The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Lemon Party with Chris Stanley

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

The gang loves Chris Stanley so much that they invited him back to fill in for Bobby again! Chris educates Jay on Beast Games and Lemon Parties. | The rapper Skrilla saved a junkie from certain death by gently rubbing the spot where is heart might be. | Puerto Ricans sometimes taxidermy their loved ones to display them doing what they enjoyed in life, like playing video games. | Both Jay and Chris gave away sucking machines on their shows at the Gas Digital Network. Chris Stanley can be found on "High Society Radio" for Gas Digital and "The Bennington Show" on SiriusXM! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Yo, fuck New York. Jesus, Louises. I thought I was booked on the Bonfire, not Eddie Trunk Show. Yeah. It's a 45-minute long, is this Primus? What song? Iron Maiden.

Oh, okay. God. Oh, Maiden. All right, raise the fist. It's a maiden, dude. I don't know if they have to catch any shrapnel for this. Oh, God. Maiden did nothing wrong. the maiden didn't do anything wrong my calves are burning

yeah but they're ripped they are ripped I mean you're getting form you know as opposed to just you're not wrong my calves are it's a good sign I don't know if you know this for real or if you just have poking fun right now but I got pretty sick calves oh it came up on Ron and Fez many years ago

hang on the people want to see do they who's asking I don't hear anyone ask it's hard to get my jeans over I mean, because they're so, you know, swole. That's what the kids say. Look at that cut. Come on.

You're geeked right now. Jacob, take a peek. Oh, I know. Just get over and take a little shot, though. Why not? Just look at it. Yeah. Caress it.

You know, let yourself get a little peek, dude. See what's going on. Why not? Just get off a little bit, you know? It's Christmas that. Ow. Yeah, dude. Iron.

Pure iron. Pure iron. Yeah. Maiden. I wish. Yes, I do get it. I wish. Man. oh i wish that my super strong calves weren't when someone's like the story like what do you squat i'm

like oh my big fat body weight my whole life my own weight i'm a body weight workout guy oh my legs they're fucking shredded from dragging around this big blubbery torso my entire life don't say that dude come on i'm sorry come on you got to speak positive about yourself by the way since we last talked chris stanley chris daly joining us today i mean two times in a week i mean i i i'm the clip on Monday, so I don't know why I'm going to talk about. The man, the myth, the legend, is here yet again. We've got them out twice. That is fucking awesome.

What the hell is I just going to say now? Cavs. No. It seems like this is mostly going to be a calves episode. Yeah, we probably are going to talk mostly about fucking calves. It's mostly about calves, body positivity. The serious

sex time Christmas party, you missed the first hour and 11 minutes of it. I, well, got off. Everyone's making out. I got off the wrong exit. or the wrong elevator. That's like the long expressway. It's an extra.

I got off the wrong elevator floor and walked directly through. Of all days, don't have my badge. Of course not. So I got to get the thing. Then I get on 35 and have to ask a guy who's sweeping thankfully right by the door. It's so sad, man.

Not at the party. I knocked and he just opened it for me. That's some Bob Cratchett shit right there. Then I see, of course, the worst person has seen the situation. Jim McClure wondering why I'm at the party when I'm supposed to be on air five minutes ago. You know, I've been hearing a lot of maid in.

on the channel right now. Curious. Are you guys doing a maiden block? Are you guys getting the lead out over at the bonfire? I was waiting for you on 36 and I just saw you coming up the stairs. I can't have the fucking stairs, dude.

I saw everybody. Good for the cabs. I saw Moral and Andy who both wanted to give me another like, dude, thanks again for doing the line. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. And then Jim McCor was like, what the fuck? You know, I know, there's a thing and on the wrong elevator thing.

It's the elevator. So after all of my, I mean, shredded burning calves from hauling ass in through the rainy city to get here from the, Bobby Kelly's picked super far parking lot from here. Caves burning got off on the wrong floor, had to take stairs one more floor. One more little kicking the nuts. And then to give you, it's the one of those days things. Christine was, she was a party to it, having to see what happens. We got in the hallway, and we're like, all right, let's fly down the hallway to get here. Sure.

And there was people standing, like, to the right, walking really slow. Yeah. So we stepped to the left, and then two of those people stepped to the left to continue walking slow. That's good. Just to block the path, and it's like, this has been my whole day. Jay, it's a party, okay? It's a party in the halls. And it's with a bunch of people that I've never seen before.

And that's always fun. The fury that builds, though, as you're... When people... When I was waiting to get into the elevator downstairs, you push the button, four elevator doors open, of course, none of them are the ones that I'm getting in. And then you have to wait for a completely loaded elevator to get off where everyone's getting off with a real like, ah, what a day. And you're like, move!

Get the fog off the elevator! They don't have elevators in Gaza, and all those radio shows start on time. Because they have to live there. You should live in 1221. They have to live there, man. Not according to one state Oh fuck I hate this place New York City

You hate it too Jacob You like when I get all like this Fuck these people It's the best What are you talking about It's just a giant mass of people Bothering you all of the time All of the time

Non-stop noise I've had experiences in bodegas And like small like stores in New York Where I've like Well I have to leave here now Because everyone is crazy Oh yeah Just insane things happening

to people who aren't tethered to reality. I did that to I did that to some DMV people out in Jersey. Oh, Jersey DMV? I did a little, I got to get out of here before I start squirting lighter fluid over the fucking glass. I would say what rivals of DMV,

at least in major cities, at least New York, is the post office in New York City. It doesn't matter which one you go to. If it's within the five boroughs, it's like fucking Thunderdome. And everyone's insane because what people have, the desperate and the need,

are the only people who need to go to the fucking post office? Black people who ate your white ass or Hispanic people who don't quite grasp the language yet. That's what you're dealing with at the post office most of the time. Beautiful building, though. Oh, God, God, it's gorgeous. I love seeing like an old post office. Just know it's the same shape and size.

