The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Leg Tomatoes with Ron Bennington

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Radio legend Ron Bennington joins Bobby to mourn the passing of Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys. Ron claims that he died as a newborn and went to baby heaven where he spoke Portuguese. He accuses Bob of not having spirituality or music in his life. Ron gets vulnerable and opens up about his addiction. Bob's son Max burns himself at a camping sleepover. After someone puts a tomato on the burn as first aid, he then escapes from the campsite. Ron gives advice on whether to punish Max or not. The Bennington Show can be heard weekdays at noon eastern on Faction Talk SiriusXM 103. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly. Christina is very sad today because her California boy, this means a lot to her because she's from California. Of course. And this is their music, this is their band, it's her childhood, it's what all Californians, real Californians. Sure. And I guess this means a lot to her, more than us, more than you. Well, first of all, let me just say this, Bobby. First of all, Christine, is love goes out to you and all the other people from Long Beach.

It's a beautiful area. But Bobby, you have to understand this, does not like music. He's one of those people. He doesn't know music. He doesn't like music. Weird thing is he's got a great singing voice. It is a weird thing and it's not that I don't like music. The great Ron Bennington is here by the way filling in for Jay. Big Jay is right now struggling on a Rogan to get some jokes out. Okay. I'm trying to talk over Louis Jay Gomez who's like, doggy, doggy, doggy.

So thank you for filling in, Ronnie. But yes, listen, it's not that I like music. I'm just not a, I'm not a, you know, like a person. A stats guy. No, I am not The music stats do not exist. Yeah, they do. I ready. Yeah name five Beach Boys songs The one that just played what was that that was you can't be without me. You can't be without me Then there's the other one happy beach days happy beach day and then there's the other one, Happy Beach Days. Happy Beach Days. And then there's the other one, Your Towel's Wet, So Is Mine. And then there's the other one, You Got a Surfboard, I Got a Surfboard, Let's All Go Surfin' USA. Well, you finally got the end of one.

But Lou, you're a man, I see your Instagram, you're out at concerts all the time, you're loving music. Could you imagine a life without music? It's insane. I can't. But he's right though. He does love it. It's like a sport he doesn't pick a team for. You know what he's like? He's like a baby. If he hears music, he starts to move, but he doesn't know why. I'll take that. You know what? I love music when it affects me. I just don't internalize it where I have to know the guy and the bass player and this album and that album. I don't retain Ronnie. I don't retain.

Your name's Ronnie, right? Yes, you can call me Ronnie. Ronnie, okay. I don't retain. But what happened to you when you were a kid? Something bad? I mean, how do you not live for music? I was raped by a musician.

Okay. So that's good. Yeah. No, it wasn't good because it made me not remember people's names, band names. I just don't get into it. You look at music the way I am with hip hop. I'm like, I've heard some of it, but I don't know what it is. You are like that with all music.

Not all music. Do you have a band, Bobby? Do you have like, oh my God, I'm in such a mood, I'm gonna put this on. Have you ever made a playlist for yourself? You wanna hear my playlist? No. Let me show you my playlist.

This is called Dad's Playlist. Would you like to hear my playlist? First of all, the fact that you said, call it Dad's Playlist. Well, I didn't, actually Max made it for me. But these are all my, all right, here's Playlist. Would you like to hear my playlist? First of all, the fact that you said, call it Dad's Playlist. Well, I didn't. Actually, Max made it for me. But these are all my, all right, here's my songs.

Ready? You ready? Okay, here we go. But your son picked them. No, I picked these. He just made the playlist for me because I didn't know how to do it. Marilyn, Will, Pharrell Williams,

Marilyn Monroe. I like that song. Okay, let's throw that phone in the trash. You can't live like this. Moonshine from the Young Gun Silver Fox. Have you heard that? Hang on, now Man of Skin, Begging. I'm begging, I'm begging you.

But Bobby, you're Gen X. There should be songs that you heard. I do have that. And when you were younger, that matter. We got it right here, dude. You ready? Yeah. Okay.

I like Silver, Wham Bam, Shang-a-La. That's a good one. This is what happened to radio. You know what I mean? The fact that you work in radio. I don't work. Do I work in radio? Yes, you are.

You're closer to radio than podcasting. Are you sure? Jay works in radio. I don't work, do I work in radio? Yes, you are. You're closer to radio than podcasting. Are you sure? Jay works in radio and you're with him. I'm with him. I work mainly in podcasting. I love, the Foo Fighters, love them. Love the Foo Fighters. I love Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, both versions.

Love Van Halen. You love both versions of Van Halen. That means, my friend, you do not love Van Halen, both versions, love Van Halen. You love both versions of Van Halen. That means, my friend, you do not love Van Halen. Yeah. First of all, Ronnie, here's the thing with Van Halen, and I'm just going to put this out there, is that I loved the original Van Halen with David Lee Roth, but then later in life, as I matured, I learned to like Van Hagar. I liked Sam Hagar, his voice, I was like,

oh, he's got a good voice. And he's actually a showman, so I actually liked him. Van Halen? Yeah, because David Lee Roth wasn't a showman. He was a showman, but too much. As I got older, it's like, you know what? With all the spinning knives and the kicks, you're too much. Bozy, bozy bop! Spitty Bop!

Yeah. You, this is probably the worst Brian Wilson tribute show that took place in America. Anywhere on radio today. Now he's a friend of yours. A very good friend. Very good friend of yours passed away. I'm so sorry. Well, I'd rather you point that towards Christine.

You grew up in California and had the pride. It is true, Christine. I'm so sorry you lost Brian today. Thank you. And it, ugh. What's wrong with, ugh. Because I don't like that people claim things because they were born.

She's lived here more than she's lived there. She's more of a New Yorker than she is a Californiaer. No, no, no. Whatever happened to you when you were a kid, it sticks with you. You can't get, then she's a Californiaer. No, no, no, whatever happened to you when you were a kid, it sticks with you. It, you can't get, it's just like whatever religion was pushed on you, you haven't scooped it all out. There's still plenty left.

That's the way a place is. Now you would have known that. I know it doesn't feel as connected when you're in a foster home. But you know how you would have temporary homes. I had, I've had a few foster homes, yes. Yes. Temporary homes. If that's what you want to call them. Well, I mean, that means that obviously you weren't loved, but then-

Wait, stop. I mean, I was loved. My grandma loved me. That's about it. You didn't even say that convincingly. Oh, you're right. You know, when you said it, your thing went up. She was Catholic, she had to love me. So you're Catholic. I'm Catholic, yeah. What are you?

You don't believe in God at all. Where'd that come from? I don't know, it came from my gut. I was raised Catholic. Are you Catholic too? I'll tell you how Catholic I am. My actual name is Joseph. Joseph.

Because I was born in a Catholic hospital and had the cord wrapped around my neck when I was born, so I wasn't getting oxygen and I was dying. And when you're in a Catholic hospital, at least back then, if you're a little boy they quick baptize you Joseph, if you're a little girl they quick baptize you Mary. So why is this funny? I was dead.

Because Ronnie, Ronnie, I'm sorry, but I believe you, but you are a man to, you have a beautiful imagination. And I'm not questioning this. This is one of the most hurtful things. I'm discussing my own death with you. First of all, on the death of your friend's day, I don't wanna do that. Your friend died today, and I don't wanna hurt you like this, so I apologize.

