The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Lies Dads Tell

Episode Date: November 23, 2022

Has your dad ever told an obvious lie just to seem cool?

I'm Big J. Okerson. And I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to a full two hour long episode of the Bond Fire on Series XM, or with the SXM app. It's easy. Go to seriousexam.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Damn, I hate these lights so much.

It's so bright in here. I hate it. This is why I shake up. You're watching us. This is so bright in here. I hate it. This is why I shake this. This is why it shades up. Should I shade up? You hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate when you shade up.

You can't see my eye signals. When Jacob Flubs knocks over a entire canteen water and I do this. Why does he? That's where I give mine away, because I do a teeth suck. I go, do it. Why do I? away because I do a teeth suck. I go

I'm more of a whoo. I felt that as I feel my guts Welcome to the bonfire Series XM Faction talk on the screen That's wild Thornberry is big joker's in I'm Dan Soder Full crew in we got two guests. We got a packed fucking show today. This shows packed in a motherfucker dance odor. Hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccupunka, hiccup A lot of fun. A lot of fun. Very uh, should I make it sad? My sister loved Paulie Shore when she was like, when I was a little, yeah, that makes sense. And then she died. And then she died because of it. So do I make it? Yeah. She was like, sun and lava. She was holding up a flip, she was driving while looking at a flip out picture of him and time to be. You remember those, those fold out things that stopped the sun from getting in your car? She just had one of those up and I was like, Paulie Shore, she was, I don't want to stop looking at it.

Even if I had to drive blind. Biotome. Um, you know, Paulie Shore is one of those guys though, even when I saw him at a skank fest and last night at Legion of Skanks, there is a surreal, and I would, I'd be a probably embarrassed to be telling this, but there's a surreal thing to it that you're like, oh wow. Like at the age that I watched Paulie Shore and saw things Paulie Shore was in,

if you asked me in my, hey, Jay, what are the odds that you one day cross paths and are somehow involved? And there's a lot of people I've had this with. Do you know what I mean? You're like, John Popper, such a great example of that. that. We talk on Tuesday about all the celebrities that I know. Very few handful that I know that I have to ask to help promote me. A preview of Thursday's Lost Hades. We go through Jay's ideal promotion list for his special coming out. But John Popper is that thing, even though I wasn't like a die, you know, I didn't follow a blues traveler. I mean, I lived and died by four, but that's just me. No, no Jacob just rolled his eyes. You are in quite a gene shallot mood this evening, sir You are being very critical of everything

You don't distract it. Do you not like blues traveler? No, I do like blues traveler. Okay. Well, you just look at Texas Um, I fucking don't like it. It's okay But I'm saying like pop, but like, and I like Blues Traveler, you know what I mean? And now I know their music, like I know the catalog because I'm, came friends with a guy, but. The hook. The hook.

Bring it back. But my point being that there's still that moment every time I see him or we bullshit, or he just texts, I still have that boyish like a, so weird yeah that you know or Zach Wilde recognizes me at this point now and you're like that's nuts kiss me Zach Wilde can not kiss me you fool I'm like I remember no more tears video and why you like why would mean Zach Wilde ever

sit in the same room together in bullshit yeah especially from when you're little so I didn't met him I didn't meet him at Skankfest So this will be the first time I'm meeting him So when I hear him do his little like the polysure like giggle. Yeah, and you just know it from like the it's great Yeah, yeah, I rented cassettes Yeah Jacob up he dies in a house fire. I mean for real. There's really there's heat more heat with Jacob than James in band-tex what's on? You are bundled up, dude.

I mean, I always do. You don't even show your Joey Logano shirt to people. Well, little little teaser. Joey Logano will be on the show Thursday. And we're in love. Joey Logano and I are officially in love. He's my guy. It is crazy that you've now twice got to like mix it up with your favorite. I've still. It's very cool. Never spoken a word to Alan Iverson. Nick Folls was a big deal, but he did.

