The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Joke's On You

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Our favorite actor/musician is hitting the road in an RV instead of a tour bus that he's driving! It's the Feldog's birthday and he's off to a rough start for the Loserville Tour with Limp Bizkit. Corey also releases a new song and video that Jay and Bob watch with amazement. Jay reaffirms his love for Fred Durst and hints that the Bonfire might meet him at the concert. *To hear the full show and subscribe to SXM go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly It's getting so close When I hear limp is good I get excited for limp is good. Yeah, fuck you 90 snails. This song's at 90 snails. Fuck you My love it dude, I love the version of Keep the Faith too. Is that them? Faith, yeah. And then, but this song... I'm like Keeping the Faith by Billy Joel. Keeping the Faith?

Keeping the Faith! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Or Bon Jovi had, Doc. Keeping my faith, too. Family. I love them biscuits. I love them biscuits. I know you're wearing the red hat, dude. You're Fred Durstin today. Corn. Corn brought them out my homeboys corn Another transition in your life transition. I watched today or yesterday limp is good at a

Lollapalooza this year and it looks pretty awesome when they came out Show goddamn it bring it up and coming out Lollapalooza. It's awesome. Look at that though. Lollapalooza. You got it? Go back to the beginning. How long ago was this? Uh, I mean, 2024, probably recently.

Lollapalooza, I assume, is like a summer fest. I thought that was like a girl festival. No, that's Little Fair. Oh yeah. That'd be good if they were on that. Skip ahead 10 seconds, just push forward of the arrow button. They all look like me. Skip ahead ten seconds just push forward of the arrow button They all look like me

That's the guy do West Portland rules god bless him he doesn't care about being hot at all talk about guy doesn't mind Being hot Jacob West Portland Yeah, turn it up. This is a pretty cool intro. This is March 15. Lucy Mr.. Wes Borland Come on Jacob fly home lunatic I know man you got the hood even black loose getting hyped up for this white rap shit They were super fun we saw them on the boat. They're gonna kill. You can tell that Ariel shot of a crowd when the whole place is into it. Everybody's bopping up and down.

Because if you even hated it at the time, it's nostalgia now. I was never a huge LendVisica guy. I love them. But like, they're just when we saw them live, just there I like their their stuff's always called like we still suck you know I mean Loserville tour welcome to Loserville like the whole thing the way he dresses it's like the cool things over like it's I love it. He's in on the joke. He's in on the joke. In on the joke. And also when you're in on the joke you kind of go these songs do thump. They th They felt and you didn't have Limp Bizkit albums

I had I had chocolate starfish in the hot dog flavor water and three dollar bill y'all. That's it No, I think I mean I think I may have gotten Three dollar bill y'all's first one the guitars is crazy and the what you call. No, I did have the other one tied three So but you just kind of guy worked at a CD store for like At least one of them. I just stole it Your first what my first boyfriend oh, oh we got to hear him hit the part now Significant other significant other I had also yeah Yeah, oh Bobby, let's fucking knock somebody unconscious when this part happens I feel like shit My suggestion Oh Bobby

Let's fucking knock somebody unconscious when this part happens Oh, I feel like shit Let's fucking beat up a nerd We should start beating up nerds I hope you know what I can tell you Hey nerd Jacob, maybe you should stay home Yeah, don't come to this dude

It's fucking open season on nerds, you ask me We're gonna beat the shit out of you if you come Jacob I'm gonna fucking whale you in a second. Oh you got two more Yo Yo, DJ Lou fucking level Christine man fucking sac her ass Heat those shy motherfuckers. Yeah, Jacob get hyped dude What What

What Sucker cocks What What What Sucker cocks I Also believe by the way outside shot. We're gonna be positive for a second outside shot. We're gonna interview them at the tour Outside shot right is it outside Christine or is it pretty is it? I talked to the promotions person again, but it sounded like Sounds pretty good to go. Yes. That's pretty good. We have to Inform him right away. He goes look Cory Feldman hates our guts and It's I don't want him to be annoyed by us being here hate your guts. Hmm doesn't hate my guts

Cory Feldman hates my guts. I'm fine. I'll take the full responsibility. I Cornball. I'm just saying I could be your secret agent. I'm not the way in. I might be the way in. If Jacob probably knows that you're... If he lets me borrow that hood, I might be the way in. That's possible. You're gonna take that hood to Florida where it's useless? No, this is a New York hood. Yeah? Yeah. Well, you're gonna do any dancing down there? You can't do any dancing without it. No, that's true. I'm not gonna dance.

You have to bring that with you to all weddings from now on the rest of your life? All bar mitzvahs. All bar mitzvahs. What was I just saying? Oh, Corey. We're gonna interview them. Yes, if we get the interview then. We have an outside chance.

If you're with Jay, it's over. No, but listen, we're gonna tell the band, Limp Bizkit, that we're gonna be in the band and we're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be in the band. We're gonna be them. Yes, if we get the interview then. We have an outside chance. If you're with Jay, it's over. No, but listen, we're gonna tell the band, Limp Bizkit, that he doesn't like us, and we don't want to be a problem in that regard, but also to kind of get the wink-wink from them of like, because it's great having him on and just thinking he's murdering it. Like, you know, I mean, like I think

it'll be good. it'll be good. But what if they're really into him? What if they love him and they think his music is good? They don't. Oh Bobby, don't worry, they don't. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Is there anything more than 100%?

