah through my back out again just being 45 and look turning right. I just looked right I think what I actually caught it was I walked by the ice machine room Mm-hmm and the thing and I was like is there an ice machine in there?

And I just looked back and it was like, you felt it and you go, my head's gonna be a thing later. And then I laid on the bed for like an hour, just watching something and then got up and it was, I couldn't move. Yeah, that's a sign of age. Yeah, it's so,

I was cut my pinky off at the cigar bar. Is that a sign of age? That's a sign of stupidity in age. I can't see that your pinky wasn't your cigar Well, they had they have the cigar cutter and there's four holes small You know mediums, you know, whatever different slices you can do and you pull it back like a and I went over and I I put my cigar in but my little pinky was in the small one on the end But then somebody put girl scout cookies like 15 boxes Oh, that's nice. So the old fat fucker me went, Girl Scout cookies,

and I went hunk, and then snip the tip of my pinky off. Let me see. Yeah, see. Oh. Yeah. Bam. That was embarrassing. You got a little slice off, but it's there.

A lot of blood. Was it? A lot of blood. I had to leave. I just left. I went. Nobody wants to see a, just squirting, I guess guys taking off. I'm gonna take off.

Great to be here. Nobody wants to see a blood while you're smoking cigars and eating grilled sco-cookies. That's true, but did they have some oasis? They had every, because here's the thing, it's all guys, it's all men. Sure.

Like men, men, you know, cops, plumbers, you know, real estate guys, it's all rich, well won, comedian, right? Butbers, you know, real estate guys. It's all rich, commute well one, comedian, right? But I'm the least mainly guy there. You're the jester. And they come in with the, you know, the kid, one of the kids is selling girl scout cookies.

So, though, give me 75,000 boxes. Give me 45. And then there's just thousands of boxes of girl scout cookies sitting around for a few days. Yeah, it is great. That is great. Mmm, tag alongs. Tag alongs.

I'll tell you an underrated Girl Scout cookie is just a straight up shortbread. I love it. Good shortbread cookie. That's a sign of age too when you're into the shortbread. When you're into a little biscuit. I now fully understand when I see someone now has the thing my grandmother had the blue tin Mmm with everything we said the same cookie with the crystallized sugar on it on top. Yeah, that's a Fantastic cookie to me now you open the tin and this little in the individually little the rap baskets full of the

Sheath of cookie. Yeah, butter cookies butter cookies Hey, Jay Butter cookies butter cookies Jay And remember the chocolate chip just had like two chocolate chips in it. That was it. Yeah, that's all you need it That's all you need it. Yeah, yeah, we're not gonna die from sugar. They were pre-diabetic We do it myself. I'm checking my a1c Trying to keep my toes not tingling Jay a royal dance That's a good brand go back to that there it is in the sudden I like the Show some royal dance. I like a dance area. That's the grandmother's ones for sure Danish butter cookies. Oh, that's a good cookie, man

To South cookie the pretzel with the sugar on it just a little cookie just around three of them That's all you need a cup of tea late at night. Maybe, a, a, I'll put it right in an almond milk. Ooh, almond milk. I'll tip it right in an almond milk. I'm a, thank you, my mom. My mom wanted me to use skid milk though. How's my mom doing?

She died. Oh, she's dead. Well, tell her I said hi. Hi, my mom. You had it, honey. Oh, Lord. My mom's, I think it's a trippin' in weird.

It's my mom from heaven, what? My kids, my mom from the clouds. My mom from the clouds. And when my mom died and we went to go see train and I cried, that was the funniest. Right next to DJ Lou. I didn't know you were crying. Melting. Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?

I was like, my mom was right here. Mom, mom. That song is so sad. Great tune though. Yeah. Sing a little first, Jay. Do you mind throwing up some karaoke for me? One, two, a one, two.

Well, I need the karaoke, sorry. You get to lead me in. Oh, one. Wait, not yet. I don't want to give it. Put it be a little filly finger for me. Not the Jupiter, yeah. You know what it's called. It drops the Jupiter right.

I got a hair sip and see it. What, so I can see what? The lyrics? I don't need them. Make sure you give me a little reverb, Lou. Oh, it's, I would never let you down. Oh, what? I would never let you down. Mm-hmm. That she's back in the atmosphere would drop the Jupiter in her head.

She acts like summer and walks like rain reminds me that there's a room to change it Since the return of a stay on the moon, she listen, I can't see this words. I do need them. Hey, hey, hey, hey Tell me, dear the friends meet you? I'm f**king all the words up. Make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded. That heaven is overrated.

Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star? One without a permanent scar, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? From mama. Mama was dead. It is gone. She's still here. That she's back from that so vagation Tracing away through the constellation A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A Yeah, now that she's back in the atmosphere. I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain old Jane Don't a star about a man who was too afraid to fly so we never did

But tell me Oh Tomorrow I'm off Remember mom I'm I mean what you say? I don't know what was more price is you rocking out like that a Christine's Disgusted face. Yes, she didn't like it watching you

Why we so upset? I mean because you're pointing at Jacob instead of her What's for my mom? That's right my mom they are ignorant. I mean, I know you very well. Thank you. Oh God. I know you do Mama. Oh, I both y'all fee. You're weak at, I'm dying. We've been putting this conversation off for days now, because we got a late night text from you. Yeah.

Say that went down, but we've fallen prey to your games before when you say something crazy has happened. And we all get emotionally invested. Yes. Jacob was booking a trip to Aruba to go try to get you out. I know. My phone for every single thing he said. Nothing he said I didn't believe.

All right. Now we have to put this into context. That was on April Fool's show. You have to take some of the blame. That is true. I Jacob's called it a trash barrel. Ever since you made it a whole thing about it. It is a trash barrel. It is a trash barrel. It's a bear. It's a bear.

It's a bear. Yeah. Um. Um. Um. This is one of my favorite things ever. Blackwood, are you still singing Drops of Jupiter? I can't get up.

He can't get up. You can't. I think you singing Drops of Jupiter though. Just every time you ask Black Lou something, play that Jacob song. Just play that. Black Lou, how you doing buddy? So we get him on this audio. Okay.

