The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jewish Special (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

@thebonfiresxm

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. SOOPY! I just realized I'm gonna uber down the legion of Skicks tonight. You drinking? No, not even that. Halloween? Halloween. You're too afraid of the ghouls that drive cars?

All those ghosts that drive those old cabs? I just, it's gonna be drunken amateur night tonight. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I, um, mostly because I love the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I go straight home that sunned down on him. Yeah, yeah, it's pagan hall of the view. I know what dance with the devil. Isn't it funny that Kurt Metzger grew up believing like,

like, if you celebrate how it's like an evil, an evil thing? You know what's, yeah, because he was joe of his witness. Yeah. So was my aunt and I would, it really sucks is on their birthday because Can't celebrate I love birthdays. Yeah, and so when I hit her with the happy birthday and Karen She's like wait on it. No, she's just fucking shove it back in my face. Shut your mouth. You know, we still got one birthday the Lord's yeah, nothing before God. They put nothing before the Lord. Yeah, dude. No Halloween as a kid sucks. Yeah, man

I felt bad for all my friends. I had a couple friends that were jealous of it, and this... But? That's why Kurt was a thin child. Yeah. That's where all the meat went to his wing. Never grew up with a weight problem. All the meat went to his wiener. Oh, yeah, dude, I had a pillow case. I brought a pillow case sometimes.

Yeah, that was how... That's what you did. Pillow case was a move. Yeah, you had one of those orange plastic pumpkins you're a chump. It's shaped bad for a... The plastic handle. Maximizing space of candy. That plastic handle's gonna snap right the fuck off.

This is gonna spill everywhere. Oh yeah, then the handle's off. Pillow cases good for... Now you've got to, now you've got to, uh, up to burden. Can I tell you what, burglars and, and smart children trick-or-treating both know? know pillowcases are good for dumping. Yeah take stuff don't dump it in. Oh absolutely. It's not a one. You can really just hold it open. Yeah that's what you're going for. It's a sack. Yeah get that sack dude. It's a nice big sack of candy. If

you have a you should get one that has the money sign on it like an old burglar. Oh yeah the money. Yeah dollars sign. Dollar sign on the outside of the sack like an old burglar. Oh yeah, the money. Yeah, dollars sign on the outside of the sack or gunpowder. Yeah, make it make it good. We're get your kid. I want to put gunpowder into a kid sack and then poke a hole in the bottom and then when he gets far away, light the gunpowder and blow up the kid. 70 Sam. I'm gonna give you some I'm gonna give you the acme treatment. I'm gonna blow up your sack. I- There's gonna be so much. Tonight's good night though, for,

it's gonna be a lot of upskirts, drunken girls sitting on the floor, and skirts crying. It's one of the worst- Beaver city though. It's one of the worst subway holidays. Oh, yeah. This is a tough subway like-

I can even imagine. When I would work nights at those, and then I have to go home, and I think i worked at halloween once cister brutal yeah this is fucking people in the train hammered and there in cat costumes of the field boulder they feel like that's why comedy sucks on halloween someone's gonna work at years to the like a fucking nine thirty show at the seller and be like

i'm a kid again you know you know i can do a joke about my my girlfriend be like I'm a kid again, you know, I can do it a joke about my my girlfriend And it's like I'm a kid cat. I'm curious about people Cat I'm a cat Yeah, the crying girl is to me the the that's the staple of New York City, uh Halloween. She's the archangel of New York City.. It really is. I wonder how I mean, it's probably the most terrifying thing in the world now to do, but how much hornball dudes thought the easy pickings of go find the crying girl holding her shoes on Halloween. Might be easy. Might be

fishing a barrel on that point. Why do you treat you like that? What? He didn't want to be Andy to your raggedy and he went like terminator. Oh my god. That's so not cool. I'd love to be right. I'd love to be Andy for you. Put your put your lipstick on my nose and cheeks. I'll be Andy for you. You should take me to raggedy. Why can't he be like, it's so funny when someone asks, why can't he be like you on like the first time you're hanging out with them? Why can't he be like you? I just have a girl that I love. The girl I took the pictures of playboy. Yeah, the playboy, the quote unquote playboy pictures. That story ahead.

Oh yeah, dude. Like, she used to do a lot. Give a little bonfire context. Yeah. Give a little origin story of why you know this place so well. Yeah, I, this girl, she was very hot. This is when you were in Philly or here? Philly.

Okay. Very true. Well, you wait before here Philly Worked in an auto body place or this girl getting ahead of myself. She asked me to take Nicka pictures of her for Playboy she wanted to submit in the playboy. I made a copy of those for myself. This is back in developing days Wait, so were you or you at were you at the developed like it wherever it was like a target? I thought you said that was a right aid, but I went there and I gave to the guy. I told the guy. I'm like, much double me down. Well, I said double me down and make two

single print envelopes though. But you know, I'm saying don't say have the envelope. Say there's two copies. It was unscrupulous to say the least. But I got these pictures over and I showed a man, Horny brain he's showed them to one person ever And it was a guy who had a crush on her who was a regular at her bar Because he worked at the auto body place at my job and he not auto body but auto mechanic place And he did I was broke and he did my rotors and breaks for 20 bucks It's great, and then he did it for that. Well, I'm sorry. I'm wrong. It was supposed to be 50 bucks and they'll do it for you. And I had the 50 bucks, but I was like, you know,

at a time when 50 bucks would kill me. And when I told him that I had those pictures, he said for free. Okay, I was gonna say anything for 20 is great. He said he would do it for free. I'm bad, that bad with cars. Yeah. At any time they just like threw out like,

I had that for 20, I'd be like, That's great. You can really you can really fuck me You could I go in for an oil change and like well, it's easy, you know 90 bucks Yeah, dude. Yeah, no shit. I don't even know if that's I don't it's how this is How retarded I am with cars. I have no idea if that's even kind of close 90 bucks to an oil change. Yeah, it was it Some like if that's even kind of close, 90 bucks. To an oil change? Yeah, it was a, sorry. Like, if you get a gear head, if you get a, well, I have a car. If you get the, it's more expensive than it used to be.

