The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Live From Quarantine (feat. Ed Larson)

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

Jay & Dan go live for the first time since the pandemic & recount some of their worst strip club memories. The guys family views on politics, race, and what its like being the Black Friend of a lot of white people. Jay explains his love/hate feelings on legendary TV host Jerry Springer. Comedian Ed Larson joined the show and discusses his new documentary, How America Killed My Mother.

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O'Coursen. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 PM on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire SXM

Crackle Crackle campers is black blue and welcome to the bonfires best of the week On Monday show the boys were live for the very first time since the pandemic and Jay and Dan recounting some of their worst strip club memories Show and tell us real it's B.Y.O.B last time I checked oh my god dude any strip club that allows you to bring your own booze is Full naked but I think it might be the bus with with booze full naked is usually not how that goes I think it might be the one where the girl told me that they They suck your dick over for a hundred bucks and then took a hundred bucks and then just Talked me through jerking off and never did anything just sat there and talk me through jerking off and I was like I thought the whole thing was you're gonna suck my dick and she was like yeah, we just tell you have to get you to come

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, ah, in there. How old were you when this happened? Yeah, 1920. And so you go in, you go into show and tell, walk us through this, Jason. Walk us through this very thing. I don't have a very long Mario that we went in there very quickly. Okay. And they were like, yo, the other girls are showing tell like suck your dick for whatever. And I think a girl came up and flat out sort of offered that on the dance floor. Hey, hey, you want me to blow you? 100 bucks.

Yeah, you want to get sucked off? Yeah, what a I'll take your fucking rope if you want it. Yeah, if you want to come over and suck you off. Yeah, give me a give me a bend. It's all about the Benjamin's baby. I'm popping my mouth. You can put them on the glass. Um, dude, that's so fucking great that he's just walking

like it's a convenience store. Yeah, and she took me to a back room and I gave $100 and she put it in a machine. Like a parking validator? Yes, and it went away and then she was just talking and telling me to pull my dick out which I was humiliated to do standing little pudd It's just bad. You're standing where was it can I ask

Opiance questions was it was it a comfortable room? No, it was like a massage table But she was sitting on the massage table. I was just standing there with my door in my hand See that's these are the parts of the stories I need to hear because I need to know how to like when when DJ when DJ Lou was an Amsterdam with the lady of the night. And he said that there was like wax paper on her fucking bed. Doctor paper office. Yeah. Doctors office paper.

She should say which paper and it's like you think about that that touching my butt. I think greatly affects my boner density. Oh, that it's out. It's definitely not going to get to its thickest. Yeah, and so like you and a room with this lady going like, pull it out. Yeah, she's like, Jacket. That's good. Yeah, wrap it up.

You like that and she was like, show me her pussy and whatever. Here's the thing. If what she did cost what it cost, like I'd get it to some degree, you know what I mean? Like I get jerk off while she takes me to a private room and like plays with herself or shows her pussy or whatever, like I get it, I guess, but it was so she's something you're dick so I'm jerking off and it's hot what she's doing.

Do you know what I mean? So like I'm trying not to come. So I'm like, hey I thought and she was like, yeah I'm gonna. I'm gonna just keep going and she would do shit to herself And then at one point I was like are you gonna not do it? She was like and she points she goes well You've only got so much time and she points to a thing that machine. She put the money in Was counting down like 10 minutes Dude dad is awesome.

That was awesome. Was it timer? Was it big? It's brilliant. It's brilliant. It should be like they should have the big numbers like the way center score boards used to be. Absolutely.