If Black Lou is jamming the Drops of Jupiter I think. Oh man. We, um, yeah. Yeah. Did you read, was that what you were jamming to? Absolutely. Oh my God. Hell yeah. One love, my mom.

Great jam. Thank you. This weekend I had an incident, a real incident, and I apologize for crying wolf before. Here's what I needed to when something happens and you know this, Jay, when something happens at a club and you're driving home that hour and a half to our ride home, you need to talk to another comedian.

Sure. And I called you immediately. And Zilchell. What time is it? It was late. It was late. But it was comic time. Saturday.

Saturday. What's hard? I think it was a little late. How, I think you're an hour behind you. I'm an hour behind you. You're an hour behind you probably on stage. And I needed somebody to talk to. So I just texted the group.

Guys, this, I mean you were the first people. I just texted. This just happened. And it was fucking nuts. It sounds nuts. I was at, uh, I'm a little bit like that. Uncle Vinnie's, which I love the club.

I love Uncle Vinnie's. you know his brother great guys? It's in point pleasant point pleasant New Jersey and it is a bring your own booze Which comes with its own problems, right? Blue yeah Bring your own booze. Yeah, it's bring your booze and there's a fucking liquor store Bring your own booze. Yeah, it's bringing a booze and there's a fucking liquor store. Like, half a block away, dude. It's a pretty wild setup.

Yeah, wow. It's pretty wild. But also the comedy club is a storefront with, I want to pay the picture for you, which is curtains that go across is what keeps the outside, you know, like strip mall people not looking in. And the walls are lined with all of your favorite

1980s and 90s soap opera stars. No, no, no, no, not anymore, not anymore. Not anymore. They have a mural. Okay. I think you're on the mural. Are you on the mural? I don't know if I'm on a mural about tell you what, I'll tell you who was up there. Jack Wagner, the man who played Frisco on TV's days of our lives. Calumbo. So they just pull a curtain across the front window. A curtain across the front, but you only think keeping you and the people in the street

apart is a curtain and multiple giant posters of Vickie Bittetto and Sebastian Mekas Calco. Oh, and Andrew Dice Clay comes in. If you're Italian, you're on that thing big. And look, it says soap opera stars, right? One of, I have to say, there's a one of my favorite clubs to play. It's one show a night, and you go in, you fill it up packs out. Yeah, and it's great Good go great though. They treat you right and you go in you do your show and I'm back home I'm home watching TV before me. It's it's I love it I love it and they've always treated me well one of my favorite places to to play, but there is, it does come with problems sometimes. And-

It's a boardwalk, it's not beach time yet. I'm gonna tell you this though, Friday night, one of the best crowds I've ever performed in front of. I mean, to the point, you ever go on stage where you're like, I'm not even this good. Yeah. They're laughing so great at everything. I'm like, I mean, I wish I recorded it.

It was so- You've always felt like they found out something bad about me before the show. Like, look, Jay doesn't know yet, but he's gone stage for pancreatic. So if you guys can make this set just everything for him. It's just Christine sitting off the side. You give a talk before you came. Guys, guys, please just go bat shit on every joke. So Friday at grade, unbelievable. Went to the cigar bar at an ice-berry park with a bunch of friends. Almost. Almost. I'm pretty bad at it. And then, uh, so Saturday night, sold out, like weeks ago, sold out. And I'm very excited. When you have a sellout show weeks and the pressure's off.

The pressure's off. You know, it's fans, you know. And I go in and the first two guys Joe Russell. They thought you were Robert J Kelly from TVs as the world turns. They know they came because of my second appearance on law and order. When I played the mechanic, I don't mind that curly hair, Bob, curly bob. So anyways, I go on stage, dude. In the first second on stage, I look't mind that. Curly here Bob. Curly here Bob. So anyways I go on I go on stage dude. In the first second on stage I look to the right and there's some uff just an uff on his phone. Check a male uff. A male uff. Okay. Just checking his the devil score. Let's look scrolling through

the phone watching the game. Watching the the game as I get not checking the score What the game is actually watching the game, but like the stats thing not the actual video You know the stats thing where it's coming up right still you're on your phone You're scrolling on your phone watching the game I've had that a few times and I will argue the thing. I understand sports fandom. I understand playoffs. Stay home. Stay home. Stay and watch the game. Don't come. I don't problem that you will see me again. Yeah. You may never get to watch the devils in the playoffs. That's that's an unknown. Here's the thing. You aren't there to see me. Yeah. You came with somebody who came to see me. Which I and he told you and probably he told the friend I'm going to be

all right, dude, but I'm going to be all right dude but I'm going to be checking the game and his friend went it's totally fine. Well the friend I think was a fan. Sure. There was a couple two cup there was a that guy in his wife and this other dude in his wife. The other dude fantastic great guy. I could see it in his eyes he was a a nice guy, right? The two girls Wanted now they fucking what make me laugh That type of shit, you know whatever so I I immediately called them off season beach cunts Nothing worse than a than a then a off season beach con local beach town cunt you

I hang on top pristine hang on on. I'm talking about you. Your son cancer thighs and all that shit. Her foot pleasant has some trash. Oh, and I, I mean, flop just big fat mom boobs working with some mom boobs. I wrote this with Josh. I don't. It's just don't seem to have nothing to lose. Working with your mom boobs.

We kept saying that because there was so many of those in Austin, this girl's walking by with big sunburnt mom tits. I love mom tits. Working with your mom boobs. I love a fricking titty. I do. Well, we're at the center thunders.

Looked in my right, saw what a wonder. Saw a set of it is born in 1961 In a funny how those mom boobs It went birth by the sun Frickles everywhere And then the black chicks come in They were my limit I Mom boobs! They were my limit! I uh...

One nipple bigger than the other! Working with your mom boobs! There they go! Mom boobs! Talk about the broad side of like thunder! Mom boobs were bruised your whole chest! I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love I love she hasn't been able to run since 1999 But she keeps some fun like why working with you mom boobs You know what I wrote that with you not Josh Adam ours I'll tell you why what I'm really saying is I kept saying it outside the Josh Adam my hers

And he wasn't giving any love and I was pointing that out Yeah, and then I finally got him to go, working with the mom, but he was responsible for nothing else. No, no. We just wrote mom boobs. Big J-O-Kus and the best guy in the world. And Bob Kelly.

