The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Let's Keep It Rolling

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Jay brings a hunk of gold into the studio in the form of his early stand-up video. A friend was in the audience for possibly the first time that Jay ever performed comedy and she sent him the proof. Bobby is about to give the listeners a sneak preview when the Legend Rich Vos walks in the room to join in the fun. | Jay is watching the series "Task" which is set in the outskirts of Philadelphia. Their thick Philly accents remind Bob of Baltimore porn that he's currently enjoying. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, oh, oh, boy. Oh, boy. Did you bring in a big hunk of gold for this show? Yeah. Oh, you really know how to... Well, I just found this. It's not even a gold.

It's diamonds. It's a blood diamond. It's blood diamond. This came to me in the elevator. Oh, God. I almost want to give me a taste and let everybody know this week on Thursday. On Thursday. You're going to hear us go through this completely, but we got to get a, we have needed taste now.

Listen to me. I don't know how we're going to change subjects, though. Listen to me. We're going to have to. We can't, first of all, can't do this alone. You're right. We can't do it. We need somebody else come in.

There needs to be a pile on. The name is more than just me. It means a room full of people. Yeah, it does need a room full of people. You deserve a room full of people. But Jacob's sick. He won't be here tomorrow. He won't be.

So we have two extra chairs. We have three chairs. We have three chairs. We're going to actually have somebody in that chair who's excited to be here. That's going to be fucking weird. That's going to be nuts. The family. I will be in tomorrow.

Oh, shit. You will? Yes. I heard you were deathly ill. I'm pretty bad today, but I'll be all right tomorrow. You don't know that. Well, don't get us sick, dude. We all got to travel and shit.

You don't know that. I don't want to get you. That's why I didn't come in today. Don't come tomorrow. I don't know if you're going to be sick. This is bad, y'all. This is bad. So why don't you tell the people, the blood diamond, the beautiful gem that you brought

into studio today? My friend Jamie from growing up was the, what? Oh, man, I lost a spike. I lost two spikes. Oh, damn it. You have more at home. I know. I've got to take the posts out.

You have backup spikes. I have boxes of backup spikes now, but still, it sets me off now. Now everything's off. Now I have a four finger and a middle finger without spikes. Why don't you take one of the, take the pinky off and put it on the big, the index finger? I will have to at some point match them up. You're correct. Yeah.

Yes. I do. You should go one spikes, one, no spikes. Somewhere small. Oh, you know what? I can put it in like my cellophane and my cigarettes. Well, this is the zestiest thing I've ever seen. Can you hold my spikes?

Please. Well, someone has to hold my spike posts. There's no point in wasting the spike post just because you lose the spike. You want to keep the spike post because you never know. You're going to lose a spike post? I have a spare spike in my car. You have a spare spike? I think I can put a spike on one of these things again.

Oh, my God. Weird. Dude, there was a guy in the audience this weekend wearing a shirt says, I love science. So great, dude. We all love science. Everyone loves science. I love you, Fluence. We love you, cackle.

She doesn't like it Cackle Come on cack I'm sure my awful laugh will rear its ugly head again Oh it's great She was at my show there the night It doesn't nothing like hearing it In the crowd

I told her this when we first started dating I said it's That one People appreciate your laugh because it's real It's real You don't want people to hear that And when it doesn't come you realize she didn't like that joke She did not enjoy what you've done. She is not like the path you're going on.

Yeah, it's a barometer. You've got to hope to God she went outside. You've got to pray to God she went outside. Oh, no, she was sitting there. Hey, Magic, what's going on with you over there? Yeah. We have another person in studio. For the taste, who can get the taste with us?

He doesn't even know what you came in on. You don't even know what you came in on. The legend. Rich Voss is in studio. I'm only here for like 10 or 15 at the most. All right, well, sit up on that chair. It's too high. It's too high for you.

High for anybody. I'm going to pick you up? Did the house land on you? No. He's making fun of Richie's... Bobby Bobby these. I did buy them for him. Don't fuck with him.

He loves them. They're nice. He has spare spikes because the spikes keep falling out. My spikes keep falling off, but I have new spikes at home. You stop grabbing the microphone. Shut up. It is crazy. what you're doing. It's not what you're doing. You're acting like it's not working. It works.

Okay. Put your headphones on. You're just like you're selling newspapers in Chicago. I don't like you. I like him. You're going to want to, Bob, you used to wear those same exact hats. Oh, no, you wore the Kango hats. I wore the Kango. You're going to want to put your headphones on for this. Oh, yeah. I promise you. He's going to have to put him on over his dumb fedora. Oh, there you go. Oh. Oh. Oh. Don't do that. Yeah, he's not, he's going to want to put him on. Right. We're going to only take a taste of this. We're just watching a second of this.

We're watching the whole thing. We might need Rich tomorrow. Oh, dude, I wish you could come in tomorrow for this. What's this? Can you come in tomorrow at two, two to four? No, why? All right. Remember you said that and then.

I have a major appointment tomorrow. What time? At three o'clock. Heart doctor, long what? Doctor. Netanyahu? Yeah. Yeah.

Are you okay? Yeah. So far. Okay. Talk to Netanyahu. Dr. Daniela. What's that? How come I can't hear?

Because you're old? There you go. So, my friend Jamie, who is the girl who told me I should try comedy when I was younger, said she was going through old photos. And she came across this. She goes, oh my god, look how young you look. So I went four some weeks in a row to the Laugh house open mic night and I bail. I didn't go on.

I just panicked. And I didn't bring any friends. So this one I brought friends, including my friend, Jamie, who I guess recorded this. This is my first ever comedy set. This is the number one. First time I ever, ever went on stage. Oh, I can't wait for this. Oh, boy.

Oh, I can't wait. We're not going to watch the whole thing. But I want you to just see what I do when I get on stage because you can just see I've been watching black comedy now for weeks. Don't, don't, just let us watch it. Okay. That's how sad my life is. I used to headline that room. Yeah.

