The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Knock Yourself Out Homie

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

A non-binary JFL comedian confuses some of the crew and Jay concludes that their comedy is fine, but just not for him. | Bob has a fondness for old-timey phones and Jay watches 1950's commercials that sell coffee by degrading women. | Bobby's stomach is growling so much that it becomes another member of the show. | A preacher named Pastor Manning gives a crude sermon about the dangers of gay sex. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Crison and Robert Kelly. Robert Kelly, everybody, on the Cowbell. I could never be in the band. After one song, I'd be like, guys, I got to take a break. Luckily, Cowbell's not featured that often. How do they play fucking 12 songs? I'd be like, oh, my guys, get another dude. It's insane.

You're watching a tool drummer, like, play for an hour and a half? He's so involved. Yeah, dude, I can't do Cowbell for four minutes. The reason why I fucked up The pen cap kept getting stuck on the Calabelle Sorry about that You were hitting right in the sweet spot I was killing it

What's up everybody's the bonfire Faction Talk series XM 103 Cackle cackle cocko cackle Big J. Ogerson The great Robert Kelly with me as always That's me That's you That's me

That's you That's me And you Am here here was uh what's up dude was jfl this weekend jfl was last week in this weekend that just passed i don't know if it was this i don't know just the weekdays i don't know it was uh no i think it was uh no i think this weekend was it

this weekend i don't know i was talking to superstar um billy graham number one uh crowd crowdwork comic gabby bryan uh and why are you laughing why why you laughing paco okay all right you guys don't understand i don't understand it It's these young guys don't respect the elders. She's an elder. She's a vet. She's a vet. She was there.

So it was a lot of fun. Oh. Oh, nice. A lot of fun. I think the guys like us don't go anymore. The grungy fucking... No, there's like a nasty show still. But like, I think they're just...

No, here's what it is. I think it's taken over by a private company now. Oh, really? Yeah, it's not government, like, subsidized anymore with all that kind of shit. What's the company called? Puss Inc? Puss Inc. Puss Inc.

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, Jacob. P-U-S-I-N-K. Sarna, God. Hello, I'm here to tell you that Lou is dating my cousin and he does not treat her well. But, I mean, you know, there's like Alonzo Bowens there. That's just for last Bermuda, though.

Bermuda. Dude, I've done that. It is. Let me tell you something about Bermuda. Not cool. No, it's where they fucking killed Holloway. Natalie Holloway. No, that's Aruba you.

Dumb-D-D-D-D-L-U-D-L-U-D-L-U-L-A. Oh, and you love Aruba. Love Aruba. Because they kidnap, they kill, they kill Natalie Holloway. I love it. Bermuda is... You're the thing against her. Is owned by the UK.

It's one of their colonies, should I say that? One of the last places they own. And it's, there's no, like, we went, it was freezing cold. You can't get a cab. Like, you have to, like, rent a scooter and you take your, I said scuda. You got to rent a scooter, dude. Your scuda? And most people fight a scooter.

And most people fight a scooter. fucking die on it. They always crash on these scooters. And the food is gabage. And they have you on this golf course slash compound. Yeah. And it's freezing out.

They have the same weather as like North Carolina. You got to say no to things, my man. Well, back then, I didn't say no to JFO. So far it does look like a peace and positivity festival. It does. Dan's out or what?

There he is. Peace and positivity. He is. Weird Al. Who's that girl on the right? On the neat the Chinese guy. Way over, way over. That's a guy.

Where? That's a guy? Chris Fleming. Chris Fleming. He's the one that, I think Conan's, like, really behind him. He lives that loud. He's cute. He gives a lot of leg kicks, I think, during his show.

He dresses like a bass player in the 70s. Yeah, no, he puts on the whole, like, crazy outfits and stuff. It's a thing. I wish I could do that. I don't know the, I don't know his comedy at all. And they got, uh... Ashley Gavin, I don't know. Rick, I know.

I like Ashley. She's in Skink Fest a couple times. Joe Kim Booster, actually, is Jacob's third favorite comedian. Third? Third. Wow. Well, me and you are first. Oh, okay.

Rick, I love. Rick Glassman, very funny. Have you done a show? Yes. It's fun, right? It was funny. A little goofy, crazy. I haven't seen him in a while.

He's very, very funny. I don't know that guy. I don't know that girl. Timmy No breaks. Okay, I know him. Came to do the Nancy show. Sarah Sherman. Sarah Squirm.

I saw Dave Cooier up in there, up in that bitch. Cooier. Who's May Martin? Who isn't May Martin, really? That's the question. That's so deep. Oh, it's not for us, bro. Why?

Why is it up for us? I've seen, because here's a thing. Here's a thing. Why is it not for us? I get forced to. I get forced. We're going to watch this. I'll tell you what I don't like about it, and it's mean.

This is not for me. But what if you watch it and you're like, dude, this is amazing. I'm glad I found new talent. That's what YKWD is all about, by the way. Is that a guy? That's what I found Dan Soda that way. I found Joe List, Lewis J. Gomez. You know what I mean?

The list goes on, dude. Starvy baby. I mean, letting yourself open up to a new world is what it's all about. So maybe you might like them. You're saying, let's watch a little bit of it. Yeah, but may? May we? Thanks.

I'm working on my puns. I hope you guys are noticing. Yeah? All right. Thanks, Paco. I mean, he looks. Oh, that's a girl. Yeah.

Oh, shit. All right. Sorry. Well, okay, you guys are pieces of shit. I knew that already. Dude, I thought it was the cutest boy ever. That's why I asked, yeah. I'm in the photo.

He's deceiving. Come on. Looks like Jacob is a boy. And she has a joke about a boy. The video is called. My boyfriend broke up with me on sneaker phone. So, you know, sneaker phone?

Remember sneaker phones? I love sneaker phones. I think you got that. It was one of the things you could possibly get if you, those Sports Illustrated. Yeah, then a sneaker phone. And then the football phone, of course. I miss phones.

