The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Lone (feat. Steve Rannazzisi)

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Steve Rannazzisi visits on a day that Bobby reveals a sad film he made called "Lone." The gang critiques his art.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. If you're a comedian who goes looking for overseas fame, your life's such shit. I want to do it. I want to do it. You told me to.

You told me to. You told me to. I'm doing it. Just for huge, ranaz easy fans. I would go there and just be like, the king of a village. I just went about there for a hot residency. I was like, babe, hold down the fort. I'm like a lot of time for three months eight little lives walking around Yeah, I create a new life there. Oh, yeah, as we all get older the career were all jealous of

Vic de bed at that O Yeah, Rob, I was like I could make a gazillion dollars not travel more than two hours in a direction of his life Everywhere he goes. It's like within the Tesla charge, super charged, where he fucking lives, dude. And he's always on the road. He's got like eight houses. Travels 15 miles a day. He drove a bus four years ago.

Yeah, it's crazy. That's the career we all want. I don't know if I can help on a plane to Phoenix. I'm happy to be in Phoenix. I know. I just don't want to go to Phoenix. I'm happy to be in Phoenix. I know. I just don't wanna go to Phoenix. Just one video away on Instagram. Right now.

Yeah. Look at that world. You're like a local hero. This is the Bonfire Faction Talk Series X and one of the three on Big Joke, or Sin that's Robert Kelly. Hi, how are you? We got the whole gang here

and sitting him as everybody, especially guys first time on the show. Absolutely. Very excited to have you. One of the funniest fucking human beings in the world, world of me bad. I can hang with him all day Thanks so far to everyone the hilarious. Oh, oh, oh, you know, hilarious not Robert Kelly But the great Steve Rennaz easy. Thank you very much for having fellows. This is awesome such side to be here such a good hang Yeah, I just got a text from my producer for YKW Danny

Braff. Oh Danny. You know Danny. Yeah. Yeah. Autistic Danny. He always tries to get people on my show. He sends me a text message right now. I don't even know what he's talking about. He sends me this text message. Right here. Where is it? Here we go. Just has a 12-year-old girl on the street, she wanted to be on a show. Hey. Cops here. Not good. I see the food fighter to do an SNL this week was wondering if you would like to come by asking Dave

if he would be interesting in coming on YKWD with Robert Kelly while he's in town. Dave Grohl. Dave Grohl. He's the first name basis with him. Dave. And then he goes, I'd love to see him do YKWD, but yeah, that's not my thing.

I can likely get Robert on the guest list for the show, sometime but booking stuff. I'm confused. I'm confused. I'm confused on the, the, the, who do you send the ear to what's this being read in? He's trying to get Dave Grohl on YKW Dave. But who do you think out to?

He's talking to Dave Grohl. No, no, no. He's showing you a message with him and Dave Grohl. Yes. On what? I'm not good at radio. So can you relax? I know.

I know you are. But he sent you your tone is very dawn right now. He sent you a picture. He sent me a picture of the text. I said the text with him in the April. How do you get a whole day grow? So I go, he said no to the podcast. No, no, no.

What? How does Danny get a hold of the day, bro? New a friend of his who tore us with him. Got it. So he said no to the podcast, but if you ever want tickets to, he will get you ticks to the show. To a fruit fighter show show and I'm right

I don't even I didn't read all of it. I just read you know Guy said known in my podcast. I go who is that he goes lead singer of the food fighters Right Dave girl. Yeah, he tried to get Dave grow on YKWD. That's great KWD. That's great. That's great. I mean, it's great. It's a rich, right? Yeah, totally. It's an extreme that you never come to fruition, but I mean, wait a second. It's awesome. No, no, no, no. But if you want a bit, that's what you want to produce it. It do, right? Yes, for sure. I mean, yeah, I guess. Do you think I'm on the bonfire in Sweden, sex? Whoa. Yeah. Hang on. Well, let me think I've, we've never talked shit before because that's come back on us before We don't really you didn't break Michaels. Oh shit. We were making jokes about him and then because he was in the lobby And then he agreed to come in and then he came in and he was

No, Jay you're telling wrong. He was booked on our show. Oh man. The both he got so insecure No, I believe. Not true. No, we walked in. He was being interviewed by Adi Trunk in the fish bowl. And so we came in here and I started making my first complaints always. Why does series six had never give us guests or let us know these people coming in?

Bob and then went on to make fun of Brett Michaels for about 20 minutes. Then I think black Lou went out there and they were like, guess what? Brett Michaels is going to come in and they were like guess what bremichels he's gonna come in and we're like oh cool you got to take up back all those wig jokes that he yes made a lot of wig jokes that he came in to jokes so does said that uh... he's out there they're lowering his bandan and hair onto my daughter fader sell

that that are under rickie to get him a new band. I really Sorry, I got him a new bandanis for this mic stand. So he came in and he was just a, I mean, a doll of a human being. He offered Lou, he goes, buddy, I see you wear a met set there. This is all swear to God.