That's how I met you Boy, I'm trying to see who bucks it now I'm sleeping on the floor Stop stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop Now I know this is a radio show and you can't see this You look mentally handicapped He does The whole, I'm doing something, the way I walk, there's something real

Like, I'm just trying to follow what I've seen That's true. That's called physics, you're fat as shit at that time Yeah, look at me come over You didn't walk you waddled That wasn't anywhere near my fat as I would say He snapped He snapped the microphone into his hand

Oh you stink And I gave him a... Come on now y'all Cut that shit Look at that chain Yeah that chain's not real No I wish I was hanging from a raft

Wait but listen Let me cut that shit Yo Let me explain what Jeff Jim Here's the deal on he's right Like when I did Jeff Jam Like if I did it now I walked out like, you know, you know.

And here's the, I mean, the thing is, I did grow up in that neighborhood, and we did do those clubs. So you did pander. You did pander, you know, because if you came out here, you're done. Now, it's funny. I said I pandered. What I never changed was, you know what? I should shut the fuck up because it would be funny if I'd come here.

And I'm like, yo, you know what's mad dope, y'all? You don't even know what you did. No idea. You have no idea. I have no fucking, I think I have a misdirection. about being picked on in my black school, and I go, and finally I couldn't take it anymore and stood up for myself,

and my big misdirection was turning around and saying... No, no, no, no, that's... Don't tell us. Let me ask you question. When did you stop doing the cut-it little thing? When did that drop out of your act? Oh, never. Oh, you didn't cut it with your music?

Oh, yeah, please. Watch it again. Oh, okay. Look at his karate chop hand. Oh. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Yo, that's enough. Oh, and you're putting it.

He put his face down. He went, oh, look at that. Oh, God. Bernie Mac Light. Light. Oof. Light. Yo, cut.

How about it? How about don't? Ah. Oh, jeez. Oh, you really are. Everybody ready to laugh now? Stop. Rewind it.

Stop. No more. No more. No more. We can't. Wait, just a little. Let me hear. I just want to hear that again.

I just want to hear that again. I'm doing the first show, can't leave. Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up? All right. You all, all. Yeah. What's up, everybody?

How are you all doing? Why are you waiting until tomorrow? Because I want to watch the whole thing and we can't do it today. We're going to do it tomorrow. We could do it today, but... No, because he's going to... He wants help.

I don't want help. I want other people to enjoy this with me. This should not be enjoyed by just me. This should be enjoyed by all your friends. Are you a key to... Let me talk to the way you understand. Yo, yo, yo, tomorrow... You know what you need.

We want all the famine here. Everybody, you know what I'm saying? I want to treat it righteous, son. Word, word, what's that? Word. Word. Whoa, whoa. Yeah, what is up with that?

Yo. What, uh, I wish if we could have Keith would be great. Oh, God, we wouldn't understand it, but it would be great. Tell him to leave now. Even black comics I knew. It's never been that black on stage. Oh, let me tell you something. What comics would want to watch my first?

set. Oh my God, all of us? Let's get Patrice out of the ground and just prop him up in the garbage pad. Just put a mic by the cemetery. He'll roll over five times. Lewis maybe. Oh, Lewis is on a vacation somewhere, isn't he? They're back. Oh, he's back today, I think. Dude, we got to get everybody in here.

God, what are you kidding me? Get to... Oh, God, please. Who, we should get Dan. We should get Lewis. We should get Keith. We should get S.D. She'd be like, that's why you do not piss him now. Are you guys doing reds him? I liked him better when he was black. Are you guys doing regs tomorrow?

No, not tomorrow next week. Oh, fuck. Oh, that'd be great to get the regs in here. Well, just specifically, Dan and Lewis. Joe would love it, too. Yeah, for sure. Joe would love a nice, a nice bashing on, what was your nickname back then?

It wasn't science. Back here? You didn't go to school. Just Big J. Just Big J. You were Big J back then, too? Started his only Big J because I saw the, like, the massacering of names.

and in my friend group there was little j and big j and so i just carried that i was like oh everyone's got stage names so it seemed to well they would i mean what they did to kurt i've always said the curt thing they used to mess up his last name or they would just not do it at all and stretch the word curt out the length of what two names would take so as it sounded like uh the 12 on sesame Street with a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, Kurt. Is that why now he's lost his mind? Yes.

What happened back then? Probably. Probably, yeah. Christine, he hit it. I did have an early tape of... I don't like what he's doing. He's trying to deter us from this. We can watch the whole thing today.

He's only got fucking two minutes left. Good. Play it again. Oh, wait. I'm going to hear it. Go back. Oh. He's...

Come on. All right. Wait. Everybody ready to laugh now? Oh, I'm stop. Wait, but you're saying everybody else stunk in front of you. Everybody ravely laughed now? I didn't think that's what I was saying, but probably is what it sounded like.

You're insinuating everybody's stunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got rid of laugh now? All right now. All right now, y'all. Yo, yo, yo. Who came in? You guys don't know that someday I'm wearing pink mittens with a scarf out of my back pocket looking like a chick, fat chick from hot topics.

You don't know that yet. How many you brothers got stamps? Yeah, black girls would be shopping, huh? I'm telling you. So I was that check cashing today. Yeah. I'll tell you this, when I did this, I was definitely still, part of my weekly job was to go for my parents

and pick up their checks from work and go cash them at check cashing. And while I'm there, pay the electric and whatever gas bill. Oh, you're so responsible for a little. That was the only time you were white. White people crazy. They pay taxes. I don't know how white you think.

think it was. I was doing it at a check cashing place. But my parents didn't have a bank account. The white powers, you paid it. Oh, we did pay it, though. Ultimately, we paid it, yeah. And then everything else just became drawer cash. All of our, all of our complete worth was in a drawer in cash. Go back, Christine, one more time. One more time. The way you grab the microphone is...

Atrocious. Stop agreeing with us. What do you mean? Say this is great? No, I want you to take it. This is her. It's Bobby because we watched Bobby on Byron Allen, and inside he thought he was doing great. Hey man, I killed it with marshmallows and hopchapalopolis. Hot chocopoulos.

Love you. First of all. First of all. This makes me want to quit comedy. Hey, let's get everybody's first set. So it happens. By the way, when I came to New York and thought you guys were the big dogs that I had to get into the crew of, Bobby was actively doing hot choppelopolis.

