The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Looking For Daddy

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

Jay has a brilliant idea for a lewd tattoo and needs to sketch it out in real time so he doesn't forget it. Bobby and the gang judge his artwork, suggesting edits to improve on it. | Jay gives DJ Lou an indecent proposal to prove that he not only knows what the vas deferens is, but also how to locate it. | Bobby is disappointed to find out that he's too fat for skinny jeans. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Wait, do you have to get up? I do my thing. Can you do it? My pants are too tight. Can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do my move.

I think I'm going to take Billy Bob Thornton advice and get some girl jeans. Why? Because my lower torso is very thin. And I saw a photo myself. And my jeans are very baggy. No No Let's try it

Let's see what happens Buddy Bobby What are a little thin gene Skinny gene What do they call them? People have done this before Fats have tried this before In their life Bobby

You almost made me Spint my body brain out in your face I just gave fats Have Tried this Do you think I would have gotten Testosterone boost through my eyes Fats have tried this before The fats have tried this many times before

Bob Yeah yeah I'm telling you It never works out The skinny gene fat guy You have to be thin Up top you have to be so thin up top.

Right. So I got to wait. Like a Lewis build would work better and skinny. They would look terrible on him. They do. He has skinny jeans and it looks like he has birthing hips. Yeah. But because he literally turns into like a big Mexican woman.

But he's not, but he's not what me and you become, Bobby. He's like the Rock's mom. What me and you become is a meatball on toothpicks. That's where you're coming. You know what I'm saying? Lewis can come like a melting thing of ice cream. But me and you look. like fucking it's bad what is that though that looks pretty good there right jay it's a i oh it's a

all right well just said it's a i god damn i didn't see that and those aren't even skinny jeans for yeah i don't want to look like a meatball on toothpicks there was a guy i don't want to look like an ador ador oh we used to follow we used to follow on the show years ago before the paul brothers went uh became respected members of sports entertainment they really are they are before that when they were just a crew of shitheads in a house I think probably date raping their girlfriends Really? Probably Probably

Probably some sort And you know Messing with sacred Japanese ground Yes and also Probably trying gay stuff with each other All this stuff you think Yeah They had an influencer house

That they all lived in Which we should get by the way We should get one of their friends in that If you could bring up What's the Team 10 video It's everyday bro If you watch this video This is Jake Paul

And then when they thought they were little rappers at their influencer house, you'll see the guy who you become quick. And you remember this, Jacob? This was a, I said, I named the guy. I called this guy. I said, this guy's name is guys' weight up. Because you could see.

Yeah, go ahead. Play it. Play the video. Give him a little taste. Get to where it's nighttime outside in the video. You could jump ahead. Once it's the nighttime. Those are the two shithead twins that used to cry.

Yeah, the crying shithead twins. Oh, God. And you're about to see him. There he is, Bobby. There he is. Yeah. I don't want to be that guy. You don't want to be guys weighed up.

Look at him. He has to stand by teenage boys and point at them. Yeah, it sucks. He still has to wear a jacket, though, to hide that side fat. Absolutely. Look how far his shirt's coming out from his pants. This guy, you're going to try to get me to believe just came out of that fucking Lamborghini Kuntosh.

I doubt it. I doubt it. I don't see scuff marks on the wheel wells because that's what would happen if he got in that. So funny. If me and you tried to pull something like that would be the end of our career, What you mean? They did it. That's not true.

Let's get an influencer house. Oh, an influencer house. We could definitely make a rap video. Let's get it in a bad neighborhood though. Like in Newark. By like a and just have the outside be shitty but the inside be sick. Hear me out. Yeah.

If we pool our money together. Yes. We together can be like an influencer. Yeah. Like to get, I can't get a fucking Lamborghini with fucking Nickelode. and paint all over it. I can't. You can't.

Nope. Together, I think we can. We can get a used Lamborghini. It's not going to be used. We have to go new. You have to get a custom job the whole thing.

But we got to do it together. Like I said, we'll get a new one. Yeah. What about two used ones? That's not every day, bro. They're renting Lamborghinis. Yeah, they rent all this. They're all renting.

Yeah, we just rent it for the video. For the video. Yeah, we're not going to, well, we can't drive it. First of all, there'd be a fantastic video of me and you skinny jeans and a Lamborghini Cuntosh is really funny. Trying to get out. Oh, my God, dude. We're, like, sardines.

We'd have to have, like, helpers get us out and in the car. We need the jaws of life to get us out of the car without an accident. We need those. He goes, uh, yeah, guys, I knew I had a feeling I shouldn't close the door when I sat down, but I did anyway. I fucked up. I knew I should have to not close the door, but I did close the door. We'd have to get those, you know, the little cranes at the pools for the crippled people?

We'd have to one of those at our house just to get us in and out of the car. Absolutely. I got in a guy's Lamborghini outside of Nashville's Aeney's. And I said it and he goes, when we take you around the block, I went, no. Yeah. And he was like, no, you don't want to see if I go, no, no, no. I go, because I'm not, I'm going to feel guilty the first minor bump we hit and my side of the car drags your muffler off.

He's going to go, oh, speed bump. I'm going to go. Fuck, that was probably me, dude. I feel like that was on my side. I feel like it was right under me, if I'm being honest. If I'm being completely honest, I think it's right. It's like going to Home Depot and putting cement in the back of your truck. It's every day, bro.

I don't like those cars. I hate Lamborghinisies, all those little fast little shit cars. I hate them. They're the most uncomfortable ride. Austin Martin sucks. I thought you're going to say ugly because they're not. They're so beautiful and cool looking, but I have. no, and I understand

the Josh, Adam Myers, Jacob being like, yo, I'm super in like exotic sport car ideas because like you'll look cool in them because it's like around you. You know what I mean? Like it's going to, if I got in any sports car, I feel like I'm going to look like

like it's going to seem like one of those old cars, you know where there is no windshield. You're just sitting out of it like a gentleman. Yeah, you're going to look like McGillagherrilla. Driving gloves and maybe a driving maybe a driving scarf. I mean, I wear like some leather goggles over my eyes when I drive it. Yeah.

That's how I feel I'm going to look at it. Hey, Jay, how are you? You have to keep the crank in the back back to start at the engine. You have to have a blanket over your lap like Jacob in the studio. So I don't catch diphtheria? I've never got into one of these cars. I remember Dane had the James Bond, Aston Martin. And I got, I hated, I hated getting it.