You wear a met set, my friend's the owner of the met. He goes, me and you were gonna go, I'm gonna take you next time I go down there, you get to walk around the grounds, the fields, man. I like you guys. You guys are gonna have the catch with the players. I like catch with the players. Whoa, like a sick kid.

He tells me and me and Dan, he goes, look, we're doing this party, girl. Like this little mini tour thing or this festival, this summer. I want you guys to be like the radio show like out there like doing if you guys want you guys broadcast live. We're like holy shit and poison tickets for life and poison tickets for life. It came back in and I think he left and then sent somebody else back in

to get everyone's name to make sure we all stay friends. He's a good guy. And then he took those names and shoved it under his wig. He looked at Jacob and say you look cold Man, he took his wig off his head Put this on keeps me warm. He went out there and his manager who listened went those people are not your friends And then told them all the things we said about his bald head about his bald head. Ah!

I love how he had a, those people are not your friend. He was our best friend when he left here. Dude, he was having a catch with Lou and I don't know what he feels right. Look at the photo! You guys are pals. Oh my god. Oh. He's really delightful.

Look at Dan. I've never seen Lou in the photo. Oh man. He never gets in the photo. He's so ex we were all, he's an icon. Wow. Wow. But the hair definitely comes with a band down in the photo. He never gets in the photo. He's so ex we were all, he's an icon. Wow. But the hair definitely comes with a band down the head. God.

What are you gonna do? I mean it's his fault, he kept making a lot of promises to us. Those guys are not your friends. Those guys are not your friends. He could have let it go, let it go, man. It was a girl manager. Oh yeah, it was a girl manager. Yeah, we were two Yeah, they can't do

We were two diligence. They can't wait to tell Gabin bitches But yeah, damn it came in. I mean when he left we were all like we went to commercial We were like wow, man. Yo, he Yo, and then all of us starts hitting you. Same thing would have McCory felman. Yeah, that would happen It's gonna start hitting you then it goes. do you know what, when it all came down, it'll go, I bought, look what the catch rag did when it came out.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I've loved all, I mean poison was like a band. That was like big in my life. And I just meant Brett Michaels. And we're probably gonna go vacation together at some point. But you're like stupid mouth guys.

You're in trouble. You're stupid. You're stupid. That fuck mouth. Just shoved up my own ass again. Bobby, just to go back to the beginning in the show, because I really want to find this short film, but the only thing I can find is the YKWD where you talked about the short film from 2019.

You started driving traffic over the rules of the podcast. I don't do it on the show. I don't do it on the show. No, dude, not at all. I would never drive traffic over to, you know, a dude podcast. Now available on. What was the name of the movie loser? no there not at all i would i would never drive traffic over to you know what did parkest uh... now available on what's the name of the movie loser no u-s uh...

he was a loser the movie is called loan all of those losers bobby was eating himself to death and i got a lot of that was that i think i see so the water bobby wants to and i think i'd like to get a god little with a separate boat just holding on Tied to the other boat Bobby at his own boat

The guy's one of those guys in one boat and Bobby sitting in another I'm trying to try to Sorry Bobby don't let go I don't know about it on jay To a god the love me and the you I never talk about I'm doing this is beyond me. No dude, it's probably a great film. Come on dude. I didn't see it now. Buddy, I'm sure this is a fair, fair, fair.

He's a film. He all done them. Ari and I did one called the facts. And we got facts for the future. Yeah, it was a little stupid but a little stupid. I'm not sure if it's a fair, but I'm sure this is a fair, fair, fair. I'm sure this is a fair, fair, fair, fair. I'm sure this is a fair, fair, fair, film. He all done them.

Ari and I did one called the facts. And we got facts for the future. Yeah, it was a little stupid, but a little serious. But it was like a film. I had a serious short film idea when I was younger that I thought was so brilliant. And I thought about it again recently. I'm like, thank God I never like, but I did.

I took it to too many people. Whoever my manager was, time to be like, this is a real traumatic piece of work. There's this fucking shit dumb fucking hacky idea. And I was like, yeah. I know. And I was like, this is so, well here's the thing. Didn't Dane cook come through with it?

Didn't he do like a short where he was like going mad? He did spiral. Spiral. What? Yeah. He did eight guys, which is a comedy, but then he did spiral. And that was, and then he would have power about to go where they come forward. Oh, man. We lose it. We really lose it. We can fall off the rail. Big time. We do crazy shit.

I'm trying to find this. I don't know if I want to find it right now here. Is this it? Nothing look forward to nothing look back on dude Here in a gauntlet to call my bro This is probably about an hour drive for cook or bake it or something So much water for Cocoa Banker himself. So much water. You know they say the Santa's occupation, the Talboos collective in Seattle.