Yeah. And you were going, cut it. And I was going, Yo. Yo. How are you all doing, all, right? Give him one more taste. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

You don't want one more sentence beyond? Christine, hit that button, girl. Oh. Look at him. All right. Everybody ready to laugh now? Just one white girl. It's my friend Jamie.

I know. Keep it rolling. Keep it rolling. I don't know what the fuck that means. Let's keep it rolling. Yo, yo, keep it rolling. Let's keep rolling. Keep it rolling then.

This is primarily an all-black club. I play usually all-black clubs. I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over. No special way. Over. Over. You've been three different people since you got up here.

You had no idea if you are. That's why you dress so confused now. Big J is still trying to figure it out. Just different masks? This must. This must not be, this hasn't been my first few times. It must not be my first time. I said I've played black clubs.

You could be lying too, though. But I mean, this is early. It's early. The laugh house, I mean. I'll see you guys. This is great. I wish I wish I was. Come in tomorrow.

Come in tomorrow. You're old. It doesn't matter what he says. They're just going to be like, as soon as you find out is when it kills you. And you find out he's going to go, look, you got a couple years, I've ride it out. What is it colon cancer?

No. What? You know, and you say, it's true, I was out of 12th statement. meeting, I swear to God, this lady was celebrating two years. What was your name? She was 88 years old. I go, just play it out. You're 88.

Yeah, I thought most alcoholics and drug addicts say, like, even if they kick successfully, they go, if I hit that age and they go, ah, you got cancer. It's like, I'm doing all of it again. They can't wait to do it again. I hope you, I hope tomorrow everything's okay. Me too. What are you doing? Did you steal snacks from downstairs?

Yes. You don't work here. You don't even work here and you came here for snacks and coffee? It worked. Oh, God. They have snacks next door. Shut up. Man.

What a. What a. Bobby, you want to watch so much more. I just want to see the beginning again. The way you grab the microphone is so... Jerk coffee? Oh, no.

I wouldn't say jerk coffee. You're trying from the get-go to have some... Of course. Some oomph. Oh, look at that. It's like... He waddles. No, it's like what?

It's like a cool guy, limp walk. Well, yeah, but it's a fat guy trying to do it, so it's a waddle. Yes, for sure. But I come in, it's a real, well, no, it's like a... Like, I don't even care. Yeah, it's like a glide. I kind of come in with like a real, like, I don't even know, yo, what's up? All right, yo.

I grab this mic every day. Y'all having fun out there. All right, then, all right. I see this fine-ass ladies up in this bitch. Let's keep it rolling. Right away, let's talk about the difference. I'm the white guy in the black room. Yeah, but I love that you turn white.

Oh, yo. I go over the air. We started watching on Funioia's suggestion. It was good, good show so far. Task. I'm still, I'm in, I'm deep into Madison and I've watched it. Loved it. I'm crying

my eyes out. Yeah, right, this is a show for dudes. Magic, you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. It's a show, that's a show for dude who's not, Madison is a show for men who are connected to empathy. and their emotions.

And other men's butts. The sheriff gets really hot. You're also connected to other dudes' butts probably. You and Jacob fucking crying and sniffling at home like a bunch of poons. The new sheriff, his eyes are fucking overwhelming. You guys are ridiculous. Well, TASC is great. Set in Delco County.

Yeah, it's set in, yeah, it's like Pennsylvania. And it's the funny thing of it, they all do a pretty good job, and it comes up a lot. But it's such a serious dark show, hearing them, keep the Philly accent is great what is it about it's about the great do you watch Ozark yeah so remember the brother yeah her brother who came and yeah that whole story he's great it's him he's a criminal and uh Mark Rufelo is the head of a four-person task force that's trying to stop these guys who are doing home invasions but he's fun to watch dude it's so yeah it's so good right it's so dark and so fucked up isn't it slow and a little bit at the beginning it's not even so

It's so not slow that I was like, so much it happened by episode three that I thought would be conclusion of the story. I'm like, Jesus Christ. What's it called again? Task. I was like, oh, everyone on the show is just a great actor. It's so good.

Like every single person. On Madison, they all came together at the table and they realized that this is what the husband wanted. And they were all laughing. And then somebody started crying and they're like, why are you crying? It's like, this is what he would have wanted. Yeah, and then you got your period. And then Dawn told you you were getting blood on the couch from your pussy.

It does make me mad that Dawn didn't shed one tear. Yeah. And you're just crying next time? I had it pause. I go, I can't watch the show. She knows how to ask. I'm just emotionally fucking dying. She knows how to behave herself in public.

Whatever. Whatever, dude. I'm connected to my feelings, Jay. Okay. And I'm proud of it. All right. Hang on. Let me read what Alan said to me.

Why it's okay. Tell him you're connected to your feelings. And it's, yeah, that's it. I'm connected to my feelings, Jay. You come in with my hot chacabalabalibati. With my hot chakalabalil. Yo, yo, keep it rolling, Jay. Yo, yeah, yeah.

Buddy, this is going to hurt so much more than last comic standing. This is five minutes of just me doing Christ-knows-what, dude. Really making black people like me. And I have a swagger as I walked to that stage that lets me think I knew how to pander by this point, perhaps.

Oh, you're a pander. Of course. Oh, you're a pander. Oh, of course. Hot chocalabalabal. Hot chocalopalapalips and yo keep it rolling. Oh, we got a hot chop jalapal lips. What the fuck are we just saying?

I want to watch this by myself. Oh, TASC, what's so funny about it? So it takes place in Pennsylvania and everyone's got the Philly accent. So these serious and tense moments, I can't help it laugh because they're keeping the accent. So they're like, you guys are over there in the house. I'm gonna go scape it out.

It's like they really talk like, yeah. There you go. I promise. you tomorrow all this is going to be over yeah it's really it it takes me out of it for a second but just like it's so good it doesn't matter i found a new genre in porn um where guy on guy no i've had that a long time ago oh okay um i'm gonna it's uh they do that now it's uh no no it's that guy guy guy guy on guy girl girl watches it's actually guy and it's a guy and then a big guy who uh assimilates to be a black guy comes in but he's a white guy is a yo yo yo yo you guys so you guys so you guys so

suck in each other's corks. No, the new genre is, so it's a massage, right? Okay. But they break it up into four parts. The first one, the guy comes in, it's like a friend's girlfriend, right? And then he comes in and gets a massage, and his penis kind of flops out a little bit. She's, it's all right, whatever. And then it ends.

