The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Long-Tongued Lenny

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Bob has fond memories of working with a special man named Lenny in his younger years. Jay discovers that Bobby has a "Green Mile" method for curing mental handicaps. Jacob will not have sex with a gorgeous woman because she has a disability. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly I know by now you wanna be my lover, wanna be my lover Go ahead and take your time, boy you gotta feel secure Before I make you mine, baby you have to be sure You wanna be my lover, wanna be my lover, wanna be my lover La la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I Can't do any other kind of whistle besides the purse lip whistle. I can't do this whistle. I can't do this ready

You know that's my one of my favorite things I taught Max when he was on the block down the street. Whistle And I counted 10 and then he comes walking. Nice trained pup. Oh that made my fucking manhood rock. Yeah! Get in here. I really wish I could do that. Wow.

Whistle Doesn't make sense. Whistle I really wish I could do that. Doesn't make sense. So loud. It's some manly shit right there. I'm getting out of whistle. Jacob you can't whistle. You're the manliest man on the show. Nobody else can whistle in the room? What the fuck is that? That's that's bird shit. Come on man whistle. I can't remember. Damn, Bobby's fucking calling geese. Fantastic work.

Whoa, yeah. I can also switch up my whistles on my lips. I do love your bird. Bobby, you have a great bird chirp. I do. When we were playing Day Evil and Bobby did birds chirping, it was one of my favorite things. Oh, it's Oh It's a Bobby swallow Look at the Bobby swallow It's gonna Boston fuck some shit up I'm telling you right now. Let's go take all your guns out there Bobby and just go on a fucking clocktower spree You know it's gonna be weird though about that. Is that a quad when you're a kid?

a mock tower spree or something. You know what's gonna be weird though about that? Pick a roof and a quad. When you're a kid, drinking beer, smoking weed, stealing shit, the fact that you could get caught and go to jail was part of the excitement of it. That was part of- No, but that's the theory behind this. Right.

That it will, but- It's the legalized drugs, and if it's available, it's not what's the big- But you're gonna take away all the fun of being a teenager if it's just. Hey mom, I'm gonna go get wrecked in the woods with my friends. Okay honey, go ahead, just be back by eight.

When the streetlights go on, you come home. It's totally cool. Don't have the cops bring you home. Cops don't care, mom. No, the cops don't care anymore. They're totally chill with it. Jay, listen to me, Jay. The cops care about everyone.

Now you respect them and they'll respect you. You fat pig. It really is gonna take away the fun. Like I remember going to the pub, we used to get a case of beer. We used to get whatever beer, we'd save all our money all day, wait in front of the liquor store

for some piece of shit to come. I think even this lady. He'd come up and we'd suck him off and then he'd go in. And then he'd come up, and we'd suck him off, and then he'd go in, and then he'd get us all alcohol. And then he'd try to get another blow job, and be like, dude, you got enough. And we already got the beer.

And then we'd go back to the park in the corner, have ice, we'd get our little cheese cups from La Casha's Bakery, and we'd sit there and just keep an eye out for the cops. And I remember when the cops would come we'd fucking just run, grab the beer, you know it was just that excitement of we're not supposed to be doing this. Which I think with your thing though in particular Bobby I will say even with this Chinese mayor you have here. Woo!

Um woo. Woo! Woo. Woo! I think even she would think it's a bit much for a nine-year-old to be partying in the woods with his friends drinking. You were so young. Yeah, but I know young,

but even as a teenager, 13, 14, 15, to not get prosecuted for robbing a place, drinking, smoking pot, threatening people, you take all the fun out of being a teenager, right? Bobby, if you were me in charge at that time, you'd be living with your mom the entire time. I would never, I'd make your dad live back with you. You would never have to take care

of retarded people overnight. I love those guys, I miss Barry. Yeah dude, you were the professional. What was that movie Johnny Knoxville did? Bob. With a special ed, we just joined the special ed kids. I used to miss that when I would come home, Bob, hi Bob. Hey Bob.

Hey Barry, how are you? Good Bob, I'm going down under now, ha ha ha. I'd be like, yep, you can have dinner in a couple minutes. Damn man, that guy. I speak fluent, retardation back then. Yeah, that's fair. I love those guys. He's saying he's hungry in a series of moans and blanks. I miss the other ringer

They were the best you were the ringer Bobby retarded people are mentally handicapped people You say now but back then you could say mentally retarded you had to put mentally retarded in front of it back then a Clinical idiot, I think also that was before no that was way before They were the fucking best. A slack jaw? I live with six of them every day. Kimp brain? I used to take them to the beach. That was the best.

