The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Keep Me Searching for a Heart of Gold (feat. Josh Adam Meyers)

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

Comedian Josh Adam Meyers joins The Bonfire and tells the campers about the woman with a heart of gold he met while performing shows on the road. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder..." for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@JoshAdamMeyer www.JoshAdamMeyers.com #CrackleCrackle 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. You can go to seriousexam.com slash Bonfire for a special three month offer. The Thumbfire. Welcome to the Bond Fire on Faction Talk Series XM 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. O. Chris didn't got the crew. He was our first guest, and he's our first return guest. From the 500 podcast, please welcome back, Josh Adam Myers. It's Zaviyah, snap dude, we do, do.
Starting point is 00:00:43 You did it. Man, oh man, chef. It's what a way to honor international women's day. What we're talking about the hooker with the heart of gold Well, let's just start by saying family meeting time Jay family meeting time. Yeah, it's a family meeting time. We need to talk to the campers because just a handful Yeah, it's a family time. We need to talk to the campers because just a handful. Well, just a handful and Couple you guys. Hey step aside real quick. We didn't run the we didn't run the terms of service We didn't run the terms of service by people on the new channel We had we had a we had a kind of an agreement on the old channel and we've we're on a new channel So now it's time to have a new agreement with our with the campers
Starting point is 00:01:24 You bring this someone's attention that we're laughing at them. And then it's not funny if you have to see that person. So we are just a bunch of gab and bitches here on the show. They'll mistake this for bravery or or chest out. It's Gabby bitchy judgment in the confines of our little world of you people listening And if you bleed that out into the real world people's feelings are gonna get hurt even prostitutes so You certainly don't expect I also think there's a lot of it about this show is We're genuinely friends and we talk and joke around about stuff that sometimes you're like yeah
Starting point is 00:02:04 If I heard that, that would probably really fucking bum me out. If it was like, hmm. We go, we do this to people all the time, but we don't expect them to hear it and come back and be like, hey, that genuinely hurt my feelings. So Josh was at House of Comedy this weekend in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Starting point is 00:02:21 He discussed on an earlier episode last week on the Wednesday episode about was going to meet up with a lady of the night. Hooker with the heart of gold. Hooker with the heart of gold and you met up with her. And she approved, seems like she approved that term. Yeah, if you can get it, if you can get to hooker with the heart of gold a couple of times, I'll knock 50 dollars off your bill. Hook up. Hook up. Hook up.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I have to say this guys, I have to start up because there is 100% positivity. She is listening to this right now. She's following the bonfire, fucking Twitter. She I didn't think she knew how to work Twitter. I thought she only. Oh, Oh, Well, I'll say if she when is day you do this if she is listening I will say I'll be out in Minneapolis again
Starting point is 00:03:12 I would never talk about you like that I just want to tell her I just want to pretty I just try to keep white nighting everyone I just want to let her know when I see Josh. I'm gonna really rough him up That it wasn't cool. I you know, I said to him before we talked about it I was like is it cool. I don't know if it's cool to do this and he was like let's go for it No, all right Grimp it in rip it baby. Let's talk about it. Feeling shmelons. Yeah, whatever she She's got she got Kevla over her with her life experiences
Starting point is 00:03:44 She she's got she got Kevla over her with her life experiences I mean whatever happens happens as long as the booty cheeks keep clapping you know what I'm playing y'all Am I right? Am I right Josh was like guys she heard us and I genuinely was like One of my favorite things is Josh from day one didn't even have Say what he made his own handful of hilarious mistakes in this one, which was great. One, I don't know what he did. He was hanging out with her from early on day one. Day one, she was already there. He was on the fence about hanging out at all.