The second one, he gets her to take the towel off and then gets her to give him a hand job. And that's it. The third one, they take the towel off. He gets her to blow him, right, to completion. Then the fourth one, towels off. It's like a build-up. So it's four little... You watch 30 minutes of one scene?

That's crazy. I fast forward through the dialogue of the beginning, which I've already heard. But I did originally watch the whole thing. So by the fourth one, they have full-blown sex, blah, blah, blah. But I like it. But the girl in it, the reason why I love it, it's a chick. It's this blonde chick from... Philly and she has the Philly accent.

Oh, really? Which is such a dirty, dirty, slutty. Oh, when a chick goes, you know, when he goes, what do you want to come? She goes, in my mouth. It's like, ugh. I'm like, oh, I never, I barely make it past mouth. We found her. I've, I've gone back and looked at her stuff. I've, fuck, I can't remember her name. Does anybody else remember? It was, I think a guy said at one point sent us the thing it was like this is my ex-girlfriend we did porn together one of it's her and then uh she said if i heard her name i would fucking remember it but she was like a porn star that did like a lot of stuff and it was always that it's like you know

stepmom but remember that it's like stepmom fuck stepson and she's always like yeah what are you doing you're out all day your dad's not home yet you want me to suck your dick oh i love it you don't remember that i love it's like i want to say charlie baltimore but it's not that because i think it's baltimore accent maybe it's charley baltimore we heard it on this show right Yes, yeah, yeah, years ago. See, if you just look up Porn Star with Baltimore accent, because they may call it the Baltimore, the same accent, it doesn't matter. I'm going to send you this one.

Don't they usually set, put the girl's name in it somewhere? No, Charlie Baltimore is a rapper. Oh. Not her. Don't even do Charlie Baltimore. Just do Porn Star accent. Clover Baltimore. Bobby, listen to this girl.

She does it. Is this her? Is that her? Bobby. Is that? Oh, it is. Is? That's her! That's her! Yep. That's my... She's my favorite! That's her! You gotta get it when she's talking. She goes, eh, go, I'm about to come. Yeah, man. Oh, my God, it's so perfect.

Oh, yeah, we did a whole dig on her. I think her ex-boyfriend listens to this. That's her, man. Wait, let her talk. Turn it up. Oh, God. Oh, it looks like a piece of lamb. Yeah, like when I'm getting fucked in my duke. She's so hot. Stop it. Dude, that is my fucking 100% speed. girl with cum already on her pussy? No, not that part, but all the other parts. Okay. Come in there. Come in there.

Yeah, it's all leaking out down with the eyes. Oh, my God. Yeah, you're my dildo. She must have been boozing since, like, afternoon. Oh, man. You want me to put it in my pooper or my cooch? She's such a dirty Philly girl. She still goes to tanning beds.

She's got the tanning bed little lines in her ass crack because she doesn't spread her cheeks open. Well, it's Ballmore. She's from Philly, right? Ballmore. What do you mean? It's the same accent. It's the same. Baltimore has the same accent as Philly?

I never knew that. You learned so much on this show. Then you watched The Wire. They have the same accent. I did not know that. I didn't pick that up. I only know the shitty Philly accent. Yeah, go to another one where she talks a lot more.

Right there. To where she's talking in the store. I'm going to send you. Yeah. Yeah, you want to see my shitter in the store? Bring up the one. I just sent you one of her when she pretends to be a legitimate masseuse. Oh, my God.

Her cans are perfect. Oh, they're not. Yeah, dude, dude, they are perfect. Okay, they're perfect, fine. Thank you. Keep screaming. Those are perfect cans. They're fake.

I don't care. It can't be perfect that they're fake. In your world of fucking ghetto fuckingness? Perfect. To me, those are perfect. I love those cans. She's talking. Oh, look at a goofy space between her teeth.

Oh. You got a bowner? A bowner? A bowner. Yeah, you got a bowner right now? You got a bowner? Oh, please show me more. I can't believe it's the same girl.

Oh, that little dumpy ass she has. You've got a little dumpy filly ass. I think it's just bad underwear quite honestly. Let me see it. Until we're talking more. Yeah, I mean, Walmart, late night. Oh, so hot. That's mine.

Oh. I hate that. I hate the previews on the stupid thing. Dude, I love that we fucking... You found Clover, Baltimore. It's so funny. Oh, look at it. She's blonde now.

Look at her. Oh, yeah, she's talking. No. No, you're always welcome. You're welcome. See much. Yeah, appreciate it. Hey, boy.

Oh, man, you're set up in my guts. She's got that stupid gap between her teeth, which I love. It makes you look a little nerdy. You know what? Fuck the Patriots. Fuck, yeah. Go birds. Go birds.

Free Palestine. Go birds. One more taste before we shut it off. One more, just the opening. Please. Just a little bit. Stop. As everybody don't.

All right. You do. Everybody ready to laugh now? Woo! Keep it rolling that. How's what everybody now? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Keep it roll.

Don't let it go to where he becomes white. Yeah, yeah, I've been ready to laugh. Jay, yo, Jay, what you think about, man? Yo, man. Yo, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. That's going to be bad. Yo, Jay, what do you think about, man? It's six minutes.

Yo, man, it's six minutes. Duggy fresh your own. Yeah, it's going to take us longer to get through this. It's going to take longer to get through this than to get through fucking Christine's comedy Oh yeah That was just

She only had five people in the crowd How many did you bring? No, I only brought a couple people at this time I would bring people because I had to Not because I wanted to Right, why? No, there wasn't bring her shows Well, the first time I brought I brought nobody

The time I brought people that went on stage Because they paid their five bucks or whatever Now when you when you got when you walked up like that with that swagger and then you grabbed that mic and you had your arms kind of one going one way and I don't even know what I'm about to talk about y'all and when you grabbed that mic and you swung that hand

and grabbed that mic and then you put your head down and you did it you timed it perfect your head was up and then when you did cut it your head went down almost like the switch on the record just shut off you know what's up you know what's up because you understood what was up nah let's keep it rolling jay slap that shit let's slap that shit son

oh you slapped them You slap the microphone stand, too. Look at your little slap on the... Boom and boom. Cut it. Cut it. Oh, man. Whatever's clever.