And Bob Kelly. And Bob Kelly wrote this. Together they wrote mom boobs. He also was impressed with that either. Working with your mom boobs. That's gonna be a, that's gonna stick in people's ears. For sure.

For sure. I, uh, so I, I, I, I fuck with a guy, but I, I move on Jay. I move on. I give him a little, I do. You can check. You can, I understand the plan. Check again.

Let us know in a couple, like 20 minutes. Whatever. I move on. I do my thing. And then something happened. I'm fucking with them because he's kind of stupid. Like I, you're keeping it like light harder. I'm like, I'm like, hey, fuck face. No, not, I'm, I'm saying you them because he's kind of stupid. Like, he, you're keeping it like lighthearted. I'm like, he fucked face.

No, not, I'm saying you look, you dumb, because his response was, uh, something like that. He just held his phone up. And I was like, oh, you're dumb, you're mentally ill. Like, you're nuts. And I said to his wife, you have to, you took him here tonight is a, whatever, just lighthearted stuff that he's an asshole,

put your phone away. And then I went back to my shit, and then I, you know, I fuck with the crowd a little bit, and I went back to the guy over here, and the girl, the nice guy's wife, didn't like that I was fucking with that guy. She took it serious, and when he's a nice guy, like he's nice, you know, he's good, he's a really good person. I'm like, are you, do you get how fucking, I'm joking. And I literally go, it says comedy behind my fucking head. That type of shit. So we kind of had it out a little bit.

And then I said to the guy, I go, is that your wife? He goes, no, my fiance, I go, dude, there's still time. Get the fuck away. You can leave, you know know joking around. Then I mean these are basic, yeah. Basic little comedy hack things to get through. He gets through them. Yeah. Right. So then I said, I said, you're getting engaged. Do you get married? Good for you, dude. You're getting married. And I went to give him a

pound. She grabbed his hand and went, don't you fucking handshake him? What he just said to me? and went, don't you fucking handshake him what he just said to me. Like that. I mean, and I mean, it was so serious and violent and angry. And I went, oh my God, do you just got bitched out in front of everybody? Like, what the, like are you going to do any? If don't, let me ask question. I know what I would do. If don't did that to me, I would literally get up and I would go, let's go. We're leaving, let's go. And I'd get in the car, go,

you ever fucking embarrass me like that again. We're done. You know what I would do? Actually, let me, if she ever did that to me, we'd go home and the next morning when she woke up, she would find the ring, who was sucked off her finger while she was sleeping and everything was out of the closet.

She had to earn it back. And Max would be gone. Yeah. And we'd be gone. That's it. Me? I take it as a teaching moment for the rest of the bitches in the audience and I crack Christine upside her head in front of everybody. Well, you know what? You're a better man than me. I go and you I go and that goes for the rest of you. Yeah, that's probably my fault. She's good. Just need to go. And goes before you guys think about calling the cops, she's just gonna tell him she's clumsy. Yeah, that's probably my fault.

Yeah. So I said this is, I go this, I'm out. I'm back it out. I left them alone. I was like, I'm out. Did you make a thing about like, I'm leaving this situation alone? Or you just did? I just moved on. In was like, I'm out. Did you make a thing about like, I'm leaving this situation alone? Or you just did?

I just moved on. In my head as a comic, the crowd was so hot. Everybody was so great. It was such an awesome show. That was an actual like major hiccup in a great crowd. It was a great crowd. Were they getting uncomfortable with that scenario? Or were they still willing to kind of work past it?

Dude, it's a Jersey Point Pleasant crowd. They wanted me to fucking just attack her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were fine with what was going on, right? But in my, I gotta go. I don't, I'm not here to do that shit. I don't wanna ruin you fucking time. I don't want you to have, I don't wanna.

Sure, you wanna know enjoy themselves. I want even her to kind of loosen up, have a good time. I actually in the, in my set would throw, I threw a couple things their way, just little jokes to like look, we're cool. You know what I mean? Let's move. But I ignored them totally, right? But she kept talking. The whole time she was talking to her husband, mumbling to the other girl, like, and she was sitting there with a fucking fuck you. I just, I smelled dog shit, but I don't know where it is face. The whole time. So what she's trying to do is make everybody see her

and just look at her. So the people across from her, I haven't, they're like, fuck, I hate her too. Well, look at her fate. So it's hard for them to pay attention to me because they're looking at this lady, just stare at me. Yes, she's done. She wants you dominated the room.

She wanted the room. She wanted to end it for everybody. Fuck it, fuck all of you. Fuck him. Fuck everybody. Mentality is I find so fascinating again. Just on the idea that like Sometimes you'll be in a room full of fans of something and you just came to see a comedy show and it's not your thing This still believe they go. This person's not good. It's like isn't it make more sense? Not yours like it's clearly good to the rest of these people that's what I never find them to just go This is not thing. Let's go. It was good out of here and when people leave like a mat How do you let's go go? Let's go watch the game. You want to watch the net the devil's game

I don't say anything when they're leaving. I let him go god good for you You made a choice as an adult you weren't like let's go and I don't fuck with you until you leave and then I trash Yeah, just a little bit because you let's go. And I don't fuck with you until you leave and then I trash you. Just a little bit, because you gotta acknowledge it. Gotta give it a bit. So I'm sitting there, I do my thing, and I keep hearing a talk in the middle. So she's yapping, she's distracting everything,

and distracting me in my head while I'm just trying to do my jokes. And around a half hour went by, I got like eight minutes left, maybe 10 minutes left. And I just, I went, you know what? Fuck this, fucking shut the fuck up. Cause you go and shut up, you keep talking. I left you alone for a half hour.

I just ignored you. I didn't even talk to you. You got to shut the fuck up. You can't just sit there and talk. If you're gonna, whatever, what, and then. I didn't write your volume talking. This is the way I did it, just like that. No, I'm saying she.

Well, she was, even if you're, listen, here's a tale, even if you're she's talking but like this. Yeah, you know, we should go to the you know, I don't know what she's saying. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. You want to go like yep. So then all hell breaks loose. So the guy, the goofy guys on the phone, his wife is not there. I don't know where she is. So I say, and then the guy looks at me and starts kind of yelling at me. I'm like, go fuck yourself. Fuck you, dude. I'm not, everybody's trying to have a good time.