It used to be like 20 bucks for an oil change, 20, 25 bucks. It probably starts now about 40 and probably goes up to like 80, 80 something. If you get like synthetic. So they're getting me all that, this is 05 me getting got me. Yeah, yeah. So I'm getting me all that shit. This is O5 me getting got me. Yeah, so I'm getting charged like 75 and O8

and I'm like, or O5 and I'm like, yeah, dude, that's what's up. I am a mart. You're like, what a deal. What a good deal. Yeah, well stuff like that. If someone was like, hey, I wanna get all new cabinets done in here

and they could come in and be like two grand or $35,000 and I'd be like, either wanna be like, I guess that's what it's got. This is how useless comedians are for actual society. like two grand or $35,000. And I'd be like, either one I'd be like, I guess that's what it's got. This is how useless comedians are for actual society. All I really know is like, how much you should charge for a corporate if you're doing where I'm at.

Like, I don't even know. And that I don't know that. I don't know that. Sometimes I know that, then the other times I don't. I've never done a corporate. You don't know shit, dude. Have you done corporates? Yeah, dude.

How many? Uh, probably like seven total. Really? When's the last time you done a corporate ever. You don't know shit dude. Have you done corporate? Yeah dude. How many? Uh, probably like seven total. Really? When's the last time you did a corporate? WrestleMania 2017. You did it at WrestleMania? No, this guy was like, he was like, I'm a fan of billions, he owns some like app

or whatever, he's like, I love his stand up too, will he do stand up? And it was at the, not the Soho House, what's the other one? What's the other one? Like secret society castle? I'm not sure. It's like Soho House and then there's the only one I know. There's like another one. I don't know what it is. It was the other one.

It was the other one and they're like, we're going to be having dinner. It was a total like, I ate in the hallway. They were like in this big dining room, and they were like, I was like, listen, if I'm gonna do stand up, I'm only gonna do 15 minutes. Like I'm not doing more than it, because around minute 12, it really, you're like, oh, this is. Yeah. You know?

Sucks. But it's good money. Yeah, I did. Incredible. I guess I did. It was a corporate one of those boats that seemed like the Comedy Cellar cruise and shit, one of those deals. Yeah. For like one company, I did it. a corporate on like one of those like boats that seemed like the comedy seller cruise and shit One of those deals. Yeah for like one company. I did it. I do it. It was awful. Wasn't that much money either. Yeah This was like when I was still living I think I just moved out of the window this room. Yeah, so I was like

I got I've really supplemented my income here. I got a window and I was buffed the reason I say WrestleMania is because the what they offered I was like oh I can buy a new TV Just like weeks before that Joe list was over to watch a 30 for 30 and he was like you have fucking three jobs in the worst TV Out of anyone I know you like I like a 42 inch He's like what the fuck are you doing and so then when they offer me this corporate? I was like dude, I'll take that and I can buy a TV for WrestleMania. Hell yeah. So those child like drive.

But I don't even know that. Anyway, so this guy tells you he'll give you a free. I'll do it for free. For bros. You know what's funny though, with pricing stuff? I have a pit of that for sure. Yeah. But something of pricing, like if I look like Zilloporn stuff,

sure, I'm looking at apartments, right? Yeah. It's funny. You see like a beautiful, just say like thousand square foot, two bedroom apartment, right? And then you see that for like eight grand, roughly, right? These things are kind of going for some of them, beautiful. And then just somewhere like a few blocks away,

there's like a very similar place for 5,500. And now you like, well, I'd want to go to the 8,000 dollars. The 5500 dollars seems like it's too, which is crazy. Red's still high. But you're like, it seems like that's not going to be good now. You know, I mean like the 8,000 dollars. Why is that so much better? You've been tricked into thinking that's what it costs just in my mind I'm a same thing if someone goes if your first quote is like 13,000 dollars to do cabinets in your house Mm-hmm, and then another person comes and he goes now we can get that done for probably like five grants when you be like What is that like eight grand difference? Do you know? I mean like what are you what are you skimping on I think too many But they're but you're probably wrong

It's probably just someone being like, this is a normal price and someone's trying to over price. I think that we need to let the people who know stuff be the more vocal ones now. Because I think like people like us, we're such voices, we're just like, I don't know. I know, you know what I do know is PlayStation 5 is fun. We're just little big bitches. I need a man in my life

Yeah, dude. I need a callous man. He's be like don't listen to that. Jacob you do enough stuff. Jacob's online From his protective layer his sort his fortune to solitude Jacob you there I'm here. Hey handsome. You're on your moon base. Hey moon base. You know how to do a lot of this shit. Yeah. So you need to be more vocal young man. I've done some cad in it work. Could you change your own oil? Yes. You could change your own oil. You could change your own oil. Yeah, you could change my own oil. I mean it's only a screw you got a we are such we are such the children of women Yeah, how about spark plugs and filters can you do that? Oh, here we go Filter yes, I haven't done spark plug, but I'm sure I could you're halfway there to a two-up

How can you do that Lou? No, but I know what they charge for it. Well, I did that car. I know the bus costs up the ass. A whole lot of bullshit. It calls me up the ass. It's what it costs me. It costs me a half a week of this shit. Can you guys change a tire?

Yes. I can change a car. I can change tires. Okay, that's good, then. Yeah, I've changed many tires. I have change tires. Yes, I can change tires. Okay, that's good, then. Yeah, I've changed many tires. I have changed tires and it, uh, I think I do a good job at it too. I do. I can.

I'm not pit crew fast, but I can get it done. I don't know how fast I've got to hear me cuss a lot and sweat extra. Well strong helps in that. Like being a big and strong part, like it is harder for a girl simply because of like lug nuts and all that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? It can be a pain in the ass. And then putting the car on. If you have, I've had one of those,

I've done it on a highway, which is so dangerous and I'm like, but I've done it on a highway with one of the ones where the jack is like, it's like thin metal. You know what I mean? It's just like you put on the right spot, you crank it, but it's like, it's very hard to crad, I mean, it makes it obviously you couldn't lift a car

on your own, so it's obviously much easier than that. Yeah, but like it's pretty, like it's to stop every couple twists for your hands, you know what I mean? And like that's gotta be a nightmare for a little girl. Oh my God, if you saw a lady just having an easy time with it. Yeah, she could arrest me. Dude, she'll get some lady. Rip your cock off like a champ.

Throw it at your face. Yeah dude. She'd fucking rip that thing right off your body. Anywho. God gave me the break job for free and then immediately told. Not her. I begged them. I was like, don't tell her you saw these.