I'm up here now. Can we hear it? Yeah, I played some... I played some rooms before. How's my right now? This is primarily an all-black club. I play usually all black clubs. I'm used to it.

I don't try to win you guys over, no special ways. I don't try to pull no special moves, talk about rap or rappers. are rapping, trying to get you guys to be on my side shit. If I'm funny, I'm funny. Laugh, please. If I suck, boo-mey off the stage, you know what I mean? Just give my fair chance.

I don't try to... Oh, you're making. You're fucking begging. What is happening? You're Martin Luther King's preaching it. Guys, just give him a fair shit. Can I tell you something? I know myself.

Hey, guys, let me ask you a question. I feel like something's coming. Don't ask what the crowd can do for you. Ask what I can do for the motherfuckers in the crowd. I have a dream that all y'all going to be laughing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I was on the mountaintop eating a filly cheese steak. Motherfucker. And I saw my reality. With your bullshit. Yo, yo, yo, yo. With your bullshit.

No, Bobby. Yo. I feel like I know myself. I might be wrong about this. Yeah. To know that I'm setting up something. That fake like, so just give, I'm just never being that. A piece of chance.

I definitely wasn't being that earnest, but I'm about to do something, I bet. Fucking foolish or shit. Something real, like, come on, black people like me. I don't want to hear it. I don't know either. I just want to hear up until this point one more time, though. Okay.

Is there a possibility that this set ends with you taking your clothes off? I don't. Oh, please. Hang on, let's all stop. Before you answer it, let's all pray together. Hold hands. Everybody hold hands. Everybody hold my hand.

Hold my hand. Lou, just pretend to hold my hand. Hold the camera up. You can do the camera. I'll pray right now. Christine, lead us here. Lou, lean over a little bit. Give him a little help.

He's not even helping at all. It's all right. We'll just touch fingers. Okay. Lord Jesus Christ, baby Jesus, please, if there's anybody up there, I want to manifest into reality right now. The walls of lack and delay now crumble away. Please let Jay, sorry, Jay get fully naked at the end and do his closing bit. If there's anything I can do for you, I pray for you, Lord Jesus, in your name right now.

Let, at the end of this set tomorrow, Jay, get it. down to his underwear our Father who are in heaven, hell will be the name that kingdom come that will be done on earth is in heaven. Give us this day out daily, your job, give us a trespass. It will be for those trespass to be for those trespass. Let us not an invitation, but deliver us from evil, amen. Thy will, not mind be done.

Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom. Christine, you know what? I'm going to turn away real quick. Why don't you put the mouse over on the end of the video. I'll see what a little thumbnail shows you. Did you do it? White people? It would be the very end. I ain't pandering to you, mother. Motherfuckers, motherfuckers.

Yo, man. White people and black people be laughing together. I make all hands and shit. I make him all laugh. He is not naked. Right, but there's something. Oh, God, turn away.

Let me see just a little. Turn away, Jay. I feel like you should see. You don't want to see it now? I just want my response. Okay. Just my response. Just get it there.

Jay, look away. I'm not looking. Look away. Oh, God. Just let me see. Just to see if it's worth tuning in on Thursday. Oh. And how many people we need in here.

I'll know maybe it's good with just me and Fanoia. Maybe it's just us three in here tomorrow. Maybe it's just us. Oh, my God. Get everyone! Everyone! Is it gone? Oh, my God.

You are a fucking hunk of hack. Wow. You didn't show that, did you? Oh, my God. Something good's coming? Oh, you stink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Wow.

Oh, man. I saw a peek. It looks like some sort of gimmick. Oh, man, what? Oh, my God, you are a... Oh, my God. Oh, God, I can't wait. First of all, I don't know what it is, but it's something.

It's something. It's something. He did something. Oh, he did something. Oh, he did something. He did something. He did something. He did something.

He did something. He did something. He did something. He did something. For sure. And let me tell you something. You needed to go to Hobby Lobby to get this something going on. I know what it is.

I know what it is. I have questions. I've told the story before. I know what it is. Shut up. Shut up. What is it? What's your question, Christine?

I'm just, because it seems like it ties into the beginning of the set. So I'm like, did you take the whole set? Oh, God. Was there a, I just really want to know how this flows. We will know Thursday. Let me see how I'm standing. again? No. When I come out?

Would that be indicative of something? No. I don't think so. Just bring up Biggie Smalls. He's standing the same way Biggie Smalls walking the mic. Oh, shit. How many, can we find a bunch of other black comics that do the same thing Jay does when he enters on stage? Look at that. What is that? What is that arm?

Cut that shit, DJ. I got stuff I got's to say. Let's keep it rolling. Now, yeah, what's up? That's my girl, Jamie back there, y'all. I mean, let me hear you again. Try not to attack her and not all up in that shit. My voice is also. I probably didn't smoke cigarettes yet. You look pretty jacked in the arms.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's definitely not your step-pop. Definitely not your fattest. No. Your arms are pretty jacked up. Let me hear the beginning again. Just a little bit, please. Play it loud.

Short-haired. Ugh, cut it. What's up? How's everybody don't? All right. You on good? Everybody ready to laugh now? Woo!

Keep it rolling that. As long as I'm right now. This is primarily an all black club. I play usually all black clubs. Hang on, listen. I want to get inspired again. Let me get inspired today. Let's keep it rolling.