Big red. Big red. Yeah, did you have a big? But it was red. It was red and it was those kind of numbers but it was very small right down like kind of below the the bed thing almost so I go shit So now I'm feverishly masturbating Yeah, and then she goes I'm gonna suck that shit right when you're gonna come which is she's not sucking what I'm not coming She certainly is gonna suck it when I do come by when so I was like all right now now it's happening now

now now everywhere now Now and she just and she just she got on all fours and looked at my dick while I came And then when I and then I was like oh man, I was like what I thought am I crazy? This is all things we just saw my dick and she goes that's something we just tell you so you come quick And I'm like what and then I was like Let's not seem like kind of like false there and she goes you're gonna go tell yeah I'm like yeah what are you gonna do

you can't go back and say hey I'm gonna always get my dick sucked and all I do was jerk off get the fuck out of your piece of shit better business bureau dansoater I would like to report show and tell for false advertising I felt right went I felt robbed a little bit. But at the end of the day, actually, I'm actually happy. I didn't pay a girl. It was like my dick. Like that.

That time. Yeah. Also, that time. And it says you get older. You're like, I'm happy that time. I didn't let a girl suck my dick for money. And it's good you didn't know about the time or till the end. Yeah.

Me Lewis. And speaking of Justin Silver went to a B squad afternoon strip club in Montreal together once. We were doing comedy works up there. And we went to a B squad afternoon strip club in Montreal together once we were doing comedy works up there And we went to a daytime strip club. It was Everything you're expecting, but it is where we learned that little Wayne song that I loved What's that money all my mom money money all my mom? Money's all off Hit is the number one hit at daytime?

Monterey out strip. You know what caught the horses? Super hot. Super hot chick was dancing black chick dancing. And it was she was dancing. Been moving so good to that song. I remember all members of the line, you know, Mr. Toilet paper.

I'm the, you know, dear Mr. Toilet, I'm the shit. I was like, that's a weird line, alright? But I love that song from that girl dancing that afternoon thing. I think Lewis got taken for 60 bucks. Ultimately, it was a bad experience. I'd say. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, Lewis went back there and had, you know, Lewis is a confident guy. Lewis went in there and thought that she's probably banging it out. And she was like, no, that's how we do this here. No, not that, not that. He went back there and he paid for a dance. And then she just kept dancing. And Lewis was like, I guess these two songs are because she's super enemy. And then she was like, all right, so you know, we this much money for those last two

dances. Like, what? And he had to come out and be like, I got some out of cash. Like, you know, we what I barely had cash you know I mean like we got we were definitely doped in there for sure. Gambers up next Dan and Jay talk family politics race relations and ask me about being the only black person at a white event believe me it's something that I know plenty about. I think my family is super duper liberal,

I don't think they give a shit about anything like that at all. Although I black lit or DJ Lou rather, I'm sorry, you will say that it was, they told me that it wouldn't do well, but I was like, if they asked me to get on a microphone at all, I was gonna say, I'm happy to see you, just like, hacky. Like, happy to see you guys invited all of your black friend. There's a point. And I offered to steal the DJ's microphone and give it to you.

Yeah. And then we just decided not to do that at all. But I have you speak at the wedding when you're the A. Okay. A. Okay with that. I know. I know. But I just find it weird.

It's like you're having a family touch football game and you're an NFL all pro. And they're like, so you're good, right? You just want to hang out and you got like a hot dog on the side. You're like, I'm having fun at this barbecue. But it's like, put it, you put you on the mic. No, I don't want to talk about that. You missed all the toast. So he may have been asked to speak if he had been inside.

No, by the way, part of the reason. Part of the reason we skipped. But no, I would actually bet, I bet at that wedding, there was 30 to 40 people who went have some interesting ideas about black people. There was a good chance of that. Some real interesting ideas, but I'm not, honestly, it's not any, and I'm not taking a shit on my sisters

Brothers family where my sisters husbands family at all But her in laws. Yeah, but I mean, but you know that is where the neck tattoos were so let's just say Something tells me that's coming along with me a couple a couple of ethnic ideas But but that said I'm making pure speculation. No, my mom's like such a fucking liberal doof. There was my cousin got married to a guy from the mountains that she sensed divorced and there were a lot and there were enough. Get her duns yelled at her wedding that I didn't want to get it in this too far into here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My mom, like if I made like racial jokes, like even younger, she was like always still like, no, you know, she was like so. None of that in a- My mom was always fine against the Polish. It was always the Polish that my mom felt, you know, they're lesser, so much to the face. But did your mom have to your mom or anything?