It looks like Spiral's been wiped from the internet. Oh man. Dude, you got rid of it? It exists. A dark edgy and controversial film. About his demons. His inner demons. I swear to you.

Oh my God. I swear to you, was my to you was my short my short 99 what demons did he have at 99? My short film was the same exact story. I think my short film idea was just the same idea goes On the outside of this, but on the inside of screaming to get it It was so like my art student deal that screaming to get it. It was so like art student. Mind has no words. Oh, mine is all visual. How do we know it's over? It says Finn on the screen.

What you released it on Bobby. A Bobby Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly.

Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. I think I did put you put it on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook or anything. I think I thought it was on maybe L YouTube. This is where the world feels my sadness. Did you guys make a short film with like a pillowcase head man? That was pure stupidity for fun.

I was me Tony Roberts and Marshall Brand and 20 some years ago went out to not not USO shows, they were military shows overseas, but just for like, it was like BET's comic view. Okay. It wasn't comic view, but it was just like the black circuit. Got it. It was putting on their own shows for the troops too.

It wasn't USO. Mm-hmm. And they, one of the gigs in between gigs where the last ones we were to do was to do Amsterdam, Amsterdam comedy cafe, and they had a condo for us all to stay in and there was no TV in this condo. We had no money We were really at Burger King every meal. It's how broke we were We had no money and no entertainment at all. There was no TV in the place

So we had a camcorder and we would make stupid videos during the day and watch them at night. Not as much as she was referring to. So that's a different thing though. This wasn't meant to be like, you know the world, I think this is funny. We're watching it like isn't this fucking stupid? We made the music videos in the apartment

like to the song Two Joints by Sublime. Which I didn't even know this song at all. It was just a CD that was in the apartment. Really? And we just like made a fake music. It just like to kill time. I might thought the short film I wanted to make would have been me showing people going like, this is what's in my heart. Yeah. How? Oh, or at least 20s when I first like I think Isabella was just born. What's the, not Google Drive, what's the Apple one? What's that called? Apple Cloud? I Cloud.

That's it, okay. Is that where you think it's living in the cloud? It might be, it might be. What do you use type in in search? Loser, right? That's the, that's the, that's called loon. Oh, all right, which is a loon. Loon loser.

If you're loon though, have you? The most. The most about the loon loser. What was it called again? All right, which is a loan loser if you're low no have you What was it called again? I Lose the iPad the clock low loud. I really am upset that Dane cooks short film is not available spiral He's a little river bands, right? Sounds like Chicago. They are. Perfect harmonization. What's going on in that time?

I want the guy I'm the love. You got no one love you. I say that whenever I'm listening to, when I'm gonna kick and really enjoying, like 80s pop music in the card, I'm gonna kick with it. Good ones go on the radio. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da I'll get into a jag with that for a while. And I think to myself, man, how limp dick.

I think to myself, I'll be like, how am I ever like in depressive, like sad moods and so on. And when's the time to listen to like, tool in all this, like this is music, man. It gets you up and it gets you move. And then when you're bumbed, you're like, why do I ever want to listen to electric youth by Debbie Gibson ever in my life?

Once the situation where it's ever a cool time to listen to that. This isn't appropriate. It's odd. And that was both at once. Kidnapped as rallies. Can't have time for Debbie Gibson. How moss are killing themselves at this point?

I'm gonna have to, I can't find it right. Should we just, do you have a script? We can reenact. It was actually free form. I filmed it. Oh, dude, I'm, it opens up me, can I describe it? Sure, there's paint and flute playing. I'm lying in the bed of the hotel.

And I get up in the, so basically the, I get up in the, so basically, I'm looking around the room at photos in the room of stuff. Like that's in the town. Like there's a painting of the gondolas in town. There's a painting of this. And then I went out and did it.

So it's just me waking up, looking out the window, this big window in my hotel. And then I'm looking around the room at these things. But then it cuts. It cuts to me on the gondola. It cuts to me in the park. All these paintings, I went to it and did it. And I'm walking around. But then it cuts back and I was just in the room and I never left and I lie back in bed and I shut the car.

Oh, you know what song should have played for that? The song that while a camera was staring at the painting in Ferris Bueller's Day off, just wish you had been playing over it. A thoughtful Bob, he goes, and then I live it, springtime. It's bad, but it's great. Were you like when you did it, you like, and I was alone?

You didn't run it by anyone like, hey, it would be funny if I, this would be better if the button would be if I actually showed myself that I never actually left. Like, did you run that button by anyone at the- Oh, I was alone. I don't know if you got the title of the movie. It's called Loon. Loon? Loon? Loon?

No, not Loon. Loon? Loon? Loon? Loon? It's lone. Dude, it's bad. Wow, it's bad. You're not out of picture, you're bubbling out over a balcony. Yep, and then there's the river going by and just sees people having fun. A family. And yet here I am lone. Oh, I could be in the water. But instead I stand here, lone. When, when, but at the beginning it says, lone, and it has the definition of lone under it.