Now you're ruining it for everybody around you. Here's you talking. So now they're distracted. They can't enjoy the show because of you, Fox. I go, that's not fair. I care about the other people in the fucking room who are having a good time. Yeah. And that's when

You know should Dino's brother came over and was like, you know kind of was you got to go you're done and they you know And I looked at the guy the nice guy go dude. What the fuck man do something? You see something your friends like you're a good guy you can tell he was a good guy He was a fan. I don't know what fan. You know what I mean sure a lot of bonfire fans by the way So thank you for showing up. Hell yeah crackle crackle Now this guy was this guy was OGO and I sounds like here's the thing this guy this guy got up the devil's fan got up like kind of Aggressively and I was like you know Go rangers dude. I've been I've been working out and fucking doing some shit. I'm ready to go. Yeah skinny Bobby's

Riders of fucking go you're right on leash to say tubby Bobby I get here's a fat fucking fat rage built up inside of you. I can last for like a maybe 60 seconds You said it's good 60 seconds street fight. That's fucking rage Yeah, I'm the way you hit in the way you want to those are 50 seconds too long you celebrate for 50 of those seconds so like a stone stone you take the biggest man in the world you smash his knee goes down like a bag of bricks I have to do same Elliott now that Dan's going that's my same Elliott this is gonna get we can we can work on it oh thank you thank you very much names you hit a man how's that You hit a man. How's that? You hit a man in his knees. He goes down like a bag.

I got stoned. You smash a man's knees. He goes down like a bag of bricks. How's this right? I hear how big you make. Here we go. He smash a man in the knee. He goes down. Nope. You bring up the line, please.

Smash a man's knee. It'll be it's in YouTube for sure. So I go, we mean this guy stands up and I'm like, oh, fuck yourself. Fuck you. You're gonna stand up. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, but at you, he got up y'all on it. me. I'm y'all on him. Typical standard dude shit.

I get it. Typical. You stand up. I, I'm y'all on it you you on a me And they're pulling them out and he's like fuck they're they having to drag them out now hit all the sudden How was he? He's about 72 72 78 So was he he got his oxygen thing I'm like he might throw that yeah, that's dangerous for you No, he's he's he's late 20s early 30s. Okay. Young Buck.

Sure. Right. All of a sudden, from the left, his wife gets on stage. Comes on, somebody on stage, tries to grab the mic from my hand. And I'm like, this ain't happening. Hey, you stepped into the wrong ring. This is the wrong, please. I'm gonna make, cut me, Mick.

Mick cut me. Hey, hey lady, how do you know, Bell? My ring's outside. Stay down! Stay down, rock! She came to grab the mic to give us speech. She's, but she's four, two, literally four, two. There's little, I thought it was a little kid

Yeah, I thought it was somebody's kid Oh, so there's a guy in the front row big fan awesome guy is sick something He's just lost around 60 pounds. He's a big boy, right? He gets up. She tries to grab the mic. I go you don't fucking you don't touch the fucking microphone at some comic code thing that I think exists We touch the fucking microphone at some comic code thing that I think exists. You don't touch a man's microphone. You don't fucking touch the microphone. I just go into some- That's the one thing.

So I go into some code that I don't know if exists, right? But you're feeling the emotions as if it does exist and she just broke that code. She broke the code. So I grab a comedian's microphone. You want to go to my computer? Oh, you're just... So I rip it out of my hands and he's... His husband is like, hey, fuck it, relax, which I get. I'm not... first of all, I'm gonna touch a woman.

I'm never gonna touch somebody's wife. I would never do that. I'm not first of all, I'm not going to touch a woman. I'm never going to touch somebody's wife. I would never do that. I'm not even going to say anything really to her because I don't want to. You say, sir, hit your wife. But this big guy gets on stage and I love him. I love him. He just gets up and stands between me in this woman and uses his stomach to push her out of the way. He's just rotating her with his body off the fucking stage. And what she, what she, and he's tampering about while she's, you don't talk to my husband that way.

You don't fucking say that to my husband. Who the fuck are you? You don't talk to my husband and the guy's going, he's not talking to who's using his body, moving her out of the way and going and going Bobby Bobby relax, but you got it. I got you Bobby Don't worry. Everything's good Bobby Bobby. You're good Bobby And I'm just looking up at this guy going what the fuck you're doing? What are you? What and he's and you're here? She's and I'm just gonna push his right. He's the other guy her husband's going Fuck you relax. I go on fucking relax. Fuck you. You relax. You piece of shit

You fucking asshole go fuck yourself. And he's yelling at me, I'm yelling at him, then they start dragging him out. Now he's fighting. He's telling you to relax now. He's telling me to relax. So wait, he now, he stood up first. He stood up first.

And then, and now he's saying like, hey, let's chill. No, not the relax, like relax. He's like, relax, you fuck you, relax, you bitch. Or else. Or else. Okay, all right. Exactly, relax or else. And I don't know if you know this about me, Jay.

And maybe all you guys don't know this about me, but if you tell me to relax, it does the exact opposite. You don't relax, do you? No, it's the exact opposite. Yeah, I tend to take it that way as well. Yeah, Juvie Bobby came back. Don't fuck a relax, I'll fuck a relax. I'm, you put a switchblade.

Yeah, that's the comic code. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no There's a lot of people who don't touch the mic. You don't touch the mic. And you don't say relax to a comedian. You don't tell us to relax. Well, he's heated. And keep your fucking feet off my stage. And if you got your guma running up on my stage, she becomes a man at that point. I got to take it down. All right, I can take her as my guma.

Oh my, she becomes my guma. Oh, she has to go down on me. Yeah, the woman jumps on stage. You should be allowed to grab her tits and pussy and stuff. Jesus, J. I mean, I don't know. I think we got to work on that. It was having a meeting on the putsty. You can't fight her. No, you can fight her. You can't fight her if she comes on stage. Well, if you have a six four big guy, you can use it. Right. The grounds when she's four foot two, but she's trying to attack you can pick her up by the pussy hole and kind of place her back into her seat. Like a lullaby puff.