I never felt like he really quite dug me. Yeah. But he was fine. You know, I mean, it was neat, really cool to meet him. And you know, the fucking Lou got to meet that press got yeah uh... he came in here and sat with us in bullshit and man i don't know about you have and you've met

because of mcdaniel so many of your favorite like players and shit i got to meet the keyboardist uh... steps on for progen yeah that was huge that is pretty huge you and you verified it by which island and Hawaii they live in on. He found me at Skankfest. Shout out Carlos. Yeah Carlos, please tell me you're alive. Carlos?

What's his name? Oh, it's the step son. Former step son. He's not his life anymore. But he knew some personal details that only I know, but I can't repeat. How do you know? Why do you know it? I don't it. I don't want to disparage Pearl Jim's keyboardist. What do you do? Me too. Me too does mom. Did he have an art Mexican mom? Did you have an arch heli situation in his basement? What was going on? Did this guy have secret shit going on? Yeah, I've ducted him playing site type shit. Oh, is he like B?

Personal I can't get into it, but it. But how did you verify these personal information with this? Only I would know that. And the guitar player. That's crazy to me. Yeah, it checks out. Yeah, your parents did get married. He's got a tree branch about yay, high outside his bedroom

window. Yeah, Christmas was fun that year. Yeah, good job, dude. That's like I'm trying to follow it. But he verified it was information about Edward, Edward Vetter? No, no, no. Edward Bartholomew Vetter? No, it was, no, it wasn't this... He was Jared from Subway's Wingman? It was about his step-dad. I don't know. Personal, it's something not great about his character. You know it, not great about his character.

So, you're not an asshole? Only I know he's an asshole. I was saying that. I just thought, no, you were the person that verified it. Yeah, it's between me and Carlos, all right? It's not though. You already knew it. So, it's public information.

Unless you are in Carlos' story. You don't know a thing about a person in Pearl Jam that someone else doesn't know besides them this guy this guy had information that I didn't know oh that's what you just now absolutely changed how would I know about the personal life of Pearl Jam we were saying you said only I would know this is true? Can I say that? Yeah. Yes. On the tape back, you said, I only I know if that's true. You won't be output or you zero input or stuff.

I hate some shit out with you. What's it to you? This, by the way, this show will be edited. He will take that out and make us look like fools. So it's something you just, so you're choosing to believe the Carlos is the keyboard player's former stepson. Who would lie about that. Oh, a hilarious dude. A person in Miami this weekend said he was a swear to you, the bass player for Nickelback,

and nobody could confirm for sure that if it was or wasn't until the show was over, and then we did find out that it turns out a Chad Kroger's brother has been the base player forever of the thing. There's never been another base player and it was not this guy. I do love it at one point because I said has anyone looked this up to even confirm if this is possibly true. And then a girl goes it's not it's not true in the guy and then the guy seemed playful about it at first, but then he very earnestly for the first time, which he goes, he's not, he goes, yeah, I am. Like very seriously.

And then I was like, maybe it is. And I just kind of like moved on, called back to the church at times. I respect the hell out of an adult that's still doing fifth grade lies. Yeah, he did a fifth grade lie. My dad could be up here dead. Well, didn't you all say that your deads said they they knew famous

people are we're in. Oh, that's it. That's it. That's a old alcoholic thing. Old alcohol. That's not an alcohol or a dead or maybe it's just dead be dead. My dad told me that you saw the wall by Pink Floyd performed in Rome. I just

remember to one at the Colosseum. And that he was kicked out of the Navy. He got this charge from the Navy for getting caught smoking because he was smoking weed on a stairwell in Italy with David Bowie. What? David Bowie was walked by and they spent a joint together.