Of course. Every, just driving, it was like, vhm, your head would snap. Two seats. It was loud, obnoxious. It would pop it. Like, you stop signs. And it sucked getting in and out. It was not comfortable.

It was fucking annoying. If I was rich, I would get a Rolls-Royce. And I'd get a driver. I'd rather pay a driver to get me like a Mibek, a Mercedes or something. Maybach. Yeah, is it Maybach? Yeah, with that, where I could sit in the back seat and luxury, go to sleep. Isn't Maybach involved in 15 different kinds of cars, though?

I've heard people say Maybach. Oh, they sponsor. Serbac cars. Like an Eddie Bauer edition of a car. They have a Maybock version of a car. There's like a Maybach Mercedes, right? Yes, Maybach is Mercedes, but they have like, yes. I do, I would like, if I could get any of these little shitty cars, the Corvette Stingray.

The old one? The old one. I do like that car. Corvett Stingray. My dad had one of those from that. Did he really? Which dad? A biological dad

Your biological dad Yeah yeah Well my stepdad That was in lieu of birthday presents My stepdad The one that used to hit me That was his dream car He had the Monte Carlo S S

With the spoke wheels And he used to make me wash The car with him That was like my treat And then I'd get a ride Fuck him And he was like Somebody I'm gonna

If I, because of you guys I can't get my Corvette He used to blame me and my sister It is because of two of you 100% He was just right I mean he was speaking fucking bleeding them dry of cash.

I mean, we were expensive to have kids that aren't yours. There, right there. I'd hit you, too. Oh, look at that thing. Yeah, my dad had one of those. Love it. Yeah. 18,000.

Jay, buy that for me. Okay. Get it. 76. Good luck getting parts. I hope that goes, by the way, it's not in great condition. Here's the thing with these cars. Not that fast, some of them.

They're not really. Really? No, they just, they look like, you know, it's like one of those Mustangs. They were, they were just, cool looking. My buddy John has always had a Corvette in his adult life would be his like car and he's the one that's in the military.

Yeah. And it's just so like it really is, it goes along with the mentality of like military as well. Do you know what I mean? It's like I want to pull up in a fucking Corvette, an American made muscle car. And then you know, getting in my fucking Apache helicopter. It's such an

American thing. Any time you see a Corvette on the road, look in the car you're going to see a guy that look just like me driving it. Yeah. A gray beard, bald. Well, not this. Not my buddy John.

He's, uh, he was, uh, throughout, I mean, now he's my age. He's two years older than me. Most guys that get those car are dudes like me at some point. They get an extra 20. Yeah. And they just go buy one of these. I saw one guy, dude, I almost fucking pulled over and beat him up. He had driver's gloves on.

Yeah, perfect. I was like, you fucking piece of shit. Oh, you're mad at him because you don't have a leather smith? You're, you're in the, you're in the, the middle lane on a highway doing 55 and you're wearing driver's gloves? You fucking loser. Your wife sucks.

And maybe a cap? Maybe a nice cap on his head? I will get one of those, I will get one of those Corvettes before I die. Even if it's for a year, just to have it. Yeah? Well, I want to get it because that fucking piece of shit that used to beat me got it.

He wound up getting one. It made me very happy that he was too fat to fit in it. He had to sell it. He got too fat, but I would like to get one just because that was his thing. He blamed me for not being able to get this stupid car And I would like to just get it and have it Are you going to tell him?

Yeah, I'm going to go to his house I'm going to actually give it to him What's the point of getting the spite thing If it doesn't it's not going to settle anything in your mind It's not going to settle anything but it will actually make me feel good That I get it That I got it I worked out hard

I have a kid I have a family and I got it It's all worthless Yeah it is all worth All those things you're saying is completely worthless to get to what you're trying to do with this. Sometimes you can have fun with worthless stories if you just go with them. No, those, no, no. You can kill this dream or you can be part of it.

I will not be part of this. I will not be part of this. I will buy it for me so I can live this dream out. I'll buy it for you. Thank you. If you use it, Bobby, you're talking a bunch of fucking Nancy nonsense. I'm talking about taking it out there. You'll spit my body green.

What are you doing today? And exchange and exact revenge. You take the fucking sting rain. You go to his house. You drive through his fucking. You drive through his front window. You drive through his porch. And then fucking tee bag him.

Teabag him. Do a burnout. Fucking French kiss his new wife. Yeah. Suck his dick. Suck his dick a little bit. Suck his dick. Tell him like, why wouldn't you molest me?

Would you have to suck his dick? I'd rather get hit. I'd rather get hit to get my dick sucked by him. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Would you rather get hit or have you suck his dick? Hang on one.

That's where I was going. I put, let me take the him out. That was very specific. I hear what you're saying. I would rather get hit than get molested. Yeah, 100% by anybody. No. Yes.

No. I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to. You rather get viciously beat than molested by a woman? Well, you talk, a woman? Well, you said by anyone, you said. I meant any man. Any man? Any man, I'd rather get hit.

At least you get some, you know, you get a little hardened from it. It helped me out later in life. Well, you're going to get hard either way. That's true. You know what? Let me recant that. Jacob. Stop it. Why, what would you rather? You'd rather get molested than hit? No, I guess I'd rather get hit. Did you ever get hit? Do you ever get beat?

No, never beat. Did you ever get molested? No. Come on. Nope. No one molested you? No. I was right there for it too. My daddy issues, looking for it out there. My step-pop could have wailed on my ass if he wanted to.

But you know what? Too much of a pussy. That sucks, man. I'm sorry you never got molesting. You hear that, Joe, if you're out there listening? You were too much of a pussy to molest me. I wouldn't have said nothing. I wouldn't even look weird at you across the table when we were having dinner or anything. I would just put it away.

I would just tuck it deep away. You've been practicing get molested since you're a little kid. That's what tummy time is all about. You're still waiting for that guy to come in and stick it in your butt in a hotel room. Tummy time, wide open. Sometimes in a, there's a little confession session here. Sometimes in a hotel room Midday

I'll just Fucking poo bear completely Dick and balls No Just just waist down Shirt on Shirt on Dicking balls out

Legs wide Really letting my asshole and ball bag breathe Just waiting for one of your dads to come in Maybe And finish the job that he never did Maybe That sucks Looking for daddy

So sad I should get that tattooed around my asshole Looking for daddy It'll say above my asshole Looking And then F R on either side So my asshole is the O Looking for

Daddy around the bottom Of the circle That's a fucking great tattoo I want to draw it Before I forget it Was there any woman out there That would get that tattoo Jacob

You ever get molested No God damn Are you sure Yeah You have molestation Like vibes No

No Lou, black people don't molest, right? Oh, they do. They do, but I have not, no. Yeah, didn't you ever see Precious? They totally do. They molested, I never saw the movie. They molested the big girl?