Starting point is 00:04:18 It became a weekend. This was pretty woman, dude. And Josh was the woman. He was a taken care of all weekend. Josh was a prostitute. I Was the prostitute this weekend. She was extremely sweet. I have to say that because she generous Generate I mean, dude. She waited in line to get me a juicy Lucy and then and then gave me the juicy Lucy in the bedroom later Like she did what it's
Starting point is 00:04:45 Experience the bedroom later like she did what it's what you know you know you know a friend experience 100 percent hang on a second Josh I didn't know what a juicy Lucy was then weirdly he said to me I was watching man versus food yesterday yeah it was just on my TV and I was going holy shit they were describing what a juicy Lucy was Christine bring up a juicy Lucy it's look it really does sounds like it looks pretty fantastic it sounds like something I would definitely pay $70 for and nothing. It was incredible. I'm saying nobody I'm saying a sex act. Not sure. Oh, oh yeah, juicy Lucy. Yeah, for sure Just a quick juicy Lucy. I'm out of here. These make it pop pretty quick If you can give me a juicy Lucy, I'll just I'll give you cash right now. If not, I got a buddy juicy look
Starting point is 00:05:25 It's got a cheese inside Tell you it was and so it's one of those it's one of those places with a line all the time No, there's some famous pub called like Matt's bar some shit like that and You can get them all over Minnesota, but that's like the originator of it and so she went there and but that's like the originator of it. And so she went there and and and got it for me and brought it. And then on Sunday when it all fell apart because it was I was texting all you guys that it's falling apart. I was like, yo, dude, the campers are blowing this up because I would be, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:57 there was a shitload of campers, shitload of scanks fans, crab fees fans, everybody there, they would come up to me and they would be like, dude, we're so excited for the show tonight. And then she'd be sitting in the background and they would be like they do we're so excited for the show tonight and then she'd be sitting in the background and they'd be like is that the lady of the night and I I'm gonna shut up get shut up that's our day that's that's the air that she knows you know she knows you know but Josh kept reading me text this weekend that we're so funny was he had to keep I'll tell you what when he got a here's where Josh got greedy.
Starting point is 00:06:27 When he got away with it the first time he should have just been like and then that's it. We're not hanging anymore. She'd be like, Hey, were you saying something on a podcast or you go, No, it's like something about the lady of the night thing. And I was like, dude, tell her you tell her that's what you call comedy. My sweet miss. Yes, the lady comedy oh I do a poem every ever said to say I watch our lady of the night remember the in punchline there was the old maim to the poem
Starting point is 00:06:55 right he was the sweet mistress that is comedy yeah I thought she had no idea because I thought I was like dude either I am the greatest liar in the world Or it's just like she just has she has no idea and and and when you were talking about listen like I'll say this like the Thursday night it went down we hung out after the show Came back to the room and it was great and then the next day I was, well, I have to work on my tonight show packet. Idiot. Yeah. I know.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I know. Idiot. I did well. It was funny. There was a time we were actually at this convenience store. She's giving her ride home because the thing is, they put me in a hotel far off the beaten path in the Mall of America.
Starting point is 00:07:38 So either I had to walk or the manager gave me a ride. And she kept being like, oh, damn, baby, I just forgot. I got to do a packet for real time with Bill Maul. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I go, what is the packet exactly? He goes, oh, what would that be? Maybe some monologue, something.
Starting point is 00:07:54 And I got a dude dad for the band. I got caught, listen Jay, I got caught in the lie because we were at some convenience store buying like, you know, I'm highest fuck, I'm buying gummies and fucking chips, all the shit that I need late night. And we're talking about how she is a friend that's a comic that writes on a big show.
Starting point is 00:08:12 And I go, yeah, he was a great comic, but he went into fucking writing. I was like, I just would never do that. And then she was like, I thought you had to do a tonight show packet. And I was like, well, I do, but I'm helping a friend with it really because I don't ever want to see it around. It's not my digs, baby, I do, but I'm helping a friend with it really because I don't ever want to do that. It's not my digs, baby.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm a stage man. Yeah. Do you get in caught as you're just grabbing an oversized bag of funnions and just looking at her in the eyes and to go, well, we all make tough decisions. We work out. We work, baby. But that's the best part is like, so it'll get to it that you said you have to do a packet for tonight's show.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Why that's becomes a thing. So she comes out two, three nights. She, she didn't come. So Thursday night we hung out Friday. She didn't come, but she, she, she was like, hey, I'll pick you up from the club and take you home. And I was like, great. And she came home and like, it was actually chill. Like she probably like a shitload of weed. We got highest fuck. And then I just like fell asleep. And then she like, whoa, and I told her like that night.