Oh my god, what the top doesn't have like English, like from the Latin. Oh boy, I gotta find this now. And it's like LOWW. I could have been outside. Maybe sometimes I dream about going out there. But instead, I stand here alone. I gotta find it alone. I gotta find it.

Yeah, you mean alone? No, just alone. I can be alone alone. No, I sit here alone The words alone No, I sit here alone waiting by the phone I should have wrote alone Did I really go outside? It wasn't all a dream

I think I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said I said there's a boy inside me trying to escape. I did send it to my manager and he was like like didn't know what. Burn all copy with it. Yeah. No he will send it to you. He stopped managing me. They got to tell you it's good he goes this is good.

We should have like you know if this is something you want to get into Yeah, we should talk about you so and so no no no He said it was great. No, he didn't say it was good at all he walked away from you forever He didn't respond. I like I had a like hey, did you get that that one of those oh Jesus? Yeah He goes yeah, I figured maybe eating get back to me because you were off talking to the The awards so second trying to get it in before awards cut off. Did you mention to the people at the gondola like, Hey, I'm making a movie out of this. So maybe like, this is on the

arm. Like, I was, I mentioned you guys, you know, charge me for the ride, you know, like, I get a free god. By the way, you had to do it. You had to do it. No speaking parts were also here. The fucking gondola guy talking the entire time. Oh, that is our best to buy. And it is a Chipotle. Hey, can you do that without doing the actual talking

like you get this? You put on this curly mustache, go on the driver. The cry on goes on the bottom friars, gaundless, 626, 626. We're available for parties on the list uh... what i bring it up you make a no sense you're not alone now the words long ago that's a set up here with you and that alone

not yet i'm alone i'm alone christine wants this oh for sure you know maybe you can say that christine'sening because I'm gone and she'll be lone Christine's having a lone weekend

This this is gonna be so much worse when you see it. I know no words no no no no. I'm alone. How many minutes is it the music is royalty-free sad music The music is royalty-free sad music. So it's like Cameron, yeah. That's probably in public domain. I figured if I could, oh, wait a minute. Could we reset it to different music? Could we try it from like Thriller or something? I don't on YouTube or anything, you didn't put it anyway.

I put it on YouTube, but I think I might have taken it off. Did you all because it was too gay? Did you remove it from their fraction standards? But I think I might have taken it off Their fraction standards Can you take this down? It's pretty gay. We're not opening our name. We're not trying to cram it down people's throat. All right Hey people have killed themselves watching this video. We take it down. There's got to be somebody who saw. I can't find it. This is killing no one commented like It's good to ring video tape. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen If you watch here coming in Bobby's throne if you watch it all the people in your life die

You are now cursed to be alone Christine will not give it up. No, but look what comes up when you do Robert Kelly alone Please get lonely Lonely and home alone all are Kelly jokes jokes. All right. Patreon. Is it on my patreon? It might be get me people pay for that You want him to really have the good on me you're gonna have to pay for that shit It's gonna cost you seven bucks a watch the shit on this old asshole. What definition did you use of loan?

There's three. Let me see. Board and stand for it. Where is it? I don't know. You got to scroll. That is a three. Which one says the press come of to come a van?

I think this was pre max. Um, I think it was, no. You're most so excited. It was boasting, John. Dad, I saw it in this disturbing video online. That's why you took it down. He goes, this is when you miss my version of it. Listen, you gotta go in the seasons are right. You're not gonna get a good gondola shot.

I can't do this in the winter. You should head, kiddo. God damn it, I can't find it. Oh man. I'm looking though. One day, Bobby walks alone. Just promise me, if you ever redo it, alone reducks, can I play the gondola guy? Yeah redo it alone Redux can I play the

Funny I play the con the look at us time. Here's what we do everybody has to Read you the movie, but you have to play me That's great. I have to see yours first See it I can't Terrible how do I pay homage? I haven't seen the original loan Christy wants this so bad so bad my wanted to live on our Instagram I'm looking man All right, I'm looking guys. I'm sorry. I'm so apologize to me I'm sorry to apologize to your family when this starts seeing light of day.

Should I bring on my beef right now that I had from our experience while you do that? Yeah, let's bring it up. I got a beef with you. Okay, I don't know if you want to do your beef or I could do my thing and then you while you're looking. I should definitely do my beef before you see the movie loan. Okay. All right. My boot, I'm not going to have any legs to stand. All right. Once loans start making a circuit. That's it

It can't believe I can't believe you and Dan Never caught on the loan. I can't believe it. I mean we got you probably cleaned it probably we didn't catch you dressing like Like cupid for on cameo for 25 hours a month like Cupid for on cameo for 25 hours of all you did put an end to that you did put it out you saved me you were dressed like Cupid he was too

much time with the wife he was home too much too much she's got an idea she goes you know what your fans will love if you dress up like Cupid at your heaviest oh no I haven't nipped hanging out at your absolute heaviest and And wear like a little thing and a little finger on your head. Dude she made you. Yeah, she made listening me

She went to the craft store. How did you not break down the cameo at your cell? Enjoy while I look for low. Oh my god. This is it Well, they always say this is the trailer for low God, this is it well, they always say this is the trailer for loan Did you want to know how long got made? This is this is what started me on the fucking progress like a tool up in front of your family. This is the Bts. It saved me from loan. It is what saved you from loan.

