The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Living Legends (feat. Joe DeRosa & Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: July 22, 2021

Joe DeRosa and Ari Shaffir join The Bonfire as Jay presents full frontal nudity from HBO's Sex Life that no one can believe is real. The guys argue about which pro athletes they can take in a fight.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle

Hey, I'm Big J. Okerson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. It's the Bond Fire. We're back, everybody. Big J. Okerson joined today, of course, by the sandwich king of comedy, Joe DeRosa.

Also joining us right now, our dear friend, you can catch him this week in the governors and long island. That is this Friday and Saturday. Make sure you get your tickets over to rethegreat.com. It is, of course, the living legend, Ari should fear everybody. She's been an exaggeration, I'm not sure. Living legend? I just, you know, I've kind of walked through this legend for sure, but living.

What is living? What is this world we're in? What is living? A tapestry on a wall? Who knows? The love of a dog? I don't even know. It looks like just on the top of your shirt says Black Lives Matter, but it's not what it is at all. The love of a dog. I don't even know.

It looks like just the top of your shirt says black lives matter, but it's not what it is at all. Just black. Oh, I always put the keys. Oh, that's really a fanstive. Oh, God. I was with you. I was with you when I got this shirt, actually, it was right about it. Yeah, I know I always encourage my friends to buy It's right about it. Yeah, I know I always encourage my friends to buy Merchit concerts because I'll the shirt that we'd buy would never fit me So I'm like, oh such a cool shirt are you wear that so I know how cool that shirt is forever? Yeah, you should get it. You should get it Actually an excel and I wear it large usually and I think I might have like gone up a size just to not make you feel bad because you're over my shoulder

Oh Christine what size you know like I'm a little bit exome. Okay. Christine might know more, own more sixers and eagles clothing than me. Yeah. Yeah. None of it really fits me. Um, all that cool, like, hoodies and shit you can get from the stadium. I would buy it all.

I'd be that sucker. I'd be like, oh, $100 sweatshirt. Get in the fucking my life I Wanted to show you this thing are because I Think you're I think the three of us me Joe and are you three guys are gonna appreciate We're confident on masculinity enough to appreciate another man's Success have you found it Christine by any chance?

Have you found it Christine by any chance? Huh apparently on the show sex life on Netflix. I've heard this from a couple different sources. Did you see this Jacob at all? They reveal a White man's penis a full frontal nude shot on the show and for whatever remember I haven't seen it Since the first time I saw was there maybe a couple days ago I saw the picture somewhere, but I can't believe it didn't stick in my head to talk about it until I was reminded because this is impressive. Is it real? I think it's completely real, yeah. No talk about it, because it's not real.

Whoa, wow, look at that. It hangs down with gravity. I mean, dude. Oh, it's a huge holy shit. Good for you, man. That is, Jacob, how do you feel as you sit upon your weird throne looking down your nose at it? Yeah, you really this upshot Jacob makes you look pretty badass and evil to be honest. Yeah, to pet Jacob your thoughts. Have you ever seen anything like that?

Some monster penis. I've never seen anything like that soft for sure. Nothing like that. Well, Dan, what about you? Oh, oh, am I Dan? Is that the joke? That's what I'm with. I don't even, I just accepted it as. Sorry, I'm just slowing the pickup.

No, no, you weren't slowing the pickup. I didn't even realize you called you Dan until you pointed out all you did. Oh, okay. This is why it's, this is why I asked if it's real or not. That looks a lot like the dick at the end of Boogie Nights, which also looks tremendously real, but was fake. Yeah, you're right, a heavy down point.