And the same fucking bulletproof glass. They also have a mailbox system. It didn't seem to expect, I don't know, the population to grow by anything ever since the 20s. that's not many more people going to come to the country yeah this is fine how many mailboxes is this one town in queen's need four if we keep stacking them on top of each other just build up that's what I always say you think you want to get out ever get out New York

yeah for the city at least I have I have moments where it's like where I'm dealing with so many psychos where it's just like I just why do I have to deal with this why is anything easy like if I go to the fucking like the pharmacy on Flatbush it's just like everything is under lock and key I'm like I get it because people are desperate and they're stealing shit I understand that but it's just like don't steal everything

don't steal the toothbrushes I want a toothbrush Oh so you can't have it be the things like I don't even know if they keep those Like it's always like deodorant is locked up Oh yeah sometimes toothpaste and toothbrushes Shampoo and conditioner for sure

It started with like tied Like larger detergent That was like OG like shit people were stealing from yeah and it was like why oh they just needed it and they resell it that's it there's nothing nefarious about it it was the genius move when I watched that dope sick love show

years ago is that like baddies uh it's it's like baddies but with more heroin okay no it was one of those HBO documentaries okay and I said this lady for a toothless junkie ugly fucking just putt of a lady

don't comment on her looks She was ugly as hell And her teen runaway boyfriend Sebastian She was in her She was in her 40 Whatever this lady is It's her for sure right there Her two scams

I respected the shit out of Oh yeah Prostitution without prostitution She would get in the car with you Okay Get you do a thing And you know I guess you hopefully be selective of the guy

Like you gotta get like a goofy white dude Sure someone is something to lose Someone's gonna scare them right away And what so she does is right away Like well I'm actually She flashes some weird stupid sticker badge It's carved into a piece of soap

And it goes like see if you can find that on YouTube Dope Sick Love like a prostitution scam or something But this was a doc show Just one episode It was one documentary On HBO, okay Called Dope Sick Love And I think I followed a few people

But the most memorable was these two Because it's this fun You'd love to watch just to fly on the wall They fight all day long Like everything you hate as a neighbor But like want to see as you're walking down that street Oh yeah sure yeah You want to have a taste of it

You don't want to live it. You don't want to live it. Yeah. So it's a lot of those, like, you know, him throwing her bag and everything she's ever owned in her life that's in that bag goes everywhere. And then she's like, scatters. Those are my things. And I need them. It just shows them getting, like, aggressive with each other.

Sure. And then like, but it's funny. And then just cut to like a half hour later there's on the train, like head on head sleeping. Yeah, just sleeping on each other's heads. Yeah. But in the process, I think the guy's like, all right, babe, I'm going to go to work. Blowing guys in the subway. and then she would do

and she would do the prostitution scam where she'd say I'm not going to do this actually I'm a police officer by the way toothlet is so gross I'm a police officer if you give all the money you have in your wallet right now

to the you know the women's abused women's thing we'll let you go with a morning it's a good scam here's the thing it's a scam though that in that same situation I would definitely fall for if I wasn't falling for it I'm just giving her whatever to get her out of my life

yeah exactly yeah And then, but that's always, every one of those guys, three seconds after she leaves that car and you're back on a main road. You go, oh, I just got robbed by a junkie prostitute tonight. I guess they are smarter than me. Yeah. But the one that I thought was great was go outside the grocery store, wait, look at receipts that people just throw out, find one that has, like, detergent or something on it. Go back in the store. Well, the problem of these people was their look.

if they just did this with like, if they looked like a normal person. A civilian, as I said. Yeah, you could probably pull this off longer. The problem is you go there with like, you know, your cheeks are pierced. Yeah, your cheeks.

Neck tattoos. I'm returning these three things tied. Yeah, they were no good. Yeah, it turns out I didn't need three things tied. I need crack. I need you smoke. It turns out what I need more of is crack cocaine.

What's going to get me high? Clean clothes or crack cocaine? Speaking of Christine, Why don't we take a peek-ups going on in Kensington right now? It's rainy out. I wonder if it's raining in Kensington? Yeah. Oh, nice.

That's great. Kensington is the, that's the Trank place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is Trank? It's something that eats your skin from the outside. It's a down. It's all opiate derived, I believe. That's good.

Oh, there it is. Oh, it's live stream. Big three have. There's some hoes in this. Now, this is a live feed. Liverie cab driver about to get scammed. Live feed is, let me see. It's like Cam 5 would be it.

cam seven one of those a cam three there you go it's a shame new york doesn't have a sort of cam like this you know we're really falling off there's gotta be i mean probably the Bronx for like east east New York the idea is to see people dying in real time it's snuff this is the stuff cam is what this thing should be fucking I've definitely on this thing seen somebody dead before sure but not like a violence oh yeah of course OD fentanyl yeah yeah that fent but you also see that's the funniest man when they bring fentanyl people back to life they are never psyched about it no because guess what they were high on fent before that oh everything feels good they're like you were dead he goes well whatever I was it was awesome

yeah I loved every second of it and you have now ruined it I just fell asleep what so I don't get to wake back up great now I don't have to find more fent one of my favorite games on this is when people walk by it's are they joining the junkie circle

or are they going to the Allegheny and Kansas Strington Avenue train system. Gildarets. I'm sorry life, Cam. Oh, I bet if you were able to zoom in, you'd really see some good robberies, though, and stuff. Or a Spider-Man or a SpongeBob. Or some flimflam going on.

