The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Look Her In The Eye with Jason Ellis

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

Former SiriusXM host, comedian, and badass Jason Ellis returns to the studio. He's been podcasting and performing stand-up for years now. Jason gives nutrition and health advice to Bobby. He explains why Amy Schumer hates him and Jay explains why Madonna stinks. A video of green comedian Natalie Cuomo surfaces where she does battle with a heckler. The heckler seems to be getting the best of her, but not before Bobby goes on a psychotic rant and runs around the studio screaming. Jason Ellis has a podcast and is on The West Coast Cowboy Tour. Go to TheJasonEllis.com for dates and info. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly very special guest We love having them on Don't everybody I'm not saying you was not you say everybody. I don't say everybody Go ahead listen all you people out there know this guy People laugh Boston February 5th, San Diego February 8th, he's all over the place San Francisco Poughkeepsie Chicago the great Powerful Jason Ellis is here

Calm really summon some Rogan there in your fucking yeah, right easy the mighty the mighty the mighty I don't think I'm very powerful. I think I'm cool. There's a difference these days. Well, powerful in what regard? I don't think I'm powerful. I don't have any money. So power in that.

But physically. I feel like these days, what's cool is to be rich and powerful and powerful means you're rich. No. Yeah, it's bullshit. No. Cool is what is, that's what I'm about. Like, broke and cool. In life. Like, no money, but chicks like me, that's my shit. Yeah, dude, that's bullshit. Cool is what I'm about. Like broke and cool.

Like no money but chicks like me, that's my shit. Yeah, dude, that's fine. How do you get chicks? Because then you know when they like you, they like you. Yeah, they like you. I ain't gonna buy anything, I ain't gonna need anything. You got all the chicks, dude, without money? That's insane. That means you're cool.

And then they're like, and they're like, but if he has the belief of a good woman behind him, then he will, you'll get the powerful, the rich and powerful. And then when we get divorced, they can have all of it. And before that, it's too late, and they realize you're just gonna stop fucking them after a while.

Let's not go to, you're going right to the end. I like your glasses, dude. Thank you, brother, appreciate it. You were fat as fuck. Well, that is a way to put it. I didn't know that. That is a way to put it. I didn't know that.

You put up old stuff, and I'm like, dude, you, both of you. I saw old stuff put up old stuff and I'm like, dude, you, both of you. I saw old stuff of you too and I was like, wow dude, like both of you have really done good work. Thank you buddy. Yeah, amazing. We have, yeah. Yeah, well you were dying.

I was close. Right? Yeah, I was. Well Bobby, you gotta see, show young sexy Bob is the thing. Bobby was. Oh, he was sexy before that. Sexy before.

Sexy a few times I Understand I've had six fats. I've had five sexies I learned on the six six six. I did drugs and alcohol and got sober like Wait, that's not you. No, it isn't that is not you. That's Dylan, dude. That's me. That's bullshit That's me when I that's my acting. I'm not that dumb. That's me dude. No, it's not. It is him. No it isn't. That is not you. That's Dylan, dude. That's me. That is bullshit. That's me when I, that's my acting. I'm not that dumb. That's me, dude. No it's not, dude.

It is for sure. Buddy, that's me, dude. I should have been an actor. If I didn't have a full- Well you are, you were acting right there. But I could have stayed- Like a handsome person. If I stayed at a standup and I'd fuck Billy

and Patrice and Dane and I just stayed in Boston and acted, I'd be fucking on some hit cop show right now. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, and there's no, like acting you have to have, you have to see. Catering. That's the thing you have to be in skinny. After Laugh Boston, Jason, I do suggest you make your way over to Mike's Roast Beef. Mike's Roast Beef. Ooh.

I'm gonna tell you two places to go. I'm gonna tell you three places to go. Mike's Roast Beef. You gonna hook me up with a cigar place too? I'll give you the cigar place. Fuck yeah. North End, Italian section. Unlike New York, that's Chinatown. Boston actually has a legitimate Italian section, the North End, Italian section. Unlike New York, that's Chinatown.

Boston actually has a legitimate Italian section in the North End. The cigar lounge over there, I'll give you the info, it's awesome. Old school. What town is that? Is it No Black, So Loud, Boston? No, they're allowed.

Not all of them, like a certain amount. It's big of them. Okay. Thank you. Well, it's a real step for Boston, Jason, if I'm being honest. 100%. Man. And then you gotta go to Mike's Roast Beef in Everett.

Fucking shithole standalone building in Millineau, right near the new Encore Hotel, and it'll knock your dick off. It's so good. Okay. It'll knock your dick off. Good. I need that thing taken off anyway. Go to the Colons for Chinese food.

That's too much. I don't wanna eat eat. No, I don't eat Chinese. Why? Because I eat pretty clean, dude. Like on the road, I'll like lash out. Like somebody got me fucking a ridiculous box of donuts in Washington. Oh, foodie donuts, bro. No, it was their own company. Apparently they were at another show like six months ago, and they were like I own a doughnut company

I was like and you didn't bring me any fucking doughnuts fuck you guys and then they brought a giant amount so I ate that You know it's funny you've been doing we were having a conversation before you came in you've been doing comedy such a short amount of time now Yeah, that is you guys we were talking about the interesting nature of when you're first kind of going and getting on the road you know your come to many shows fans and how important they are and I mean, you're talking about the interesting nature of when you're first kind of going and getting on the road. You know you're come to many shows fans and how important they are. And just like in music though, as you grow in popularity,

watching them like diminish off because you're not like, no, this was my guy. Like I figured out this guy. And now everybody likes him, whatever. You know what I mean? That's what happens? I don't know it's just whatever it is I remember there was some real base level like always came fans engaging all the time and then one day

And I'm sure wages life just happens they get you know they get older kids Yeah, you know it's fun to watch that go. I had kind of fun. You're at a point now to like You recognize faces when you go back to places now Oh, yeah, a lot of people which is I wish I had a gun in a comedy earlier, but a lot of people that come to my shows from when I was rich and successful, when I had a show here. Right. People are like people say this, which I'm OK with it now, but it used to burn me. They're like, oh, man, I loved your show. And I'm like, I still have a fucking show.

And they're like, really? And I'm like, how did you find out I was here tonight? Your Instagram. I'm like, you'd you find out I was here tonight? You're Instagram? I'm like, you ever see a fucking promo of the Jason L show on there? And they're like, yeah, yeah, but that's like, not in the car, and I'm like, just touch it with your fucking finger and place. It's absolutely in the car.

It's anywhere you want it to be. Yeah, but they don't, they don't get it. I used to have, when I first started in New York and I built up a little something, I called them the fat eight. Oh yeah. There was eight of them. Yeah, they were the Fat Eight.