Wait, did you have to show him like? Yeah. Oh yes, absolutely. I held this. help this is away before phones yes and so you do you go Jacob well you said you showed it to him why would you say don't why would you even have to mention don't show it to her why would you not don't show it to her don't tell her you saw these she doesn't even know I own them how oh yeah because you did the secret cop. Yeah, so I'm like, don't line CC. So I'm like, don't tell her that I had them,

and I showed him, and he got, he knows her from a bar that she worked at, and he just got a crush on her. But did he know, did you know that before you showed him? Yes, we realized while he was doing my breaks, that he's like, I hang at this bar, I go, my friend works at that my breaks that he's like I hang at this bar Oh, my friend works at that bar and he was like oh man. She is so like she so I'm like Yeah, she is really hot and then I was like it wasn't him

I wouldn't say like oh I did these pictures over I was like They're in the wrong completely flat out was like If I showed you a bigger picture ever would you do the breaks for free? Oh you came in as a bartering Yeah, and he was like oh god dude. Yes, I mean you know It's crazy is you never think they need to teach that in like in like classes in trade school Where someone's gonna be like also a guy's gonna offer you Girl you gotta say no you gotta make the overhead hit sucks. I know Pictures you gotta say no, we got to make the overhead hit sucks. I know

It's time thing but because he goes there. It's not fair, but what is also a guy that like you did a photo Essentially a photo shoot with her. Oh, yeah. Oh, full thing was it lit? How was it lit? How was it poorly? So the pictures weren't great. I Nothing in my mind thought these pictures were gonna get her in a playboy, or that was even the path to take to do it. When she got naked. By the way, she is hot. So if she sent them off to playboy, I mean, I say they would call her as much they would call anybody.

You know what I mean? Like it didn't matter, but they were not like pro pictures. In your meatballs. She would have gotten to beaver hunt. Remember hustlers beaver hunt? Ha-ha-ha. Dude, that was one page in every hustler. And it was just like, you know, Jen from Illinois, just like, you know, stretch marks, but flat stomach still showing her box. When she got naked in the room, were you like, yeah, no, I had to, buddy, I had to keep

it real. You know, like, I'm like, you check in the camera. I'm like, what is this, you know, we probably do this. We probably do this like a 35 millimeter head. You jump away, buddy. Not only it was, was it not a way to change aperture. It was, it was a cardboard, it was a cardboard disposable. Oh my God.

So you don't even know how they come out. I'm just, I know what I'm taking a picture of. You hit her with a codec? Yes. And you're like, listen, I just feel right here. Yeah every picture You go this is really sexy stuff. Yeah, I mean real and she was like, you know And I was like I don't know if you know in that one picture the girls are kind of lifting her leg and holding it up With her hand and then it's just like a complete

We share down the barrel and I was I was like, yep, that's a good eat. No, but I kept it cool. Was she, was she completely naked? Yeah, yeah, with like accessories and shit on, but yeah, complete, yes. What accessories like naked? Like a giant, there was a lot of giant chains and now bracelets.

Now this is like, this is like the 90s. She was like, like stockings, like, like thigh high stockings, maybe or knee high and when you would you remember it's been so I mean, I threw them out which is the end of the story where you like 10 you know 10 photos in you like Do you want to do you want to do a different costume? She was the tell in my life though that I'm not a while. I may have been a creep in that scenario for sure That I was like I make pretty good choices in those situations, because when I first started comedy, she went down to me to Atlantic City.

And her friends came, I did a show with Voss. My first time meeting Voss, I think. I was very excited to meet him, so I knew him from deaf jail. I remember that, and then drove, we drove back from Atlantic City, just me and her. Yeah. I don't know where her friends stayed there or something.

And we went back and she was like, conked out drunk in the car. Sure. Conked and pretty much sleeping the whole time. And we got back to her place. Like she could barely move. You know what I mean? And she was like, you know, could I help her inside?

And I was like, yeah, and then she was asking me to like stay. And like, sort of like kiss it, but like she was so out of it and I just like, I just loaded cover her up and left. Yeah, that's the only way. But I was like, but I was still a virgin at that point, I think probably, no, no, no, that's crazy, I was doing comedy, no, I wasn't a virgin. So you know what, yeah, she maybe caught me

when I was like 16, 17, I might have been like, I'll stay, are you sure you should be like this? Is that woman still alive this woman Sounds like she would have walked into she's just having photos shoots with disposable cameras. She came she became What I sort of expect she became like a goomba wife nice, you know, I mean you know We all tam fake boob she ended up getting fake boobs dude. She has to that girl's got stories of like going away with That was the funny When I brought I brought her with me and me and kev did one of those black ski trip shows. Yeah, I

Think I told you this in the show before but she went with me on this gig and I was like she just got her boobs on And she had showed them to me like right away and I was like I think she just thrown the signal She goes I go it's an overnight gig. Yeah. We're all in a room, one room. Or I mean, she's in a room with just me, and then we get up there, and I'm not necessarily feeling the vibe at all. Yeah. And then in eight seconds of being in the hotel room, she goes in the bathroom, which I probably an excuse and whatever it is what it is, but she goes, She goes in the bathroom, which I probably an excuse and whatever it is what it is, but she goes Shit, I got my period and And then just said that whether she did or not I have no idea and then the rest of the weekend which is me and her watching stuff on TV and

I guess we had to share room because Kev was in the room because Kev was out there. I mean just Room the room he's like they're sucking dick in 513 and he just comes in it gets a condoms and run back out You just come in the room guys too much buzzers black skit your shows were orgies hotel orgies And he was just coming in the re up and like drink juice and then go back. What you guys watching? He's like watches with you for two minutes Yeah, he's like what's this matrix? He is the one by the way. Yeah, that's crazy man. Oh, one's zero.

That's our assy ones. Bam. Five or 13. Bam. It's like a pack of five or three. Bam. Um, he just kept coming in the reup condoms. I swear I was so funny and he was just fun.

And I was just saying, I mean, of course, much later became, not even much later, after it was fodder for laughter a lot, then busting my balls. Yeah. have you just being in there with a just bringing this chick who clearly is just not into me like that It's a friend, you know, I mean different but like but the nude photos that photo shoot that moment where the towel dropped You're like um Put damn did I hold together? Okay, I made it seem very at least I thought in the time I was like I have to make it seem like this is so, just not a big thing so she's comfortable. What I do, I photograph noods all the time.