I miss having the phone in the house, like answering the phone. Why? In the kitchen? Why do you miss it? I don't know. You're just nostalgic for it, dude. You don't want to do that.

Have a cord wrapped around your fucking house. Have a phone in the kitchen, and it rings. You know only certain people have that number. You're not going to give that. willy-nilly and be like hey what's up you're getting nostalgic dude you want to see the cord going through the house into max's room and be like you scam i don't know i maximus it's time for dinner at the dinner table you remember dialing you had to like but the round one like you know

two one i remember the end of that what do you mean at the end of dial oh you didn't do the dial you had the buttons i came to the end of the dial though yeah my mom still had a dial in the house i like a dial you don't though It focuses you. It makes you remember a number. We used to have to remember everybody's, all your friends' numbers you had in your head. Memorized. You had to memorize how to get to people's houses.

You had to memorize people's numbers. We have no memory. My grandmother's phone number was 4776055. I know that. That was her house phone. I know. I call her. I used to call her.

She passed. Yeah, I call her still, though. I leave her messages. Thanks for bringing it up. Sorry, dude. I didn't mean to. I took it too far, dude. On this, the fifth anniversary.

Is it today? Yeah. Oh, God, I got to send her stuff. She's dead. I know to her grave, dude. Why? I send her, she likes fucking, remember the Reggie bars?

No. She likes those. I send one every year to her grave. Can we watch this beautiful girl? She is cute. She's very cute. I do like a short hair and a girl. She's pulling it off in her own way, yeah.

She's cute as all hell. I have a feeling she's gay or something. All right, wait, man. Let's take a vote right now. Is she gay or is she not gay? Queer. Is it queer? Tell me the, tell me, what's gay?

Just throwing a dart, my man. You don't got to run me down over the fucking definition. You're trying to get me fucking canceled? I don't know. Queer. It's a bunch of stuff, they said. A bunch of stuff. A bunch of shit.

I've been to many gay bars and they've always been all-inclusive. Yeah, all-inclusive. You know, you like to hold a bag in one hand and some flap and the other. I sure do. All right, let's go. I say, I say straight. What do you say, queer? I say, well, queer, but I will also say,

I think this is going to be better than we think. Well, I think she's going to do. This is old. Should I find something new or is this good? It says 2015. No. Be funny. If she had, find something more current, yes.

If she looks like shit now. Well, she was in that movie. She looks like Tignitaro now. What movie? Boys Don't Cry? Wayward. That was Hillary Swank, you asshole. You're a piece of shit.

You think every fucking bald girl looks the same? They were in the movie Wayward. It's a Netflix documentary. It's scary, and I was forced to watch it. It's a documentary? I love the... I'm sorry, series. You had to watch it?

You were forced. Well, yeah, and it's confusing because you don't know what they are supposed to be. Is it gays? No. She's... He, it plays a character. Whoa, whoa. This.

This. Oh, Vitt. You don't say it. I'm really sorry. I turn my microphone on. On my microphone on. Herm Yeah dude

Was it by gunpoint Were you shackled? I don't know how you were by My girlfriend loves scary movies So we watched it It's scary? What was it scary part When she pulled their pants down?

Is it scary because You'd be scared to be lost in the woods With a bunch of trans people They Where's that horror They plays a guy They plays a guy And it confused me

Because I thought was this a trans character And it wasn't It's a girl I don't know what the fuck it is. You just know it was one of them. They played a he. I got to tell you. There's some. There's a horror right now that I almost

ran it this week and I'm probably, but bring up the trailer for this and then let's watch the comedy first. But I bring up, Leviticus, I think it's called, and it's just, it's bright out there and it's horror and I'm like, oh, I love horror. And then it's a little British-y out of the gates like listening to the trailer, watching the trailer, and I was like, I don't know. And then I think by a minute

in the trail, these two dudes just started French kids, I didn't see it coming if I'm being honest. I didn't see it coming. It's here. But go to her comedy first. Did Christine see you coming? Huh? Did Christine see you coming?

What is he? On number two. Number deuce. You're going to get four a show, by the way. I mean, that is a very masculine. Is it a girl? Is that the same person? That looks more masculine.

It says that it says that Meg uses also she, her pronouns. I'm going to say she. So it looks like she had top surgery. But I don't know. know if that necessarily means that she's identifying as trans or they then there's another comic Robbie Hoffman she had top surgery

she doesn't identify as a man she just had top surgery the word huh huh she's the one that married the bachelorette me and jay should get top surgery that's what I have I have had top surgery I'm trans but I've had

top surgery yeah excuse me you'll call me a man I went through the procedure. I got top surgery. Go ahead, play. That's a girl. I know. I'm confused.

I'm confused. I get confused. I get confused when I have to... Born and born a woman. When I have to think too much. I think. I'm thinking... I don't know where she's at with the setup. Listen, I didn't think it was going to be... Can we just go back to fucking a stool?

I didn't think... What? Sorry. But you don't want it to be all that. This has to be... I just... I just... By the way, write it off is the wrong term.

I just categorizes this isn't for me. Yeah. This isn't my thing. I wouldn't be like, you know, exactly. It's going to, your body hates. Your body's such a transphal dude. Can I tell you what's happening to me? Can I figure it out?

What? You fucking parasite? Fucking is racist? I'm going away Wednesday night, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And you're terrified? Tiny plane? I'm eating. What?

I'm eating like gabage for three days. Okay. Donuts, ice cream, fucking croissants, all this bullshit going out to eat. And then I come back here and I shut it down. I eat like nothing, like healthy. Salad, salmon, sardines, protein, yeah, protein chinks. So my body is like freaking out on Monday. That's not me.

On Mondays. What's that stomach? He's lying? Hey, no, shut up. When he's home, it's all. Jay, look at me. It's not all salads and salmon. Look at me, Jay.