Well there was four, but they were that fat. No, no. It was the Fat Eight. One of them was a fat, it was this cute little blonde girl, but she's called the Fat, because she was with the Fat. You know who was in it? Patrick from the Stand.

Patrick Milligan, you know the one of the owners of the Stand? The guy, one of the owners of the Stand was my original Fat Eight. Oh wow. He would show up at all my shows, with the other fucking seven, and then we would go out, I would take them all out after, we'd go to diners,

we would hang out until the fucking birds came out, and then they slowly died off. But then you built new ones. Yeah, and then they died too. And now I'm rebuilding them. Your dead audience? Well there's different fan base. Like, I had this Torghaz in fan base for so long.

Stop killing your fans, dude. And then they're just dying because they're old. And they're fat. My fat fans all die. Yeah, well, maybe do some jokes about eating better. I don't know. Hey guys, I've been thinking about eating clean a lot recently and oh, Christine, I'm going to send you that thing.

I may want to show. I did have a lot of fans that are getting the surgery that I got showing up and they're fucking look fantastic what surgeries that I got the gastric sleeve surgery oh like two years ago remember I told you this yeah I have a lot when like on fucking skateboard times last year you had four times last year I got four concussions last year, yeah. Jesus Christ. All skateboarding? Nah, two snowboarding, two skateboarding.

And then you got your day-to-day concussions, because I spar on Tuesday nights, and I also spar on every couple Saturdays when I help a bunch of veterans out, and they just want to go. So I try to teach them as much as I can, but in the end they just wanna fuckin' slam. So I'm like, go on, have at it.

Look how, look at the face of Jacob's respectful, he's so respectful of your masculinity. You were telling the story and Jacob was like this, he was like, mm-hmm. That was the most American thing I've ever heard. He goes, yeah, the veterans, they just wanna get out. So I go ahead, punch me in the face. Yeah, thank you for your service, drop my ass.

I do say that. Thank you for your service. Because they're're always very they're very grateful to me You know because they you know because I'll rotate it is like 25 of them And I just let them come in one after another I just keep going for like an hour and a half And then afterwards they're like hey, man. I really appreciate it. I'm like hey, man fucking. Thank you. You know and they're like Yeah, yeah fucking calm down. I'm like okay. I'm sorry Thank you. You're like I'm even from here so fuck off What my war, elbow drop.

Hey, it's a voluntary military, last time I checked. Suplex! Just break down. Thank you for your service. You signed up for this. Are you friend, do you know, what's his name? I think his name is Ryan Scott, the guy who wrote and starred in Mr. In-Between.

Oh, no, no, no, but yeah, I know. Yeah, I've watched it. It's fucking awesome. Yeah, we have some similarities. It's one of my favorite shows on TV, Mr. In-Between. It's pretty funny. Australian show, I don't know, was he a stand-up or was he just an actor?

No, I've seen him in movies, so I didn't know about that stuff. It's fucking, it's one of my favorite shows ever. He did a lot of time in jail. And he's got a kid, and he doesn't take shit, and when people bump into him and act like dickheads instead of, you know. He's actually a paid killer.

He'll murder for money, right? But he's also, it's almost like Louis, if Louis was an assassin, a paid assassin. Okay, that changes Louis a lot though. It's very similar. Okay, there is another angle he can go on. It's like Greece, but in World War II. Right.

I swear, it's the only angle I can put it at. It's like many little short films. Every scene is like a short film, and then he just kills somebody in the greatest fucking way. It's cool, because everything he does, you justify it. It's justified anger. He's never a bad guy. He kills everybody.

It's like Dexter. They just had it coming. Better than Dexter, because it's like he'll It's more real. It's more real. And like you said, it's justified anger, which is my favorite. Yeah.

But they have moments of just little silly shit, too. It's aified Anger, which is my favorite. Yeah. And it's, but they have moments of just little silly shit too. It's a great show. Three seasons, and it's all off of the movie called The Magician, which he filmed when he filmed when he was younger. I had no idea. Yeah, because in season three, the guy goes, guy comes down and the guy was fucking with him

and he goes, do you know who that is? That's The Magician. Oh wow. And it's from the movie he did years before. Fuck. Yeah, I don't know about Australia at all. People that ask me about it, I'm like, I don't fucking know.

I know, he didn't even know Hannah Gatsby, the globe's greatest rape victim. He was unaware of his or her work. He or she better watch out, here I come. You're about to get dusted, bitch. I mean, she's looking like a dude every. I found out last night I got raped by somebody else I didn't even know, remember?

You got raped by somebody you didn't know? He thought he was having wonderful sex with a 16-year-old girl. Turns out that 16-year-old girl was raping an 11-year-old boy. I don't understand what's happening right now. Jason was 11. You were 11? He was having consensual. what's happening right now. Jason was 11. You were 11. He was having consensual.

That was my girlfriend. Very, very fun sex while his mother was right in the next room with the 16 year old girl. Unaware that a 16 year old fucking 11 year old is, that's rape the other direction for sure. Yeah. Is it? Listen, not to any guy.

I mean, if you flip it, it is. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right? If it's a guy doing that to a girl. If you flip it, it is. Yeah. You know what I mean? If it's a guy doing that to a girl, then you're like, hey, man. If a girl's doing it to a guy. It's not rape, it's molestation. That's so funny. If it's a guy, it's a jail sentence.

When it's a girl, it's a high five. I think it is. I sucked on the blouse titties when I was in second grade, and I had fun. Jason told us a story. His mom is so rad. Well, probably not in hindsight, this story. But it's not, my mom, I used to like a lot

of my mom's friends. Thought my mom had some cute friends. And he said his mom had a friend that he had a crush on and he was just like, his mom, what'd he say? She came to you one day out of nowhere. Do you wanna see nude photos of Wendy? I was like, yep. Your mother did.

My mom showed me, yeah. She was like, hey, you wanna see nude photos of my friend? Yes. Of her roommate. What a cool mom showed me, yeah. She was like, hey, you wanna see new photos of my friend? Yes. Of her roommate. What a cool mom. Pussy everything. Wow. That's awesome.

I said my mom. My mom didn't even help me with my homework. Yeah, my mom didn't either. But I said my mom would've let me see naked pictures of her friend Dawn and her friend Janine, and then also my stepfather had a friend named Tim, who was like a bodybuilder guy. Was he his cock?