Her mom was molesting her. Molesting the fat one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was making her eat her pussy. Oh, man. It was pretty crazy. Well, thank God it wasn't either way around. What do you mean?

If she made the mom eat her pussy, if the mom was like, I want to eat your pussy now. Well, the mom was Monique, so either way, you're getting a pretty fat ugly pussy. That's a good point. You have to lift something up to get to it. Lou, you ever get molested? No, boring.

Yeah, me neither. Bobby, you did get molested, didn't you? And you're dying to tell us. I did. Who was he? No, wasn't he? And do you still send him birthday cards? I do.

But we send, like, funny ones. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're over now. You're adults. It's fine. Yeah. Last year I actually dressed up like I dressed up the day he molested me.

And I was like, hey, I just said, hey, remember this? Happy birthday. It's our birthday. Oh, my God. I sent this to him on the molestation day. This is going to be all the rage of a tattoo. Please take this, inspect it, and tell me if you think this that more than one person will get this.

Now, if you could describe, please, what you see. Well, it is a firm bubbly buttocks. I get to get credit on that. It's gorgeous. He's bending over. Bending over, a nice little pud, not too full, not too small, not too big. Well, it's from behind, so you see it's ball bag in the foreground. Jacob, you'll notice I put the ball bag in the foreground and the dick coming from behind it.

I'm dying to see this. It's great. But you also, what you did do, you put an uneven seam, which I do like. I put the seam going a little sideways. And also, if you notice, you are seeing the underside of a dick helmet. Yeah, you got the helmet and you got the seam. And the seam is nice because they have one ball is, like, bigger than the other, which balls are. Well, it's the way he's sitting.

Yeah, it's like, one's hanging a little. lower, which I do appreciate. And then you go right to the hole. There's a hole, an asshole with, I mean, the attention to detail, he put the little wrinkles around the asshole. I mean, wouldn't be an asshole if didn't a little wrinkle. I mean, yeah, some guys might just put the hole, but that's not an asshole. Now it's stupid. You have the little wrinkles. You wish you just had an asshole jetting out of flat skin. It's impossible. No way. And then you have the above the asshole wrinkles, which I do appreciate, not in the wrinkles, above the wrinkle, looking with a capital L, not all capitals,

which I think would be too much. Did I not do all capitals? I thought I did. It should all be capitals, if I made a mistake. Well, it looks like little O's and a little... No, it is all capitals here. But the little O's, you might have made a little bigger. I'm sorry.

I like it with the big L. I like it. Okay. And then capital F on the left side of the shrinkta. Capital right on the right side of the balloon knot. And then underneath, D.A. D-D-Y. Just the

accuracy where the lettering is placed is gorgeous, looking for daddy. You know what? Can you have one more second, Bobby? I would maybe make the F and the R a little bigger to match the asshole. You made the asshole like a big O. Well, I think the big problem

what I'm doing here is I got to make like some hand. Hand holding it open. That's holding the asshole. Why would his asshole be so taught? You know what I mean? And put a little crease up at the top to show the asshole separation,

Maybe. The asshole separation? Up the top, just a little line like that, you know what I mean? I mean, it's just to, I mean, look, creatively you do what you want. You're the artist, I'm just saying. You're just thinking a little more line. Just a little line up at the top just to show me this is. The cheeks are opening here.

Cheeks are opening. Maybe a little up the bottom too, I think. Maybe a little bit. Yes, sir. Sorry. Are you wearing a Kelly Clarkson t-shirt that just says Kelly, Kelly, Kelly? It's Mrs. Kelly Kelly. No, it says, I would never do that.

It's Mrs. Kelly Kelly, Kelly. because that's her name. That will be her name someday. When we get her in here, it's called Mrs. Kelly Kelly. So if you say it, if you see it, you can have it. Do you understand how that works? Yeah, yeah. I'm putting it in the universe that someday, maybe she might not be, we might not get married,

but we will have some type of affair, some type of dalliance. I want a dalliance with Kelly Clark. She takes your last name. It's more than a dalliance. You know, this is just, I have to. I have to put it out there like, you know, as much as I can to get something. You understand? You don't always get what you want.

You get what you need. Thank God you don't get what you deserve, right, Lou? Come on, guys. Yeah, this is my shirt. I love it. T-shirt, Kevin. Oh, she looks so happy as Mrs. Kelly Kelly. She loves being Mrs. Kelly.

Yeah, unlike my wife who fucking has a face like she smells shit, but she doesn't know where it is pretty much all the time. Sure. When she comes in, Bobby, how would you like us as producers to big you was? I want you to just say, I don't want it to go crazy. I just want you to say that there's one of the hosts of the show. One of the hosts of the show has been a fan of yours forever, thinks you're one of the best singers on the planet and is really just loves everything you do.

And this means so much to him that you're coming in. But you have to describe me. You have to say, it's the bald one. I don't want her to come in and think it's Jay for a second. Okay. You know what I mean? And then when Jay says some snarking smart about her pussies and the tips being too small. Come on.

You know what I mean? You might. You might do it. Not the way I behave. But you're always trying to get the funny. And I want you to like present it like that. Don't go overboard because I don't want to fucking scare her. I made some basic fixes.

He made, first of all, basic fixes, you put your face in it, which is great. Yeah. Between the legs, you know, I'm bending over completely. And you made an O face. Like, oh, put it in here, Dad. Well, I'm looking for Daddy. You made a little more crease up at the top, so now it's spread open.

And you also gave a little two creases on the bottom. A little bit of low back, a little bit of under butt. Yeah, and you put, which I love, you put the hands in there. You put Muppet fingers. Yeah. Muppet hands. I had to go quick. I'm not good with hands.

Yeah. Yeah, you're really not. You're great with an asshole, though. I tell you that. And you put a little of the back in there. A little back in there, which I appreciate. and you put boots on. You put Timbs.

Yeah, nice little Timbs and some socks. Some thick socks and Timbs. A little socks and Tims and you gave a little crease behind the knees, which I like. And you gave you a little juicy calves in there. Yeah. I mean, at this point, I'd suck my own dick. It seems like I'm right there, but Bobby, I'll be on, trust me, that's a perspective thing. Yeah, it is a perspective.