Yeah, that looks exactly what the, it looked. This guy could have been down. You think you need to find another use for that, that same exact breast-dedic dick? Oh, we still got the dick left over from Boogie Nights. But why, what, but game would they have in a normal movie to have that big a cop? Why suit? I have to assume. It's safe to assume that the role of this guy was that he has an enormous cop. I don't want to watch the show, but that could be that could be. Well, it could be that it could

also be that they're asking him for full frontal nudity. And he's like, yeah, you're going to put a fucking prosthetic on me. So I don't feel like an asshole. But I mean, he could have put a prosthetic on that wouldn't have even been so I catch it. It's just what you get. This is awkwardly. I mean, that's a seven, eight inches of soft hang and it's thick. Thick enough that you know when it thickens up, man, that thing is gonna be a fucking croissant roll.

I wish we could all show our penises to each other right now. So I could get off my chest how small mine is compared to this thing. Like it's. Yeah, no, I really envy that man. I really envy that. Or he's happy with this. I don't know if anyone can relate to this with the big fat hog he's got on him. Oh yeah, Dan for sure can relate. But uh,

Dan has a heavy hog. I think so. Yeah, I think Dan's got a big fat. That's how we got the part on billions. Yeah, fat dick where they got like the casting couch dim, but then they were like, Oh, god, Dan, we were going to just abuse you and have you lead, but we want you around like, yeah, you don't have a voice that deep and sultry and rich without a fucking hog. Yeah, that thing's pulling down your vocal cords. Now heavy. Are you also? Actors male actors, they love, if they have a big dick, they, they are,

they tell the director immediately, I'll do full frontal. Exactly, dude. Anyone attracted. That's why you always see fucking Lena Dunham being new to the time. When you're that hot, you want everyone to see it? Well, it's like Lena Dunham says, when you got it, for it.

It's right, and she's got all of it. The most, the most admirable nudity thing I've ever seen in my life was on girls, and it was the ass eating scene. But like, and they said, not the one hot chick though, not the one hot chick. Well, because, because even and it was, it was the ass eating scene. But like, and they said the one hot chick though, not the one. Well, because because even though it was simulated ass eating, no two ways about it. This dude's nose and mouth is going into your round. And like, you got to be, yeah, if they put like, if they put one of those, uh, they put one of those corn

remover band aids over your actual bunghole. You're still I mean, you're definitely your nose is touching fucking asshole wrinkle. Dude, I pick up banded shit and I tie the bag into a knot and then sometimes I'm walking it with it to the trash can and then I'll have to like scratch my face so I'll just go like that and it just gets near me. I still smell shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's fresh. That's not even like ferment it just gets near me I can still smell shit. Yeah. Yeah. And that's fresh. That's not even like ferment.

There's no way you don't smell that fucking chick's ass. That is, that is, that is, that is a boner is not fake. No, that is a bold move, man. I was like, my hat's off to this chick, man. Jesus Christ. Oh, I mean, I've seen ball. I mean, I was a pretty prominent show, but I mean, it was bolder. I mean, fucking Chloe Simeige sucks off a guy and catches a load on the face.

Yeah, but it was your boyfriend though. At the time. It's still, she did it on camera in a movie. Yeah. Oh, God. Look at that. He is in. He's in.

Yeah. He is in there. That's a shit from get out. That's right. Yeah, I know what it's Brian Williams, Williams daughter who lie about being a Vietnam or whatever. Yeah, I never thought she was hot until I saw this scene and I was like, holy shit. I and I was like, then is he fucking in the ass or is he just? I think it's just doggy style. I think he's supposed to be in her coach doggy style. But I mean, he's no way. That's ass eating. That is ass eating.