Please, keep going. So you were about to die. No, I wasn't about to die, I was dead. I wasn't getting oxygen die. I was dead. I wasn't getting oxygen. You were dead, and they quick named you Joseph. They named you Joseph so you wouldn't go where? When you're not baptized and you die.

To hell. You're not a Catholic. What, to hell, right? So you wouldn't go where? No, no. So you wouldn't go to hell. You wouldn't go where? You would go to, in those days you went to limbo.

Limbo. That's where the little babies that weren't baptized. Sorry, I'm sorry, this is fascinating. I apologize, Christine stop laughing. So not only that, but then I was in an incubator for two weeks, so it was like literally two weeks before I felt a human touch, and that's why I end up being the addict that I am to this day.

Because nobody touched you. Because that hole was right there from the second I was born. Yeah, you were murdered by your mother. I don't think she did it on purpose because I was inside. We don't know that. How would she...

I mean, it's not like, you know, the cherry and you wrap it around your tongue. How did they come up with that? You know what I mean? They could have flipped it around. Maybe, have you talked to her about this? My mom's dead. Okay, well I'm sorry about her death too.

This is starting off on a bad note. I apologize, Brian's gone. Brian's gone. You were gone for a minute. You know it was a lot longer than a minute. Was it? Can I tell you something? Yeah, please.

It was so peaceful over there. You know what I mean? In limbo. It was so, no, I didn't have to go to limbo. You were Joseph. I was back in the baby heaven. You got quick named. Yeah.

You got quick named. Yeah. So you were in baby heaven. Now baby heaven, is it all babies? Yes, babies with some nurses. Because you can't just have all babies, because who's going to't just have all babies, because who's going to take care of the babies, right?

In heaven, you're taken care of by our Holy Father from the Catholic that you would have stayed with if you were a real Catholic. Wait a minute. Now, if you're in heaven and you die as a baby and you go to baby heaven, there's nurses and you're being taken care of by the Holy Father? And also, you can talk.

That's one of the things, if you read the Bible, when you're in baby heaven you can talk your ass off. You can just talk regular. Many languages. Oh really? Yeah. So you're like a foreigner. My specialty, only language-wise,

my specialty was Portuguese. You spoke Portuguese? Yes. And then you came back. Well I came really for the first time. I had no real, what you call this reality was not mine right and you know for a while, but It's hard when you tell something from your soul

Yeah, and a person that you consider a friend doesn't believe you I let me tell you something I am your friend and and I that I do believe you and I'm sorry that you died for a minute or two, or 20, and I'm sorry that you, but you did go to baby heaven, which was pretty wild, and you spoke five languages for a few minutes, which is fantastic. There is no time there, okay? So what you consider a minute could be thousands of years. You don't understand, I mean, obviously,

in a ten church you didn't go to Catholic school. But I did go to, I was an altar boy, Ronnie. Really, so that's where you got hurt. Well I got fired, I didn't get hurt, I got fired. Stealing? No, I was drinking the wine. That's stealing. You stole the blood of Christ.

I wanted the blood of Christ, why was I just getting the body, why couldn't I get the blood too? Right, I see. Why, see you go to like a Baptist church and they give you the body and the blood. You go to a Catholic church. Why would I go to a Baptist church?

I have been to one in a jam and a pickle when you need a little God in your life. Really? Yeah, I went and they give you the blood and the body, but in the Catholic church, the priest is the only person that gets the blood. What's up with that, Ron? Look, he can also give you a little bit of chowder

if that's what you're looking for. Is that, but is that blessed? I'm sure it is. It's blessed. They say some of the best. It's some of the best chowder. But, yeah, I would say this, Bobby, and it's very important.

This comes from you don't have music, okay? And then you also don't have spirituality, you know from you don't have music. And then you also don't have spirituality. You don't have both. You personally don't have. You talk about me personally? You never adapted to spirituality, you're confused. You don't understand music at all. I prayed this morning, Ronnie.

What kind of prayer? A Baptist? A fucking Maggot prayer? Is that it? Is this where we're going, bro? If we're going to the LA thing, I'm not calling it a riot. You know what I'm saying? It was a peaceful gathering.

It was until who showed up? The man. Until the people that lit the fires? Or maybe the people that showed up with guns. Yeah, alright, let's not get into that. It's too late. It's too late? We're into it. Alright, let's... Would you call me MAGA? Yeah, I thought everybody did. I's not get into that. It's too late. It's too late. It's too late. All right Let's go. Would you call me mega? Yeah, I thought everybody did I am not this you know What is it where is this coming from? Is this coming from because of our because of our street wars that we're having?

What street wars you're talking about the 49th and 48th Street? Yeah, see you're 48th people We're 49th people, but we were I believe we were originally you guys were originally with Dan the 48th, right? No, Dan was 49. No, he was 48. We were 48th until they started doing construction over there, and then we moved to 49th, and we never moved back. But it was like, we've been on 49th for a long time. Originally 48th.

So for about the first two years, we were on 48th. Two years is a long time on 48th, right? That's kind of- But that's before we had the construction. It made it a lot nicer. They put in the hot tubs and shit that we have now. Wait a minute, right? That's kinda... But that's before we had the construction. It made it a lot nicer. They put in the hot tubs and shit that we have now. Wait a minute, what? Yeah, it's beautiful over there.

You have hot tubs on 48th? Not only that, but there's legal, legal sex work takes place on 48th. On 48th? Yeah, on 48th. Is that what the construction was all about? Yes, that was it. Well, okay.

They were putting in like small legal brothels. Yeah, but do you have food trucks? We have food trucks on 48th. Anybody who eats out of a truck and considers it food, if it's not soft serve ice cream, it's not edible out of the truck. You eat out of food trucks? Well, we've we had the Japanese food. We had, what's that other place that the guy has out front? Taste of Puebla. Taste of what?

Puebla? Yeah. It's fantastic. Oh, God. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. Can I say something real quick? Yes.

I just wanna make an announcement. If you don't mind. Sure. I know it's been a rough day for you and Christine. Thanks. It's okay, man. Christine, again, my condolences to you and all of California.

I won an award, Ronnie. What's the award for, buddy? I won an award, and I found out today, and I've only won three awards in my life. I won the Devereux Lux Award for one of the juvenile delinquents that made it out of the system. One out of 30. One out of 30 make it. I don't know if you know that statistic. I was one of the 30.

I won the best comedy app. 2005, maybe six. Comedy Central best comedy app. because you know I'm always ahead of the curve technology wise. Sure, you had an app. And then today I found out I won a Trippie Award. For Asset? No.

I won a Trippie for you be trippin' Irish Affairs podcast, 2024, best pictures in Cuba. I won my third award in my life. And I want to say something right now. I want to thank, first of all, I want to thank Ari Shafir for bringing me out of my comfort zone, for making me do things that I probably wouldn't do and go places I want to go, but I'm scared to go.

Sexually? No, not sexually. All right, not all not sexually, but mostly just going to Cuba, a scary place, third world country, communist socialist island, and I went there and I was afraid, but he brought me out of my comfort zone and I went and I had a beautiful time.