It looks like the dick's right there, but I assure you it's not. Yeah, I think this is ready. I think this is ready for prime time. Senator David. Jacobs is our executive producer. he has to approve all photographs. Jacob, thoughts? Now, Jacob, I don't know if you heard Bobby,

but you'll notice that the asshole is the O and four in looking for Daddy. Oh. Now, did you want the O to be bigger for the effect than the F and the R? I think it was, I think an Oreo Speedwagon font style, it's going to be, yeah, the word four is going to be a little bigger font. than looking in daddy.

Well, the F is a little smaller than the O. The F and the R are a little... It's going to be... Well, it does add to the funny, yeah. I might darken that up a little bit, make it a little bigger to match the O. I love the scrotum stitching. Oh, the scrotum...

First of all, the seam in the ball bag? The scrotum... People forget the seam in a ball bag all the time. Not me. That's where God shows you up like a builder bear. That's right. That's your Frankenstein.

Fantastic. I could never draw that. Luke, can we put that out there for the fans to have to judge? Don't be true. Don't be, don't say it as you. Can we take a picture of that? I just don't have your talent. Bobby, you can draw really well too. Yeah, but what I found out with Jay is Jay is a secret artist.

Jay had it could have done another career. When you guys were drawing that, what's the woman with a cock? Ooh, you almost had a, oh, you almost said it. Oh, uh, Rose. Emily. Emma Rose. Emma Rose. Not that I follow her on Twitter.

I mean, you're... Well, Bobby calls her Emily because he's gotten close. Your portraits were fantastic. I call her Emmy. Emmy dog. Yeah, she had a nice body. Damn.

Yeah, that's her. She is. God damn. She's like guessing my fingers now so much. Bobby, I didn't do the fingers because I drew the ass. It's all right. You need a thumb in there. Thumbs would be...

Well, no, the thumbs would be on the other side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm spreading like this. So the proportions are right. Yeah. It's just the... An artist knows... When to stop, Jay, also.

You know, I know. You can go too much. I know, but right now what I'm going to do is I'm going to make it. It's going to look already better, Bobby, and you'll admit this. It's going to look already better because what I'm doing is the lines that I'm having a problem with I'm now turning into, I'm spreading my ass wearing my signature knuckle gloves. Can I say this is the, this will never be approved, but it should be. This is the Christmas poster. Should be.

Why wouldn't it be approved? The suits. Bobby, now can you, oh, no, I don't have any, I don't have any hair on my, This is the greatest, this would be the greatest Christmas poster ever. Yeah. And we could all be underneath him like presents under a tree. Sure. Yes.

Exactly. Yes. Perfect. Now we're thinking about out. I want to say first. Now, this is the kind of brainstorming I like that we do. I'll send this to Big Jim, but I don't know. The mittens, you solved the problem because I did, I didn't want to say it had a problem with the line going through.

It's like, it's like. It's problem with drawing and pen. You can't make, you can't make any mistakes. It's true. But the fact that you made the F and the R darker. Because when I took design in college Because I was, you know RISD.

I was going to be an artist, art teacher, and what you want them to look at first. You know what I'm saying? You want them to go right to that asshole and go, what is that? And then go, oh, their asshole. There's something tattooed on their assail. Design-wise, this is perfect now.

Yeah. Because we're going to see four. You're going to see the asshole. And then you're going to go right to looking for daddy. Jacob, last looks before I darken this thing up and we get it out there than that. Any other notes, Bobby? Real quick.

Hmm. Hmm. I mean, yeah. No, I don't. I think it's perfect. Okay. I think he nailed it. Jacob.

I think he nailed it. I mean, the mittens, you made it personal. Yeah. The mittens in the boots. It's definitely you. Shall I say, you looked naked before.

Yeah. Yeah. This is you. Now you're you. It's me now. Let me darken that up a little bit, Jacob there, get this out of Black Lou so we can get this out to the people. Is there any way that you could...

Get Black Lou to send us from his personal account and confuse his family? I don't know. Maybe. Should send that to your dad? My father? Well, see what he says. Why don't you send it to my dad? I haven't talked to him in a long time. Okay. All right. Let's see, my little knees.

You know, I feel a little more muscularity in my calf, maybe. Do you have muscular calves? Yeah, I can do that. Yeah. Your calf is a little thin at the ankle and then it goes to pure ball of muscle. Yeah. Yeah, I got to get that little...

You got to get a little line behind the calf too, yeah? Yeah, I got to take the calf in a little bit. Don't you have a calf tattoo? Is there any tattoo you... Other tattoo you could throw in there? Fuck. I do have a calf tattoo on this one. Which is that one? Which would be this one.

Let me do that real quick. Simple one. Just a little... Little something, right? Just a... It's a... It's a... It's a...

It's great. This is beautiful. And if somebody does wind up getting this, you get to come into the studio whatever you want. But we have to- If somebody gets this, not the tattoo of the whole picture, but you do that. No. I got to get you tickets to everything the rest of my life. If you get a picture of me spreading my asshole tattooed on you.

But if you get the tattoo that says looking for daddy tattooed around your asshole the way I have shown. Yeah, you get to come in the studio. Guy or girl. Yeah. Preferably guy. Well, the guy's funny here for sure. Guys hilarious. Look at that bottom helmet, man.

I really did a good job with that. That is the underneath of the helmet. No doubt. Is there a little thing you could put in there just to... Put some little hairs on my legs. I'm not perfect. Yeah, won't you... Yes, my own?

On the helmet, could you add a little dot at the top? I did. You didn't know, you did. I didn't see that. I always put a little dent for a pee hole. Yeah, a little p-hole. When drawing a dick guys, no matter what perspective, is everybody listening?

Lou, please. Oh, hello? Lou, Lou, the artist is talking. You want listening? I need you to listen then. Look at me. I'm sorry. We're not.

eye contact is hard for me when drawing a penis, Lou. No matter what perspective you're looking, you always got to do a little indentation for the pee hole. That's just how Dick's work, my man. Okay? Yeah.

Everybody got it? Yeah. Okay, good. That was my first time seeing it. Oh, I'm sorry, Lou. Let me send this over to you. Now we're all darkened up there. Yeah, Lou might have a little perspective

that we're not, you know... Lou, you know what? I'm sorry. Lou, let me send us around the horn here. Anybody think there was something we could make better on this? Better, worse? If you sign that, I would frame that in my home. Done.