Yeah. Like a fuck yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yep. Oh my gosh. I was like, yup. So they start dragging him out.

Now it's going nuts. Now the blonde lady who started this whole fucking thing with her fucking her Dutch. I don't get sarcasm fucking attitude. So the person who started the shitty behavior, she's, well he's still the guy. The nice guy, the decent shit. The nice guy got up and walked the fuck out. He just, he was cool.

He got up, walked, she went with them, they're gone. The girl who started it. The girl who started it. Walked out with him. Walked out with that husband, right? Now the guy who was on the phone with his wife, right, who really was kind of, didn't say shit, she was kind of twatty, but whatever.

Oh, here's another thing. Who got on stage? The shitty guy on the phone, his wife. Yeah. The nice guy and his wife at that point left. Walked out. When Dino said you gotta go, he got up and left. But here's something I forgot.

Another comic code that we have to add into the... Lou please. You don't have a telecommunication. Go. Go back to your funny. Go. Do you... Go back to funny. Make... What do you want to make me agree? You make me angry with you. That is the thing. Alright, do just do your jokes. Do your next joke.

That's what she said to me. When I told her to shut the fuck up, you got to stop talking. She went, yeah, just do your jokes. Go do your jokes. Do your next joke. That's what she said to me. Like, when I told her to shut the fuck up, you gotta stop talking. She went, yeah, just do your jokes. Go do your thing. Ooh, that's what I lost it. I forgot, that's what I lost it. Uh oh, you got the wolf out.

That's, when you treat me like a fucking, when you treat me like a monkey, monkey, clang your bells, do a trick. I know, yeah, you're here. That's why I said the worst feeling from an audience. Yeah. That you can have is the audience feeling that you're doing, like not that they've come to your show, it's that you're performing for them.

And that's, I've had that where, you know, there's only 50 people in an audience and 40 of them are a group and everything you say, like, and it's like, you did me, yeah, you know, it's like, and they're just like, they act like you're just a jerk off doing whatever you do. That is, when she said, when she said that, ooh, I'm wolfing out. She went, she went, she went, she went, turn around, just do you, just do you think, go.

I go, you don't fucking, you don't fucking tell me what to do. With a dismissive hand motion. With the motion. That's another rule. No hand motions. Also, the code. Don't hand motion me. Give me some code, Luke.

You do not motion me with your hands. Don't tell me with your hands to do anything. Rule number one, don't get on your phone. Rule number two, don't talk softly. At a show. Number three. No hand gestures. No number four, you don't get on the mic.

Thought it'd give me a wrap it up sign with your fingers. Rule number five, you never fucking ever tell me to relax. And go back to my jokes. Oh, man. Buddy. I'm pissed. Oh yeah. Hang on.

There's only one thing it's going to get me out of this kind of fun. Can we just get a two second PAP UP. Sure. What was that? I don't know. Was that my insides? I'm gonna own it. That was my throat. Okay. Yeah. I was like, was it me? Am I dying? It was a guy at blue at the parking lot to get a discount on my car. Wait a second. That's not You got this. I do got this. Make us feel better. How can you make us feel better, Jay?

Well, I'll tell you how. Reminding you that Mother's Day is next Sunday, May 14th. You have trouble telling your mom just how much you love her because she's a cold lady. I do. Do you think this, that's what's crazy to me is here in a story like this, that that couple, that psychotic couple, probably as kids. Yeah. And that how are

their kids ever going to learn how to behave in a play. They're the ones to get kicked out of bars and say it's the bars fault. Like there's not understanding that they are a problem is such a bizarre thing to me with a dog. But you can switch somebody around with one of these things. I'll tell you what I'll tell you what we're probably gotten that what do we call it. I can't remember something with the C word, but don't say it here. Don't say it here. Don't say it it here you can probably make your feel better with a rose something says mama see the problems are kids probably don't love her that's right but how do you get you how do you get your kids to love you how do you how do you get your mom to love you back

how do you fix the relationship Jay I'll tell you where I can start with Steven singers 24 carrot green neon green gold dipped rose everyone's gonna brighten anyone's day, every day. It's the first of their brand new neon colored roses. Your mom's friends will be green with envy and this lady, also. That lady's friends. The fresh new colors are the perfect shade of spring green. Don't miss out on the only rose that lasts forever, just like your mom's love.

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I hate StevenSinger.com. But if she doesn't deserve that, what happens? What happens? I wish I had one, because if I had one, maybe I turned everything around. Oh yeah, or also turn the music off? You could have stabbed during the fucking eye with it. I could have melted down the gold, important or cheap. As soon as the music's over, the ads done. You could say whatever you want then.

I want to put one of those fucking 24-carat neon rows right in her eyes socket. I hate this lady. Oh, dude. Well, here's a thing is that, you know why I hate her too? Because you show net her and the guy, something about that personality, they'll never ever, ever realize they lost the thing. I feel bad for the nice guy.

I feel bad because he had to go home. He came out for a nice night of comedy, probably a fan of mine and said, let's go have, he's in town. This guy's great, let's go see him here. He's in our local club, and he didn't fill them in on how to, he didn't say to his friend, dude, get off the fucking phone.

You, this is a show, man, you gotta, don't do that shit, don't embarrass me. Let's have, well, as a, Brian, just the people don't go to, listen, listen, you're right, it's common sense for a not idiot, but a lot of people are idiots, and a lot of people are just like, what's the problem? What's, they don't go to college. Listen, I get it. Listen, you're right. It's common sense for a not idiot. Yeah. But a lot of people are idiots. And a lot of people are just like,

what's the problem? They don't even see like, what's the big deal? I'm not bothering you. No, they feel like they're at some bar and the game's on. I get it, but here's the thing. I adjusted it.

I let you know that don't do that. Now you know, dude, come on. Yeah, I got you. I tell you not to do it. I gave, we made a joke. We had some laughs. Move the fuck on, but they had, their egos, they had these fucking ego. Yeah, this guy's not gonna tell me what to fuck to do. I'm gonna do to do it. We made a joke, we had some laughs, move the fuck on, but they had their egos, they had these fucking egos.