I mean, it's a good costume when we go on a farm. It's a holy shit, Bobby. I'm a bear. I'm the jerk off party. You know, that sounds pretty weird when you say Kelly Clark, Kelly Clarkson's lighting stand in. Bobby Mama bear Your name is flounder we saved Bobby for himself a little too much family time for a minute there damn dude He had no one evening him out Keith had a stroke. He couldn't get the words out Bobby Bobby him out. Keith had a stroke. He couldn't get the words out. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Yeah, this is your heating pad look what he's doing wow look at him. Oh, he's putting so much How long do you do cameo? So I do cameos too, but mine are like a minute and a half I was well I actually I charged $200 now. Oh, yeah, I charge 150 and I don't need to I do I do I very I very rarely do them anymore

Well, I mean I was doing I would go from 25 I mean this is like doing 25s for hand jobs. Yeah, I know you're a high-priced hooker. Yeah, I made $400 I mean, this is like doing 25s for hand jobs. I know you're a high priced hooker. I made $400. I mean, there's so many of them. Wow. There was a lot of people wanted to see Bobby and theCUBE, but I mean, I probably would have as well. But I was thinking about that.

They called me as they're watching it, and one thing with me, I will own my horseshit. And they caught me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I heard it in the me, I will own my horsehit. And they caught me, me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I heard it in the background and it hurt. I mean, my heart, I was with, I think I was with my wife. And I was always, I was hitter. When you found out this, no, no, wasn't,

I'll take exactly what it was. We were trying to call you to make you answer for this. And then when you weren't answering at all, and then Christine at that point had sent you a screen cap of this and said, we need to talk. That's what you wrote. Call the mom, we need to talk. And then Bobby answered when we called and he goes, hello, he was, hey, I'm doing a podcast with Ari, sitting right in the story.

And we're on the phone with him on the show and we go, you look at your phone it all he goes now. Why I look now And then he goes he goes I'm gonna call you back in two minutes And they finished their podcast and he called back and what was the rest of that podcast like you're just like yeah Nothing they were very mean while you're just in your head like oh what do I have the damage? I have to repair I love those things. I do my patreon. I do love those things though like Ari Has the the Sam Adams commercials that everyone did the very Or it's like is like you know what this next drinks about something dude and that's something is Brian Redban You want to hear mine mine is I did a movie called

Alone to no it was worth it. It was It was a hold on What the hell hold on I gotta look at my own it's my own fucking Everybody after my shit, right and I was like no one's ever gonna hire this company's like We're gonna get this guy for the cheap. And it was me and Simon Rex. And we went down to Shreeveport, Louisiana. And I played a superhero who had lost his superpowers.

And I ran around in a, in a, in a, play, you played Dane Cook. But it was, it's worth, what is my phone? It was called, Christine, you know, the IMDb Steve. The, not the Avengers, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, far, the, the, the, the, some, the farce wars. Okay.

Something the farce wars. It was like the Avenger, not the, it couldn't be the Avengers, obviously, but like, I, I, I, what the real Avengers, it was one of the parody movies. Yeah, it was like, what the hell? I was like, in the scary movie, like the slapstick movies like those. Yes. We'll find it. We'll find it everybody.

We got it. This is good radio. Can you, well, I think I found a loan. Oh, it's called loan. It's called loan and I think I found it. It's, here it is, I got it. You, oh my god, I have it. I have it.

Yes. I have it. How long is it? It's called loan. It's only a couple minutes long, but I have it Christine I don't know how to play it Avengers of justice. It's on my Patreon just take it just click the pull down Avengers of justice The I'll be honest with you the ratings are not You're super bad. Yeah. What are you? Yes? Super best the farce wars

This movie was it's so bad Amy smart Shawn Michaels. Yeah Shawn Michaels give us the good old chin music Avengers of justice Look at that wow yeah wow I look look at that dude I have no I mean Jesus Christ yeah Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, what the? Bro, it was so, yeah, so low budget, so low budget, we fired the DP the second week. And they were like, we're just going to continue to do the movie without a DP.

Like that's how bad this movie was. Roll. Who cares? Christine, you happen to get it? It's copy of loan. I'm on Patreon. I'm just trying to search it. I just texted it to you. Loan. Loan. Oh, this is gonna be bad. Par one. How long is it? It's only a couple minutes. Perfect. It's a couple minutes. Yeah.

