The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Kid n Play (with yourself)

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Jay goes to an old school hip-hop show and tries to convince Bobby that his son has discovered porn!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. O'Coursen. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. O'Coursen and Robert Kelly. Kelly Dude if I'm a dance I know I know you will What is this all I'm glad to be back everybody It's big joker sin and pillow cubes own rubber Kelly. What's come on man

Your cross-platforms now buddy. What does that mean you made've made it over to IG. No. It's not just Facebook. No. Yeah. What do you mean? There, there. Something tells me pillow cubes should be paying to put some housing on that land you got by the cliff. My, my fuck cut?

Your fuck cut. They should be really putting money in the disfuck cut because you're the spokesman for it. At least have pillows from Pill cube in the fuck at I Mean it should be furnished with pillow cube. Why are you lowering that Lou? I I got a myth though. I have I have my pillow queues up at the tiny house Of course though you're sitting there. I sleep so much better. Yeah, you can put a full-size pillow in that place It's a full-size pillow. I got the extra long pillow cube

I'm sure you go gonna have a house party and grind us in big black ass. Who is this? A full force. What is full force? They had guys from house party, Bobby. Ah, and also a singing group. What the fuck?

I am a boomer. Does this mean something to you, Lou? DJ Lou? Sure does. Fuck a fucker. I don't something to you, Lou? DJ Lou? Sure does. Fuck a black girl. I don't see you dancing, Lou. Black? Lou used to crush some black pussy.

Was that right? Did you use crushed black pussy? Or the girls you fuck used to all fuck black guys and then you. It's something like that. Oh, the latter, Jay. Oh, yeah. You used to exclusively deal with Jewish girls like to get blasted out by those thickies. That's correct.

Okay, thank you, Jacob. Nobody discriminates around me. Not talk, but hype. Yeah, good. Were you a house party guy growing up? Yeah, dude. Where are you? I don't mean the movie.

Obviously the movie yes, but were you also, did you go to house parties like dance house parties? No, I wasn't that cool. Me either, man. I was invited to maybe two parties ever. I think why I Awkwardly went and was just like oh nice people are my friends I grew up a boss and we didn't have house parties. Yeah, but you were trying to be sober by 13 15 you're already committing tribes. Yeah, we hung out at parks. Yeah, you that's the thing You have Christine of a lot in common Christine like gave up prostitution by 15

Why you didn't think I didn't in kindergarten she walked away she walked away from prostitution at 15 years old She turned her life around I think you should have stuck with it Yeah, you better career path. Oh my god. You had so much money right now. You love traveling think about how sex-traffing would have made you see the world Have you ever seen Bangkok from a cage? Full force get hype. Is this the band you went to see? There a group I wouldn't call them a band. What's the difference between a group and a band? Not in the play insurance. Okay, well there you go. That's actually very insightful singing group full force. How old are they now like 50 older than that? Oh God. No, I went to the out of breath. Yes. decided to go Friday radio city music hall had the

it was called DJ Cassidy presents past the mic live and he had 40 old school, like pretty awesome rappers come out. And like do, it was really like past the mic I like to do that in comedy clubs. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, it would be like brand do that in comedy clubs. Yeah, sometimes it's like It would be like brand newbie and everybody and they come out and do punks trip up to get beat down And then they walk off and they're like everybody black sheep and then black sheep comes out and does a there's

It's it was awesome Who was on this? Yeah, let's see here It was big daddy came Dougie fresh rock him and Rick were like, they got the most amount of time. Blacksheep, Brand newbie and CL Smooth. That was awesome. I forgot about CL Smooth. Dana Dana, I didn't see Lord of the Underground, EPMD, Fushnickins, Melly Mel, Kid and Play, Cool Movede, Curtis Blow, MC Search, so corny.

I like MC Search. You don't though. I do. No, everyone likes a couple of third bass songs. You don't like him. I like third bass. Which one is the MC search? The Jewish looking one? Yes. Okay. Well not the one with the key. You like Prime Minister Pete Nice. I like Prime Minister. But MC search. I like. No MC search wasn't a bad rapper. It's just season. The song he came out and did they said was a gas failure. Yeah, I like the gas phase.

Everyone likes the gas phase. It's a great song, but his lyrics are the most uncle Tom thing that's ever been said in all of music. And it's what he came out to do. He's a bit of a pander. Oh, is he a pander put the bring it up. But Christine bring up the video, please for a gas face and go to his verse, please. Welcome to Shimono.

I don't know. Oh, no. Yeah, hang on. and go to his verse please. Welcome to Shimmon Ali. Oh no. Yeah hang on, Kristine bring it up so we can see it. Can we hear Kristine's screen? Kristine you're doing any way all the way up. I like third bass one. I love one of my favorite bands.

One of my favorite rap bands. Groups. Groups? Sorry. I hate you. Yeah! Listen to that. He's on the screen Kristine. I like that. get it to the part

I give you guys full credit for staying together and doing a radio show together I mean this is a deal but you forgot Gilbert Godfried. I think you would have said, if Don was in that seat, we'd be divorced. I'd be like, fucking push that button! What you think you figure it out? I forgot Gilbert Godfried was down with third base. Just go right to time, just go right to time, and you know what the point is. Do you think he was too old to realize how cool this was at the moment?

Do you think he was too old to realize how cool this was at the moment? X. The Puma sweats. This can't go back earlier. I feel like he's speaking to me. I'm eyes. Nice. I come in a group. Yes. Yes. Test me. Facially. Third base like two.