I'll tell you what, all the acting in the world she was still Resistant to it a little bit like do you know I mean she was like she wasn't actually She would have been bent over more if she if she was I mean so say he's in there But like There no, you see my probably look where her hand worn his head was was she really had if she's wants to control as much as possible Yeah, the director's like shake your head around. Let her ask those are ask you clap and they have to go shit They have to go Allison if you keep pushing his head away, we're not gonna get the shot let him knows your asshole By the way, how nervous were they when they center the script for this episode? Hey

By the way, how nervous were they when they center the script for this episode? Hey, Al, did you have a chance to look at the new script for this week? Now this guy was all bad. What's the big deal? Yeah, they were going to tape his dick down no matter what. No matter what. And he just, so his punishment, his punishment for, uh, or his payment to get to suck this other actresses asshole. Did I see that actor shit is so stupid, but do you remember like the guys who used to work a stamp New York who were all

Actors the acting trick gorgeous bartender. Yeah, of course. Yeah, police. But like he would say like in his show He had to have like a boner in one of his scenes like naked with a boner was like the Like point of one of the scenes of like naked with a boner was like the, like point of one of the scenes of the play he was in. And he was like, yeah, one of the girls like that wasn't doing something of that moment, just kind of come like, you know, jack it off little or suck it just to get me ready for the scene. Like, dude, shut the fuck up. What universe are you in, asshole?

That is the good old days. Good old days. We could yell in a stage head. Hey, nance come suck me off. I gotta go on in a minute. I got you ready. Yo, it's Sue, Nancy, we're Sue. Sue, come over here.

Do me a favor, hiccup on this thing for a couple of sex. I'm trying to get out there. My scenes in a minute. Barb, Barb, you doing anything right now? No? Can you suck me real quick? Hey, guys, any hands might come in over here and chomping on this for a second. I'm trying to fluff up for the next down We're not gonna do that till later

Drop the fucking curtain rope and come over here and suck my shit Fuck that's so funny. I'm every other mr. Show. Well then suck that shit, bro. Yeah, oh man. I'm so my weenius is so hard Shit then Ari before you came on to we were talking about Well, we had two subjects go in there pretty fun bands who've stood the test of time and Change their music just enough to like carry through the elements. You two is one that no one said before they changed. They changed.

It's a very free for sure. That's still as good as ever. Yeah, still as good as ever. But we had like David Bowie did a lot of different kinds of shit. But then we got into for some reason Sean Anahe came up and we discussed that that is probably maybe the shittiest Like especially in retrospect version of music is like do white do-woppy Fucking a curl in the front of their hair, but yeah, I get I get actually angry when I watch Rocky That went went at that take it back

Wasn't that what just the b Gees were pretty much doing? Was that the version of Shana Na? The Bee Gees. No, that was straight disco. But the Bee Gees are the greatest, and I won't tell the story right now unless you guys want to hear it, but the Bee Gees are the greatest success shift in music history. As far as bands that genre shifted, they are the greatest of all success stories, like ever. And what were they doing before? Beaches. They were writers. They were just

writing. Beaches? No, they were a band. But they were doing, I started a joke and shit like that. And it was very like, it was very like sort of thematic and big, almost like, almost like a musical theater style stuff. And the label came to them. and big, almost like, almost like musical theater style stuff. And the label catered to them, they said, you guys are done, nobody wants to hear what you're doing anymore. And they said, why? And they said, because everybody wants to hear disco.

And they said, we'll do disco. And we'll do it better than anybody. And they said, no, you won't, we don't care whatever. They recorded and wrote, staying alive on their own dime, sent it out with a blank label to radio stations, radio stations started playing it. It becomes a hit. Nobody knows who the fuck it is. It becomes a hit. And then they reveal it's us, the Bee Gees, they get hired then to do Saturday night fever. And then they proceed to knock themselves out of the number one billboard position, five

consecutive times in a row. How great is that story? It is a great story by the way. Let me tell you why it's fake. I was going to say that sounds like a story though. At the end of it you go, what was the last sentence of it? And then it was a five consecutive times in a row. Five consecutive times in a row. Dave Broell told me that story. You put a cigarette you put a cigarette you go,

Dave Broell told me this story And the god and the guy playing any song of a band they don't know they're not just playing like they have to pay royalties They're not just fucking playing that shit no That we sounds like a legend that didn't actually happen. It's just like they do it flash dance people were dancing the aisles at the movie theater Oh really they were just getting up a dancing a movie theater here. I got to be honest as soon as I started Said telling that part. I was like this I'm gonna go make story It gets in your head when you're 19 like, God's crazy. Then we say that loud years later You're like, oh no way and then they put in the retarded kidney hit a grand slam home run

a grand slam home run. Yeah, you're right. I just got just for last coat of conduct. Do you remember that? Read it. Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. For the nasty show. Yeah.