Let's keep it rolling. We have to announce. Let's go back to this in the second, but we have to announce people we need to either jump on, like, socials or whatever, or call in. we need me and bobby sat this weekend we sat this weekend with those joke premises were given to us they were all terrible they were all too convoluted and that was our fault we didn't give good directions here simple right now have people one word one word one word snakes

there you go one word call in 866 96691969 we need one word premises they were too much yeah too much so we're going to take three apiece call in one more premise we have new joke nights tonight it's tonight we're going down off the cuff and it's usually packed sold out and everybody's going up with really good mostly good ideas and premises we need good ones well written new jokes is what they will have yeah you like you can't give uh can't give jay like wiggers you could yeah you could it just goes up the way he used to go up yo yo yo yo yo yeah cut that shit there's no music playing

Jay what up with it Jacob did you see what was going to happen at the end of that video no oh god Jacob it will heal you Jacob you'll feel better immediately you watch it nothing can stop me from coming in tomorrow I mean last week it was so jarring for me to see Bobby

because you know even before I started working with him you he was always Robert Kelly to me. You know, he's always like, I always looked at him like this professional veteran. And then I saw that. And it just, and now I can't wait to see this. And now I'm not Robert Kelly. I'm. You are. But I'm hotcham monopolist, marshmallows.

You have funnies that I call Gabriel Anglicius, Ralfi Gonzalez. And then this weekend, they broke the world record of fucking comedy show attendance at SoFi Stadium. Him and Joe Coy. Wow. You see Joe Coy's house? No. Jesus. It looks like Tony Stark's house.

I saw like when he had a while ago. No, he's got a brand new one. When he had his mom with him. Just finished. Yeah? Yeah. It's like Tony Stark's house. Yeah?

It's nuts. It's fucking crazy. Where'd you see it? It was on the internet, dude. He had one of those things. Yeah. There it is right there. In Vegas?

Dude, it's crazy. Ten million. I saw it as 11 million. Hmm. But it's fucking inside is like nuts. It's got to be crazy. all this like you know new technology and crazy custom stair kit look at this very nice but it is looking out at the fucking desert yeah it's a little weird yeah i wonder if the sunset's great

oh it's got to be great on the red rocks at night and the inside is just spectacular i mean good for him that house is nuts but 11 million in the desert of vegas is 38 million oh yeah yeah you know on the east coast look at his Los Angeles house go up there right there the second one yeah that's nice that's crazy that's way better yeah that's crazy way better no it's not better it is probably smaller it's probably smaller um I don't know but that is way better that looks like a that looks like a company building yeah that's not the problem with buying an a lemely dollar house at all you have to have 45 friends to make that couch make sense It's not that.

You need to have, what you actually need for this, though, is six kids. Yeah, you've got to have a lot of people to make that house. Just a guy, an adult living there, is terrifying. I love when they get these tubs that nobody ever uses. I ate that kind of a tub. Nobody, what was that? It took a bath. Oh, I mean, in a hotel.

The worst, taking a bath is the worst thing, because you never judge the water right for your fatness. That outside is nuts. Outside is nuts. I don't even know what's a pool and what's a pond. Well, yeah, I mean, he does, like, he's been doing arenas for a long time. It's just no one, you don't hear about it because it's like he has a Asian fan base. Oh, fucking, dude, I had to take the fucking little things off of my faucets yesterday that I have to put on to the winter so the pipes don't freeze. What is?

Huh? A little heater? They're little insulators that I have to put on so the, all over the faucets on the outside. Yeah. And this guy's got that. I think he has a faucet guy? Yeah. He does.

Look it, there it is right there. This is a new house. You might have a faucet guy that lives at the house. Look at that staircase is just nuts. Nah, I don't like spiral staircase. I'm out. I love, I love it. I love a floating staircase and a spiral staircase.

Somebody who's been at your weight so many times, it's crazy for you to say that. But remember my spiral staircase in New York? Yeah. Loved it. Horrible. I loved it. It was terrible. I'll tell you what, my front steps outside of my house.

I'm sick now, not only almost all of them are loose, but also, even when they're not I have to walk down them sideways because they don't fit my feet like all the way out so it's like I know you practice going on stage yo yo yeah yeah yeah I got to walk I have to walk diagonal and they're all loose but my feet don't fit on the steps like my feet are too long we have to see if Keith can come we need a black comic to come in and see how see if you're actually authentic well while we're waiting for people to call up with their one word topics for us to break up tonight we need to definitely you should start doing some reachouts right now I think yeah um we should There's some recess here.

Let's see. Let's look up. The Louisiana Purchase. Oh, shit. Okay. What else we got? Nicknames, gay brother. Okay, there's three.

There's three. Is that my brother? Yeah, make up a gay brother, guys. Is that my brother? Is that Andrew? Is that Andrew Kelly? Andy Kelly? Andy Kelly.

All right. Someone write those down, so we have them. All right. What is it so far? We only got two. Three. What's the other one? You said two.

Louisiana purchase. Yeah, gay brother. Gay brother. And what's the other one? You didn't say it. I did. It went away. Oh.

What was it, Lou? Nicknames. Oh, nicknames. Yeah. Yeah. There's still more coming through. Louisiana Purchase. Yeah.

You know, the old Louisiana Purchase. That's going to be a hard one for me. Well, I don't know what it is either. I've heard of it. The Louisiana Purchase. Yeah. That's when they... Don't work it out now on me.

I'm not going to work it out. I'm just telling you what it is. What is it, Jacob? Thomas Jefferson, The Louisiana territory basically doubled the size of the United States and connected us to the Pacific. Yeah. It's that whole shit. It's a sweet deal.

Yeah, it was a pretty pretty. Yeah, he did 15 mil. We had to kill a bunch of Indians for that. And we still let the Louisiana people talk like this. I'll say, I'll say, I want, wah, wah, wow, wow. It's better than the Philly people talking like this. Yo, what's up? Yeah, kill my mouth.

Yeah, blow a load my fucking stupid mouth. Keep it rolling, yo. You, I'm going to gargle your balls And my fucking stupid bitch mouth You promise not to tell I turn out of English accent What the fuck happened back? What the fuck happened back then?

Do you know the Philly accent is from England? Nope I'm fucking with science There are watching that task show again Though there is so funny like the words That you're forced to say In like that area Like there's so many Indian words

There's like Gloucester Skuckel The Skuckel River Scuyl is like the stu It's such a dumb word S-C-H-U It's like shul-kill Is it an Indian

Is it from an Indian tribe or something? I think so I think it's all Indian words Skucle That's what all we gave him We just name shit after him It told them beat it Yeah Wissahicken Those are all places out there

That sound fucking hilarious And like you know that wasn't the first way It was ever said Yeah The main actor is Tom Pelfrey He's from New York Ohzark Yeah he's from New York

Yeah he's not from Philly But his accent Jackson is pretty damn good. Oh, the whole show. Everyone's doing a good job. I want to know, what episode you on? Four. Okay.