Starting point is 00:09:15 I was like, yo, if you can, like, you know, I'm kind of like a morning sex dude. If you want to just wake me up with a beach. That's just like that. Dude, you should have sat on the air. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's what I'm saying. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:09:30 That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:09:38 That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it., my hands. It's a very cool brew. It is a very weird thing to go. FYI, loves include
Starting point is 00:09:52 morning be getting sucked off with the sunrise. Josh, I'm always curious about this. Did you shit while she was in the room? No. No, I couldn't even I couldn't even imagine like that when you said she came back and you just she just spent the night You didn't fuck I'm like what the hell what the fuck is that about Would you guys do fuck us just talked about life and had $4 diet coax. I was actually wrote three songs I was actually quite interested to I asked her a bunch of questions like about how she got into it and like what letter in doing. Well, do you just see what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah, we were meant toward by one of the greats or did you just get into this yourself? Did you know you had a natural town? It's how long? How long we on the amateur circuit for? How do you change your pride? How do you know when it's time to step up does the market dictate? Well, you decide it's time for me to be $400 is there sort of a no pen? Is there a pimped draft with a like in the third round Fuzzy bearer takes Charlotte Round fuzzy bear takes Charlotte
Starting point is 00:11:07 Oh, hey, baby. That's why I was hoping to fall. Hey Hey new day So you guys just stayed up all night talking to me and the excess is always We ordered we got high she had got me food. I ate the food. I fell asleep. I woke up To a night. I like to fight you fell asleep. You start fading while she's telling you hook her story She goes and that's when he pulled out and came on my butt and his friend Okay He's just for head. Yeah, she goes and then he boosts and then I took a hot shower and washed off the shame. So I'm stuck in the alley.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Miguel's got a blade on. He's spinning. I got the cash. We got back to the stash house. And then I scored the cash got back to the stash house And that's when I Having happening and juicily a double bag All right, you ready for next up on the jam
Starting point is 00:12:35 Weak you with a B job maybe you don't mind You and then by the way Josh when you told us that Jay and I were hanging out watching UFC and we were doing you trying to wake her up to get your blowjob This is best you stop my Just the else how to go no thank you no thing that was house keeping there's coming back anyways. Oh you're good We're good. We're good Anyways, oh you're good. We're good. We're good. I said workers. I don't need anybody knocking Josh. Oh, you're up. Oh, I mean, a waky baby. That's the best thing I'm going into you. I said, I'm going to do you. What do you want to do? She is. And then eventually the brand marks cooled off and the burns were permanent and that's
Starting point is 00:13:26 what I knew I was Dave on Skull. Hooker bedtime stories is so fucking funny. It's so funny she has. So then remember remember that Sandra she had had my strip of street and I was like this hooker I'm getting this so I took a little bit of a shiv And I got her right in the ribs and then she had to go to the hospital and then it was my strip of land Sweep prints pulls up the blanket The guy tried to the guy pulled that an envelope opener The guy pulled that an envelope opener, but it looked pretty sharp and he had to my throat, but what he didn't know is right outside the door, my friend Corinne was waiting and she had a gun and then we robbed him.
Starting point is 00:14:15 She got the gun. I said, and then I said, take your pants off and then I sucked his dick and as I was Rodrigo and Rusty Kevin came in and beat up a pipe and we rolled That's when we all got burgers He died several hours later at the hospital And his wife had to come pick up his wallet from the motel That you put the covers over his neck. Get some rest. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh, man, I'll wake you up. I'll wake you up sucking you off in the AM. Sweet, sweet, sweet angel. How did it work, Josh? Did you actually, were you woken up to it or did you wake up and then try to get her? It was kind of like a mishmash of that, like where I was kind of like up and I was like, oh, shit. Just scooch we have to bend,
Starting point is 00:15:08 just drop your underwear wang on her face. Oh, yeah. So it just happened organically, I'd say organically, it just kind of, you know, she already knew that there's no hormones or anything. That's good. That's good. That's good.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Did it have to spiker with some chemicals? And so that night, so then that night, she was like, she was like, oh, can I come to the show tonight? Or and I was like, yeah, that's fine. And she brought some friends and they came to the show and then on Sunday, this is things. Like, this is what I was talking about.
Starting point is 00:15:38 She's so sweet. Like, she fucking like, I wanted breakfast and I need coffee and I'm staying off campus. So she was like, yeah, I'll take you to go to IHOP to pick up food, took me to go get coffee, I bought her coffee, she'd drop me back off at home. And then midday she was like, she was like, hey, can I talk to you about something?