Jay, a couple of sun chips. Listen to me. Look at me. Talk to me. What is he? What are you saying? Stolen valor. Shut up.

Stolen valor. What I tell you about being on the show? Oh my God. Get off the show. Is that true? He does what? Stop. He calls you what?

Don't listen to him. Jay, look at me. Oh my God? Jay, look at me. Dude, you're parasite. He's an asshole. It's an asshole. No.

Yeah. Well, what's that? And it's not a heat. You're an asshole, he says. It's not a he. It's a they. They. What's that?

You've seen him not just eat salads and salmon plenty of times during the week. But he tells people that to convince himself? When I, that's bullshit. When I come home, number one, there's no food in the house. So I eat. I eat what I can kill. What I kill is what I eat.

You can kill the fucking Uber Eats driver, Brunchy McDonald's. Dude, I don't do Uber Eats. You can check my Uber Eats right now. I'm not checking. anything. I'm not checking up on you. You're making... You're making...

You're making accusations. You're making fucking wild accusations about my fatness when I'm home alone. You just like... You know what? I come home, there's no food in the house. Thank God salmon and salad. I had salmon and sardines and salad. Well, I'll tell you what.

Maybe that's why your stomach's doing that because you have that fucking carcinoma virus, what the fuck it's called? You're blasting ass or something. I'm not helping you with it. Why did you eat? I'll never get it. All right. Well, I wasn't going to get a 40.

you because I have it. The Carpabonka. And I'm not giving it to you. I have it. I don't want it. I know. It's angry. The seeds are angry.

You hear it. Oh. Oh. What's that? Shut up. Your stomach sounds like fucking the amistad late at night. It's creaky and scary. The ammastat.

Everyone's afraid inside. No one knows where they're going. It's all a big fucking mystery. Are we going to die? Oh. What is that? Is this ship going to hold up? There's like a million of it.

on here. Sorry. All right, let's play. Sorry, I want to get some laughs going and come into this more open-minded. Go ahead. May Martin, everybody.

Warm up. Pause it. I don't know what the rude thing is. This isn't for me. Doesn't mean they are not a funny perk. Bobby? What's up?

I was thinking about the Civil War. Yeah. Did you know that? Oh, and this would have just been punishable by murder I'm sorry not for me but the Civil War wasn't about

black people of slavery did you know that it was mainly about to keep the unions together because the seven states seceded and they didn't want that to happen are you hitting an age of your defending old-timey racism? No I'm saying I'm saying that you don't understand the fucking Japs were bombing us so the ones here were

probably in on it I'm actually with the black people that most white people It wasn't about freeing the blacks. It was more about just keeping the union together. What was she saying about snow globes? I think it was a snow globe. Did your parasite get a hold of your brainstem? I don't have a parasite.

I eat clean and then I eat bad. I'm not eating consistent bad or consistent clean. That's what it is. Shut up. What's that stomach? Shut up. Stomach loves this. Parasite loves this comedy.

Are you still doing your... Oh, we found the audience. Stomach parasites. Am I still what? Maybe ask stomach. Are you still ingesting a 50 gram protein bottle? Yeah. I was told recently the body doesn't take in at one time more than 30 grams of protein.

I do, it's 30 grams of protein, a shake. Wow, that was convenient. You dropped, you cut 20 out. That was convenient as hell. I take 200 a day. Yeah, but at a time. At 30 bar. Liquid dairy.

At 50 grams of liquid dairy. How many do you drink a day? You do it with water. I don't do dairy, thanks. How do you drink? How do you drink? How many times a day do you go in? I have two protein shakes and I have three bars and I try to have a natural source of protein like chicken or fish or salmon.

Three bars? Two or three, yeah. Christ. Yeah. Stomach, is that right? Stomach says another bar, but it's not protein That is bullshit You can't listen to him, Jay?

What's that? No Oh, a crackle bar? I didn't even know they made those still. Now they're ganging up against me. Stomach? Stomach. I wanted to let the joke finish for people, you know,

obviously if this gets anybody any fans by all me, but it's like this comedy would never be for me. No, not for me either, but I mean, I get what she's doing. Yeah, yeah. It's a little analytical for me. It's good writing, but I'm saying, like, in that, I'm looking at this in the same way. I go, like, at the end of the day,

like George Carlin technically wasn't for me, really. It was good. I liked a lot of us. Smart and funny. I laughed at points, but, like, he never bent me over, like, like, other comics. You know what I mean? Like, to laugh.

Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, I think that Patrice and made me laugh more than prior. I'll say that. Prior was funny, but he had live in concert where he was great. Live at the Sunset Strip was good, but it wasn't, I mean, everybody's like,

oh, prior, I mean, yeah. Is that after he was on fire? Yeah, it was after he was on fire? Some of those people get the ideas too, like, where Annie Murphy still goes on like Mount Rushmore's of stand-ups, and he did two things.

He did stand-up comedy for like a very... Short amount of time. I don't... How far apart of those? Are those specials 10 years apart? No. Maybe. No, you might be right. It might be close.

It might be close. Because I didn't see Delirious when it came out. I don't think I saw it later. And then Raw. But I mean, he's like... Raw, he was famous. By Raw? Yeah, raw, he was famous. Delirious he was.

Like, fucking search battle. Delirious was 83, Raw, 87. Four years only. Okay. But that's it. So then it was a shorter time than I thought. I thought those were more time in between, but I think he did. I thought in the middle he did movies and then was like,

let me go back and do comedy to do this other special and then never, but he never did it again. No, because he became so big in movies that it's like, why do I gotta, you know, he was going to clubs all the time. I mean, on ironic.

Working stand up. You are, that kind of fame. It's the Kevin Hart like thing where it's like Eddie Murphy was able to shut off the noise and just go like, sure, keep talking, it'll be whatever. Because like, nobody around him would be like,

Hey, I'm going to go make a song party all the time with Rick James. He goes, it's actually going to be pretty good. Yeah. Pretty catchy. It'll actually end up being a classic hit, ultimately. And Red Light, Red Light was a classic hit too. Red Light is terrible. Red light.

