The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jurassic Steps (feat. Jeremiah Watkins)

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

Jeremiah Watkins and the guys compare step-dads and their love for Jurassic Park!

Hey guys, thanks for listening to the podcast and always remember you can go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer to hear us on the actual radio as well. And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Bonfire. In fact this song is... It's affected lives. It's...

Temperature by Sean Paul. I thought it was white reggae, but he's not white, I guess. Mr. Bacon. He was in the movie belly. Was he? He was in Mr. Vegas. Was he good? They just performed a song when DMX goes down there.

On Tommy Buns goes to Jamaica. Man, you are really familiar with the movie, Belly. I watched it probably a hundred times in high school, because I had a PlayStation 2, and I only had enough money for a couple of movies, and I bought half-baked, Belly. But Belly wasn't good. Tell that to 16-year-old Dan, so.

Did you love it? That opening scene, I'll say this. That opening scene, fucking rules. Yeah. The acting's horrible, but, you know. Our guest, everybody, I'll say this, that opening scene, fucking rules. Uh, acting is horrible, but you know, our guest, we've a joining us in studio. He's got a new series, stand up on the spot on YouTube, uh, podcast, the Sizzabro's and the Jeremiah Wonders podcast. Everybody, it's the hilarious Jeremiah walkins for touring the show. What's up? How's it going everybody? What's going on, dude? We were just talking about this song when we came back.

Jays mom's first temperature. It was my mom's ring back tone. You said you saw your mother just dancing with a black eye to this. Yeah, it was one of my parents were having marital problems. Did they separate for a bit? Yeah, they were like separated, but for whatever reason my dad was like he goes, your mom's at another bar. He goes, let's go get her. So he took me with him to go pick up my mom at a bar and I saw it through the bar window. She was dancing with a black guy to the song. And then you're dead.

And you're like, here's your second lesson son. This isn't the time to go interject. We're gonna let him finish the song. I'm gonna go up there. I'm gonna get your god damn mother. And then he gets there and he goes, all right, so much to get a little one to take your losses. And this isn't the moment we're going there. I think I'm gonna get there enough to shit I think I'm gonna get a word with her. She's by the pool table

I'm gonna swing by dairy queen son. What do you want? You want a nice cream? I will get we'll get her right after she goes back to the hotel room with the Maybe he'll be tight. She'll tire him out. That's when I'll step in element of surprise son You want to use all your strengths and not your weaknesses. Do you like, you like Batman, don't you boy? Yeah, of course. He's like, I'm gonna teach you how to fight like

the Cape Crusader. I've ever had my, be my step moms and dad I don't know, but I don't think so. My step father and mother never like had a separation or a break at all. And my dad, when he left, it was just that gone. So I've never seen like the,

oh, like the turmoil and then come back around. It doesn't even, it seems like so. Did they divorce after that? Or did they heal back up and then it was just weird for a little bit then divorced? Yeah, I mean, they were, at that point, like they were having an arrow problem for a while and then eventually it led to a divorce.

Like they both were doing different stuff that was causing like reading up to a divorce, you know? Because my parents, like, same with Jay, my parents got divorced and it was like, fucking, don't, well, I didn't know it. I was five. So I was just growing up being like, oh, they live in different cities.

My dad lived with us. And the next day, he was in Florida for a while. Yeah. And then came back to like Delaware. So I mean, we could all, we all have the shared experience of watching your mom start to date after. Oh yeah. And it's crazy because it's never easy as the kid.

We were like, who's this guy? Just a guy named Dennis. Is that our house now? Oh yeah, I had a black stepdad for a while named Wes. And we lived with like my mom and him lived in the same house and his son lived with us for a little bit and my sister and I lived in that house with him.

Did you like your step brother? He was like a little kid, so I was so much old. I was like 17 by this point. And he was literally like six years old. Oh, okay. Yeah, so the gap was huge. I remember being young, being young though, and you're wondering about your mom dating

And you may I don't know if you articulate this exactly anything damn, but like it does give you You get an insight into like the adult mind a little more as a kid because you you realize very quickly especially if your mom sees someone for a while The difference in when this guy first walked through the door, like the mind blow in my stepfather, because he came in as a guy that I'm like, oh, this guy's pretty cool, my mom's dating. Do you know what I mean? Like, I like this guy. He's like kind of fun, young, he lifts weights, and he looks cool.

I'm like, this is great. To the time that the first time he's like yelling at me and like telling me I have to get in my room, and you have to listen to him. He has my stepfather. He was in a beauty, he was good stepfather. I guess I was wrong about my mom's type. This guy sucks. Yeah, but I'm saying like it was such a shock

as you're like, wow, this isn't the guy who right away was like, hey, hey buddy. I love doing kid things. Mm-hmm. Watching someone get sick of you. Was funny, or was watching? Yeah, I was watching. I was watching sick of you, especially.

And by the way, you're gonna get the worst because when he gets sick of your mother or whatever happens with a mother like it's he's been holding back on you him and her been fighting he said he has he's got a whole extra deal he walks by you on that way out the door and goes oh yeah this is a motherfucker I'm so happy you're not my real son you fat turd hey what funny is it actually I thought we had something it's happened it's happened a couple of times where my mom and when my mom and her husband or boyfriend will start fighting, he and I become close. He's like, I need an ally in the house.