Starting point is 00:15:56 And I'm like, yeah. Yeah, but I said, yeah, what is it? And she's like, I'll just talk to you about it later. And then we had the show, I had the show Sunday night. And she can. What's wrong, did you lose a ring in my butthole? That morning beach went double input. He goes, that knock one of your tonsils down into your tummy. What's wrong, did you have to go drink charcoal to get all the
Starting point is 00:16:20 come out of your belly from my massive morning load? Oh, morning little Kim. I heard you had aviars in the park and then they had to make me drink charcoal in the emergency room to get all the different guys from the bachelor party's commas with me. I woke up and I realized I wasn't in jail. I was in rehab. So the funny thing was it wasn't cocaine. It was methamphetamine and that's why we stabbed him. So the guy, the guy in the red catalac asked for a $40.5 and a half. I'm sucking him off and I realize his buddies in the back seat. I pulled out my Saturday night special and took out his knee. Look at you. What a sweet angel. You had a rough day. Oh, man. So when she calls you midday,
Starting point is 00:17:14 are you do you have any idea what's coming? Do you have any idea what's coming? I mean, at a certain point, bro, well, hold on, Josh, you had gotten through it twice. You had you had traversed Josh. Did she go to her appointments appointment at all because I beg to see her leaving your place no like a wait wait a second wait I want to say something like a district attorney who's like running late she's in the car with that that shitty shaver but she's doing her box me she's like oh I can't show I can't show up like this She's like the McNulty's
Starting point is 00:18:02 I'm run so badly no, so I'm gonna I'm gonna pick that up exactly what you're saying because she can't saw all of her appointments the, right? So she can be available for me. And I'm sorry, I get the thought of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:16 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:24 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'mclock and she does the right with the reason. This is man in 11. Yeah, she's just this thing and she's like, oh no, sugar shanes gonna kill me. So she canceled all of her appointments for you. Cancer all of her appointments. She said, she said she canceled. First of all, no idea, 100% but she says it. And this came up later. This came up later where, so on Sunday she goes, yo, I want to talk to you about something.
Starting point is 00:18:50 I had an audition so I was like, I got him working on this and I was like, do we call you later? She goes, no, I'll just talk to you about it tonight. Do you need me to grab anything? And then I was like, yo, can you grab me another juice and Lucy and she was like, whatever you want. And I had to. You're so confident, dude, that you didn't even,
Starting point is 00:19:06 I would have assumed this was a talk. She wants to have a talk with me. I'm like, she's got something weird's coming. Do you want me to grab you? Somebody goes, yeah, go wait and lie on for that one special thing that's way out of your way. That would bring you. You know what I'd like to owe you more.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Hey, could you give me vaccinated? Preferably before yourself. So, so the show's over. It's Sunday night. She's like, yo, would you want to go back to your room and hang out? Or do you just want to me to drop you off? And I'm like, well, I got a early flight tomorrow. So just probably drop me off.
Starting point is 00:19:40 So then we get in the car. Everything's normal. Everything. No, in a city, nothing that's making me think that what's about to happen is about to happen. Your heart's about to jump into your throat, dude. That's what's about to happen. Bro, we pull up to my hotel and she goes, so am I coming up or am I dropping you off and I go, are you just dropping me off? And then I still remember that feeling. It's like the car slams into park and she just goes,
Starting point is 00:20:05 like turns me, she goes, I heard the episode of the bonfire. And I'm like, Hey, camper. Yeah. You done a big great is that moment, you just went, crackle crackle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Crackle crackle, what's up? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, they're bad. They got great chemistry, right? Yeah. I missed those two. She was anyway, what's up, what's up, I'm like, yeah, they're bad. They got great chemistry right? Yeah, I miss those two. She was anyway what you said he goes, I know those guys, the back of the Voli is just amazing comedian. It's trying to keep talking with the benefits of the show. Jacob's a laugh, right? With, with, he's a master. Just a genius.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Oh, the boss. Dude, so she and she just starts reciting every single thing that we said You're all she you're not gonna eat my pussy. You're not gonna. You're gonna double rap mitt double rap it You're only gonna hang out with me on Thursday night. Where you like? Where you like for the record? I didn't eat you pussy I wasn't lying tell me one place where I lied. Now you tell me all those things sound above boarded to this old dog. Why those are just traveling rules. You ain't nothing special. Damn man. So was she. Oh Oh dude, and I immediately