I think 100% is the most percent, yeah. You can increase something more than 100%, think 100% is the most percent, yeah. You can increase something more than 100%, but 100% is the most full. 100%, they are laughing. They're laughing. Yes. Is there anything out there that we, like a video or anything out there of them making,

like that we know that they're, know it's a joke, that he's a joke? No, no, no, or you lose him. You lose him. If you do that, you lose him. You lose if you do that. You lose him You can't do that. He's not good at seeing that the the joke the joke the joke is on him There's a No, no No, no, you can open with the joke, buddy. I have a good feeling he's gonna come out the the comeback king

Means so much to him. He thinks that's a really really good song Yeah, but that might that's so 2000 if you punch you better make it sting cuz I'm the comeback king He thinks that line rips. And it doesn't not. It doesn't. It's a great tattoo. If you're going to punch, you better make it sting. But if we're around them, Corey's going to be there. Not necessarily. Well, if we're where they are doing a party, he's

If we get removed from backstage, as a group would be pretty funny. We're gonna get removed from the show. Like Corey, worth it. That's worth it. Yeah. That's worth it. It's worth it for sure.

We're not gonna get kicked out of the show. It's worth it though. I'm gonna have to bring my influencer glasses. Just in case we get kicked out. Jacob, you not being there with the hood on is fucking up the day for real. Yeah. You know, I'm looking at the two of you,

I keep going like this and then like turning like this. Yeah, no. To answer, I mean, it's visuals, so the audience, but I look like a hooded vigilante. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, assassin. You're taking back the night for sure. Assassin's Creed.

Assassin's Creed. It bums me out You're not gonna be there wearing that that hood would be fucking fantastic, man Just flying and it'll keep you nice and warm on this frigid 92 degree day. It'll be Finally the old Jacob found the ultimate heat areas right there It looks like Assassin's Creed younger brother. Absolutely. And fucking Cory Fountain. What is this? This is Nate?

Oh, I don't know if it shows him in the middle. That's the best part. That's the best part. But it's you at 2017 Skankfest with the jam. Yeah, then go to the part. You'll see Nate for sure. Bargatzee was off his ass before he stopped drinking. I love driving. He was just What happened

Hey, did you so Corey Feldman and I sent this in so he's vlogging the whole the whole concert the whole tour Mm-hmm. He's backstage vlogging and So he's- Oh, we can't follow him, so you're able to follow him. I follow him. You're not allowed to. Well I am. You blocked us all.

That's great. Because he doesn't hate me yet. That's beautiful. So I sent in the stuff over to the, but he's, so apparently he started out, he's not on a, he doesn't have a tour bus. They booked a tour bus. But?

But somebody got the wrong dates on the tour bus, so they had to get an RV. Is this real? Yep. It is real, that's not like him, like, because again, it's called Welcome to Loserville. To some degree, Fred Derson, they might be able to get him to be like, hey, play along, the idea is that we're all

a bunch of like, you know, riffraff and mishaps and. Well, he has an RV that inside they made into a tour bus. Okay. So it's kind of weird. Steve voted that. But then they did a, the next video is him driving the gear truck with all their stuff in it.

Himself. Him and his sexy wife or whoever. He's not his wife, it's a new girlfriend. I think it's the keyboardist. I think anyone who will be his girlfriend becomes the keyboardist. If you play in his band, if you have sex with Corey Feldman

and you're staying at the house for a while, you're in the band. So if Jacob fucked Corey Feldman with that hood on, he would play keyboard? Drums, he'd become a drummer. He'd be a drummer, okay. So he's... I just become a fat girl in an angel lingerie singing in the background

When you be a clown and a jack-in-the-box this just came out So he's in this he's dude he's driving the fucking truck with the gear in it do you have it up Christine fucking truck with the gear in it. Do you have it up Christine? There it is right here. I'm gonna log out of us and log into me because By the way, happy birthday, Corey, today is his birthday. Yeah, happy birthday bro. Happy birthday.

See you soon. See you Tuesday. Video log day two, wait, they already did a show? The first show is the 16th. He's driving to the show. Today's the first show. Yeah. This is them.

Why the two days? He's vlogging the whole experience. They were going to tech rehearsal, and I think what it was is that they didn't have the bus in time for the tech rehearsal So they had to drive the equipment truck and now he but they also if you go to the one before this He's is this before that's it. This is before the charges before the truck. Okay, so this is him loserville 24 Video diary entry one. I love that. He's doing get VIP ticks for summer set on July 16th. We found that he's he sound like Pearl Jam We went to we went to his birthday show right over that is a three-hour Crashing extravaganza can't do that on this show

I don't know diary video diary entry here. As you can see, I am in Old Faithful, the tour bus of tour buses. It's actually the RV that's been retrofitted to look and feel just like a tour bus. However, not really a tour bus. It just looks and kind of feels like a tour bus when the AC is working When the fridge is working when the water is working, you know, it feels just like a tour bus But right now it feels very much like we're driving a what do you the water truck? No water is working. What is the water to flush the toilet? Oh, yeah, I guess we take a pee pee Don't drink it wash your hands. Take a pee pee and and wash a dish do not drink it. No do not drink it That's cool. Is it called gray water?

It's well, it's potable tank. It's in the tank. It's tank water. I mean you could drink it if you had to It's essentially hose water. Yeah, if you're in a Donnie dust situation Oh, don't us would boil it with like a match first. He said he boils with a match to the perfect temperature Okay, I found that could be sort of endearing is that the end of it no That's our security Faithful security driving us to our first destination in Wisconsin. Why did all this happen? We had a big tour bus secured and ready to go. He's always faking happiness.

Yes. He's always pushing out a smile. Yes. He's screaming on the inside. He's screaming, fuck everyone on the inside, but on the outside, we're here. My lips are tight because I want to stab somebody because we didn't get the bus I was promised from Fred Durst and company Hashtag the joke dude he is bringing that song out

I'm jealous of him though being on a tour bus is fun. He's having fun right now I didn't believe he is having fun. Well, I guess not, but there's no air conditioning and shit. And he's not on a tour bus. He's on an RV that was retrofitted to look like a tour bus. How many people afford a tour bus? They're expensive. Tour buses? Is this a video for it? Oh, hang on. Christine, I gotta see the video for the new song. I didn't know they shredded up a video. You didn't see the video for the new song?