And I wanna say to all the influences out there- I think you're being played off. I want to say real quick, I want to thank Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. I want to thank Donald Trump for protecting people all over. I want to thank that, you know, when you have a camera, hold it up. Don't be afraid of taking pictures. Don't be afraid of taking those photos. Don't even let people look at you crazy.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank't even let people look at you crazy. Thank you very much. Congratulations on the Trippie. Thank you very much. It's really like a very sexual award.

Why is it sexual? You know, it's a ball on top of a... Yeah, or a head. It's a head. On top of a base. It's on hey So what do you mean? Like you could You could do stuff with this like where would you put this? Probably up your ass really. I don't know if this would fit. Okay, you dickhole. No I thought that was wider. I'm saying that it was it wouldn't stay in

That's what I'm talking about. It would just slide on out Yes, dude, it's a It's a crazy a beautiful award and I'm so glad I did it and I'm so glad I want have you been out of the country Yeah, I lived in Cuba for three. No, seriously. You've been you've been in Florida, you know, you don't strike me as a traveler Well, I I the idea of travel has changed. What do you mean? Quite a bit. It's now like you could say,

it's like an influencer thing. When you see the way that you travel, it's like, oh, I wanna get my picture in front of this. Well, that's actually, I'm showing a picture of me in front of a dilapidated, third world country building with no windows and no walls. I mean, it's not, It's still nice.

You know what I mean? It is nice. When I traveled, I watched my friend's heads get blown off by fucking Charlie. I don't know whether, you know, that's your idea of fun travel. But when you're forced by your own sergeant to shoot a baby, to not leave anybody behind.

Wait a minute, Ronnie, I'm sorry. Were you in Vietnam? I don't wanna say Vietnam, but I went to a lot of Vietnam movies. So you weren't in the war, but you went to Vietnam movies. Is Apocalypse Now an easy thing for you to handle? It's not. By the way, you know what I love that you did,

that you said Cuba like a Kennedy. Did you notice you went Cuba? Cuba, Cuba, Cuba. You were like Cuba like Kennedy. Did you notice you went Cuba? You were like Cuba. Cuba, Cuba, Cuba. Yeah, remember ever here, John Kennedy, when he had the Cuban Missile Crisis, he always sounded like somebody from Boston, but the better end of Boston.

You mean Hyannisport? Yeah, the money end. It really is the money end. They're different people. They have a different accent. It's a weird, I don't know anybody with that Kennedy, you can't get there from here. It's that Petri Farm remembers, the pet cemetery.

Yeah, that's good. It's more Maine people talk like that. Why is my wrist like this? What are you doing to me? It's that award that you got. It's the award, gotta put over here. Well, you used to have a thing, they called it the Mid-Atlantic,

and you hear it in old movies, where they have that, you hear the women talking very clippy. Like Breakfast at Tiffany's. Yes. It's very like, hello darling. Yeah. Yeah, it was almost like a European thing,

but it was English. They call it Mid-Atlantic, because it's somewhere in between America and England. And that's the way that they would train people to talk, but there was no actual accent that way. So the movie people would train them to talk that way, to sound more sophisticated than the regular Joe. Yeah.

Hey! All the years you've been in the show business and you use the term the movie people. Yeah, the movie people. Yeah. Yeah, the movie.. Yeah, yeah, the movie. Like they were circus folk. Well, if you look back to back in the day, that's what they like to be called.

I don't know if you know history like me. They like to be called the movie people. Do you know history? Yes, I do. Let's go, what do you want? What do you wanna know, dude? I want to know, first of all, I have right off, I wanna know where your people are from.

My people are from, well, if you talk to me and my grandmother, Irish, Canada, and my father from Sicily, if you talk to Colin Quinn, my great, great, great, great grandmother was raped on the Kiber Pass, so someone in there. Right. But, I said. Now, when you say Canadian,

Yeah. Do you mean French Canadian? I do. Okay. Is there any other? Yes, the other Canadians. What are they? But I'm saying, so where were your people from there?

I think it was in... Or they could be native, part of the... I think it was Quebec or some shit like that. Yeah, Quebec. Well, this is the only place that French-Canadians are in. So you come from a long line of skinners. People would catch a small animal, pull the skin off, and mail it back. I don't know if we were skinners.

There's no other way that the French Canadians made money. My grandfather was ice guy. Oh, he was going around busting people and taking them away, separating children from their families. First of all, they're not separating children, okay? Yes, they are. No, they're not. No, they're not separating children, okay? Yes, they are. No, they're not. Yeah.

No, they're not. They showed 10 kids who were brought in and they don't even have a lawyer or speak the language. Buddy, first of all, you don't know if they're kids. Mexican people are very small. Oh my God. Very small. Okay, Bobby.

That could be a 34-year-old guy. You don't know that. Hold on, I just got a text from Jim. He said, can you shut him up? He's costing us many advertisers. Oh, that is a little... Yeah, dude, that guy cut my lawn last week. I know him.

Oh, my God, look at him. Oh, he's adorable. Oh, no. He's gone, too. No, he's gone? Where'd he go? Cuba, as a matter of fact, they've opened. Oh, he's adorable. Oh no. He's gone too. No, he's gone. Where'd he go? Cuba, as a matter of fact, they've opened up Guantanamo Bay. Look at his little feet.

Oh, and this little girl? They're showing two little kids in court. There's nobody there. She's adorable. She's crying. This can't be real. Yeah. He can't be real.

Who's that? That looks like Colin Quinn's uncle. Look at the headphones don't fit. That's so silly. This is bullshit. See? This is it. You know what a lawyer is?

Oh no. What is this? No. What's happening? This is reality. Oh shut up you California liberal. This is. Oh this is what's going on.

Is, is. There's no way. This is old footage. Are we watching? This is footage from when Obama going on. This is old footage. This is footage from when Obama was in. This is what Obama did. You know what? I love the fact that you guys don't even deal with the truth at all. Yeah.

That's called being an occult. That's called being a stand-up comedian. If we talk the truth, then where would we be? I don't know. You'd have probably be George Carlin. Wow, wow, that hurt. Was that a shot? That shot, that was a shot, that hurt.

I felt that in my gut. So what are you saying? I felt that in my gut, you know what? You're saying you're more like George Carlin or even bringing up George Carlin is a bad thing? No, no, I'm not like George Carlin at all. Apparently I'm just out there talking bullshit. I hate it.

I'm gonna start tonight, I'm gonna go on stage at the cellar, I'm gonna talk about this stuff. The cellar. The cellar. Here's what you ought to do. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened? Nothing. Why'd you punch the table?

I tapped it. No, you went like this and went damn. What'd you lose a bet? Can you feel free to express themself? Yeah, what happened? I mean, you hyper-focused. I just twitched a little. I'm worried about you.

Is that bad? I thought something happened. You lost a bet. I'm sorry. Something went down. Tesla stock went down again, and you started to panic. Oh, no. I'm good.

It was all about worrying about you. You had Tesla stock? Yeah, this whole life. I shorted it. So this is fucking great time for me. Yeah. Great time. But you know, he's trying to crawl back.