Starting point is 00:21:26 Cuz dude I just I just had to take it I had literally Your face was the course I was dead or she had me dead to rights cuz dude I know I tell you really the thing that gave it away There's a fan. I'm gonna fuck his name up, but he's he's a it's like cripple or something He's a skanks fan. Do you know I'm talking about But he he posted a photo with me and then a bunch of campers underneath it because I retweeted it said is that you know Did you see the lady of the night there? Oh, yeah, and I wrote like a fucking dumbass. I was like yeah, the cripple was my hooker like and then that was I think is the thing
Starting point is 00:22:02 That that gave it away because she was on her phone looking at social media the whole time The whole weekend. That's you know, it's her business like she's you know, she's a porn star So she hey look at this sick ass staking bet to crush over the outback if anybody wants me I'm doing two for ones for the next three hours I got a little time to kill a mall of America Anybody ever get sucked off in a Lego closet. Mimi at the John Budges if you want an over. Dicks last resort isn't just a restaurant.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Come see me boys. Did she? I mean, first off, I want to say, you know, as we said at the beginning of the hour, we were joking around and I mean, I felt bad when you Like, the thing you always got to say, it's completely a fictitious person to us in the sense that like bringing it up, we're talking about a Carra, you know, the idea of these things, I say this again to the crowds for this gabbling bitches that we are. We don't want actual conflicts. We're shit talking behind
Starting point is 00:23:07 backs, man. Grow up. Well, that's, it's, it's, but it's the thing we've explained about Corey Feldman several times. It's like, we have no problem with the fact that Corey Feldman hates us as us blocked on social media because we understand it. We have ripped his music to shred because we were a fan of his acting and then we felt like he was so egotistical about his music that we made fun of it from a very real place. We don't know this woman.
Starting point is 00:23:33 We just know the story that you told us and the reveal that she did a little while, you know. Dan, this is what I said to her. I was like, listen, we were just trying to fill time. You know, we're trying to be funny. We didn't even know that. That's a bit of a stretch. Because we were, we were grab it at straws.
Starting point is 00:23:53 It certainly wasn't the very first thing we talked about. And then changed our course for the entire next hour. I'm not gonna lie, the show was terribly produced. They don't stick to topics. They drag on drag on they bring their friends personal shit in Jacob look lost lose over there just in nicotine heaven Chris dance in a room like a god damn wicket and last time I Who's the new who's the newbie So but no, I said to her. I was like and she's like yes, and I you know, I you know I she's like I told you that like, yes. And I, you know, I, she's like,
Starting point is 00:24:25 I told you that in like confidence because like I thought, you know, you could, I was being very vulnerable. And I go, no, I understand. I go, but you have to keep in mind. You didn't say you were an escort. You literally wrote, I am a hooker. And was funny and I told Jay about that and then Jay wanted to he brought it up and it was like I knew there would be some there I didn't know you I did go with the most hilarious word. I'm a big-dain cook person so I know what punch I know If I would have said I'm an escort. It's not as funny as I'm a hooker or whatever she was I want something to hit man I think I did it. I think I did a good job. Yeah. Were you in the car when this was happening and what was her next to her level? So I so how did she direct it at you? Great question. I mean she she raised her voice the entire time.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah, it was like I do I just I'm just taking fucking bullets to the chest bro and also probably other dudes come spittle He's now's not the time to tell you your breath smells like dick. Yeah, uh something bleach and salty just hit my shirt Something's got a thing and I I just take it and I say to her. I'm like, nope you're 100% right. She's like you lied to me She goes she has how is the tonight show to her, I'm like, nope, you're 100% right. She's like, you lied to me. She goes, she goes, how is the tonight show packet? And I'm like, yeah, that was a pretty show. I was like, yeah, and you doubled down on it at the convenience store. Yes, I did.