Let's talk about it when you see more. Yeah, and they fucking, there's only three more episodes. They fucking, uh... What's it called again? Fucking task. Task. Task. Task.

And I have to say, I watched the trailer, and it didn't really make me want to watch the show. Yeah, the trailer was not indicative of the show. The show's so good. It's one of those acting shows. I'll tell you what. That's why Madison is awesome because the acting is the best. Right.

The show Marshalls, which is another Taylor Sheridan spin-off, fucking blows. Oh, I heard. Well, you said, what's that called? You called it something. Come on, you got it. Such a P. Procedural? Jacob.

How's he going to learn? I don't. Oh, sorry. I refuse to learn. You see the way I grabbed the microphone stand still? I've learned nothing. I thought you wanted to call out. Jacob wanted to say that because he's the one who told me what it was called.

That's why he wanted to let you know that it's him. Yeah, when we come back from break, can I cut the music? Yeah, fuck you. I want you to do that. Even tonight when you go on stage, I'm going to have Liz play a song. Okay. And you have to go, yo, cut that shit. Yeah, what up, y'all?

Please bring it back forever. I'll do my set in full wigger if you want. Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. And I'll go back to, I'll do marshmallows and hot choppelopolis tonight. I mean, somebody still cute. Oh, what an easy way for you get out by just doing a joke you already know, It's gonna work. You get to go back to full work, girl.

That's easy for you. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna say. But you know you're gonna say it like this. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, the Louisiana purchasing shit. You don't know shit about that, white people. I'll tell you the only thing I'm bummed about not watching more of this video now. I agree.

We should watch it with people and I should get my trashing. Yes, you should. But if we were able to get a couple of bits from this, have you do marshmallows and have me two jokes from this set would be so, how could I fucking revive these jokes? Marshmellios would be so simple to revive Oh my god Hot Chocolopalips

Had new jokes night in New York City Dude you will murder I wanted to do it I was gonna do it at the Verve Because Christine was there I had a plan I was gonna close with marshmallows And hopchopalopolis

I was gonna do it at the end But some shit happened We'll get into it after the break Oh yeah Some shit happened Yeah we have to break I gotta hear the story Because I heard that yeah

Fucking crazy But I had full intentions To lay down the hot Chalka, the marshmallowos and the hotchapalopolis. Chappalalapalopalus. On the bed with my hopperchopalolos. I'm going to be with my hotchopalopalus. I on the bed till you come in with my hop choplopolis.

I can still do the voice. I know. I got it. I can't do the voice from that video anymore because it's been affected by... Because you'd be canceled. 25. That's why. Times have changed, you're wicker.

I'm saying, the actual tone of my voice has been hit by about, I don't know, it's called 3,000 packs of cigarettes since then. And weed Yeah You gotta go up one night And just be old J Yo, yeah, yeah Yo, yeah

What's up? Oh, you'll walk up One arm goes this way And the other arm goes that way And that I'm swoop it That arm swoops back It lands on the mic And then a cut

I just gave a dope-ass fucking Handshake with Ture Who was bringing me on stage One brother to another Passing the mic Yeah, that's what you do Man, you gotta do it Back at Philly

Yeah, back in Philly Got to get nice with it Now did Turey have any thoughts on this when you did it? I think he always told me I was doing phenomenally. I'm talking thoughts to other black comics while you were on. Oh, maybe. It's very, very possible.

This motherfucker. Oh, look at this dude here. Look at this motherfucker. He just said, keep it rolling. This should inspire people. To be themselves? No. No, no, not at all. To pander if you must.

You should inspire people. You could just get a chain from the mall. You don't have to get an expensive-ass chain. Jay, I think we all pantered. We all did for sure No, I'm saying, but it really is such a good, like, seeing the set this young and how, like, different it is

might be great for people to see that it's, you know, because I said, like, no one knows your name until you're doing it already. You know what I mean? At least back in the day. People knew my name during marshmallows and Hotchapalopalopalus. Well, no, but I'm saying this is my, one of my earliest sets here, clearly, so, like, whatever it is.

When did you, you, but you were kind of wiggery for a while, right? in comedy yeah and then you just then you just dressed it no did you switch it up like if you were in the city and then you went to a black club when i knew you did you switch it up a little bit maybe did you what do they call that code switch you code switched no i don't think i don't think i did because i really didn't ever and i said this is why i might be biting myself in the ass by saying this but it's the best of my knowledge it looks like i put more of the of the tone into it than i thought i did but I don't think I ever picked up the words.

I was talking to Joe Russell yesterday, and he said to me, I was telling him about this, and he said to me, do you know Nome paid me to go to his house? He has every set of every comic ever performed at the seller on VHS tape, and he paid me to transfer it to digital. And I've seen all of Big J's comedy from back in the day. He did say it was different.

But he didn't tell me how it was different. But he did say, so I could get, if I wanted to, I could talk to Nome. Some early seller. And get your first or second ever set at the cellar. Oh, yeah, see if you can get my audition. And you got naked. Did you ever get naked at the cellar? No.

But I did sing and dance at the end. Of course. Why would you not? That's the joke I do. It's a joke I did on TV. You know your jazz hands. We should put a compilation of all the different versions of Jay Jazz Hands J, down to my undies J, black J.

Oh man, how great would it if I got down to my undies on this set That sucks, I don't. Oh, it sucks. It's got to see what I do. It's got to be somewhere. Yeah, it has to exist. But this is going to be bad. This is going to be bad.

It's already terribly good bad. Oh, it's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's going to be wonderful, but it's going to be bad. But also it's going to be inspiring, as we heard. heard, you will be inspired from whatever speech that you're giving right now. No, no, not inspired by what I'm saying in the set. Well, it inspired

me. It inspired me, Jay. Yeah. What you were saying about black people and white people and that you weren't going to go up there and pander to them, that inspired me. Out of the gate, I was like, this guy's got something. I think I'm going to have a stroke. Why? I don't know. If this gives you a stroke. Jock straps.