I saw them performing it on Howie Mandel oh dude the new video is great yeah give me some dressed up all glam what's the name of this one the joke the drama looks like Tommy Lee by the way he is wearing the Fred Durst thing I think I have that barbie that the girls are dressed like he's trying to make rock music but he still has to dance that's the best he's like trying to rock he's like yeah now we're doing a little bit of harder stuff I'm still gonna dance around like a fruit. Don't worry. What are the girls gonna do if you're not dancing? Those are true dancers off a cruise ship. Yeah, who's fucking auntie is that over there? Is that black China's mom?

Oh my god, she's chubby as shit. She looks one of those security guys Yeah, it's hot Yeah, it's hot. Everybody takes a shot Say this music sucks a lot You mean the song that you just bought Nobody bought it It's not 1985 I bought it. I got strawberry records to get this fucking song.

You bought it? I fucking YouTubeed you dumb dumb No one who called you a dummy bought it Yeah nobody bought it We tried to buy it didn't we? I would buy it. Yeah the love lost with the hologram, with the hologram Corey you could put anywhere. The thing that still tortures me is that I didn't buy

the album that had the misquoted quote on it, the I cannot breathe. He changed it after I said on the air. Yeah, you called it out. The wrong quote. That it should be I can't breathe. He had it on his album cover, I cannot breathe. By the way, weird social statement

for Corey Feldman to make. Also, this is happening in the world. Yeah, that's exactly random political events. He goes, draw today's newspaper and put my face on it. Corey's life matters. Back up a little bit. These lyrics are fantastic. Wow. Well, you wear a Goonies shirt because at this point everyone's losing focus. He's doing all the cure for some reason.

He's just like Michael. The actual upsetting part of this is he thinks he... it's not that he's imitating Michael Jackson's dancing. He thinks he's doing it as good, you know what I mean? That's the thing. He's like, yeah, unfortunately I just dance as good as this guy. It's like, no, you look like a person doing a bad impression of someone doing it. He's awkward.

And Michael's been dead for 13, 14 years. Let him go. There it is. I cannot breathe. I would give anything to go back in time and buy this when I had the chance. Now it's a collector's item. You can get it off of eBay.

No, but the reason I didn't buy it because he wanted like $200 for this guy. I wasn't, I wasn't. I just bought it for him. At the time I'm like, I'll buy it if it's 50. You could have bought three hoods with that. Let's see the rest of this video. But can I just say something?

So everybody's in it. One is dressed like the lead singer of The Cure. The drummer's dressed like Tommy Lee, right? I mean, no, they're all just like doing like, there's no theme other than like 80s, like windbreaker attire. But I think their faces, he looks like the lead singer of The Cure and he,

Oh, he's just trying to put on like no he's These bases supposed to be clown makeup to some degree. I don't know go back a little bit Look at these guys the keyboard is as a guy dressed up like a woman By the way the the peak of interest in this video is the very end I will tell you when you go to the thing, you know, it's your like little mountain range of most replayed Yeah, it's the very end of this people just go to the end of it know, it shows like little mountain range of most replayed. It's the very end of it. Yeah, because people just go to the end of it. Maybe.

Maybe that's what it is. He looks like Adamant. Adamant for sure. And, well, you know Let's give a magic The Cure I'm a jokin' song jokin' Tommy Lay Michael Jackson

He's a I'm a jokin' He's just not a good singer, man Take a joker like he breaded and said sing it like me I can't wait for this song When he starts playing it? Oh yeah, dude, everyone's a hit When all the songs blow but you know them they're all hits

I'd rather go watch Cory Feldman eight times and see Jimmy Buffett one more time Cory Feldman over Genesis Every day of the week. They were so bad Genesis. Yeah, Cory Feldmanman I've only seen once and he's one for one fantastic night you don't want to see a guy depressingly sit in a chair for two hours no I want this guy now believing that he's in on the joke and he's still not Phil Collins drumsticks no he sits no he sings and went on a just a chair you play drums no wow really walk his son plays drums very well truth 22 productions truth he's still hanging on that it's called truth because you're still trying to remind people that

someone may have sucked your dick and Corey Hame got butt-fucked constantly Constantly. That's why his mother hates you. That's what everything in this song is. How angry is the guitarist that he keeps holding a guitar? It's he's he's doing the Joe Matarice bit. He's holding it But he's not playing it. He's not it's building tension. We're almost to the end What I don't... You should be able to hear all the lyrics. I can't hear any of them. Joke some damn... Oh yeah. He sounds like Michael Jackson a little bit. He sucks, dude. He does. You're right, Bob, he's trying to do that.

Yeah. The children. Oh. The children. You're right. We're almost at the most replayed part. What's coming? The end, I'm telling you.

It's just people excited it's over. Yeah, it's over. Never see the sleep again. Fantastic. When the music stops, oh, it's hilarious. It's because Fred Durst is in, but. Wait. This makes sense.

Is he gonna say something? Back up, back up. What's he gonna say? He can't just get an applause. Fantastic. Thanks, brother. that was fun. Listen, I love that you're directing this. I think it's going to be amazing. Everything looks great.

I really don't know about this whole thing. Brother, look, it's not going to be. I love you bro. Okay. Okay. He's in on it. Who? Fred Durst. That little thing, that little moment at the end. Remember when I asked you before, I go,

is he making fun of Cory? Is he gonna be? And I was like, is he? And you said 100%. You said, what's more than 100%? And then nothing. And then you went, okay, then 100%. That moment at the end, that pause.

That's your 100%. That's my 100%. That one second of, that pause. That's your 100%. That's my 100%. That one second of, fuck me, this is nuts. Right here. I can't tell what he says to him. He says this whole thing, I don't know about it. Thank you for directing the video.

Amen. That's it. We're out of here. Thanks, brother. That was fun, man. Listen, I love that you're directing this. I think it's gonna be amazing. Everything looks great. I Love your directing this I think it's gonna be amazing everything looks great Brother Going in the video, yes, what I thought he said Michael Jackson part. Yeah, so it's quite fell in on it? It's not going in the video.