So maybe. But why didn't you sell when the only people that he bought the cars he turned on? You know what I mean? Like the people who are pro Trump, from just a business point of view, the only people who bought those cars were like California hippies with money. And then the Republicans started buying and then the

Never. The left stopped. Well the left stopped when he dodged, you know what I mean? But when Trump went out and said, everybody buy a car, they didn't. The cars aren't moving and haven't moved since January. You gotta get out today, take a major fucking loss. Now, Bobby, with you, do not be ashamed

that you're just an entertainer, because I think you're one of the best ever. Here's the bit that I love and I want you to open with it tonight. Yeah, thanks. That thing where you tie the belt to your dick and you come running out on stage. Everyone's going fucking crazy.

I tie the bell to my dick? Dick bell, dick bell, dick bell. Who wants me to ring it? You just start fucking hell or cop. Is there a bell on the thing? On the thing? Am I ringing my dick? Well, there's a bell on your dick

and then it's ringing as you're swinging your dick. I get it, now this could be perfect merch too. Can you call T-shirt Kevin and get me a dick bell? Would you feel worse if T-shirt Kevin died than it? Yes. Okay. If T-shirt Kevin died I'd be sick. That'd be your Brian. Yeah, that'd be my Brian Wilson. Yes. Yeah, that'd be my... Let me tell you something about the Beach Boys. Mm-hmm. I didn't get into the Beach Boys until 10 years ago, because I didn't understand how good they were, until I, later in life, where I was like,

oh my God, these songs are fucking beautiful, they're amazing. Now, the Beach Boys had an internal argument like a fight with themselves. The lead guy, who's the singer guy? Mike Love. Mike Love and Brian hate each other right? Well Brian was apparently went back and and you know kind of made up with people that went along and put things behind him because I guess he knew he was going. He knew he was going. But Brian had mental problems. What, what, because he was normal, and then something happened, right?

Right. He, was it drugs? Well, no, I think he took drugs because he was already like schizophrenic. Okay. So, there was a movie about it. John Cusack plays him when he's older. But maybe if you sit down and find out what your own nation's history is,

it'd be a way to go. Is that my nation's history, is the Beach Boys? Musically, yes. The Beach Boys were the only band that ever scared the Beatles, where the Beatles were like, guys, we gotta fuckin' pick it up. I heard that.

Have you heard pet sounds? You know what I mean? Right, right. They weren't, you know, no offense to you, but Vic de Mone did not fuckin' worry them. I'm gonna get into the Beatles. I'm gonna do a little more research about my culture, because I think you're right.

Because you're saying you don't even know the Beatles. I know the Beatles. I like the Stones better than The Beatles. Is that a bad thing? No. I like The Stones. If it were true, it'd be like, oh, Bobby's interesting, but just to say it to say it, you know what I mean?

I mean, wait a minute. That's just more pathetic. I don't know if I like that saying. What's your favorite Stones album? Again, I don't know. You don't have to, yeah. I don't, I don't. That's what I'm saying. I don't, but I don't. That's not like if you thought that, man. But that's your favorite Stones album? Again, I don't have to. You don't have to, yeah. I don't, I don't. That's what I'm saying.

I don't, but I don't. That's not like if you thought that, man. But that's your thing. I have stuff that you wouldn't be into. What's that? Like I'm into watches. Like I'm into fly fishing. Jewelry.

I'm not into jewelry. You haven't done fly fishing in a long time. I've done fly fishing. Have you done it in Montana? I'm going to, yes I have I. You haven't done fly fishing in a long time. I've done fly fishing. Have you done it in Montana? I'm going to, yes I have. Yeah. And I've done it in Utah. And did you know that the, you ever see the movie

with Brad Pitt, A River Runs Through? I actually read the book before I saw the movie. Why do you always gotta talk me? Well I'm just saying. Why do you, Ronnie? If you read the book you're like, the movie's kinda good, but is it? You know?

I can't fight with the book. I saw the movie. I can't fight with know? I can't fight with the book. I saw the movie. I can't fight with a reader, Ronnie. You understand that? No, but what do you have? I'm on your side. But listen, when you bring up reading, I gotta tap out.

And that's not fair. But why don't you get an audiobook? Why don't you be one of those special needs people? That's like Ozempic. Yeah, I can't do that. So is Zempik is offense. Yeah, sorry. I thought you'd do it. Who's doing it?

A couple of people. Not Ozempic, Majaro. Majaro. Sorry. I couldn't tell. How is it any good? I've kept weight off. OK. I'm not, you know, rapidly losing it, but I haven't gained it. OK. And it just what does it do? It suppresses.

Yeah, it just makes you not really care about food. Does it make you sick when you eat too much? Yes. So if you eat too much, you get sick. So that's what deters you. Yes. Part of it. Do you get a speedy feel out of it? No. Then why do it? There's crystal meth. Why are you doing Majera?

And that's what it is, it's Majera? Yeah, Manjaro. Okay, I thought it was from... Did you stop doing crystal meth? Are you done with that? Yeah, well I've cut back. You've cut back, but is it because of the price of it or because of the, you know,

the quality isn't as good? They're stepping on it. They're stepping on it? Yeah. And there's fentanyl in it, but not enough fentanyl. So it's not enough to kill you. Well, not enough for you to feel good. Right.

Right. Okay. That's good. Fentanyl, have you ever done it? No. I wasn't around when I quit drugs. Yeah. Doesn't that bother you, like when you hear people talking about K-holes and fucking getting

it? You're like, what the fuck? No. quit drugs. Yeah. Is that doesn't that bother you? Like when you hear people talking about K holes and fucking getting you're like, what the fuck? No. The only thing I mean, I do bum out about is that I never went to a bar and got on the rocks like a whiskey or because you a bourbon. I never I never I drank it out of the

bottle. I never went in and got. But you were a child when you got sober. A child. So how do you know as an adult that I'm not? Yeah. I mean mean that is a gamble I can't take. Do you gamble? Yes.

Okay, so then there is a gamble you can take. I can't gamble, I'm an addict through and through. I don't know if you are. Are you crazy? Yeah, you're not an adult addict. Do you have any bags I've bought in the last three months? I'll back them up on this run. What's that?

He's an addict. I'm an addict. So he's a bagaholic because I did spies when people tried to put a holic. That's not what we call it, we call it bag sluts. Okay, so please. I can give you two things he took up within like hardcore.

Shane Gillis gave him a sin. He he came in with tens of sin to pass out for to everyone for about a month. Yeah. You know why? But it isn't it isn't about that. It's about being Shane where he wanted to be. It didn't work. He's an older kid at 100 percent.

Yeah. You're an addict. Am I though, Poppy? Yeah, I think you are. Am I? You've got it under control, right? Really, nobody has it under control. Oh, there you go, that's an addict. I think you said it's very smart. Right, you used to do drugs all the time, right?

I did a lot of drugs as an adult. Back in the day. Back in the day and then later, then went in a different direction, closer to midlife. I could, like here's the thing with drugs. When I did get sober, I was with this guy and he was like, tell me all the times

that you turned down drugs, an occasion to come up, and I couldn't think of one. And here's what I do think. I just wanted to feel different than I was feeling at any given time. So I feel that now, you know what I mean? I feel this sitting here, like I wanted this to go better. you know what I mean? I feel this sitting here like I wanted this to go better. You know what I mean?