That's where it's awful. Red light. Party all the time. He did the things and, like, if you were around comics all the time, Red Light. You wouldn't have tried possibly to do. Green Light. The video for party all the time.

he's walking in like, oh, this is going to be funny. The first time you ever see that video, I'm like, oh, what's he going to do? I'm about to laugh. And he just puts headphones on. Can I tell you, as a person... You can't understand why you want to hurt me. It's also such an end of the first line. Oh, my God, he's just singing.

As a person who was, that was, like, I was around when Kiss 101 played that for the first time, when Maddie was like, you guys, next up, but I remember hearing it. And then it was everywhere, but people were into it. I actually like to sound like. It's great. I remember the video before hearing it on the radio. And he gets out of a limo or something. No, it's him and Richie Tinkin, walk into the studio.

There is. Richie Tinkin. There it is. How the fuck do you know Richie Tinkin? The owner of the comic strip. I had a major war online with that guy. Is that him? Yeah.

I didn't know that. Yeah, look at him. Richie Tinkin. No shit. He was old when he was young He looks like maud He does look like maud At this point I'm still confused

When he comes in with a voice It's like a real put-on voice too Well you want to hit me Hurt me girl Fucking Rick James just jumps in Constantly Well this is being This is being around, like if you became as big as Eddie right now in movies and shit like that,

and you're around a band, you'd probably be around bands. You would wind up doing some type of metal song. No, no, no. No, you still got to be. Dude, you'd be like, hey, what's up? This is Jason. This is my new song called Rage Love. Fucking Rade Love when you don't have no one on the road all the time.

I'd be more likely to make a song like this. I party all the time. Woo-hoo. Would you make... I forgot about your roots. Black Lives Rule. I forgot about that. I always remember

Rick James does this thing where he feels this one part of the song so much, he shakes. I mean... The Eddie Murphy mustache doesn't get enough credit. The fact that he's had a mustache his whole fucking career.

She likes to party all the time. Look at the white guy in the back with his shirt undone. Oh, this one you put up together a mish-mosh crew. I don't even know if every one of those instruments is playing in this song. There's no guitar, I don't hear a guitar. Do you? Did Eddie Merle? There's not multiple guitars, for sure.

Not what he's playing. He's playing like fucking guns and roses on the guitar. To me. But my girl wants to party all the time. He's got a hook. I don't hear any guitar.

Yeah, it's all sense. the song was made in five minutes oh yeah in between them doing coke party all the time but then James Rick James can't let him just shot on his own he's got to jump in

there it is shaking you can't believe it dude give it to me Eddie Murphy everybody has a Jamie supporting him in the background I think cocaine is probably

what you completely thank for this song existing. Yeah. Drugs. Cookin. Woo! Yeah. Look at Tink.

I didn't know that was him. It's so funny. He's so uncomfortable being in the room with all these things, by the way. Him and his tight sweater. Look at Rick James. Give me that bass. I'm going to fuck shit up now.

Boop booby. I love that time in the 80s when Safari hats were in. See the guy with him? Let me show what's done stupid. Hey. She'd like the part to die. Yeah, you got a little more on your voice. Here.

Rick James has the personality of Corey Feldman with 2,000 times the talent. He's what happens with Cory Feldman has amazing, amazing talent. I've never found a better correlation. Rick James is Corey Feldman with seeping with talent How funny is Eddie he did the He did the He did the O-K

I'm a fucking asshole All right let's go back to this All right a little more May Martin if we could We'd have been broken up with some fucking party all the time We should break up My girl ones two We should break her up with a bunch of songs I want you to watch

I want you to see this trail or even hear it For Leviticus the horror movie that I bat around watching until it turned a gay sex party in the middle of it. Not that I wouldn't still watch it. It didn't look that great anyway but it did take a weird turn brother. What's happening? And then I start worrying is it going to be, is the whole

movie a gay agenda or do they just happen to be gay dudes? Oh, let's find out. Yeah, the hard way. Yeah, the hard way. Let's watch it. Let's watch it tummy to tummy. A gay agenda. Only the power of butt fucking can stop monsters.

It'll be a great horror movie. If me, if like two dudes like us, Totally straight, but the only way to stop the demon is one of us has to take it in the cheese. Absolutely. And then the last minute, you go to put it in, you go, I can't. And I'm like, fuck it. And I just roll you over and I push it in. If you don't 69 with your schoolmates, you'll be fucking possessed.

What was that movie? I wanted to watch, the one we couldn't even say on air? Super gay. What was it? The Italian movie? I forget it. Oh, the vampire one? No.

No, it was another movie. Watch this. Why, she's too sexy boys. I should have known out of the gates. Pause it, by the way. And maybe I'm a bad understanding things. Now that I know, hindsight, 2020.

So now this looks gay from the get-go. Well, they're wrestling. Okay, but come on now. Come on. I do know the gates. I do know the gate. It's the story. But sometimes wrestling doesn't lead to gay sex.

I don't know. When? When? When? Is that what happens with your boy after a wrestling match? Every time. Gay sex. Yes.

You guys waiting for it goes, guys, come or not, we're all going to Pizza Hut. Yeah. Let me ask you, quite, this, I hope I don't sound. What's that stomach? What's that? Get this gay ass shit off the TV? No, you don't run this show. Shut up.