Have anything like that at all? Not at all. My mom was my mom's liberal. My mom's very liberal. My dad would talk to me with all those men. Hello, how are you doing? Is this thing on? All right.

All right. My dad would not all right. My dad would talk shit, but he would never like, there's nothing. My dad is not. Gary got into rush limbaugh right before he died. So don't know how that would have played out maybe he went yeah for sure I don't know if I'd be one of those get my if my dad would just be some fucking grizzled Lake County piece of tanned leather like and my liberal cook son living in New York City among all the lib hard if somebody was dating a

black guy my dad would have a problem with it, but he would definitely say like, so and so is dating a black guy. Oh, like, Oh, so he would leave with it? It would be like, Oh, that's kind of weird. It would not go all the way.

That's weird. It would be acknowledged, I think, but I don't think of any negative way. It's just like, it would be pointed out that it was noticed. Yeah, but I think the mere bringing it up as a thing connotates a negativity where you're like, this guy. Maybe, oh, maybe, yeah, I don't know,

but I mean, I don't want to speculate on that. But black Lou, when you go to your wife's family stuff, when it gets like a little like deeper into the family, do you ever feel like, like a lady with pearls going like, look at them dancing. They can't stop moving those people. Just like, so we got to like, it's happened before. You could feel it. You could feel it though. Like, um, I mean, but isn't there something adorable? I understand. There's, I understand they're seasoning, but this is just overdoing it But then don't you think in black lieu if you could answer this don't you think there's something adorable

About I can only say if you if you find it harmless in the I mean a harmless Racism in the sense of like that. It's just there's from a time and a place where they just didn't really see a lot of black people Never had a problem necessarily with them, but it's just like a thing Everyone's different. It's very different to them. So isn't it adorable watching somebody try to be like cool with it? Like they don't even they're not not. They went from being almost unaware of it to now just being and forcing themselves to be cool with it. And that's sort of adorable. They're all, you know, I mean like it's it's cute to see because they're trying. They're trying they're trying they mean well

Dude when I told my grandma that she when she did that thing where she goes I could tell by that woman's laugh She's oriental I go You cannot say that she goes What what am I supposed to say and I go a you could say Asian you could say Asian American and she's like oh Dan orientals fine, oh yeah, you're from a completely different time. Dude, the last time my grandma and I drove across the Bay Bridge, she was like, she pointed to this hill and she goes, your father and I watched them turn back

the bridge lights on after Japan surrendered. And you're like, what's up? What's up, you old ass bitch? Did you just like And quote a world war two memory? Yeah, she's like, oh, wow, I'm like, that's fucking crazy. But you don't think about like that are our wacky are wacky lesbian neighbor Rambo wacky lesbian neighbor You see her dentures the headband all the time lover she says this is a dinner by the way now

She's always been in her bed But she you know, we'll go up there and talk pussy with her once in a while because she's hilarious and she's like in her 70s I think or they're so squirts you guys get really Seriously 60s early 70s, but she just funny she goes you, you know, all the girls I've been with, I never been with an Oriental. She says it a lot. I've never been with an Oriental. And I'm like, I'm slipped on my fingers. I'm like, I think that's probably the reason why you know you're my first Oriental. She goes, you know what they don't like is when I ask them how they taste. They like when you ask them that. I'd have to be so much louder to do an impressioner, but I think I could do it if I got it right, but I'll work on it. It's a val next door impression.

Do you know what I heard? She doesn't oriental. She doesn't oriental all the, it's because the fact they're trying you also know that if like you were at like some sort of an outside backyard party at a house and someone goes, where's my purse? You still feel like 15 sets of eyes. Look at you a little bit. You're like, I'm on now. You saw me. I was over there teaching you old bitches bad men. Especially the younger ones who have a sense of humor. And no, oh, yeah, they'll play around with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not that's like, that's more like, yeah, but then there's an old confused person that takes it seriously where they go, are you serious? Did Lewis really steal that? Not just that, but how about the person, the ham at a party, the ham who's going to go ahead and like, and he makes every single black joke non-stop all night.