I think it's going great. I love it. Ronnie, I am so happy you're here. I'm so sad you feel that way. I love being around you. You understand I'm doing radio with the legend, Ronnie B. This is crazy. Like Jay's out and she's like, Ronnie will do it.

I was like, yes. I was so I was like, Ronnie will do it. I was like, yes. I was so happy when you said you'd do it. I'm sorry that it's going terribly bad. Well, it went- I blame Brian and that bullshit. If that didn't happen, maybe you'd be in a different mood. Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe?

I don't know, I haven't gotten a word in in quite some time. Okay, I'm sorry. To me, radio is a different thing. It's a conversation Okay, I I don't know how to do that type of radio. We don't we don't do that on bonfire. Yeah From everybody in the building But do you want to broad do you want to be a broadcaster? You want to be somebody who's in here knowing what they're doing?

Or are you just trying to come up with a different name for a vagina every two minutes? Stink, wrinkle, slippy knot, balloon knot. See, that's an asshole. Yeah, I'm sorry for all the chat you're writing. But what I'm saying is, you had me vulnerable talking about my addiction, which nobody does right and what did you do with it? I made it funny. I tried to make a joke about it. I

Realized I tried I tried and I shouldn't have and I should have here's what I should have done I should have been an ear not a mouth. It's interesting. Hmm. That's only half, right? It's interesting. It's only half right. But the last time I was in here and the guys will tell you, I was with Jay. We crushed it and we were just like, fuck, this is good. So and then somebody said to me that they go, you could do this with anyone. And I found out today that's not true. Oh my god. This was a tough one for me today. This is so fucking, it hurts my feelings Ronnie.

I love you so much. I didn't even know that. I thought you were being aggressive with me. Am I aggressive? Am I being too aggressive you motherfucker? I see, that's what I mean. I'm sorry it just comes out. It's the boss to me.

No, I love you Ronnie and I apologize. I'm gonna try so much harder right now. Let's get into this. See, that's what you can't do is try harder. But I'm not gonna try. Let's just flow. Let's just see how. I got a situation that happened to me over the weekend.

Being a dad. Oh my God, here we go. And a husband. Oh my God, this is not what people like. They want to not picture anybody as a parent. I want you to help me with this. Okay. Because you don't have a son.

I don't, but that. Do you have a son? Yeah. I didn't know that, what's his name? His name is Miles, but I don't talk about him constantly on the radio. Because he has a private life, okay? His own life.

I don't think of him as fodder or material. Well, I guess I won't talk about what happened this weekend. What'd he do? He had trouble pooping. I don't wanna talk about it. He pooped big. No, that's not true. What was it?

It was pretty devastating. It was pretty fucked up, what happened. I don't wanna talk about him now because I don't want him to be fodder. You're his? Yeah. Well, I don't want to talk about him now because I don't want him to be fodder. You're his fodder. No, I don't. I don't want to. I want to hear it. No, maybe it works. I want to treat him like Miles gets treated.

Now you brought up his name. I'm sorry. But how did you bring him up? Yeah. But I understand. I love my son. So that might be different for you. I love my son. I know you do. I love him. Nobody tries harder than you. What do you mean try hard? I don't have to try, I love him.

Yeah, you do try. I love him. All right. I love him so much. But something devastated happened to him. It's not devastating, but it was definitely traumatic. For me, it was weird. I think traumatic is devastating.

It wasn't like something that's gonna affect him forever. He'll feel, it's over now. It's exactly what trauma is. It's over, it's over. It's over, the whole thing is over. But he had a sleepover over somebody's house, another parent's house. And it was supposed to be a camping sleepover.

Like 10 kids were gonna camp outside in tents. And Max goes in the summer, goes away in the summer, and he does overnight camping. He's in a wilderness camp. He does all this stuff. So he was excited. I was excited. He's done it.

He had his own stuff and blah, blah, blah. So it's down in a rich part of Westchester. It's a wealthy family. So I go and do my show. My wife's home. She had surgery, so's a wealthy family. And so I go and do my show. My wife's home, she had surgery, so she's just chilling. She really can't do anything. I go and do, I have a show, I'm coming right back after, I'm gonna smoke a cigar after.

After the show, great show, having a cigar, get a phone call from my wife, Max got burnt. I'm like, what? Max got burnt in a fire, the fire pit. He was doing something around the fire pit. His leg backed up into it, and he's got a burn. I need you to go and see how it is. See what it looks like.

And I'm like, I'm like an hour away. Fine. I go, I got to go. I get in the car. I'm on the way. Max is calling me, Dad, can you please come? But I'm on my way. And I know the people, so I get there. And I look at his leg He's got like a first degree secondary burn on his calf

Apparently he was fucking around near the fire Pit and he backed up into it and it says his leg it burnt his leg his back of his calf And I'm like how did this happen? She's like why just went inside for a second I'm like this but there's only one adult, there's 10 kids hanging out. There's 10 kids at this party, it's 12 30 at night, there's only one adult, and these kids are all going mental like the Lord of the Flies. I mean, you really can't leave a kid, but whatever,

all right, fine. So then Max is like, I'm like, just come home with me. He's like, I wanna stay. I'm like, Max, you gotta burn, let me bring you home. He's like, no, they put tomatoes on it. I'm like, Max, you gotta burn, let me bring you home. He's like, no, they put tomatoes on it. I'm like, what? Yeah, one of the older kids that was there was like, I worked in a restaurant, you put tomatoes on burns,

and that heals it. I'm like, this is the exact opposite, it's acid. You don't put a fucking tomato on a burn. You don't do that. But I'm like, just come home. And he's like, I just wanna stay. I'm like, are you sure? He's like, yes.

I go, all right, I'm gonna hang out here for a little bit. If you change your mind, let me know. But once I leave, just come home. And he's like, I just want to stay. I'm like, are you sure? He's like, yes. I go, all right, I'm going to hang out here for a little bit. If you change your mind, let me know. But once I leave, I leave. He's like, OK. So he goes in the tent. One tent is throwing shit at the other tent that Max is in. So you get five boys over here, five boys over here. And it's one o'clock at night.

They're still being fucking assholes. And the father comes home and he starts yelling at him, blah, blah, blah. So I say, all right, I'm gonna go. You cool? Yep, bye. Go to sleep, come home. Dawn's there, I'm taking her.

Finally go to bed around 2.30 in the morning. The next day I wake up, Max is downstairs on the couch and there's food out. Apparently he came home and made food and watched TV and went to bed. But we're 25 minutes away from the place he was staying. Like I'm like, how the fuck did you get home? So apparently in the middle of the night,

these kids were fucking with him. Max went over to their tent, took all the tent poles out of the other kid's tent, and one of the kids in his tent called his dad to pick him up. And he's like, hey, can you give me a ride home too? And the guy was like, all right. And he gave Max a ride home at four in the morning and just dropped him off. But it's 25 minutes away.