Jock straps. Okay. That's a good one. Write that down. Jock straps. Call in. We need one word. Thank you, Brian. We need a couple more. A couple more. Or two word. 866.669. Got some good ones.

Brian Callie gave us that jockstraps. Thank you. That's a good one. You want that one, don't you? You can have it. Okay. Oh, shit. I didn't like how you took it so quick.

You probably have a nice hot jockstrap joke. Back from there. Yo, you guys know, man. You have that you dick. Yo, yo, yo. It's like, you know, I need a jockstrap. My shit's so small. I said, damn.

Most people come up here and say your big dick is big. My shit's small. Yo, I can cover my shit with the back of the jockstrap. I had it on shit on backwards. It still worked. Damn, I says I say I say. I wish you would. I said that motherfucker.

I think you should go on. You're fucking with the wrong one now. You could do anything, man. You could do anything with that accent. All these titles are no problem with that. Absolutely. I'm just go, DJ, put that on one more again. And then Liz has turned the song back on.

Huh. Yo, DJ, cut that shit. Now, y'all ever knows when people wearing jock straps? Them shit, I don't know. How to fuck the damn things work, man? It's all flat and shit. Push your dick. Just mush your dick into your body.

That ain't protecting my dick. Shit, the jockstrap hurting the dick itself. Put that shit back on one more again. DJ. Keep it rolling. DJ cut that shit. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Louisiana Purches.

Now, I'm going to tell you this. I take care of my kids. Ain't nirbin in jail. Lou's another topic coming in on the topic wire. The topics. Lou of the topic phone. But if all these topics we actually make into killer jokes? Tonight on the fly.

We do a special just me and you. It's called Topics. Just give a topics. Look at all the topics that just came in. How many topics. Oh, topics upon topics. You just say that number and they call in 8666 and 969, 1969. Topics, topics, topics.

Or just tap that up, but you know that. Tap that app. Tap that app. Tap that app. Thank you, Magic. That's why you're math. You know, we didn't fucking, we didn't fill in the gaps. I should have known that being an influencer.

You tapped that app. The influence. Yo, you tapped that app. I did like Bobby's... Who's that? To the family? That's the family. Hi, family.

Did you watch Madison? As sick as I was, as sick as I was yesterday, I woke up Sunday morning and got to have breakfast with the Kelly's. Oh, yeah. On Instagram. I do. We have Sunday. their kitchen. Every Sunday we have breakfast. And he invited everyone. I invited it all. Why you just enjoy some time with your family? I do. But I want people out there who have families

to know. Why do you make your family do a one-act play for breakfast instead of just being able to enjoy themselves? First of all, I casted them and I'm the director of the house and I make the money. So get on that. Actually took me three takes to get that, Jacob. Ken in Wisconsin just says porn. It's too easy. Let's write it down. Just in Sure. Let's write it down. You never know. Porn.

It was like you're saying something you didn't say before, I guess. I guess, yeah. Porn. Yeah. Yeah. I got one. No.

You have a current joke about porn? No, I don't. Remember you just told me about jerking off to that lady from Philly? I did like that. Yeah. Stop sticking your tongue in my butt. I took a dump earlier at work today.

Where do I want me to come? Oh, right, my stupid whoreback mouth. Oh, my God. I laughed and seen it the same time. died come all over my stupid whore face put in my mouth blast it what happened to the screen why did it go all you upsettingly gray

because Jacob was talking did they all go away no no everything's fine everything's fine like 16,000 callers up there now there's just one yeah they all gave up what happened okay hot barbecue that's for you

that's for old you yo yo yo yo yo calling it from Dallas it's Chris from Dallas it's hot barbecue Hot barbecues are. Write it down. Right it down, right it down. We'll gather these all up, and before the end of the show, we'll divvy up three apiece.

Right. Boom, boom, boom, ba-dun, ba-dun, ba-dun. You're going to spend the whole ride down trying to think of something in your head. I don't know, dude. Go up. Just go up. Just go up. Believe in it.

Believe in hot barbecue. Hot barbecue. Which one did you take already? Nothing. You took jock strap. I didn't take anything yet. No, I said you could have it, and you were like, I'll take it. I said, okay.

But we can still talk it out. Look, I don't like, you know what? I want you to pick first. Okay. I don't like your, I don't like when you like this. I'll pick first. Then you pick second. I don't like when you're so agreeable.

Oh, I just got hot. Thank you, Lou. I just want you happy. I want you happy. You know why? Because you're so close to being the real you right now. You're so close. Yo.

Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up, Jay? Oh, Jay, just came back. That's going to be. Yo, man. Who are we got, you got to make some phone. You got to reach out right now. I will, yo, man, chill.

Chill. Sorry. Chill. White Jay gets nervous. Yeah, white Jay gets nervous, man. Be black Jay. Yo, chill, Jay. Bobby Kelly's going to be at Comics Roadhouse in Connecticut.

Is that this weekend? This weekend. No. No, it's April. No, it's April 17th and 18. I'm not the seller this weekend. Friday and Saturday and Saturday. Ooh.

After that, Bobby's going to beat Uncle Vinnie's in New Jersey, Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans. For tickets and all of his tour dates, visit punchup. com.com. Visit punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly. Of course, go to his YouTube channel, Robert Kelly, Comedy. and like clockwork 7 p.m. every Tuesday the fat like pussycat lounge at the comedy sewer get yo tickets now you know big jay yo big jays gonna be at desert ridge improv yo and pho and phoenix

this thursday march 26 why don't i don't know what the fuck's happened there that was i've been watching too many peekie blinders you were on the fritz told me you were on the fritz i can't i can't i keep the philly accent goes right i thought you were just doing the wigger thing then it went philly and then it went To full-blown British. Almost like you. Yeah. Code switch. Code switch.

Yeah, Cade switching. The 26th. And then he's going to be at the Tempey Improv Friday, March 27th, and Saturday the 28th. After that, this motherfucker is going to be in St. Louis, Orlando, Kansas City,

and Las Vegas motherfucker. For tickets and all other tour days, go to BigJ Comedy.com. YouTube.com slash at BigJ. Ocerson. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Thank you.