Like, it was like, it was like, accepted being her gay friend. Yeah. Yeah. Being a photographer that does noods, you have, I will, like, the young adventures of you of learning how to do that of being like, all right, well, let's, let's see. Any job you have where someone gets naked in front of you, I'm interested in how you

learn how to be okay with that, like doctors, even doing your residency where they're like, let's get those pants off you. Whoa, okay. Well, she was an example though, to go way back to what we were saying, of somebody who would do all the time, like, you know, I'd pick her up from somewhere, crying, what she's crying.

Oh my God. And it's just like, so and so, just said this, and did this to me, and it's like, why can't they be like you? And it's just like, you're like, well, I'm right here. I'm fine. And she's like, why can't he be big?

By the way, she's like, why can't you be like you? A person who is, you know, super into me and release attracted to, I was super attracted to her, you know. Yeah, but you know, I'm just like, you're super attracted to her. I'm young and I'm like, and I am falling over her. You know what I mean? Like she sees like the, she knows I like her, you know what I mean?

To some degree. So like, she's like, well, why can't I play them? Like I play you exactly I do think you've made any resistance on my dumb hot girl bullshit. It's just the truth exactly then the truth is because she's not seeing like Non-probably like whatever degree There's something in me like them at least the thing that's gonna make us in a year to be together saying one day Oh, you tan fake titted dipshit. What the fuck? You know, like we're gonna argue him over something.

You talk just like them. Yeah, and it's like, oh yeah, well, I got used to fucking you. So I think if you, if that never wears off, be worried about getting murdered. Oh, yeah. If there's no regular day. If every day's a breakfast and bed. Something's dark. Well, he's going to kill you. I just started watching I Am Stalker. I Am a Stalker.

It's like a new Netflix series that came out and it's pretty funny how much stalkers don't really believe they're stalking. They go, then all of them, every episode starts with them going, like, you're pretty surprised when they call a stalker these days. And then it's like, they're stalking they go then all them is every episode starts with him going like you be surprised But they call a stalker these days and then it's like they're like I was sleeping in her closet Yeah, and then it's really it's like he waited outside in a car and then tried to run her over and Took the kid and did something else and do something wild like that

It's like and they would arrest them for like you know attempted vehicular assault I'm still like that. I'm just gonna give her a ride. Yeah, they really do the most of the stalker, especially if it's a couple of some sort of thing, they get a visitation with the kids still and stuff. After they've done all this wacky shit. Wait, oh, when they're when they are a couple, and then one of them gets accused of when they want to get out of jail, this one of them I watched a guy got out of jail, and he's already got like regular visitation with this kid. And like they have a video of him

trying to basically kill their mom. That's gotta be, like this is a very spooky subject. But I always think about that. Katie loves, you know, the ladies love the date line. They love murder shows. True crime. I'm sure DJ Lou, Michelle's got him pumping in, you know, they always love to watch murder, murder porn and they

It's always like I want to know what those kids are like when they grow up with these stories where they're like and then You know funny story my dad showed up at my mom's work and tried to kill her. Yeah, oh, yeah You're adjusted and you know I don't I don't celebrate Halloween adjusted and you go, I don't celebrate Halloween. Like, I was always thinking about that with the first movie that made me think of that is we might have talked about it too, it's Jurassic Park. Like how fucked up those kids would have been in real life with PTSD after a transfer of stress wrecks and a fucking velociraptor, a hundred and a down in a kitchen. But you see, the Halloween tried to do that.

That's why I liked the beginning of the new trilogy. Yeah. And that's why I ended it so terrible. It was because I'm fascinated, like that kind of shit. Like your mom tries to, the stocking shit. Like, yeah, my dad stocked my mom for six months. Yeah. Or like the guy the fucking long snapper for the Eagles,

who's the magician? Yeah. His dad killed his mom. What did you think? Yeah, he was raised by his aunt. See, what's that like? What's it like growing up a Johnny Cash song? It's got to be weird. Oh, you like that? Killed my mom. Yeah. Oh, in a fit of rage. Well, you know what? Well, according to a list of the courses, can I sing it to you? Well, it's a bland old man

and he had enough. He was going to go to drinking and taking out his singer song like that. Olivia Benson did the obvious out. I just think of something like that. Olivia Benson did the obvious move. I thought she's a rape baby. So then she goes and tries to stop rapes. Yeah, well, it makes sense, dude. I'm trying to stop alcoholism. A little close to it, though. I'm an alcoholism, baby.

I'm trying to stop alcoholism. Alcoholism. You're not trying to stop. Your job's not that. I'm hunting alcohol, please. I hunt down alcoholics. We will. Change your life, dude.

I promise you, we'll need the entire, it's a little preview of Thursday show, but we will need the entire pre-record this week to talk about Shadowland. I finished it. It's. Crazy. One of the most wild things I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, if you have Peacock, there is a six-part documentary called Shadowland about how in. It's about how conspiracy theories, it's from the Atlantic, a left-leaning magazine. Sure. But they're going to make me look by it, even that lady says that. It's very interesting to watch people in real time change the narrative of what happens. Oh, yeah.

That was, yeah. You see that several times with people in that documentary. They go, all that happened was this and then they show a video of the opposite happening. It's crazy. It's very funny. It's a very, like, don't watch a... The chlorine dioxide guy, they're all so good. The lady at the border was, I told you, one of my favorite ones.

Border lady, top notch. I mean, one of my favorite ones border lady top notch I mean just like a lady with a tan freckled chest. We should say no more She's telling you how it is dude, and I'll tell you right now. This is a dream of chrome I know you've been snorting it Some of the stuff I've been using Maybe she took on a dream of chrome. I go you just stop going these lizard people parties and getting your fix off On a darkroom to go what we were saying going these lizard people parties and getting your fix off of the carom. To go what we were saying before too,

about the crying girl at Halloween. Yeah. As it moving in on like a drunk crying girl, such the easy to just be the opposite of that guy. Right now, they couldn't possibly believe that everything about you was in this one moment. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like you would be robbing if I was Batman. He's like, yeah, baby, I would totally be that. I'm gonna tell you right now, I got that served up to me. Very fast. Oh, it's gonna be that. And then it's like, but then you realize, by the next year, you know, I was still Lewis that about things, you know, he's like, you think I'm thinking about taking salsa classes

because my girlfriend's a dancer. And you're like, yes, now you are. In five years, she's like, you want to take dance, but he's like, I bet the fucking work. Like, we can't just stupid dancing classes. One of the first show ponies I ever got today when I was like, we started dating earlier in the year. And she was like, I love Halloween.