At four in the morning, he had this guy drive him all the way up to where we live, drop him off. He just came in, didn't wake us up, didn't tell the people that he was staying with that he's leaving, just left. So they woke up in the morning, there was three kids gone, Max being one of them. I woke up, Max is on my couch in the fucking basement, and some Russian guy, Ivan, drove him home

at four in the morning. Now, would you be mad at him? Or would you be proud that he made it home? I'm sorry, I haven't been paying attention. What was the food that he ate? It was Greek food. Did he have his leg tomatoes with it? No, he didn't have leg tomatoes.

How old's your kid? He's 12. Just turned 12. He's plenty old enough for everything to happen. This is exactly the way you act when you're 12. No, I was actually in, no, I was drinking at 12. Yeah, well this is the same thing, he's burning his leg. You know what I mean?

He's making bad choices. You made bad choices. But he didn't make a choice to burn his leg. He accidentally burned his leg. He's fucking around there a fire. Yeah, that's true. choice to burn his leg. He accidentally burned his leg. He's fucking around there a fire. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean?

Like he knows what he's doing. You know, the kids are laughing like, hey, look at Max. He's fucking jumping over the fire pit. But the other people were all fucked up, like oh my God, I can't believe he was not here and he shouldn't have blah, blah, blah. But in my brain, I'm like,

the kid made it home at four in the morning by himself with some dude. It shows a little tenacity. He took the risk of maybe getting, you know. But at no time did you think about taking him to the hospital? I did, but. Burns are bad.

Yeah, I did, but he was like, I don't wanna go. It was all right. If it was a third degree burn, I would've took him to the hospital. You can tell the degrees just by looking at me. I don't know if you know this, Ronnie, but I was a burn specialist for three years back in. I apologize then.

It's okay. You didn't, how are you gonna know that? And he had tomatoes. Yeah, well, no, the kid there was like, put tomatoes on it. I worked at a restaurant. You put tomatoes on it and that helps a burn. It's like, you're fucking out of your mind.

I did hear that after 9-11. Oh, is that what they did? Yeah, yeah, they were using a lot of tomatoes. All the Italian restaurants were running out to ground zero with tomatoes. But here's the thing. Yeah. A kid is a kid.

What are you gonna do? I don't know, man. I mean, I was proud of him. I was like fucking kind of good for you. Do you feel like the kids were fucking with him now? Like you said, they were throwing shit at his tent. When I was there, there was one tent that was just being dickheads.

Cool kids. No, they were the nerdy, rich kids. And the other tent was the bigger kids, and they were trying to go to sleep. You know, it was 12, 30 at night. They were like, I had enough. And Max got in trouble for taking the poles out of the tent because then the other kids didn't have a place to sleep.

I was like, in one way, I'm like, good for him. Yeah. Fucking good for him. Yeah, you gotta fuck around back with that other tent. There's no doubt about it. But you don't like rich kids, you're kinda prejudiced against rich kids. I'm fine with rich kids.

Like, this thing has come up, Christine, and tell me what you think about it. So there's movies coming out this week with Pedro, whatever his name is, and Chris Pine. And they say, in movies, right, when the girls have to pick between the rich, successful guy

and the poor guy, in movies they always pick the poor guy. In movies, they always pick the poor guy. Because people feel like that's better somehow. But what is wrong teaching a young girl, hey, a rich guy might make life a little nicer. They will. Yeah. You know that for a fact.

Yeah. In the last couple years. But it makes things better. It took a long time. Yeah, but know that for a fact. Yeah. If you had in the last couple of years, it took a while. It took a long time. Yeah, but it did work. And if they're really old, they might die quick. That is a fucking terrible thing to say, Christine. But so you understand the are you mad that is getting into shape? You when you see the girl with Bill Belichick, that makes sense to you, right?

Oh, and it's just so, it's so bizarre, but it makes sense to me on his end, like just kinda not caring what anybody thinks about it. Yeah, but he's not gonna die. Belichick? He's not gonna die. I mean, he's closer than she is. Yeah, closer than she is,

but I mean, if she's in it for the money, fantastic, but he's gonna be around for a minute, so she's gonna have to live with him, and she's gonna have to live with him during his shit stages. Well, how old is he now? He's like, he's probably 60. He's probably 63 or something.

Is he 73? Yeah, he's, yeah, he's older. Now, you know the thing that they say that is supposed to be half plus seven, half of your age plus seven. So if you're 50, you're with a 32 year old girl, nobody gets upset. But if you're 20, that would take a five and,

let's see, five and seven. That's not good. Before you could, yeah. That's a bad one. Yeah, that's not a good one at all. So she'd be 10, and she'd be 15. 15 17. It's 17. It's close. It's close 20 and 17 you're still in trouble, right? But if you're 20 if you you're okay in the 80s 70 90s you were good 17

Romeo and Juliet laws now. I don't know how new what's that even mean? Like if they're closer in age, yeah Like you're not you don't need to you know, you're not like a child? Like if they're closer in age? Yeah, like you're not, you don't need to, you know, you're not like a child molester if you're an 18 year old sleeping with a 17 year old. Right. There's a video of, there's a whole group of kids in front of a Judas Priest concert,

and all the guys are like 20 something, and they're with 15 year old girls. That one guy certainly is, and he's got his arm wrapped around. You know what I'm talking about? Heavy metal parking lot. Yeah, heavy metal parking around. You know which one I'm talking about? Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Yeah, Heavy Metal Parking Lot. And there's one dude who's definitely older than all the... And these girls just like 15, just turned 15.

It's like, we're having a good time. Nobody cared back in the 80s. Yeah, but there was always a fucking older guy that would be hanging out, just trying to put tomatoes on your legs, and the next thing you know, you're thumbing it home with a Greek guy. He was Russian, Ivan. We had Greek food.

I don't know how he got the Greek food. Maybe they stopped at a Greek restaurant or a diner on the way home. Yeah, this video is fucking crazy. Yeah, back in the 80s, age didn't matter at all. No one give the shit. Yeah, right here. Is that... I mean, all the bands, the mega bands of the 80s, age didn't matter at all. No one give a shit. Yeah, right here. I mean, all the bands, the mega-bands of the 60s,

man, they all banged teenagers. Yeah, there it is right there. Yeah, that girl right there, these guys are so funny. And it's so funny, because they didn't even know he was gay at this point. They were just like, they rule. But you really are right that those bands all had groupies that were like 13 and 14 years old.

The good old days. I mean, but girls, they're 15 right there, right? Um, yeah, he's not the guy that was hooking up. I think he shows up a little later on. That's him right there. Yeah. Yeah, go back. Go back a little bit. That's him right there. Yeah, this guy, and he talks, I love the way he talks. He's going on a single!

No, that's not him. That's not him. This guy, my guy's way cooler. The guy who's with the underage girl. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Where is he? No, it's back, it's back, you went forward.

I thought he was maybe wearing, that kid just had a shirt that he looked like he made himself and said, fuck off. He's so fucking cool. Look at that, look at all that hair back then. God damn it. I love that haircut. I can never get it.

Now here's the thing, this takes place in like the mid-80s. Mid-80s. And if you see a mid-80s. Mid-80s. And if you see a mid-80s movie, nobody looks like this. Nobody, there's one actor. Now that guy's way older than everybody. Yeah, that's the one brother that loves Judas Priest back in the day. Look at all these fucking dudes, love it.