And his girlfriend was fucking' smokin' hot. I'm fuckin' gonna get maybe a shot of her too. You mean his girlfriend, you mean his cock? I mean his cock. Yeah, okay. But I will say, that has been funny, because my mom's friends I don't see for years and years, and now they'll come out when I go to Philly to see me,

and I'm like, gah. Because now it's like, now I'm looking at a 60 year old woman who I was looking at when she was like 22. I used to hook up with my aunt Dottie's like, now I'm looking at a 60 year old woman who was like, I was looking at when she was like 22. I used to hook up with my aunt, Dottie's girlfriends, who was the third youngest daughter, my mother, Peggy, and then Dottie. And her girlfriends, who were way older than me, would fucking come onto me,

and I sucked out a couple titties that nobody knows about back in the day. But I was also a little beyond my age, you know what I mean? At like 14 and 15, I was already in jail. Very wise. I was already fucking arrested. Yeah, you've seen the world.

Yeah, I've already done a bunch of shit. I think I've got a. I fucked a bunch of my parents' friends. Oh, that's hot. That is hot. My mom got me laid unknowingly, well, it's not unknowingly, once, I guess pretty knowingly,

and once unknowingly. She, two people she worked with, an Asian girl one time. That was a weird situation. That was my mom's Asian friend would bring her two friends and I had DeRosa, Joe DeRosa and a comedian named Travis post him with me. He doesn't do comedy anymore.

But the first we get, and it was the Asian girl, another very cute girl. And the third one was a chubby girl who also had one hand, and the other one just had like, hang loose and baby thumb. I fucking love that shit, dude. Do you now? A fella with this chick that's got one leg

and like all kinds of double fucked up fingers, she might be in New York or she walks around switching legs and shit, she's like kind of a model, but she's a little on the jank. But she work at a printing press? I'm into it, dude. Just a little fucked up? I'll fuck a Stumpy up big time.

Really? Oh yeah. Aaron Berg last year was in love with a girl in a wheelchair at Skank Fest. I don't mind a girl with a stump. I just don't want, if the stump has to be cleaned up nice. I don't like the stump with the little flap of skin. With a little finger on the end of it? The little flap of skin, that's unnecessary. It doesn't do the stump with the little frappe of skin. With the little finger on the end of it?

The little frappe of skin. That's unnecessary. It doesn't do anything. It's usually a finger. Yeah, but you don't need it. Right, they should nip it off. Unless you're playing checkers and you have to move the pieces with the finger. I don't want to suck off your nub. You know what I mean? Just like hit me with it or something. I don't know. You have to involve the nub.

Oh yeah. You can do the nub, but I don't want, when they cut the whole thing off, clean it up, make it nice. I think the difference is, cause I knew a guy who used to be a coke dealer for me in San Diego, and he had a something, it was born with it. So he had no hand on one side,

and there was like some ridiculous, like weird little like water balloon finger things coming off the end of it. And I remember thinking, man, you should shave those bad boys off, because that was the one bit that I didn't want him to touch me with. You know what I mean?

Like, he could touch me with a fucking stump, but if you put that little balloon finger on me, I'd be like, ah, what the fuck? It is weird. Whenever I shake a midget's hand, I immediately have to stop myself from just putting it in my mouth. What?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I feel the same way about fat girls hands. Fat girls. They get a little doughy hand, you're like, ugh. They shouldn't try it.

Fat girls fingers, I want to bite them like sausages. I had sex with these three sisters. One of them was my stepmom's best friend. She changed my diaper when I was like a baby. She had three sisters and it was like some part, like I got older, like I grew, all of a sudden it was like a party at my dad's house and one of them like pretending to fall asleep on my lap and she started like grabbing my dick and I was like There's no way this is happening and I freaked out and went to the bathroom when I went to the bathroom

The other sister comes in the bathroom grabs me pulls me into the spare room I bang her and I'm like, this is crazy And then and so now I'm bagging that one on the regular and then I'm like, this is crazy. And then, so now I'm banging that one on the regular. And then I'm at a nightclub, like a year or two later, and there's a, on the PA, it's like, Jason Ellis is in an emergency. And I'm like, fuck, crazy, you know? And I go to the phone and it's the other sister,

the youngest one. And she's like, there's a party at so-and-so's house. Like, I'll come and get you. And I was like, okay. So she comes in a taxi to get me. And then she makes a taxi pull off in the beach and I fuck her on the beach got sand on my it was weird it was like sand involved I don't know I think she got the worst end of it. I had that same such a fucking under a boardwalk my second time second or third time having

sex on her board I need a bunch of sand in there or a pussy. I think it's worse for them than us, but she takes me back to the other house to bang the other one, and then I tell my dad, because I was working, I was a courier for him for a little bit, and I go, you're never gonna guess who I fucked last night. And he goes, who? And I was like, you know, Jenny.

And he goes, you're joking me. And I'm like, I know crazy, right? He's like, I'm supposed to go to dinner with her tonight. And I was like, wait a minute, aren't you married to my stepmom? Like, and I was like, oh, okay. It't you married to my step-mom? And I was like, oh, OK. It sounds so not perverted with the accent, though. Yeah, it says you're supposed to be doing that.

It goes, that's just Australia, man. My accent, it sounds dirty as shit. Dude, I fucked her on the beach. Her pussy got fucked up. And then I went, oh, and he's like, you know, you did. It's like the C word. We say it smooth. You guys say it harsh.

It's true. You know, I just remember.'s like can't it's not too Tea, you know you put too much tea on it. Come on. Just can't like sick. Can't you know? You're a good can't your top can't It's always a nice thing. Let's move on It doesn't it doesn't your mouth doesn't even make this the shape that a tea makes at the end of it No, we don't we're in a hurry. It's almost yeah, it's almost like cunt. Yeah a little bit it's remembered my friend Travis who was the one who ended up with the missing fingers girl?

I do remember now, because he talked about it on stage, the fingers she had was she had heavy metal on this hand. Oh, hell yeah. Well, that's I love you. And she had... You got the thumb out. You're right. That's emoji.

I do know that. And the other one... I thought you would. And then the other hand had three fingers on it and she gave Travis a handjob. Benzino. Well, Jacob, hang on, this is the question that he asked us. This girl gave him a handjob and this is what she had. Which hand did she use?

Both. Nope. Oh, then the three. Which one? The hand. Which one? The three. This one? You guys couldn't be more wrong. I said the I love you.

Of course. And Jacob, you caught out the answer. Thumb. If this, you're gonna have to wrap around like that, like you're trying to rip out a throat in Roadhouse. That's right. You need a thumb, you need something on the other side to guide the handle on.

The three fingers go in the ass, because you can curl them up and stick them right in yes now if you're getting two things involved yes Maybe a little three finger ball juggle while you're while you're whacking off like this I think it through you didn't think it through I don't you need the thumb to wrap around to hold it like you got hyped up, and you answered quick. It's okay I did I did this is the practice round you're doing good. You're doing so good. Do you always have lollipops? No, I just quit zins Why because I don't want to do them good talk

It wasn't just the zins I like smoking cigars I don't know I know you but the the Zen thing was every day All day long too many. Oh, that's and then and then I was doing this watch. Oh Oh, you were trying to get the juice out hard. I don't I developed this thing and I was doing this, watch. Oh, oh you were trying to get the juice out hard. I developed this thing and I was watching myself, I'm like, ugh, I'm doing this weird thing with my tongue and I was like, I'm out. I got sick last week and in the middle of it,

I was like, I can quit because I haven't done them in two days, so I dropped them out. You stopped smoking weed for how long now? Been a while. Yeah, 15 months. That's great. 15 months. And drinking, you haven't drank in forever. I don't do anything. Yeah, yeah months. That's great. 15 months. How do you drink?

And drinking was... You haven't drank in forever. I don't do anything. Yeah, yeah, but... I don't fuck with... Weed was the last sex. I don't have sex with random people. I don't do shit.

Really? Mm-hmm. How long do you... What's random people? Where does that stop? I mean, if I like you and we hang out and we talk and we have interest in dating each other, then yeah, I'll fuck you. But really, no more like one night just like...

Fuck no....met somebody after a show? I was telling somebody today, I don't know, I think yesterday or yeah, I'll fuck you. But really no more like one night just like Fuck no. met somebody after a show. I was telling somebody today, I don't know, I think yesterday or today, I don't know. I don't really jerk off. Like I'll do sometimes, but I don't, it used to be When you do it, how often do you do it? I had to jizz all the time.

Like I had to jizz at least seven times a day. Really? And I didn't think it was that weird. I was like, okay, it's a little bit over the top, but it's not crazy. And now when I look back, I'm like, you fucking crazy. That was ridiculous. On a day where there was no pussy, seven jerk-offs.

Well, there's not, there's always did I was bi. Yeah. If you're gay and you're on that app, I can get like five dudes over in fucking two hours. You're popping down. Dudes don't, you know, like girls want to talk. Guys want jizz. Yeah. They're whores.

Or, or you have sex with, I had like a list of whores. I hate saying that. Guy whores? No, girl whores as well. So they were all, they had issues too. So they were like, yeah, I'll be over in a minute. So it was like. Guys can't be whores, just guys. They can be, I'm sure.

I think gay guy, I think some, I shouldn't say, I think a lot of guys can be whores, just guys. Uh, they can be, I'm sure. I think gay guy, I think some, I shouldn't say, I think a lot of guys can be whores. I mean, I was a whore, I still have sex now, but I'm not a whore, you know? Right. I was a whore. So there is a difference. I guess I was a whore.

I mean, you fuck one person, right? No. Who are you? I'm married to a, I'm married. Why'd you say you don't fuck? No. Bullshit. I don't.

I haven't, she, I told you that, I said, we're ever gonna have don't fuck? No. Bullshit. I don't. I haven't. She, I told, I told Jada, I said, we ever gonna have sex again? She goes, we will. Aw. No. Listen, here's the thing. No, no, no, I don't wanna hear it.

Here's my plan. It's not cool, man. Hang on. No, you're a good guy, you work hard. Fucking love you. Fucking do a great job. You're a great dad. I've seen you on Instagram.

Thank you, brother. You're fucking doing shit. I deserve it. Fucking take that jizz, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Hang on, did you say jizz? Yeah, man. Take the jizz?

Take the jizz, lady. You heard of take the jizz. Yeah, fucking, no, not you, dude. Well, I might have went down the wrong path. There was a rest stop on the way home. Jason said take that jizz, get over here. That's overrated. He goes, why are you late?

Jason said I could take that jizz. Yeah, dude, I was blowing a guy. I don't know, I think he misunderstood what he was saying. No, dude, he said, I went home, I blew a guy on the sauna all the way home because the rest stopped, and I took that jizz. Yeah, you're right, I should. I tried to a week ago.

What about BDSM? Would you be allowed to go to a... I'm not good with acronyms. I think it's got to do with it. I've asked Bobby that many times. What is BDSM? What is that? BDSM, what is that?

You go to get a mistress, and they torture you a little bit, and then they give you a little bit of a release at the end. Burn your nips and kick you in the dick until you finish. I'm not into torture. Have you had it? I have had it. Because I didn't, oh, OK.

I'm not into it either. I don't even like, uh. I get very angry at the person, like, hey, cut the shit. OK. When a girl goes to play with my nips sexually, it's the, I mean, how fast I like to chop that. Like, dad, we don't need to do that. Yeah, but it's actually, it's the, I mean, how fast I like to chop, like, daaah! We don't need to do that.

Yeah, but there's a lot of different things they can do and you can pick and choose. For sure. I don't know if I'm into, like, the, Louis likes that, she likes when a girl, like, fucking beats him up or slaps him, that kind of shit. Yeah, I don't know. It's not my thing. I would like to be true. It's not the same.

What you're saying is, I feel like you don't know what it is. Maybe not. What is it? Tell us. What you're saying is I feel like you don't know what it is. Maybe not. What does it tell us? Because they have a, they're really good at like doing stuff that isn't sex, like building you up. Like it's like foreplay. What do you mean? On a whole nother level.

There's all, you don't have to get beat. Like I don't know, Mistress, not anymore, but she never beat me up. Like I'd be like, stop hitting me in the face. That's not what I came here for. I'm picturing that I'd be up to one of those X things, I guess naked, and then a lady will come over, super hot, wearing all leather, and then she's gonna tickle my armpit with a feather, and then I'm gonna pee out of my little bird in front of her, because I can't be tickled. I'm gonna pee if I get tickled.

And then we're all gonna come out of her room and go, get out of here, get me off this thing! This mistress has people that goes in a dog cage, and she locks them out for like six or seven hours at a time, and she hasn't allowed them to wait until they're done, and then she's like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, get out of here, give me off this thing. This mistress has people that goes in a dog cage and she locks them up for like six or seven hours at a time and she hasn't allowed them to wake herself up to go in there and let them out,

lets them out, beats them up, puts them back in there for another five hours. And I'm like, that sounds like the worst thing ever. It's all different. Like for me, she did a, like, there's this fucking bed that's like latex with PVC pipe around it and you get in it and it's like you know the meat when you put meat and it suck the air out of the vacuum

seal your vacuum sealed meat and she put a mask on me so I'm blind there's a little hole and she's like she like making out with me a little bit through the hole or whatever but then when I try to breathe that not not when I breathe in, when I breathe out, blocks it. So she suffocates me a little bit. While she's jerking me through the latex shit, I know her. She ain't gonna fucking kill me. And I'm an egotistical maniac. I'm absolutely positive I could rip out of it if I had to. Nice. So I'm probably wrong, but I would... I just think if you explode through that...

I wouldn't like how my dick would look vacuum sealed. Oh, I would. No, Bobby, think about what you're saying. It looks great. Just dick comes out of a hole. No, Bobby, all of our problems. What do we keep saying? What are we trying to raise money for?

So we can get our fucking above our dick area suctioned out. Wait, what? It's not in the thing. Me and Bobby would like to get the top of our dick. Why don't you just eat right? No, listen. This is an infixable problem.

What is your deal, you fucking lazy bastard? This is a different thing. I'm gonna tell you something right now. Animal based, dude. Listen to me, Jason. Do what I do and it will change your body. Jason, listen to me. For my butt-dick area?

Yes, dude. Jason, you don't understand. We've been, you've never been what we have. Your bush fat will stay with you forever, no've never been what we have. Your bush fat will stay with you forever no matter how much weight you lose. Jason you have a beautiful, your torso goes down to a nice flat area where your dick shoots out of it. I've been fat. But have you ever had a fat? Not as fat as you but you could still, you could get the tummy tuck and then get in shape. That's what we're talking about.

That's what we're saying basically. But we want our bush fat. You can't get that and tuck and then get in shape. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about basically, yeah. But we want our bush back. Yeah, but you can't get that and eat shit on top of it. You have to do both. No, for sure. That's what you say. No, you definitely gotta do both for sure or else it'll come back.

You're like Kim Kardashian but a dude. Like you're just gonna get a bunch of shit whacked off. Like go to the gym. I don't understand why these guys don't seem to have dicks. Yeah, maybe it's inappropriate But but and it's not these aren't great examples actually what my concern is. Yeah. Yeah, that's a concern. It's more these are all Go to men man if you try to kill yourself I'll tell you what this if I could you get the guys the only thing is that like it's

Oh, I'll tell you what, if I could get the, that's the only thing is that like it's my belly ends and then I have a waist, but then it's just like, for some reason, like above dick it's just a little sw- if it was just flatter, my dick would pop another inch. I did this diet for my boxing coach. He just wanted me to do 30 days for the, for the team. He's like, you know, be good to post and show the team that you're doing it. I was like, yeah, all right, I'll do it. And it's, it's called the animal-based diet. So it's grass-fed beef, sweet potato, avocado, eggs.

You can have raw cheese, raw dairy. And there's some other technical stuff that I didn't really care to use. But I just had grass-fed beef with rice, a sweet potato, and avocado three times a day. In the morning, I put some eggs in it. So you can't have any processed shit. I started doing that. I've been on testosterone replacement for fucking 10 years.

How great is it? It's not, it's not like I'm already an athlete. So it didn't, I stayed, I got on it before I started to get, I used to get, if I trained too hard, I'd get sick. Like I'd get run down. So when I got on the test, I stopped getting sick so I could keep training. But still if I got hurt and sat around, I got fat. So this changed. And this is the other thing, I'm 53. I'm supposed to lose muscle now. And I've never been bigger. I've never been stronger. I'd like to point it out. Jacob, how old are you? It's just a diet.

Humiliating. Your body I'm saying, it's humiliating compared to Jason's. Compared to Jason's. No, no, no. What are you talking about? You have the best body in this room, hands down. But Jason's here. And now you look like a tiny lady. Jacob.

You guys are fucked up. I don't think that, because we're workout partners, we're bonfire boy workout partners. You work out? I'm training them. I'm training them. We do out, we do on Saturdays, we do the Bonfire Boys. Oh, one day a week?

Well, let's not get carried away. It's one day on the bands with Jacob. I do other days by myself. On the bands? Yeah, and these bands are- We're using rubber band workouts. Like a Typhoon, motherfucker. It's a 15 minute intense workout with only-

15 minutes, whoa! For ladies. Time out, guys! There's no, there's only a 30 second break in between each workout. Christine, are you bringing up surgeries you think I should get? Christine was bringing up ass surgery for men.

That's not what I was saying about. Lollipop. You're dumb dumb. That was the last butterscotch. Motherfucker. You're dumb dumb. I do want to do what Jason's doing. I'd like to put on five more pounds of muscle.

Dude, that diet, it changed everything. Because people, when I started, I had a girlfriend for a little bit, and she had an ex, and the ex goes, you know that guy's on steroids, right? And I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. Because I'm not. He just, yeah, he assumes. But people are like, oh, you're on testosterone.

I'm like, I've been doing that for 10 years Look at a photo of me nine years ago I had because I broke my show I've broke my shit so much from moto and skating and stuff So it was always hard for me to kind of bench press Regularly because I'd always break my wrist on my shoulder. And then when I started this diet, I don't skate the way I used to skate so I'm less hurt But I just got like I was just gonna do it for 30 days, but after 30 days, I'm in the mirror after working out, and I was like, that's, I have a,

why is there a vein in my bicep? I've never had that in my whole life. I'm like, is it the diet? And then I kept going, and I just got bigger and bigger, and I was like, oh, get the fuck outta here. I'm not doing it. Like, when I'm on the road, I'll eat donuts, and like, I had a fucking turkey piece of shit sandwich thing.

But I can, it also makes me feel good. Jason, please don't say turkey piece of shit sandwich thing. That's what I consider doing healthy on the road. Like, why have a turkey sandwich? Turkey's good for you. It's not that hard to do. Like you can do. On the road, it's hard to do a diet.

I bring it. You bring it like in Tupperware? Nah, I bring I found these grass-fed beef jerky sticks and dried mango because I can have dry fruit I can have certain fruits So I just bring bags of it Yeah And when I'm really trying to like I'm getting away with it right now because I've been working out a lot training a lot And I was like fuck it. You're on there. I'm on the road for a whole week So I'm like I ain't trying to bring that many bags of fucking beef sticks,

but I ate some last night, like if I cheat, I'll cheat, but as long as I keep going to the gym, because I think if you do it long enough, then you can cheat. There was a time there at the start where I just wouldn't do it. Like I was on the road for like five days straight and I had these fucking beef jerky sticks and dried mango every day three times a day. Damn. Because I wanted it, dude. That's all it is.

Like, dude, hey, you guys are really good at what you do. How did you do that? Because you really wanted it. Like, fuck off. You didn't just stumble into being like one of the better comedians in the world. Jesus chose me. See what I mean? God chose me. Christ let me the world. Jesus chose me.

See what I mean? Christ let me do this. Christ let me do this, so Lord and saver. Hey, you know what, we gotta take a quick break. We will be right back, everybody. It's the bonfire. Bonfire Faction Talks Series XM 103. Robert Kelly, Big Jay Okerson here.

We're hanging out with the great Jason Ellis. Jason is doing stand-up now Jordan consistently on the road and stuff. It's great. You see The Schumer stuff where she brought they were talking today I watched something today talking about Howard Stern having Schumer talk about the greatness of Madonna getting ready to do stand-up comedy It makes me sick like she hates me Madonna no Why does she why cuz you don't like Madonna? No. Oh, James. Why does she hate you? Why, because you don't like Madonna?

No, she, oh man. She'd call her a con? I was in, I met her a long time ago and I think there was a little bit of a connection going on and then somebody recommended I date her and I was like, hmm, she's a bit chubby. And then she called in, somebody told her, but told her in a way that was a little bit meaner

than what I said. Yeah. And she called in very like throwing like some fucking weight, like what'd you fucking say? And I was like, I said, you're fat. You know, like I didn't, that's not what I said, but I just said that to back my shit up. Cause I was like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to sugar cut.

Yeah. Cause she came in kind of hot. Like I was supposed to go, Oh no, Amy Schumer. And I was like, I said, you're fat. Like, what's up with that? And, and then she kind of got hurt and talked a bit of shit on me and What'd she say? You were really in shape? Who needs an awesome dick that big yeah

Please I felt I felt a little bit bad, but I also felt like it was a when she called in it was definitely She was gonna put me in check and I soon soon as I felt that, I doubled down. Sure, I get that. Well, you gotta, because you're either gonna let her bitch you out, and your fans are gonna be like, you fucking pussy. And if you had heard my original statement, it wasn't, I was just like, if I had to pick a little thing,

and it was before she got bigger. And she's fat as shit now. Now she got a little bit bigger. I mean, she's fat. But discussing Madonna in a way where they're like, dude, she takes her notes on stage She has something to say she said it all this woman has not been able to say what she's thinking forever I can't stand Madonna Madonna's head got fat

She looks like she got a sticker of Madonna's face on a helmet It looks like when you wore the that you bought that mask of me pull over your face Yeah, it's what it looks like. It's like she's wearing, someone else wearing a Madonna mask. Is she 70 or 60? 70 something. I don't know, I'll tell ya. Age 60 is unbelievable.

Maybe the least sexy thing I've ever seen. We saw her in concert not long ago, it was great. We saw her at the Garden, she was great. But really, she was good? The show was great. It's lip syncing though, right? She was not great. She was probably lip syncing a lot.

Not great. The show was great. She's not great. She's great. She's one of left singing a lot. Not great. The show was great. She's not great. She's great. No, right. She's one of the greatest of all time. I disagree.

Oh, God. Wait, she's one of the greatest of all time at what? Pop star. Oh, fuck her. Oh, okay. So she's one of the greatest bullshit out of all time. Sure. Hunk of shit.

Pony. Piece of shit. Wow. That has... She has done nothing her whole fucking career. Bring up the... Everybody else writes her shit, makes her music, choreographs her fucking thing else and John said it Now she's a fat tub of shit with no talent I've never liked her and I'll say it and you guys all back her up cuz she has a vagin

She said women do you hear me? She's a fucking asshole fuck her and I hope she fucking She's good movie. Sorry that one movie before she became famous. I apologize which one that just came out where she was like Madonna What is it? When she? Huh? Desperately Susan? No. Yeah, desperately.

Yeah, not before. When she started to try to be an actress, she sucked. She was so hot when she was young. Yeah, I agree. I loved young Madonna. But no, this thing is very weird. And I will say, when we saw her in concert, great show. But when she got close, and see if you could find that video,

Christine, of her dancing. Like talk about where you see the age now. It's just like an old lady, like, it looks like your auntie dancing at a party. It's so awkward, it's no good. I hope one of those cables come unhooked and she falls off that thing. That will happen. She should get some stem cells.

She seems a bit tight. Yeah, how is she not loaded up with peptides and shit? Does that what happens now? Oh, she's loaded up with peptides. She's doing HGH, too. She ain't doing peptides. That's why her face is so big. You seen Tito Ortiz? Oh, she's getting left. Her skull's growing actually. It grows things

that's why if you have like a condition you get checked before you do the HGH because it'll fucking give you a massive cancer. Her fucking stupid Beyonce. They all suck. But dude, I usually don't. I agree They do. They all suck. I don't usually don't put up They have no talent. Here she is. Yeah, right. She's lip-syncing to horse shit. Yeah, she's got Look at all the bells and whistles. They have to have around man. Is she doing the Donald Trump right there? I see what's going on here. I want that cable to snap. That whole thing to just plummet to the ground

over her front row of fans. Her dancing is so ridiculous here. She stinks. She just doesn't have it anymore. Of course she doesn't. I mean, she was never a good dancer, dude. Wasn't she? Nah.

That was her thing. She was a dancer. She was like a New Yorker. Yeah, that's what she moved to New York for. That's what she moved to New York to be. She's not a dancer, she danced. Yeah, sure. This levels to this shit.

She's not a dancer. But I mean, this. Neither is JLo. That's not good. That's real bad. Christine, don't roll your fucking eyes at me. Look at this tub of shit bouncing. She's holding the rail.

I don't give a fuck. She's holding the rail. She's a tub of shit bouncing up and down. She can't do a squat without holding the rail. Mick Jagger wasn't holding a rail She's a junkie old lady Mick Jagger was the shit Mick Jagger was killing it this Old running all over the Jagger beat the shit out of that. Oh, they have to tie this You have to tie this bitch down like an old shit so in a box

She's still doing the same 43 actually 43 That's younger than me and I can do that right great. She can do River of the dance. Yeah, you can do that I can do that We can all do that top three in the world get the fuck out of here with that shit. Here she comes Well, I wanted to show this other video real quick about like being new in comic So I usually don't put it's not even to shit on another comic. Let's do it because they posted this who?

I know what you're gonna do Natalie Cuomo. Yeah, I know it was that so it was a girl Lewis used to teach his comic I know successful Got a lot of followers same age this video by just like again like there's no one in someone's Question because I'm not yes, of course so a lot of followers successful I don't know her financial success. She's on tour. Yeah. Okay, so a lot of followers success Talent is talent. No, I don't know about town. I'm not familiar with her work that much. All I will say is in this situation This is I saw it this morning. I was like she posted this. Yeah, that's what I find straight If somebody posts this I would actually be like, that fucked up someone trying to sandbag her she did it like this is how much people don't

Just don't have their finger on what's going on in the world or how to handle something if you're gonna show you having an Interaction with an audience member, and you're gonna post it it should be you Dismantling them with like funny shit like oh the guy said a dicky thing This guy in the audience says something shitty to a couple of shitty things to her she frees panics and then has a genuine like girlfriend like screaming in his face and yelling at him and then and then yeah and then walks around the room they start chanting Natalie and then she turns around fine with like a little bit of like a smile like yeah I guess I handled that shit good it's like you look like a maniac you look like a maniac who had no control over the only that was why watch it, please

And maybe a little volume So the guy pause it the guy in the audience says not my fault that you don't have material I guess she's talking to two guys and She's saying why you guys is why you assuming we're a couple. It's not my fault. You don't have any material so So... Oh, it's not that... Wow, you're so... It's not that... Wow, look at you. Yeah. I could leave right now. Well, I could roast you too. You can't just roast all of us and get nothing.

Whoa! Now, pause it also. The audience is retarded. That reaction goes, I could roast you too. And they go, damn! Like, they gotta really say much. Yeah, they gotta really say much either. I think that's being a dick for sure.

Go ahead, please. You can't just roast all of us and have much either. I think that guy's being a dick for sure. But go ahead, please. You can't just roast all of us and have nothing happen. I see. So you were afraid because you felt like I was saying your name. I can take the mic. I can take the mic if you want, the guy says. She edits this too.

Huh? She edits this too, you can tell. It took her longer to come back. Oh my god. It's a's a it's a staring panic Was there an edit in there? I wait cuz there's about to be like before she rebuttals. Yeah, there's a oh, yeah Pause it. Oh, she's already lost. That sentence right there? Her first, she goes, guys, there is, please go back two seconds with the exact line.

I will say this. It's such a hard time in this world right now. Like, you've come completely out of comedy now and go, people, I mean, like, is this how we treat each other when Gaza is constantly in turmoil? It's like, what's the correlation here? Guys, there's so much going on in the world right now. People I mean like is this how we treat each other when Gaza is constantly in turmoil Is like what's the count correlation here guys? There's so much going on the world now sure I'm busting your balls from the stage, and you busted my balls back, but is that what this country's about? She seems like a nice person Sure, oh god. I mean this is just I gotta keep my mom

But what's this she posted this I know but know, but I can't, I can't. Because I don't want old Bobby to come out. Why? Madonna brought old Bobby to come out, and I don't want old Bobby to come out. Did you send her dick pictures, and you're worried she's gonna tell people? She has no connection in my life.

The only connection I was forced to have was when Louis said, this is my new girlfriend, and this is my friend, and she's gonna come over to Max's party, okay, all right. That was my, buddy, my right. That was my buddy my joke That was that was the only connection I've ever had to this fucking human being my now somehow. She's more fucking success She's more successful than fucking me I've been skinny and fat and I made it fat in this business! I published shit and I'm still around!

You did make it fat, you didn't have to be hot or anything. I'm sorry, I need a fucking dum dum. Take a dum dum, dude. I need a fucking dum dum. I need a dum dum. Give me a sec. Like that. Do you want a zen?

Jesus. Maybe a zen would come. Dude, I'm good, man. I'm good, I'm good. You know what's funny? I made the, that was the joke I made at the roast of Louis. I need a butterscotch. I need a butterscotch.

I need a butterscotch, dude. This is getting me nuts, I gotta keep my mouth shut. When we were down in Texas. Fucking Madonna's doing fucking comedy. She's taking spots at the cellar! Cause another fucking tub of shit! Okay, I'm sorry. Oh!

I'm gonna be just doing Skankfest. That's my only gig for the fucking year. Every year. Hey, fucking asshole, Bobby's in a tent and he does some fucking jokes. Yeah. Um. Ah!

Dirty fucking years. Well, it's gotta be more than that. More than that. Um, I'm 27. More than that and she fucking. She's doing great. Guys, are we fucking, eh. They're not comedian fans.

Well, the fucking Salonaut Realm is making a lot of fucking comedian money. Well, they are. I think they're fans like Twitch and her playing video games in underwear. Yeah, dude, they're not. But anyway, the point of this is the... They post this.

That's what's strange, but I made that joke at Skank Fest South at the Lewis roast where I was like, Lewis's trajectory always is like, there's a young girl comic who I've never heard of before, then I hear from her because Louis likes her, then Louis dates her, then she has to become family somehow, she's involved in everything I do. And then one day I have to hate her because she hates him,

and then one day without telling you, him and her somehow are friendly again, and I've been weird with them for the last six months. Just trying to be a real friend. Do you have any conversations I've had with Max? for the last six months. Just trying to be a real friend. Yeah, you're like, oh. Do you have any conversations I've had with Max? No, she's not around no more. No, she's not.

She's like, oh, but I liked her ass. She's not dead. We all did, bud. We all did. Yeah, I know. God damn it. This gets worse. Oh, it can't get worse.

It gets awesome. Go ahead. It does get awesome. You know what? That might be the better description of it. I may be wrong. It may get awesome. There's such a hard time in this world right now. Right now now there's so many people that came together to be supportive and fucking amazing.

And you're putting negative, no fucking look me in the eyes, you're putting negative fucking energy out here. This is the last show of my fucking, look me in the fucking eye. This is the last show of my fucking weekend. This is the last show of my fucking weekend. This is a sold out show and you want to say mean shit to me, okay? So don't fuck with you guys. Bobby, Bobby, no. Sit down.

I'm leaving. It's over, James. It's over. Should never say why are you saying mean things to me to the audience? Is that what you're wondering? Where are we? saying mean things to me to the audience is that what we're doing? We're gonna fucking make fun of each other? We're gonna fucking each other? Huh? Look at me! Look at me! I'll do it! I'll do it!

You got me right to the last show of my life! Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it! I need to fuck that. Bobby, you need to dumb dumb, buddy. Your heart's gonna pop. Should I go back? We should probably go back because you have to make sure when she's reprimanding a man to look at

Her in the face Comedy court Trump get involved in comedy. This is my belief Patrice O'Neil died and took all the integrity of comedy with How big was that casket we were able to fit so much integrity of comedy in there? How big was that casket we were able to fit so much integrity of comedy But here's what we've also lost here's we've also lost and I won't do this because I know Natalie I think that he's a sweetheart She does seem like we can only do hey Natalie Good good good for you. No hey well. I didn't say that I'm chimpanzee in this Natalie good Good Natalie Natalie

Good good Give it. I don't give a fuck anymore. No, but here's the thing good. That's what this was. That's what we need We're not what Patrice to what Patrice took was this He would vocal honesty. Yes She would be afraid when Patrice was in a comedy club Because if this came out and he got his like hands on to make fun of it he would be so he didn't care if she was also like that guy's just an asshole he didn't care cuz he was gonna go out there and say like you're wasting people's time like you Bob I he would

just be that guy who said he goes and you're not it's not funny and you're not gonna get funny enough to ever make this make sense for you and like and they just be like and then at the end of the day like somehow they'd still respect they'll be like he's a piece of shit but they still have to respect the comedy and who is just to live with I just can't I can't do that I just would smile I go I go oh you're selling out theaters like that's fucking good that's cool shit no we shouldn't choose to walk in and live with Al Del Beny and will serve answer walk in Al Del Beny's room every morning knocking the door hey Al we're gonna have breakfast. Dude, you should quit the business.

And Al would laugh, he'd go, no, I know you think I'm kidding, I'm serious. You don't got it. You just don't have it, you should just quit. Find something else, dude. Acting or something, you go with people, but you call me, you're not a good stand up, you should quit. And then he would, he'd go, okay,

I'm just gonna let you know every day. And he would shut the door, every day he would tell him that. Hilarious. But we've just, that's gone. Like no one's gonna just... He's gonna be embarrassed to see his face anymore. It's also because the thing, which I do understand too, you don't wanna be... LA had this much worse than New York at a point.

And I think New York has it too. Completely in LA. Because when Kevin Hart first moved out there, he told me the difference in the two places was he was like, and he used music, he goes he goes Jay if you started wearing a half top tomorrow and that was like your thing on stage fat guy in a half top he goes when you went to New York to the Comedy Cellar with that and went there he goes you had Bobby Patrice Norton Colin all those guys were there to shit on you tell you what a terribly shitty idea it is and like come at you for that and bust your balls

till you got your shit together and stop doing that dumb thing And he says in LA the idea was more like he said they would have come up to me and been like dude I love the new thing you're doing That's so brilliant because because they're like if this stupid thing that I think sucks pops Yeah, I want to be on that list when it goes He's casting that sitcom now that he got cuz that don't and they worry about that I think that's made its way to New York You don't want to like take down because like well, you know, if I if I say how I really feel about this guy who's selling out

Whatever I'm not gonna be asked to the party. But here's the thing though. She put this up I gotta watch the end of it. Is it more of this? Oh god, please just go To be supportive and fucking amazing and you're putting negative no fucking look me down I can't Blow a snot rocket on her while she did that. Frank. Dude, the fact that she had to go, it's a sold out show, makes me sick to my stomach. Because everybody is here.

I have made $37,000 this week. And you're not going to ruin that? Come on now. You want to say mean things to me. It's a crazy thing for a comic who's selling out rooms to ever have a position where you go and you're just gonna say mean stuff. I'm not saying the sentence itself. That's the live and die.

That's right there. I'm doing this and you're gonna say mean things to me. Not saying something funny or mean or bad. It's the sense. I gotta get through this. Yeah, I'm sorry. My apologies. I gotta get through this.

Just go. She really gets him back though. Please go. I gotta get through this. Yeah, I'm sorry. My apologies. She really gets him back though. Please go. I'm gonna throw up. Okay? So don't fucking do that! Wait, wait till you see this sick guy. Oh god, she's walking around like she's You cannot at that point go back to being funny. I know you're saying why start now, but she couldn't But I mean, how do you how do you come out that goes it's the fuck I'm talking about it so

Dating's crazy. Let's go back into material. Hey, you guys ever been to the zoo? By the way, go back. That's my fair part. She's flustered. This smile, and we just know this. We know this from the same performance. That smile is the audience broke the tension for me by starting that chant. So it's like, now, she's like, in her mind, same thing, she goes, what the fuck could I possibly do now to get out of this? The audience saved her ass there big time.

So she turns around with that kind of like, I know, right, people? The only thing I hope is this is eight minutes into her set and she has 50 minutes left. That would be fantastic. Dude, this guy hated her in two minutes. That would be fantastic. This guy hated her in two minutes. Mellowly, Mellowly, Mellowly, Mellowly, Mellowly, Mellowly.

You know what really kills me? That's Legion of Skanks fans, just the way they're doing that. That's Legion of Skanks fans that knew her through Lewis, that stayed with her because she you know would play video games With her tits out Yeah, not naked stuff. I don't think No, no that was she did like a thing on a magazine years ago Well, you know I told you her YouTube special remember her YouTube special has an audible fart in it

Let's not forget that an audible fart from the audience The heckler is just giving her his phone he's so confident lol what a fucking clown i did warn you i was dead kicked out man she is sensitive especially for a comedian i mean yeah what's she writing back how dare you no she flips him off payback zing he'll think twice about that

man he even burns her on text jason ellis is gonna be at Laugh Boss, then, I believe. Natalie Cuomo, show added. Laugh Boss is actually tomorrow, so I'll tweet it out, but it's going to come out on Thursday. Laugh Boss, oh, it's coming out tomorrow. So we'll tweet it today. I'll tweet it today. We'll tweet it today.

San Diego on deck, February 8th, San Francisco, March 5th, Sacramento on March 6th. After that, Poughkeepsie, New York, Chicago, and Nashville. For tickets and all tour dates, go to thejasonellis.com. Poughkeepsie, you doing Laugh It Up? Yep. Very cool, you gonna be back in New York that time? You gonna come to the city again? I'll go all the time.

I'll go when anyone else is gonna do anything, I go. No, but I'm saying when you come to do Poughkeepsie, you should come to New York for a couple days again Okay, make the rounds sounds good. I'm gonna make sure you check out the Jason Ellis show wherever you listen to podcasts Patreon.com slash Ellis mate very nice Ellis mate patreon.com slash Ellis mate Robert Kelly's gonna be a governor's in Levittown New York February 7th and 8th after that Naples Philadelphia Denver Colorado and every Tuesday night, 7pm, the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge, the Comedy Cellar. For tickets and all their tour dates, go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly and his new

YouTube channel, YouTube dot com slash at Jay Robert Kelly Comedy. Can I just say on this show that I want to thank you for when you gave me that spot in Ontario. Oh yeah. That was the first time that I ever, in my opinion, did well. It was great. And it was the thing where I was like, you should, you're not, because I think before that I was like, you might, you might suck balls. And that day I was like, you know what?

Keep working. Something's going to happen here. Hey Jay, do that during his plugs not mine Fuckin nice story anyways, I'll be in Punch up dot-laps last Robert Kelly YouTube calm comedy. I'm just gonna read it again because they lost him in that fucking love story He just told thank you for starting me in the business I'm not gonna let you get away with it. We let Natalie get away with it not you cocksucker. Hey Listen, don't fucking talk to me like that, you're bringing negative energy! Fuck you! Fuck you and your negative energy!

Give me your phone! Everybody come see me in Orlando and Syracuse and Ontario, California again everybody. Indianapolis, Baltimore on deck, bigjcommy.com, very important. It looks like February 20th everybody. Thursday, February 20th will be the official release of them. The first half of them. They, my new double crowd work special coming out on YouTube. It's yes, Christine, I'm correct.

Don't worry. I've discussed this at length. We have trailers, we have deezers coming out for it, so stay tuned for all that shit. BigJaycomedy.com, PunchUp.live, slash BigJayOkerson. Piven. Yeah, Piven's back. Thank you so much Jason for being with us guys, and we will catch you guys Next week right here on the bonfire