It's a triangle. I was an only child. So he'd be like, all right, you're cool now. Your mom's a real bitch and I'd be like, right, she didn't up my allowance. Well, the guy, a guy, he's like running for class president in fifth grade, where all he has to do is promise more recess, and I'm like, this guy fucking rules. If your stepmom's pretty enough,

she can get you to fucking take pop shots at your dad, for sure too, but the guy, you know, I mean, like a stepfather to a boy is like, when he starts going at your mom a little bit, and gives it like, I get what you're saying now, but your mom acting like this, you really do feel like you've had a friend in the world though. I'll tell you.

Your mom does do that and you're like, right Joe? She's always complaining about this stupid stuff, right? Dude, my Joe, evil Joe, played me like a fiddle. On his way out he was like, did your mom fucking crazy? I was like, dog, I've been saying that. Where you been this whole time?

Can I go with you? Yeah. But then he only got like, maybe a month of me thinking he was cool and then I kind of saw him, he like bummed my mom out and I was like, fuck this guy. And then he used to me to turn back. Your mom, when she left West, were you like, was it all of a sudden over?

Yeah, it was, they had a clean clean it was like an amicable break. His his son's mom was moving to a different state. So he had to move. He kind of he's like, I got to be with my son. So like he did the good, good dad thing. Yeah. So like I never had any a will towards him. I was like, man, that guy's dope.

Like, you know, I really hope that I'm not a racist. Queen City goes because his baby's mom came over one time, took her wig off and fucked my mom up. He got my mom and that became a whole thing. It was like, now he's moving. So he did the responsible thing. Dude, as a black father and moved out there. I'm updated a guy that was, that is his own daughters,

hatred him, but they were like in their 20s, and then I was like, that's not a good sign. You didn't see that coming when they broke up? I was like, you didn't see that guy coming at all? No, no, my kids talked to me. Can I move in with your kid? Dude, I wasn't living in the house, I was in college. I'm gonna be shitty to your kid now, that's okay.

And I started doing, kind of my thing. Yeah, I started to hit my kids. I started doing stand up when she was dating this guy, and he was like an old pothead, she's like a fucking loser, and he, like not even a cool old pothead, like a dorky old pothead, and I would say, my friends would be over something,

I'd say something funny, that make him laugh, and he'd go, you should put that in your act, and I always took it as like, are we about to fight Keith? Maybe I'll have to knock your fucking teeth in. You'll bro. You don't write for me, bro. Hey Dan, that's a good sk teeth in you'll bro. You you don't write for me bro Hey, Dan. That's a good skit. You just did Dude, that was exactly what would go down and I do that one of your sticks

I'd be like what's up? What's up? You old dude one time he was driving me to Him and my mom are driving me the airport and I was very hungover and he was just staring at me in the rear view smiling And I was looking out the window wanting to die and I look over and he's just staring at me in the rear view, smiling. And I was looking out the window, wanting to die. And I look over and he's just staring at me and I just remember going, what Keith, like that? And he goes, you look hung over. I go, you fucking think so. You should've hit him with the, oh really doctor?

Oh really doctor, did I? Is your mom currently married? She is now, yeah, my mom and dad both are remarried, yeah. And you love the guy now? Who do you like more? You're stepdad or stepmom? We all have a good time. Oh, the stepmom for sure.

Without even a question. So your dad's wife rules? She is, yeah, yeah, she gets it. She does? Yeah, she just let my brother and my dad take a road trip to St. Louis. I just performed there on Thursday. They took a road trip to come see me from Kansas City to St. Louis and had a great time.

Awesome. Yeah. What about you, Rick? Just go. The stepdad. Not a huge fan. Yeah. How old is it? How old's the marriage of your mom and stepdad? Like five years now, four or five years. Okay. So it's what you get through going back to white. It's recent. Oh, she went back. Yeah, that's saying. I'm not planning my mom. Same problem.

It says a big problem. She went back to white guys. Idiot. You never, yeah, you don't, it's right there. Don't cover that. It's right there. It's carved above my door. Once you go black, you cannot go back.

They got married. They say sometimes you can go back. Yeah, they got married in 2017, right? About five years, 2017, 2018. It was kind of strange about it. So we invited them to my wife and I's wedding and they, my mom and her new husband got married right before they came out. So they would be a married couple before,

or wedding, yeah, before my wedding. So they beat us to it. Really? They're like, guess what? We're married now, we're coming to the wedding. Like we wanted to be properly wed to come to your wedding. I'm like, I wouldn't have held it against you. That's a weird thing.

You know, mom, you don't bring your lover here. Yeah, you know exactly. That's what my, I think my mom was thinking in her head, like the announcements. Yeah, I think that she was worried about having like the different names and stuff. And how long is your mom a walkins and Gus featuring Gus plus one. Mama walkins plus one. How long is your dad been with your step mom? Around the same amount of time. Damn. That's funny. They're like racing to get married. You know the weirdest thing about their relationship though?

This is bizarre, okay. This is the woman that my dad left my mom for. Does that make sense? They were dating back in the day. He left this woman, started dating my mom, settled down with her, married got kids. Her husband years later, literally like 30 years later, her husband passed away.

She got on Facebook, hit up my aunt said, is Ken back in the game. You know Ken Watkins. Ken Watkins, baby. They started dating, got married after all that time. Damn. Yep. Damn.