I know. Just walk down the beach. You ever, did you ever take their money when they weren't looking and make them have sex with each other? That's what I would have done. No, that's not. I would have been pure abusive.

No, no, no. I'm like, hey, suck her boobs. And they're like, boobies. I'm like, yeah, boobies, suck them. I'm filming this for the dark web She retarded she shy she's just shy. She's not retarded. She's just shy and her eyes are fire very far apart I mean when we did have dinner together it was like a food fight But no matter what right they can only eat if they flick it across at each other they flick it across at each other. Tybalt.

Get a piece of- Those fucking toad tongues. Rigatoni, rigatoni in your eye. Tybalt. Tybalt. Tybalt. Tybalt. Tybalt.

Bob, look, catapult with my spoon. Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? Times have changed, Jay. Well, yeah, but you can say whatever you want. You hate the cops, I love the cops. I hate the retarded, you love them now. With two different people. No, listen.

One thing you get from that group of people, for sure, taking care of a bunch of retarded people, honesty. Right? Unyielding honesty. No, they lie. Really? I thought more like they'll tell you they like you a lot. And they'll go, Bobby, your breasts terrible.

No. They lie. Really? Dude, the lady that I work for, God forbid if she's listening to this, her mother used to fill in for me on like a couple days and nights, or sometimes worked on Saturdays. Her breath was so bad.

Her teeth were all dead. And she would answer the phone downstairs. And me and the other lady, Cindy, who worked there, big old lesbian lady who got me the job, who I loved, we would have to keep secret Windex and Lysol around. So, cause you'd grab that phone and be like, the phone ring, you'd just go, hey, hey, and you'd just start throwing up.

Cause her mouth was near it. She had terrible breath and none of these guys told her. They'd talk face to face with her. It didn't affect them. But they also might not know what bad breath is. They might not. They might think that's just regular breath. They might just think that's just her thing, yeah.

Yeah, something tells me all the handicap kids weren't super hygienic. Well, they were elderly. I lived with six elderly, retarded guys. Oh, okay. They were all 50 and up. Nice. And they all had jobs.

They all woke up every day and went to jobs. And that's my job. My job was to wake them up in the morning and get them, make sure they were dressed. They dressed themselves. They fed themselves. They had to be at work at what, like be at work at like 9 a.m.?

Yeah, 9. So you gotta wake them up what, four or five? Oh, they had to leave. They had to, they had to wake them up at four. You gotta wake them up at four or five in the morning, get yourself a nice five hour head start on those crazy bad situations that has to happen.

I'm freaking out, I'm eating my tie! No, no, no, no, no, Nathan, don't eat, Nathan! Ha ha ha, no, they would wake themselves up pretty much. By the time I was done, like a couple months in, they all did their own thing. The alarms go off, and you just hear a symphony of screams. Eh, eh. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! They're all up. They're up. They would get up, make their own breakfast, and usually see themselves up. But every once in a while, I'd have a problem. Like one night, downstairs was Mike, Larry, and Ed.

But Ed was- Missing, because Larry ate him? No, but Ed was a big guy like you, a big guy, but he was kind of violent. Mike was a little tiny rock dude, he had rings, he was almost like a, he looked like Voss, just retarded. Retarded Voss? Or just Rott Voss.

Yeah, just Voss. And- He was Voss in a funny mirror. Yeah, but the other guy, Lenny, he was very repetitive. He'd go, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, good to see you, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, hi, Bob, Ed's here, Bob, Ed's here, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, okay, Bob, I'm getting ready, Bob, Bob, I got ready, Bob, Bob, you gonna come down, Bob? Oh, I'm gonna have breakfast, Bob, Bob, I love you, Bob, Bob, okay, Bob, okay, all right,

all right, Lenny, stop, okay, I'll stop, I gotta stop, Bob, I can't,. I'm gonna stop nobody you gotta chill out now get your bra. Okay, Bob and about the end Lenny No, stop and Ed hated Lenny and tried to kill Lenny one morning and I went down there and Ed had a knife Really? Yeah, he was gonna kill me. Lenny was crying and I felt terrible because he was scared and crying and he was like this fucking guy He wants to he won't stop saying he's like Ed's gonna kill me. Ed's gonna kill. Ed has a knife He has a knife. He's gonna kill me Bob Bob He's gonna kill me Bob Bob and I came down and said Lenny get out I was like Ed you gotta stop you gotta put the knife down you're scaring Len This is ridiculous, and then he pulled the knife on me