I say we make prints of it and we raise money for charity for kids who are molested. Oh, with looking for daddy tattoos and their assholes? Yeah, well, we just, yeah, all the money we make off of the prints, we send to a charity for people that were molested. We start our own charity. Here's how we get tax exemption. We start our own charity. And what we do is our charity is to get molested kids who are now just gone in the world,

looking for a way to make more money in the streets getting fucked for drugs. Mm-hmm. Looking for, we pay for your looking for daddy, asshole tattoo. Right. That doesn't come out of your pocket. No, we take care of that. Take care of it. That's out of petty cash.

And six weeks of aftercare, whether it be vitamin E ointment and things like that you might need. For sure. Some type of type of drugs. Blacklow thoughts? You know, the drawing is beautiful. I would like to add just a couple of things if possible. Okay. I think it's lacking a little bit of texture in the scrotum.

and penis area as far as veins and a little wrinkle. He's very fair. I mean, there is no vein in the penis. I wouldn't go crazy, though. There wasn't vein in the penis when I saw it. No, there wasn't one. He's saying there should be. That's what I'm saying, but I wouldn't go crazy.

You don't want to make it, right now it's an adorable little pud. I loved your scrub. It's not, it's a great scrotum. You don't want to make it into a cock. No, no. Because then we're going to be offended. I'm not, I'm not. Just a little bit.

I think I did what he was asking. Lou? Yeah? Magnificent. Thank you. Yes. Took a little nothing. Okay.

I'm just saying. Aggressive. DJ Lou, you probably got a lot of thoughts on that penis. What do you think of it? Oh, I like whether you've added just there. Yeah. Makes it more lifelike. But not offensive.

Can I see it? I want to see the... Wow, that really is. Black Lou, you know what? And you added a little... You added a little texture to the nuts. Mm-hmm. Which is really...

I mean, those are nuts now. I can see the nuts. It's a tight set. It's, yeah. Wow. That little vein, the little tiny vein was great. And a little hair on the back of the legs. Mm-hmm.

And you added the, and you made the, I mean, this is, I mean, almost perfect. That's a poster. Yeah. It's a poster. There we go. It's on the bottom. Why can't we do this, man? Let's let Jacob get this out to the people.

Or let's let Jacob get his last looks. Anything like me add, Jacob? You're a real cutie-pituty. Thank you. Oh, I like the tattoo you added on your ankle. Yeah, yeah. I didn't notice that. That's my tattoo.

I have that tattoo. Yeah. Well, you know, somebody just walked in, and I think she'll like to see this. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. This is great. It's photo realistic.

I wouldn't add any more, Jay. I think you've reached. You're right. I would say this, too. If you're going to get the whole tattoo, it should be on your belly button. And make the asshole your belly button. Oh. Yeah.

I see we've done there. Yeah. And Bobby, a warmth came over. I don't know how to describe what this happened. Did you see it? You saw it happen. I did. I had like a, you think we should change my work?

And then I went, no, he's right. If the whole, just the dad looking for daddy part on your asshole. But if it's the whole thing. If you're just going to get looking for daddy on your asshole. If you want to get a tattoo of me spreading my asshole to show you that my asshole says looking for daddy, the asshole on me should be your belly button. Christine, any notes you'd like to give before we put this out to the world? I have a new tattoo idea

where someone will get looking for daddy tattooed around their asshole with their asshole being the O and the word four. It's better, easier to look at it. I heard, I didn't see. Mm-hmm. No notes. Thank you.

Now, can I just ask, since you've seen this? My asshole tattoo? His perspective. No, she hasn't seen it since I got the tattoo. Not the tattoo, but you've seen him in this perspective probably at one point. I really don't think I have... How...

How accurate is this? I can't think of... Well, let's take it piecemeal. Maybe you haven't seen this example. You've seen his calves. You've seen his legs. You've seen him naked. I am acquainted with the full picture.

He hasn't presented like this. You've seen his... You've never seen his butthole? I'm sure she's seen him. Of course you've seen my butt. I mean, it's pretty accurate, right? It's beautiful. Wow, there you go.

That's coming from a person who's been there. I mean, been there. This is great. Are you signing your name? name of your artist name like your artist version oh I mean you're gonna have an artist you can't you can't sign your check name on there this this is artist Jay yeah what do I do I would say a flourish to it right I would say a B a J and something else oh the B.J O I would say B.J and then maybe an oak underneath B.J. Oak oh yeah

the mighty oak the mighty to that you're the artist the mighty oak What's an oak look like? An oak? I did the BJO. I don't know what an oak looks like. An oak tree? Yeah. It looks like a tree.

It's very majestic. It's very majestic. Wow. Oh, nice. So just a tree. Got it. Look at that. Yeah, pretty obvious.

That's some southern horseshit oak. You don't want that. You don't want a racist oak. B.J.O. Black Lou? Yes. Hot off the presses. Get us out of the people.

We got it. We're going to be raffling that off. If you've been molested, call in. Yeah. Call in. If you've been molested and you think, or if you think you're willing to get, see, this is what, full disclosure, everybody listening right now, last week, we were giving away Sal Volcano tickets. And I said, we should give us to the first person who gets an asshole tattoo. And then they were like, Sal's, that's not really his brand.

And I was like, isn't it? And then I was like, I guess you're right. Yeah, it's not. So then I had to find a way to reintroduce asshole tattoo routines. Yeah. And now you have. Now if you get this tattoo and show it to me, you will definitely get free tickets to my shows.

Free tickets to my shows. For sure. For sure. If you get this, if you get the full tattoo using the belly button as the Jay's asshole, I mean, you can come in studio. If you get it on your asshole, looking for daddy, you come in studio and tickets to the show. I mean, you're going to get a lot of stuff. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I think if you get the entire tattoo of me spreading my asshole, your belly button being the asshole, you might be third mic of the show. show. I mean, if you send a video of your daddy actually molesting you, and then, I mean, third mic is definitely yours. I say third mic, at least for like a month trial period, if you sent us video evidence. Evidence. Yes. Of you being aggressively molested by your father. Now, by the way, this contest is 18 and over. So at this point, you want it. You're asking for it. Yeah. The mental gymnastics, the mind control has worked. Now you're coming back for it on your own.

Has to be 18 and over. It can't be a 12-year-old. But I'm not going to call it molesting unless they did get you when you were younger. And we need some type of, like, you know, you can block out your license number. We need to know that you guys are related. It has to say his name, last name.

