The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Lifestyle Partner (feat. Ryan Long)

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Ryan Long joins the lifestyle and takes calls from swingers!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@RyanLongComedy Ryan Long: White Immigrant- 

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Oh, I did. Do you and your lady party at all? We do. Oh, you can see the pineapple on my shirt.

Would you like some favors? Perhaps? God, what sexy. I said, I have these Swinger Rocks. Yeah, I said this is a mouthful moaning rock. Yeah. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Frank, you're on my goddamn hair. Oh, God damn it to watch your foot We have so many good calls to take here. I know we're not gonna get to all of them I wanted to move on to Jesus's letter to the Corinthians. Yeah, Jay Shared me that we should stay on topic We should off you

I mean, I don't know if Bible speak right now would be. This is something to think we, well, we've got our first woman with him before we ask her or talk to her. I'd like to say that DJ Lou answered that phone call. How do you answer it? Now he goes, hello, bonfire, whatever. And she answered it was a girl. And he goes, it's a girl. We got one. He did the, with Ghostbite, which is hilarious. I'm all for that. And then, but he took the phone away from his ear

and he did the, we got one thing. And they sat back in the chair and earnestly said he goes, so Jesse, you know, lifestyle, the answer the thing. Welcome back to the lifestyle, ladies and gentlemen. It's a lot of fire. I love you. Faction talk, swinginger XM 94. I, oh, one of three, Faction talk, one of three.

What did I say? Swinger XM 95. Yeah, that's a different channel. You're right, they change Comedy Central to the three. This is Faction talk. Do you have so much change? One of three. Comedy Central to each shit,

and that's the change to a swing or station. They each shit, now they're just straight swingers. Hey, welcome back to this, I do a show, swap me. Someone on Twitter was like, is it M. E. E. T. and I or M. E. A. T. M E. T.

Yeah. I'm sorry. T. You're going to do to play on word Jesse. Yes. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys?

You party. I'm going to a swingers party this weekend. Shut up. Where are at? In the Polk knows. Oh my God. How many people and how many teeth? Uh, Polk knows swingers club. Oh man, I bet the hot tubs in there are mostly come.

I bet there more come in water. I, oh my, you don't go in the hot tub. Oh dude, I went to, um, I get a gig with Bobby where we're I it was years ago. Yeah, I took a picture in one of those C'mon fucking pain things. Yeah, I like the tub and oh yeah, I mean I stayed fully close I didn't get naked again. You were doing a fucking I did a joking picture you do a 19 20s Yeah, but I'm martini, but that's where we like wait

We didn't sleep there we like waited there until the show, but it was definitely a swingers club. It absolutely, do you go there a lot? Is that like a place where it happens a lot? Yeah, we just moved out here from Jersey and we found a group back here. There's a club that we go to, they do parties like every couple of weeks.

Do you guys have a mascot? You know, where it's like a dojo or something, where you go from like one senior's club, and you're like, we were elephants and now we're flamingos. Are you married or just, are you just with somebody? No, we've been married for like 13 years. We've started before.

We got married. How old are you, Jesse, if you know what I'm asking? 44. 44. It's a good lifestyle and age. I'm 44 also. I know. You got to be able to do. Do you think that for 13 years you've been doing this you're saying we married 13 years Married 13 years we've been doing it probably about 15 16 years damn you got more time in the lifestyle that you're doing marriage

Yeah, damn she's OG she's not got came from these streets. I bet it rapid fucking and you guys go the whole Shabang Shabongin like yeah, yeah, is that what it's called? Like, he fucks other girls and you fuck other guys. No, that's called full swap. We don't go full swap. We basically do everything but, you know, full penetration. We do everything leading up to that's our fourth play.

And then, you know, we just, it's just us. You guys fuck each other. Nice. Oh, you got limitations on it. I didn't know you could do that. That's pretty cool You can adjust it. Yeah, you kind of have to have your rules what you partner before you start and see you know what you're comfortable Also, the thing that it's never gonna work the thing that really intrigues me about this whole thing is all the jargon is all the terms They have like full swap yeah, like no, we don't go full swap you go F.S

Full mass half swap. That was all good. We do a blow. We do a blow dry combo. We'll do some hand, maybe some feet stuff. So you go to a party and then what, just like blow jobs and push eatin'. Yes, if we find a couple that we want to play with, yeah. Yeah, and then has there ever been a couple that's like, no, we want a full swap.

And you go, we don't do full swap, but here's what we can work out. We can work a half-munch and a half-suck, just a quarter of the price. Yeah, I mean, some people, you know, there's a lot of people in the lifestyle that do full swap and, you know, we're not comfortable with that. So, you know, we tell them up front and most of the time they're like, all right, well, you know, whatever work comfortable with and sometimes they want full that. So when we tell them upfront and most of the time they're like, all right, well, you know, whatever we're comfortable with and sometimes they want full swap. So they'll be like, all right, well, we're going to find somebody else. Damn, we're duck duck goose in you.

President, if you're too bad, that at least you know you're not going to be in a weird situation then. It's funny also to be so it's also funny to be like stubborn about. Like I want to fuck your wife. You got a couple of you. You got a chill out. I'm going to suck your dick. A couple of you got a chill out. I'm gonna suck your dick. Get that guy out of here.