They do, like, outside of college bars in some cities and stuff like that, yeah. Well, that's an S-A cam, then. Yeah, just where things, like, pour out into the streets and they might be fights and stuff. Yeah, maybe people yelling, let's go or six-seven. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what the kids say, Ohio's Skibbitty. Well, on the Kensington. cam on the fully loaded tour it's crazy that we were uh watching kensinkam on the bus one day

sure one night and matt mccusker looks at one of the guys on the screen he goes is that fucking scrella and he's like that's fucking scrella and it was really yeah holy shit now he's before like he's a name now because of the six-seven thing oh yeah oh yeah yeah kids kids love six seven but no one even knows what it is i think including the kids and that's the joke it's literally not it's literally nonsense yeah that's why it's the joke it was like a song and then it was used in a lamello ball hype video and that's what popped it off lamello ball of all

Christ he blows I mean you can hit a three you drill a three but come on pinpoint three point shooter for sure but you know what I don't like his weird fucking I don't like his weird skin tone the ball boys really fucking fell off like that was

a thing for a while like the that the crazy ass ball dad the bald dad just went away yeah I know because the one he fucking really jacked off over, I guess is his own son, but he, fuck, that kid blew his knee out, and then it's over. Well, he's a journeyman. Yeah, he literally is a journeyman basketball

player. That's what he is now. He's on, he's on who knows? Maybe the Pacers or something? And he'll be on a different team by the end of the season. Where's Lonzo Ball? Is he replacing Howard? Oh, Scrill has saved the guy from dying? That's great. That is great. It's a good man right there. He is. Just because he wears a mask all a mask all the time and, uh,

oh, he saved a white junkie too. That's a fucking dummy, by the way. Right relations. Is that a dummy or is that a person? You know what? This just gave me an idea. Jay, you should go down to fucking Kensington. And do a fake saving? Yeah, stop dropping fucking dummies around.

And then giving him CPR. No, no, no. It's like, oh, we lost him. Like you're an EMT. Oh. It wasn't CPR. I mean, I know he was trying to help. Did he really save his life?

He's just going like this on his chest. Well, I'd like to see if that person wakes up. That looks like a fucking dummy. Yeah. That looks not real. I mean, it's more than I would have done. I wouldn't have touched him. That's terrible, Jake.

Jacob. But I'm just, so I applaud him, but I don't know that he... If you saw a guy dead on the street, you wouldn't go over and see if you could, like, get his heart going again? No. What do you? Are you crazy? I saw a man passed out in a bus stop on Flatbush Avenue, and I didn't just stop. I mean, I didn't just walk by him. I went over, I pushed him with my foot.

Sure. And then he moved. I was like, okay, this is fine. Yes. I kept walking to the train station. That's a hero, if you ask me. Thank you. It feels really good for you to say that.

I appreciate it. If you're asking me personally, I appreciate it. I say it's heroics. First of all, I'm not talking about somebody who's just walking down. You're talking about a crazy homeless person. Yes, whose art is being eaten alive from whatever they're taking? No, I let them die. No, they deserve life too.

I kick them into the train tracks. Or just get into the train tunnel. Feed the rats, dude. That's where you deserve to live. You should be a tunnel person. Does he say, let's go play, play. Oh, maybe they blurred it is why it looks fake. I don't know, what's going on.

Again, is that CPR? No, yeah, that's CPR. I think he's putting something in his nose from the breathing. Narcan. Probably his fucking... There is Narcan. Okay. He did save his life.

So, Skrill is just, like, rubbing this dude's chest. It's not CPR, you're correct. He's just rubbing his chest where the heart should be. Yeah, he's rubbing his heart back to life. He's a... They're trying to warm his heart with love. It's a licensed massage therapist. All right, now that's CPR.

So he just turned him over and he just started jerking him on. Oh my god, it is a guy. Holy shit, he's movie. That was a dude. Man, that Narcan is magic. It's magic. It's like the power

of God. You're gone, and they If I were a surgeon, I would just have Narcan on me at all times, no matter what I'm doing. Look at him, kicking him towards the sidewalk more. There you go. Get up, buddy. He's got him up. That's the move. Let's get him up and moving. Crash test dummy man's

fucking back up and running. Yeah, I think I mean, he is dead there because the way his body and head and everything's moving. There's nothing moving. Like, it's just like he's just pushing him. It's like the shaking of just like a corpse. Yeah, it's a sloppy man right there. I'm sure he's still alive. Yeah, he's probably still doing fine.

He's fucking great. He's crushing it. What if Scrilla says he goes, now remember, son, Scrilla can't be everywhere all the time. Everybody gets one. Everybody gets their life saved once by Scrilla. What a magical man, Scrilla is. I don't even under, yeah, he's like a weird, he's into like, uh, voodoo. Is this it?

Turn it, turn it up. Turn him to 11 and rip the knob off. That's it. He said it. He said six seven. He did the thing. So Scrilla, from what I understand it, is a genuine, a dangerous individual. However, what is really funny now is because he's getting popular.

He was at the Sixers game. See if you can find a video on that. He went to the Sixers game the other night I think like on Monday or so over the weekend As he should be, he's Philly dude Yeah but they gave him like the seat under the basket And he, I think at one point they had to go over and be like Dude, you have to stop coming on the court

But he was coming on like he was like in the huddle I don't know, he's a fan, let him fucking be a fan And his full mask Yeah but you see the videos here, him holding guns and shit He should have his piece on him at the game Dude he would not stop coming on the court And they were really getting like buddy You can't keep doing that

Speaking of 6-7, so Mr. Beast tweeted this out, what if I got 67-67, of the biggest memes together to compete for $676,000 in $767. That's really good. That's the shit you should be thinking of. I really should. I should think I said the box. What if this was the 6-7 fire?

What if you did that? You get so many fucking zoomers listening. Did you watch, you watch Beast games, I assume? I watched the first episode, and then I watched the last episode. That's it. Just because I couldn't do it. Because I don't know if you've read this thing of like Netflix makes shows that they produce, change the script so that the characters say out loud what they're doing.

So everyone, so that, because Netflix realized most people are watching shows on their phone. Right. And so that, Beast Games, which was on Prime, that was incredibly difficult to watch because I'm watching it. I'm not on my phone. I'm watching. I hate watching this thing. And it's just Mr. Beast who has zero charisma and is just a fucking creep just like audibly narrating everything everyone's doing.