So all my dad's phone is a picture of them in the 70s dating as his background. And then he broke up with her to date your mom. Yeah. Does your mom feel like the fuck, dude, going back? This is going back shit. There's no back. She got way back. She goes, she got way better blow jobs. So yeah, even in the world. That's so funny. The thought of your dad being like ran it back.

Remember that girl used to talk shit about all the time? That's my wife. I'm gonna jump back in there. Yeah, that's crazy. Remember that girl I left you for? Mistake. Yeah, I mean. We've got the kids.

No worries. They're fun sometimes. No worries. One of them's a comedian, I guess. That's great. My stepmother is, yeah, she's, it's funny. My step pops the great step parent. My stepmother is the worst

But like again, that's the worst you never hit me or anything, but just like But if you if you if both if both of them were on opposite sides of the room and you had to pick one you go Joe all day Oh, well day. I go to Joe. I could talk to Joe forever Yeah, that's got a one of the weirdest guys and like the best way that's got to hurt if you're a step dad And you hear that you're like what do you mean? I was fucking fucking you know sports fan academic genius It's pretty amazing power lift like power weightlifter and what just like the most just

Ordinary a guy in a way just like you know watch the fillies game at night and watch his sci-fi shit and crash And then what is what is Diane giving you? What do you mean life? What's the positive on Diane? I guess she was a good mom to the kids. You know, everything that I thought though I did say that I thought was like crazy as she treated me like she did keep pretty consistent on her kids. I did find that out like in recent years.

That's gotta be nice because my brothers, you know, they're getting the same dad and that's the my step-mom's their mom Adults now I was always mean like They're big guys too my dad's kids all my siblings and my mom's side are are small they're tiny But my brothers look like my brothers. They do when I got I got to meet his dad and his brothers at his Connysitial taping Jay what's the hall dude? I came around the corner. I was like Jay's dad and his brothers at his commonsitial taping, what's the whole? Dude, I came around the corner and I was like, Jay's dad and Jay with dad. You just saw what Jay would've been like with a dad.

You're like in a polo shirt and he's like, this old man right here can't even drink beer like he used to. I was like, that's not the Jay, I don't know that you. I know Jay without dad. I'm like, I didn't know we drank beer. Yeah, I don't know my dad drank beer. Can't drink it like he used to, how did he used to drink it? You guys remember that? I don't know we drank beer. Yeah. I don't know my dead drink beer. No. You can't drink it like you used to,

how did you use to drink it? You remember that. I don't remember that. Remember when you dress up like Santa Claus and then he just like surprised us and you go, I, um, well, if I was actually waiting for that phone call, Christine's got to find it. We got to get it like somewhere when she comes back

for the pajama picture, the picture. It's so fun from a couple of Christmas's ago. And it was like, I know we give you a lot of crap, but life would be a Life would be awful without our dad the big gayer bear and it's my brothers and him both all wearing like matching footy pajamas It's the funniest thing in the world. I'm like I don't have a family, dude I don't think I have a picture of my father where I wasn't an infant and the picture that I do have in my phone Which I'll show you When we go to break is him holding me as a baby or no, I'm like, I'm in a little velvet

red suit. You should have your dad. I'm like seeing his, my dad looking up on such excitement and he is looking over a shoulder and me to go on like, yeah, I'm about to go. Yeah. And it's probably around the age that a while. So funny. Yeah.

I think that's that. So fucking funny. He's like, well,. I think that's that. So fucking funny. He's like, well, this kid's, who can't wear that suit? Yeah, you're looking up like, we're gonna do this forever, right, dad? You guys, I got six more months. He's like, I am wearing thin.

Honestly, between your mother's Jewish family and this, it's a lot. It goes, it'll be a miracle if we make it to the fall. Can't believe this baby picked out his own velvet skin kind of lounge singer did I birth oh my god how Jewish is this kid why is he wearing a velvet suit deer is your sister does your sister like your stepmom more than your stepdad she actually really likes the stepdad run why don't you, is it just because... I have my reasons, but I think it's also, I mean partly because just the sun mentality of like no one's good enough for your mom, kind of thing.

But this guy's not good enough for me. You're like, how do I like it? Did she ever do that with you like, sign off on a guy, be like, hey, Jeremiah, do you like, sell and so? Or was she just like, this who I'm dating deal with it? She was, she didn't really put it like that But it was kind of like this is what it is like she's like I love this person. I'm like well. I want you to be happy So you know, yeah, you're just a good son. Yeah, I'm like okay, well guess I have a black brother now

All right Black brother, yeah, let's go get questions asked the grocery store I'm going to ask the grocery store, while I take you for a kill, dude. So how did this work? What if they still blame the baby for kidnapping Jeremiah? Yeah, there you go. How could he steal that from here? What's going on?

Are you okay, sir? How could he steal that 17 years away? He was my baby brother, he was, I'm not talking to you. The baby. Hey, come on, man. Answer's now. I need to take this baby in the back for a moment.

It's a little questioning my brother and the back. Have you ever had a moment with your stepdad where you're like, maybe we could turn this around. Has there ever been a moment where we're like, what we're, I mean, we're, we're there as far as, we like, we have a mutual respect for each other. Like, do you also have a mutual understanding of where that line is? Oh, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Was she with him when, was that a big celebration? You were in Kansas City for the Super Bowl the year they won, right? Yeah. And like, that was, was he like that at her house? No, I wasn't back home when they won. Oh, I was like home. They were home.