We have to, it can't just be a guy you're dating. Sure. Saying it's your daddy. Or you can just take a picture of your asshole with the looking for daddy tattoo on it. You could do that. But I would also need to see a little bit of footage of the tattoo being done.

because, well, you just get some. Bobby, I can right now take a sharpie marker and right looking for your ass on your ass and make people think it's a tattoo. You just get one made on the internet. You can get any tattoo made and stick it on there with some water. Fucking looking for daddy right there.

Water soluble. We want you in a back room of a tattoo parlor and we want to hear volume up. We want to hear, because that's going to hurt. That's going to hurt. Yeah. Asshole? I mean, the inside of your arm hurts.

Never mind your asshole. That's a very sensitive part. Taint period. It's going to be very, it's very like, soft skin, yeah. Yeah. Well, unless you've been treating it wrong, then it's rough skin. Or treating it right.

It's either way you look at it. Yes, Black Blue? I didn't see this before. You've got a great ass on this photo. Thank you. Well, that's the farcical part. That's the artistic. That's called the creative license. That's artistic liberties. Yeah, for sure. Creative license.

Yeah, but that's fine. It's fine. I like to see myself. Ben, I'm thinking Ben O. If I bend over, my ass is tight. It can't not be. You're bent over. But it's not. It's not as bubbly as that is.

Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much a lose ass on Jay's body. Essentially, if I bend over and spread my ass cheeks like that, my back to ass ratio hits at about a 90 degree angle. Yeah. I mean, this tattoo is made. The tangental line would be the same as both sides. This tattoo isn't made for me and Jay's ass.

So this is made for like DJ Lou's ass. That's the asshole this is made for. Like it goes away. But it's gonna be like Tupac's tummy tattoos. Like he's gonna have to really, you're gonna have to spread his asshole and then shine a phone light in there as to see the tattoo. It's gonna be too dark. Yeah, but how great is that?

He's already black and he's got a black person's asshole. It's gotta be so dark down there. But if it was on our asshole, you could see it all the time. All the time. Yeah, it's just gonna be there. No, no, no. My asshole's behind cheek, I believe. A little bit.

No, if I walked around right now, ass out. You wouldn't see hole. You could bend over a little bit. it will pop out. I mean, DJ Lou's asshole, you'd have to, that's a surprise waiting to happen. DJ Luz asshole is way to wait in there, dude. Deep in the surface like an earthworm. Yeah, if you open that up, though, and that pops out.

He has the real estate for that tattoo. It's nice. Let me Zerbert your asshole, Lou. Too pale for a tattoo. I don't think it's going to work for me. No, let me just fucking motorboat it, dude. Let me just get in there and fucking your asshole. Yeah, it's for science.

No. Why? God damn it. You never do anything for the show. Anybody do anything for the show? I don't think so. My girlfriend called for us dibs. You have to get behind her online.

She sucks your asshole? She wants to, but she cannot. Why? I don't know. Gay. It's not gay to get your assholes sucked by your girlfriend. I don't like it. I don't even like a bidet.

How do you know that you don't like it? Does your bidet have a tongue? Oh, shit. This is going to be the secret of the show. We find out Lou's head of looking for daddy tattooing his asshole. He goes, I don't want to talk about it. Stay away from my asshole, lady. I've always contended that I hate ass play.

Why? But you haven't tried it ever. How do you know? Because I don't like anything about it. Well, how do you know? Because when I wipe, I don't get turned on. That's not, that's, nobody gets turned on when they wipe. You guys do.

No, no, but think about that feeling. All right, I do, but whatever. Bobby does. I do a little bit. Think about that feeling, though. Because I wipe like this with my finger and I push it in. It's not about things going in your ass. Because you're exactly.

You're right. When you're wiping your ass, it doesn't turn you on. Don't think about that. Think about the time you took a real long log. And as it was getting to the end and it was thinning out, you said that you almost audibly went, oh. Yeah.

Think about that. That's what it feels like every time something's pulled out of your asshole. Yeah. Think about it going in. It's not about the in. It's about the out. Yeah. The in is gay.

The out is ecstasy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's my motto. And the only reason I call it asshole finger is this is this weird. to call it a turd simulator. Christine, give me a good old-fashioned turd simulator.

That doesn't sound right to anybody. No. Like, get this thing out of me. Ooh. Ooh. Yeah, you go. Oh, my God, you up. All right, pull it out.

Anytime you see ass sex in a video, it's always, ow, ow, oh. On the outs. Your shoulders. Your shoulders are drop. Yeah, dude. Grab your legs over your head. There's so much more fun things to do.

Like what? Regular sex. All right. 12 other things yeah go ahead 12 other 12 12 positions ready yeah go missionary boom doggy boom from the side okay 69 okay you're already not fucking now you're right there you're already not fucking now you're right there I know there's a lot to it okay 69 now go uh I don't know that many that's four I don't do a lot but I don't know that many wasn't a fourth uh three go down on her there was there was missionary there was side there was doggy style and there was then there was

69 but she's on that many she's on top. It's four. Calgirl, reverse Calgirl, Lou. Well, you're quarter of the way there, buddy. Yeah, go ahead. A third of the way. No, Christine, don't help him. Do not help him. Don't bring up your commasutra shit. Yeah, tantric's shit I don't know about it. That's in the asshole. That's the male G-spot. I'm going to tell you

right now, if you, if you study tantric, which I did for three years in LA, I dedicated for three years while I was in A-I, I quit comedy. It was right after Torgasim, I quit. And I went into Tantra and Massard. Tantric It's a dark period for some people. Not for me.

It was actually enlightening. Very great. Raji Bobby? The male G spot, guess what, Lou? It's in your asshole. Did you know that? Men can come more than one time. You want me to show you yours with my fingers and dick?

What do you think? No. I can just show you where it's at and then I'll pull out. I'm going to go, I'm going to be inside of you. I'm going to go. There it is. There it's right. There.

You're going to go, whoa. And I'm going to go. Yeah, and then I'll pull out and I'll just keep talking to you want I'm putting my pants on. I'm like, so yeah, that's the male G-spot right there. Go back up to the top one. Go to the, yeah, right, no, stay right there. See right there that little cheese, cheese ball right there?

It's under your turd, right on the hard-boiled egg. You go in, you bend your finger down and you rub right there, that little cheese ball is your G-spot. Can I say this picture, this picture, the only thing drawn better than mine is the hands. The hands are better, for sure. You're not a hand guy. But, I mean, my dick and balls was better than this, by a lot. And the butt sucks, too.