He might be, I'm telling you. No, no, no, no. He's doing, I'll give him this, he's doing his best. He's trying to be in on the joke, but he's not getting it. The problem is, he thinks that is a really fantastic song. He just, do you know what I mean? If he was fully in on it, he'd go,

no, I just made another like goofy dumb song. I thought of it in eight seconds in the shower For the last 30 years he's been pulling a Joaquin Phoenix on everyone God bless and after the end of this tour he's gonna come out and he's gonna be like fuck all you what's up Jay big fan Love you comedy just couldn't talk to you cuz I was in character What a fucking moron right? I'd love that I'd love that. I'd love for that to be a trajectory.

And he could sing and dance amazingly. Oh, he just fucking starts twisting and turning. He's like, yee hee. Dun dun, dun dun. Buh-kuh-kuh-kuh. He was, so he's in the truck with his girl. Yeah, I wanna see that. This was kinda.

I wanna see the end of this one because he didn't even get to the thing about the temperature or anything yet. Go ahead. Well, that all. about the temperature or anything yet. Go ahead. Well, that all went out the window when apparently somebody gave the wrong date for our departure. Guitarist.

In fact, so the day that they had us... Constant passive aggressive twadiness with a... Somebody forgot to do the thing. Yeah, with a... He's not being funny either. a thin lip smirk on his face It's constant because somebody forgot to do the thing I'm smiling all the time But I'm gonna kill somebody on the inside because my fucking life sucks and nobody gets it, right

Are we having drinks with our meal Has Bob ever seen the... are we having drinks with our meal? No, I don't know. That was the best. When he controlled his bitches. I just took a sip of my water. Sorry, Jim. What's wrong? You don't want to drink water? The schedule was the day that we were supposed to start tech rehearsals in Wisconsin. So therefore, we decided to take it upon ourselves. That's a loud RV. He's got to really yell over that thing.

Do you see how his voice has gotten heavier? He's like, so now we got to go! This RV is from the 70s and the engine is really loud. We were supposed to have a tour bus. That RV takes regular gas. Action and tough it out and take this hotbox with a broken fridge, broken AC, broken water, no toiletries. Right now it just cuts the drivers throat. It just finally snaps and the bus just fears off

What toiletries are on? Because then you're on a tour bus a real tour bus. It's stocked with all the stuff Toiletries toilet paper paper towels You know accoutrements so when you go pee-pees you have stuff This is an RV that they hooked up with the last second I'm telling you Fred Durst probably hooked us up. Yeah, dude got fucked up. You're gonna be taking old Bertha somebody Didn't mistake Because it's got eight bunks and and a lot of goodwill

Lots of determination, that's right. So, anyway, point being we're making our way. How hot was it last night? Okay, so I drove the worst part of it because I felt responsible. He's driving. He's driving the bus. He's driving, dude. Let me see the one where he's driving. No, he just said he's driving.

He drove last night the bus. Don't you have to have a CDL for that he's driving and giving a bit of log at the same time he just said right now he drove this bus last night guys driving this long empty road made me think Corey Haim sure got butt-fucked on and that And that was a hundred and three at night going through Death Valley with no air conditioning and when I turned on the AC it felt like it was a hot hairdryer in my face and if I opened the window it magnified the hot air dryer in my face and everybody got to feel that a little bit I think but I really really hope Fred Durst is a genius and fucking sabotage his there was no there was never a bus there was never a bus this was his somebody got the thing this

was his tour bus from the beginning because how do they retrofit the inside of an RV to match a tour bus that fits the amount of people that his team needs? It does have a team, Paul. We don't have a tour bus, because we messed up the date, but we do have this RV that was made... For this tour? For this tour. Why is it St. Louis or Vill. 24 on the side? Wow.

That works centrally throughout the place, but against these kinds of temperatures you can't even feel it. So anyway, that's our first update. Thanks for watching. We'll see you again real soon. Hey everybody, if you're listening to the Bonfire as a podcast, you gotta know there's a whole second half of the show that you're not getting to hear. Look, if you love the Bonfire, which we know you do, this is just half of the show.

Go subscribe to SiriusXM at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire. Subscribe right now. Wasn't that the first show in Wisconsin? Uh, yeah. Is that where Death Valley is? No. No, they had it, no, Death Valley's in Vegas, in Nevada. He was supposed to do a rehearsal in Wisconsin. Yeah, they're driving, they're doing a tour bus,

so they probably left from LA on the tour bus RV, and he's driving. Where's the other video of him driving? Honk, honk. Folks, you see this? What's happening here? Such pissing people off. Cause I'm driving too slow. I'm driving a big old truck.

Yeah, it's a 24 foot truck. And I'm driving it down the highway with my co-pilot. Because... Miserable that you made this life choice. I guess that's the new keyboard girlfriend. I don't like that he has Oreo cookie schmuck in the corner of his mouth. Oh please. From his circle K snacks he's like, Oh, I'm sorry. life choice. She's the new keyboard girlfriend. I don't like that he has Oreo cookie shmuck

in the corner of his mouth. Oh, please. From his Circle K snacks he just got. Christine, please click her. Copilot Adrienne Skye is definitely for her. Is her. I have not seen this new girlfriend yet. Man, he does get, they're all hot.

She's gotta give him that. Buddy, she's broken. I mean, those are face tattoos and shit. Yeah, it's ridiculous They're together. She's been beat up by an MMA guy She has MMA boyfriend beat the living shit out of her face. Yeah, she just needed to go with somebody who can't take her Keep going. Is that fake though for the the music video? No, I don't know that might be fake She's wearing a hot winter hat Is that fake though for the music video? No. I don't know, that might be fake. She's wearing a hot winter hat by a pool.

She might not have any of these tattoos on her face. Look, she does have face tattoos for sure. That Liza Minnelli hair she has. Is that all of her pictures? No. Can't be. Well, there's multiple on some of them though. She just started this.