They were respected for some reason. But then their big thing was pop goes the weeds where they make fun of vanilla ice, which was such an easy target. Well, they also got no big thing with hammer, too, right? Yes, they also didn't like MC Hammer. But hammer actually, MC Hammer was going to kill him. Like he rolled up on him. Like he was going to take him out. So he rolled up on him like he was gonna take him out He rolled up on you go forward a bit Christine. I'm sorry. I know I know I know I'm not a fucking boomer

I know about this shit turn it up Here we go MC search Let's see search Your dad emcee search my expression to the mountain is blue eyes Demisee search Dean You guys look like it works at the diamond district If the whole salt his whole verse is just like black people please like me I'm not one of those people who says mean things. I don't even know what the N word me

I He is full white right yeah, yeah, he's Jewish, right? He's Jesus the God's face man. Next up Don, a special appearance by KMD's Zelom X. Who would he be before? This poor guy. He probably thought this was the beginning of the everything. It gave me a guess, it would be like when two pocketed that one thing

on digital underground. He is of Jewish descent. Yeah. What a weak pimps. That's true. MC Sir, tell people to step off still my favorite thing. You think you're gonna be the next white rapper? Step off! And then you make you throw your shoes up in the thing. Is it weird when Christine highlights? He's a Jew. She puts it, she highlights it. Yeah, she hates that. Yeah, she judges that right away.

Yeah, she's weird. She's with me because I'm half Jewish. It doesn't matter what the other half is, the fact that she's half not Jewish, she's down with. That's the parts she fucks. I'm here because you're half Jewish. I like the Jew part, thank you. What's the other half?

Just like other shit, English, Italian, nonsense. My dad, dad's last name's Oakerson obviously, which was his dad's last name, but the mother's made name is Anastasi. What the fuck is that? Very Italian, yeah. Very Italian. But I didn't really grow up,

but my stepfather was like relatively Italian. He's really Italian. No, he's not. Italian's cooking shit and do carpentry. He doesn't do any of those things. He's a cook? No. No, no carpentry. He doesn't do any of those things. He doesn't cook? No. No, no, no, he's never been to cook.

His mom used to come over and cook all the time. That's Italian. That's Italian. Saus. Gravy. What the fuck is gravy? Philadelphia sauce. Gravy's brown.

Yeah, I know what you mean. That's turkey gravy or beef gravy. Yeah, that's gravy. This is gravy for the sauce. Yeah, but sauce is red. Yeah, I won't take this is gravy for the sauce. Yeah, but sauce is red. Yeah, I won't take this. I won't die on this hill. Please don't.

It's the Jimmy's and Sprinkles argument. I'm not going to, it's regional. It's like only Philly that says gravy for the sauce, I think. Go bird. Well, only awesome people from awesome places. Yeah. I mean, it depends if you come from Boston and Philly's not awesome. It's a great, a sauce usually to me connotates more

that you're dipping. Good word, connotate. What does that mean? Connotate. Connotate. Connotate, what is it? Connotate. Connotate, yeah.

Connotate. DeGravie is 100% brown. Well, it's sometimes it's tan, if it's turkey gravy. Okay, tan, I'll take a caramel. Okay. It's a gravy. Those two things for sure, beef gravy's brown. Brown and shit. Brown and a sauce take a caramel. Okay. Is a gravy. Yeah, those two things for sure, beef gravy's brown, brown and shit. Brown and a sauce is red.

Is it red sauce? Really? Yeah, 100%. Isn't it now? Yeah. Okay. 100%. What's garlic sauce then?

Garlic sauce is a, garlic sauce is a white sauce. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's a white sauce. I like watching the gears turning. Yeah. It's a white sauce. I like watching the gears turning. Yeah. It's a, I got this, you got this, Bob. I mean, dude, gravy is 100% brown.

It's brown. Sure. But I feel like- It's a stick and cheese, cheese, steak argument. Sure, man. Yeah. Well, Boston makes a better steak and cheese than Philly.. Boston only makes chicken cheese. Philly makes cheese steaks, because we don't just try to say something different to be different. So dumb.

I don't think it's like calling like it's going to call them pizza round pies. You guys got round pies, pizza. That's a New York thing. We call round pies here. What do you call it? What do you call pizza and nothing in Philly? Pizza. Okay. It's my point. You changed the name of a cheese stick to make it like oh this is our thing Staking cheese. Yeah, you're like vanilla ice stealing that song under pressure Only funny Italians in this country go out of their way to call tomato sauce gravy anyway only hilarious Italians. Yeah, what does that mean? You think nobody calls it that. You think it's gravy? What no tomato sauce is tomato sauce. Thank you. All right. Thank you. What about you, Lou? Do you think it's a gravy or a sauce?

It's well if it's just tomato sauce sure you can call tomato sauce, but It's not we're talking about here. We're talking about some rib bones sitting in that thing for a while. Yeah So that can makes it a gravy when you put meat and stuff in it. Who puts rib bones in a sauce? Real Italians that honor from stupid Boston. They're first of all, that's ridiculous. No one takes Boston Italian cereal. We only respect the Irish from Boston.

First of all, Boston has a better Italian neighborhood than the New York 100% Okay, New York City Italian neighborhood of Chinese. I'm gonna fuck about New York either I'm gonna go to New York. I had to go to New York because Philly does have a great Italian section Philly has a monster Italian section. It doesn't have a monster, it has the same size as Boston. Italian market, but it's a- They're pretty much the same thing. Okay, but did they ever make a movie about the Filly mob?

Yes. What? Uh, there's a tenth in a wolf. That's all? Okay. That hit. Not as good, no, no, no, listen. Boston, you throw in some dropkick merrfys. I watch those fucking mid cops go at each other all day long

I love it. I love a good Boston crime story. Mystic River. Come on now Absolutely now filly movies are into being that one about the rich guy who started Fucking wrestling camp so we can molest adults We ordered fucking wrestling camps so we can molest adults. What's his name? Foxcatcher. Get the one. Yeah. He just fucking wanted to touch up on gigantic men that kick his ass.

That was his kink. He was like, he'd wrestle with them so they could beat him up because he just liked that. That's my kink. If you're from Philadelphia, you know gravy as the sauce you put on your spaghetti. Yeah, it's ridiculous. The definition of is a finished sauce consisting of juices from something cooked typically meat, hens your rib bones. It's rock-o from Philly. Christine, please. It could be a vegetable, fruit, and fat and flour to answer your question. Christine, yes, rock-o-izz from Philly. And that's why he calls it the gravy.