When you're in a beautiful. Stomach. Stomach. Don't say things like, no. They're peat. just like everything deserve rights no I won't hear that back down back down you're don't don't talk to him like that that's crazy it's crazy you're talking stomach you got some real antiquated views you piece of shit you cave you cave muckin

motherfucker from a different time Jay Jay Jay can I say something real quick I'm what's that stomach shut up you're sorry a little bit no I guess it's the best we can get right now can I say something and that wouldn't really rode up my ear I I don't like watching kid gay it's not gay yeah but there's BMX bikes and I don't want to see boy gay

it makes me uncomfortable why would happen to you a lot but not because of that yeah let's just be excited they're both boys I know but I don't mind like older team gay but when I see just boys playing in a field

they're just horsing around man I don't want to stop please they're horsing off when bicycles are laying side by side you know something's about to happen oh man it's just enough bushes around that nobody can see. Guys.

It's a beautiful field. I can't believe you guys already draw these conclusions though. I just thought these were two boys wrestling in a field. Me and my friends would go wrestle. You're so naive, gay. When you can't, you can't even put the kickstand up. Oh, God, they're so excited. The passion is so much.

Let's fight. Let's fight until we have to kiss. Back to it. Please don't let them kiss. Now they're walking their bikes on. I don't want to see young gay. Oh, God, it's boy gay. Now, still.

Still. Still. And then right there, I was like, it's gay when they, when their noses touched. What? I thought maybe one of them was going to be like, no, what are you doing? Dude, if I looked at you that close and you didn't blink for more than two seconds, I would leave. I thought maybe he was going to get yanked away, like that horror movie trope where he gets yanked away really fast. But it didn't. They touched noses. And then they went in for it. And I was like, hmm. Well, let's see. Is that when you took your sweatpants off? Yeah, slowly. Oh, boy.

Bobby, you're afraid of it. If you like to watch a cut that took out all the horror, can I just get them holding each other and telling each other it's going to be all right? Hey, guys, can you change the sound design to something more romantic instead of creepy thriller? More country, maybe? Leviticus. What is Leviticus? Is that from the Bible, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like a probably the name of a tool song or something. Does it turn out that the blonde gay is, is, is. Is it is a demon? Well, we don't know. We have to watch it this weekend together. You put a D on the end of Deman when you say it.

Demon. Demon. You're right, I did. Demon. Demoned. You noticed the littlest things. Demoned. That's not little.

That's very little. It's an entirely different word. Nobody would have caught that except for you. Everybody caught it. Not everybody. I bet somebody swerved their car. You think somebody swirred? I bet there was a fender bender because of it.

Really? Yeah, and that's the responsibility we have as broadcasters. To make sure that the D is not the end of demon. Yeah. And I got a d'ed. do a lot of scurrying around to clean up your mess. That's why I'm sticking up for Jacob right now. Like demons.

Hey man, don't make me have to work for two people. I hate that you're a word Nazi. I'm the human whiteout. You are. We have a thing here says black reverend discusses being gay. Buddy, this is one of... Speaking of... I only follow...

Right now, I'm only following really weird stuff. There's one lady I've been following from the beginning, which I'm glad I jumped on a train. I think she has autism. Wait, Bobby. She's a genius. This is about you. You're going to want me to tell you this because it just happened.

You never know this. But everything you bought that watch for just happened. What? Because of where Paco's got the lights for us today, you were just talking casually and you turned. And I mean, it lit my face up for a second. I just wanted you know it happened, dude. The thing happened. That's why you get that watch.

Yeah, it is. Hell yeah, dude. I'm happy for you. That's awesome. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that. Ooh, it took, it really drilled me. There's a lady who just decided to build a tunnel in her basement,

and she's digging it out, and then, like, a year in, the city found out, and they shut her down. And she's just, I don't, she's building a tunnel, and she's literally digging under her house. Like Rambo? I don't, it's just, I'm following weird people like this who are doing this stuff, but I found this pastor who is saying this outrage of shit. but then I came across him. Black people just have way more fun at church than white people. Well, I got to tell you what?

This guy's wearing a suit. I think D.L. Hugley wore on Kings of Comedy. I'm pretty sure. I'll tell you what, though, the young pastors also, like the white, like the wigger guys, they're killing it pretty hard, and they make me laugh. We should look at those also. This guy, this guy sums it up in a weird way.

Ready? Oh, great. no more. I wish it was that. Here we go. Okay now. You want to go inside of his lower intestines and pack whatever

is in there. Pause it. That's black dick for you, man. That's what he was thinking. Your lower intestines, dude, I promise you. I'm nowhere near your lower intentions. You think of fucking where food goes?

Yeah. It's going to pop out with you a couple times. You're going to have to go, I got it. I got it. You want to be up in a man's spinal cord with your enormous black penis? You want to make a man talk funny? This guy sounds like one of my great black impressions. I love it. Now, come on now with it. You're going to go bust up in his ducy hole?

Stack it all up by you pushing in there and pushing it. You want to do that. Knock yourself out, homie. You want to pack another man's do-do. That's your business. Yes. If you find delight in that, I find it a bore it. But if that's what, if packing another man's doodoo brings you on, knock yourself out, bro. That is better. I just want to tell you, the Bible says it wrong.

The Bible says it wrong. I take it back, Bobby. This is better than White Church. In any way. This guy can't stop watching him, dude. You want to pack the doo-doo of another man. We want to pack that doo-doo? You want to watch a man back to?

Knock yourself out. Pack that do-doo. Get do-du-packed. butt. But you go to hell! This guy is fantastic. I mean, as far as captivating. He looks like a puppet.

I thought it was AI at first because it was so outrageous but it's not. He looked at drawing. You would just draw of an old black man? Could you imagine going to church and this guy just this is the, this is what he's talking about today?

Fucking chef's father from South Park. That's what you look like. Well, you know these priests and pastors have to go over what they're going to preach that Sunday, right? So at some point, Bitch, you know I'm right in my shit. The same way I always take it, motherfucker. Now, the Lord saith unto

Big Booty Jessica. See, is there another one of him? Is that the end of it? I don't think so. I'll play. But anybody else would have a brain would understand. There must be something wrong with you

to want to go inside of another man's asshole and pack his dung. Don't that stuff get all over you? I mean, that's what it's there. That's what that place is made for. How on earth can you elevate that up against pastor man and preaching? You see where? You see where the world is?