I just wanna see what she, you really can't see what she looks like very much. This is kinda weird that she just started an Instagram. Las Vegas, Nevada. Let's click the other one to see the other pictures. This is the only one that has multiple. That's just not true at all. Okay.

Both the other ones have multiple pictures. Say sorry. No. Not you. I know. She's not going to. It's okay. It's okay. You don't have to win. Say sorry. No. Not you or... I know, she's not going to. It's okay. It's okay, you don't have to win.

I don't even understand the internet or social media. You can be wrong sometimes. Which I was able to figure out. You're doing a great job. She was not doing a great job. But she does a good job most of the time and sometimes people make mistakes and when you make a mistake it's okay to go, hey sorry, Jay. That's not her deal, dude

Look at her. She's just staring forward acting like it's not even happening or being said But you're on my ass today Okerson You really are on her ass throwing 800 things to me and then telling me I'm bad at my job. Well I just told you to click to the ones that have more pictures of her. That was on the last show. That show didn't happen yet. Well that show didn't happen yet. It's Thursday you'll hear it. Well listen, in defense.

Also over here trying to find better pictures of her. DJ Lou is doing a... DJ Lou is on the fucking scratching and mixing on the ones and twos and bringing up the articles faster than you. I'm just saying. Lou is coming for your ass. No, don't make me that. Lou's told me in private he wants you off the show. Yeah, tell him what you told me in the elevator. Nothing. That was elevator talk. Oh, sorry though. I was in the elevator with Christine. Oh. You told her to her face? You ballsy son of a bitch. She is cute though. She's also probably painful young for his age and She's been through a lot. Cory Feldman isn't really a be with a girl who's all tatted up like that

She's miserable. Mm-hmm. Look at she I mean you could tell I don't think she's miserable We do go back to him in the van Do the truck driving and when he pants oh she's probably. Dude, go back to him in the van, the truck driving, and when he pants her... Oh, she's probably miserable in that particular ride. She's like, at least, oh my god, I'm about to go on my first tour bus tour. Yeah, and then he goes, we're gonna ride the gear truck through the desert. Yeah. What?

Are his eyebrows balding? Yeah. Because he's 60. Yeah. He's got sunglasses, tan on his face. I just want to wipe the corner of his mouth. It's me. I hate it I know whatever that little turd is over that little yeah, whatever candy bar. He snacked on She doesn't like him enough to say hey, dude you get something in the corner

You do free I don't know how the fuck to say Toblerone. You fucking duty free international guy you are. There's Toblerone on the clips. Why don't you say something babe? Oh, were you asleep through one of my conversations for a change? His neck is always pushing out something. Look at how tense his... When he speaks it's like... eeeh, eeeh. He's holding back fucking fury. He's holding back a lot. He thought the song, he was pretty sure the song about like, I'm in on the joke was gonna get it but

he didn't feel the satisfaction he was hoping when he made it. No, no. But he's gonna perform it. Alright, let's hear this. Complaints from the road. Making sure that I'm safe. Alright, did you see her? Yeah. Anyway, we are smashing it, getting down the highway here at a great speed. Why, you might ask, am I driving this truck with all of my gear in it? All my gear. Cause you have to. Cause you have to.

Cause you can't afford a driver. Where's the tour bus? Because you're a loser. Where's the tour RV? Oh, they're on it. The rest of the band. The rest of the band is on the bus. And he's taking a shift bringing the gear.

He has to do gear shift because the guitarist, the drummer and the bass player who are actual musicians went, hey, go fuck yourself, I ain't doing that. You know, I'll just go home and then you can play this song without guitar. Yeah, dude, I got a show at Whiskey a Go-Go on Tuesday. He goes, you know what, Corey? Actually, I remember from that video, you play a little guitar, yeah?

So you just pick up the guitar parts, should be no problem. That's when you're not paying somebody enough to fucking, to do what you ask. You know what I mean? When somebody pays you a lot of money, you ask. You know what I mean? When somebody pays you a lot of money, look, you went on a boat with sharks. It's a little ridiculous for me to drive

the equipment van, right? He goes, doesn't sound ridiculous to us. If Burt was paying you shit money, you and Dan wouldn't been on a boat. Oh yeah, he paid me enough that I would've pulled a shift driving. I'd have pulled a shift if you guys need me to. I mean it kind of seems selfish I'd assume this has AC and the other thing still doesn't. That's what I was gonna say he's probably like

he probably made like those rationales where he's like, who are you fucking driving? He goes, you know what actually I'll take the AC if we're being honest here. Sure it's got a tape deck but whatever. pulled the Justin I only have three impressions but is the the truck pulling the RV is it no no no is it an RV that has to they gave me working RV Jacob no this is his equipment this is this is like a moving van this is equipment moving truck yeah these are his fans all right and his flag this is a box yes getting to Wisconsin this is his Amazon Prime deal day fan drums

Probably three four guitars they need for this the keyboard his LED lights with little remote controls that people use on podcasts Yeah, you said before his flag fans for sure Yeah, his scarfs and hats and hoods, you know, his Hitler his Hitler hat, the other one, the Mussolini thing. He's gotta dress that fucking, that damaged girl that's sitting next to him in whatever shit she has to wear. The chick who got in a car accident in 1998 and still doesn't talk.

Yeah, that girl's seen things, dude. Yeah, she got in her car accident with Leet Singer at Warrant. She hasn't talked since she's uh oh she has to leave me out of this dude she's energy i guarantee they paid her to be there uh no i tell you this is a girl she jumped in on the moment she's gonna do the thing this is for some of this girl's age this is a blip on her radar. She'll go, I'll fuck Corey Feldman. That'll always be a funny story. You can see she's got face tattoos.

She doesn't give a fuck about anything. She's, she'll fuck Corey Feldman for a little while, so that's kind of her story. She gets to do this tour, then it goes back to jack shit nothing, and she'll be gone. What a great life. To be a hot chick, the choices you get to make.