Did you not smoke a joint with me? Random guy named Gary. That's why he was kicked out of the Navy. Yeah, it turns out it was for weed, but it was just having weed. And they put him in that boat jail for a couple days And then when he got back the thing they were like you're out of the Navy my dad told me that Willie Willie Nelson came to his bowling alley bar zero chance

Zero chance that lay county a the red headed stranger was on california twenty nine going through lake port well then i thought that about who tankland uh... that i uh... that i think that in case you know that would be fun that crazy it would be fun though to find out like i was wrong in my dad was just telling the truth i don't think i don't think you saw the wall performed in Rome at the Coliseum either whatever the story told

What if though? That one is much more believable than the time he just fucking kicked it with David Bowie randomly and And there will ever like on an outside steps, like a stoop, almost he described it as me and David Bowie. You're like, are you telling me about a nap dream? I think it was like a guy walked up and was like, can I hit that or whatever it was? And it was like, I'm David Bowie.

I was like, I was so young when he told me. And you know, that was probably thought I would just forget that. And Lord, because I probably didn't seem that crazy to me then, because I was young enough that I was like, David Bowie, I'm like learning about my dad's music. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know, my guess. Sure.

Able security spotted him and confronted him while he was smoking weed. The MP's got involved. Damn. And he was brought down. Yeah, I never have found that, but he was kicked out of the military for weed, for sure. Dish honorable discharge. What is it called?

Dish honorable discharge. Yeah, and then what you'm calling, and then you, he on that boat, he also says that he's got a stick in whatever, what is it called, stick and poke tattoo, that his snake going around the dagger on his arm. Yeah. Was a stick and poke that he did himself. And maybe it's not good work. But again, the he said he tattooed himself. He said he didn't himself.

Man dude, old dad lives. Which is like that might be the, it may be a stick and poke one that he had done. And my dad, I'll give my dad the things he has. I've watched this guy get physical in a situation for my dad was aggressive and pretty tough guy for what he was. I mean, he didn't know how to fight,

like, do you know how to train fighting, but he was just like a rough, silly kid, big guy. So he had that, but he definitely was full of shit. I'm plenty. Lose dad's and he was a Westie. He said he was involved with the Westies. I'm not sure involved is it the greatest way to put it? It's very vague I had a I had a business relationship with the West

It was purely sexual the main guy. It's always the main guy That's what I said with the hell's angels Sunny barger. You're like you didn't know Sunny barger. Did I'm pursuing you the Like that said with the Hells Angels, Sunny Barger. You're like, you didn't know Sunny Barger. Did I'm showing you the, we're telling you that story that was the best, my buddy Ed, the one who over-acted Italian, Ed Gentili. Yeah.

And I tell you when he would say, when he would leave us always, he would say that he was going to see Joey Merlino, the big, the head of them, filled off your mob at that point. It was like a young mob at that point. Yeah. And he was just like a problem,

Joy Marlino, and he just would be like, hey, I gotta go Marlino says he needs me, and we would never believe them, so we would just kinda laugh, and he would leave pissed. And then the next day, like we see his brother, and he's like, yeah, when Ed came to come get me last night after work, I asked if we were gonna hang out with you guys, and he was like, no, we Ed came to come get me last night after work,

I asked if we were gonna hang out with you guys and he was like, no, we're not hanging out. And I was like, yeah, he went to go pick his brother up from work. That's great. But he was like, you just get caught like doing that thing and it's like, that's such a pre-smart phone internet lie. I gotta go do mob stuff and really just go to target.

Oh yeah, I mean, this is internet, like you were still on your 100 free hours or 20 free hours of AOL. Yeah. It was that internet. It's just off to Target. Oh yeah, I mean, this is internet, like you were still on your 100 free hours or 20 free hours of AOL. Yeah. It was that internet. So, you never thought about looking, you know, there's no way to find out what it was actually doing.

Yeah. But always Merlino is the best. Yeah, the best. I gotta go see Merlino. The boss needs me. But like, yeah, that's the dad lie though. That's the, that's the, lie though. That's the it's the Something grandiose but like a little out of your give a shit realm You know that a dad lie on us my dad told me he also played pool against Minnesota fats

That's so told me that was I think the only time he lost maybe at one point was yeah, Minnesota fats came in I did lose to him I choose I choose to believe that your dad was just unstoppable and everything except being a father played pool with the Minnesota Fats. He did everything perfect except be in your life. Father. It's a father. He goes that's honestly that was my one week spot. It's my one blind spot. Everything else. Every year I built a track for the special Olympics runners. I really was a good guy all around. You know who had a dad lie on us with Sean Fury

when he goes next time I gotta say about the time I was fought Mike Tyson. He's gone forever. That didn't happen. The time I was fought Mike Tyson. And he really was singing there of like luckily for his people that got him out of there.