Why would somebody and then I I was somebody after the world of mice and men comes out names their retarded kid Lenny piece of shit Does that? The guy grass if you name your kid Chester you might as well say he's going to be a molester You've set him up for he's gonna be called it every day of his whole life I He grabbed the knife on me and was gonna he came at me and I just took a bigger knife out of the thing. And I was like, I was only two years out of fucking rehab.

Did you give me that's not a knife? That's not a knife. That's a knife. I went, I go, let's do this. I go, you wanna fucking play? Let's play. West Side Story. I go, I'm crazy too motherfucker.

He went, okay, Bob, I'm sorry. And he put the knife back. And we never had a problem again. It was like the Beat It video. You guys both put your own wrists out to get them tied up. Retarded people are mentally challenged people, are the sweetest people on fucking earth.

Until they go to murder each other. Until they get a knife. No, they're pure spirits. They're just like, I said they're kind of unfiltered, I feel like, which is interesting to pure spirits. They're just like, I said they're kind of unfiltered, I feel like, which is, you know, it's interesting to deal with. They're fun, man. When they love, they love hard.

And when they hug, they hug too hard. You should have molested one or two, though. Why do you talk, why would I molest them? Why not, dude, who's gonna believe him? Bobby comes in and touches my wiener. You're like, why the fuck would I do that? These guys, get Lenny outta here. Why does mom name him Lenny?

Bobby touched my ding, Bobby molested me last night. Bobby, Bobby touched my ding ding, Bobby touched my ding ding. Bobby touched my ding, okay, what does that mean? And you go, I think he thinks his remote control is his ding ding, I don't know what this fucking, his name's Lenny. You're right, I should've. You should've just molested him.

I missed an opportunity. Just wake up, you wake him up by jerking him off, and then when you wake them up, it goes, Bobby! And you go, you go, no one's gonna believe you if you say you'll be the one who's in trouble for lying. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, please don't touch my ding-ding. Now, tell me, is this too much teeth? No, this is, oh Bobby, oh Bobby, oh Bobby, oh, I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna do ding-dong, I'm gonna do ding-dong, I'm gonna do ding dong, I'm gonna do ding dong, I'm gonna do ding,

ee, gulp. What if he came and he was like, yo dude. Yeah, you sucked him normal? Yo dude, what the fuck you doing, man? I think you sucked out my extra chromosome. Yo dude. I'm fine now. Yo dude, what the fuck you doing sucking me off?

I don't play that shit. Lenny don't play that shit. Lenny, that's a great, what a lunatic. I mean, was he damaged from birth? I think they come out mentally handicapped. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like you should have been Lenny still. I don't think you can become mentally retarded.

I mean, brain injury. No, that's a brain injury. That's just somebody who's just like, ha, but mentally handicapped, mentally retarded, whatever it is. So fucking crazy. But that's the way you are. And they know, now they know, before they're born,

you can choose to not do that. But we had to make that decision. I told Don, if we have a baby that comes out with Down syndrome, we're keeping it. No, you just eat it like cast-in. No, I'm not going to eat it. So have you ever hung out with a mentally retarded person? No.

Yes? I mean, really just hung out with them. Not Christine. Christine is mentally ill. That's a different thing. I call it retarded. No, there's medicine for her. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's have a big long tongue

There's medicine for regular retardation to Bobby nighttime molestation You guys listen my research while it's a little controversial watch this watch this Oh Bobby Oh Bobby Oh, hey, thanks, man What the hell did you just suck my dick? But only I could do it Christ Almighty it works I was the only one who could do it though my technique Bobby's got green mile Bobby can green mile retard out of your dick The air's little flies. All the retard goes into the air. Ah. Yo dude, thanks man.

Did you ever see the green mile before? Bobby, thank you dude. How long was I retarded for? Dude, like 36 years. It's like awakenings when they brought De Niro back to life what and you find out if Bobby doesn't continue to suck your dick You go back to being retarded Bobby I need my fix man. I'm starting to get a little goofballish again. I'm enjoying I go I cut myself with scissors the other day. I need you to suck me off, man.

Is that his job? How much is that sir? Uh, 75, 75 dollars, 75 dollars. Come someone call Bobby, call Bobby. Retarded awakenings. Oh. My brother's quality of life is very low. He's completely an invalid.

He goes, not for long, dude. Dude, I got you Release I'm just about a barbecue brother's fine about a barbecue just hanging out. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, bro. Listen real quick. I know you're hanging out. You're having a good time big fan of the buff out cracker cracker See my sister over there drooling into her cup You mind and I had to eat pussy time. Yeah, you go. You know what? I gotta be honest with you I've never tried this from a pussy before but maybe I can But I just but I got to eat her pussy

And no one's mad at you. He tried everything but I got to eat her pussy. You got to eat her pussy though. And no one's mad at you. He tried, he did everything he could. Dude, he ate her pussy for like two hours. I can only cure kids after they're 18. I can't cure. Sorry guys. Sorry guys, I just really.

You have to be retarded to 18. I guess 13 if we go to Mexico, but I'm not gonna feel good about it. In Iceland, I can blow him at 12. Yeah, you start making noise and you're like, come on kid You get a little wiener in your mouth. Come on kid. Don't make it weird for me. It's already weird for me Down syndrome syndrome allowed to make porn. Yes. Yeah, why not? They're adults. They can do whatever they want at a certain age They can do whatever they want. Let's see some no

They're fine now I want to see I do not want to see down How do we go from the nicest people in the world me solving down syndrome to them? Just tell me a nicer thing to do for the nicest people in the world and have someone fuck them Maybe you eat it fancy until they're not Down syndrome anymore down porn. There's no way There's downed porn. There's no way. I'll look that up right now.

No. How do you even have the- One billion percent. I've looked at this on legions of skanks in my life. Yeah, absolutely. Oh God. It's legal? Yes.

They're adults. They can say they consent to be a porn star. They know the ram of the key. Some of them are high functioning and live on their own. What do you think, quirky-ass, everybody, every car you wanted to buy, you had to ask somebody, that guy was living large.

And not for nothing, there's a couple girls that have Down syndrome that are kinda hot. It's the Bonfire, everybody, and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts?

Right, it's like being half jacked off. Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfirefire to subscribe for the full show plus you get all the music channels you get Howard Stern You get all the other comedy channels sports and to get our full show sign up for a serious XM subscription at Sirius XM Dot-com slash bonfire support our show subscribe Like pretty Subscribe. I'm not saying I'd fuck her. Look, she's gorgeous. I'm not trying to say I would fuck her, but I would try to suck the down syndrome out of her pussy and blow it away. If that worked, then I would fuck her. I still feel like I was doing something mean to somebody, because whenever she, like the

smile and laugh always is where you're like, when they get like that, like, ha ha. You're like, aw. You know how fun she is? Next level stupid. She's not, I mean, she's pretty girl, man. Sure. She's not, I mean she's pretty girl, man. Sure, she's jacked also. She's in shape, great body, her face is, you know. Jacob, you would.

Come on, Jacob, look, go back up to that one. Jacob, you totally would. Stop it, Jacob. I would not. Jacob, you, oh my God, you would. Jacob, you're right, are you crazy? Why, why? Jacob, you bring her home, you create trainer

for a couple months. The smile gives up the problem. The smile does give up the problem. It always has to go up high and a lot of bottom tooth. No, Bobby, you wouldn't. I don't know why when they smile they always have to look up to Jesus. Yeah, so you see the bottom of their top teeth. Is she high functioning too? Yeah, she's high. Look at her. I know what you're saying, dude. Yeah. I don't get it. She's high functioning to her. Yeah, she's not looking I know you're saying dude. Yeah, I don't get it I functioning dude. She's high functioning dude. You can take her out. She'll understand a movie so good on top She knows how the motion works. No, no

Why could she get a move because you have to watch retarded movies rest your life play a clip of her talking? Yeah, dude. She's tell you what it's not gonna be Wait, she's not Let's listen Okay It's not gonna be Wait Let me hear it talk in Spanish You just did it right when she was coming up. This guy's yapping. It would be funny if she started talking first and didn't go, DERRRRR! Yeah, Joe, you're right.

The Los Pantalon Days! First of all, it was still funny. That's never not going to be funny. You could do that tomorrow out of the blue Dude sounds like regular Spanish to me Papi Papi no likey puppy no cool. Oh Pano

Pingo big that dude look at her. Why cuz she's got a little fucking goofball midsection. So what? There you go I do not want to set this up Christine was able to find a Video of a Down syndrome person actually having enjoyable sex. Okay, that's an ad Christine Those are dawn's old tits. Oh There we go. Oh god, those weren't are they both? Oh the one guy's norms. Oh, they're honest. What are they in a hostel? Let's hear if the sound sound like this. She says fucking the fat girl. I don't know

Which is the same thing? Yeah, maybe she's just fat I'll tell you what doesn't say down so it doesn't say down so now it says fucking the fat girl You think it would come up stop the the kid has Down syndrome She does it. Yes. Look at his, yeah, he has it. He's banging you with sweatpants on. I thought she did from her face. No, he did. He has Down syndrome.

Oh, this girl has my old tits. Oh, wait a second. What if it was Jay? Dude, that could be me. I could be the guy or the girl in this video. The guy and the girl are both built like me that is flat asses the guy has your lower half and she has your No This is disgusting come on don't be a cock tease get back to those jeans

It wasn't too much Christine is nobody was retarded there Yeah, but you find me some fucking retarded porn and don't wake us up until you do type in mentally handicapped porn Maybe they're woke. Did you write retarded? Can't write retard can't write retard sex Bing might do it Bing might give you reason her boyfriend no way that's Tony Robbins. No, it's not motivational speaker Oh, no, it's not That's her brother her brother got all the good genes, huh? To dia. No says happy birthday my brother the dia Where's that right here? Did you translate?

You're crazy. Happy birthday my brother brother see Gus complimento mucho smear I'm sure just be calling him my brother, and it's not actually her brother Oh, she's trying to friends on him because she's that hot Jacob you would fuck this chick. You're so full of shit Skank fest late night She comes back to your room. She follows you because she she's likes the back of your head Oh, yeah, dude you come in there. She's just fidget spinning in the dark. Yeah, where have you been? Thought you were done pay out the guy This is the only thing stop me from biting your fucking cheeks off right now. I thought you got cook me salmon

No, you're not I hear a hundred percent in no I'm not if we didn't if we didn't tell you she had I just said this girl likes you and I didn't show You're smiling ever you wouldn't know that no you would why body's too great What about in shape what about the picture down the left where she's covering her mouth with her hand? Come on. Oh, no, that's the hand really showed a lot of it. She has retarded hands somehow She's naked she's taking a shower dude hydrating shit oh she's brown does she she has to wear oh she has to or else she gets confused by her own tits and thinks other people looking at her and she rips them at them

my chest eyes my chest eyes she, Jacob. I think you would. You're a piece of shit, man. Jacob, what do you do first? 100% would not. You're crazy. What do you do first? The other video of the FECRO was built like me? The girl with my body? Or do you fuck this lady? Yeah, exactly. The other one?

One or the other? Let's be honest with you, they're both not going gonna be set to your diet afterwards for food. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. One's gonna smell better than the other one. Yeah, one eats all foods,

the other one can eat soft foods. And the other one sweats out her foods. That's true. You're gonna smell that. It's gonna be like boiled ham. Yeah. It's gonna smell like Irish dinner. The Down Syndrome girl's gonna smell awesome. Yeah. It's gonna smell like Irish dinner. The Down Syndrome girl's gonna smell...

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. You see how she takes care of herself. Yes. Yeah. If you're putting, like force me, I have to pick one or the other. Yes, we are.

Then I'm picking her. Bing. So you would do it. Yes. If I had no choice. You have no choice, except the other one. It feels like Down syndrome over fat You want to be with this guy you're such a sweet guy keep it tight that's sweet So you'll fuck any in shape retarded person over any fat person

Yes, no. Yes. No, we mean no you know a proportional fat was that for me Are you saying you fuck me over some of these retarded people? No Retarded people Jacob would you rather fuck me or that down syndrome girl? No, I I can't like she's like whoa, what did you dodge that question Wow, what's happening? Oh, thank God I'll make you feel fantastic asking me exactly Here's my picture Jacob this part of my of my arms, my under forearms, are holding your thighs back. You're under your thighs.

And I'm really working your bum. Oh, you're getting fucked. You're not the guy. No, no, no, no. I'm on my side. No, no, no. I'm going to try to suck. I'm going to do my green mile move,

but there's nothing coming out. Yeah. You actually make him retard. Yeah, I'm going to make you retard, and then I'm going to cure your retardation. No, I'm going to. retarded and I'm gonna cure your retardation. No, I come in I come in every He wants to prove how good he'd be at it we all do we all do what are you crazy Welcome to being a man How many women have said over the past five years?

I hear like public stuff or other podcasts or some women go Guys are far more obsessed with other guys dick sizes and seeing big dicks and everything, and I go, yeah, I bet that's very true. Absolutely. I don't think girls really overly give a shit too much if a guy pulled his cock out in a room. Most of them would be like, oh, get out of here. If someone goes, a guy pulled his cock out

in the room next to us, and you can just walk in and see, I'd be like, all right, Bobby, vamp for a second. I'm gonna go look at this guy's dick. I'll go take a peek. I'd be like, Jacob, you vamp, I'm going with him. Yeah, Jacob, vamp? Me and Z, we're gonna go see if we can cure this guy's retardation.

Ah! Damn, Bobby, with the Green Mile Tour. That's what our tour should be called, Bobby. Bobby and Jacob are going right down, sucking off your retards. Send your retard. That's our meet and greet. If you have anyone, it's mentally challenging your family.

Me and Bobby could green mile them through their genitals. Doesn't work for chicks. Keep your fucking hot ass down, sending girls home. But it only lasts for six months. I can't find, this was from way early in the show, I can't find her lady displayed. There's pictures of it. There's pictures.

I'm looking for it, but it says she did a gangbang with 620 men. Yeah, so. I'm looking for a person. She did a gangbang with 620 men. Yeah, it wasn't though. Who cares? It's the Houston 500 She did that gangbang Houston 620. It says the world's oh she did another one after that So she's banging guys like zip codes. Yeah They they bring Guys repeat what a pig. Okay, Jacob. She's a woman trying to make her way in the world. I mean, she is a pig. Six is no.

Guys. How long is that movie? OK. What'd you say? How long is the movie? Six and a half hours. Like Dune, the original film. I did.

It's like David Lynch's original Dune. Why do you have? It's like Chapelle and Dane on stage. Do you have to go over 100 guys? No, by the way, absolutely not. It's an hour and a half. I promise you it's it's edited They start like they didn't do it live that room just must smell like fucking bleach and feet Oh my god, bleach. Oh sure, dude. And how do you how do you do? They have I mean there has to be a technique to her not getting hurt. No, they get hurt really. Yeah Well, why I think they pick not like enormous dick No, they get hurt. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why would you do that?

Well, one, I think they pick not enormous dicks. They kind of get like, these gang bang things, they tend to do the record breakers, they get schlubs. They open it up to fans, because you want a bunch of guys like me to walk in with their big bellies and little dorks and just not do too much damage. They don't have 620 porn dicks coming in.

But do you have a certain time? Does everybody get to to come I think that's the whole idea is the low I think it's penetrations I think you can come multiple times because they don't have 620 guys like 70 guys so you go a bunch so you go do you go until you come and you just pump three like five times then you get a backup Christine bring up some world's biggest gang they are there rules like a hot dog eating no they count tons of them come yes But do you but do you have to do they have to come before you move on or can you just pump? Oh, no, you pump a little get out of there So you pop okay, so but you can get it then she's jerking you off and you rotate around her

She's just a machine dude a machine of pump and come oh god This is there's this big labia. They had cut the cut off. Oh this guy's got a little tiny one Yeah, there's some good fucking way but they just my point is they don't do a bunch of porn dudes because Right those are pretty big those are fucking actually really big. That's a big one. Oh, okay, so she's oh Ron Jeremy rest in peace. I mean I didn't die He's a shit is jail much dead right now. Oh So she's... Oh, Ron Jeremy. Rest in peace. I mean, I don't... Did he die? No, he's just in jail. He's a piece of shit who's in jail forever.

He's pretty much dead right now. Oh, God. Yeah, dude. What, a little load? I don't... That guy came. That guy came? I don't know.

I know. Oh, God. Oh, look, there's someone in her butt. This is just... Oh, she's getting... Oh. They're having girls also do it. With strap-ons.

Does that count? That's counting for sure. She's not just gonna waste the fucking up hole pounding So what so they just all day long these what do you get a t-shirt like? T-shirts no, it's like play. It's like playoff basketball. They put it over sort of the whole audience is wearing the same shit This is stupid. There's what who eats her pussy. Oh There's the champ dude that guy's the champ dude. Oh that guy's the champ. He's the last guy 497 I mean she was the girl Jacob Europe Stern fan, too She was there high pitcher. Eric was one of them no no no

You did a game, but that was just that that was a that was a whack-pack gang bang That's pretty fun to watch to the music That was the music behind it was just terrific. No, she's the one, do you remember she went on a date with a high school kid to his prom. She went to his prom with him, and then they sort of had like a semi-relationship almost. Like they were seeing each other a little bit. But she was on Howard Stern with a,

she went to his kid's prom with him and fucked him. I don't remember. I just don't, I've never been into gangbanging like this. I don't understand it It takes it's just so wack to me. Just all these guys hang around keeping their cocks hard Oh, I love watching gangbang pornography. I don't really Have much thing of being like like the 13th guy in that line like you go in now and do it She had to have had a bacterial infection after this.

That's what you're worried about? Yeah, she has a vagina. Christine, you have a vagina. What would a, I mean, you're only hypothetically, what is 620 dicks gonna do to your vagina? I can't imagine. You only had one dick in the last year, but how many dicks?

It's not 620 dicks. But isn't that what the... It's six, it's a... I'm saying even if it's a repeat. Yes, it's a bunch of repeat. I mean even if it's 50, it's insane. 360 different times another person's coming and empowering your cocks, it's ridiculous.

Christine, how many dicks would it take to get to the center of your tootsie pop? One, three. How many penises have you had, Christine? I have no idea. That's a lie. And it's not a lie. You've had four.

Four penises only? At once? Oh, at once? Oh, at once? Yeah. That's funny, I don't know. I have no idea. Oh, you don't know the answer to that question.

She goes, you know what, I'm blindfolded half the time, so. Christine, don't answer that, but I would love to know. What's the most, what's the most, what's the most you would ever do fantasy-wise? I don't know. Well, have you ever fantasized? I feel like anything over five would be obscene. I thought two. I thought two, but God bless you, God bless you, you ho.

Wow. I kind of knew her answer, I knew her answer at five. More than double what I thought. Wow, I thought two too her answer. I knew her answer at five. More than double what I thought. Wow, I thought too, too, man. I know her answer at five just from like, fucking like discussions we've had about stuff, you know, jokey discussions about stuff like that before. So I knew five was the answer, but it is funny to say,

I think anything over five is obscene, it's pretty funny. He goes, most people probably think going over two is bat shit crazy. Yeah, I mean one is Ridiculous to most people to now the only thing the word I want to see though is Christine fucking six guys at one time This is become obscene You should get those guys from Philly. Are you garbage guys? Yeah, are you garbage? How many guys been with it once and when does it become obscene? Yeah, what does it become garbage?

become totally obscene? I did not think she was gonna say- I think it becomes garbage at two. We had Jasmine St. Clair on here years ago who did the 300 person Gang Bang World Record before Houston, and she was like, they talked about like packing her with ice. It just doesn't, there's no sense to it though. It doesn't like, it's not like you're,

what are you getting? I don't know what there is for the her and the breaking the record How it's gonna hold up when you're older big I broke the world's gangbang record three times who cares right? But it's definitely What I like about the porn of that you can't get five out of my head I give I thought she was gonna say to it was a a crazy answer, for sure. Maybe three. Five. I liked it. Such a wild. You know that it's left with many men. I do, I know now.

And I know you want more in your fucking vicinity. Wow. If we get six, it starts getting dicey. Six. Six is a start, you gotta count. That's just nuts. That's just crazy shit. I've never had sex with five men at once.

I'm just saying, I think, over that. No, I don't think that's what you were portraying. I've never had sex with five men at once. I'm just saying, I think over that. No, I don't think that was, I don't think that's what you were portraying. I think you were just saying the, he said in fantasy, but you were like, over five just obscene. My five gangbang fantasy is not obscene. That's sensual. No, but what I like about that kind of porn though, with the gangbang record breaks are I'm a big fan of

the D P no the D Like like fakenet like there's like the the D Hollywood of like porn so like that what I like about that is this girl is so just in the porn and It's just so loose and ready to go that it's just she's talking about like Can I get a water real quick like while a guy's just like fucking pounding her But she's like oh you need me to get you hard a little bit and she's like sucking a cock and be like If anyone get me water that I'd be great and just going I for some reason I like the reckless abandon of just like it's exactly

Why I fucking hate it. Yeah, I like the build-up. Yeah, I like the romance. I like kissing. I like kissing in porn I like I don't like when they cut right to I hate when they break They're in character and then they just break it and you want me to just suck it. It's like no stay in it I I that's I that's why I probably don't like this because it's so behind the scenes bullshit There's nothing in it for me to fantasy. Because I have all that Irish Catholic guilt. I need something to, in my brain, to make it not bad. You know what I mean?