And after a while, you're like, we got it, man. We got it. Not that they're even offensive things, he's saying. You just go and like, yes, I'm the black guy here. Like, you know, two or three are fine, but we get it. If you ever had to say anything, have you ever, have you ever had to talk to somebody about you been like? We had't say something to a few friends because I'm a lot of white people's only black

friend. So jokingly all the time when I show up to parties, they like to say, Oh, hydro wallets, black guys here, you know what's going on. If you see it, say, say black blue, that's fine, but stop telling white people to hide their shit when I come. That's, it's never good. Black blue, that's such a spatula and spatula and hand joke while you're barbecuing. You go, whoa, here is. I'm your wallets. How do you, how do you like a medium, medium rare? All right. Black blue, you got to make us your exclusive white friends. No, no, no other whites were putting down the room right now, Black glue you seem to have you seem to have drawn more of a Frat boy type friend. Where your four whiteies that you need guys like us you need guys like us. You don't fucking give a shit

You've been you've been eating mayonnaise. You need your potlay ranch buddy. That's what we're Where your four spicy whites to get o' flavors in one sauce. Yeah, dude bring it. Dude. We're gonna teach you about grave digger You're gonna learn about You're gonna teach about truck rallies come with I can show you a world Yo, you ever meet you want to meet the guy who drove truck a source Rex once? Yeah, do you want to see how you roll two? Bots of a cigarette into a new cigarette? Crackle, crackle. In the next clip, Jay explains his love hate feelings on legendary TV host, Jerry Springer.

Now that we're live again, we're not recording in the middle of the day that the morning really feels a lot looser. It's morning. What do you mean? And I treated myself today to a first time in a long time, episode, I DV art it so I would have no commercials. And I just, well, I went and like get my child everything. And then I came back to a full DV art episode of Jerry Springer and man, let me tell you, I'm not just going to get an old hacky Jerry Springer jokes here because they've all been done.

First of all, Jerry Springer deserves, like, if he gets to go through Heaven's gates, if that's such a thing, he has to get met with like, 50 punches to the chops on his way through the door, because he's gotta go through a gauntlet. Yeah, he really, talk about the exploitation of just like borderline like mentally troubled people. It's and he just laughs at them to their face.

But he brings it up like an apathetic relative every time where he's like, this is John. He thinks he's a girl. He's having sex with another man who doesn't know he's a man and that man and that man is married to his sister it's always yeah it's family and friends fucking family and friends what it always is like Steve will coat Steve will cost us always pedophiles always pedophiles springer is exclusively cheating and cheating stuff and fights and Mari Povitch is exclusively paternity and lie detector. That's it. An out of control teens.

No, that's done. Those days are far long gone. Dr. Phil to go. No, Dr. Sir, that's my territory. Dr. Phil took over the teens. But Jerry Springer does one thing. It makes my shoulders tense up it. But it was make it also makes me laugh so hard at the end of the show. Christine,

see if you find like a best of audience questions like Springer because at the end of the show, were we watching this recently about when they were all talking shit, maybe trying to roast them. We were with the community. We were like watching it like how they roast very possible very possible They said I haven't watched this though in a long time, but I There may be always my thing But what just caught me was the end of the show that thing when they come back from commercial and a bunch of people who don't know These people in the audience just go hey The fucking fat doe boy there in the middle hey

You suck cocks and your girlfriends a. And then we're just cheers. It's like, Jesus, dude. God, damn, dude, who did we just talk about this with? And they can never hear on stage. They never hear on stage. They're always like, what do they say? What do they say? What? And that guy's fat. What do they say? Hey, to the slut over here, does your mom know what a whore pig slut you are? All right. And you look fat and purple. And they just cheers around and like, yeah. Yeah. It's such mass bullying.