There's been people, there's been people that when I tell them I'm friends with McDaniel, they don't believe me. They're like, like it's like it's a dad lie. I'm like, no, I know that guy. That head coach? I know him. Let me tell you why I wish it wasn't Miami where he is coaching because that's a great

thing to tell when I'm in Miami. In Miami? A little fun thing to talk about Miami. Nothing I even know. I don't say it I know him at all. Yeah. Sorry I'm doing the cocaine now because I'm getting ready for Miami. But here's the thing because 8% of the audience was fans that know me at all. The idea of telling people this when I go by the I figured it out

after the first night that it's now I just say my radio partner Dan Soder. Oh. My radio partner Dan Soder's best friend growing up, like the guy I work with every day is best friend growing up and still is Mike McDaniel. And that would like turn their head on Mike McDaniel, but they didn't know you or me. Yeah. Like they just said it on my show and they don't know,

so they don't know anything about me and I'm like, yeah, my radio partner. So it's like, and then I go, and those make it, they go, oh, that's cool. But like this is striking, but it's a thing where I was like it was fans Yeah, and you go how fucking nuts you guys are like, you know dolphins fans here and yeah It's like one degree a separate. They'd be like, I know it's but there's not there was no fans there to do that

So I had to tell the whole thing. That's what I told you they had the guys down there the Something on date. It's like a Instagram thing that has a million followers Yeah, and they were like the I don't know how to call it Cuban Goombas And he kept like he kept karate chopping my belly when he talked a lot of you bananas What was he calling you buddy? What was he calling you? I forget but it was just like a big guy But he always wants to let you know who he knows and he kept showing me his Instagram page that's got all the followers and showing Marcelo who's now on SNL. The time Marcelo worked with them and whatever like. Yeah, man. And then when I actually, so I'm out of things to talk about with this guy.

I say this thing. I go, uh, oh, you're a big dog. He's, I think some of you is wearing with dolphins. No, I just think I said we were Miami. I go, you're big dolphins fan, like do you love the sport that you're in Miami through and through? He's like, love the dolphins. I go, you know, it's crazy. My radio partner, Dan Soda, is a comedian also, his best friend growing up.

Don't know, don't care. No, you didn't even do that. I go, best friend growing up was Mike McDaniel, like the head coach, and he's like, really? That's so cool. I mean, before he was finishing, that's so cool. Yeah, he's already pulling on his phone to go I'm a Tyrico. Uh, he's my home boy. Tyrico's right my boy. You got to see through I'll show you pictures me and Tyrico I go and I actually where I was like no, no, I believe you do it's like no, no, no, you got to see this me into it

It's like I got a picture of us and it's us holding hands. He don't hold hands with nobody But also just to give you an idea of what this guy was also. I never saw a picture of him to re-kill because by the time he pulled his phone out, he's like, oh, that's how you gotta give me like he's letting me down easy. I gotta take this. You know, and he's gotta like walk off and do a phone.

A million dollar deal. I feel like we should just start bullshitting people, dude. We should just start wearing, just going around and fake phone conversations. You wanna give me a good trillion dollars to be a promoter? This guy's face. That kind of energy.

Funny, this guy's face. Hustle energy sucks ass. The sucks ass. This guy's face, like the disbelief that I did not was not interested in going to a club club afterward, a bottle service club. Yeah. It was mind blowing to him.

He's like, you don't know. He's like, I'm offering you the world right now of Miami. Because by the way, we're gonna go somewhere. These guys are the guys, don't order a bottle and like. It's gonna look like a scene from bad boys. They just wanna take pictures of me and their comic client and whatever it was. You give us 30 seconds about Miami.