Absolutely. It was creepy in that regard and also like I do think he sucks because it's like the money thing he's doing is like and by the way

the same way you lose respect for someone when you play on someone's like you know it's funny to get people to do something or even podcast or something but you go hey for $300 like you know

punch yourself in the nuts and paint the word like you know quief across your face and walk around. And when someone does it, you're like, damn, man. Oh, I've, I've hurt humanity in general. So it's the same thing with that. It's like, hey, well, you, uh, just the

optics, and everyone gets it. Like, are you going to burn this fucking stranger that two days ago you were crying as your newest best friend? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're fucking him over two days later. Do I really think that's like unscrupulous? Like, not really. No. It's just though it's not even that. Those things aren't that like heavy stakes for me. Yeah.

It's for me, it's the guy at the top that I don't like is the tinkering of that guy being like that's right hurt each other for me and he's like and then he's coming in and goes like now you can do it i mean it's not far from the baddies in the sense of like hey for five hundred dollars punch that bitch in the face it's pure human manipulation it's fucking evil and he's and he's use the algorithm and his autistic skills to fucking perfect it at least the bannies are just keeping it to some ghetto households in myself no that's more pure to be totally honest whereas yeah desperate people showed up to Beast games. They all sat in a fucking square

like a thousand of them as you dropped them. Yeah, it just goes like, you're out you're out. By random chance, you're out. Sorry, you don't get whatever the fucking prize was. Five million dollars, I don't can't remember. He has unlimited money. I mean, there were the funny things in it where the one guy just fighting so hard desperately, he's like, let me do the, one of them

was like, how long can you hang from a bar? Brilliant idea. I know, but they just go, and this guy was like, dude, I got this. I for sure got that. And he was just so terrible at it. He like fell almost immediately. Did you watch the final episode? Did you watch the finale? What I find funny is

So the final, what was the final competition? They had to like try to spin a wheel With like, I don't know All I remember is, and I can't remember If he won or didn't win The white-haired guy? Okay, so it was The guy who says

If he wins, he was going to use the money To cure his son's incurable disease? What, where? In fucking Barbados dog? Like, that kid ain't getting fucking cured by you. But there is no cure. No. He thinks with his winnings from Beast's Kings

He thinks that somehow under a million dollars has been put into this has been put into this research yeah this kid this fucking deal with this terribly sick child yeah here's a disease they have a name for but no one's ever looked into it if we only had I don't know a million dollars

that's how few people have this shitty disease and this guy's like sucking off Mr. Beast Jimmy for fucking he keeps crying he's like I just want to help my and by the way whatever his son has you ain't fixing his son It's a thing that makes you like a, it's a forever thing. It's like your face is different and your eyes are a little, not where they're supposed to be.

The kid's totally wrecked. Kids gone. Yeah. He is what he is. He's saying to cure it for down the road. He goes, it's not what the fuck you're going to use that money for? You just had to find a reason. You've got to find a reason to say, like, you need this money for this kid who's definitely not curable.

No, no, the kid has got a bad fucking roll of the dice. What if he goes, or he goes, no, there's not so much a cure, but we were able to surgery. his eyes put closer together. And I think our new giant house actually helps him a lot too. I notice wherever his eyes are, he's really been enjoying the yard. I mean, giving a lot of the money

to fan duel. But also, anytime you turn on that guy, I mean, that's just a shitty part of the show in general right there. Because some people are like oh man, I just want to live a great life. You know what I mean? I want to give my kids an amazing life. Yeah, but they need a yard. Right. It's like that kind of thing. And then when someone

It's such a dick move where it's like, will you fuck over this guy? It's like, well, he's got the eyes far apart, kid. If I was on that beast games, I would definitely fuck that guy. First one, you fuck over. Oh, yeah, because you don't want that guy going to the end. I agree. It's the same feeling I have. It's like chess.

It's the same carpet pull someone tries to do in, and it didn't happen. It doesn't happen so much anymore. And if they do, it's not mean-spirited. But sometimes when I would do crowd work, you'd ask something, you know, you'd be like, hey, nice outfit. What did your mom pick that out for you or something again? It's like, my mom's dead or whatever. You know what I mean, that kind of thing. Oh, tough guy.

Or you have some questions. Like, my mom's dead. And it's like, oh, you're trying to pull the fucking brakes. Yeah. And that's how I feel about that guy. He's putting an immediate, like, a break pull in there. We're like, well, before you think of getting rid of this just stupid fucking guy who's competing in the same dumb game you are.

With creepy white hair. I have to think about him using the money to cure fucking other wide-eyed kids. But you know what? In my head, like, this is the beast games, all right? They don't want. Well, the editors and producers want that guy to go far. You know what I mean? Because it's like, oh, yeah, this sob story is going to be great for our friends.

fucking views. No, right. That's what I'm saying, but that's my emotion on the thing. Yeah. Is when someone goes, oh, my mom actually died. I go, good. You're not going to pull the brakes on me, fuck face. She doesn't have to see this crowd work. You know I didn't do, you know I didn't know that, and you're just trying to pull the brakes on the thing. And that's this guy's move.

He's making you have to think twice for a fictitious cause, I'd say. This is not real, dude. You can't fix your son. He's fine like he is. Love him like that. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah. That's one way to just rationalize. Yeah, love him the way he is.

Don't say, I'm going to fix other kids so other dad's don't have to deal with this kid who can't catch a football ever. They cut to like a talking head segment where he had to talk about. I'm like, look, I think this guy's kids living his best life. Yeah, I'm not sure. Like, you know, this is going to help anything. Never seen this motherfucker not smiling. Like, he seems like a sociopath. This kid dances at fucking everything, man.

He loves dancing. Yeah, man, I'd like to see some pictures of him, maybe pop up on my R frame. I've been sending a lemon party ones out to everyone I know. What's a lemon party? Think about it. Is that where you, should I make guesses? Would you really not know what Lemon Party is? Christine, please bring up Lemon Party.