Lou, you want me to find your G-spot for you? Yeah, let's try it. Live on the radio, let's see if you have it. What if you come immediately? We can get gloves right downstairs. Are we negotiating? Can I get some money out of this? Yes, you can.

How much? Absolutely. I could use five grand. Five grand, done. Five grand. I was going to say dinner at Ted Montana's, but all right. Jesus Christ, dude. What can I say?

I'm bargaining with a sweet ass. Can I tell you something? Here's why I'm not going to do five grand. Why? Because he's going to realize once I make him feel the wild ecstasy of fingering his asshole, because I know what I'm doing down there, baby. Yeah, of course you do. I'm a pro.

I'm going to work his fucking shitter over. He's going to blast all over my chest. And then he's going to realize, like, I should have given him $5,000. Now he's getting over on me. Do you understand? No, no, he's not, because he's going to hand you the $5,000 back. You're going to get that money right back. Yeah, it better be followed with him.

I'm going to hand him the envelope, and he's going to hand it right back. me and go do it again yeah I'll do that next time you gotta pay me all right fine first time I'll pay you but when you inevitably won it again desperately and it might take months for you to admit this to yourself days trying to get your girlfriend to use her tiny hands it ain't gonna work no it's not going to worry look at those fingers her little tiny hands dude look at these things and they're warm gloves look at he's got manicured fingernails they're shiny absolutely it's gonna slip right in I'll treat you right baby what do you think you'll me treat you right how about this we'll give you five grand and if

If you come within three minutes, you have to give it back. Okay. You get five minutes of masturbation of me whacking you off while I finger your asshole. That's too much. If you come in a minute, you got to give me back fucking four grand. Every minute's a grand you get to keep. Jay, can I just jump in here real quick? If you want to hold out, yeah.

Because I think you're going to have a lot going on back there. Let me masturbate him while you do the fingering. That's a, you know what I mean? Now we're moving away from the science of it all. Now it's just getting sex. No, no, no, no. No, I didn't want to be whacked off. Why not?

Because I wanted to see if you could touch my little thing in the back of my thing. Well, it doesn't just make you come. You have to like... Hey, you got to get hard. You got to manip... No, no, no. You're going to be hard the second you see my reaction to your penis, Lou. Because I know how to make a man feel right.

You're going to go, you're going to do it. I'm just going to say something first. I want to make a face like, whoa, that's big. No matter how small it is. I will go, whoa. Where are you going to put that thing? You're going to pull Christine? I guess I'll try.

I was with a... I was with a Spanish stripper one time, like 10 years ago. Here we go. And I pulled my pants down. She got me alone in the room. I pulled my pants down. And she goes, oh, my God. She's just saying that it's not.

She turned retarded? No, she's like, oh, my God. I can't believe it. That's the worst Spanish accent ever. Oh, my God. I love a dick in my mouth. He goes, oh, no, maybe I was in an awakening's hospital. Yeah, exactly.

Either way. She just started learning how to talk again. Oh, God. She was pretending that it was the biggest thing she's ever seen. I bet it's big. I bet you got a big piece. I was probably got a big fat, thicky. You look like you get it.

Your face looks like you have a big weird hog. Sitting on that fucking bean bag of an ass you got there. God doesn't even get a fat ass like that unless he's got a carryer on a big hog. Dude, you need it. Those glutes are tight from holding the weight. Yeah, you built that ass up over years of that big hog carrying it around. It looks like a fucking beef tongue. I'm being uncomfortable.

Why? I don't want to play this game anymore. Talk to HR, dude. Yeah, rat us out, boy. Let me finger your ass on and talk to HR. Fuglesang did it. I saw him in the hallways the other day, and I was coming behind him,

his hair's longer now. Yeah, he looks like a vampire that hasn't had blood. Yeah, he definitely needs blood. The rats aren't working anymore. The rats aren't working. It's not hitting the spot. La stat, stop.

Go kill a kid. You're gonna have to kill a kid, dude. No, we had a, we saw each other in a lot, I was coming up behind him. I didn't know who it was. Me and Bobby were just making blind fun of the two dorky guys we thought we saw at the door. But, you know, behind their backs, like gentlemen.

Yeah, of course, we're not. And then when I got up to him, I still had his back was to me still, and he opened the door and held it for me. And I did it, of course, I was like, oh, thank you so much. And I looked up, and it was him. And he was like, you're welcome. But it was both, we were just kind of like,

we already said the thing a second after realizing, like, oh, oh, oh, you. Oh, you. Me and Christine. And it's like now we both had a pleasantry with each other. Neither have us meant it. Me and Christine were walking down the hall and he was walking by. And he jumped in our conversation.

What do you say? I forget what it was. We were talking about something. And he walked by and he threw a little comment in. He named, I was saying something about the friar from Romeo and Juliet. And I don't remember what the context was. And he was like, friar Lawrence. Yeah.

He named him. I was like, I knew it was. Christine was annoyed. Guys, that's your moment. You should say. He goes, do you just listen to people's conversations? Yeah. What's your fucking deal?

asshole what is he host now here here here we go he has a new book out what's it called oh he doesn't work it's serious anymore i think he does yeah he does from home now probably i really don't know i just know that he has a new book out jacob you're his number one fan no dude you've been with him since america's funniest video you called a fv i forgot he did that we had rome out of the studio who was with me why body odor no he was he was running into our time and then he He goes, oh, my God, I got the mayor on the phone. And then he had to leave. Like, the mayor was more important than us.

Is that what he said? Yeah. The new mayor? This was the old mayor. Oh. He said, I got the mayor on the phone? Yes. Like, we'd give him a phone.

Yeah. He's like, oh, that makes us more fun. You should say, oh, that makes us more fun and then hung it up for him. Oh, really? That's the mayor. This makes us more fun. There you go, champ. Get out.

Tell him the call earlier. I really wish we could find, lose G-spot. We can. Yeah. Oh, I mean, you'd have to let us. Yeah. Really, though. I know what you're saying.

If you, Jacob and Black Lou, hold him down, I'll get it. I'll get in there. What if we have Christine dance a little bit, just to distract him? It's not going to distract him like that. No, he's going to, I mean, for a second it will, but then he's going to really, trust me, having people hold you down and start fingering your asshole, probably is going to take precedent over. Christine just dancing around. We haven't played Pearl Jim.

Christine's dancing singing here. There are me a small. Then we hold him down. Maybe that will distract him enough for you to get in there to get into the G-spot. Hook the finger down. As soon as you touch it, he's going to fall into ecstasy. I'm going to tell you, when we get all through that cheek and I hit the hole, I'm telling you, it ain't far behind that hole. Something tells me he's got a prominent G-spot.