And she's like, she goes, are you musically talented? She goes, I don't know, I get to dig noodle on the keyboard a little bit. There you go perfect. You're on tour Hey, will you suck my old weird pecker? Not every night sure I don't care. Yeah, I get sleepy pretty early After the show you say good job Why don't we just touch each other or something? Yeah, it's just what guys do man Look at my dick dude, it's like rock hard right now It's like rock hard

Fred Durst My dick is like rock hard right And then Fred Durst allowed himself to be sodomized And Haim allowed himself to be sodomized Is it gay that I would give up my tiny house to see his dick once? I just want to see what it is Oh my god, look at his dick once. I just want to see what it is. Oh my God, look at his son. Look at his son's thing.

Whose son? Corey Feldman's son. Horace Eisen. Every all's name has to be super like Yogi. And I think he definitely knows his dad's a weenus. He looks like a fucking troubled kid. I don't care. He looks alright. He's fine. He looks good right there. No, he looks all right. He's fine. He looks good right there.

No, but he knows. He knows what his dad is. Let's see, can I hear a little bit? He's the road manager. Oh, you know what? He's the road manager for us. I'm wrong. He's the road manager and you're right.

I'm wrong about that. Look at this thing. This thing says oneness equals abundance. He doesn't understand anything that's going on with his father. He thinks his dad is spreading the word. And all of these new stepmoms who are younger than him get to come in. This is gonna suck, because I'm gonna get my ass. He thinks his dad is spreading the word. And all of these new stepmoms who are younger than him

get to come in. This is gonna suck, because I'm gonna get my ass. Son, do you wanna watch your stepmother dance? I'm gonna get my ass kicked by his son and Corey's gonna beat the shit out of you at this concert. Oh dude, maybe. I hope Corey, Michael Jackson kicks you in the nuts

and then puts a hood over your face and punches you. That would be so great, I'm telling you. And then his son swings off a truck and hits me in the back of the head. I'll wear it the rest of my life. When you asked me the question, ask me if I got my ass kicked by Corey Feldman. Hey dude, did you get your ass kicked by Corey Feldman?

Yeah, 2024, I was backstage at PNC. It was fucking crazy, dude. The guy was a hurricane in teeth and nails. I did not see it coming. You were in the front row. I think you might actually jump off the stage. Oh, dude, fucking do a fucking, what's the, like a fucking Axl Rose, dude? Fucking chuck the microphone at me and then jump off stage.

I'm going to be like, come on, motherfucker. Let's do it. He's whipping his hood, you're whipping your scarf. No, and I want to say this on public record. I want to be very much out of eye shot. I want him to do his thing. I don't want to fuck his performance in any way. I don't even want him this on public record. I want to be very much out of eye shot. I want him to do his thing. I don't want to fuck his performance in any way. I don't even want him to know we're there.

Can I be honest with you? Because of the seats we get, if you don't want that to happen, you should wear a hood. I'm serious. Do you think maybe this would be all resolved by a hood? By the way, can you imagine if Amulet were wearing a hood and he goes, all right, this guy gets it. And then I reveal and he goes, the joke. Dude, if you put you on gets it and then I reveal

The reveal is wait a minute you're the guy you're the guy Negativity man You have to Christine order the hood for him get him the gold one Everyone just get him the goal we should all have I want the gold one, too The gold one in the hot sun is gonna make my head hot We're gonna be under we're gonna be under the thing and it's gonna be night time It'll be Ewoks in the desert and I heard it's gonna be breezy that night Did you hear that? That the 30th is gonna be breezy. What's more than 100%? nothing

No way. Really? You got all that just from a video? Let's play the legistus. What's that? Is that me? Yes. Oh, it's because of this. Marcus Silva sent this for Jacob and he says the flag still says I cannot breathe. Oh does it really? He wasn't gonna get a new flag. He's not gonna... That's so great. We get kicked out. I'm running up grabbing that flag. Oh Do you have to a misquote of George Floyd? First of all the fact he's appropriating George Floyd's thing at all and then a misquote of it. It's incredible What if he's like, I'm not actually talking about that. Why did that George Floyd I say that? It's the thing

Why do you have a I thought I thought the guy in the audience was saying, I can't breathe because this is so good. This music is so good. I can't even breathe. Black man is holding up the sign on your album cover. Yeah. Love left 2.0. I can't breathe no longer.

My breathing has become not happening. Breathing is getting tougher. I need my asthma medication. Breathe. I can't. Did he kneel on Yoda's neck? Breathe. I can't. Breathe. I can't. Shut up, Yoda.

Breathe. I can't. Shut up, you dirty Jedi. Oh, Corey, on you joke. Yeah. Hey, Jedi Master. Master. Oh, shit. dirty jenna record or gory odd on you joke yet he did i master master he all with uh... so

in that big truck because because somebody forgot to get the buzz on time during the video log number one anyway we're in utah before now. We're in Colorado We've been driving for about 14 You just cut off there. Yeah goes to another video. Oh Put not the same sense We've been driving about four last shit fuck you. I love that. He doesn't even know how to be an influencer He has no vlogging skills whatsoever.

God damn it. He's doing this, you know, he's doing this by himself. He's driving, uploading video, tagging people. Well, his girlfriend is disinterested, beyond all, she can't believe, she's the only one that goes, come on baby, you wanna take a ride with me? She goes, I think I'm cool in the RV. Baby, looks weird to the guys if you stay behind.

Do that be great if she just takes, she lets him on the next shift, she goes, I'm gonna sleep on the bus and everyone fucks her on the bus. I hope everyone's fucking her behind his back. God, that would be great. Is that? I think this is just him listening to music and driving.

No. Oh, he's singing. Is there an Iowa? He's singing. Oh, he's singing. Cause they're in Iowa. Oh, what the fuck is that? That's his son. That's a new guy. That's his son. That's not his girl. That's his son.

It would be funny if that was her legs. By the way, did not mind those Louis Vuitton fucking slides though. That's cool that he's out on the road with his son though. I gotta respect that. Go on, respect it. See if I give a shit. Don't turn on me, dude. No, no, I want you to respect it.