Do you guys not know what Lemon Party is? I do. Come on. What is it, DJ Lou? You creep? Do you know what Goatsy is? The guy spreading his asshole open, it's in that same vein. A tub girl?

Why do I know this? I know I feel like the outside. You shouldn't. Please, fill me in, Sense. It's fucking old school. These are all things I love. Is it porn? It's, yes, it's pornography.

It's a single frame picture. It's just one picture. It's pornography. I'll just say it. It's three older men having a threesome. Okay. No, you're gay. Get away from me.

Stop that. You know, I don't want to... They're here, they're queer, and they're not going anywhere. I don't want to dime out your staff as Christine's looking for a lemon party. But one of your producers said, check out all the hotties on 35. I'm not saying which one. Really? Yeah, that's an HR violation.

That is a major HR violation. Christine, that's not how you behave. Everyone is equally attractive at seriously. XXM. Lemon Party. Just do a Google image. It's not on Pornhub. I really derailed this bad.

It was before the time of Pornhub, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, much. I remember the blue waffle. Now, see, I don't know what blue waffle is. That was either a disgusting cooch or asshole. I don't quite remember exactly.

It might have been both. It might have been the area between. Ooh, taint. Maybe. Yeah, there it is. Three to the right. There you go. That's Lemon Party.

All right. There's three like guys in their 60. one guy's making out with a dude laying down and then there's another older man giving oral pleasure but the guy the guy leaning over for the deep passionate

turn a frog into a prince kiss is an old Asian fellow yeah yeah yeah yeah it's interracial I'll say what the guy laying down is got a thickie if I'm being completely honest Oh it's nice Christine can click over the one where the old man's looking the other man's asshole

Are there other frames from this that everyone thought to think Yeah that one right there if you could see what that brings us to okay oh there's a video of this Jacob Jacob I'm so sick of the Jacob this is your Christmas bonus

I'm pretty sure you're right well we're watching an ad that's saying AI porn is here this is your bonus this year yeah I know serious XM's not giving you bonuses this year because they have to recoup call her daddy money awkward or hot

still wearing the Johnny so yeah why because he's paying a lot of attention to the top he knows what the guy likes so for some reason oh he sucked his force skin over his helmet. Ah, fuck me running.

Yeah, for some reason, searching Lemon Party also brings up just, you know, gay porn. Oh, God, is a black person you're ready to walk in and see this? Oh, there you go. Black Lou, I didn't want to look at this. Yet you asked. I don't want to see this, Black Lou. Yeah, you asked. I just asked what it was.

Maybe give a little more detail. What are we seeing right now? Oh, there's one old man up with his legs completely up. He's wearing some Adidas. Socks. They're over the ankle, but they're not calf. Anyway, he's getting his asshole sucked, I guess you would call it? There's rimming. There's man-on-man rimming.

By another old man. Yeah. It's not what you picture, it's not what you pictured a mature gentleman doing. Oh, wait, now there's three. Hold on one second. I need you. So we're watching older gay porn. Yeah.

And now rewind it about 20 seconds because it cuts to, I guess, the cuck or the director. And it cuts the black and white. And it's just a dude in a polo. artistic choice, smiling at the men making love. Take that, take that, take that. He's also wearing, if I might say, those steampunk glasses, where they have sides. I would say it's

Guy Fierry glasses. Or baseball outfielder. It looks like it has like the, you know, the leather that connects almost to the... Oh yeah, it was like driving glasses. Yeah. What do you think the median age of these gentlemen are? 15, 16? This guy's... Wait, should we be watching this?

This guy's bringing it down, for sure. Yeah, this guy's coming in late 40s, probably around my age. slash director is probably around, yeah, 40s, maybe 50. Maybe 50, and then the other two gentlemen are definitely late 60s, early 70s. Yeah, it's still hard. Still hard, and I got to be honest with you. Dix look young as I've ever seen. See, Dick don't age.

Dick don't age. D.D.A. I mean, look how old that man's body is, but look how youthful as dick is in that elder guy's mouth. Oh, younger guy is going at it. That's a beautiful cock, Jacob. Can you at least acknowledge that? He's got a nice cock. Thank you.

There we go. He said you finally got out of him. Just so everyone knows that you're not homophobic. That guy's got a beautiful penis for an older gentleman, doesn't he? Yeah, it's pretty smooth for a wrinkly father. Exactly. That guy now has an ugly penis. I don't like that guy's penis at all.

It disgusts me. They're French. Oh, three-way. Hey, Christine, don't kinkshame, all right? Older people need to enjoy sex, too. Spring break kiss. Yeah. We're all going to be the.

age someday, God willing, all right? And we're all going to want to have three-way sex with other older men. I do hope that's the case. I hope I really get in the bathhouse life when I'm older. I think you will. And it's relaxing. Yeah. I'm just going to go, hey, guy, I can be your otter or your bear, depending

on how I shave my chest or not. So let me know. I'll come back tomorrow. How do you guys want me? You guys want me otter or bear? This is hairy white back. Look at his tummy hanging down. There's nothing wrong with that. Oh, okay. Now, now we're judging. Thank you. The guy drops his

Guard agrees to be filmed, getting fucked on all fours, where gravity's going to do what it do. It's actually, no, I've already brought this up, but it really is evil, the AI porn stuff. Because the porn, the commercials used to be like, meet an old lady. Now it's just

like, don't even bother meeting people. Just masturbate at home. Oh, it's evil. It's scary. By the way, the craziest question that I ever get asked by porn commercials constantly, tired of masturbating alone. No. No. Yeah. No, no, no, I've always done it that way. That's the way I'd like to do it.