Are you doing it, too? I'm hosted it. Stand. Oh, great. In order to accomplish our purpose, okay, welcome to just for last, a safe space for everyone attending the festival. Oh, Jesus. Everyone participating in the Just For Last Festivals

must treat artists, festival goers, and employees with the quality, respect, and dignity, no matter the gender, sexual identity, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, race, or religion. I'm already, I'm's gonna get me to. I mean, what's gonna, are you saying like you say something in the audience like, well shit, you got new titties,

show them titties as a joke. They're gonna fucking, they're not talking about comments. It's talking about off stage, which is where I'm gonna run into problems. Nothing in this policy would be interpreted as a barrier to artistic freedom. If you are the victim or witness of a prohibited act under this code of conduct involving the artist

and play, oh, right to this, oh, Jay, I'm gonna report you. Yeah. For sure. I already realized I'm gonna say I'm a witness to something terrible you've done. I'm gonna say I'm a witness to something terrible you've done. Having to like deal with it. Well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie to you.

I'm okay with that idea. I think that's a really funny idea. Yeah, I'm gonna say it's, I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm okay with that idea. I think that's a really funny idea. Yeah. It's nice. I'm going to write it seriously. And then when it comes back, my direction, you have to say that it was me that wrote that. Yeah. I mean, look, it's nice that they're putting in the line of this shouldn't inhibit in

any way artistic freedom, but it's coming from a festival that resides in a country where they literally to sue the cops. in any way artistic freedom, but it's coming from a festival that resides in a country where they literally to sue the cops for offending somebody on stage. Yeah, like, like how, how, I mean, I know you're not going to Montreal to do it, but it's still like, well, I don't know. That's a pretty flimsy verbal comments, actions or gestures that are repeated and hostile that affect a person's dignity. Oh, yeah, he did. So that's because our audience here won't be a bunch of French, a Frenchy-mose psychological or physical integrity. Yep, absolutely. Absolutely. You're getting reporter. Somebody is. I'm gonna I'm gonna figure out a way to make it real maybe

Wait, for real? Get somebody out of here. We really want to say this. Did you not say I'm a kike? Isn't this a fest this is a festival that uh uh what's his face at the step down from right? We did the story. Yes, Jeff president George. Yeah, Jeff. Uh singer. Yeah. Yeah So you say which will got you guys I'll tell you what I don't know if the guy could throw one in the end word or not I'll tell you this guy really fought for me to get on late night television. Yeah. You guys, I'm good to say it, but somebody people are upset with.

Say we will. Guy let me 20 bucks when I need it the most. Who's coming down with you to who's coming down with you to governors? It is. I wonder if I can say no. I guess I can. It's going to be renazz easy. He is going to open for me. Oh, no, he lives out there.

I'm going to go stay with him. We'll go fishing. Do some fun shit and see the family. And then that's fun. Yeah, I'm going to join last week. So I couldn't say anything. But, um, yeah, you're doing a levitown. Levitown.

Yeah, one and only true governors. That's cool. That's gonna be a great show Yeah, I got a roast for the next day on Sunday and I was like gonna make it our ship air friends Then I've just like got to laser to ask people so I'm like I'll just headline everyone's excited. Yeah, everyone's excited for you and In I was just a spokane they're excited for you there. Oh, that place. Cool. They're cool. They're cool crew, uh, crew of, uh, weight staff and stuff. And they do like to sacrifice things. They had this weird sacrificial day where they just like, I guess there, I don't know if you do a Thursday show, but like they find some mouse usually or something and they fucking have this weird ceremony. They're all in on it. They know

it's a joke, but like they killed that thing and it's fucking, there's some wicking, you know, those tattooed waitresses, the type to able to wick and so yeah, yeah for sure You go along with it when you see tight bangs when you see tight bangs or maybe a bandana tied around the top of the head Yeah, I think anybody would have tattoo as a witch You're a tattoo. You're a goddamn witch Get away from me you witch You're dead too. You're a goddamn witch. You can't get away from me. You witch. Great.