And I was like, I don't like Halloween. Since I quit drinking, I don't like it. It was a fun drinking holiday. After that, I have zero need for this same Patrick's Day Cinco de Mayo. There's a bunch of holidays that I'm like good Written amateur hours. Don't need to see you guys anymore. Halloween. I'm gonna watch a One of the later Friday the 13th tonight. Mm-hmm get high make fun of it with The cat and the dog. That's the plans right? I have a fire too is that on screen box everybody That'll actually scare me.

I'm a big pussy. I think we've established that. It's gross. But Jason takes Manhattan will be hilarious to watch. Oh, cruise ship Jason. Because how the fuck does he get from crystal lake? Cruise ship. Yeah, I know.

It's great. He's just like a fucking, he just holds on to the ship, I believe, like kind of keep. By six, they weren't even overthinking how they because I don't know if it was five or six one of those two the movie ends with him being chained to a rock underwater yeah and then they turn a boat motor on them and the boat motor haxis hole face and you see the bits of like mask and everything all over the place and then the next one they show them down there he He's just completely whole and it's a lightning strike. Yeah, lightning strike and it wakes him up on the rock

That might be no that's not the lightning one is when the guy when Tommy Corey felons character as an adult. Yes comes back and opens up the casket of Jason Start stabbing him with a metal pole and then leaves it in there one time. The last stab he leaves it in there and like, like a, it has a lectureal storm. And lightning hits it. And that's all it takes Frank Stein. Show pony though is like, I love Halloween.

And I was like, I do too. And there's my favorite. We dress up like something to go to the parade. Oh my God, dude. And she was like, I'm going to forget what it was. Hey, go on. It's my favorite. We dress up like something you go to the parade. Oh my god, dude. And she was like, I'm going to forget what it was, but she was like, will you dress up as Peter Pan? And I was like, zero chance.

This is like already by October. And I was like, it was such a big fight. It was like a six day fight, dude. I really, and I was like, no fucking way of dressing up like Peter Pan. She handed me a hat to be like, there's no fucking way of dressing up like Peter Pan. She handed me a hat to be like, no, you'll put this on. And I was like, dude, I'm not putting this on. Look at the paper airplane on my giant melon.

It looks so fucking dumb. There's going to be so many boyfriends out there that are with the rock, but you're right. A year, and I'm glad I stood my ground. Because I was like, this is like held this is a hell for six days It's the hawker will not understanding the logic of why you don't want to look like an asshole And finally like now that's over I'm like dude I'm so glad that I didn't put on green tights in like a little Green I get out fit and be like hey a little sword. Hi. I'm pan. Oh my god

Dude I would if I if I, if I had done that, I would probably... Now there's a person now that's into that. The Salvo Canada's the world for when it costs him with you in a heartbeat and goes into a thing. A good costume is different than just a hot girl. You're gonna be a part of my costume.

That is different in many ways, but a costume in general in my world, I would say sucks. I'm not into the spirit of Halloween as a thing at all. Now, we're doing that, we're dressing up on skegs, but that's like we're doing a funny thing for a show. I saw a great Halloween party. I saw someone on the way here in a Halloween costume that was great.

It was Ace Ventura when he's in the mental institution with the two two. Yeah. And he's got the shorts and the boots And the hair was all fucked up I was like that was a good costume. I just saw that passing by. I was like damn. That was good What's good costumes? What's that? What's the point this exact moment for them for me to see them and to say it on a radio show on Serious X-7 to be right you're right. He got the most burn out of that. He was possibly gonna get. I mean, it has no idea. Unless he's on the off-chancey's a listener.

You're not putting on the costume and playing like a character. You're just, what the some saying. So it's like drinking, getting fucked up as Daniel LaRusa. Yes, exactly. It's like I used to do. By the way, one of my favorite ones I dressed up as Kid Rock and I just carried around coos.

I was in college. Yeah, but you're trying to get laid. That's the thing you're trying to get laid at. I can't remember. Dude, you wanna talk about a fucking burn, a Halloween burn. There was a girl dressed as weed burn. And dressed as Pam Anderson at the party we went to.

And I was dressed as Kid Rock and it was when they were dating oh nice They're like bam here's Tommy and I was like, yeah, she's like, no, I'm just fucking Not interested. Yeah, there's there's on a hot chick. She was fucking it out. She was like, yeah, okay, bye And I was like I got courage original. I think I've said it on here, but my favorite Halloween story of all time Is Kurt Metzger's girlfriend's friends party. Yeah. Remember that to tie the story?

No. Last minute decision. Me and Kurt, you know, relatively new friends, I guess. We're hanging out with Halloween. We weren't going to do anything. And then his girlfriend Jessica, I don't know. She was always like tied into some weird thing, what weird people. Yeah.

I don't know how. But she just did and some, she meant some like, Richie, like young Rich guy, who was like having a Halloween party when I was house in Society Hill, which is just like downtown, it's like the, it's like the a cobblestone road streets. Okay.

Doesn't look like much, but the house is inside of very nice. And we were in this guy's house, and last minute, we didn't know what to do, so I put a bandana on backwards. Yeah I was already dressed hip-hoppy because that's what I wore and I wrote on my stomach thug life Okay, and so when anyone my idea was whenever I rolled my pant leg up on my jeans Mm-hmm, and I was like if anyone asked I'll just lift my shirt a little bit and show thug life and like I'm two-pock two-pock Yeah, we're trying to think of something for Kurt Kurt need something so he put on This is one of my favorite things I've all time if I haven't told you this so he puts on a

Unit hard, okay one piece. Yeah, and They do something they put like paper in the front of his gums, like so puffs his lip out, and he's gonna be Freddie Mercury. Because he already had the shaved head, Kurt. Yeah. And he looked disturbingly like Freddie Mercury. But Kurt's also wearing this Unitar, no underwear.

Oh boy. So Juan, he's got a huge pig. Yeah. So you're seeing the outline of that beefage. And then at one point, me and him were sitting over by like, by ourselves, he didn't talk to anybody. Like we didn't know anyone there and everyone thought we were weird. We obviously didn't fit in there.