I want a fucker. A couple being angry at the end of the day goes, well, what is this shit? You're supposed to suck my dick and eat my wife's pussy and leave sucker. Not fucker. You fucking weirdo. Oh nice.

I live in the door open. I'm like a haunted house. Speaking of swingers, Christine Ryan Lo just got here. Oh, there's he's missing all this wonderful. We're learning so much vocabulary from a lady. A lady Jesse is coming. Yeah, you missed a lady on the horn. She on the horn. Jesse lives in Pennsylvania. Hi, Christine. They're not in the full swap though. All they do and dig this.

This is going to I don't think you're going to be. Think this is the right way to play this either. They go to swingers parties, but they just do Everything but sex with other people oral and then they just fuck each other but I'm like boring I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna come to justice defense. You don't have to she's wonderful Yeah, but I'm gonna come to her defense and say she's been living in the lifestyle for 16 years So a little respect on her name. I will 16 years no fucking other people that's what's the mind blow though Should introduce our guest we can't we have guests come in now mid show my girlfriends already on the phone Do welcome to the show Ryan long fellas do you Welcome. Oh yeah, right. We're going to do special premier yesterday white immigrant on you to go give it a click

He's hilarious and watching special out now. Thank you fellas. There it is and the thing about you Like yeah, you just go watch it whenever you don't have to be like eight o'clock April 24th You're gonna see it twice. Now this is the spot now. Yeah, how many people put their special somewhere where you might as well put it on a hard drive and buried it in the sand. Both of us with comedy central. Yeah.

For sure, it's somewhere. I think Paramount plus these days, maybe. Me with what's your fucking deal? Somewhere. See somewhere in the world. Yeah. Someone to warehouse. So go check out the C-so, right?

Yeah, absolutely. There'll be more. Right, since we only have one, any questions you wanna ask to a female, Swinger, 44 years, never had sex with other, they never had sex with other people though, they just do some pickle kissing and stuff. Yeah, I think the 18th year is when you'd fucking dive

in a little bit, right? You know what, that does bring up a good point. Do you have a launch date? Do you have like, hey, we hit 15 years, you can bang little bit. Oh, you know what? That does bring up a good point. Do you have a launch date? Do you have like, hey, we hit 15 years, you can bang another lady. Yeah, yeah. You go full swap. Do you have a full swap launch date?

No, that's just how we feel. We don't want to, we want to save that for ourselves. We do everything else. That's our fourth play. You know what? These are like people that have fruit for dessert. You're like, you're always going to be pretty healthy. Yeah. You treat yourself, but you don't go over the top.

Does a guy ever take like a half hour break in the bathroom with he's just sort of checking out the scene with one of the girls? Yeah, you guys, I've just seen the house to lay out. The thing is, to me, it's going to, there's nothing wrong with it. It's going to hooters. When I'm like, if we're gonna go out to like,

whatever hooters is supposed to provide to you, can we just go to a place where a girl like fires wiffle balls out of her snout? Like I'd rather just see some like down and dirty, like grunt shit. Who, before going to the mill? And what's the food spreads like at a swingers party? Is that the thing?

I can't answer this. A lot of ZD buffets. Yeah. ZDZ carries well. Am I right about this? Am I right, Jessy? Jessy, it's a lot of, a lot of pasta buffets.

Sometimes depends on the party. Some parties don't have any food. Some have just like appetizers. Some have a full spread of food. Some of us B.Y.O.B. Do you ever, have you ever walked into a party and immediately left? Not immediately, but we've gone to ones where we walked around like, yeah, this isn't our crowd and left He would be like I wonder if they look at you like zombies. I think no hot. Is that the idea? It's just yeah, not not not our type. There's no has anyone ever walked into the party with you there and then left Yeah, that's got to hurt. You're like fuck you do

That'll be my biggest fear The door they go. Oh, it's just like the client tell here. It's't know. That would be my biggest fear. Oh my god, they're walking in there. The first one of the door they go, oh, it's just like the clientele here. It's here, it's here, it's see him look at you, and they go, do you want to get out of here? Yeah, like what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just mopping the floor. I'm like, oh, I do it either way.

I host, I host, I'm a host. I'm a host thing, I'm hosting a gang bank today. I want like a 50 year old mother of three to call in, be like, yeah, I'm like a gang bank queen. No, I'm not, I'm not. Okay. I'm just gonna find those. I mean, put the I'm like a gangbang queen. No. Okay. I'm just going to find those. I mean, put the word out.

You got the feelers out now. So, yeah. It's out there. Well, mostly it's like age. Like, we've gone to a party where like, we're the youngest ones there. We're like, yeah, I don't think this is our scene. I'm sorry. Because it's like senior citizens.