Yeah, but rib bones, rib bones are going to sauce. Rib bones. Sure, not when you pour it out, you eventually take those things out. But you put a pork, you put pork, you put meat balls, you put sausage, into a sauce. Absolutely. A rib bone is a totally different place. A rib is a rib. No, no, no, people put like,

no, people put like short ribs in there and like to let the bone fall out. Oh, I'm gonna cook it down. Well, probably not where you come from since an Irish place. It's not an Irish is the time. I'm asking where to put my potatoes on a plate of cabbage and corn, but if I'll come to you, Jay, a Boston has a, the north end of Boston is a huge Italian section of town. Sure. No one respects it.

Probably the Irish kids go for target practice. Oh my God. Go work out their freckly rage on those fucking Alex skin Italians. This is what the fuck are you laughing at? That is fall or Bobby and Jay were the best were the funniest comedy duo in radio. Have you heard us? Have you heard us yet?

We have a podcast by the way. We have a podcast also. Lou wrote some great copy for us. We should read, we throw it out, didn't we? Boston has better mob movies, more mob movies and better mob movies than Philly. I don't know, look at Philly mob movies. Is that it?

Brothers by blood, I never even heard of that. Well, you had a mayor bomb an entire city block. We did, that's pretty bad ass. Black mayor bombed black people and just leveled the entire a few city blocks. That was pretty cool. I do. Pretty awesome. The man hat. What was that called? What was that called? Move. What's called?

It was called a move. I know. It's just the way he said it was. I move. I move. I move. It would have been a good word for the bee. Yeah. You guys go down and watch me. What was the movie about that? What was that called? The Philadelphia. I don't know if I know. What was the movie about that? What was that called? I don't know if I know. I don't know if I know. No, the PhotoFi experiment.

Yeah, was that what that was about? No, that's not what that's about. What was the movie about? I think it's about nuclear shit, isn't it? PhotoFi experiment. I don't fucking know. What the fire burn? That's a documentary.

But man, there's a couple of things. There you go. The tragedy of PhotoFi. I mean, they were shooting out with the cops for days I don't know it's very like they were claiming what it is a bunch of Rostafarians Started claiming like sovereign nation right and the kids were all dirty and weird and they sold drugs and they had Were armed out the fucking wazoo with guns and the cops came And they just had like a multiple day standoff with the cops like theoo with guns and the cops came and they just had a multiple day stand

up with the cops like shooting machine guns and shit outside. Right. And then Steven's a go on in and took everybody out. I think well the Steven's a go was busy. He was on a train solving a problem apparently. Um, no, and then Mayor Wilson good. Black mayor goes, yeah, yeah. Just drop a bomb on them.

And they just blew up the entire, I remember my mom and me and her, I think her boyfriend at the time. Which one? What year did we move after? The flashlight, the one that knocked on the window. Happened in 85, so I was eight, probably J.R. The radio DJ.

Oh, I'd never heard about the radio DJ. J.R. Oh yeah, my mom fucked him right and he into giving me every time I'd come home from school and go to meet her work. I meet her working the back. He goes, this is going out to J, doing his homework right now in the back of Small's Formula Wear. This is thriller. Oh, he's so crazy. Mind blow. Yeah, mom's great. Oh, yeah, yeah. She fucked a safe, she made, listen, we were never broken into, except for the one time My stepfather had the intervene right those by another guy though Yes, that was by a guy trying to get some

That was by a guy trying to get some I don't know if my mom gave him some the first time But he for some reason drunk and we thought he can get some now I think you would have to to go back and break in you would have to get some taste a little bit nectar To want to come back. He liked what he got and had to go back and break in. You would have to get some taste a little of that nectar. To want to come back. He liked what he got. He liked what he got and had to go back for some more. My mom's sweet sweet nectar, huh?

Sweet sweet nectar. Her sweet sauce. And this is back. This is, you know, that's again, this is 80s. So yeah, man. Wow. It started to fire in him. It was the late 80s.

Yeah, my mom gave it to him good, I guess. Yeah, she's good. She is good. She got a great gravy. Several police. Now, there's, yeah, while there's plenty of rib bone in that thing, if you know what I'm saying. We do.

And I think you do. If you know what I'm saying, and I think you do. I think Boston may have been a more interesting place to grow up than a... It was very segregated. It was very, back when I grew up, it was the Irish Rover there, the Italians were over there,

the blacks were over there, and it wasn't just in Boston, it was every Medford, at least some of every town was segregated. Like, that's interesting. See, I didn't, well, maybe it is better that I was in Philly, because I actually, I never felt that. interesting. See, I didn't, I maybe it is better that I was in Philly, things like that.

I actually, I never felt that. I'm not saying there wasn't like, again, it's so funny what would be deemed like racism now. Like, this, our school was black, what, you know what I mean? Like, everybody was there together. How school was? No, I'm saying our school was, and everybody just mixed, like friends were all over the plate.

You know what I mean? No, school was segregated. I remember my school was segregated. Like we had a, my first girlfriend was black. Not so you mean integrated, integrated, sorry integrated. But the town itself was segregated. I got you, I'm saying, but ours, that sort of was a thing, but there was definitely just black people kind of lived. It was a little split.

Like I remember when a black... Labor hoods wise, but I'm just saying like if it made sense, no one thought about it, but you still had that thing of like well, it's not walked down those streets Right now, you know, I mean like that's like that that's the black neighbor and they might fuck with you Just because you're a goofy white kid walking through but it never affected our day-to-day thoughts of anybody. Do you know what I mean? Well, we had a black family move on in our neighborhood next to my grandparents. Oh Christ and Black family moved in our neighborhood next to my grandparents. Oh, Christ.