It's great. Yeah, they just pick on everybody on the stage. I just want to know what it's like to have borderline bipolar behavior without the medication properly. Like what's that like? And everyone's like, oh, there's mocking their mental illness. What's the only have bulimia and all parties alcoholism? Like and everyone's like oh there's mocking their mental illness What's it like to be born looking like a circus freak that has zero Trud that has always trusted using like they fuck you dude. Who are you?

But that's almost the thing these these hillbilly's go up there I don't feel bad for them during the whole show they come out smiling and laughing while they fight It's all fake and horse shit, but man what you sign up for for them to get you on that show This is the price you're paying this is the price because I don't think you're really breaking up I don't think any of these things are real. They're all fabricated stories. However, I think the price you're actually paying Is that you're willing to sit there for 15 minutes while the audience just they don't still Jerry still not doing new shows, right? Completely. I don't know it currently in the quarantine, but well, I'm saying post quarantine when the quarantine is lifted when

COVID restrictions are lifted. Yeah, how have we not gone to a Jerry Springer show and all gotten a question on air? I don't know. I have no idea why I haven't done that or Mari Poe, which in my whole life, it bums me out every day. But you don't have fun there to be for any bonfire fans that are just sitting at a whole washing sprayer that a lot of us stand up and I'll be like, yeah, right here, one for the bitch that looks like you crawled out of a swamp. Why do your hugs look like they smell like moss?

Yeah, probably the reason that your brother's best friend left you is because your're pussy so stank Hey, crack a crack Rouse Yeah, they don't they don't owe you they cheer they love it. They love it. They go nuts for it So I was just wondering to the gentleman down there. What's it like having a cock for a nose? a cock for a nose. Oh, yeah, I'm so glad that, so glad to, we'll never meet.

I have a question for you. Is it legal in the state you live in to have sex with this fat pig over here? Ah, yeah. Did she get jealous when you're baking in front of her? Hey, hey, what's up? What are you doing here? And what are we doing here?

And I don't know if I said this last time also, but here's what catches me out. So that's the second and the last segment it turns out. And then here's what and I don't know if I said this last time also, but here's what catches me off So that's the second the last segment it turns out and then you're In the last segment, right, but that's what it says when he comes after all that it's like you fat pig like I'm surprised You're not like always considered being here in a gang bang with all the cocks you have just resting inside of you like oh, and then it comes back and Jerry springers like what is friendship? Friendship is something defined by websters as so I mean, it's just like

Like you're trying to put some weird tack on the end of this. I think he believes in his head That's what makes him a decent person Yeah, I think he tries to do a my three sons ending outside of a crack house like that's what Yeah, we just watched all that crazy shit, but sometimes loyalty can't be bought. It needs to be earned. Anyway, as good out of here kid. You're like, I just watched the family break up. It's even more emotional than that.

It's just like, why? Look, just because somebody's family doesn't mean that they have your best interest in heart. Family, you can choose. You can choose who you call your family. You can choose who you treat as your family. You could also turn away from your family that's painful to you and walk away from them forever, embracing the love of your new family, taking care of yourselves and each other.

Excuse me, Jerry. Is that when you took away from those bisexual biker girls that were banging the same guy? Is that? Yes. Strangely enough, it is enough it is actually know what makes him else makes him unlikable is he does a lot of like the girls like well because this is my third boyfriend that you have fucked when I go to work and I'm gonna beat your ass and Jerry Springer goes well if you don't mind let me let me just get out of the way first and everyone kind of goes out Jerry Jack as he's just like I'm not gonna get in the middle this he's just like a such a a pencil necked weep

Dude he's so unlikable Jerry Springer But it's funny how he riles up the poll on his stage in front of the crowd That's the way I used to get my mom mad in front of my friends, you know? Oh, yeah, what do you have in another cocktail? What is it fifth tonight or I'm gonna go to Jason's and my mom I Wow I know it's crazy. I still walk off home I've been like oh cool. That's probably why dad did want to tell you the truth

Sorry, I'm gonna get out of here before your party starts with Johnny Walker and your girlfriend Jim and beam and you drink alone Nobody no one to lend a took your man You couldn't keep Nick around You couldn't keep Nick around. I look at my friends getting under camp Jerry. Hey Black Will again. Best of the week is almost over but we have one more amazing clip for you. Comedian Ed Larson joined the show and discussed a little bit about his new documentary, How America Killed My Mom. Right before 9-11, my mom was living in Del Rey.