My mom, it was pretty cool. My mom actually called me crying when they won the Super Bowl. And she said this thing, and I'll never forget she was, it just feels good to win at something. I'm like, oh man. I was like, this is awesome. God, I wish that moment would have never happened for you in the 49ers. With all of my heart, I wish you never got that moment with your mom.

Really? Yeah. If we could steal that moment, you'll never forget with your mom. I got, I wish Tyree Killwin or in that wheel route, like third to 16, and got absolutely fucking wide open. And your mom had that moment. Now Tyree Kill's on your boys team. Yeah, they're moving and grooving. I do, that was a trade that I was not a fan of.

You know what's funny about that is McDaniel took all the trades that we made with Miami to get Tray Lance. Tray did three first round picks to get to the third spot to get Tray Lance. Then McDaniel took the head coaching job at the Dolphins and turned those three picks into Jaylen Waddle, Ty Tyree kill and Bren and Chup.

For your hilarious, he was involved in both. Yeah, he took, it's like he paid Peter right, and he was like, and that's my money, okay, and I'll take you, and I'll take that. Yeah, it was fucking great. Yeah, man, is there anything that you've bonded with with your stepdad? Is there one subject that you know when you show up at home, you're like, I can talk to him about this? Sports probably, probably right it's the easy one yeah I mean he's a huge Cowboys fan so you want him is it dear parents just mom did your mom know she married a sucker Kansas

city she there's Cowboys stuff around my mom's place now and it really bugs me it really bugs she got to walk down to the basement when they got to walk down to the basement. When they won the Super Bowl and now she has to live around that. Yeah. That's not okay. He's not good enough for me. When you walk into the basement, there's like a Troy Ackman post and there's like a Dallas Cowboys star

and it's too much for me. No, I have never. And I mean, it's honestly, my mom's a Broncos fan. So we're fine. The 49ers stuff is from my dad's side and I love the Niners and that was a bad break up. But no man, no other man will come into my mom's home and hang up. Even now that I don't,

I haven't lived there for like 20 years. Never will that hang up. So I'm saying, I know we're when though, how about if someone comes in and big Niners fan also love it. Yeah, love it. Taking your dad's place, cause your dad's who got you, you're the Niners. He's not taking your dad's place cuz your dad's who got you Niners, right? He's not taking my dad's place. No he is though. We're taking some deeper hugs. No, but he's my

Call him dad. Am I calling dad? He's gonna say honestly. I haven't used the D word on a man in quite some time Mm-hmm. So it'd be nice. Did you ever try it? Nick once and I felt weird. I was like I don't like it my stepdad. I've never done. I'm never done I had a good step that was later. I always call my step pop a Joe always but I hear the gayest story about me also come here's my let me tell you what I fucked me No, I'll tell you raped me in a tool shed what I do give Joe Well, I do give Joe though is if I I call them like my parents I'm like all my I'm seeing when I was like living there and as a kid

I'd be like I have to go ask my parents about see I would always say I'd say it's my mom's step. I would always say mom and Joe Because he was her boyfriend. They were married so yeah, but you also didn't care for him either. No, not at all No, I was saying it like I was actually pretty stoked on the idea as I especially as I got like until like mid to late teens Well, it's actually pretty great having like a dude influence I was definitely heading towards being super bitchy and whiny. That's me baby. No man corrected this. I was gonna be super bitchy and whiny.

I've never had it all in me man. Jay this is what you could have been. No you don't have to notice it. You're not wrong. When I'm shocked I put my hand on my chest. Good or bad or? Oh my. I know shit. You're not wrong. When I'm shocked, I put my hand on my chest. Oh. Oh. Good or bad? Oh, my.

Oh, my. Oh, sweet heavens. Yeah, I mean, it was with my grandmother would never be like, well, you have to stick up for yourself and fight back. She would just be like, I remember that line. It was so sweet. She meant so well. She said, well, if they keep calling you fat across the street,

you just tell them that you're going gonna come over there and sit on. I have. Yeah, like, it doesn't help. You're thinking, Mom, Mom. That doesn't help one bit. D. It doesn't help one bit. I appreciate the sentiment, Mom, you're so right.

And what you're saying, but that's going over there and there going, you're fat, I'm going, you want to see how fat? I'll sit on you. I was so gassed up on my 10th birthday because Jurassic Park was coming out that same year. I saw that in the U-Bananas. You've been a crite in the head since you were nine. Dude, you know, I went rising sun, you want to get into it? What do you want to talk about?

You want to get Michael Crite on this motherfucker? Did you see Jurassic Park in theaters? Dude, it came out the week of my birthday. So absolutely, I saw it. I had my birthday party there. In fact, Eric Medina dumped the bag of popcorn on me because I told him to shut up. Because I was so excited to watch a movie. If you're out there still, like Medina, fuck you.

I think you got into this gang life. Good. I hope he's not in prison. I went opening weekend to Jurassic Park and my, we went with my, but my neighbor, who is my buddy and his older brother and his sisters, hot older sister, when the transverse Rex finally came out. Yeah. She shot out of her seat, pissed her pants and ran out of the theater. Now what was she?