And when happens next your sister's pregnant. No, we had to tell our grandfather. Your mom's grandma's ring's gone. Well, my grandfather would be sitting in the backyard and he'd be like, yeah, the colored family next to me, like, go, pop, pop, pop, pop. You can't, you can't say that. And he's like, why?

Because he just didn't understand. We're like, you can't say that anymore. And he was like, well, they're kind of up and go get me some more twine for this news. That's why. Yeah, but we had North Medford was Irish. South Medford was Italian. West Medford was a mix, but the Dugor Park was with the Black

people lived. Now it's not like that. No, it's not like that at all. Now it's just all rich people. But whole thing. Dude, South Boston is all, as you can't get a house there. Charlestown, which was the bank robbing city a capital of the country. Back in the day is all rich. You can't get a house over there now. It's all rich. The only place that huh? You store them back. Not anymore. No more banks. And then North end is the only way. Hey, I.

With AI, you might be able to. That's really cool. I'm kidding. But you can't, yeah, Boston is all, all the towns are like, just rich people now. Like my grandmother's house was $13,000 when they bought it. It's worth a million now. Really?

A million. You get a million dollars for this little shitty house. Did she rent it out for horrible accent pornography? Well, she actually worked at the rectory with the priest so no Rector am I right? Well, I don't know about that God she's so an erector wink. I winked to you It's okay, though. We don't need winks anymore. That was last now. That was last month's joke come on Hey, do you know I did some Light math in my head? Are they gonna see soul searching? No. How fast is this flown? We've been doing the show together almost five like five months now. Really? Yeah.

That's why it's going fast. It's gone fast. Crazy. You know at this concert of my cock. Nice. At this concert on Friday only because I couldn't believe it happened. I had to pull my phone out. There was a lot of people there. I was so per stoked to see. Onyx killed. They're awesome. Memoronics. I do. This can be supposed to scare the shit out of you. This concert?

Yeah. To me, it seems taxing. No. It's one song a piece essentially. It was so well run. The guy DJing actually ran the show great in the way they were coming on and off stage Like this is before my time as far as music goes It's not music that I'm necessarily into and I had a blast like I recognize some of the songs

But it just everybody sounded great. It was like every was performing great and it really was like you know It was one song for nice nice. New. I know. Was it all old people healed? No, um You know, it was one song for nice. Nice. Was it all old people? Healed. Uh, no. No. Um, older. My age and maybe a little bit older because I have far back. It went probably like you have 40s, 50s. A lot more black people than I thought we're going to be there. I feel like those shows and a lot of those shows end up being like, if we were on,

we would online yesterday and looked at naughty by Nature's 25th anniversary celebration. Yeah. The audience is entirely white. No shit. It's a entirely white. And not a good crowd. What do they just stand there? Yeah.

It's not good at all. And he rules. He came out to a trech. That guy rules. That guy's still like scary in his own weird way. Even other songs are like sort of corny Naughty by Nature. Yeah. He's always stayed like cool looking.

Yeah. Cause he's got eggs. He's got, I can smell dog shit, but I don't know where it is fish. He really does have like you stink and why are you talking to me face? Fuck, you looking at, I smell shit. Both times I've talked him though, he's been very nice. It was a sentence each time, but very nice reply. For a guy that could just be like, eh, you know,

he wasn't like that. I recorded one thing only because everything I just wanted to watch and enjoy didn't feel need to take video people. I'm sure filming it. We could watch whoever. But it's getting played came out. Very exciting. They did roll with kid and play their hit song.

Remember that? Sure. How's it going? Do you know, bro? And when you, I'm kid and you're a player. Do you remember? Yeah, well, let me finish. You remember right?

No, I can't think of it because I ain't gonna hold it. Sure, I'm gonna hold it. I'm gonna hold it. Oh, no. Yeah, so I was getting to it. You didn't get me the roll, kid and play now. Yeah, come on. I don't know what it is about this track, but I know that it's funky.

Jamie, everything. Yeah, because you're like, you're autistic with music. Yeah. Like, you're one of the smartest guys with music. Do you know nice and smooth? I want my kid to hang out with you, because he wants to go to concerts a lot. He loves music.

He gets in the car. Let's play music. He reminds me of you with songs. And he knows songs. And I don't know shit. Yeah, my daughter picked that up for me very weirdly She just like yeah, both of them they she when I'm in the car with Isabella She sings along every word to every song. Yeah, Max knows words to songs and I'm like how the fuck do you know that the words that? Because he'll hear a song and then he'll start singing it

He'll be in the backseat and I find it one of the most adorable Like fatherly things. Like, I just would love to just watch him sing songs. But even just, like, on the most basic level, like Isabella has, I think it's kind of cool. Like, she knows all the hits from, like, the Foo Fighters. I just, like, I never, like, put that in her face. Like, she just picked it up. Lexicon?

It's an Alexa-Con. Thanks. I like that. I like that, all right. Thanks. Thanks, Jake. So, yes, I was singing along with everything. Roll with Kid and Play. They start doing. And then the stage gets bum rushed. And they start the song that we began the show with, Ain't My Type of Hype, which is the dance scene, the dance battle scene from the movie House Party. Thank you, DJ Liu. You know that. you're the only one of your cares on those

We all care but he's only knows and cares and So you understand how cool this is Lou full force comes out bummer So they start playing that song and kid and plays start doing the kid and play dance That Jacobs never even fucking heard of before you fucking racist nerd nerd alert You love movie house party. I love house For then how do you not know the dance like beat you know the dance. I don't remember how to do the dance How did you the dance? Yeah, you know Jacob has a like a job, right?

So what? You home you think he had to get rid of the space where he knew what the dance was to put work stuff in there? Yeah, and his brain file If you could procrast Christine, please play this. Switch! Oh, they still got it! Kiki dance. And DJ Cassidy in his pink seat with outfit is perfect. Ain't my type, but I, oh, they kill it.