Listen, let me tell you something. By the way, I like that's where it goes. Let me talk to you a little second. Did you mention the middle of like a, like, remember like the, in the Boys of Men's songs when a guy would talk in the middle for a second? And it was just that instead of, uh, was the end of the road if you'd have him come in and he goes

just put that instead in the middle he goes let me tell you so pack another man's and then at the end of it he goes you want to pack his dung come on now inside of his assall don't let

don't let don't let what's this one I don't know it was one of the top ones retards bugging me why you got to park so close hang on

you can't trust me i've been working with him for 45 years a nigger just ain't gonna do the right thing he's got attitude about everything she's it yes all right well maybe i didn't see that one well you said you loved them well we know how got your algorithm now we know the hashtag you were searching this is a black preacher by the way he's black oh yeah he's 100% black I don't know that Is Jake Lang one of the white ones guys who do it? So there's a picture of him and goes with Jake Lang.

Right here? Yeah. I'll look him up. I would 100% go to this guy's church just to hear him one time. 100%. But I say I want to these white ones are like the, those guys are

fucking pretty great too. The young people getting the young people involved. Yeah. They still dress like they're in the band trapped. But they fucking. There's one fat guy that, We're as sweaters that I follow. I've watched too. That's very funny.

These guys are great, though. Black church, it's just so much fun. You say whatever the fuck they want. Regular church stink. Like Catholic Church? The hymn shit? Oh, what a boring. He was a January 6th political prisoner for 1,467 days. That's great.

This is Jake Lang getting stoned by Muslims. He's just so angry. It's like everything's like him yelling and pointing at something. Oh, please show me something to him yelling. This is the guy hanging out with your favorite pastor. Let's hear it. I don't know. These people cared.

We'll be a Christian white country 100 years from now. You will not have your way, you fucking Marxist. We will take our country back. I'm a fucking liberal. That's the same fucking bullshit. You're here to destroy white people and destroy Christianity. That's your fucking M. I have an issue.

Actually a bull. I think I met this guy this week in fly fishing. Yeah, I think that was everybody in Havasu. I think I hurt my... Is that everybody at Lake Havasu? Bobby's like, I think I heard my wrist high-fiving this guy.

That's, uh... Damn, dude. This guy's hyped up. People are riled up. Yeah, these guys... We were looking more for like a literary magician pastor type, right? So why does he go to...

Yeah, I like the more... Yeah, that guy wasn't my jam. No. The past is funny. But I'm surprised this. these two are like Lincoln they're fucking collabing well this guy seems to

be a salating black man he seems very right right wing too he seems a little black I'm the only one that possibly have a like I don't know what this guy is you gotta get duty on your ding-dain wait go in the stuff of this guy of the pastor

there's cops beating up a kid is it him being like fuck around with the bull you get busted what does it say you go to school and 149 Grand Concourse. Oh, this is NYPD. Right. Is he for them?

No, that's just a video. You go to school on blah, blah, blah. I don't know. Oh, here you go. Didn't he run a thing? That's not him. He was collabed on it, but it's not from him. Go to his earlier work.

I always like to go to the earlier work when they transitioned. He was like, gay is all right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, there's always a transition with these people. Gay people just doing what they do. No big deal.

It's so funny. The chick. that was doing the digging the tunnel during the pandemic. When she got shut down, she had to find something else to do. So she just started making videos of her singing. But she's in

but it's old, weird, like German like pop songs. And I got hypnotized by it. I can't stop. This pastor sounds like, that speech sounds like he just, like he was, he's angry. He was fine with gay stuff.

And then he just found it yesterday. that it's like, it's dick and asses. I thought they touched diggling. What? They do what were where? I thought they just snuggled. Where dooky doodles come from? What you coming with?

I just thought they held each other. Come on now. I thought they touched their dickheads. What? No. I watched Will and Grace. I never seen no duty hole plug in. I thought they laid each other's dicks

between each other's balls. I thought they just made funny comments and did, hey girl with the hands. I thought they made testicle pussies. Okay, so, Looks like he started by doing a green screen news show. Don't mind that at all. I know.

Is he holding a football in one? So this is pretty far. What's he wearing? God loves a vest. All right. Go to the book. Go to the book one. He's reading out of a book.

You got to read the book. You know it's the Bible. Look how floppy it is. Not that way. That's not what he is. But this is great. He's screaming in the streets. Because of Smith and Wilenska's evil doing.

What? What? Fred not thyself. Because of Smith. Smith and Walensk's cold steaks and cold bloodied. What the fuck did they do? Oh, we're going to find out, though. Let's find out.

He got a bad meal. But evil doers like Smith and Wilansky. Look at the old white people eating in Smith and Walensky while he was a crazy guy. You got to. Couldn't be dressed more like a white priest, by the way. You got to give white people. they can ignore anything rich white people

have ignoring down to your long lost daughter banging on the window oh they don't give a line can you pass that cream spinach please real quick he goes oh I don't know it's a city full of maniacs what do you're going to do who gives a shit who gives a fucking fat shit

white people don't even look out the window it's like is that medium or is that rare I think that's medium we got to put that back did you find the the hyped like wigger Preachers? Sorry, let me get it. They're great.

I love a good preacher. I remember Benny, what's his name? Ben. Hin? Yeah, the guy with the hair, the comb over? Benny Hin. Yeah, when he used to have the, there was another guy to a white guy that had a prayer cloth that you could buy. Oh, there's magic water.

That was a white, oh, late night. It was always a late night, too. Who's that? These guys. Is that just the last thing? These dudes are awesome. It's a more energetic, maybe. You gotta get a fat guy

They're gonna be fat fat Fat pastors have energy They're like fat comics These young ones that are so fucking fun out there They really like They get hype This is not at all Now this guy is actually

Fucking very calm and Jesus like Believes in Christ Yeah I look a nice energetic pastor You I don't know they come out Have you Do you make Max go to church ever?