She was like 17. Damn, that was a squirt dude. She was squirted. That was the first squirt, Nate. When he was 20, first squirt is the deepest brown. I was 17 and also I guess my age now, so it was the first thing I thought of, when it's like she stood up and peed, and if it's like, chicked, it's hot, you go, that came out of her pussy.

Yeah, it's so funny. You're welcome. You saw a thing like, it came from a dirty place. Take a look at it. Pussy, Paul, Pussy, pants. Damn. So I remember for my birthday, you know, I wanted all the toys, I was 10.

Of course, super into it, and I remember my fucking step that Nick busted out the T-rex is the last gift With like the thing you could remove from his ribcage to show his ribs It was like a rubber toy and I had all the guys So he busted out the T-rex We're addressing Parker 93 or six. Oh, no, sorry 93 might be right Check that you check out when Jurassic. 93 might be right. I'm going to check that. Can you check out when Dress Parking?

It might be 93 or 94. I was 10, so 93. Dude, all I remember is Nick busted out that T-Rex and I gave him a kiss on the lips. And both of us were like, what was that? What the fuck was that? This is so exciting. This is so exciting. Do you think later that night when everything was done, the wrapping paper was all thrown

away and you were snuggled up in your T-Rex and bed and your mom sat down and looked at him and went, what was that about? Are you in Dan? Yeah, 93. 93. Can I touch it? Are you touching my Dan? It's funny, it's all of us.

I'm like, what was that? I can't hear that. I'm like, I can't hear that. That was a weird funny is all of us all of us including my mom like I got a question I was like T-Rex Do you remember is our kitchen? I can't believe we didn't say this by the way that we absolutely should speak. You just reminded me Do you know this is already? Dude when we were downstairs coming in today Yeah in between shows we did the pre-record and we were coming up from between shows

Somebody was coming out of the elevator And we were going me and Dan were going in, and she just, she works here. It's serious. I couldn't talent the part. I couldn't place her for some reason, like in my head, and she was just like, hey guys, and like friendly enough,

and I just don't know like for a split second, it looked like Bobby Kelly's wife. I just wasn't sure who it was. And my instinctual reaction was to give her a hug of long-term friendship. And then she was like, oh, okay. And then we were like, okay, so we'll see it. Then we went in the elevators and I'm like, well, that's crazy. You got to do crazy thing. The rest of her day she's going to be like, what the fuck was that about? Big J hug me. Yeah. I mean, do you hug by hug high school together?

Why did he put my hand inside his fingerless? Yeah, she went okay, dude I said that they were like oh, I feel like a mental patient who's petting someone to hard overstepped Okay, there he is when you're like when a jog a dog jumps up you go, okay? Junker all right Dog don't a dog jumps up you go, oh, okay, oh, he's a jumper. All right. Oh, no. You should grab my collar and be like, Jay, Jay, Jay, go, sorry, sorry. I go down.

Down, Jay. Down. Jay, down. So what, you guys know our kissers stepped down on the lips. Yeah, and any other point in your life is at the only time where you accidentally kiss somebody. Yeah.

What harvors the only time I've, and cussed that, because I was like, what reaction was somebody. Yeah. What harvester's the only time I've and cussed that. Because I was like, what reaction was that? Yeah. I was so geeked up on the Jurassic Park toys. I see Rex meant a lot to you. I remember we're on the kiss of dude. Uh, I was just,

I was just, I was just going to, I was just going to to a Russ and ass an assless chag I mean you could use those toys, but I'd wash them All I'm saying is how I got those toys is none of your business Look you want the toys or not there's a bag of toys don't ask how they got here Do you want you got to walk off? Do you want the third edition gambit? Well, you have to lay on it. You're gonna have to sit on a pillow for a little bit I have man That's a third edition gambit? Well, you have to sit on a pillow for a little bit. I have man kissing a boy in the lips.

I'll tell you. It wasn't a boy, he was a 50 year old man. That was my stepfather. I'll tell you what, how hard we laughed. God, did he could, he kissed. It was the God. It was the God. He the one that got away.

God, where there's sparks. I still think of that day. Hey, Nick, I know you're 80 now, but I'll rearrange your guts. Hey, one for the memory books. Do you think we could run it back? I go to you. Do you remember that? And he goes, the T-Rex?

You say that the same thing. The T-Rex? Dan, I never stopped thinking about that T-Rex. Oh Dan. Oh, be my Jurassic Park. What if you watched the sleep and you would be so tender in those dick-traicy pajamas? He was a boy pretending to be an adult to me or your mom to get close to you. It's like never been kissed.

Yeah. Dan, my safe word is gold bloom. Gold bloom. Sometimes life finds a way. Oh, man. What's your safe word? Faster harder? Yeah.

Okay. My safe word is, I- I didn't say the magic word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, it made me so mad in the latest Jurassic Park, the one that came out just now with Chris Pratt in the OG's back.