Look buddy, I'm just, you know, I think that it's cool his son's with his dad. Absolutely. He's out there on the road. Well, oneness equals abundance. And wholeness is godliness, which is next to cleanliness. The unholy will squeaks the loudest. Buddy, they don't like you.

I'm not in the game. Who's they? Are you calling him a them-they? Them-they. Oh, them they don't like me? I can't breathe. I can't breathe anymore. I cannot breathe.

Breathing has become difficult. Breathing is essential. That's not what they were. Nope. Those are nice nice though. I like those Louise so he is blessing us with video. How long do you think this is gonna last before he just stops doing it? Oh, man, I hope they have it's really I'll tell you what I like peeking in I'm a voyeur Sam. Hi did a skanks last night and I never heard he has this project called the fish tank Are you familiar with this?

He just gets like homeless people and lunatics And he just puts them in a room. They can't leave for a while. It's called kidnapping It's sort of like kidnapping, but there's a winner. They vote people out and then one person wins and gets money But a lot of them are homeless bring up fish tank like highlights. It's pretty wild. Is he the hunk of shit, Mr. Beast? Yes. And then once in a while, who does like, they said Lewis, he'll just come in with like a, he'll just pop in with a... Why does he look like a magician? No, that was...

Oh, who is that? I don't know. She brought up a video of someone talking about it. Can I just see her son? I just want to get a perspective of what his son sounds like really quick. Cory's son. Can I just hear it? The top one, the top one. All sounds like really quick. Cory's son. Can I just hear it?

The top one, the top one. All right, whatever, that one's cool. I think to the left, that one, yeah. So, I find peace when I meditate. Okay, I'm out. I'm good. Thanks. No, this rules.

This kid rules. All right, play it again. No, you're right, Bobby. He's the best. No, you respect it. Jacob, Jacob and let's see if no you respect it Jacob Jacob, let's see if you find anything out of this He calls himself Horace I Zen his actual name is Zen his father fucked him from birth with a dumbass name He had to become this hippie dippy chinless idiot

All these dudes grow a beard Fine Synchronicity in everything. Good parents. You did a good job. Fantastic job Cory. That's your boy up there talking. Wait a minute now, let's see what he has to say. His time was incredible. Can we hear something else? I'm not going to fucking listen to a guy who goes to the movies barefoot But there might be something there's no comments on any of his messages either no one gives a shit we'll be after this These fans and the last one is mom who was hot as hell whose mom Susanna's Susie's break was in the show the two quarries is she oh that's his my favorites is she in no

That's his mom where that's her she's mom is she in any of these videos that we say She just commented on the last video you what she say go back where she Shows come pick up the rest of your shit you loser What do you offer your dad again? Susanna Sprague I saw you walking uh and ignored him can we see her page please I can see what she looks like now please she still looks good yeah she's not fading I don't have any idea if that's her in the middle in the purple dress now she's not fading what's up with all these girls neck tattoos she looks pretty good still yeah she married Look at her. She married a cholo, man. She got the fuck out ski.

She married a dude. Oh yeah. That guy's got to deal with Cory. No he doesn't. Cory has to deal with him. Yeah. She goes, just go. She goes, don't worry, our son's hanging out with my boyfriend.

Just pick him up from him. He goes, I'd rather not. Could we meet in a public place or something? Good for her. Well, she kinda had her shit together in the show. She was the only normal one on that show, right? I mean, she came off twaddy, but in hindsight you're like, oh,

these two fucking maniacs are out of their minds. She came off twaddy on the show? I don't remember. She came off a little uppity, but when you look at it back at it now, you're like, oh, Corey's a fucking maniac. What's NLP? NLP it's gonna be yoga shit. I guess you bow or henna nonsense. She sucks ass, too This whole family's hippie dippy horse shit, I'm over it. She's kind of cute

No video Bobby. She'll have you out there fucking dancing around a fire with your wiener out. Yeah, I'll do it. You would. I would. I'll do it with my little mushroom cap sticking out. Just let your hog fall. What is this? This is an NLP hashtag.

Oh, so she's into some crazy shit. What is it? Twin flame shit. Good. Good. That's a cult. Yeah, she rules, Bob. Yeah, anytime you see a building

that looks like tits, that the roof looks like tits, you're in trouble. Yeah, it's a NLP is a set of techniques in yoga that can help people understand how their brain processes language and how that impacts their past, present, and future. It also helps you observe human behavior and learn from it. NLP can be used to help with bullshit, nonsense, nothing. No, it doesn't say that. It doesn't. No, it doesn't. You just added that. Well, Christine's out of the way, but it didn't matter. It's all, it's going to help with bullshit nonsense nothing. It doesn't say that it doesn't know it doesn't You know it was the way, but didn't matter. It's all it's gonna say the bullshit Guiding your internal experience those are just words that means nothing Creating change is vague improving relationships is always promised problem solving means nothing

Developing flexibility and thinking feeling and behavior these are just it's such you're saying nothing Seeing the glass half full rather than half empty God damn it. I hate hippie tippy shit so much you hate mental health. I do you do. I do not like you hate you hate People who evolve I hate people who need help you know You don't like people weakness. You don't like people who evolve you like people just being who they are Mental health isn't evolving that is evolving sure it does Oh, dude, I used to be a psycho want to beat people up all the time. You just had a kid Didn't change your chemistry

You had a kid you're like, oh, yeah, I can kill it will you I used to fucking be a piece of shit sexually Yeah, help. I'm not that fully and you got help. You got older. I'm still a piece of shit I'm getting older. You had a kid you're more tired earlier. So you don't care about fucking so late I'm fighting it every day like yeah, I don't want to fuck her I don't want to blowjob from the girl in the front row with a tattoo on her face I'd have 17 side girlfriends, I'm just too tired. Yeah, I know. No, but you know, dude, I meditated this morning.