We were broke as hell, and so the internet that she had to use was the libraries internet. And she's always come home and she's like, there's these guys in there. They're using the internet. I don't trust them. And then it turns out like, fast forward after 9-11, she's like it was them I know it was that because the training school was like down the street like where they were learning how to fly so funny that she shared their computer lab with them and she should have acted and she should have acted quicker yeah who would have thought your mom's who would have thought your mom's casual racism towards Middle Easterners could have stopped 9.11

she just don't trust them there in the library and they go should we do Who to thought your mom's casual racism towards Middle Easter's could have stopped Just don't trust them there in the library and they go should we do something and she says no let it go and then she's like Eddie they're looking up a bunch of wacky websites about all kinds of stuff Jeff Burning burning temperatures one of them asked about landing and he said we don't need to learn how to land and they all laughed How they laughed daddy That's actually a real thing dude. I think like nine of the 13 or what it was we're at went to a flight school in Tucson Delray it was in Delray. Oh, yeah, is that where in Arizona? It was right now. It was right where my mom was living I'm telling you you. So I have for some reason I thought you were talking about Florida. I didn't realize you were talking about Arizona. No, don't don't worry Florida. Oh, but I'm saying there

was a flight school in Tucson, Arizona, that they a couple of them went to and literally told the instructor like, yeah, we just care about taking off. I like to do the terrace new white trash areas where they wouldn't be looked at funny for taking just take off lessons. Yeah. Hell man. I don't want the government down my neck wondering when I'm going to land. Why would I tell him some damn instructor that one boy with the one eyebrow came over and asked me how do I sling this thing like a dart and I said I'll show you. He gave me a suitcase. Okay, so funny hats. Funny hats. Funny hats. They smelled weird but some of the bitches paid in green. So I'm okay. They sell like cold cuts, but I'll tell you.

Once you're up there, the air's thin anyway. Yeah, that's great. So the documentary is about your mom obviously dying pretty funny if you're like no my mom still alive we killed a remote ship no uh... it uh... twenty sixteen my mom passed away from diabetes inter sleep and trump fucking trump right there is a direct correlation even though obama was in office

uh... through the diabetes my mom eventually started to get a bad brain and developed uh... gambling gambling problem and she's always got a trump toge mahal and trump toge mahal bucked her over hard man it was ridiculous i got the last footage in there before they shut the place down

i wore a white camera and i was trying to like pay off my mom's debts, you know, to the casino. And it wasn't looking. It was insane. How much did your mom owe the casino when it was all sudden done? I mean, you couldn't, I couldn't even tell you to be honest with you because it was like multiple like $300 or $500 checks because she would go in there with no money and she'd go write a bad check to the cash.

Oh, shit. And then every time the cashier would go cash because she's got bad gambling brain. So she's like, oh, I'll just win it at the tables and it'll be fine, you know? Yeah. And so she writes like a $300 check and she goes lose the money.

She's like, oh, fuck. So she goes back and writes like a $500 check. It was the money and the shit like that. What was her game? What table game she play? Blackjack and roulette. Wow. Damn, damn.

She would do the blackjack and then just finish it off with some roulette. Let's just toss it to the wind. I was not with her most of the time. OK, yeah. I was kind of against the gambling. It's a real cost. She's a little money. Here we go. You know, I don't know, Mom, you've already written four bad checks.

I don't think you've just invited me. I'm invited. I invited a fruity doesn't want to come. That's not what you want to do. Does it want to feel alive, I guess? Apparently, he doesn't have any nuts just like his father. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gambling. I don't, what do you think? Eddie, come play the ponies with me. Yeah. The dogs are barking. Come on. I hear the track. Did you really? Oh, yeah, the pomp and a harness in South Florida.