I didn't know I was good. In the fucking spitting dinosaur, he just shuts the things on him physically. Yeah. God, that made me mad. I didn't watch it because I've heard nothing but terrible things about it. One of the worst movies ever I skipped it because I was so worried when they bring back that many people I'm like, I don't know about this. It sucks. It sucks. So bad. I would say watch it They're also cameos right like they really are just popping for a minute. No, they're in the movie. They are yeah, gold bloom

Laura Dern and fucking Sam Neeler in it But they that first one I said I don't know if I those those moments you remember the movie Yeah, Goldblum, Laura Dern, and fucking Sam Neeler in it. But that first one, I said, I don't know if I, those those moments you remembered in movie theater and the banner, which was, what does it say on the banner? Welcome to Jurassic Park, I think. Is that what it was? I thought it was like something more like emotional behind,

but it was like when the banner falls over the T-Rex and he just does that last roar and they just leave the island and you're like, damn, that was, what an iconic like visual thing Yeah, then also because and still to this day. I mean that movie was a mega leap Special effects watch. Oh, yeah anything in I can't think of the next biggest leap. Oh, dinosaur's Rule the air when dinosaurs rule the earth is what it is Hmm Rule the air when dinosaurs rule the earth is what it is Hmm

Movie slaps dude. Yep. Go watch the original dress park still my baby game for the first time It was one of my favorite grown conversations and I've talked about it recently was talking about the amount of PTSD that those children would suffer from the rest of their life Oh, yeah, just a shaking glass next to a bed. You're like The anxiety next to a bed and you're like the anxiety. Sorry, dude, I went to this experimental island that my fucking grandfather created and I almost got killed by dinosaurs and you're like, I'm sorry, this is my first hinge date. What? What's your name? Well, the one on the little girl went on to become the nicest most popular girl

on school to go to the prom with Angus, I think. Oh yeah. I think that was her. And the kid disappeared. Who Angus? No the little boy from the dress. I never heard of it. I've been pretty prolific. He was in the Pacific. Bring him up. I'm forgetting. Go to IMDB and bring him up. He's doing really well. Since he's your boyfriend. She wants to kiss him on the little boy. Yeah, dude. That was a little overstepping. My buddy John, this in the military, I really, it's one of the things you feel bad about when you were young

because I didn't know how to like deal with it other than to make fun of them with people. But I remember him, his grandfather would kiss him on the lips like when they said, and I remember just couldn't wait to tell people that John makes out with his grandfather. Ah! Uh, did you ever kiss your mom? Guys who work here? My mom? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're little. I wonder what age you like hey mom quit trying to fucking account on me Yeah, I think I've chosen a mom and a little adult. I think play many time but

More probably not so much anymore Yeah, you've seen bokeh me in rhapsody I forgot that I don't get a social network I don't kiss is a bell on the lips. Did you I mean how long did you kiss him on the cheek. He's a, I mean, I'm gonna do it until he's like, yeah, it's dappin' it. Because it's just, I didn't think I was gonna be that dad who was gonna kiss his son on the cheek, but I don't know, I'm just like a bubbly guy running

more and more like, oh, I love this kid. Like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I kiss Isabelle everywhere on her face, probably the role life when she was little. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah. It's funny that that's gonna hurt that when he goes, dude, stop.

Oh, no, for sure. I mean, dad, stop. He's probably gonna go, I mean, you're right. Yeah, whatever. I don't want to kiss you either, fucking loser. I mean, no, it's fine. No, I don't. You're gay for loving it.

I'd be like, I don't know. Maybe throw me a T. Rex toy and I'll kiss you a little kid. I make the kid work for it. Hey, meet your uncle Dan. Yeah, I go, Hey, here's a T Rex. Coming for you. The T Rex. Dude, I just remember it's stopping everything. Bring on that toy to see if it gets your heart. Like, bring up picture of that toy. Oh, okay, Nick. Okay, what are we working with here?

Sense memory. Oh, I don't remember this being a... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Tiny arms. I thought this second last one I enjoyed to some degree. They fucked the whole franchise do that's when they were getting They were gonna weaponize them I think mm-hmm Chal, they bring that up in this one and then that's just stories is over movie Jay I like you didn't like the movie you loved making fun of the movie. I did enjoy making fun of it Yeah, it was entertaining terrible. I was entertained by it. So I was my buddy got married on the beach and He asked me to play saxophone for their, for their, the processional, like the him coming to the altar.

Before it started, he goes, will you play the Jurassic Park theme? And I was like, dude, I don't know if I can do that to your wife. I'm like, and I decided not to. I couldn't do it, dude. I was like, I couldn't do it dude He's like He's going like he's like she'll get it dude, right? I don't think you know anything about this woman. Yeah after the after it happened He goes thank you so much for not doing that that would have been like one of the biggest mistakes ever

I'm like yeah, dude. I just called it not That's what a mother and mother and law states him and goes who I told you not to marry this asshole And that's when my mom would stand up in her all white suit with her cane Did you go welcome? Jurassic ball has anybody ever been to a wedding that was stopped by the speak now forever? No, is that ever happen? The look up. There's a video the last three or four weddings. I've been to they don't even say that line anymore Sean at Mark Norman's wedding Sean Pat was doing the ceremony and he goes,

hey just say anything right now. Okay. There's got to do it. Say anything you're gonna say right now. Yeah if you're gonna disrupt it disrupt it right now. But yeah I can't imagine actually doing that. So I think you're seeing movies. I'm madly in love with him. No I promise you it's happened in life. But you gotta be like, you're surrounded by his strength. A woman is showed up to fuck up a wedding. I guarantee.

Yeah. I almost happened to all of it. I would put the odds on women doing it more than men because men if you do it, you're gonna fight. You're probably gonna in a fight. There's gonna be either her brother or dude, suddenly he's gonna beat up that dude in the parking lot if he leaves or they're gonna ask or that person out.