Buddy insult to say somebody get away from me. You witch. I like you're new to New York. You never see. Get away from me. You witch. Don't put your spell on me with your tattoos. What does that mean? I still do. Joe, you remember, I mean a million years ago, 20 years ago, you were hooking up with a girl had a piercing right in the center of her chest. Yeah, over the cleavage piercing. It was a weird place for it. But she was like flat chest, it wasn't she?

No, no, she had a nice boobs, but she had like a piercing in between her boobs, like where the, it was weird. It was weird, it was a weird piercing. Is that the one that screamed out Joe DeRose as fucking me? No, no, that was the lady at the, strangely enough, at the Montreal comedy festival. What? The first year ever went, uh, police tell our, that's the word, I'm sorry. I went the first year going with the Montreal and I did new faces. There was a, there was a reporter at new faces covering the show and I hung out with her after and we, we started drinking and whatever. Then I ended up sleeping. We had sex and while we're having sex, I was on the top of her

version. She goes like that. She goes, Joe, Joe, Joe, the Rosa is fucking me. I was like, God, I guess I made it. So fucking funny. Just telling you what is happening. I see that she's talking into a wire. Joe the Rose is fucking me. He is pumping at a medium pace. Now would be the time to break into the other room and steal his pants. The fence come in To the rules is fucking me and I am 12 I am 12 years old Yeah, that was wild I really thought I had arrived in show business boy was I fucking wrong Screamy a sexual screaming showboat. No, I can't get into it. I know it's fake. I know it's fake

I don't like that while yeah, yeah, it's gotta be fake you can't you can't You don't know I wasn't to be fucking Leonardo DiCaprio and lose it in that moment I don't mind constant noise and I don't mind I don't mind constant noise and all that shit just like not when it's over when you're like okay Get a fucking grip like you don't have to do this constant noise and all that shit just like not when it's over when you're like, okay, get a fucking grip. Like you don't have to do this. You don't have to make it so everybody can hear this.

Trees told me that he knew somebody that fucked Buster Rhymes and he's and I'm a big fan of Buster Rhymes, but he said, well, he was fucking the girl. He just goes, yeah, that's that buster dick. A lot of the guy giving credits to himself during the sex. That's amazing. That's American psychoshoot. Dude, I hooked up with a chick the same year. I'm not sure you all that you met your lovely wife. And and we she was coming over to the hotel room.

So I like how to pee or clean up my dick or whatever. And so I like probably door open with that with that latch, you know? Yeah. And then so she's like knocks and opens it up and I'm like, Oh, hey, and then we just immediately start going at it, you know? And then just like all over the fucking hallway into the room and just like wild sex. And it's just like choking and screaming or whatever. And then like, I mean, it was like, it was just like one of the great sessions, you know?

And I don't always fuck that well, but I did that day. And then I went to the bathroom afterwards. And then the fucking latch had not latched. So it not. So it was just open by like six inches and we were just screaming into the hallway. Nice. Nice. Nice. That's great. You had, you had, you had romantic comedy sex between the two characters that hate each other for the

first half of the movie. And then they finally fall in the middle of the movie. It takes an excessive amount of time, like kick the calf, see your pants off. You're going down the rimside out and you're having a hard time just getting those last little bits off your feet. I've fallen. You see this fall to you triple butt. Share well different levels of clothing coming off all the way.

Yeah. One of the great sessions. That's a nice compliment, I think. One of the great sessions. Yeah, I know we're just going gonna shot up you just going like, as you're staring, just go, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Me? No, Jacob.