My grandfather also, uh, Jeff Ross's grandfather. Uh, he, uh, he owned 10 race horses and only one of them won one race. And but I grew up with the track at like ten years old and place in bed some hanging out with the jockies and shit i don't have to try fact does and fucking super fact that all that shit is all that stuff i know i still know how to read a racing manual but i i you know it's all i have a question how come uh... jeff grew up rich and

wealthy and you grew up uh up with your mom going to terrorists dinner in a cafe? Because my dad was a fucking asshole. Yeah. That's always the case, isn't it, Edward? That's always the case. It's a real... I didn't know Jeff until I moved to New York City and I like hit him up on my space.

I'm like, I want to do comedy. Can I know you? And then we knew each other. That's awesome. That was until 2007, 2008. Yeah. Actually met Jeff, even though we're first cousins. But my dad, when Jeff's father died, my dad just did some bad shit and kind of estranged us from that whole side of the family. And I didn't know that. So I moved up to New York. kind of estranged us from that whole side of the family. And I did that until I moved up to New York.

Killer as you did when you get to answer for your dad's shitty behavior, pretty fun. Yeah. But now, you know, it's all water under the bridge at this point. You know, since I moved to New York, I became friends with that side of the family. And it's like 30 more family members that I got to deal with now.

Yeah, that's great. It's also great when they realize that you're not your dad. So they're like, no, he's a good kid. That's a good kid Exactly. Oh, that's the worst when you get people were like They already have a thing about your dad in their head Yeah, yeah, it's not his fault goddammit There's a couple dudes I'd like to contact in like Oakland in the Bay area that are probably like well Your dad owes me around 2000 that's

Probably make everything cool for about 12k You think your dad's got some weird dance on something yes 100% I'm waiting for a guy named guy to call me and be like hey your dad Oh, it's me about not a grand for a thing. And I go, okay, whatever. Come on, guy. You don't have to settle those deadstand. You don't take that shit. Thank you, Ed. Thank you very much. But so when your mom passes away of diabetes in 2016, you kind of feel like, you know, it was the health care system that just kind of let her rot. You know, I feel like it was you know it was the health care system that is kind of letter rott you know i feel like it was everybody man you know america doesn't stand for

the government it stands for everyone who lives here yeah it seems to me like you get rewarded for the more people you fuck over you know it's a it's a you almost get up bonus you know it's like all by sign this guy up for enough credit cards and i think it would come christ time, I'm getting a bonus. You know, it's that kind of shit. And my mom was, you know, I hate to use this word, but she wasn't smart enough to realize

she was getting screwed. And she would sign up for everything. And then, you know, it happens to a lot of people. And so she just got more and more in debt with everything that happened until it became too late. You know, like she was a type 1 diabetic and the average cost for being a diabetic, Jay, you're going to need to know this me too. It's $16,000 a year to be a diabetic in America right now and on average and my mom was making $32,000. And so those numbers don't really have.

I'm sorry, yeah. Yeah, I mean, having that kind of cost on a thing like that, when you're charging people that much money for a thing they can't even kind of afford, puts them in a really shitty situation. And yeah, the thing that the most I think people are getting fucked right now is when you watch old people getting into gold. My friends dad and there's like a caught out of caught into former currencies. Yeah dude like old people are buying gold

and they're like getting a call. My grandma gets calls all the time and they're like hey give me $50 and I'll give you $ you ten thousand and she's like how rip your cock off and you're like man get him get the life insurance money from my mom uh... my best friends dad from back home is like get a bunch of silver coins for the middle of the box and put them under your bed he's like he's like an old jue who keeps like a gun on his hip you know running around poker with a is what i was guys a gun on his hip, you know, running around poker with his own. He's one of those guys. He goes, an investment is always an investment until you're counting the cash in your hands.

He has a Saturday night special. Keep this in your shoe. Literally live in like a banker in the old West. Hey, it's Big J. Overson and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8pm Eastern on Comedy Central Radio Series XM95 or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at 6M.

This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.