Like why are you even here? No Jacob, don't go if he's actually. People really, they do, you have to just look it up like on YouTube or something. Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy JP tonight unfortunately not unfortunately fortunately I got a shit ton of God award-play yeah I'm gonna play that too I will I've been thinking about going back to some old movies recently the one that I forget I think I was hearing something on Howard Stern they were talking about it but Star Trek 2 the wrath of Khan oh yeah with your worms and shit yeah yeah I haven't watched it a million years ago it's all starts right yeah yeah I was like that when you find I was having fun watching

Friday that just make fun of them Friday the 13th Because you were like I'm so scared of these as a kid and now they are so dumb No, I don't I think the kid jumping out of the lake at the end is still terrifying of a one Is it the end of one when she's out in the I think I think so yeah, yeah, we're different face I'm telling you man the thing about Jason and Michael Myers is you take their masks off and there's such do-fist faces right oh yeah oh oh oh I remember this is the fire yeah you can play this is real oh we did watch this

remember because she's in the background the guy is trying to guess not happening she goes Randall oh yeah you know you don't with me he's like like and then the wife, I think eventually goes like, hey, hey, that girl's yelling her name's like, hmm? I'm sorry, I was like, I didn't hear anything, Daryl, you're crazy. I was, I was, I was love people say my name. We're getting married.

I was lost in your eyes. I was lost in the moment. I'm sorry, I was lost in love. What's going on? Randall. You see it? Hmm? At Newworth, it's girls you're great. And it's a good fight. Brando. And wets up here. Man, go back together. And go.

And go. Someone knows it's going to happen. Hey, man. The girl filling. They can't do this. No, Jacob. It's not thinking so long to get to it. Oh, oh, oh, dramatic clap.

This is what you left my house for this morning. Oh, oh, oh dramatic clap Oh, oh Smorning this we live out for this morning. You're wedding Oh, don't go back dude. That was fucking why oh, what is what you left my house for this funny goes? You go Come on, that's technically last night. Ah, stop it. I thought we had a window. I think we're- I was playing a video game.

We're playing video games. The over attempt to not make a scene from the guys always makes it worse. So he just goes, get the crazy away. That's what. Why would you say someone like that? It's her going. It's so funny. Well, well, well.

Well, well. It says, oh, the tables have dined. You were making love to me this morning. Go to that one over next to it, Jacob, the ex-girlfriend turns away and then they have the groomsman objecting to a woman which is hilarious. Why do you not be all for the children to get married? Her face is already salad. This is the part where the minister says, if anyone knows any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now.

She gets stink face on, dude. That's James X-Girlfriend Karen. Looks like Karen couldn't hold her piece for a second. Damn, they went after her. Immediately. Yeah, she finished that sentence and ran out. Yeah, she was already like side stepping a little bit I got my car on it get the car on it. Yeah, the one up top there Jacob is the one That's the one why not bear is showing again. That's the I think that's like the really funny one Where he really just she keeps saying the name and he just has his back to her like like why not I think it's something else

There couldn't be too mark there couldn't be two more pieces here. I think that's another groom. Now, now it's isn't it? For a match, not made in heaven. Oh, I thought dude, it's not it. I sort of got your my got me. I was like, I don't know why the audio's all fucked up, but that was a perfect, that newscaster. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go back to changes. And where it's a group of diamonds. Yeah, I'm curious about that because to see. Ugh.

I hate these stupid things. These stupid ads. Do we have ads? Why? When a groom goes to a gloom. Yeah. Tonight is six. She's out.

And either of you, or anyone else present, knows any just cause why this marriage should not take place I ask that you make it known at this time or remain silent from here on out here Justin, you can't wait for this. Otherwise, you lose stand and I'll send a sleepovers and PJ marines. Fuck. It's cause. I hate you. Fuck you, YouTube.

Yeah, the guy who is presenting, I suspect something. Because the pauses, I was like, man, this guy's timing is way off. You have an objection. And if anybody has an objection, I'll do anything else. And also, once we're in $10,000 with maverick in the night in the morning If you're gonna say something say it right now Right here before all these people a good thing

In the world it was real you just heard of letting out I fucked him this morning And it was real you just heard a lady go I fucked him this morning The mark oh, that's what you left for me. I love that dude. I love the blanks. They're the way we gotta take our left right no though We gotta take our last break You're somebody else here near more no though Jeremiah walk into this hanging out his stand up on the spot is on YouTube Go check it out stand up on the spot on YouTube. I come back and saying goodbye yeah something out but we'll still plug this stuff also check out sister bros and the Jeremiah Wonders podcast at Jeremiah stand up on social media so fine one of the most talented people quickest hands in the game he slapped the shit out of Louis J Gomez that's all

I know slapbox king let's go yeah we're gonna be right back. It is the Bond Facts. The Bond Facts? Yeah. And now, back to the Bond Facts, with Big J. Ocarus in, a dance odor. What is this the B2 actually? This is like a kid song or something. It's like following the track though. Oh, there's a new song, do I think? No, I'm saying this. Like the tune a child song. It's definitely not any raffee.

Raffee wouldn't do that. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. I'm telling it's ripped off. Jeremiah, what? Oh, that's totally original in every way. Yeah? Yeah. Looking up, Jacob.