Yeah, this guy's not gonna tell me what the fuck to do. I'm gonna do whatever I want. Even though you're going like, this is kind of like the way it works buddy. And I don't even know if those two couples were together. Yeah, but I assume they were though. Okay, for the story, they were together, best friends. They're shitty people.

There's a swingers group. Yeah, they swing. And that's destroyed now. No one's fucking after this. I wonder if the The guy's getting married is actually saying what am I getting into what are my marrying now? I bet he does have a thought in his head now from that night. No, I'll do that. They probably thought they were thickest thieves I don't know Oh, you think the one the nice guy with the girl who wasn't into it. Yeah, the girl

The troublemaker the first one with the girl who wasn't into it. Yeah, the girl, the troublemaker, the first one with the guy, the fiance, he might be like, what the fuck are you doing? Maybe, maybe the one that you're having the relax fight with. No, that's the other one. The friendly guy. Look at him, I'm spending again. Please, I need the characters one more time. We have the guy, I think you had a hair lip.

Sam. No, stay with me. Table four, guy on the phone, hair phone hair lip little mustache brown hair, right? Brunette wife next to him next to them blonde lady, Tawati guy blonde hair guy kind of bald good guy Right good guy blonde hair lady the blonde hair lady stuck up for the hair lip guy Right and it's nice guys wife. Nice guys what fiance nice guys fiance sticking up for this guy like he has to I'm just joking. It's a fucking joke. He's on his phone.

Fuck. That's bitch. Right. He me and him. I'm trying to bond with this guy joking with him going, Hey, you don't have to marry a blah, blah, blah. You can get out just still time. It's not, you know, you're fiance she fuck you. He tries to I pound him. I go, dude, good luck. You get married. Good for you. I that's what you do. The fan. You say something your feelings. She fuck you. He tries to I pound him. I go do good luck you get married good for you I that's what you do the fan you say something fucked up and then you go I'm kidding. It's the fan your turn the fan. I'm pounding she grabs him and says don't you fuck don't you shake hands with that asshole What he said about me right and he's like what the fuck it was shocking anger?

Yeah, it was just too much and then you come back to phone guy who isn't stop. Yeah, it's almost like she acted like we were at a McDonald's and I was saying shit like this. Like I'm just some random fucking guy. Yeah, not like a stage show that's this kind of thing. A stand-up comedy show in a fucking storefront in Point Pleasant on a Saturday night at a bring your own booze place, right? With fucking Italian icons on the front. Although TV's Luke and Laura are going to be there on Sunday. Sunday, Sunday afternoon they're doing a. Although TV's Luke and Laura are gonna be there on Sunday.

Sunday, Sunday afternoon, they're doing a show. Yeah, Luke and Laura. And there's a burlesque show after that. And then a burlesque show. And then there's a trans show after that. And then brunch with Trannies. It's also a thing. But story reading with Trannies too, at 10 a.m.

Yes, and then Maless stations, 9 p.m. And then, so what happened then? so she's on the stage he's muscleing out this guy they grab him he goes nuts they grab him now because it's Jersey hair lit all the all my fans get up they they're fucking like yeah yeah buddy this was like soul jules dude dude so the fucking place gets up and they just drag now the guy hair look I slapped Dino's brother in the face. Dino is the shit. Dino's an older guy, they're both older Italian guys,

but they don't fucking take shit, right? They grab him and fucking fling him, fuck you, you're gone. You're out, they throw him out on his ass. A nice physical throw. But all the rest of the place gets up and goes out to do it. So like every alpha male in the room is in the street right now. Mm-hmm. So I'm inside with a Bachelorette party and, you know, a couple older couples in the room, right? And we shouldn't play that. Probably should play it. Yeah. Call it in here. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if I can but yeah

Look at all the guys All the guys come out after me and this guy still come look at this guy look at that guy's like Look at all these fucking dudes coming out look at another one dude. There's a woman. I'm in Dude, it's coming out. Look, it was another one dude. There's a woman. I mean There's one of those days. Oh this fucking dude. That's hilarious dude. There's Fiffy what are you doing? You're just on stage Yeah, I'm on stage look at all these guys coming out. That's hilarious. This is fucking great Look at them all I mean these are I fucking love all of my fans. I fucking love all of you I and they all came back to Seoul Jones. They pulled me in Lewis off when they go don't get in trouble guys

We got it I was like damn dudes the fucking best fans in the world. I mean look that was like a football team came out of that place Yeah, and then as soon as they walked out another two couples just took their place and they're like dude Just go we're good. Do your jokes Do your fucking jokes? Give me the microphone do your jokes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, of Handi-Capt children. I'm like, yeah, I'm not you're literally just hearing like two words It was when I said the word I used to have the joke about saying the word did I do it on the special? I don't think I've ever done anything yet. I don't I was supposed to be on Netflix. They made me cut it Okay

But it's just because of the word retard. Okay, so Gura said the word retard it caused a bunch of shit Yeah, so they just made me cut the joke and you also had a tranny joke in there, which was fine Christine, I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm gonna look at you Jacob when I say this I don't think we say the word tranny trans the joke actually has that word in it my joke is all about tranny About the word tranny My joke is all about tranny. About the word tranny. About the word tranny. But almost the same thing with jokes about the word

reads about saying like, the point of this joke is saying that I understand why this guy heard the word. Like I assumed, if you get upset hearing the word retard, that it's because it affects your life in some way. Somebody said I assume he had a kid or something. Yeah. So he sent to the show a letter, right? It was a guy, a written letter, or was an email

that had the picture of it, whatever it was, it was like, you know, fuck you basically. And a picture of his daughter, and she had Down syndrome, and it said, so when she hears that, should I explain to her that it's just a joke? Because I said I wrote to him, well I'm sorry, when they told me he wrote instead, like, you know, he was complaining about it. I was like, I assumed he probably had a handicap kid.

So I was like, oh, let me like, I'll say I'm an apology, you just be like, I mean, sorry to mean to bum me out. Yeah. So what I said, do I just go, what do you mean to bum me? I go, we're just like talking off of the cuff. I go, sometimes, you know, we hit a nerve, sorry man. It's just a joke.