Bobby, you were smart. It was independent. I funded it myself. Bobby, you were smart to look for it for an hour and 35 minutes. So we only have 10 minutes to make fun of the show. Should we take a quick break and tease it? Nope. Nope. Nope. Let's tease it. I know right now. I know right now we have 15 minutes so we have to take a break. But we have to do a read. We need to make some mood. Oh man Bob. Let me read it then. I got it. Let me do the read. No, you're gonna do that thing you do. I don't. No, I've I got it. Let me do the read. No, you're going to do that thing you do. Jay, I don't. No, I've seen you today.

You're doing two things and you were going to have in trouble. You're a bad guy. It's right here. Let's take a break real quick. Let me tell you something. Life is full of little challenges, but it's also full of rewards. Like trying to keep your kids entertained on a road trip back and be a challenge, right? You thought packing video games and letting them watch the short film by Robert Kelly alone would be enough.

Loan, sorry, rookie mistake. Save your sanity with Snickers, a special treat for good behavior. Let's say you finally got that challenging project done at work. It's in black and white. You're feeling pretty proud of yourself. That was a choice creatively. And thinking, you know, I deserve a treat. I need maybe a cookie, maybe a fancy latte, maybe make a short independent film in your room by yourself. Am I the only one feeling this right now in the world? It's another rookie mistake. Nothing satisfies quite like a hotel.

Now it's game day and the games coming over, you've got everything from Little Eye Joe, the damn defi-no. Lone. But that dessert recipe, yeah, that didn't work out, did it there, Jay. Well, rookie mish-dake. Lone.

Thankfully, you got a stash of Snickers stored in the closet in your pillow, because you're alone. Maybe your team didn't win, but you dessert sure did. Sometimes all it takes is a Snickers bar to come back from life's little lonely challenges. Rookie mistake, maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar,

sponsor of the NFL. Check out Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more. Cut the music off hard, Luke, because I will say this. My one, I love Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more. Cut the music off hard, Luke, because I will say this. My one, I love Snickers. I love it. Saying that you dessert that you made for a party fell to pieces.

And the answer is, luckily you had Snickers to give out is not, people don't walk away from that going like. No. He goes, your team lost also in this scenario. And so maybe your team didn't win, but your dessert sure did. Yeah. Saying like, look, man, look, we're out of the playoff contention, I guess, mathematically barring some miracle, but they're worse knickers. They were. And that's just, I don't, that doesn't strike me. Well, I would not do that on here. Just as I know we don't know how to do radio good,

but let's not kill our squad. I'm not killing them. I'm saying, let me write it. I could tell you where you want to snicker. How about this? How would I write this? Maybe you're in your hotel room and you're not selling out and you have maybe 30 people to show

and you feel alone. Rookie mistake. You feel alone. Go down to the little kitchen down in the hotel and get yourself a snicker snickers the official candy bar of the of the rides into calma now go ahead and just grab for them and shove them in your mouth like tusks

because you're loan now I ask I ask a professional courtesy can I leave no no, no, no. Christine is so excited. No. All right. Also my offer for Jay's card was declined. And then he took it off the market.

Off the market. Off the market. Wow. I'll tell you what just happened there. Maybe he sees that. He goes, oh, that's a collector trying to get in. Yeah. This is worth nothing. So he's only going to offer me a dollar. He's like, no, no, that's a collector trying to get in. Yeah. Like, this is worth nothing. So you just only get off of me a dollar and say, no, no, no, I'm gonna keep it now.

Because that thing is worth something. It's about to accrue. Oh my God. Oh, this already the beginning of it, man. This is great. I see your tiny list, Arin. Oh. Wait, do you want to read his little description?

Yes, I do. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Let me read it. Nope. Okay Hey Jacob, can I borrow that? And that heating pad Good here's a little short film I made in Spokane I Watched a video on YouTube calling the boring called the boring room challenge. It's where you make a short film I made in Spokane. I watched a video on YouTube calling the boring,

called the boring room challenge. It's where you make a short film by using, twice not short film, by using what you have in your hotel room to inspire you. I filmed it using my iPhone and edited on my iPad Pro. Let me know what you think in the comments. I really wanted people to like this. Yeah, can we read some?

I've never read the comments. First comment by the way is some Clint has big ugly tits, he says, I feel like there's more masterbiting going on than what's shown. Cheryl Gunderson says, love it. Would have watched a much longer version. That is a fake account. How do you know that's a fake account?