You don't like to masturbate in a room full of friends? Yeah, what's the question there? That's what he's asking. Now, would I rather be fucking than masturbating? Sometimes, probably. But then that's also followed by like it's mad libs of find ugly, like literally, this isn't even a joke. Find ugly women in your neighborhood. Oh, women over 60 are looking for you. Yeah, find older women in your neighborhood. By the way they say the sexy voice, so he goes, if you can get past the smell, there's 65-year-old women waiting for you. But imagine you live in that neighborhood where all the 65-year-year-old women waiting for you.

old women are trolling for dick on porn off. Oh, like the pervert park of old ladies? Yeah, exactly. I like that. Can I hear what the... These guys are actually Eiffel Towering, but they're talking. Can I hear what these... I'd like to hear you, what they're saying, please. The iPhone towering... A guy was... Former UFC legend. They're probably talking about 401ks

and, like, you know, investment opportunities. Buy, sell! Oh, my house has gone up so much. I'm a boomer. Sugar's up, but I gotta not have sugar. Oh, Christ. Yeah, what's the conversation about? Can I tell you the gayest thing about this? Even though I'm watching men with their dicks in each other

is calling another man baby. I don't know why that struck me as the gay. Hey, pal. You like this? Oh, is that too much guy? Yeah, what's up, bud? Do you want more? Yeah, you need more spit guy?

Oh, God. Imagine that's somebody's grandfather. Oh, I'm good. Imagine that's your grandpa. So what? I'd be like, hey, my grandpa's getting it. Hey, Grandpa. Or giving it, whatever.

If this is, let me tell you something, you get super upset about it being your mom. You immediately get way less upset about it being your grandma. You're like, get after, Grandma. Look, you're fucking on death store anyway. Get after. That's always the thing. All the porn stars I met on SDR show that have grandkids, they don't, a lot of them don't see their grandkids. It's not because the grandkids don't want to see them.

It's the people don't want the kids to see the grandf. Do you know what I mean? It's like, it's the middle part there. Yeah. Grandkids probably wouldn't give a shit and by the time the grangis get old enough the way it's like

Jennifer Lawrence's career still going totally strong after we've all seen load all over her face so much love like everyone gets oh you get over that shit quick now yeah but yeah

but the parents it's just like it's like a fucking almost a sci-fi movie it's where oh good God no I've been masturbating to what this entire time

and you have to try to change the timeline it's like no I have to go back would you go back and kill Hitler no I'll go back and make sure my my fucking mom's mom

doesn't do porn, so I don't feel bad about myself from masturbating to her. Yeah, it is funny. We've done a few. We interviewed a few of the old lady things, and they're up with the families, and they're always like, oh, it's, you know, they're not with it just yet. Holidays are nice. Or they're always as comfortable. It's like, oh, my one daughter thinks it's the greatest thing in the world.

My son hasn't talked to me for 10 years, and I have three grandchildren that I'm told are beautiful. Get over. It's a job. It's a job. It's 2025. I think it's age is everything If my mom made a conscious decision now My step-pop was like, yeah, I think it's great

And my mom was out there just getting Fucking plowed out on video She's in the top 3% of OnlyFans But the embarrassment goes away Because she's going to do old lady porn Yeah It's not gonna be like Your mom's not that hot of a porn star

That was never the move That's good because it's so niche Like you'd be mad if like Some people might be mad if like Oh they're just full on sex But if it's just like feed porn It's like that's fine I think more people will be fine with that

of just, you know, dude's simping for feet as opposed to just, you know, genital sex. Which is funny, because it's all still whacking off and weirdos. And I think someone who can finish to feet is weirder than someone that wants to jerk off to my mom. Oh, they're webbed. This is perfect for me. The only reason I would choose feet over my mom is because it's my mom.

But I would rather jerk off. And, Jacob, take us a compliment to your mother, for sure, which is sweet. Don't tell her that unless that's her personality, then do tell her that. Whatever's going to make the holidays nice. And everyone wants a nice holiday I'd say save it for the third day of Hanukkah

When does Hanukkah start this year, Jacob? I think like tomorrow Earlier, I don't remember I thought it was December 21st Christine's of the 21st And they said I was a piece of shit Jew for not knowing But you're more Jewish than me even You don't know

Oh wait, no, I lied It's the 14th Yeah, I knew it was earlier I thought I'm 20% Jewish a few years ago That's not true I swear to God I'll show you the fucking DNA No I'm 20% Ashkenazi Jew

Askenazi Jew Ashkenazi. Ashkenazi, daddy. Whose side? I think my mom's. I'm not sure. Everyone's gone. So you couldn't cry outworked me

about my parents. But... Well, your mom's in... But your mom's in... In Queens, right? Well, I was dead. No, no, but she was in Queens. You were in Queens.

No, yeah, I lived her entire life in Queens, New York. Yeah, you're gonna... I mean... Anyone you fuck there is going to have a little bit of Jewish in him. If you don't go straight up Hispanic. My dad looked Hispanic,

but he wasn't, oddly enough. He looked Hispanic? Yeah, he had dark skin. Yeah, I mean, well, Lewis, Jay Gomez, his father has one of the funniest pictures in the world. Looks like EZE. Oh, really? It's crazy. He's got like a jerry curl and an L.A. King's head on and sunglasses, from what I remember.

Had AIDS? He had AIDS? But he beat his. Also won a turf war with Dr. Dre. Good. Easy E's always. Is that Lewis? Yeah.

There you go. Yeah, he looks like a starting... Puerto Ricans with that attitude. I remember that band. He was just. They were great. He looks like Lewis's dad looks like a Puerto Rican small forward.

Doesn't he? He looks like a Grimes. Fresh at a Baylor. Fris and a bailer. Lewis's dad, yeah. I guess that was before he got stabbed. I think after. Well, it could be one of those Puerto Rican funerys.

You ever see those Hispanic funerals where they like stuff or embalm the body and have them hang at the funeral? Really? Christine, bring up those. Those are the best. Remember those, Jacob? where they're posed.

Yeah, they pose them up. In Puerto Rico? Yeah. No, it's just like Latino people here. I just lump them all and as Mexicans or Puerto Ricans, depending where we were started at. So probably Mexicans?

Okay, all right, yeah. But, you know, Puerto Ricans. Either or. I feel like they wanted this to land harder than it did. This idea? Yes. Didn't take off...