I'm not a good person. My apologies if it bummed you out. Just like any, any sent back a picture of his daughter and he's like, should I explain to her that it's just a joke? And I'm sitting the joke. I go, I mean, you could try to explain it to her, but it doesn't look like it. She's going to get it. You're a daughter, you shite.

But this lady was like, you're making fun of her as hard as your children. She made a big, big scene and walked out Even that you presented as like almost said you're not you're not you're not making me fun You know make a fun of retouch. Oh, you're right. By the way. I do say that in the joke I say I almost I said it all happened radio I'm a sort of my radio What he says in the comedy club which is you know, yeah a different space Stand by it, killer.

Here's a problem. Killer joke. I would accept that. If I say something and people get offended, okay fine, I say offended shit, I say offensive stuff. I get that. Sure. And it's cool, whatever.

This was you don't know how to fucking behave. No, yeah, this is... You're at a live show, people pay a lot of money, it's Saturday night, and they're here to have a good time, and everybody's having a good time They're a problem everywhere they go until they're corrected. I found out after there a problem at TGI Fridays Yep, they're probably wherever they go until But they're they're just actually a loud obnoxious until

Somebody if they ever get checked then there are a major problem I thought what is it telling us to be quiet? It's a fucking movie theater. We're talking in a movie theater What I think there's that kind of I thought out right after right right after they got kicked out the whole side of this room That had to look at her the whole time went good. She was fucking ruined in the show We don't look at her. Her sulking puts the whole time So she was she was ruined in the show for people and then after the show I was talking to this really smoking hot mouth Yeah, my god. Well, she was working with a mom booze being in gong gong. Oh my God.

She was there with her daughters. I wanted nothing to do with those young plump girls. I wanted those big sagging, not boobs. Working on her mom boobs. I heard that you had a sleeve, like a divorce sleeve. How'd you get your tan? Yeah. How'd you get that tan line so low on your booty?

Yeah. Yeah, just. Where does your goddamn nipple start in regular titty begin? Oh. What's on your stomach? Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Your nipples resting in your stretch marks. Don't gang on gang. Your belly button's So big I can put That's why I love your big titties that got zits on them You nipples a chewy like a piece of girl Working with your mom Boone really makes me come

I love my Mom boobs are the mom boobs I like mom boobs. I love a my boobs. I'll pick up a pair of my boobs. One hangs lower than the left one. Once a bee and once a double bee. I can pluck the hair off your titty hair. Your nipple hair comes in dark and and long I see them whiskers, they're gray and brown

Girl, I see them whiskers I can see them whiskers whiskers whiskers whiskers Hey, my turkey, Top Deck Working with, mom boobs. Case you get packaged here on the show, mom boobs. You don't mind walking around with an aluminum can for a wall of mom boobs. We know you don't have tap-pots cause you don't have to be peered anymore. Mom boobs, you still buy your makeup from ride-hate.

Mom, you ain't have tampons cause you don't have you peered anymore Momboops You still buy your makeup from Rite Aid Momboo in hot and cold cause you're pre-man apart You wear a momb in the moss and shirt out for fashion Momboops You take a painting class out of momboops You still got little pom-poms in the back of your socks We're working with you, my goodness. What, what's that? In a half hour that you left the girl alone.

Like how come, did nobody from the club tell her to shut the fuck up? Well here's the problem, what I have to give the club and it happens with guys like me and Jay and, we talk to the crowd. Yeah, they don't know. So, see, they don't, they don't know. So we have a tough spot.

It's a tough spot for them to be in because it's like, I don't wanna go over and ruin the fucking show and then they go over and go, you guys gotta go and like, no no the good you know that so it's I get that but here's the problem. For me I usually have a hey I don't when I say shut the fuck up it's too late so you do it ever the fuck you got to after that right now ignore it I will ignore people being kicked once I go shut the fuck up you know but after the, I went over to that mom boobs and she was like,

yeah, what did she say? She goes, I was at the restaurant with them before the show and there were a fucking problem at the restaurant. So they were at a restaurant being a problem down the street just being assholes to people. So it's like, you know, it's like, whatever man, I get it, fuck off.

But you know what, here's a deal without you. Don't get violent, just get up and get the fuck out Say say whatever you want to say to me say some shit about my mom Talk about my fucking fucking face say I suck whatever just get the fuck out get up Say a shit get the fuck out. You don't need to get violent. You don't need to fucking Nobody gets get hurt over this bullshit. It's jokes you fucking lose it leave if you don't like it just leave just get up and leave you know bad personality those kind of people are too I've noticed and I've done this a lot and it's fun to do like you say you let them go then you shut on them afterwards

yeah I don't do that what I do especially if they're just trying to leave quietly but it's it's a fun little experiment to see how people are because if someone's walking out of the show and it looks like they're not enjoying it, not just as they're kind of like, oh, this is not a thing. Yeah, that'll, you kind of won't even notice that those people leave. Luckily, they're going to the bathroom, it'll disappear. But when someone's just kind of like, I'm, we're getting out of here, like, I always kill them a kindness because I do understand if someone's not into it.

Fuck it. Of course, I'm not for everybody, of course. So when someone's leading, I'll be like, I'll ask, I'll be like, is it like too dirty or whatever like that? And they'll be like, you know, and they'll be like, yeah, I think, you give them a chance to almost be like, no, I get it, I'm sorry, I know I'm not for everybody, I hope you guys had a good time.

And you just like, I've still have to be like, because you're a fucking piece of shit actually. They can't help it like you just it exposes them so much because like They you they need you to be a villain to justify why they're walking that they're not walking out Just kind of like the only people I've ever had that when I did Utah the first time More it was not I didn't draw an. So it was Mormon people in the audience. And I knew that and I was trying to do as clean as I could. This is 15 years ago. It was trying to do as clean as I could.

But I still had some things in there. And those people would leave and I'd be like, oh, you'll leave it and they'd be like, I'm so sorry, we're just like not allowed to like, and I'd go, I'm so sorry. And they'd be like, I'm sorry, you're really funny, but we're just like not really allowed to do this. God, I got it. God, I get it, I'm so sorry. And they be like, I'm sorry. You're really funny, but we're just like, not really allowed to look at this.