Oh, Jacob, yeah, go ahead, Jacob. Yeah. You want me to say, you'd like that. Well, we got a couple of lines. I'd like you to say, you are all my children now. Okay. You really want me to say that? You're not so evil. Okay. You really want me to say that? So evil. Please. You're all my children now. Damn. And I'll say you would like that, wouldn't you? You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Whoa, that was a good one, Jacob. That was a test. That ringtone. Jacob did some summer stock. Oh, really? It's your time. I mean, that last one sounded like it was said by a man who makes and collects knives. I mean, that's, you know, that was right on the money. Thank you. Yeah, chicken's about a way about a golfer they were talking about and then on air at

some podcast or radio show and the guy was like, I don't like that guy. Why, why are you saying, why are you telling me that? And it reminded me of Jacob's mortal enemy because he's in the NASCAR world because he's such a huge fan of the other guy. I forget all of me Kyle Bush. Kyle Bush. He's the one that hates you or you're a busher. Kyle Bush. Kyle Bush hates Jacob because he's fucking. Oh, he hates Joey Lugano. Yeah, I don't know if he hates me. He just chumped Jacob on his thing. Just fucking dismissive. I was asked. I didn't like it at all. I didn't like it. I like to fucking get my hands on that hillbilly if I'm being

honest. Yeah, punches wife and her fucking freckle fake suntan tits. It's the only way to teach you hillbilly is to punch the wife. Yeah, punches wife and her fucking freckle fake suntan tits It's the only to teach you hillbilly is to punch the wife Yeah, well that you're well that and that's time where you're taking what's his do you know? I mean Mm-hmm. It was anybody can hit me goes, but only I hit my wife and I'm gonna fucking show that motherfucker What's up? And you don't even be drunk when you do it Jay? She'll never be hit like that. Yeah, you don't know another man's lawn. You don't know another man's mother fucking lawn. You know, she's gonna get hit. You're like, oh, never been hit so good. Yeah, I wonder if there was a sports.

If there was a sport outside of bowling, the obvious, where you had to fight one of the athletes, you picked NASCAR. No fucking way. I would, I would take tennis over NASCAR any day of the week. You're nuts. You can't you can't beat up any Roda you fat fuck You're out of your mind one second that's not what the question was there you into submission That's not what the question was the question was if you had to pick a guy you had to fight from a professional, professional sport, which sport would you be? I picked tennis because I don't think that those guys are really throwing bows.

That's all. Outside of a John Mackin row, you know? I mean, come on, you know? That's what I'm for circles around you. You get to do pizza and stuff. I'll fuck your shit up so bad. Probably. Crush you.

Probably, but I'm not saying, NASCAR, you're nuts. They're like, they're like, you don't think their backhand is, it take them bracket out and get hit with one They're 100 miles an hour. They fucking top punch you. They're hillbilly guys, but they're the dubious of the hillbilly guys now Do I'm telling you they're the fat-faced Fucking like they shave and they're they listen to fucking new country music. They're fucking pussy's do you? I'm telling you and when it's the dorks of the hillbillies now

They're doing the driving when they fight you they're gonna grab your lapels. They're not gonna swing All right, I have a different I have a different Joey Lugano came in and came into our show And I'll tell you what I'll tell you something Joe right now. I fucking wish you would have tried something Just wait before to say something. I was waiting for one false move so I could drop this guy. But he fucking I'll tell you what, he minded his manners. He showed his respect and he paid tribute. I appreciate that. I'm gonna pick a different sport. Male ice skating. I would pick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then you get to commit a hate crime at the same time. It's the way you're right. It's true. Yeah, that's a real two for Tuesday right there. Yeah.