It's funny you say that That he actually wants to get baptized What? he asked to get baptized oh christ you got him listening to country music dude i know that's what's happened he's full redneck dude

we're going to see uh Friday night I was calling you he wants to get pussy like that fucking kid and uh he wants to be the kid from Dutton Ranch well we're going to see let me tell you who we're going to see and I'm not really that stoked about it

his name is uh well that's a nice way to start well I mean I don't oh here it is his name is uh Todd? Where the fuck is it here? We bought, he goes,

there's a country singer I really like that's playing in Guilford on Friday night. Jesus Christ. This is not it. Is this it? No. Spin her around and get her dizzy.

Punch her mouth until she's smart. That'd be a great song. Punch her mouth until she's smart. I got to tell you something. When I did my live stream, I was telling the guys on Skanksis, too, I found commercials from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Man, all the commercials for coffee, I mean, were so funny. They're all about, like, I mean, they say the words, too.

It was a different time. What a different time it was back then, because the commercials would be like, my first house took forever to build because my, because my wife wanted to be so involved. Woman, I said, leave this man alone and go make some coffee. And not that swill you made yesterday. The good stuff.

Folgers, whatever. And it's always like, whatever the name is, their slogan is, be a good little Folger's wife. Be a good little Folger's wife. And do as you're told. And one of them was for that. You mean the good old days?

Well, you can make a chick flinch in the kitchen. Bobby one of them. The guy goes, he goes, this is my wife's idea. of parenting, permissive, and he's writing on the wall, the little kid. He spins the kid around by the arm, and the kid's terrified. It's a point of view shot. Kids terrified.

Mom grabs the kid, and I think he has again, it's like a woman, like get this kid under control and make me a cup of coffee I can enjoy for one time in your life. And then he goes, you're always experimenting. Don't experiment with my son and don't experiment with my coffee. Be a good little folder. They're crazy commercials. Those aren't exaggeration. That's exactly how they were.

Sounds fantastic. But these women are terrified about the car. And the husband just be like, your coffee's garbage. Well, it's better than what they do now. They totally switch it where it's just a dumb guy that doesn't open yogurt. Yeah. The pendulum hasn't swung back to just normalcy. Because right one is bad to do that, you go, oh, we forgot, dude.

Now before you get back to how people should behave normally, first you have to make sure we cram in like all commercials have to have a gay couple now. Yeah. Oh, shit. And then there's a whole trans thing. Every father is stupid and doesn't know how to do any. Every dad in a commercial now is like, how do you make it? Is that always the case now?

I mean, they do it a lot for sure. They don't have any male. I'm saying it's the overcorrection. Yeah. You know, they say, but like, as right one's getting ready to swing back, it's never going to swing back to it at all. They're still. They should have it until where a guy does that and then the girl fights back.

And then they just fight, but we don't see who wins. Yeah. Yeah. What about me think some women like to get told to shut the fuck up once in a while? Do you think so? I do. I think so. I think sometimes there's one where it's kind of like, oh, like, all right, well.

Nipples get hard. I guess I'm the chick. I guess I did marry a man. Shut the fuck up. You've been taking my shit for five years. You've finally stood up for yourself, pussy. And then if they don't show up, if they don't shut up, then some of them also love when you fucking make them shut. And then some of them won't even call the cops.

Pretty cool. I'm going to... And that chick is the one you marry. Zach Top is his name. Tick. Zach Top. We're going Friday night. Zach Top?

And then we're going to Monster Trucks on Saturday. I guess this is better than Zach Bottom. Hey, there's your first pun. Monster trucks on Saturday. What? Monster trucks. Oh. Are you moving?

No. This is all going to see Friday. You're an East Coast person. Yeah, I know. Oh, shit. Yep. And it's Max. likes him. I guess Max like

I literally said... Oh shit. Bobby Yeah. You're part of a scam. What? You're part of his scam. He like... It's something... Let me tell you something. I relate to Max. Max actually like slimmed out like

much faster than I didn't really at all. But there's just... I think we have a similar... Captain obvious. I think we're looking right at you. Thank you. We had a... We had a similar, I think, energy with certain things, and I bet a girl he knows likes this. So, or a girl he likes, likes this. Or is a little, like, a piece like dating a girl or something.

It's something, a girl related thing for sure. I don't think it's a girl, because he's... Oh, then he's gay. The girls he's talking to is, he's got a couple of Spanish girls. Oh, yeah? Spanish girls like country music. It reminds them when their grandparents worked on ranches. You probably, I mean, he does like, he still likes, right?

He still likes all. He likes everything. He likes tool. He likes all kinds of music. But lately up there, he's been listening to country a lot. It's a girl. Yeah? It's a fucking girl.

Well, I'm going to see this fucking dud. That's hilarious. I mean, and here's the thing. If it was like a famous, like a big country star, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I don't even know this guy. So it's like a third-tier country guy. So you know it's going to be all riffraff.

Terry Top? No, his name is. Zach Top. Oh. And it's this. I do like... Yeah. Yeah, this is the fucking...

Your son's gonna be smelling his fingers why he listens to this. Remember him why he likes it. Yeah. And we got... She wrote me a letter in class. We got... We didn't get great seats either

because it was sold. What? Yeah, it was sold out. We got like... You can't get good seats for this? No, it was almost sold out. He's got 13 million views. Yeah.

Where is he playing? Guilford. Look up this concert on Siki. What's his name? Zach Top. Yeah. Zach Top. I was trying to get like front VIP.

I was like, we're going to do it. We'll do VIP. I did get VIP parking. But, which I got shit for. It was $120. I'm like, I'm not walking. And this place is like, it's outweigh. So you park like 10 miles.

Nowhere. I'm not walking. I did it on fully loaded. It was pretty crazy place. It's a cool place. Very cool place. Cool town. Cool area.