I worked out and then I went in the sauna and I did meditation. Meditation. Didn't jerk off, Jay. Nah, dude, look, meditation. I did it. Bobby. Actually, when I jerk off now, you know what hits me? In the face?

Yes, I hit myself in the face. Where it hits you? Yeah, if I wait off now, you know what hits me? In the face? Yes. I hit myself in the face. Where it hits you? Yeah, if I wait long enough to masturbate, I can hit myself in the face. That's nice. And then I go like this.

Shaggy, scuba snap. What are you going to get up and go to the toilet and wipe it off? Boo. It's your jizz, Bob. Yeah, man. It tastes like pool water. Um, yours tastes like pineapple. Yeah. Uh, dude.

It smells like shocked pool. Shocked pool. I meditated this morning. I did affirmations. What'd you say, one this equals abundance? No, I said one plus one doesn't equal one. It equals zero. What?

How's that happen? And if you sell Nexium to your friends you become their leader And then you start your own business. I said better help actually It's good because you don't have to wait in a line No, you have to go into the city you can just do it from anywhere and change therapists anytime. Oh, that's right We do have better help people do need therapy weak people And plenty of weak people listen to this show

So if you need help with your weaknesses because you don't know how to problem solve on your own therapy. Weak people and plenty of weak people listen to this show. So if you need help with your weaknesses, because you don't know how to problem solve on your own, better help. I did. Dot com. I fucking pussy. Now with 10% off you fucking pussy. Oh, here's a message from my doctor. I fucking hate shy motherfuckers. I did therapy today and Alan called me a pussy.

Did he really? Yeah, he got me a pussy today. Then he threw a ninja star at you that just missed no because I was getting angry I was getting mad because all the house shit is kind of fucking going fucked up and I was getting visit It happens when you buy a house Nothing happens when it's supposed to gotcha gotcha Somebody will make a mistake or somebody will file so not blah blah blah And then the date, we had a closing date, it got pushed,

now it's pushed a week, we have to close immediately because Max has to go to school in a month and a half. So I was getting frustrated and getting mad, and I just got, and Dawn, Dawn's like, I don't know, she's a little more cool than me with that shit. And I was like, no. That wasn't an impression of cool? No. No.

No. So Dawn's all like, boom, you know, cool as shit over there in the corner. Duh, duh. My impression of Dawn was, yay. Yeah, just too cool for school over there in the corner. Duh, duh. Don't like donuts.

No. I was like, what about this? She's like, I don't know. I was like, well, well she's like I don't know I was like well you know find out don't and I make it oh I know so anyways I was like getting angry he's like you're such a pussy I'm like what he goes men don't get angry at shit like that I'm like he's like you're a pussy I'm like you're a fucking pussy man call me pussy again oh time's up it was call me pussy again oh you know Bobby actually that's our time I a, I got a 315 coming in a second. I always end my sessions, what did Dan say about me?

The first time I went down and I cried first time. That's why I said, I go, did Bobby Kelly cry fast to me? He goes, I can't talk about that. It's like also serious in there. Like, oh, nevermind. I was just kidding. Anyway. Did you cry? Yeah. With Alan? Yeah. What did he get you to cry about? I think it was my dad and my daughter like relation to that like parenting my daughter. Dude I cried over that too. Through the ill teachings of my father. I cried over that too. Yeah. I had a big I had a big I had a whimper a booger whimper cry over that. Yeah. Yeah, so. When I cried though, when I got up,

as soon as he said it's okay, I got up and I slapped him in his fucking jerk-off face. Oh, he molested me. And that's why I don't go to Alan anymore. He actually molested me. Did your father do this? He goes, he didn't love you enough to touch you like this. I think the problem is your father didn't love you enough to make love to you with his

mouth. Don't do it. Oh man. Could you do me a favor? Could you, on your foley work, can you make my cock a little bigger? Yeah. Excellent. That's better.

Your other one was like. Yeah. Like you were having bubble tea. Bobby, let me give you a blow job. I got to cool it you a blowjob. I gotta cool it off a little bit. Well, we gotta take a break, dude. We do.

Well, we got a bunch of commercials, everybody. Great news, commercials are back. How many live reads, Lou? Seven. I don't see any. There's not any right now? No. Can we fake some? We could probably fake some now. Maybe tomorrow for Bennington only. Hey everybody, Rolex watches for all your watch needs.

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and wanna send me stuff, I'm gonna plug your show right now. Also, testosterone therapy under the radar black market testosterone therapy also we are promoting that and I'm also promoting Robert Kelly who's gonna be at the music hall in Portsmouth New Hampshire July 20th that's this Saturday and then the showcase lounge in South Burlington Vermont on July 26 after that co-hosts New York San Diego and Minneapolis and every Tuesday night you can catch Bobby at that fat black pussycat lounge the comedy seller for tickets and all tour dates go to punchup.live Robert Kelly where you can also get a bunch of his content. Yes and go to comicwearables.com Guess what hats and shirts six gear summer

Up there right now use code work code word Bonfire, I think you get money off, I don't know how much. But give Big J this weekend. Nope. The 27th. Yep. Nope, kinda. Hopefully.

No, hopefully, yeah. Hopefully, no, he'll be there. July 27th, we have a. Push it, push it. Just over a week to. Sell it out. Yeah, I think we've got 14, 15 tickets sold. That's awesome, dude, that's a crowd.

Plus, oh, and then my mom needs eight free tickets That's pretty much it I think that's it it's great but you can go get get back to gambling quick Yeah, go get your tickets right now. Let's fill this up for big Jay. It's a huge theater. His mom's coming 27th of July and they asked me for less if they see I'm failing. Borgata Atlantic City what a fun weekend that's gonna be then he's gonna be in helium in Portland Oregon August 1st through the 3rd and then he'll be in Albany Portland Maine Dallas Omaha for all of the tickets and info and everything big J.O.Cousin big J.Comedy.com we'll be right back you sexy