You say something for them, you get Shanghai and that. The staff of the club was really like they were like I'm so sorry like these guys just like the owners think it's good because of their you know their internet presence so they let them kind of like have run of whatever they want to do and it's just like to give me the 30 seconds about Miami is the perfect encapsulation of that of like give me 30 seconds what do you think about Miami I I mean, it was wild. And yeah, but he was like,

like, he got almost disinterested in me when I was just like, yeah, dude, I'm just gonna like, probably go back on the Sixers game on the night of DBR. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm gonna say. Crypto night for hustle energy. Yeah, they're just like, pure laziness.

There you go. I think what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna give you a way in my hotel room and they're just like pure laziness. I think what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you away in my hotel room and they're like, what? He's like, I was gonna give you everything. Take you in the boats. Yeah, I was gonna have the girl give you a shot and spin your head around, make you crazy. I was like, I'm not interested. Well, dude, you fucked up, bro. You could have had a real night out of the club. You want to take a, you want to take this break so we can... Bro, you could have had a real night out of the club. You want to take a, you want to take this break so we can

20 seconds, Jacob. I have a few minutes. Is anybody here? Oh, it's a 525. He's at 530. Oh, let's see. See here. Is he here?

He's not even here yet. I do have a couple of things to bring up but shoot. Why brought up downstairs? Yeah, go ahead. It is a sad time for you. I know it's why you're a little on edge. I am on that did devastate me and bad news number one

Stargirl is canceled son of a bitch. Rest in peace. How could they do that dude on election day? One more can this world take for me. I don't know you lost another of one of your CW hotties Are they going to You loved it? Yeah I mean I look forward to seeing it every week. I mean I lost better call Saul this year. He's here. Oh okay. Alright maybe we shouldn't get into this because it's gonna take Why? I don't know. He's supposed to show 530 so just do you have to go get him right now? Wait a second, let's just finish this. Sorry, Jacob, back to you. Lost those arc this year.

Lost better call Saul. Tana Tana shows ended this year and now they took this and the Winchester is canceled also. They canceled the supernatural spin off. Yeah, really? Why did you watch J did you watch any of it? Now I was going to let the season finish and watch it all one shot a new Company bought the CW called next star or something like that and they've canceled almost everything on that chair

They're gonna have to do some wild stuff. Yeah We're canceling Stargirl and we're branding all the bitches who work here all of you suck off Keith Everybody suck off key There they already cancel the winch at that's so weird for a show every oh the CW canceled in 20 They so they canceled a lot of shows, huh a ton. Yeah a lot of shows got the X batwoman out of here that shows sucked for 40 here that shows sucked for 40 c-lator 4400 44 thank you charmed the dazzle out of here charmed me and they brought back charmed yeah was a little some lawn at all did she pop up I don't think so I'm telling you are who's the boss remake with her being with Samantha being a very far left liberal and Tony being a far

right Trump or no not angler you mean angler no some answer is uh... is a daughter is a democrat oh he like him and his daughter are proud he is you know knows that that election was stolen by the globalists and Tony's not with angel anymore because he hit her she popped off and he popped off he fucking hit her and that's it now the same she dropped that she dropped that towel in the shower He popped her one for being a slut. You remember how they did it. Remember how they took Remember how they took fresh prince about Larry and made it serious

That's what we should do with who's the boss, but make it this. Oh, yeah Popped her right in the shower dude popped her I don't know what is thing is any open with promise her you would never do it again But Angela was a strong woman and she wasn't gonna just roll over and take that He goes you hit Angela once it's over. Yeah, she goes Tony. I need you to move out of my house. Wait a second Did we never catch the thing That fucking Angela I but if her name's not Angela, which I believe it is mm-hmm from love after lockup and Tony the Tony I believe it is from love after lock up and Tony the Tony Tony is LC in prostitute.