Do you see there's like one preppy guy in like a popped collar polo? Yeah, there they go right there. God damn it, I miss the 80 damn it I missed the 80s I love the 80s my favorite favorite and then disco came in did you miss go was before the 80s this guy was I think disco came in 70s and early 80s right I guess at the end of early 80s early 80s yeah. I was still there, but it was. And then it was, what was it, like, Kool & The Gang? Well, Kool & The Gang switched over.

They were a funk band first. Right, but then they went disco with, what was that? What was the song they sang? Now, here's the thing about Kool & The Gang. You know the keyboard player, Red, at the Village Underground? I don't, but yeah. Yeah, you do, because you used to do little bits with him.

Oh, Red, yes! Yeah, you played the. See, I don't even know that guy. I don't know this fucking dude. So you see him as a guy who just brings you up. 10 years he toured with Kulandagang. No shit. All over the world. Really?

Yeah, like fucking 73. See, the thing is, I'll talk to the guys in the band. I'll talk to a server. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know, I'll be. Yeah, I don't know why you do that. Because they're human beings. Yeah, but dude, I like to keep what we do on stage,

that's what we do, and then off stage, it's like, hey man, go do your thing. Yeah, but you're like, all right, I'll talk to a tell. I'll talk to a twin. Talk to a tell? You can't talk to a tell. Who talks to a tell? You don't talk to a tell?

No, who can talk, hey, what's up, tell? Hey, who, hey, who, hey who hey all right come on now? No, I've only had did you think he was southern I've only had I've only had three Three conversations with the tell in my career of being with the tell how long have you only 30 years I've known to tell and it's always Like hey, what's going on another one's up? All right? Hey, do you have a bit that that no I don't all right? I'm gonna go Hey, do you have a bit that that, no I don't. Alright, I'm gonna go. I don't have that relationship with him. Why, you talk to Attell?

Yeah. I don't, I don't. Don't you? He's a hard dude to talk to. I never thought of that. I always thought that he was a really, really intelligent guy. I think he's one of the smartest comics

working today. I feel that about you. Really? Yeah, I feel that about you. So maybe I should go hang out with Attell with you. Yeah. Maybe we should do that. Yeah, I'd like to do that with him. All right, let's do it tonight. Tonight I can't. Why?

The fuck, man? I'm doing some, I don't know if you know this, I have to get together with some of the other beach boys. What am I saying? Beach men. They're beach men now. They were boys when they came into this. I think he's the last of the Wilsons left.

That they're the actual original three brothers and their cousin Mike Love. And only Mike Love is left. He's the last original beach boy. And the drummer is, what's his name? John Stamos. John Stamos is the drummer for the band. I wouldn't say drummer, he plays bongos.

No, he's an amazing drummer. He actually plays drums? You're being silly. You don't know that. He's probably one of the best drummers out there right now. No one in the world would say that. Buddy, he's actually touring with Led Zeppelin right now.

They're bringing Zeppelin back with plan I'm not trying to do anything. Well is never doing zeppelin. I know that's such a bullshit thing Yeah, John's, you know, John Stamos is a sick drummer. He dry. Who's their drummer for a long time? I Thought he was playing bongos just like on this side like sound bring up bring up John Stamos playing drums He just did a video for Drumeo like getting ready to play a Beach Boys concert. Yeah, he's so good they were giving him other songs where he was just hearing it once and then playing it.

How many ways can this guy get puss? Oh, John Stamos? There he is pretending he's playing a guitar and that, alright, special needs kids. That's not good. That's not him playing. Play, John Stamos playing the drums, if you have it. Oh, there's a couple videos.

Oh, there he is. Go back. They said he's playing the drums here. Let me get a different one. There he is, right there. He is fucking great. Full house trim wasn't enough. I know.

Drum. Christine's like, please drum. Jesus Christ. Every video you're bringing up has nobody at the drum. It's nuts. They all say John Stamos drum solo. Not one video. John Stamos drum solo.

I mean, if Jay was here, he'd be yelling. There you go, right there. There he is, right there. This is one of the best drummers out there. I want you to be honest. He's known for being one of the best drummers out there today. Look at him. He's great. Look at that.

He is really good. He's a very competent drummer. He's very competent. Wow. That's pretty good. And with a woman saying, wow, fuck off. You don't like women? No, I'm just jealous of him. Jealous.

It's like you look just like him. There's no reason you should be jealous. You and him look like it twins. It hasn't translated. Both drummers. Yeah, again, that hasn't translated either. Who's your favorite drummer of all time? John Stamos. Oh, you're talking about Jacob? Yeah.

I apologize. I'd have to say Stuart Copeland. Wow, wow, that's pretty good. Stuart Copeland, now you realize that the police didn't stay together because Sting said that he over-drummed everything. He was just fucking going crazy the entire, he wasn't there to serve the song.

Really? Yeah. He's very fucking strong, he's very quick hands, but Sting is like, hey man, this is fucking every breath you take. All right. Bring it down. And he was like, fuck you. Fuck you. My they despise each other.

My drum teacher taught his son how to play drums. Just a little quick fun fact. Why? Why wasn't Stewart there for his own kid? I don't know. Your kids don't learn from you. I don't think. Maybe he doesn't have the time. Do you want your kid to go into comedy? No, I don't. I don't want him to go into comedy. I don't want him to do anything in this business.

I think he wants to go into the military. What side? Communist. Okay. Yeah, socialist. I think he wants to go in the army or something like that, which I'm happy with, I'd be happy with that. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? You get a free... Free meals. No, but you get a free education, you get free college when you get out, as long as there's no war. If there's a war, I wouldn't want him to go. If we were going into some horse shit,

I wouldn't want him to go, that would suck. into some horse shit, I wouldn't want him to go. That would suck. It's not up to you then. You gotta go. Yeah, well, I remember the Iraq War. Remember the first Iraq War? Sure. My real dad and me were talking at the time,

and he called me up, and he was like, hey, he was in Vietnam, like you. Mm-hmm. He was in the- Which side? He was on the American side. Why, you weren't on the American side? Not all the time. Not all the time.

So you flip-flopped? It was kind of a thing where we had to go up the river and I met this kind of fat guy, and he kind of twisted us all over on his side. Wait a minute. That sounds like a movie that I heard. Is that a- You only listen to music movies?

Is that Apocalypse Now? Yes it is. Bing, bing, bing. So what are you saying? So your real dad had to go fight in Iraq for- No not Iraq. My real dad fought in Vietnam. Oh okay.

But when that was, I was- Of age. Of age. Yeah. And he was like, don't go. If they call you, leave the country, don't. I was, I was, I was, uh. Of age. Of age. Yeah. And he was like, don't go. If, if they call you, leave the country, don't. I was like. Easy, Vietnam.

I don't wanna fucking. Easy. Okay. I was in art school, I'm not going. Yeah. Your dad's going fucking crazy. What the shit I saw? What I saw over there.

You know, the, a guy was saying to me, and he goes, you know, when we came back, because he was very jealous of some of the stuff that, and he goes, when we came back from Vietnam, no parades, you know, nothing. And I go, well dude, you lost. You didn't see the Patriots have a parade when the Eagles mopped the fucking field with them.