If I looked into a party and there was a naked old man with a huge dick, like, just soft dick, like eating a finger food. I think it was welcome. That's like the shining. Remember when the house came back alive in the shining at the end? I'd never once chubbed up to cocoon. Yeah. That does raise another question. Is your husband packing? He's good size. How would he compare to the dicks that are sort of swinging around? Yeah, is he ever get like, is he ever get shy? Is that a factor? Yeah, he's ever seen a guy go, Jesus. Because if he's got like the nicest piece there,

you think he want to get it out. Well, that's a two-part question to that also. Yeah, like when does he get jealous or did not care at all if the other guy who's dickies about to watch you suck is significantly bigger than his? No, he enjoys it because he enjoys watching me enjoy myself. Oh, you guys are going to make it. Was this you and your husband,

have you and your husband been together for longer than 16 years and you started this together or did you guys like meet doing it? No, we started it together. We were together about three, four years before we started. I've looked, Christine's going to be like, does he like make you do it and like hold your hair and say he's going to hurt your family if you don't do what he says? Is that is that the lifestyle? Is that what the lifestyle is? What happened? I was the one who, I'm more the one that's into it than him on the one who kind of got us into it. Really?

That takes a secure man to be like, okay, I'm not going to bail on this. Yeah, all right. Guy that's, you know, he'll do whatever you said. Or he's scratching his lips. Or scratch his surface here, though. If he... We started, I was straight,

and I've since realized I'm bisexual. Yeah, I did. And we were watching real sex. It is a choice. And we were watching sex parties. It is a choice. And we were watching sex parties and stuff. I'm like, oh, that's kind of cool. I want to check that out.

And we used to live near New York City, and we had a friend that lived in the city and told us about some like, babies, come on. You did sort of a, on the count of three, we'll say what we think we should do. And one, two, three three Skeet trip blow a dude Many golf blue bang go car. No go car three no, no, okay, not Disney. Hmm. I think I say Disney, baby. So you love Disney

Um, you suggested to him. So are you're the more into it? Well, not more into it, but you were the one leading the charge If he said if he was like, I think I do want to start like fucking other people when we do this, would you jump into that or you that's your line too? No, that's my line. I know I work. That's the thing that we share together and I don't want to change that. He's like standing behind her, just we share it together. Meet the one dude to start a vare thing. Yeah. He's like, uh-huh, I definitely don't want to fuck it up.

Hey, if you want to go first, you want me to start this one. Yeah. I got it. Yeah, that's a good thing. If you can get your chicken vines, you go, that sort of vare thing that I thought girls, come on baby. Yeah, it is. It's your turn thing.

It pumps us up. It's our thing. Come on. Well, thank you very much. Guys, you know our thing with me fucking girls. Jesse, thank you very much for calling in. Is that art thing? What? I think so.

Is that art thing? I really think it's your thing. Jesse, you told me you like girls when you dragged me into the lifestyle. Yeah. I want to talk to Jeremy, who is in St. Louis. And what's actually cool? Jeremy's spoken class today.

I don't know if you heard that. Yeah, I'm here. Oh, no. All right. No, Jeremy. Jeremy, you think you ruined lifestyle weekend? Yeah, Craig Gregor, by the way, this is the first time I'm calling. Gregor, last night. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, see, I'm my girlfriend. I've been with her about four years, and you find out pretty quick when your partner has had a lot of adventures in their lives, more than what you have. Yeah, they're fat. And you find out some things, and there we go. Well, kids are big in the sports, and there like this group of parents that were always involved with the same sports and stuff and

we funny at a free weekend where we the college schedule we're going to go down and go camping at this resort area and so we decided it's all a lot and we went down there and all the kids they weren't off doing their stuff and the adults were all in the pool and and on a nowhere The conversations starts talking about swinging it then right away my girlfriend is like Jeremy doesn't like to share. Oh dude you're chicken. Oh damn dude. Dude you're chicken is a slut dude.

She's fucking rude. Yeah dude she's kicked you in the nuts. She's like Jeremy fucking stink. Jeremy wouldn't let me go on the balls and just get duck water tight go I want to coach tailors balls in my mouth That he's rough to be the kid walking home and just seeing your mom getting railed by the coach I'm coachin him hey mom I'm back. Oh, the kids are being mean to me over at the mini go what the fuck hey mom I think I fell into some poison on She just go hey baby do me

Give mom that Fitchy Let me go get some hydrogen peroxide Hey, I go have one of mommy's Munk's I'll be done in five take a walk so she says that while you guys are all at the pool. She's like He doesn't want to share okay yeah they're all staring at me and I'm like and they just kind of played off and stuff and then but like all weekend something of some sort would come up again like oh except for Jeremy and I'm like ah dude because everyone here would eat lim abeans with dinner except for stupid old Jerry. We want to watch

a Friday the 13th. Jeremy doesn't like this is fucking Jerry. I bring it up to her like a week later. I'm like, hey, I felt kind of cornered in this situation here and I told her my side or how I felt and she just laughs. But buddy. This is you get treated like a woman in the situation every possible way shut up pussy I mean, I think other girls are pretty I would have sex would you pussy? Okay, she like not check she goes because I gotta get these fucking marshmallows out Here Why do you go on so many walks that weekend? You can do that.

All right, now let's have sex and wear the coach uniform. Yeah, I'm going to call you a coach, but I promise me there's nothing. Damn, Jeremy, do you feel like you let down everyone else there, or they're all like... I feel like I ruined their transfer to have a little relaxable weekend. Oh, damn, dude, I bet a guy... I bet you genuinely affected... Is it her kids or your kids? Her kids. I bet you genuinely affected one is it her kids or your kids? Her kids.