It's just a corpse? Oh, I'm loving the fucking transitions in his head is. In his favorite Celtics jersey? Oh, dog, this makes Italians look terrible. They only have, like, wacky reeds. Yeah. This is, this is true, this is true fucking respect for the dead. Look at this, your mom with a bushlight, a cigar, and a fucking,

here's this one playing video games and eating Doritos. Wait a second. This isn't a white person who does this business? Okay. All right, that blew my mind a little bit. I mean, human taxidermy. Look, they set up one guy as a boxer. Yeah, because the man loved the fight.

What if he was just a fan of fighting? Nope, he loved the fight. You gotta hope so. I saw a body game video not long ago where the cops end up having to shoot the guy in the house and they're over... That's out of the ordinary. Yeah, and they have to go,

they go over and they go, damn, you know that is, dude? Strongest hands I've ever seen. Golden Gloves champion, so and so, so, so he just shot him dead. They identified him when he fucking whacked him? The cop just goes, oh, dude, you guys know who that is? He's like, he's like... I mean, it was a point through.

He's like gurgling, dying. Oh, God. And they go, wow, you know what that is? That guy was one of the fastest fans I've ever seen toughest guys ever. Damn, he was good. He was so good. Not that fast. Not that fast. Not that fast. Well, he did, in defense of the cops here, which I never say out loud.

In defense of the cops in this one, the guy brandished, it was scissors or something, but he kept saying he had a gun. And he, I think he was trying to do suicide by that. Pull it, dog. I mean, come on. No, he did. For the gun or the knife? Or the scissors? Cisard by me. I think he did it. Like, he said he has a gun back up, and then he pulled out what he said was a gun. So they fucking, I know, listen, I still stand

shouldn't cops be trained enough to like every movie cop I've ever seen has been like I could hit you in if I ship fire two shots one of them hitting you in the knee I think that's just speed yeah I think just shoot enough that direction it's just listen my instincts if a guy was like I have a gun point on you my instinct would be to point straight for sure definitely wouldn't be like well let me put one in his thigh and see what happens I'm gonna drop this dude but not kill him that's our dream though isn't it oh yeah don't you want to shoot somebody in both thighs I mean, what's gonna happen? While you're giving them a speech

where you're doing a lot of talking with the gun at them And they're gonna give them a scrylla fucking massage afterwards I don't mind that, bring them back to life Then I'm gonna OD him on fucking Trank You've seen what Trank does to the body, right? It's like gangrene, correct?

Like it's like rots the skin. Yeah, it's very fucking awful Which I think we should try some. It must feel great. You want to try it once though and see what all the hubbub's about? I think Jacob should It's so good that my arm starts falling off no you're not even gonna give a shit if you're fucking

gone Jacob it's not gonna happen the first time you fucking nerd damn dude you hate fun first time's the best time so why don't do everything once do it the ones you're always chasing that you're never gonna find it again exactly so do it once so if you just know one time like oh it's like

act like you're like in another country going on a roller coaster that you're never coming back to yeah yeah it's like a roller coaster it's exactly like that Jacob the problem is you're not thinking You're not thinking about like it's a roller coaster, I feel like. It's like Jacob only cares about hotties on the 35th floor and not getting high. Damn, dude.

Was it me? I don't know. I'm not even fucking saying. I don't know, but I think you're super into the hotties on the 30s on 35. That sounds like a bad corporate porn. You want to go mingle? Jacob, go downstairs and hit on somebody and let Black Lou film you. Thanks.

Why? Hit on a guy. Yes. No, no. I don't want to go down to 35 now. Mike, you don't want to hit on a guy? I don't want to party too hard Is it because you're homophobic?

Big Jim's down there, I don't want to run into it now. Oh, good God. You're up Schitt's Creek. You're way up Schitt's Creek. I do not. Chris Stanley didn't want to go to the party because he said what there is, and this is a direct quote,

too many Japs. I did not say that? That wasn't me. He said he doesn't trust the Japs. No? Ever since he got some bad sushi. didn't know anyone down there. It was very confusing. Oh, God. And isolating.

That's what Trank does. It turns you into those fucking tree kids from Mexico. I mean, looking at these pictures of Trank arms. What would you rather do? Would you rather have to lose part of your skin or your body to Trank wounds? Or be a Mexican tree boy. Give me the trees, dog. You want to be a Mexican tree boy? Better weather than Kensington. Did you ever see when they try to fix the Mexican tree boys?

It's not a good job. But I'd find a better doctor, I hope. Yeah. I think Sirius X-Sem insurance covers dethring your body, right? If I saw a Mexican tree boy, you know what I would do? I would take a flathead screwdriver and I would carve Chris and Jay forever. With a heart? It would in the heart.

And if he's not screaming too bad at that moment, I'll also add a little, the arrow. Oh, yeah, you have to. I'll chisel in the arrow. Give him some fent and then carve it in. Oh, that's the move. Or Trank, I guess. What is this tree people? What is that thing that's wrong with their hand?

Why do they have a tree hand? It's a warts. Be inclusive. There's nothing wrong with them. Yeah, there's nothing wrong. Oh, how about, let's be honest there. The one kid with the fucking, he's got a tree goatee, and that doesn't not work a little bit. It's kind of cool.

It looks like fucking cyberpunk shit. He kind of looks like an island boy. She's a girl. They're literally turning into tree beard. I know. Imagine trying to whack off with tree hands. Oh, my God. I've never seen that.

I decided to masturbate this month and my penis is ravaged again Well once again You have to sand your hand down So you can whack off with some God knows what Oh no That

A tree person A person with tree hands Is the perfect customer For the Suckinator 2000 Whatever that thing is that we've given away On Legion of Skanks a few times I gave away that once in high society Yeah yeah

The Succonator 2000 It looks like I said it looks like a humidifier. It's too big. It's ridiculous. It's a giant device to give you a fucking blow job. It's this big. What you have to do and sit there to let it do, I feel silly. I couldn't get into a mode that I'm going to come.