100% they got into a fight rehearsing that two days before. Dude, no, it's fucking double kicks at the end. Oh, wait, back up a little bit. They say the line from the movie altogether. Wait a minute! I smell something! I smell something! I smell! I smell Smell pussy

Yeah, of course you can there's a bunch of 50-year-old old-grandson party from house party jay come remember what's the name of the group? Full force they get hype it says it in the song don't get mad at us because we had lives full force get hype We want to jumpy-kitten filly having a gravy. Press the house party, fancy. Yeah, press it. While you're step, while you're step known as making gravy. Step known. Step known. My step known.

You're step known to you. I wish I could call somebody a known. I remember one, first of all, pop was great in that movie. Robin Harris. Yeah, but I forget what's going on. One of them, one of the girls goes over to the other to get one of the other girlfriends. And like the uncle answers the door or somebody who goes, girl, go on and sit inside. Which your big nose. That was it. It was just great. that across the board Robert Harris was awesome to lay great like tickle Jacob

Really it makes Bobby happy how much that tickled you it really does Probably didn't watch black movies. It wasn't allowed in his part of town. I was not You'd have the walk four blocks to go to black town the watch house party. They didn't rented his blockbuster I never knew what it meant, but I always loved one the other guy. I think it was the uncle said, make me another one of them dick regories. Which uncle is it? Am I forgetting?

No, no, no, I'm not wrong. No, no, no, when she goes over to pick her friend up. Yeah. Yeah. It's her, share a Lee Ralph's parents. Yeah. And Gina from Martin goes to pick her up.

Because you're, our generations, like my movies that I watch was, um, last American virgin. Yeah, great movie. Yeah, I think you're going to, I think you're going to name black movies. You grew up with, yeah, that, I know, no, I never watched black movies growing up. Damn, um, porkeys, porkeys, who's, that was one of my, my kid movies that I watched.

Yeah, poor kid movie is I watched as a kid too You weren't supposed to watch as a kid 100% not but it was a record goes through the hole and then the fat lady grabs it The gym teacher grabs never he fucks Kim Kertrell Because you don't shut the fuck up. We've played that on the show before yeah that scene is the Most G rated scene in film still that if I see it alone will bone me up a little bit. Kim Kattrell. That you get banged. Getting fucked to make it all that noise.

And the guy's laughing. How funny is the guy laughing? That's one of the best things ever. It's one of the funniest. And I wonder if that was a real, it seems like a real laugh. That guy's laughing. He's so red-hollowing. Yeah.

It was like five years old when I watched that shit too. I didn't know anything, but it taught me a lot. So great. And then the girl, look at it in the girls room and they all had their bushes. Oh, so great. It was great. That movie was so great.

I stayed with all three of those shitty films. What was that, was that in Florida? Where was it supposed to be? It was down south, right? I think it was Florida. I wanna to say Florida or California might have been California Oh my god, dude. And Kim Petra was so hot by the way By the standards of like today's world she wouldn't be concerned, but she was 80s perfect How do you I mean, it was her, I'm really, I'm not what? How do you, I mean, wow.

Yeah. Christina, I'm gonna be phoned up at work. I love the whole gym can hear this. Why are they call you laughing Yeah, we're watching porcus right now. She's getting stooped and the whole Gym can hear this and the gym teacher the gym teacher One of them who knows what that is probably because he banged her before Everybody's laughing hysterically. Oh my, look at the girls though. These girls are smoking hot. Yeah, you're all wearing

like pornography for the blonde. Oh my god, but look at the... He's given it to her. He's given it to her real good now. Skinny Coach Laughing. Fat Coach Pist. And the fat female gym teacher. Peewee took one to the chest. He can't believe what's happening. What was the same body type as Stavros Halkeyus? That's it.

Oh God. That's hot. What a good movie. What a good teenage movie. Well now they got a... No, they got Barbie. I can't, no, but they have to say they have like American pie and stuff was a generation to kind of Had that when they were young, but that nudity was so like

It wasn't as fun that nudity right there. No, no Oh, the nudity is the ones that got older they just didn't go for it as hard. I mean every Girl in that movie who was like a character that was Wendy, you know the girl with the curly black hair Wendy her characters, right? I'm pretty sure her name's Wendy Like you see her fully pussy out naked That's huge. It doesn't happen anymore. You can't you can't make a teen movie where everyone's actually naked Not anymore not even a harm movie really right? They don't even get naked in harm movies anymore

A little bit here and there, but it's not. It now, it's like purposefully, it's almost like laughing at itself when they do it now. Like I just have to take a shower. Now let me ask you a question though. Mm-hmm. Now, me having a 10 year old, Sure.

There's a part of me that's like, this is better. It's better that he's not going to be subjected to the pieces of shit movies that I saw, which fucked me up sexually for years, in a good way, some ways, right? In a bad way, other ways. Like he's going to see what he's going to go on the internet and watch five guys see if they can fucking all get their cocks and a woman's ass the same time. Yeah, but this was on TV. This was on.

It doesn't matter. He's not going to be in front of the TV like that. He's going to be on the internet. He's not yet, but he's so much worse now. No, the porquies thing was the innocence of it, actually. I'm sure Max knows how to clear his browser, but he's not. I said, but you should be you should be bugging Christine. Go fuck yourself.

Okay. Do not send me down that rabbit hole. He does not watch, he does not watch porn. Are you out of your god damn mind? Max does not watch porn. Okay. What?

You're sick. I said, there's no way that Max watches porn. I agree. He probably doesn't watch it. He uses it. What? Max does not you sing.

Max masturbates. How old is he? Yeah. He's 10. No, he does not. I think he watches porn. That's too young. You're out of your mind.

And today? No, you're absolutely wrong. What happened? Didn't they Google sex? Was that Max? What are you talking about? What do you know that I don't fucking know? What do you know that you're absolutely wrong. What happened? Didn't they Google sex? Was that max? What are you talking about? What do you know that I don't fucking know? What do you know that you're keeping from that?

That Max and James Googled sex. No, they had sex. No, my face is a top. I do remember hearing something. Remember? I do remember hearing something like that. But I also know of the story of like Isabelle also did that. Yeah.

I remember that. How would you not Google sex if you had the opportunity to? Yeah. I don't think Max. I think I know Max doesn't watch porn. He doesn't know porn is. Mm-hmm. You know, Jay, doesn't he know curse words? He knows, yeah, from me, he's, I'm his dad.

I say fuck, asshole, shithead. I think he's trying to find out where that word comes from. If he Googles fuck. I honestly, like, when did you guys start with magazines when you were growing up? I'm trying. I did start young, but it was probably you were doing method and fed of me You don't think you don't think Max is looked at a pussy yet you lunatic. There's no I I would bet you want I get it I you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, fuck you. I believe I'm what you I understand you know you'll avoid a grow up Jason I will not let you do this

He already has a favorite site. It's a gangbang cream pies calm. No, he does not I don't know that some bet seen it fall out after they finish inside of her okay TMI next Yeah, my bud. What if he's trying to look up girls like his age in high school on your computer and you don't know that no They can't you first of all hit all, he only has an iPad. His computer is for school. It's only has school stuff on it. He might think porn is for adults. He doesn't want to.

So he might Google the word kids porn. I porn for children. I porn for children. That's terrible. That's terrible. You might want to look into that. Jay. Jay.

Christine, your evil laugh is just unappreciated right now and he probably just look at porn for adults He's probably looking into child porn on me. I'm telling you he knows he's a child. Oh my god Lewis Remember yourself and I would you start looking through magazines, but it's a different time. Yeah So he has nothing to go to the woods He can wait for you to take a shit and then go pound cock. I feel like a blurry, like a static VHS of porn. I don't think I saw actual porn till I was like 19. Now it's just like there.

You can just- Did you have parents that loved you? I did have parents that loved me. They loved their fur a little bit. Because they only loved their fur a little bit, not the whole time. All right, so there you go. They're in line with the fucking. They love until they die.

Yeah. Did they die young? No, one. No, one. Which, why did your mom die? When I was 15. Oh, shit. And then the father emotionally when she was 16.

Well, he found new love and he was a little wrapped up in that. So he left you behind. Yeah, kinder. Christina, 16 years old, had to get away from drugs and prostitution on our own. See, I mean, he has two parents. We are so on what he watches. I think kids now are into TikToks and stupid videos. Like, we have to take that away from him. Like, like, just hear me out before you give me the fucking fuck you nod that you're giving me. I'm nodding my head, I want to listen to you. But you're nodding your head with...

I can't tell you how things are in your home. I agree with you, I'm nodding my head, sure. I have. You're on top of this thing, I think I was on top of Isabella too. All right, I'm saying that I feel like now kids watch TikTok or videos of people doing pranks and stuff like that. We watched porn or looked at magazines when I was a kid. Because there was no...

No, they do that instead of watching TV. Yeah. Like, they did we were kids. It's a place porn. I don't think I... Tick tock didn't replace porn. I am 100%. Tick tock is what they jumped back to

so that when you walk in the room because they were watching dirty, disgusting porn. But there's no way that... I would cat like we're in the tiny house, okay? We're in the tiny house. I would catch him looking at something stupid Even if he was like up in his bed and I'm gonna sleep in the loft sleeping loft and had no volume on I believe I believe I believe I believe Our future I do I do I believe the He doesn't want to hear that max I'm Lee the way thank you Jacob

10 is very young is too young. I always are you know, boys are also pervy. He actually He got pubes. So I think he's hitting pubes a little early, but I think 10, which was weird. That was a weird thing when he was like, Dad, what are these? I think I got pubes.

I was like, get the fuck out of here. I looked in, I was like, Holy shit. Does he have armpit hair too? He speaks very clearly. He's getting armpit hair, yeah. He's got leg hair, he's got a lot of leg hair arm hair Oh my Jacob This is inappropriate. What's fucking your tiny couch? You tiny house stop it

There's no way I can't even fucking my house. There's no way I have to wait for like I'm home to master You in dongle aside for a nice cigar. That's what we want and then he just rails the couch He does not have sex with the couch Why wouldn't he you're thinking about now thinking the cushions for that couch could be a good no He's not right. He's not humping. I didn't I'm not raising a humber if he's gonna do it. He's gonna do it Lewis told us the James did the James is gay What is that to do with anything they go they get they into sex more earlier sexualized lower earlier Max is the man.

No, I think 10th the age would lose it. It was like he's like, you know, you can see him like kind of humping is whatever he's like, it feels good. Dad, he's in a tough James. Yeah, Max is a man. He doesn't hump. He humps not a humber. Is that trying to rub his fairness to what you're saying?

I was never a humber. Christine was a humber. She's a holler. But Lewis said he was a humber. Yeah, of course he was he had nobody to hug him He's more of a hugger than a humber which can gradually Lewis's sister lost how about it say a hundred and some pounds? 125 is it that you know his sister lost? Doing what? Getsoo and stuff. Yeah, so you need is her fucking her and Lewis going at us

It's gangfest him fighting He's doing the t-shirts at Skankfest and him yelling at her in the fight There's no there's a hundred percent. I am a hundred percent. No, I'm 99.9 percent Certain that I don't like you don't that's fair. I think it's fine You can be on you know, and he hasn't he hasn't yet because we haven't even look it We haven't even found a clue of Something you know, do you mean like you as a pan he's an eater. What does that mean what in the hell in the bonfire fucking

History is an eater What is that no bonfire context? history is an eater. History. What is that? No bonfire context. What's an eater? What is an eater? I don't know. Jacob, what is an eater? Somebody Google eater.

I mean, Christine. There's nothing to do with it. I don't, are you talking about a... Call me eater? I'll leave him in the woods. No, I will. No, he's fine. I will put him on a kayak and throw him on and let him on fire like a fighter.

He doesn't want you, he's doing it to save you the discomfort of finding his bones. He is not, that makes me sick to my stomach. You're 10 year old son is not a commuter. Oh, yeah, actually my 55 year old friend is a commuter. He has a radio show on every morning here with Sam Roberts. Yeah, no one Jim as long as I had now the most jarring thing about that was the E-55. I think he's 50. I don't know, I just had a happy birthday, Jim, by the jarring thing about that was the E.S. 55. I think he's 50. I don't know.

Happy birthday Jim, by the way. He's birthday was last week. It seems like he's a little young to be like regularly into porn. It just seems like him and his friends have a little porn at this point. I don't, can I say something? I'm going to 100% and I know how to find it. I will go on his iPad. No.

Why? Why? Because? Why? Because now you're setting yourself up for a 33% chance that you could find out something you don't want to know just yet. Why? Why? Why do I want to know it just yet?

Well, look. If he's got two girls going at it, fine. Haha. If he's got a guy in a girl going at it, makes sense. Yeah. But what If he's got a guy in a girl going at it, make sense. Yeah. But what if it's two dudes plowing? You don't want to know yet.

Well, he's going to find that on my computer. So you can't blame him. When he goes, I just cloned your device, Dad. Yeah, I just, I typed in men, men sleeping. It was already purple in the search. I tried it I typed in straight eight gets it in the Turkish by accident by accident Wrong glory hole so I

It sucks too because I don't know any of my friends who have a male Except for Keith Robinson So like I like I can't go to you. You had a female. I don't have, and Lewis, I guess I could go to Lewis, but it's the same thing. So I don't have a father, I don't have a dad, my father passed away a few years ago. I was really excited for my stepdad, Larry, at this stage of the game, because we were fathering.

Well, he's gonna be such an old school Italian. He made a sauce. He cooked. He was great. No meat. No, it was meat. Yeah, it was great. That's not a gravy. But I was really looking forward to having a relationship with him, but also my kid having a relationship with his grandfather and being able to call him because he had a son my little brother Andrew who was awesome And a man and I was looking forward to calling him With these questions be like dude look what do I do with this? How do I broach this and stuff that I got I got it sucks because I got I don't know I got nobody to do that with

Keep it on fathers and sons by Oh Keep it on fathers and sons by Oh, what is that oh no no what is that Bellis is awesome backyard is that Okay, all right well, they okay, thank that is not I think it was a chick Jesus Cries fingering it. That's called wishful thinking All right, we actually have we have some business to attend to on only fans today what oh No, we should just texted me. Oh no Oh, he's listening live. No, he's not listening live. He's fucking the couch. No, he this way. He sent me you ready

He's not listening live. He's fucking the couch. No, he does what he sent me. You ready? He's fucking the couch He sends me videos like this funny fly to tenant wrapping on airplane. That's what he's into well eventually he finishes You don't just watch porn after you finish and you go to funny stuff Don't keep looking at porn and then I move on back to YouTube or whatever It's because they don't give me your like yes I am so oh my god I thought you'd be on my side of this. Lizard but odds are. No, it's not an eater. So that's good news.

Don't call my son an eater. I didn't I said he's not that. Okay. I think young Lewitsky was. I was not. You came in there. Remember you were an eater. Could you be please could you be Max's grandfather?

I don't think I'm the most Anyone with older boys. He is triglycerides are off. We got a way to see if it gets healthy again We're gonna we're gonna get a little back into the seat of hell. I don't want him to get I don't want to be a griff on that heat white bites the bullet. No, it's too. I don't want to empty promise the kid Oh, I think I'm gonna see him at Metallica Yes, yes No, no, no you guys are not going with us. We're going Sunday. Um They're not going on the Friday one. We're going to Friday one. I got to build a Sunday one. Yeah, yeah

I'm gonna now I'm definitely gonna look at his iPad. I'm going through his iPad and tonight I'm going through his computer. I'm excited. I'm so proud of it. Well, it's not private. He's 10. It's mine. I own it I own him until he's 18. That's not you you're suggesting okay as a father. Yes, who has a grown daughter? You're suggesting now that you've given me this information. Yeah, you sent me down this path. You're suggesting I don't find out. Why just think he clears his history? He doesn't know how to clear his history. He's not acting like my son is you.

These kids know how to read the internet. He doesn't have to clear his history because he doesn't have a history. He's probably got a pass where they can't let you see his history It doesn't know how to go incognito you guys are out of your mind. He does not have to do that But just so you know that was his he texted you at a guilt from just slamming his ham You didn't even know he still uses his penis as an iPad holder He's doing. It's like a Swiss army tool. It's everything.

When we get back, we went hiking this weekend with him and Don, another debacle. We are the fucking Griswalls, they swear to God. Yeah. We always have such good intentions. And it just turns it. Did it fall apart with each other or the thing falls apart?

It falls apart with each other. It just, we just fall apart with each other or the thing falls apart. It falls apart with each other It just we just fall apart and it winds up just us trying to not yell in the country Because you can hear it just echoing down a mountain Dawn Wait up, you know, and just Maximus He almost pushed me off a cliff by accident. Little. You almost killed me this weekend By accident by accident and now we're working up. You really get in away. That's how bad you're getting his way of whacking off. Then we ran into a couple. The person's guy over like ravine. We ran into a couple at

a swimming hole up on top of the mountain at a waterfall and it was. It was. It was. It was. Dude, it was uncomfortable. They were swingers. It was uncomfortable. Couples get very romantic around waterfalls. They got to make a scene. I love it. Yeah. I like this idea. If Max, if you guys are just let Max stay at home and watch pornography, then Don could have gotten to your first swinging routine. I have to give you an update on that too. You're swinging? No, not swinging. The, the, the, we, I was going to try to have sex with my lovely wife this weekend in the tiny.