Starting point is 00:25:55 I did. I did. Was there graffiti on it? She's beautiful. She's a beautiful young woman. And she's a heart of gold and She's very successful and whatever she goes into Ladies and gentlemen hit the Royal Orbison here comes my lady
Starting point is 00:26:20 Guess who's in LA with me now. Oh my god, where'd you guys meet big this? Well, I'm in Minneapolis itching for a juicy Lucy prostitute comes up gives me one wakes me up with a blowjob Unapologized and now she plays now she plays tambourine in the GD band. I didn't need a pussy, but however, I did I Did catch a back rub. I laid out the back. She read me out. She gave me a prostitute bedtime story. If this girl, I'll be honest with you, Josh, staying deep touch with her. If she reaches out to say that the prostitute bedtime
Starting point is 00:26:57 story, if she could tell you, she can look you in the face and tell you that's not a funny bit, then don't talk to her anymore anyway. Yeah. I did. That's too funny. Hey, then don't talk to her anymore anyway. Yeah, I didn't idea it. That's too funny. Dude, hey, this is how it ended, okay? I completely said like, I understand it. Yeah, you're already past it, dude.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Oh yeah, I'm just letting you know that she's very sweet. And if you admit a half a leg, we got it hooker heart escort hit her up. Hooker hooker, hooker heart of gold TM trademark. Hard to go. Hard to go. Very sweet, you know, but that being said, she got mad at me. She's like, you know, I can't hold.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I can't hold a bunch of appointments for you. Like I fucking you know much money I lost to hang out with you and I did all this stuff. I was like, Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. And I said, listen, I am. I am like, no, you're right, you're right, you're right. And I said, listen, I am,
Starting point is 00:27:47 I am like, I am so sorry. Just know that I feel horrible. And comically, this is gonna come back to me. Something will happen to me. And I said, and for that, I am so, so, so sorry that I hurt you. Cause she even said, she's like, you know what, like, here we go, like, I'm you know what like you already came back on you dude it already came back on you another world class appearance on the bonfire buddy you're right yes you're really paying the
Starting point is 00:28:12 price for it and then she and then she goes she got after she goes all right well I accept your apology and she goes do you you want to go upstairs and have makeup sex and I go now I'm gonna go upstairs and just go to bed. Right now she's going to host a headboard for some fucking Eastern European business guy. I was tired. I had nothing to do with her. I was exhausted. I thought I found the one this weekend, but he just looked at me like another prostitute
Starting point is 00:28:41 again. Yeah. He just broke my heart on the radio. Yeah, well, don't, don't be upset with Josh. Yeah, it was awful. He swung that good day. It was our fault. We lowered him into a conversation about it, but yeah, don't. We tricked him, I'm sorry. We just tripped.
Starting point is 00:28:57 I love you guys so much, and even when she was yelling at me, I was like, I can't wait to tell Jay. 15 minutes, like. And that me, I was like, I can't wait to tell Jay. 15 minutes. Like, and that's, I love you guys. And that's when he took the knife off of the stove and drug it across from my eye to the corner of my mouth. And that's how you know your Dequan's bitch. And I learned, now I know I'm protect.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Oh, he fell asleep. Yeah, showing you the pages in the book. Now I know I'm protect oh Showing you the showing you the pages in the book she goes when they open the shipping container We knew we'd be having to hide some more in a van But then when we got to our final destination it was a house so we could be We could be Kim girls. And on average, they would say two of the girls would perish on those cross-atlantic trips, but I think the number was probably higher than one of them. And then the girl's dad was Liam Neeson. She was no longer taken. It was the guy that he was based off of.
Starting point is 00:30:06 You can catch Josh Adam Meyers March 11th through the 13th at American comedy company in San Diego. Get tickets at Josh Adam Meyers.com. Love that club. Very fun club. Big J is going to be a wise guys in Salt Lake City March 12th and 13th. This weekend. This weekend, L.O.L. and San Antonio, Texas March 18th through the 20th. And the funny bone in Columbus, Ohio, Liberty, Ohio March 25 18 through the 20th and the funny the funny bone in Columbus, Ohio Liberty, Ohio March 25 through the 27th Partickets and other Josh is gonna be there with me liberty. Oh awesome. Yeah big J comedy.com And of course listen to the 500 with Josh Adam Myers and
Starting point is 00:30:36 Listen to the soda is gonna be doing You're gonna be doing your billions thing now for a bit, but Dan's gonna be back on tour They may remove all my dates so I could thing now for a bit, but Dan's gonna be back on tour. They may be move all my dates So I could film billions because of COVID, but I said you're gonna be back on tour in May. It's what I was gonna say May I'm gonna have some dates up soon on my website. Of course always go to at dance soda and all social media and Dan Soda calm Josh. We love you. Dan. I love you. Brue Brandon everybody. We love you guys and we'll catch you back here tomorrow, same time, live from the bonfire.
Starting point is 00:31:08 You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM. Friday mornings and full shows, always on Sirius XM.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.