I bet you genuinely affected one of her kids' friendships because their friend's dad was mad at you that he didn't get the fuck, you know? I'm a dorky ass, shit, I'm a dad. Yeah, your mom's new boyfriend's a real piece of work. We wanna have fun on that mountain trip. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's wrong with you? You spread the good out there with your trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He's going to go down there with. Yeah. He goes, I can't. Justin's mom says I'm not allowed to sleep over there anymore. Until you leave. Yeah. I'm fixing a car in the garage. Not like your old man, that nitty. Hey, I'd say grab a soda from the refrigerator, but your stepdad hates you sharing Well, thanks for calling in Jeremy. Thank you. Jerry. Go go ruin any other weekends. Did you so the reason we got to this was We found out that people that wear pineapples That's a sign Yeah, and so is that I was pineapple kind of in any way there could be pineapple signs on your house

Or using the imagery of a pineapple Sort of like the illuminati thing. Yeah, exactly. I knew the unicorn. The unicorn was one that didn't blow my mouth. Oh, yeah, I've seen the unicorn. That's a fun thing to get to people that don't know that. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah.

So we're fun, little prank. We're fun, we're thinking about putting out merch that just has pineapples on it. Oh, that's out. It just targets on the back of all the can't just say and just say are you in the lifestyle? Yeah, we want to call our fanship the lifestyle. Yeah, I know a guy that you got. I don't know if you've ever done the swingers clubs as a comic, but they used to have them in where I'm from.

They can't. Well, they said swingers clubs and like, I did a new. I did a new. And I've walked into a swingers thing twice like a party thing twice ever, but now I've never performed comedy yet. So I think I opened for Bobby Kelly, the woman that called in right now says that she goes this place in the polka nose.

And it's like one of those those giant champagne glasses. And I think I, I think I, I think I, I do like shit. Yeah, I think I, we didn't stay the night there, but I think yeah. Well, my body did it and he ended up going up to the party afterwards.

So we ended up hooking up with this guy's wife. This guy was probably 27, wife's 55, right? And he said, yeah, he said the guy was pumped about it. The dude was, you know, like, yes, dude, young bull. Right? Good job. He has them and he said, as he's having sex with the life, he said the dad started grabbing his shoulders.

Like good work. You know, kind of coaching him in. That's hilarious. Oh, you're of coaching them in. That's hilarious. Oh, you're really in there, champ, huh? Oh, I never seen it open up that much. You're pretty tense. You got to relax your triceps. You're gonna fucking pull something.

Babe, you're wrong. You are pretty stretched out. Yeah, it is. It's scary. Just gotta remember you, Mike. It's too fucking Mike. That really reminds you of him. Do tell me this guy's reminding you, my brother.

Tell me he's got me. Daddy's daddy. Was he like, at one point, you go, I got this. I'm okay. Yeah, that's remind you my brother. Tell me, steady. And he's like, at one point, I got this. I'm OK. Yeah, that's exactly what he did. I think he's holding your hip, he's taking a bowl. There you go. You want to know it's crazy.

I let go of your hips five pumps ago. You've been fucking this whole time. It apparently was very normal where he goes, hey, I don't know. And he goes, yeah, all good. I'll go way down. Hands up here, dude. You just finished a job. Happy wife, happy life. I got to get out of here. What do you I'll good Malphi way nice out. Hands up here dude, you just finished a job. Hey, happy wife, happy life.

I gotta get out of here. What do you mean by, you might have to ring you out? Yeah, no, you're okay. Okay, and you need to tell you just give a little whistle. Give a little whistle, I'll come back in. And it's crazy, he was the comic. So then it's funny after she's done, she goes, I really love that escalator bit.

Yeah, yeah. So thanks, yeah, follow me on that. Oh, yeah, there's my boxers, I think there's my boxers. I have, yeah. Was Jake the one that was Jake the one that had the, his call drop, he called back, was either one that had the dad on the swingers club and there's pineapples all over the driveway.

Yes. Jake, is that you, buddy? Yeah, I'm here, can you hear me? Hey, Jake, he sounds so down. Bumbed, boss. Yeah, yeah. Stop, Jake. make is that you buddy yeah i'm here can you make a jake sense of the bomb but it's a j it's a suicide prevention line dog

uh... never thought my the reason i get on the radio's because of my wonderful that's decision to do your horny pops your horny pops got here uh... thank you swinging gary and we're drunk area did be gary and i've got seen you got swing and. You got sex stuff Gary Guys got it got a testicles like water balloons is full of foam Yeah, so he owned a he owned a swingers club Yeah, so after my folks got divorced he Did that why don't you just gonna be hearing like everybody else is divorced

that by a Camaro why do you have to fuck all the moms I go to school with why are you begging the fat lunch lady bitch oh my god dude now she's nice to me and close me my first name all the time so I guess the only interesting bits are like I went there so like I worked there a couple times was close to like painted engine Yeah, the dungeon you had a rain yeah, they're fucking ring out the come back. No, no No, like before before it had ever opened like I like ran some cabling. I was like trying to earn money as a teenager Yeah, everyone wet towels after Yeah, he was I had to pad the floors.

So people get power by. I built steps today and felt the real sense of accomplishment. He's like, yeah, actually your dad's going to be ringing out some drag whore on this thing. Because dad, are you building a karate dead? Why are we so sort of installing handlebars on the roof? Yeah. What's this for? He goes nah you wouldn't get it son tonight build me a wall of a hundred holes. What's behind the holes people will ask you'll see These floors are soft enough to get pile drive-on So you worked there before he opened it did he tell you once the divorce happened? Did you notice a shift in his attitude? Did he become a lot more sexual?

No, no, he didn't, it was almost like, he didn't talk to me. It was never like a sit down like, so this is what I'm doing. It was just kind of like what was happening and I was just sort of, you know, I mean, we didn't have a conversation about it. But did he just own it or did he partake in it? No, no, he owned it and he was there. he just own it or did he like partake in it? No, no, he owned it and he was there. I mean, obviously didn't like witness him partaking and anything.

It's time to have a conversation about the birds and the bees and their neighbor birds and the bees. And then there's another hive and sometimes that hive parties. It goes also, I gotta say, I noticed that bee that's been teaching you English. He goes, I wonder if she wants to see see my bird sometimes you don't realize the bees that work over at circle K or down to party If you got coke it brings you use

Swingers come to cook like bees And you know the only thing better than being a bee is owning the high is owning the high. He's owning what you could build. He never had to go solo. Build that tree that I've built on. That's the move. That's with our other of the guy who would go, the lone wolf who went by himself.

Dude, I thought it was a joke that he was a lone wolf and this guy's like, no, man, I just show up at swing your events by myself. And you're like, that is just pound fucking. You remember three in a gang bag? That's so funny. But so Jake, your dad, you install this cable, you kind of help build it up. And then is there ever a moment where you go dad

What are you opening are you ever question? No, no, no, I knew what was going on by then and I didn't really think it was that I can't when you all right Then let me ask you this all around you go. Oh, sorry when you grow up around I think you're about to make a great point You know, I was just like whatever you grow up around you think is normal I didn't realize like I was in my 20s. I was like oh that's pretty fucked up, you think is normal. I didn't realize it was in my 20s. I was like, oh, that's pretty fucked up. Was there a moment where he revealed it to you? What was the moment where you found out what that was? I went up there one time when I was underage, like 17,

when it was open. I guess the only things I really witnessed was I was kind of just sort of snooping around and I opened a door to a room of like What I would describe is like four jays naked except two of them are women nice and what's a J. Oh, I was thinking about you That was a jesus So you open the door there's four naked people there are they just meet dude Yeah, they just sitting around or were they in the action and then you sort of said a year in can I Hey, that's that is that that structure right there. We could do some work on that right something Jake I'd like to know you said what you went on when it was open like

Swinger's club to me is like What's a swingers club to me is like, what's a swingers club? It's essentially swingers parties. And I've gone, I said to a strip club where they were like, when I went in with my ex. Yeah, it was kind of like a good sort. And they were like, you wanna go downstairs

and the swingers club downstairs, we went down there and there was just like, some floating two other three people down there. But we didn't do it. You got to make them in. No, there was nothing happening. But this was, so it wasn't a strip club, it was just like only a swingers thing? So like, I'll try to describe it quickly. Like, you, you know, you walk in,

there's like the front desk and obviously you can't see anything going on. You have to walk down a hallway. And then it's like a bunch of different areas. There's like an open dance floor. There's a room where it's literally just all beds. There's a room where there's like, like beds. There's a room where there's like, like I said, a dungeon, but it's really just like where you go get spanked and stuff like that. It's like, you know, there's literally

a gold glory area like you were talking about. That's so funny though, that that's just like your family business. So you're bored about it. The way your friends whose parents on a diner, you know? You got this spanking room. You know, like, he's down,

where is Taylor? He's in the spanking room. That was last time I saw you know, he's like, he's don't worse. They're like, where is Taylor? He's in the spanking room. That was last time I saw him. And he's cleaning up the glory holes. Well, God, mom, he's going through homework. Well, tell him I need to lawn mode back home. He shouldn't be here working. Did you ever fuck with that place ever?

No, like I said, I only went like twice. And at one time, I was approached by, did you really rebel against dad and just have a monogamous girlfriend? We have missionary sex. We never look at anything but each other. Well, what did your mom think about this? Yeah, dude, you're of course she thought it was appalling You can tell that you can tell why she did she say that you can't stop fucked up because you can tell his mom was like what the fuck's going Yeah, he's fucking great dad really opening up fucking swingers Tell me you did install the cable. Did you dad a door or is your dad a door curzy? Is he a good-looking guy? He's he passed in like 2020