All right. Using Jacob. Using using, using yeah the aggressive twink. Yeah method. Jacob method the Jacob a K the aggressive twink. Yeah, very aggressive. You're a twink. That's a good thing. I mean, that's not a bad thing. You know a sloppy bottom boy. No, no, no, you're a slim, veer-o twink. Muscular, like fucking man pussy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, uh, spit on your asshole and fucking open it with my fingers. Oh, like this.

I was gonna stretch the hole from the outside. Oh, yeah, Bailey J actually texted me. She heard you calling, saying that she had a man ass hole. I recanted you did Re-can, but Christine didn't Christine was like no, that's a man ass hole. I did. Yeah, you did It was a little dark in there the one time the one picture, but once we I think once we saw that prolapse fisting asshole thing I think we all agree Bailey J's got delicious delightful asshole. There you go. Yeah, it goes without saying

We've seen the bottom of the barrel and and Bailey J does not have that. She's got it. It's a lovely asshole No, we should do we should all take pictures of our assholes and then we should see it guess the asshole Yeah, let's do that. Christine is going to be the more with the pussy behind it. We can just take a close up of the asshole. We don't have to take it to where you walk. You fall the seam. It's just funny when you're a girl. It's just funny.

Everybody picture assholes as J's asshole. Christine is one of fun out here. She's a bad asshole. Yeah, everybody just just, oh, that's Bobby's ass. No, that's not. I tell you one of the most hurtful things ever. What? To me, well, talking about something that you're excited about, trying that cool, and then, in Akul and Kaniy how you thought was when I did a Calta Down in Tampa. I think the second time Michael Michael Calta my mom on radio show Tampa and Tampa He listens every day loves the show

Yo, he has uh, she still work for the show Sandy Carmen Carmen Not Sandy Carmen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right Yeah, she still works. Yeah. Yeah. She was in the show and I the front one the first something came in Something came about a tattoo on the asshole and he was like oh she is a tattoo on our asshole And I was like no no way. He's like yes. I'll show it to you I was like really and she goes yeah show it and so you're just picturing. I'm like, oh man, I'm going to get to see this girl's pussy and asshole. Because you really can't just show your asshole if you're a girl. It's impossible. Right. And then

she pulled her pant. All this would be great. If I just knew this was what it was going to stop at, she just was wearing a thong and she just kind of spread her cheeks and you could see that there is a tattoo around an asshole, but no actual asshole, no pussy, and I had to just be like, that's crazy. Well, I had to, I had to act appreciative of what I wasn't. Well, you're lucky because I actually did before that I saw, she did show me your asshole. And while I was looking at her asshole, I had to whisper in the ear, hey, there's a Haga toilet paper down there. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, wow. I think you said that for you. Yeah, there was a Haga of a toilet paper that maybe Blah, and it gave me a flashback to when I those is I used to work in the Lafamina, Georgia. What did she do?

She took the toilet paper out and then Mike Calta in perfect morning radio. Snorted it. No, he paid somebody to eat it. I'm there. Paid them. Ladies and gentlemen, come on. First call in and eat the toilet paper out of Carmen's asshole. Get $50 in a pair of tickets to the Bajol at this weekend.

9667677450. She's cute. She's adorable. She's so in shape now too. She's so pretty. Yeah, she's very honest. Very pretty. She's always.

But as always, anyone that I think is attractive somewhere else always goes they always have a major crush on Soda Everybody loves soda dude. How do you think I feel? How do you think I feel? I'm I'm the one yeah, yeah, she's gorgeous. Yeah, very pretty She has a she's in love those are boyfriend boyfriend right there. Scroll back down to the left There's a boyfriend right there. Oh What do you mean okay? What are you talking about? No nothing I mean, no she knows she was dating Tiger Woods. Oh

Yeah, I thought she was Italian There she's beautiful beautiful. Yeah, perfect. But I only saw, if you just go, hey, you want to see Sandy, she'll show your tattoo through her thong, I'd go, yeah. And it wouldn't change the course of my day any other than like, what a bonus. When they go, do you want to see her ass hole tattoo?

I'm like, yeah, I'm about to look into her cervix. And then you're like, oh, it's just like underwear Okay, you didn't see the the balloon knot. No And it was wide enough. I don't think I even saw the lines that lead to the balloon, you know, the knot part. Yeah Fucking sucked sucks You have any fucking sucks my brain is I just want to go get max's computer right now You're already home. I want to call computer right now. You're already home, man. I wanna call Don right now and go, go, go type in Google.

Is she home or no? Yeah, she's home. Don't call me, go through this. That don't do that. You don't wanna find out that way. I do not, not on air. I just wanna go look at this. She's gonna go, oh Bob, oh Bob.

Oh Bob, it's something gonna be Bob. Oh Bob, you're gonna have to call me back off air. The oh Bob, this is not good. It's like Christmas story, which you cause a guy haven't told them what he said and just hear screaming and beating the shit out of the kid. Yeah.

Yeah. It would be like, what a deal in Clee Bowl and do wrong. Because I think of things you don't wanna see. How to make a bomb out of local home appliances? Should we take a break? We have to take a break we have to pay these bills you know that we'll come back i'll tell you about my

hike and i'll tell you about happen this weekend is that you have felt or uh... my swingers it was not we got to break well they're well big jailcourt will be on tour leegin a skanks tour august ten through the 12th new Hampshire

Boston, Connecticut, for tickets and all other dates, please visit bigjcomedy.com. Fill them up everybody and Robert Kelly is going to be on tour a new Hampshire. Yep. Port Smith, Nashua, Lakonia, July 27th to the 29th, after that he's going to be in Brotherford, New Jersey, Las Vegas and Rochester, New York for tickets and all other tour dates. Visit robbercullylive.com. We're comedians, y'all. We're out there on the road bringing it to you.

Hopefully we'll get some dates together soon. We can come see you as a family. It's the bonfire. I gotta call Don. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates

coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo AHHHHH