That was Angela and Tony. Did we never possibly see that coming? No, I don't know if we ever made a who's the boss connection. Is her name? I think we did make that connection. Yes. That's what we're in Tony. This is where resin is around our brain and we're like, oh, we did do that.

Your resin in the brain. Your brain's resin, dude. I can't believe a show like the Winchester were supernatural that had they gave 15 seasons to That they're gonna let this one die on the vine like that. I think Winchester I thought they'd give him at least like two three seasons to see if it catches Gone was it good? No, it was bad. I love watching it, but did you the same way of supernatural? But that doesn't mean I didn't watching it. But the same way of supernatural?

But that doesn't mean I didn't. I wanted it on the end. The same way of supernatural though? No, I mean, it's a way more a collective group of heroes. It's the father and mom, the dad and mom of the two supernatural guys. Yeah. And and they're and their group of friends go around. So is it supposed to be a young, there's probably a young Mary Winchester? No, I know that. I know this young Mary John, but they have like the guy who there's the right hand man, like the red headed Bobby singer. No, they all travel around in like the mystery van.

It's a flamboyant. It's like a their gay friend. Oh, geez. And then the crowbar, I like when they do a prequel and it goes back when things were much more liberal. Yeah, that's what funny about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a tweet that was so funny about the new Game of Thrones.

Apparently there's a lot more black people in the Game of Thrones and it's a prequel. And they go, I saw a tweet that was like, so that means that there were black people in West Rose. And then there's just not in Game of Thrones. That means something real bad happened. Yeah, there's a middle story there. It's something dicey when I'm.

Someone tweeted that I was like, that's the fucking funny. Yeah, they go back in time and things were bad. That was the funniest, I fucking fucking. No, yeah, the go back in time and things were bad. That was the funniest uh, what I said that was Christine stopped me from like, uh, probably getting canceled on Twitter when they did the grease live play. Oh, yeah. And the black, uh, the black pink lady came in and started like, mouthing off to the teachers. I'm not like, she would never do that. This is the early 50s. I got one better because they already canceled Walker Independence, which is a spin-off of Walker. But this one is set in 1875. It's like his grandfather.

Yeah. So it's a spin-off of the new Walker. Yeah, but set in the Old West. They didn't cancel Walker. They canceled Walker independent. That said in the old West, you've never seen a more understanding West West in your entire life. I like that. The deputy of the town was basically running play is black. He's beloved gay. No problem. The indie. There's a guy who just American guy

welcome everywhere in the bar, everywhere's walking around. Nobody's from, nobody's racist towards the Chinese guy. No, dude. Uh, female independence in this town. All about it. You know what they love?

They love a strong female. It's what I realized, what they're going for. You know what this, you know what this Western needs? It's more diversity Great abroad no Hey, it's the CW version of deadwood. Oh buddy. It's great. That's that and they cancel that Would you walk into that bar is what the Christ is going on? It's hard dude. I never thought about woke east. I see a China man. Yes, you're riding with an e-grown. You know, I love his representation Woke woke. I think yeah

I go him walking in and seeing the woke Kavil. I'm like, yeah, but that's fuck is this because that's what he would be like It's what I'd be funny if you walked in and he's like, yes, yes queen Yes Yes, yes queen Yes Yes, could I be a grave controller with you? Queen we should yeah zero racism in the in the old old west in 1875 Yeah, it was the 20s to the 50s to talk about this for a half hour, but we have to break We have our guests in the lobby it's the bonfire Yes Bobby, it's the bonfire. Yes, yes, yes, queen. We have Tony Danza tap dancing.

Oh, maybe blind, but the stars were aligned in my favor. What a dumb, confident guinea. Who is? I've just met this guy before, not Tony Danza, but that guy. Hey, I should make my own album because I can crewin' like those other shitty Italian singers of the day. Bulba da doh, at the pizzeria, where my mom works. Go in to get ICs under the moon! I got a temper and you'll find out who's so good! That she taff dancing, it's a hundred percent confidence.

Oh my god, he's just walking around. Shoeballadu, here I go once again. I'm athletic and talent. Every year I get a brand new Ford Escape. Dracar is a timeless smell. Why did it go away? Pictures of Jesus. Why, why check off?

No, it's not a pepper. It's a horn. Never got to really hit high notes. If you start 12 octaves low, shoot a lebo. Do we, why? Why notes? Have you start 12 octaves low? Sure, but LeBouh, do we WAAAAA? I can't step, take, take, take, take, touch, I can't! Why could no-one last? Meal, ass!

Dad, why do you have to keep singing those old songs? What? What? A-O-O-S- And right down my line, she left, she left, she left, she left, she left, she left, she left! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know my life she might she might but oh oh oh Raz and Mattaz

Dinner's not on the table You love them all all the gifts From Ben Jail, because then the smooth sounds of the boys and Philly Draw me a bath before I bust your mouth wide open That one's called Love and My Wife. Because your whole mother's living here for free. And the classic family ties. I should've married your sister instead of just fucking her.

Ah, the old single man's walk. All of Big Jays. Where's the remote you can't? Living room life. They're all there. I'm a double disc. If I could build a time machine, I'd go back in time and kick your father in the nuts so he never had you. This one's going out to you, pops. And live, cuckus.

Like daddy's love. I'm ripping down your daughters' vage every day, shredding it like Piscetti. Even the X-rated hits are on them. Besides. The late night. The ones you can put on with your favorite gal. She'll be weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee What's Peronies? It's when your dog looks like one of those inflatable things outside the car dealership like Barbarra is the best up on the Boulevard Peronies is the easiest score to issue inside the penis that causes curved painful boners If your boner hurts you probably have Peronies, but don't worry Peronies affects tons of dudes

Here are a few testimonials from guys who got mangled dogs. This is Shane from Roxbrow. I mean, the day I got my pronies, I was just driving home regular day of work. I was, you know, stuck in traffic on 76, just daydreaming, think about Keith Primo, scoring on a Pico power play for a case of tasty cakes, not unusual. Listen to Bonfire, I hear them,

they're talking about this dude named Roman Palombo. So I googled him, check him out, and turns out he was pretty hot, and I didn't know I had those types of feelings. So I started getting a biker, and before this I wasn't too religious, but my one uncle Steve told me that if I were turn gay he would come down from heaven and bend my dick. And next thing I know I'm sitting in traffic with the hardest biker I've ever had. Bent on at a pressure of my car hearts right against my dungries. It bent so hard that now I got peronies.

And now I can't even go down to a wall walk because all the guys know about it. They make fun of me. They get every time I order a hoagie, they just give me a bent hoagie. I say, yeah, will you toast my hoagie? They're like, now we'll give you a bent hoagie. You fucking weirdo. Get out of here with your gay peronies. So yeah, peronies isn't fun.

It's not a joke. Beezer from South Philly. Yo, it's me Beezer. So last year, I finally graduate from the Lincoln Tech University School with a degree in cars and shit. To celebrate, it's me and my boy Ed Reynolds. We get out on two streets to have some sweet ass nail gun fight. We get down there and fucking Eddie gets on nutty and shit

Starts firing off like six framing nails right in my dick and balls region And he ain't using no black and dacker pussy pump like those retards in local 138 use. I'm talking brand new The Walt 20 volt right at it So I got out an urgent care and the black chick workings like you know a scale of one to ten how bad your dick bent pain I'm like 69 bitch. What's up? And she's like you got on a scale of one to 10, how bad your dick bent pain. And I'm like 69 bitch, what's up? And she's like, you got Peroni's disease. And I was like, first off, I ain't got no gay homo disease, all right?

I got Irish weekend coming up in two days and I ain't missing it for this made up shit. And she's like, no, it's a real disease. It's called Peroni's. And I was like, do I get percussed for it? And she's like, no, and I'm like, fuck you. Tell men like this go to www.healthwellfinalation.org And together. Together, together. like no and I'm like fuck you. The seriesXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer to hear us on the actual radio as well.