Kate King says, so artsy and common. I can't wait to watch this. Keep going. By the way, Kilo Harrison just says, good attempt. Hope to see more. William Valentine, Robert Kelly's gone soft. It's officially your family happiness and success that has ruined you. Great video. You introspective homo. That's what a guy you should have sent to to first. Susan Taylor says I found it very moving the music the royalty free sat shit the close-ups and your eyes I mean this is making me so hard to watch this close-ups. We got 10 seconds. Oh go go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guys gotta just cry. Lone, Adjuv, Having no companions,

Solitary or single, Lacking the support of others, Isolated, Literary of a place, Unfrequented and remote, And remote, known, Prenaounced, L,

Long O, N. I mean, have you been there? It's very lonely. Go on. Oh, this is all staying on the screen. Long oh in I mean have you been there? It's very lonely Go on oh this is all staying on the screen All right, it's Bobby in a pretty basic running the hotel room Helton garden in maybe fully clothed in bed in bed. Yeah, a couple things going on in the bed is suitcase is still there He's in full Oh, Jesus Christ man. Oh look at Bobby acting

Look all the choices he's making You know a lot of business for another second now get up. Just see no Bobby who looked at the guy who did human centipede to Wait lights on no shades up. Oh shades up Christine bring up picture of the human centipede to guy also And show that Bobby does like the human centipede to guy. You know glad. I'm so happy. This is on my Patreon. Oh No, it'll leak That's that's real to you. Are those bomba sucks? What's that? This guy?

You don't care about the homeless? Yeah. That's a Bobby looks like I know. Martin Lomax. That is fucking nuts. Oh, you're crazy. That is so accurate. Oh my god.

Oh my god. I've never, ever been called that guy. That Bobby looks like you instead of be too. That is the most accurate. I've been called by King Kong Bundy. I mean a million. Yeah, that is Goody good Thinking about life I've got a lot of face Wait, wait, wait, here you go. This is where it gets artsy hmm

The edits yeah, oh my Christ almighty. It just keeps jump unnecessary edits Wait, wait, wait, wait, here you go. This is where it gets artsy. Hmm. The edits. Yeah, oh my Christ almighty. It just keeps jump unnecessary edits. A Bobby slightly different positions. Wait, look, look, I'm looking. Oh, oh, it got color for the picture of the painting. Only the painting. Yep, you got it.

It's a big band. Yeah, a clock tower. TV. Also a bridge. Yeah. We're dead people hanging from it that's gone gone right away I'm like he's gonna kill himself I was close you get jump off a bridge or a clock tower so you're the first you're gonna murder

women from the clock tower and then jump off their bridge because it would take you a lot everybody interprets things differently oh that's what art is yes oh look at that close up why are, you're inner ice sweating Harry. I'm very Yeah, we're oh, you're trying to conjure up a tear. No, I'm going there in my head. Oh, you're Looks like you're holding it apart. I swear to you now. I'm there. I'm there really is that what that all was look Open mouth. I'm smiling. I I sque slide? Oh, there's a little open mount. I'm smiling. I, I, I, I tried to get there, but wait, I'm there.

I wait, wait, wait, I'm here. Oh my god. Yeah, what's in color because he's there. Oh, he's there. He's there. It's in color now. Wait, the picture remark. Yes, but at the place.

And the same. Oh, and it's a picture to real. Picture to real. Oh, pretty good. It's pretty good. I'm watching. And the same. And it's picture to real. Picture to real. Pretty good. It's pretty good. Lulags it. No, it doesn't. Black Lulags it. Black Lul doesn't like it. Black Lulag. Holy shit, dude. Bobby, if you were to fucking BMX off of the stairs into the water, I'd love it.

But there were such a beautiful place of different kind of things. Wait, is that what you mean by gondola? That's a gondola. Yeah, just you know all of us and you let us go with a gondola is a boat. Yeah, you let us go the whole show. Oh, sorry. Not a gondola. What is it called? It's not a gondola too, but it's a gondola. It is. It's not close to a gondola. It's a gondola. I think that is also called a gondola. It is. Yeah. It's gondola. For skiing. Yeah. Well, listen, for the the sake of art. Oh hang on Bobby's back from there. I came back Bobby your your eyes still sweating from thinking so hard

I wanted to get out of the room, but I couldn't Because I'm so depressed. I'm alone. Oh sad. No, you're not a lot of your love of a god Bob your loan I'm looking alone, so I keep ruining my own title But you do have a deodor your loan. I'm looking low. So I keep ruining my own title But you do have a deodorant there. I can see this that's resistant against yellow I think there's a little continuity issue the comrag wasn't in God look at that shot how long did you take it to set that up? I had to bounce my phone on a pillow. Oh look at Bobby's Bobby's thinking I pe- oh look It's his iPad pro his iPad pros off to the left there with a stylus

Little bottle. How long does this but what? Oh my god The shirts dirty shit let it guess right into bed again No, now he has to go to the other place. No, no, no, here we go turn down the heat And I should have went out. I should have did all that stuff. But I didn't. Instead he just, oh, you have the automatic shades. I like it. Nice. Oh, God. Bobby, honest to God. Bobby, this Bobby this couldn't have been more gay if you showed it to us while wearing a parade He is a bad I mean guys. That's hilarious. Yeah, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait See if this craze. Oh, I think this credit. Oh

The R makes the lower part of the The arm makes the lower part of the cave Here we go, ready. Here we go What's the other credit? Did I put it I think I think Feel That's it right there I'm with the deal It's some sort of cologne you welcome everybody. I'm gonna go ahead and tweet this link, but you do need to subscribe to Patreon. It's not that it's not $20 million this week.