Yeah. And Jessica runs off and then she comes over and says, like, Kurt, like, is it, and she looks down at this thing and she goes, oh my God, it is true. What happened was, it's a unitarred meat of cotton. So Kurt's beaver, his whole beaver, as it moved around, like, have shimmyed its way through. I do remember this.

I just had a, a Josh Adam Myers has his chest here come through his shirt a lot. You know that. Yeah, it's funny. Kurt's a dick hair can't, full bush. So it looked like he was wearing like a merkin over his unitar.

Yeah. And then they were like, yeah, they're gonna like, they're gonna make us leave. Like people were like, this boobs were hanging. They said they're weird about it. So Kurt, he didn't know what to do. And it wasn't even for to solve the problem.

It just in his panic of, he just grabbed the unitar and pulled it away from his body and watching all those hairs just go Sub back through the He immediately went away and then he was like oh All right, I fixed it. It should be fine And she was like okay, and then she came over like a half hour later again And was like Kurt and we looked down and it was all back out like we just left so it almost It was like his penis was hiding behind a little sexy silk

Scream and that fur poking out. It was so funny damn No one was upset with his dick out line now wasn't that it was his full beaver came through so funny get out of here get out of here you hairy dick asshole if you fucking man be the error of shaving bra ill you want to think of first break can I have J1 question? Yes, Jacob. Jay, well, just going back, you said you took those playboy pictures on a just a disposable codec. Sure.

And then what, you just sent them off to be developed like family pictures? That rounded. No, I took them to right aid. And the old man there, I saw him and I was seeing shit. Sure. Old picture developers. I go, hey, sir, sir I go so here's the thing

I got some newties of my face and my girlfriend uh at the time in here He devils like I was like I was like he really he should have said that And he was like you know this woman sir and he was like uh all right I go they're great I go uh you know I don't sir? And he was like, all right, I go, they're great. I go, uh, you know, I don't know what you do, but can you separate them? I go, I want to keep a set. I got told them to deal basically. I think I don't want it to worry you throughout there. Why don't you have a jail on me?

Well, then give me my own copy. Slap off to my copies. Yeah, and then bring them over. Don't damage them. I don't want any water damage. Send them over. My hysterical man, my hysterical man my hysterical Nerves of throwing them out, but that's the right. That's the just thing

Throw them out like like maybe a week after owning them Deserve times where you wish you didn't No, I don't know. I mean we don't be weird having a picture of like a 17-eight-year-old girl naked as a 44-year-old. And now, back to the bonfire with Big J. O'Coursen and Dan Soder. Oh boy. Pop in guest. Very exciting. For the last little bit of the show, everybody, his new special, Jew, which I saw a phenomenal poster you had for it. Which one?

Um, it was you with the marrying of Kanye West as the puppet on the marrying etch strings. Yeah, that makes it really good. So, so good. It's such a good one. And it says something about like we knew we'd get him like crack or something like you're working it. Control like.

Oh, yeah, get him to make Judaism so in the conversation right now, right before your special comes out. November 2nd, 3rd. November 2nd. November 2nd. You opened. That is for one of the Knights. I did indeed.

The new special, Jew coming out everyone. It's already shefear. Thanks, you guys. Thank you. I heard Ozzy is torn again with black Sabbath reuniting No, by itself though. No spreading it, but he is going by himself really. Yeah, I heard it's not good I heard he's just as spry as ever Good worse than Phil Collins

Phil Collins is bad. You see him. I did it was really bad. Worst and smashing pumpkins. Yes Well, because I'm broken shit. Here's the the thing, Billy Corgan can get through the song. He sounds like himself. You know, he's speeding through it, not giving a shit. It sounds like I'm still Phil Collins. One, they chose to do almost entirely the Prague Rock years. He did like the Peter Gabriel songs with him. Oh, interesting.

Which aren't good. Because it's his voice is Gabriel's voice. Yeah. So it makes no sense. And he did those songs and he just sat in a chair and just didn't have it. He just said, I'm gonna make like an exodus and fucking retire. Oh, fuck dude. Oh, fuck dude. November fucking second. Get your fucking diapers on because you're gonna shit. You get more like that. Yeah, if you can handle it. Dude, shove it right up your fucking funny hole.

That's right. Thanks, YouTube. Oh, man. Dude, it looks fucking beautiful. Thanks, yeah. The trailer is awesome. I'm very excited for special. You're such a shit too.

I was on the road when you filmed it, but I'm very fucking excited to see it. I know that hour is tightened and tightened again. Yeah, it's interesting to drop it off for like a year and a half and then pick it back up and then see little holes in it. You can know where I look at it for a second. Now when you watch it or you're like, I got it, I got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no like, but when I picked it up again, I was like, oh, this is set up a second way too long. Yeah, whenever you watch old jokes, I bet you're gonna feel like that when you get netted in Bay. Oh, buddy. Well, I already this weekend, I.

Do you watch a cut? I'm down to, I don't know if I even did it like the proper way to do it Because the way I was like I'm gonna get through this is Go joke for joke Okay, just like I watch it on one watch it on the other see what's better see which ones better And then just remove a lot of like a crowd work stuff and shit, but The it was it was excruciating. I'm down to the last joke on both. I had to write them and I was like, Jay, listen.

You're not gonna enjoy this. I don't know, you're not gonna enjoy this. And I tagged this manager on it too. Yeah, it's like a tell on him. Yeah, it's like the ultimate countable. I was like, you gotta do it. It's not gonna get done. It's not gonna do it.

I'm the best way that I found so far is listening first. Cause I know how the jokes are. So I don't wanna see any video. You just listen and then you then you can hear. Yeah, it's mostly what I do. Yeah, it's not kind of watching enough times and you will it's just to matter. Yeah, it's just like, oh, the first time you watch it, you're like, oh, ceases the matter, but like, man, it's too bad you can never do a special, record it and watch it at the time that you feel the way about those jokes

that you felt when you made them. Right, because now you're like, is this the most obvious joke ever and like get to you? Yeah, right, right. You know exactly how it goes. I'm like, how is anyone gonna laugh at this? Like this, this does, I almost like, it falls on deaf ears with me and it's like,

yeah, but you know the inside out of it. Yeah. Yeah, now getting to that point is, well, you got to the point where you had it ready, then COVID and then now you pick it up, run it back. And then now you've filmed it. Is there like, did you refallon love some of the bits? I was like, oh, this is funny. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot where it was going. I had to relist into the old tapes to remember it all. I got to COVID was a great time for that. First we went back and you were like, like it would be great, like three weeks into performing on the road again. And like in the middle of a set, you start a bit

and you're like, oh, yeah, and you're like, this is like a five minute thing I say. And you're like, there it is. Yeah, you forgot all about it. Yeah, yeah. I've had it, I've had almost like a reverse of that where now I'm on the road with bits that I've had for a while, like doing COVID. And I'm like, no, why am I doing this? This sucks. And where now I'm on the road with bits that I've had for a while It's like doing COVID and I'm like no, why am I doing this this sucks?