12 or something. He's um he was a pretty handsome dude. Yeah, was the swingers club open until he died? No, no, it only ran maybe like three or four years. I don't think it was very like it's basically a bunch of dudes who like, you know, you know, that's just your dad just, your dad just rented a space and was like, it's four swingers per hit. You can feel the, it's filled the dreams,

but like, if you know, and there's a bunch of guys who goes, who's, oh, of guys coming out of the other fucking corn and you're going like no No, no, no, no supposed to be women buddy. I got I can't really I forgot this. I dare you can't really I forgot this How dare you so the first time me and my ex wife went to that downstairs thing It was around the corner from our place. Yeah, it's gone now. I think it was a gold diggers or something was called or gold I forget was something on Queens term and there was our Queen's boulevard. And there was like the above. It was the strip club and downstairs was the swingers club. But we had become like friendly bullshitting with the bartender girl there. It was like a 40 something year old lady with like, it was fine. She was

trying to stay young and rockin' roly, but like, she was a 40 something year old lady for sure, late 40s probably, and we were hanging out and then what was it? Maybe she was the one that got my ex the fucking like bartending at one job because she fully closed my ex. She was like bartending for a swingers party and I was able to go watch. It might have been there because you free tickets. There was buddy. That girl. That girl at one point was laying on a pool chair. Okay. An indoor pool. And she was like dildoing herself for vibrating or clitoris something. Whatever it was. There was all these guys started like. It's like she's just sat down the chair,

started doing that and all these guys, just like from being around the room, they could just like, what, it's like turning to her, and he just walked over to it and said, it's like when the vampires descend on a, they can, you know, interview with the vampire when they pass them along and then they all descend. That's what it looked like,

like she was just sitting there playing with us, and then a bunch of guys just ran around and just like beating off like over. It was like, oh, what's happening here? This is gross Yeah, I know I'm just like a guest book. Can I jump in this fucking circuit? Dude the guy that fucking pops first and then feels weird. Yeah, you guys might have a pop-up drum circle or what's up? Oh god, this is like thriller, but worse No, I didn't but I was when I watched I was like oh, it's like I know her. I'm like oh look she's fucking me

Go away from her. Yeah, I'm ago. She's naked and fucking porn to these out like I was like oh she fucking playing with her pussy And I'm like oh go like these guys like oh naked bus because there's just less women of these Oh Persuers Persuers there is much less women but these things but to go solo is also a mine fucked to me There's a fact that so many guys go solo is That any girls ever gone solo is more of a mine fucked the fact that you almost want a checker rebike what's what's up No attractive girl is gone solo completely to a swimmers club attractive girls going with I knew I had girlfriends that went to sex parties with like other girlfriends

Okay, sure. I'm saying that though that probably blows her mind to go with two girls. How pumped would you be of three chicks? You guys are all fucking here. You guys know what this place is. That's a once in a lifetime You guys don't really jakes dad built this place. We said when we came out tonight that it was just going to be us girls dancing and that's all. I got you a surprise. We're at a swingers club, but you see how this is dance floor. I got you 8 to 9 45 to 55 year olds, debtor and somewhat decent sellers. Fan fucking tasty.

Sure. You're in the lifestyle. Good job Mark. You're so good. You're so much fans with the bonfire logo on top of the pineapple. You're in the lifestyle. You're in the lifestyle. That job, Mark. You're so good. So that's fans with the bonfire logo on top of the pineapple. You're in the lifestyle. That's great. Crackle crack.

So many people are gonna get hit on. You know how, so our fans always drag their girlfriends through our comedy shows. That's what it always is. It's always the girlfriends that take the picture of us and guys. Just be like, oh, no. A shaking man who can't believe he's just, that he was able to somehow get next to us for this picture and his wife

Who is just totally like oh my god? We go So it's gonna be funny when they buy bonfire shirts and someone's trying to bang her and she's like what's up with all these people being Supersexual nothing. Nothing. Oh, constantly. Yeah, then coming up with a place where they're in a lifestyle constantly It's up to you in lifestyle. I'm in lifestyle dude. I'm in a lifestyle big time. Big time lifestylers. God dude, that's gonna be so crazy when your dad goes through a divorce and he goes,

hey guys, guess what I'm in due gang bang. That's a good idea. How can you not be into that? Can you get into woodworking? Oh, it is very too. It's like, well, you can have him on the weekends but you're not having gang bangs at the house. You go you go well good news. I'm about to buy a free glove Guess what? Guess what?

Sharing your property. I got my own fucking space and I'm gonna do the bedroom like I talked about I'm gonna do the glory holes. I'm gonna have a dungeon that you would never let me out Your two fours dad opening a sex class so mortified And I might tell you what's gonna happen in there some suck it some fucking even though party is gonna be like Oh, maybe I'll see some naked women as a kid and you like that's kind of cool some party has to go like you're Disobiting a swingers clip you It is absolutely grab your bridge of your nose like someone knew I wish they asked like the kids not find out like other kids I find boys would think it was fucking awesome

Other girls I don't think I don't think boys would think it was awesome because they'd be their mom They'd be like the fuck. Oh you think they're not you think this guy was nailing other kids in school's moms Oh, no, I'm saying like if you found out your parents were into that you'd be like no No, no, he I'm saying like, if you found out your parents were into that, you'd be like, No, no, he's saying to be, if you found out your dad was running a snack. If my dad when I was younger, it wouldn't have made much difference in my life if he didn't start another family

and just open a swingers club. A swingers club would have been pretty fucking rad the fun that actually. The best and most rad would be if he was making more money in the Alamoney, like the way that he was paying for the sex club. She's paying shades her going to Attenon kicking back money so you can open his fuck dungeon. Oh yeah. Oh fucking hilarious because babe I have come a grown

accustomed to a lifestyle. And you have to pay for a lifestyle. Now I need at least three robes a week. Yeah. I'm sorry. Well your loot, the loot budget just went way through the loop. and loop stains linens. I'm sorry. I got to change linens. Yeah, those anal beads, J.F. Hard. Dude, if my dad was into the lifestyle, I honestly. Lifestyle so much.

The best. That's the best one. This whole thing started the day when I introduced the show, I go, we have the whole crew here. I go DJ Lou, my lifestyle partner, Christine. And we haven't stopped talking about it. It's been two hours. I would, if my dad, with, if my alcohol was dead was into the lifestyle, it would have

made it, it would have honestly made it make more sense. He started it. Maybe it was. Dan, the more you tell stories, there's a strong change your dad was getting the lifestyle dude. I bet your dad, he's hardies at the lake. Short, short OP, shirts dude, that's right up lifestyle. Charming must-stacks.

Yeah given you a freestyle bad. There was been used for some other stuff. He goes that dude honestly got hepsie from a slut. I think he was in the lifestyle dude. You should go back to his cash. He was wait I do remember I found that rubber fist in his garage. I go oh my god. Oh my god. All the outfits. I wonder if my dad did some lifestyle shit. No, he's not like you got married. You got married back to the time. Keep bringing home ping pong balls, little paddler table.

I told you, this is, why is it slightly crushed? I told you I would find, but I said I was willing to believe that it was the third in a three pack of porn magazines, but he would have those like call up, you know, up meet people like once. But it was back when it was like, you got a call and it's like a code to write enough. I mean, there were weird ads. Just the points I found at my dad's when I was younger.

But I do believe, I said just from a year or so later, getting porn magazines on my own or whatever, or being able to find them, the third thing in a three pack of porn is trying to get rid of for like six bucks is usually some sort of a newspapery bullshit. I've gotten that. It's like, find local she-mails. It's like the whole magazine.

You're like, I don't want to, why don't I own this now? Yeah, why do I want this? I got to throw this out. Yeah, man, this is a weird one to have. Because I've never finding my dad's being like, oh, I bet it was so because it didn't go with anything else But maybe as well Ralph is says him and his wife are in the lifestyle Was that or was that yeah, was that you just you rationalizing? I mean my dad had some she-mails But sometimes they come in a variety pack

Buyin' for a lot cooler straight stuff Everyone does it be funny if the if the regular pointo was the bullshit when he got in the third one in the pack Goes I couldn't see the third one cuz it was in the middle. It's just some bullshit naked girls thing Yeah, these chicks don't even have dicks. Oh my god. Who what's missionary babes? Entrills on a mission a church girls intimacy sluts. Oh Ralph guys and care Ralph are you a sloppy weird guy named Ralph or a fucking dashing guy named Ralph? I'm a passing guy, I don't know about sloppy.

Yeah. He sees passionate? He's passionate. I'm a very passionate guy. Fairly passionate. I'm Hispanic so that's how I feel. There it is. I was gonna say if you're Hispanic, it's probably a sexier version of Ralph.

White Ralph done a, done done age well except Ralph Sutton He's doing all right for a guy in the lifestyle Ralph is weird. I've been like a world's watch child. Yeah, I've been his family describing yourself as passionate It's great though. Yeah, I'm passionate. How'd you describe some passionate is your wife also Hispanic? Yeah, she is Passionate and she's all in and you guys are in full swap lifestyle Yeah, it's been about 16 years now, so I mean, it's not like it's been on and off. It doesn't like it's not

Consuming our life, but we do see people that it's like life consuming where like they take trips and all that A lot and shit like that. Yeah, you know, horny you have to be to take a full on trip for that My body is a comic. He did one of those. He's like a degenerate dude and he went to the island This guy on the phone probably knows what it is. No, he didn't is him. I think he didn't as a yeah We saw them with the work. He went he went to he didn't as him and his chicks really hot and yeah And then she kept setting things up and the other chicks kept waving it off. Yeah, she's bringing back the boyfriend. I've dreamt that nightmare also. So but wait, they're still going to fucking up the swinger party.

So the wife would be like, or the girlfriends would be like, no, but the boyfriends would be like, well, I'm still down. Yeah, yeah, basically, yeah, he would bring, yeah, they would bring couples back and they'd be like, I will switch it up and then they'd sort of get back and the girls And be like yeah, they would just mingle around sort of oh my god Maybe later though for sure, dude. That is the ultimate sexual being picked in kickball We're being picked last you like no. Yeah, no, that was like she was she was so hot. They didn't want to let their husbands fucker No, no, no, it was that The girl that was swapping didn't want to

bang my friend. Oh, hello. Because he was funny. I assume that your girlfriend, your wife rather is a very beautiful, how old are you guys? She's 43 and I'm 42. Okay. Full swap couple. Lif lifestyle for 16 years I like she's had a girlfriend and boyfriend and all that other shit The life friend that's not swap it that's no, but no but lifestyle dude Scripture and a proper parameters on the lifestyle That's real life In the lifestyle

Pineapple stuff. Yeah, we've seen it. We don't care for that. It's not our really our thing But man, you see some people just put that everywhere Access with a good looking around now for pineapple. Yeah, really Ralph when you say she had boyfriends and girlfriends before But you say it's you know guys don't really live it like your life that it like that sort of what do you say boyfriends girl Which is like a regular person she was fucking or someone? sort of what do you when you say boyfriends girlfriend is like a regular person she was fucking or we start playing a rocket league thing? I beg oh no it's which way she goes you want to go to see this movie? You go I don't know you go well Eric would yeah That's what you have said. Oh no I watch that jeopardy with Eric. I bet no

Excuse me. Excuse me. You watch it. We're watching a champion on the run. I already saw the billions with Eric Oh really. Yeah, that's fine. No, I got I think that's the thing we both said to each other we can fuck whoever we want, but we better not watch each other's television shows or anything like that. Yeah, is the boy is the boyfriend conicending like what's up champ? Hey, but I don't want to be your I don't want to be your brother husband. I just want to be your friend. I want to be your bud.

Your brother husband. When you wait, you said your friend. I want to be your bud. Your brother, husband. When you wait, you said you're in the same fantasy football league as him? Thanks for warming her up, farming, buddy. Dude, if you're in the same fantasy football league as him, if the shit talking gets real at all, you're giving the kind of upper ground. You're giving him the higher ground, dude. He's just going to be like, oh, yeah, yeah. You kind of did beat me in that game too bad. I'm your wife and you're like yeah always goes there this man always takes you

right there. George your breastings he goes yeah well your wife had Chinese last night sorry I was sucking your the love of your life's ass. Has there been any uh this is a good question I think I like to announce that my questions are good Ralph. Do you? Has there been any kind of like fights or anything? Have you guys had like Arguments based off of this shit because there's got to be a growing and a feeling out process to know like I can understand that too. I understand the trying something not liking it and then define the weird things like finding the lack of anger pocket. We'll find the lack of anger that would be like, okay, I hate it. I don't even like that. I hate it seeing it, but I can't be mad at you for being such a slut pig to do something

like that. But I love it. So it's like, it's got to be weird, right? But arguments come up. I mean, there's been like things that like we, when we first started, we're like, I guess we got to set some rules and some boundaries here. All right, so five guys is out. Five guys burgers in.

Once we did that and then like, we're like, okay, I'm cool with this, but I'm not cool with that. And then after a while, it's just, all... alright then we know we're doing and then like once like every like i said we don't make it alive like sometimes we'll even like do anything like that for like a year or two and then uh... we probably will go back and say you know what i'm kind of cool with this you and i we know we're at but i have seen some knockdown dragout fights between couples and and other

guys like that don't like uh... what they're like they're wives doing. Like one time this one guy, this one guy was just giving it to these wives and he's that fucking piss. Yeah. That's the wrong place. What they gave it to a two-hearted. Anyway, is this what swinging is?

This is what swinging is. I don't like this one, man. Dude, but also him going from it being cool to him getting mad We got okay, he goes alright. All right. All right buddy. Hey, hey get off her look at the fuck off her Look at him horse and around over there, huh? She's gonna do it. Huh? Who's better dick? But it's better dick near his mouth. He's not gonna you guys she's sucking it dude. She's fucking hey, hey bitch What the fuck you do

that again pissed off at their guy for like going too long and They'll they'll leave him at places before like Whatever like a house party or a club or something if a guy hasn't come he will watch his wife walk angry He's like, thank god He will watch his wife walk angry so he goes like, thank God She you know what it's taking you so on the come I'm just gonna go the fuck home I'll be in the Jeep charging my phone Assuming she leaves like whoa Yes, looks like I'm a feast at the altar looks like I left the pack and I'm alone wolf

Wait, but the knockdown dragout fights, are they fighting naked? I've seen a woman attack another woman naked. Lawson. Love it. And then one guy was just like shirtless and the other guy was just in the boxers about it. I've seen that. But it's just like, it's just really cool. Getting into a fight with a guy who's pussy is still damp with your wife and and and you're mad at him and he's him. Dude pulling at us someone's wife and also justifiably being confused as the wise someone's angry at you. You probably goes dude he goes what I was just giving your wife the high hard one.

I can turn it down again. What's up, dude? What's up? Dude, I didn't know you wanted me to go mid. I thought you wanted full blast. Oh, sorry, man. I was really, she was really accepting me there for a minute. Why? What's up? Are you pissed? Hey, Ralph, have you ever seen people outside, like at the grocery store or someone that you've partied with before? Like just in regular life? A cop giving you a ticket. You know what, when you got a white first started, we were at like a grocery store and we were walking by someone that I got fucked and we just walked by like we just didn't know each other

but we both looked at each other like I know who you are but just keep going. Pineapple Island. Yeah, go check the pineapples. And goes well okay Ralph who is that he goes that is a friend Damn this crowd's so in the lifestyle good to see you again friend and do the remit again Ralph wait a little wait a little such a sexy life you're a passionate man God bless you take care crackle crackle crackle dude, we should take our break. I don't know how much show we have left

Well, go check out Ryan Long special right now on YouTube white immigrant You can just hit play and fucking watch it right there boom filmed at the stand give it to him Don't give it a view. We'll be right back hanging out with Ryan We don't know how much time we have left because just live in this lifestyle. You don't know where you mind The show hard outs at 56. I'll tell you what when we do these teachers Ryan you get one fresh off the presses Are you in the lifestyle? well, yeah You've been listening to

Sirius XM's bonfire new episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.