Christine, type in fluffer into Reddit, fluffer porn. Yeah, just Justin Silver comes up. And just go to posts. No, because that's why I like these too. Some of these make videos, they show the girls off to the side like getting fucked and in street clothes Just because their job is like they keep these two guys hard to go back in and it's just some girl Who's like on her phone and gene, you know, she's like, oh, yeah sure pound my snatch I don't know why I find that so hot like that. They're just like no

I'm here to suck cock and get fucked a little bit for the thing. It's just what I would judge it in life. How do you write that on a like a resume? Fluffer yeah, I think this speaks for itself She's that her job is like a PA on a movie set She's, that her job is like a PA on a movie set. Like, get me a coffee. I bet it was this, but it's the same idea though, yeah. Get me a coffee, and there's this girl in a plastic chair just keeping dicks hard. Yeah.

That's so fucking wack. I know, and they show the video of that is the best video because that girl is just like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you need me to get you hard real quick, I'll suck your cock. That's the girl, that's the massage girl at the strip club. Dude, I thought it was, our friend Matt used to be a bartender at Stand Up New York years ago. All the guys in Stand Up New York had a theater.

Touch your boobs, isn't that weird? Yeah, but he's grabbing her boobs technically. It's all technical, it's like I need to. Yeah. It's like, this is. Go to the other one. Let me feel you up a little. She has a fluffer outfit on, that's like a.

You threw it on Reddit, I said. I looked on Reddit, it didn't come up, but oh, I'll try it again, maybe I need to walk it. It's like a fluffer outfit on that's like a you threw it on reddit. I said I looked on reddit It didn't come up, but oh, I'll try it again Fluffer post listen, dude This is fucking crazy Yeah, I like the point. That's like very Yeah, like I don't know. That's why I said I even watched like those I go on this thing called thunder Thoughts is a thing. It's just girl fights, but most girl fights at some point titty pops out Christine goes on five is good six is gross girl fights, but most girl fights at some point, titty pops out.

Christine goes on, five is good, six is gross. Spill the wine. We gotta take a break. I know we do. We have to take a break. I'm sorry to bust out of fluffer porn, Jay. Bobby Kelly, I know, right now it's getting good. We're getting good, but we know.

Bobby Kelly's gonna be in Port Charlotte, Florida. That's this Friday and Saturday, everybody. After that, St. Louis, Timonium's this Friday and Saturday everybody after that st. Louis Timonium, Maryland Portsmouth, New Hampshire bring the kids down if they need you know if they're above age and they're mentally Oh, yes, he can't bring him down. I'll help him Oh, yeah, if you have any down syndrome people in your family that you would like it's gotta be you guys I know it works with guys. I can't promise with girls Shane. I cured Shane. Yeah I know it works with guys. I can't promise with girls Shane. I cured Shane. Yeah

Sucked him right out of my shame. He was full Shane came up one time here after you know What dude episode Bobby goes look? Okay, so you one thing I'm telling you're gonna skyrocket And then he did an Asian accent to the moon Make sure you catch Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m. At the fat black pussycat lounge the comedy seller for tickets and info go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly Christine move your head and then uh And except for June 11th Gary Clark jr. And July 30th Yeah Loserville welcome to Loserville. We've got two tickets that we're gonna give away to fans. We're gonna figure out how to do it and Welcome to Loserville. We've got two tickets that we're gonna give away to fans.

We're gonna figure out how to do it. And make sure you check out Big Jay. He's gonna be at the Irvine Improv June 7th and 8th. Then he's gonna be in the fully loaded tour with everybody except Bob Kelly for the month of June. And then Borgata by himself, killing it at the theater in Atlantic City July 27th. Get those tickets, get them now. All of the tour dates, bigjcomedy.com, somedaypunchup.live

slash big J. Someday. When he gets his shit together. I'm gonna get my head out of my fat ass. When you get your head out of your fat ass, stick it in Jacob's tush. Baaah. You're cured. Baaah,a didn't work.