And so now I'm just cutting stuff for them like yeah fuck that but during COVID I was like Those COVID years were like the just after COVID like ended that's when the You're the fucking jets and rehab just like yeah Pretty good You're the fucking jets and rehab just like. Yeah, just in a walk. And like, it's pretty good. Hey, you didn't kill in it, you're walking. Take me. All right. But now that you're gonna release it on Wednesday,

you know, it's fucking finally like, here you go, motherfucker, here's four fucking years of work or whatever. Yeah, it's exciting. Five, five, seven, seven. Yeah, hell yeah. No, but that's a special. Yeah, that's a fucking special. Jay hasn't done one since the, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. Yeah, yeah, so it was like he did it like yeah, but it's only it isn't playing video games Yeah, no right James bit a special since fucking his daughter was a virgin

Why do you hurt something to tell you shouldn't tell me? Stuck on the lorry DJ Lou left too hard at that that no wobble J Why is Lou laughs so hard at that? What did these guys find out? That long ago. You know, my mom was telling me on a phone call recently. Mom took a daughter's Virginia? Yeah. She goes, I kept it in the family.

No, she was telling me that was, it was funny when you don't know those things, but my mom was telling me about one of my sisters, like, you know, about being able to talk to parents and stuff. And she was like, yeah, I remember when you sister like came to me and said that, you know, she had sex for them, she was terrified, she thought she was pregnant, because she thought it's just how it worked,

like if you had sex, you do get pregnant. Yeah. And I was like, what a dumbass. And I was like, how old was she? She was like, like 13, 14, I was like, oh, no, like a Jesus. Why? Whoa.

And I'm like, really that young, you're like, yeah. Like Jesus, fucking Christ, dude. You know, I can't imagine when I lost my virginity at 16 going to my mom and being like my weener hurts. I fucked I Fuck so good If you I fuck up, I fuck up, yes. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up.

I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up.

I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up.

I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. I fuck up. attention. Are you watching Virginia a little bit late? Did you, uh, did you feel bad? Like you did something bad to your parents when you did or were you way over that way over it? I wasn't thinking I, unlike you, was not thinking about my mother and father while I had sex. Oh, no. That's the difference between God fearing people and every time I Satan himself, every time I have sex, you don't think about your mommy. It doesn't count. Every time I have sex and I look off in the corner I see holograms in my mom's dad. Like Star Wars, Star Wars. Yeah it's like the end of the story.

Oh it's Obi-Wan Kenobi my mom and dad. That's pretty crazy because usually I have Ewoks dancing on me. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da as soon as I got it, she cried and I was like, so big, it was big. And she's like, no, it's a special moment. I was like, yeah, that's why I knew that. Dude, I love that you, what a blinding is because it's too big. The ripping noise. That tear from my V to my A, that's the big dick. Are you like with this special,

I'll be showing you your parents? They came to see an early version of it. Are you gonna show them this like, I mean, they'll see it, yeah, for sure. They are gonna watch it though, for sure. 100% to see an early version of it. Are you gonna show them this? I mean, they'll see it, yeah. They are gonna watch it though, for sure. 100%, they're very proud of me. And it's like, I know I'll take, I hate to come on on heat,

but there'll be some Jews who are pretty upset, but it's a love letter to the fucking religion. Do you think you'll get people that are? I think so, yeah. Do you think you're giving, it's a bit of a natural. Some people might be like, exactly, it's like, do you need to tell everybody everything?

I don't deal with it. What? Do you think there'll be people that you'll catch that initially have heat towards it, but then are like, no, actually, I was a matter first, but I like it. Yeah, because I think people go in going, what's this about? And then, because when you're at the stand

and you're doing like, or wherever you're doing a black show, can you see a black couple in the corner? Yeah. So just keep your eye on them to see if they'll laugh. Yeah, so is the rest of the crowd. Yeah, exactly. That's for safety, though. But when I saw an orthodox Jewish couple and I talk about their wigs or something like that,

I'm doing it to the crowd, but I'm seeing them see, and it's like the women are always like, you're talking about my experience. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, that's right. So I mean, I do, I didn't know. What's great about the special again on YouTube Wednesday go to our Shafir's channel. Jew it will be out the full special.

What's cool is like I grew up in Colorado, dude. I don't know nothing about Jews. I had one Jewish friend. I had like two Jewish friends. Andy Cohen and Brian Finkelstein. Andy Cohen from across the hall. Yeah. Andy Cohen.

Not that cool. Hey, Broff Finkelstein. They both check out. It's Brian Tannenbaum, but I call him Finkelstein in this, both check out. It's a bright tanibon, but I call them think I'll stay. Yeah, it's funny, the similarity in religions, I had a bit, I put out a small bit, and it was like, you know, Adam and Eve, actually, we didn't actually give a rib over to women, because my rap is always so bad that men have one less rib than women have, and I found out when I was 41, that I was wrong about it, and then all these Christians were like,

dude, I'm spining out through this clip right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that I was lied to, and that about it. And then all these questions, like, dude, I'm finding out through this clip right now. That was also like, too. Yeah, that I was lied to and that we did. I thought that we had one last room. Yeah, it occurred to me right now. Yeah, I don't know what they had to gain by lying to us all about this. I don't know.

It was crazy, like, but I love that curtain. If I grew up thinking any kind of crazy thing about a culture, they did something odd. A curtain massacre had a great joke, or he was like, do you know that scientists found out that monkeys that were also a little bit of pig like that monkey's fucked a pig and he goes, you know how I know it's true because it hurts a little bit. But it does make sense that we made out of ribs delicious delicious. Because we made Eve out of our rib a delicious delicious pork rib.