You have to get into a mode. You have to stop thinking about the fact that you're jerking off and how silly you look to get there. How would you ever not feel when there's a fucking a fucking beta max tape on your dick going, a squawk, a squawk, a squawk, a squawk, a squawk, a swank, swank. You think it's a sound that the engineers have to work on fucking dropping the loudness of the,

the mechanisms within We gotta give this thing quiet See I think you could get to the point Where you can like you know Get hard to bang the machine But it's afterwards after you nut That's that's like oh no What did I do?

I know when they tell you things like Oh it's dishwasher safe Like I'm not putting that with my fucking Well I guess I'll fuck the dishwasher Oh yeah Oh why don't I get some cum all over my fucking sick ass plastic Eagles cups Oh that's a good idea

Also I'm sorry about fucking dropping the jinks on the eagle on Monday. I said it was a lock, minus two and a half. But Jalen Hertz did hit for prize picks. Yeah? 100 yards. It was over 6.6.5. And what was, no, A.J. Brown, I thought you said was good. AJ Brown. Sorry. Yeah, AJ Brown. Over. He was 100 yards.

You know, I imagine all the yards who would have had if he caught those two passes. Let's not, let's not even talk about that part. Chris, didn't you say what was the term 30 locks or 30? All right. Listen, Jacob. Jesus. I don't need you fucking jumping in on my shit. No. It was a 30 rack weekend. And for lockdown, you can follow Bennington SXM on Instagram every Saturday lockdown and every other day of the week. Fantastic Bennington content.

But there's going to be another 30 rack weekend, 30 locks. This past weekend, Jay, I mistake, I can't count. So it was actually 32 bets I gave out. 22 and 10. 22 and 10? That's like 70% against us. That's fantastic numbers. If you threw all your money into that, Jacob, you'd be a wealthy man right now.

You would have unlimited money. You'd have bottomless money forever You can get a guest You can just get yourself a little chalet in Fiji Oh my God You'd be on the Lita Express Whenever you want You can go golf at Kevin Hart's golf island

Oh my God, yes And the pedophilia there is out of control Oh, I bet it's crazy out of control Kevin Hart released the ledgers And unlike Epstein interracial Man, could you imagine if Kev I mean he got famous in a time where He definitely could have been on Epstein Island

Oh, 100% I hope not I mean God, no It's bad. I'm saying this is bad. Wouldn't it be the funny thing is like if the six degrees of Kevin Bacon is like

I'm also in the ledger because Kev did take me once I just never talked about I was all right I did go on a kid fuck excursion with Kevin Hart one time when he first popped That's it

He called me up He was like you want to go to this thing This guy's got a cool island Everything was so new at the time And then I got there And he was like no it is It's actually legal here And I'm all right

It's international war He went in Rome One in Rome or whatever Yeah that's it And then a Gouly Gully Maxwell made pastry puffs That's my Roman Empire

I guess pedophilia islands Christine, get this very reasonably sized thumb tech of a suckinator off the screen What I'm talking about Looked like a fucking old VCR Rewinder It was a box It's a box It's so big

It's like Also like there's the engineer An engineer has to design it right This guy like right Fucking draws up Plans Yeah And this is what he's spending

His mental energy on What can I get to suck me Okay, I'm not talking about one from the fucking early 60s, Christine. Middle ground. Not when you attach to a power drill. Like this? What was the fucking company? No, it was, remember it was like...

One's called the milker. I just saw that. That's not, that doesn't sound good. Get milked? I would, I would Google, uh, large blowjob machine. Yes, blowjob machine. Dick sucking machine, Christine, what are you, a child? It's like, it makes fleshlights look antiquated.

It does. I think it's second row, three to the right. Yep, I agree. That's what I think it is, too. The auto blow. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, that's exactly it. The auto blow. Yeah, it's a fucking room humidifier. Is that a like store your comb? By the way, that's in the world.

No cleanup needed. We just save the cum. It's a breeding machine. It's the world's best-selling blow job machine. I doubt that. If I was looking down on that and I was like, what I have a box fan on my dick? What's happening? It looks like one of those individual room air conditioners. Oh, yeah, I got one of those. They're fantastic.

Yeah, I have zone hand jobs and blowjobs. I don't know. It was huge. The flashlight has sponsored a bunch of things I've done. I've been in possession of three or four

flashlights in my life. Were they the generic flashlight or were they model after ladies? I think one was Elisa Ann. Nice. We had a Lisa Ann. We had a couple, at least two of like the people and then I think two randoms.

And so their vaginas have ridges and like squirkscrews inside of that. I guess so, yeah. And little nerls? I would describe him as neurons and I'd probably get checked I mean once the mold's made get those checked Ribbed for his pleasure They feel fantastic

Hey are you loving Chris Stanley here? I do Well you can listen to him on Bennington Here on Faction Talk weekdays, noon to two At High Society Radio also On the Gas Digital Network And YouTube Can I just throw out a birthday shoutout To Ron Bennington

Today? Not today, later on the month But birthday shout out to Ron Bennington Sagittarius Taurus I think No it's not Torres I want to be sadgies with him. I'm bad at astronomy. I want to be sadgies with Ronnie B.

I'm going to be at the improv in Irvine, December 18th through the 20th. The Milwaukee Improved New Year's Eve through January 3rd for tickets and all my tour dates. Go to Big J Comedy.com. Our holiday spectacular, I don't know if it's sold out yet. Tuesday, December 16th, 7 p.m. Village Underground in New York City, get tickets to Comedy Cellar.com. And of course, Bobby Kelly, he's going to be back with us next week. but he's going to be in Sarasota,

Poughkeepsie Comedy Works South in Colorado, Batavia, Batavia, Illinois? One of those two. For tickets and all other tour dates, visit punchup.org, slash Robert Kelly. And we'll be right back with Chris Stanley. It's the bonfire.