It's a fine, good one. If it's stolen, go let Sean pull himself. I'm gonna go bite his cheek off in the game. Jeremiah walk is hanging out. His new series stand up on the spot is on YouTube. Plus he got the scissors bros and Jeremiah Wonders podcast Jeremiah at Jeremiah stand up on social media Jeremiah's J E R E M I A H the

Bible way. The holy way. The weeping prophet way. He's. The Bible Way. The Holy Way. The Weeping Prophet Way. He's doing the Bible Way. Which is fine. We find Jacob a thaw. Get busy. Look at young Sean Paul, dude. Ooh.

Young Sean. What are we looking at this for? Yeah, why are you watching the video? Jacob didn't hear that request. Oh, I'm sorry. You must have had your head up your ass. Was your head up your ass, Jacob? We just want to see if this song's based on anything. What are you talking about? I don't know. I think that was actually Jacob. What are you talking about?

Yeah, it's still great. Do something resembling anything. Perfect. We're trying to get Johnny Depp on the show. Yeah, in the town, one of the town coordinators was like, there's zero chance. And they started giving heat to Jacob and Jacob hit him with. Do something resembling anything? Do you see those names by the way? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my favorite. No one got me a legitimate first time you played it. I thought I was like, all right, Jacob. We're all on zoom. Yeah, dude. We got different drops. When they're in the studio and they're on the mic, you can sometimes be tricked into thinking people said that. Of course.

Zoom, it was a lot easier. You'd get- Well, you get the quality difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that sounds too studio-quality. He'd pull a drop and you'd be like, did you say that? And the first time he hit it with the,

yeah! Yeah. Yeah. I feel it's on zoom and you're like, damn, dude. It's perfect. It really is perfect. I mean, it's already crazy how much I've forgotten

that time period of all of us being like, all right, then I got to zoom into a podcast at 4 p.m. And then I can't leave the house. So I got to zoom into another podcast at 7 p.m. And then I'll have a bowl of mac and cheese. And then I'm gonna watch 18 episodes of Supernatural. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're probably blocking part of that.

Yeah, absolutely. Like years later, we'll be like, we went through something kind of strange. Yeah, I think we're probably blocking part of that. Yeah, absolutely. Years later, we'll be like, we went through something kind of strange. That was crazy. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. pandemic in March of 2020 were like, how sick would it be if we just like had to stay inside for two weeks and play video games? And then it was a year and a half and then you were like, oh, then everything would change for you.

Yeah, oh fuck. I've said it a thousand times, but it went especially my block. I lived on it went from Baron empty. I mean, not a person on the street or really allowed on the streets at about 10 o'clock in line on a Saturday to Black Lives Matter protests in the streets helicopters circ 10 o'clock in the night on a Saturday to black lives matter of protests in the streets helicopter circle on the block fences up built up in front of our block to because of police station was on our block. Yeah. And they were in defense mode and all the stores run getting windows smacked.

It was nuts. It went from nothingness. Still quiet. Nothingness to that overnight all night like hearing. Helic I was crazy. I still have how so yeah I'm still super I'm still super appreciative to be on the road again I mean that's like we're like this yeah yeah maybe we are back they're citing we are doing still in this in a memory the way a place reminding you like

remember last time you hear the hockey rink Glass was up and I was like oh, yeah, I mean I'm super excited. I'm working Columbus, so high oh in the early 2023 in early morning But that was the only time I've worked it was it was every day the subway glass. I know is that art? No, it's 55 It's forgot a minute a half chill chill. Sorry Chill out This when you wake up like 20 minutes before you're off dude. It's a Columbus was cold. Oh, yeah cold Snowy Columbus weekend Midwest and those glass partitions were up on every row Looking like a subway one minute one minute left in Dan's story. Oh, yeah Jeremiah walkins has the awesome standup on the spot on YouTube go check it out

It's a comic show come up with bits immediately. I love having you guys on the show I've done it in LA. It was very fun. Cesar Bros The podcast and the Jeremiah Wonders podcast both available where you download any and all podcasts and check them out on social media at Jeremiah's stand-up. Big J, go into the mile high city, Denver, Colorado. This Thursday through Saturday at one of the greatest clubs in the world, Denver comedy works downtown. Healy, oh, are you lying? Why'd you call after her? Don't get me up there, shut up, dude, I'm sucking in air, I think I love it club. Shut up, dude. I have a second in air because I love it so much. I tell them. Philly, he's coming home next week Wednesday. Wednesday, Friday, Saturday at Helium, Big J comedy, dot com for tickets.

Dan Soder, Mark Reley's comedy castle this weekend, Thursday through Saturday, after that he's going to be in Houston, Brooklyn, and Philadelphia for tickets and all tour dates. Of course, go to dansoder.com. We love you guys. Jeremiah, thanks so much for coming on the show, dude. Thanks so much for having me, guys. Love you guys, dude. Love you too. I'll see you guys in a little bit. Happy Thanksgiving. Bobby Kelly in tomorrow. for having me, buddy. Love you guys. Love you too.

I'll see you guys in a little bit. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. Bye, be killing tomorrow. Love you guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Hey guys, thanks for listening to the podcast. And always remember, you can go to

seriousexm.com slash bonfire for a special offer to hear us on the actual radio as well. you