Got it, got it. Don't even argue. You're absolutely, they're not leaving. You're a piece of shit, they're like, I can't hear this. I'm not. Jimmy, I like when I see people leaving because that means I'm doing the right thing. Yeah, yeah.

Because if everybody, if everybody's like, this is, I'm corny. I'm corny, right. So, but I gotta tell you, after they left, all the people came back in and I finished my set and it was great and fucking standing ovation. The crowd was fucking awesome. So I do wanna give credit to all the fans that showed up

and had my back. And then come back and reconvene and get back to a show. And get back to a show. And get back, yeah, it was weird because you had that transition. Of course. Because there is a point where you can just talk about it too much. And get back to a show. And get back, yeah, it was weird, because you had that transition. Because there is a point where you can just talk about it too much. I've done that a couple of times where I'm like,

fucking people, man, you gotta, and they're like, hey dude, now actually let's do some other stuff. And then they're like, hey, keep going. They go, whoa, whoa, whoa. Somebody must not have told you to code. There's a code, now I'm fighting you. I'm just like, I'm fighting everybody. Hey, that's funny, go back to your jokes, Bobby. There's a code now fight you fight everybody

That's what he goes go back to your jokes Bobby goes hey wait I appreciate what you guys just did for me, but but you deny his hand motion don't use a hand motion Don't tell me like I'm a monkey boy Now I'm gonna have to fight you you break a man's knee drops. It's like a thing That's not it. It's not yet. You break you break a man's knee drops this like a thing. It's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Blue, what's that? What was that? What was that? Black Blue is the minister of soul on the bonfire. Do you think mom boobs has a chance? No. Ah, a bar.

You don't think mom boobs has legs? You don't think mom boobs has boobs? Working with mom boobs. Mom boobs. Black Blue doesn't think we have a chance. Why do you have so many green veins in them, shits? Mom boobs. Love veins.

Why do I love Vainey tits? You know she's seen things. I like Vainey boobs. You know she's human. You fucked too many robots. I love it. I love a Vainey boob. The blue is right. I don't know why I like a fucking mom boob. Cause it looks like it's full of milk.

It's so white. Full of milk so those veins really pop. Oh, I love it. Jake, you like a nice mom boob? No. Really? No. I think it's something to do with the nurturing you want it as a kid. Well, when you think I'm fucking my mom, what do you say? No, I think it means that it means you're nurturing you want it as a kid. Well, when you think I'm like, my mom, what do you say? No, I think it means that it means you're hot for your mom. Oh, well. Because you're not fucking here.

Don't be crazy. There you go, right there. Oh, I love this. Mom, boom. That's like a spider web tattoo. It looks like a map I got from Triple A to get a California. It looks like the V alien. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I love it. it oh I love a little back fat too those you see the those you see there's like the like their food go down the back looks like the front of a regular size girl I don't like that I like that back to you I don't mind that I don't like it or shoulder blades are touching I like that you can have sex with that you really good yeah you can

lay you can you can split your ass on her ass and fuck her back for sure. We're looking, we're looking at a big girl, rather large girl who's putting her bra on, but her back is mushed together with back fat and it looks like another chest. It's an unflattering sex, I gotta tell you, I'm looking at the front of the, I don't find this to be an unattractive woman. I like that. I like it. Oh, look at that.

You got that clean, Lou? I like that. I like that. I don't mind this, chick. Well, can you scroll down to the, I feel like I would, I feel like I would definitely fuck this, chick. She's beautiful. I like that. I don't like the purple hair, though. That that, that, that, I mean, she's fun. I guess. I guess you're right. Yeah, that's nice, right? Me and Christine only hooked up with two girls who had wacky color hair and one of them farted in her face. So, it's not damn Whitney Cummings

It's just a silly girl. She knows that the food doesn't agree with her But she always wants to eat it before she eats pussy. Yeah, she's got to eat those vegetables from her backyard Christine you probably let Whitney go down your box, right? Well answer question Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Finally, finally came clean.

I hummed in kindergarten. Really? Yes, she did. Not when he coming, so no, no, no, no, no. Not when he comes. The show wound up being great. They really took care of me. The Friday night show was great.

The set. I love the club. I love the owners. Cad my back. The whole crowd had my back And it wound up being a great show 95% of holy god, but here's a problem I am a nice guy. I still for a couple days was like I feel bad that like that guy There's someone on the world like hates you. I feel bad. It's like listen man. They got you all wrong

But you but start they got they definitely have you all wrong. But they definitely have you all wrong. You don't have them all wrong. That's the people they are. Those are people that would do that. I would just never be in that scenario. I couldn't see myself just quietly. And an adult will quietly excuse themselves from any scenario like that you got into. I'm going to, here's the thing though, is that my problem is, is that I'm a good person, and I, I have an emotional hangover for the next day,

where I'm like, fuck, because it would have been, how great would have been, go up, everybody's, and we would have had an amazing show, would have walked off and like, thank you so much, got my check, went home, I feel great. Now, I'm thinking, like people got hurt, you know, whatever, you know, had anger, and I hate that energy, I feel great. Now I'm thinking, like people got hurt, you know, whatever, you know, had anger. I hate that energy. I hate that. That's my husband when I was a kid, because I

grew up, you know, from 10 to 15 fights and violence all like we go out, have a great time, partying, and all of a sudden we'd be fighting 15 kids. Well, is it part, is it part of the emotional hangover also like that your next day is also like Definitely in the shower or something where you're doing like Should just got to that motherfucker and a fucking some of the elbow right there. And I put a fucking done that though So for me, I'm such a psycho. I'm actually I'm having the argument Of course like I'm like dude fuck you too. My wife's like why I'm like nothing You think of the things you could have called because because this fat fucking pig wife

Years wants to keep running her fucking mouth cock suckers. What's that that's better than what I said Don't like this. What'd you say? Nothing who are you talking to that cut from last night? Yeah, I've done that I had don't think I was talking Fuck you don't fuck with me. I'll fucking I had don't think I was talking about that. I don't know, fuck you, don't fuck with me, I'll fuck him. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'll smash you right in the fucking face.

What did I do? You're in practicing. Smash your knee. Smash your man's knee goes down like a second. Yes. Yes, smash him, nope. Ha! Ha! Ha! Let's take our break, everybody.

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbomb fire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I staked.