That's what he had a bit about, he's so religious too, but like, it was, but he had a bit about, his upbringing was like to Hove was what, and he was like, yeah, we were talking about it. That's how we started the show, talking about, he called Brad Halloween. Yeah, and he goes, oh yeah. And he goes, my elders always told me not to masturbate.

You know, I'm not supposed to masturbate. And he goes, do you know what happened to you if you never masturbated? And he goes, no one does, because everyone's masturbated. I know the same people who have masturbated told us that we're never supposed to masturbate. Straight life. Yeah, did you, I mean, you grew up, you know,

I mean, obviously, you, but did you ever think like, when you're growing up and you're learning that shit, and then we start writing bits, you're like, I wish I would have learned more back then, so I could have more for the bit right now. Oh, dude, I had to go back and like, relearn stuff. Yeah. I like, access, you're like, I wish I would have learned more back then so I could have more for the bit right now. Oh, dude, I had to go back and like relearn stuff. Yeah. I like access my Orthodox friends.

I'm like, hey, can you tell me with it what this, like I have a vague memory. I was wrong about a lot of stuff too. Yeah. I thought no one had rural kids. And then I rabbi in like Oslo or Copenhagen was like, hey, very funny, the whole thing. You know that's made, that's not true.

Yeah. No one had two kids and like a daughter. And I'm like, no, 40 kids, I don't know who you're thinking of, but it's not no one. That's for sure. That's for sure. In range for 40 days and 49. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know, 40 kids. I was stuck on 40. It was such a killer bit too, and I had to lose. I had to drop it. Did you go back at all to the Torah and like, Oh yeah. I went back to Jerusalem. I read with my old rabbi, we were studied for a while.

Really? A full day, whatever stuff. Now, leaving that life, it was how committed you were to the religion, and you're coming back to do a fucking comedy special about it. Uh-huh. Are you like looking at him like, this is fucking nuts, dude. I'm coming back to make fun of all the thing

that we took seriously. No, I pretended I got myself compartmentalized, but again, I did ask one of my friends who has become a rabbi in Israel. What the origin is like the verse was about how you're not supposed to have sex in your period. And he goes, I'm not telling you. And he's like, you're just gonna make fun of it.

And I was like, you're a rabbi, and I'm a Jew who wants the knowledge. You have to tell me. You pull out that part. And he goes, and he goes, he goes, I'm not telling you. I'm like, get fucked, you piece of shit. You've never respected my career. You've never respected my career. I hope you, I've never respected your life,

but I've always kept it myself. Fuck you, each shit. Is that it? Uh-huh. And that was it. And you guys are done. Yeah. Damn, dude, that's, but you're,

he's always done that demeaning. Like, you'll be back. You'll be back. Yeah, that's not nine kids. You fucking wasted your life. You know how I'm, you know I wish you could smell my finger and see what the fucking life I live. I'm telling you something.

I've had Goy Pussy and it's delicious. Again, it's not just Jews. It's anybody such a bigger conversation, but anyone who lives their life all day long consciously living it for like religion is such like a life just unlived. I can't I watch that show the patient on FX Steve Carell plays a Jewish therapist. It's a story checks out to it's a dark. It's like a dark drama show. Yeah. It's been getting kidnapped basically, but

and through it he's talking he's like thinking about his family and everything and he had a son. It's a weird thing, wife was a cancer and they were religious, but like, but Yamaka's on like Passover when they have dinner with everybody. They do a say to her still, but they weren't like orthodox or anything. And his son decided to marry an orthodox girl

and has a bunch of kids and they dress, you know, the white and black and the whole thing. And it's just like, it really is such, and probably most religion, it's such a pretty and nice whole thing and it's just like, it really is such, and probably most religion. It's such a pretty and nice traditional thing. It is. It's traditional until it becomes like crazy, like life changing, altering things,

in the name of like a god, it's so weird. It's been a turns gang life. It was actually nice. You know, what, Repi are said, dude, what are you going on? I was like, maybe I'm like, how much I enjoy the Jewish quote, just going to like a Jewish, oh, my Jewish grandmother's having a thing going over there. And you're like, oh hell yeah, you go there.

Everyone's nice and normal and just like, it's not wigs and fun, it just gets too extreme. I mean, what about, you know, you got Christians, there's like one guy who's like, yeah, I'm pretty good on forgiven people versus the guy dancing with snakes. Right, right, right, right. What do I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah opens good day across the river he has the greatest city in the world you don't know that unless you've been to every city there might be a city in the in the east that's like 27 people 25 of them are hookers giving blow jobs for the other two guys handing out nickels for you know it is but yeah there's the the New York people that are like yeah you don't know bro New York yeah like you've ever been outside of it if you can been outside then you come here that's those right even you're so. Even better, I'll tell you. If you're gonna a person who's just gonna work a job, just a job, forget like college and a career

and you're a job worker of the rest of your life, New York is probably the worst city in the globe. Yeah, if you said that cake song about how you live in small town, big towns are terrible. I don't know, Bob, like what was your name again? Because it doesn't happen in small towns. Yeah, but then small town, you're up, everyone's up in each other. Shit.

You can't get it. There's no, you know, you can't get to meet Santa Pete. There's a nice in between. Wherever DJ Lulips. Right outside of Tino. We got to find out. Do you really? Are you sure fear everybody?

I've ever second. Yeah. I'm excited. Funny special. We'll play it. We'll play it. We'll play it. We'll play it. I had the pleasure of watching and doing it do I open one of the days and it was a god damn It's such a good hour. It was so well put together in hilarious. I'm very excited because I've only seen it before I saw before

Cova I saw the hour before it so I'm excited to see it finished. I always like that now with our friends now that our friends Is this product here now our friends are big. I like seeing Jay his special I think it's the idea you know Nate Bargazzi I love when he's got a new hour like you know you see your friends you're like oh fuck I don't want to it's funny at this point you could just like if somebody's like oh is that Nate got good is like I guarantee it's gonna be a funny special yeah like you just want to see it yeah but now it's fun not watching it build you know piece by piece big J comedy dot com are you fear Nicole buyers I'm saying this specials a year are you fear Nicole Bob are you comedy dot com are you fear Nicole buyers. I'm saying this especially the year are you fear Nicole

But are you fear com Dan soda com at the bonfire SXM Twitter Instagram big your comedy. I'll see you guys I like the big J comedy comes for some of the dog. Sorry, so I can start on it guys. Don't fight You've been listening to seriousiusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!