They didn't, there wasn't a parade. You're right, I never looked at it like that. We gotta fucking have a parade when the Eagles mopped the fucking field with them. They didn't. There wasn't a parade. Yeah. You're right. I never looked at it like that. We gotta fucking have a parade for the winners. Now we're having something 14th, I'm sure you're going down to DC for the no Kings parade. But we're having our first big military parade this Saturday. It's something that Trump wanted, it's Trump's birthday. Yeah. So he's bringing all the tanks in and stuff like they used to do in Russia. Yeah. In the May Day Parade. And it's like the first big military parade we've ever had. Is he really doing a fucking big? It's fucking bananas. He's really doing a big German parade? Did you know that? I know he was trying, he wants, he loves military parades

and we're the one country that should never do that. Wellness. So he's gonna do like a big German, Hitler, Nazi, Russian, check out all our shit. It's in this Saturday, and it's in D.C. There it is, you can get tickets, Bob. It might be a great thing for you to take you to Santo. So this is a Trump parade kickoff June 14th,

here's how you get tickets. You didn't see them bringing the tanks in on trains? No, no. You didn't see those videos. What else were they bringing in on trains? They got different types of cannons and shit like that. But North Korea should do stuff like that. They have those, North Koreans should do stuff like that.

The North Koreans have the gigantic hats that they wear, the three- And they march- Look at the train coming in. That's all tanks. And this is for Trump's parade? Yeah. That's how it is. How do you not fucking love this asshole?

What a fucking lunatic. These are all going in for the parade. And what's the parade gonna be? Just military stuff? And they're just gonna drive by and salute Trump? It's kind of a victory parade, he's calling it, I think. For what? What did he win? For World War II.

He said that everybody else celebrates for World War II, and we don't. That's hilarious. You gotta love him, dude. You gotta fuckin' love this maniac. Are they gonna be, are the troops gonna be slamming their knees down? I don't know, it's the one thing I'm not into. We're not supposed to flaunt it. We don't do that here.

It's crazy. 60, 500 troops, 150, 50 aircraft. It's gonna be pretty spectacular. And this is downtown Washington, D.C.? Yeah. So is it gonna be in front of the White House? Yeah. And so he's just going to stand out there on a wave and wave at everybody.

That's going to be fucking hilarious. Well, the truth. And the no Kings thing, is they're going to protest it? Yeah. Well, this is all over the country. That's actually the original name was no kinks. Right. Because a lot of people are doing weird shit Yeah, yeah, we're like I'll be honest butt stuff. What stuff? Yeah, a lot of butt stuff was taking place

But is that the gay pride parade or is that the no kinks parade? You know you can be gay and not do about stuff Yeah, it's oh, there's all kinds of stuff that you can do now. Like what? I guess dick to dick. Dick to dick? I like dick to dick. Yeah, I know.

Dick to dick is good. I like a hot dick to dick. Do you ever been sitting at the table when Matteo Lane was describing stuff, and he goes, he's only a bottom. He goes, he's never a top. And I go, why? And he goes, too much pressure in your ass. No, he'll take it.

But he doesn't really like the idea of giving it. Really? Yeah. I would be a taker, too. It would be too much. It would be too much pressure because what if they don't enjoy it? What if you put it in there, just looking right at your face, not just not blinking. Have you ever had that situation with a woman? Um, I've only had anal sex a few times and It's all been terrible You like the feeling no one time. I didn't know it wasn't two times. I didn't know it was in the butt

So you thought I thought it was in the vagina. She's like you carry it away. She was like, I love it in my ass I'm like it's in your vagina. She's like, she was like, I love it in my ass. I'm like, it's in your ass. She's like, yeah. I'm like, ugh. That sounds like a big woman. It was a woman. Yeah. It was a woman. But a big one.

Yeah, she was an older woman. Let's just put it that way. I understand. And then the other one was a girl that I was, my girlfriend when I was a little boy and I was living with six retarded men. I was there to watch them. And I lived in the house with them,

and I had to watch them five days a week. But on the weekends I had off so I could do stand up. And they paid me like 100 bucks a week. But I just had to be there from 11 to eight in the morning, Monday through Friday. And this girl, I used to bring girls over, and I had this girl over one night, Tawny. She was an Italian girl.

She used to be my girlfriend when we were kids. Met later in life, which is kind of hot, because she had big boobies, nice Italian girl, and we were fooling around in the living room, and then she was like, I want you to do it in my butt. And I was like, all right. So I started doing it in her butt. It was really nice.

And then I heard, ball? Ball? That's coming out of her ass? No, no, no, no, that was coming from there. I was so scared. I'm so much scared. Ball? I was like, oh shit, it was one of the dudes calling my name

and he was in the bathroom. So I was like, I'll be right back. I gotta go, you know, it was one of the dudes calling my name, and he was in the bathroom. So I was like, I'll be right back, I gotta go, you know, I'm on duty. So I went in the bathroom, and apparently he had diarrhea and he just shit, and it looked like he spun around in the bathroom, because there was just shit everywhere. So I had to... I couldn't help him clean it up, because I'll throw up,

so I had to direct him from outside of the bathroom how to clean everything up and get into the shower and wash off. And it took around 35, 40 minutes to get this done. And then when I went back in, she was still lying there with her legs open, and she's like, you ready? I'm like, I'm done. I just, I'm sorry. And ended everything.

Never seen her again. Never seen her again. So it was you and five special needs. Six. Six special needs guys. Elderly. Yeah. There were 50 and up. But if you found out today.

Yeah. That you were just one of the special needs guys. Like the Matrix. Would you know it? Like, would that suddenly make sense? I have a very Down syndrome face. Yes. You know what I mean?

So if David says, because I know you were one in 30. I have a very Down syndrome face. Yes. You know what I mean? So if David says, because I know you were one in 30. I have a long tongue too. One in 30 would be like a special needs move. Right. Maybe I was, maybe I was retarded this whole time. Yeah. Well, I lived with those guys for three years.

Yeah. And they actually became my friends. I'm sure. I used to hang out with them. Like take them out. Dream team. Take them out to hang out with them, like take them out. Dream team, take them out to ball games? No, I took them out, we'd go for lunch. I put Barry on the back of my motorcycle

and put the helmet on just the top of his head. Oh God. Because it didn't fit. It didn't fit, it would just go under his chin a little bit. We're gonna take a break right now. The great Ron Bennington, thank you so much for coming in. I'm sorry you're having a bad time, Ron. It makes me sad. But I'm retarded. Which we found out. So I have Down Syndrome. Ron Bennington is here. You can listen to him live, noon to 2 Eastern, right here on Faction Talk 103. The Great

Big Jay Okerson is in San Diego this week and June 12th through the 14th, and then he's in Charlotte Tacoma, Sacramento he's doing the the Story Wars tonight. I don't know if there's any tickets I think it's sold out but go down and say hi Anyways, go to big J comedy comm and YouTube to shout a special they them It's youtube.com slash at big J. Okerson and look at I got one show this summer That's it Empire Comedy Club in Maine the 25th and 26th. That's it. That's the only time you're gonna see me all summer long

I take the summer off so go to punchup dot live slash Robert Kelly and We'll be right back with the great Ron Bennington and the mediocre Robert Kelly right after this. Crackle, crackle.