Yes? Lou, what if we could get a member of Pearl Jam to finger your asshole? Oh, that's not going to happen. But can we have a heterosexual component to lure me into this gay, No, I'm saying if Eddie or what's the guitar, the guitarist that you love? Christine's dancing. That's pretty good. All right.

Pretty good. Wow, she's right there. Either Eddie or the- They're going to like it once they get in there. He's not going to think. He's going to love it. Lou, you're going to love it. You're going to have that thing.

You're going to go from like, you fucking motherfucker. Oh. Huh? Yeah. Relax. Oh, God. Relax, Lou. What's?

Lou. Stop, stop, stop, stop. That's when they rape you to show you what a homo you are. He goes, is that it? Is that it? You're on it? I think I feel it. I think it is.

I think you're on it. And you're going to turn your whole tune around. And then before you know, whatever, you're asking, you're begging us to finger your ass every day. It's going to be a thing where we get sick of. Yeah. You're going up. I got to go up and you go up and do it. That's right.

And he goes, you want a body brain coffee? Pay the toll. And they just presents to you. Guys, can we get it early today to do the pre-tapes? So we have a long lunch. Yeah, just so you know, this is a very dangerous picture we have up here on anatomy, the anatomy app, because it looks like it's saying to move your lower intestine out of the way and finger a shitball that's behind your, I don't know, exploding egg of a womb?

What is this? What is this guy? The G-spot is like a cheese ball, but what's the, I know the intestine. Is it brown? Well, I'm sure they come. That's your bladder, right? That's your bladder right there? Is that where your jizz comes out?

That's your bladder, dude. Your jizz comes from your beans. Well, where's the other connection to your nut? They don't have it on this? They don't have the vast deference. Well, you know what, when you hit the... Wow. Look it up, Christine.

Vast deference. Wait, no, how do I look that out? I thought what was the name of the tube that semen comes out? What am I asking? What are... By the way, it says right there. Ejaculatory duct.

What does it say? Christine, read it out loud. Don't blow this. The vast difference in seminal... No. Differents would be with... than I, wouldn't it? What does it actually say?

Vass what? Deference. Thank you. I would have fucked that up too, Christine. It's a shame because I just said it before and everyone looked at me like it wasn't a real thing. No, I didn't. I went, wow, I was fully impressed

and I believed in it. Thank you. Yeah, I knew. And I was asking the question, so that's pretty wild. Tensions are high in here because everybody wants to take a shot of lose an asshole. Yeah, I know. But there's only one person that should.

You. My girlfriend. You. Plus, you have gloves on with no fingers so you know exactly when to stop. Uh, buddy, you'll never get past second knuckle with me. Because those gloves are actually like an indicator. Hey, stop here.

And your G spot, dude, I know it's right there. It's right there. It's right there, dude. How about I get my girlfriend to do it over the weekend and give you a full report? If you have sound. Oh, sure. I'm a radio guy. Of course I'm going to record it.

Yeah, if you could get sound of her, Lou, can I just say something? Honestly, look at me. Seriously, will you please, for the love of this show, have her find your G-spot? and just record the audio of it. Okay. You got it. Nice. This is, I can't wait for this week to be over.

I'll be in Florida this weekend, so I'll be fingering my own ass and recording it. What? I'm nothing. Nothing. I'm not going to have Dylan do it. All right, whatever. You know with those long fucking keyboard fingers in there? His spindly G-fingers?

You know what happens, too, when you, when you hit a male G-spot, when you come it's prostate fluid not jiz which is a different thing look that up Christine could we take a break no no not yet not yet prostate we're settling something here I'm keeping quiet until I hear answers Jay read it Christine when climaxing specifically from the prostate stimulation the fluid released primarily prostate fluid not typical semen containing high concentrations of sperm thank you thank you you told you you you know it buddy you're the doctor of the show no we you you had the i'm the artist in the butthole finger what is the word you had again vast deference

vast deference it's on this diagram vast deference there it is vast deference what a great word that should be your next album vast deference and my will be prostate fluid. Big Jay, this weekend is going to be at the improv in Dania Beach, Florida, February 6th through the 7th. That's only two nights. Tickets are

limited, so get them right now. If you're going, get your tickets. After that, he's going to be in Fort Worth, Texas, Nashville, San Antonio, and San Francisco, where he's going to be sticking all kinds of stuff in his ass. I'm going to have so much prostate fluid out there. Oh, my God.

Yes. You have a vast deference. It's going to be jizzing out. Oh, dude, it's going to be nothing. Prostate fluid all over everyone's foreheads. For tickets and all the tour dates, go to bigjcom, YouTube.com, slash EpicJokerson for his live show that he does and his specials are up there.

So much fun stuff. Still trying to get back. Why is that fuck not giving us back the stupid, what's your fucking deal? I don't know. What is it? They're holding hostage my fucking, the crowd work show that we did,

the TV one we did for C-Soe. Yeah. They just got like Chris Italia from the stand has it. I'm just giving it to me so I can put it on YouTube and get used. He's like,

wait, we want to put it behind a pay wall above. Oh, fucking asshole. Bobby Kelly yeah. Is behind a pay wall at the comedy works south in Colorado.

Pay and go see him. Yeah. That's February 5th and 7th that's this weekend. Yeah, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Nice, fun club. It is a fun club.

I'm excited to be a bit. It's cold and I have to prep myself that's time I got sick. Really? I got a little headache and a little dizzy. You have the altitude?

A little bit this time, so I got a... Drink tons of water. Tons of water. I'm going to buy that. Noss, dude, you're going to love it. I'm going to get that. I'm going to take aspirin. I'm going to do a lot of...

Not Noss. Don't do Noss. No, no, no. It's oxygen. Yeah, I might do a little Noss, too. Noss is fun. I might do a little fucking... Is Noss break from sobriety? Yes.

Is it? I think... You couldn't do a balloon with me at a concert one day? No, that's actually getting high, Jay. For 30 seconds. I'm high on life. Okay. I'm high being with you.

Will you French kiss me if I have it in my mouth? A hundred percent. Perfect. Can I find your G-spot on the break? Yeah. I'll be right back. Everyone, go to punchup. That live slash Robert Kelly for all of his dates

and his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy and every Tuesday night, including tonight. No, tonight's Monday. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. And I'm off. Every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge at Comedy Seller.

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.