It's real two for Tuesday. Okay, I got for over. I take a golfer over a nasty. I'll do not now, dude, not now. I'm telling you now there's young now there's young super in shape. Dude, at his, at his height, Tiger Woods was fucking yoked. I mean, jacks, like M&M. Jay shredding. And to be exceptions to every monster cock. Remember his cock picture, Joe?

It was, yeah, yeah. Upsettingly big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's gonna be exceptions to every rule, but all golfers do is walk around grass and sip iced tea. And I'll take one of them. No, they do that, Joe. And then they work out.

I keep swinging the fucking club. They just have the machine helps you. Like you just swing that. That's right. That was way bigger than Tiger. That white guy's dick is fake. I'm telling you it's fake. That's a true big dick.

That white guy's got to speak by the way, two, not so long. Tiger Woods' dick requires so much fucking internet to do it. We almost lost Joe. I don't know if you guys heard of it. Joe's microphone went wacky because Tiger Woods' dick is taking up all the internet. Tiger Woods' dick is so big. He has to plug in his phone to take a picture of his own. He's Too much battery It takes that so funny. Let me plug my phone. It's gonna take a minute to upload

Dude he yeah dude he got he got great shape and a massive cock and crush and tons of pussy Now golfers are fuck you like you know, I want to be a But I give you saying you take you taking the one got offer. Yeah in general. I'm staying overall you be John daily up I don't know John daily. No dude. No way he would beat you up while smoking a cigarette John daily's a moose He's a moose Oh, you don't know if you don't know if you don't know you'd watch the 30 for 30 for 30 for 30 on him I can already tell you it's gonna be amazing that guy Having with draws on on the putting green. Just going to get it.

We're putting a drink. Yeah, he had a drink to finish around. Is it awesome? Right. Do you smoke cigarettes? He smokes cigarettes on the from whole to whole. Oh, that's great. That's right. Yeah. So red neck and just could drive it a mile. Yeah. this guy looks awesome. I mean, you know, but it's, but he won, he won like a biggie at some point. Yeah, he went, came out of nowhere and won the masters and then I think he won another major. Look at the pants and the gut. He just doesn't give a fuck this guy.

I respect this. He doesn't give two shit, dude. He looks like he should be everlasting. He does. He looks like the old ever-lady. Aaronic Mullet. Then you're really bad.

No, go to the one in the middle there. Top, top, right. Yeah. It looks like ever last. Yeah. Oh God, I'm bringing from a kidney tovazin. He was a dove. And golf.

How many of us play it? It's a golf. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. That's really. Yeah. He's a watch, watch a documentary on him, Joey. That was fantastic. Trending of other sports. I would never want to fight a rugby guy ever. Soccer would kick. Oh, way, you'd be out of your mind. Oh, another you would never want to fight a rugby guy ever soccer would kick no way you'd be out of your mind Oh another you would never want to fight is a UFC fighter I'm joking. I'll be slick except the chicks. I'll kick the shit out of it. I'll say have a straw a straw weight a straw weight female fighter no Too up the way that the jouster beat up the mountain for a

fracking of a few minutes in the game of thrones. Oh, okay, like, you'd chop the tree down slowly. Yeah, she would just dance around your tagging you up until you got a little weaker. This is why I can't catch a wrist, dude. I'm gonna do that thing like I'm gonna do an incredible Hulk did the Loki. You're gonna take a wrist right away. Just squeeze it lightly with two fingers.

I'll tell you this. Snap it. This is why you do it. This is why you never want to fight a professional. It's that you just bang, bang, bang. This is why you never want to fight a professional female fighter. Okay. Because they're strong as shit.

Obviously, they know how to fight. Obviously, but then also a male fighter would just clock you, dead in the face and knock you out. And you'd draw a female fighter would do something to you that would make you go, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, you know what I mean? She would reduce you to such a long-

Oh, you have to be saying, that's like a thousand kicks to your leg that eventually crack your shinbone. You'd be like, I'll stop it, please stop it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, be like, I'll stop it, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm going deadfoot. I'm going deadfoot. Oh, no.

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