Cool stage. It's only like a half hour from the house. It's independently owned. Yeah. Country music fans are bananas. Where? Bobby, there's tickets in every single section.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Tickets that Don would allow me to buy. She would not let me... How much is a ticket up front? About as much as parking? How much? $193?

Yeah, she's not going to let me spend $600 all of the tickets. She wouldn't allow it. We were sitting in C, 3C. which isn't that bad. Damn, dude. Yeah, 3C. It's not the lawn.

But you're row 1 and 3C. No. No. Row 19. You know. Yep. I know. For...

I should have called you and had you get them. For Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson. 12 tickets? Yeah. 12 tickets I bought. Okay. Yep. All right.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how to do it. I panic. You panic. Here's the thing, though. If it was a country star that was I liked, that was awesome, I would have spent the two bucks.

I don't know, Zach Top. This is what those 50s commercials were afraid of fucking happening right now. Now, Dawn hits you if the coffee's not right. Now you're afraid not to have her coffee right. Yeah. And she says, man, get out of my face. I'm trying to fucking fix this thing in our house. So you think I should return these tickets?

and get front row to Zach Top. If you're going to go. I don't want to do that for him. Oh, yeah, this is one of them. Shut the fuck ups. Oh, look at her hair. Remember when women used to get their hair did? Oh, yeah.

They used to have to sleep sitting up because they weren't going back for a month so they were just sleep like fucking the elephant man with something over their head. By the way, these commercials all have things like you want to be slim and attractive for your husband, right? Then do this. Smoke cigarettes.

And all women had weird bras back. then, they all had volcano tits. Yeah. They didn't have good tits yet. But this guy just gives her shit a better coffee and then she's just sitting there like holding a knife the rest of the commercial. It's pretty wild. But if you hear his tone,

this isn't the one, but it's one of them. Let me say. It's not the best one. You could play it. It's funny enough. Harvey, want anything special for your birthday? Just a decent cup of coffee. You're kidding. I'm serious. Honey, your coffee's

undrinkable. Pretty harsh. Well, so's your coffee. By the way he jumps up, it looks like he's going to hit her. He was. He jumps up, he goes, you know what else, bitch? But he starts going right now. He just goes, all the girls, he goes, the girls at work seem to figure it out on hot plates.

That is aggressive. Yeah. Is it? And then at the end, by the way, the best you get from these, and some of them have the words in it too. It goes, you know your man comes up from a hard day of work. And he's angry already, and it's like, but he drinks the coffee, and it's like, Her ease at the end of this commercial was like, another day I didn't get hit.

Okay, we just got through another day not getting fucking five across the jobs. And she seems like that's, and that seems like these commercials were geared towards like, run to the store now and get this coffee because you remember what this morning he was fucking going crazy about like pissed off. You won't get hit if you buy our coffee.

What a great ad. What a time. I didn't have any parents in like the, he goes, shut these kids up and get him out of my face. I'm doing a thing. I'm doing a guy thing. Yeah, the 60s ruined everything. Free love, dude.

Free love. Women voting. Yeah, we started seeing this on television. Women started wagging those fucking poons around, and all the guys were like, oh, then they started getting power, because everybody wants that poon. Yeah, they started wearing slacks.

Oh, Christ. Ah, fuck. Let me see the end of this real quick. I want to hear this. Make better coffee on their hot plates. Well, see you later. All he left? And he didn't even kiss me goodbye.

You don't deserve it. You didn't make good coffee. Oh, he's telling her friend. I hope her friends agree. No, her friend's like, my husband used to beat the shit of me, and I started doing this coffee. She goes, I started doing this coffee, and it's honestly God, it's been about a good month now. You haven't seen me with a Shiner in like two weeks. Yeah, that's even why I'm able to be over here.

He doesn't like questions from out of the house. Yeah, I get to go out. Let me play it again. A decent cup of coffee. I could relax. Oh, relax. Why don't you try? instant Folgers.

Tastes good as fresh perk. Good as fresh perk? I'll surprise Harvey for his birthday tonight. Now, suck it, bitch. Hey,

great coffee. It's instant Fulger's. Doesn't it taste good as fresh perk? Instant. Should we make this as a body brain

commercial? I've said that. I said that already. That's what I said on my live show this should be body brain commercials, no matter what. Just superimpose body brain over

But when you take the body brain, you actually hit her because you have the strength. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have testosterone within you and your fucking know-how. Yeah, Akawasha makes you focus on where to put you. But there's several of these, and it's always like, one of the ones we've watched too is like, he goes,

he goes, smart lady, like, you know, putting down tile herself, smart lady using something, something vinyl as best as tiles. It's just like her just laying cancer down. It was called, they're called, commercials that aged well, and it's like, whatever,

like vintage 60s commercials aged well. And it's like a 10 minute, two, just one 10 minute video I watched on each one, but they were, fuck, I did it by that on my live stream. It was so funny. Those things are nuts. Make you miss. Big Jay is going to be in, uh,

ooh, Mohegan Sun for Story Wars. That sounds fun. August 16th, with eight and 10, six, what did you say? Six, sorry. If you want to push you to Maine, August 6th. Go ahead.

With an 8 and 10 show, then governors. In Long Island, August 7th and 8th. Knock yourself out. After that, it'll be Royal Oak, Michigan. But God don't like a girl. Albany. Pushing up your dukey. And Virginia Beach, Baltimore, and Cleveland.

I mean, that's where the dukey live, right? For tour tickets and tour dates, go to Big J.com. You're going to get that dukee all over yourself, ain't you? YouTube.com slash that big jokers for his live show. Just don't do it. And Story Wars. That's a man. And Legion of Skanks.

Check those out wherever you can. And go to Punch Up. Live slash Robert Kelly. His dungs up there. For my stuff and check out. You know what dude. You want to be up in his low intestine. And check out the regs.

We'll be back. It's the bonfire.