Damn, here's the thing, the product itself isn't quite as depressing as I thought it was gonna be, but it doesn't matter because watching it, you weren't okay that weekend. Oh no. You were going through it that weekend. I was gonna be but it doesn't matter because watching it you weren't okay that weekend Oh, no, you were going through it that weekend I was going through it because that's definitely I'm so January 3rd, which is probably like the weekend of the first weekend of the year Which is the shittiest weekend of comedy? I think I was also you were probably like shittiest weekend probably low-tick sales Yeah, you're leaving your kid after Christmas. I mean, yeah, that's loan and I was I was like Your loan dude your kid was loan The Christmas I mean do that that's alone and I was I was like Your loan dude your kid was loan

Fuck you Need a loan just a family full loans But you welcome you welcome I could have hid that for the rest of my life, but I wanted you to have it. No, that was beautiful. You're welcome. And I'll share something horrific one day, but I have a big... Let's digest this first. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God, man. I'm literally gonna be able to buy a house at the end of this weekend. Nice. The amount of people that I was enjoying in Patreon. Oh yeah, a lot of butt guys. Get a month at least, just to see the world. Yeah. And comment away. Yeah, let's hear a few more

comments for me. Yeah, we have another minute or two when we check out for you. Let's get the facts of the comments. Yeah, let's read these good comments. This is good break. The baddest Logan Paul fighter. I feel worse than the girls on your last documentary surviving our Kelly. You're a mother fucking inspiration. Good job Bobby. Keep going down. Is that all of them? Every comment was made five years ago. Load more. Oh hang on, let me get it all.

Being creative, good shit. Fake account. At about 150 you'll notice Bobby is suffering from debilitating constipation. Also, I think... Someone named Deep Who wrote Epic, well done. Saga dick, I know. Deep Who, Deep Who Gill, Epic. What was Epic about that? Dude, it was black and white.

Bro, here's someone who knows you, Matt and the Clelland. Music was perfect, it was some great shots. It was good, however, I'd like to ask you to have a YKWD with Keith Collin and Vaust and show them that. I think the comments from those three would be a pretty good episode. Yeah, why don't I just do it with these guys? One of them has a stride.

Just screw in a heart attack. Hey, scroll. Scroll till you see someone begging for a lone part two. That's it. That's it, gang, go find me together for the lone part two. You guys listen, tell me how I can help. I want to get involved in the Ground roots. I have loan loan part to is not gonna be loan part to it's gonna be called happy

Oh, it's got to be it's gonna be happy and in principle a loan story. Yeah, the loan story Make part to from the loan universe? This is from the loan movie universe, the LMU? Dude, Loan 3 was my favorite. Oh my God, this. They're like loan in space, loan in the hood. You don't jump the shark when Bobby got skinny Loan 5. He's 145 pounds.

He knew he was hook then. I guess I got the audience, the lone fame set him off in a bad trip. But lone eight, a G5 plane in the sky, that's all. Oh, by the way, Jordan Fudge likes to say, I would kill my first born to have Patrice back for 20 minutes, showing this clip, and let that give you two of the beatings you deserve. This way to killed him again.

Oh my gosh. Oh shit. That was so damn it. Wow, God damn it. Deepu, you said it best. I love how much you put into that. He put so much. That was a whole day.

Oh, it was a whole day. It was a full day. He likes it. I think it was the in legs. I think it's great. Well, Christine is literally the worst actor I've ever met in my life we found out She is no show off to tell you that now the worst

It was crazy. Can you guys please do your own version of loan? Yes, I'm sending it. Yeah, that's a little alone in my room Watch me alone if you make your version of loan. I will fuck it. I lose my shit Whatever's gonna be happening in happening in my hotel room pictures. You got it. Do I have to do like this? Do I have to squeeze my eyes and then go, I'm there. We got to go.

We got to go. Thank God the show is over. Steve Renazese, everybody's going to be in helium for the. November 16th through the 18th, get tickets to Steve Renazese.com. And Big J is going to be in Phoenix this week and the 20th to the 21st. And San Francisco Milwaukee, Philadelphia, all tickets, please go to bigjag comedy.com. And Robert Kelly is going to be at the Comedy On State Madison, Wisconsin this week at 19 through the 21st.

It's Thursday through Saturday. Get tickets at Robert Kelly live.com. We'll be right back. Or maybe not. It's a lot of fun. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer.

That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo Get out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Grab a little... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH