The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Looming with Jason Mayhem Miller

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Mixed martial arts fighter and TV host Jason "Mayhem" Miller makes a surprise appearance in studio. The UFC and MMA legend trains fighters and has a side hustle in children's toys such as "Hello Kitty." Jason remembers walking out to a match dancing to EDM music along side young Asian dancers. He demonstrates a few submission holds on Bobby and it gets dangerous. Christine tells of the time fighter Nate Diaz left Skankfest because he was weirded out by the Naked Roast. Jay recalls when he was "looming" around famous people to force a chance meeting. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly what a day Yes, what a day what a fun day? Good to be back surprise guest on with the show The bonfire faction talk series xm 103 big Jay Olkerson the great Robert Kelly with I starting off the right way We have a guest in studio with us I mean, what can you say to say a UFC legend is pigeonholing an MMA legend

Pride UFC has been in every single in the p.m. I mean from the beginning. It is the great. And Jay Okerson. The great. Jason Mayhem. Miller in the house. Doing his own intros and shit like a comedian. It's good to have you here my man. Oh my god what an honor to be here guys. Welcome to New York.

Dude let me tell ya. You can't kick me out. If they could they would have maybe. Man they wanna try. Yo I'm all the way up in these headphones. You can't kick me out If they could they would have maybe man, they want to try I'm all the way up in these headphones, but we turned out my snare right here But thank you God bless you guys right there. What brought you into New York? Oh toy fair toy con Avenging that is called toy fair. I'm in the toy business. I'll tell you that Hello Kitty goes like Cocaine in some neighborhoods. You're in the toy buying and reselling? Buddy it's a big markup I'm gonna tell you guys a secret don't get into business don't get on TikTok because

we're already on there. JapanLA.com. Yeah JapanLA.com just you know. Wait a minute. I know I know. Wait a minute dude. Mayhem yeah Ultimate Fighter dude. Hello Kitty. Yeah yeah I thought in Japan I'll have you know before you judge me. I was actually just gonna ask that did you get into this kind of stuff in Japan? You almost can't not right? Well, no previous to that you know the art scene in Los Angeles. 09 had the first Hello Kitty show and it was like an art I mean Dr. Drew was there. It was like you know what I mean? I think I saw Pee We was there. It was like, you know what I mean? I think I saw Pee Wee Herman.

It was back in the day, but we brought Hello Kitty to the masses, you know what I mean? Like it's like a weird, it's cool now. It was not cool then. Because Japan LA, this store was brought, you know, just made it cool. Yeah, so yeah. So wait, but you have, this is flipping me out, dude,

cause I know you from all your stuff. Yeah, yeah. And wait, but you have, this is flipping me out, dude, because I know you from all your stuff. And now, do you have a Hello Kitty store? Yeah, well, look, I'm my partner in a big shop. Dude, what is? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I just saw the markup and then cocaine is, you know what I mean, it's the same thing,

and no cops, no, you're never getting busted. You don't have to cut, and you also don't have to cut your Hello Kitty with baking powder. That's what I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not sending it to those neighborhoods. You don't have to cut, and you also don't have to cut your Hello Kitty with baking powder. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Send it to those neighborhoods. You don't have to worry about your Hello Kitty having fentanyl. That's right. She's crowned in Hello Kitty fentanyl pills. You got Hello Kitty test strips. That's fine. It's good stuff. So yeah, that's the weird part about, I mean, I'm mayhem. Straight up, I'm mayhem. The weird stuff

happens to me. Is your house Hello Kitty? Yes. I mean, just nonstop, bro. You know what I mean? Let's do a Zoom together. You'll be like, what the fuck? So you're a full Hello Kitty. Yeah, bro, yeah. Now, is this because of your lovely-

Yes. Okay. Yeah, my lady, yeah. Your lady. My lady's into that. I'm into fight business. Right. I got young fighters, you know what I mean?

LA is going off, bro. It's a martial arts mechanism. Because you're training a lot of people now. You're training. If they're not in Vegas, all the tough dudes are in LA. So I coach with them, tough dudes, and it's fun. It's a really fun lifestyle. I still get to fight my friends every day, you know?

So you're still training yourself a bunch. Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. I'm like in good shape. I give them the business sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm just like, oh, mayhem's in shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My head locks for days. I'm just sending them to the multiverse. How can what I mean? I'll just be like, oh, mayhem's in shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My head locks for days.

I'm just sending them to the multiverse. How can you not in sparring, especially like hard sparring, not get emotional at all? That's why I've never been a slapboxer or anything like that. I'm gonna get upset and angry. Me too.

And I don't wanna hit my friends hard. How could you actually get choked up by a guy with a Hello Kitty backpack? Oh, yeah, yeah. That is what's going to happen. And mouthpiece, and mouthpiece, and underwear set. And like a pacifier on a necklace. Yeah.

Now we're going to the after party. What are you talking about? Oh, man, these guys' mouthpieces. So is there, let me ask, is this like, is this like the cabbage patch doll type thing? Buddy, listen, it's a big, you know, I'm making light of it. It's a big business, like the toy convention, like everybody down there, man, astute business people, you know, because they're selling a product

that you don't technically need, but everybody loves toys, plushies, like the, you know. It's collectible. Yeah, and then the boy-sided thing, I'm investigating how to get good at selling boys' toys Everybody loves toys, plushies, like the, you know. It's collectible. Yeah. A lot of chubby. The boys side of things, I'm investigating how to get good at selling boys toys because they're mostly. Okay, boys, you said toys at the end, okay.

Boys toys, boys toys. Thank God, I was like, wait a second. I mean, we're going to the after party, some boys toys, singing some boys music. Is this a lot of chubby women at this convention? I would say, you know, there's some hot chicks. There's hot chicks there, yeah. Really? Yeah, of course. I was gonna guess it hot chicks? There's hot chicks, there, yeah.

Really? I was gonna guess 97% Asian. There's some Asians, yeah. There's a lot, yeah. They show up. Definitely show up for Hella Kitty. But I don't know, it's all over the country, all over the world, Canadians came down.

Where was it here, Javits Center? Yep, Javits Center. Very nice. It's interesting, the business is very interesting, learning about toys, the microcosm, and like subplots that are going on in the whole business. That's almost something. Are you here like for like face of the company? Like for personality? Or are you like in meetings going like nonsense, it's all bullshit, change it. They got some b-roll of me doing hand gestures like a damn CEO in the boardroom. I look like Elon off of

less cocaine. And Katamini. Yeah. Was this something you got back because you're in I was like, damn, CEO in the boardroom. I look like Elon off of Less Cocaine. And ketamine. Was this something you got back, because you were in Japan. How long were you in Japan for? See, I fought there for years, like three years, but I stayed three months solid. Solid.

You get sick of leaning over and not understanding a fucking word. And they don't learn English at all. They don't care. They do. Everyone knows English there because they saw a Netflix, a Jack Bauer. Yeah. I agree.

They all know it, but they're not gonna speak it to you. No, no, they're real nervous. You go up to them, Bobby, you're like a nice guy. You would go and say something to them, they'd be like, oh, but then you turn out this guy can read War and Peace and the fuck, you know what I mean? It has every English, you're just embarrassed

to say it wrong. Oh really? Yes. Very honorable people. Honorable, damn, we gotta bring that to America. You have some of the most notorious walkouts ever. In MMA, and when you came out with the dancing Asian girls. Buddy, listen.

It's one of the best things ever. For what you guys think of as Asian schoolgirls, right? I asked for that, the fetishy one. They gave me the first time real Asian schoolgirls. 15, 16, I'm in the year of nine. I'm like, whoa, and my corner man was like, what's up, what's up, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm like, wait a minute, check the Asian, yeah,

consent up, like, well, man, maybe nevermind Japan. This doesn't matter? I know, I don't know. Nobody was seeing this weird big black dudes like pushed up on a 15 and then. Well, if you're not fucking a child Asian girl, she's gonna be making an iPhone until she dies anyway. Yeah, yeah, or you know what I mean?

There's only two routes. There's only two routes you could take. Jacob, put that in the notes, thank you. I saw you go to your computer, put that in the notes. Yeah, put that in the notes. Take that out of the show. That's good. That's good. Oh, now this is the updated version. Now these women are of age. This was in Strike Force, right? Buddy, no, I don't know. No, this is, listen, listen, listen to the...

This is the best. This is him. He's coming down the stairs, his entrance, and he's got, I think, 15 Asian schoolgirls. This one, ah, this one, ah, this one, ah. See, that's classy. That's classy right there. And my jacket pops. My jacket pops. That was a good night. Aren't you nervous that this is gonna take this out of you? Everybody on the subway was doing this fucking dance at me. People were just walking up. It was a revelation, man. I like walked around Japan,

people were just not like hitting that dance in my face years before TikTok. Oh my God, I TikToked it out, danced everywhere. I went and smashed the guy too, he saw, you know, I'm not all bluster. But were you exhausted by the time you get up there? Were you tired at all? If I didn't get to dance, bro, I wasn't warmed up

for the whole thing. I'm telling you, bro, I had a better time dancing. I'll always say the most impressive thing to me is when I see you guys walk out and they're focused and have like, and aren't having fun. Well, I focus, bro, but that's just how I focus. I'm just nonstop zippity zaps up. No, I believe you, but I'm just saying,

I'm more saying more about your demeanor even. Like I would be, it seems, like I said, I've been in plenty of street fights in my life, but I've never been in an organized fight or any fight where there was time leading up to it, where I would be filled with nothing but fear and self-doubt completely. Ah, take a nap.

That was just, but walking. Just take a nap. Just sit there and listen to the audience. Ah, ah, ah. Self-doubt completely that was just but walking Comedy is weird because I'm standing back there and I'm like, I'm about to go out and then No one's gonna go try to kill me right now. I just get to dance Comedy is easier than MMA but you're like heckler attack guy, so you're gonna be, you have a Jiu Jitsu, comedy Jiu Jitsu, so. I tell you what though, I'd rather take a beating than the heckler. I had a guy say to me this weekend,

I did something and he went, you're so brave, Bobby. And it bothered me Sunday night. I was like, what did you do, kiss a guy? What was brave? I don't know, I did something stupid. And he's like, you're so brave. And I was like, why did that bug me? That just hurt. I'd rather take a punch in the face. He had a thorn in the saddle. Yeah. The guy right after him goes, I go, I used to, I lost a lot of weight. He goes,

you're still heavy. Yeah, yeah. Fat said heavy grandmother, which is real. That's like a real he cares about you motherfucker I was gonna say you lost the weight yeah I lost the weight but the fact that he went there was no need for him to go you're still heavy I know that I put my underwear on you couldn't let you live in the happy I take it off at the end of the night and the underwear elastic is sweat over I understand I'm still heavy, but I do the same thing They Liz Oh did the thing finally where Liz Oh showed her new body and I was like look at Liz Oh and then after About 30 seconds looking I was like still fat though. Yeah, she's still a problem

I think Leo she's still probably obese, but would you say it to her on as she's on constant? Hey Liz Oh, hey You're still a little heavy. I would tell her that you say that I don't know sorry you still got it but I could still breathe did you find the Lizzo her new body she does look she does say keep going girl yeah here's the problem with her. She made it okay for fat. You know what? Be fat. It's good to be fat. And then as soon as they came out with Ozempic,

she's like fuck that, I want a good body. Yeah, I don't think she even gives a shit. Hey man, I'm sorry I broke this thing. Did we give him a tricky microphone? Yeah, no, it's good. It's my fault because I never played with this one before in my entire life. And now the audience has to suffer the consequences.

I mean, all of us do, but we're gonna keep, but no one, no, you do your thing, you can kill everybody in this studio. I know, man, I'm trying to retire, but you guys keep dragging me back. Do you? Fucking mayhem, do mayhem, man. I'm trying to sit down, Bobby, sorry, man.

I fucking love you, dude, do your thing, man. In fact, as they said, Black Lou said to me outside, he goes, he goes, what's his thing like? And I was like, mayhem. It would be mayhem. I mean, it is his name. I try to explain. Lizzo, are you gonna say, Bobby?

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Who's that? I know, yeah. Who's that on the screen right now? Man, Lizzo is fucking banging. That's not Lizzo. Oh my God, I'll wipe it up.

That's Lizzo. I'll put my girlfriend out the way. Okay, here's the problem with what she did. Come here fat girl. Here's the problem with what she did right now. Ooh, come here fat girl, what you gonna do? She has millions of dollars to become that, or in the Ozepic.

All the girls that she said, hey, be fat, be you. All those girls are still fat and don't have the ability. Now, it's like, wait a minute, you were our queen. You were, that's what, when I lost weight, a a minute, you are our queen, you are, that's what, when I lost weight, a lot of fat guys are mad at me and you, because we were their king. We were. And then we used medical science, but here's the thing.

You tried not to die. I have no, I don't have a problem with this at all, except what you're saying. Well, I never, I used to get angry, I remember waking up one day and seeing like a, it was like a Dr. Phil or some episode, that it had Really morbidly obese people and a bunch of like like health like personal trainers I think Julia whatever the famous one was and they're sitting there and the crowd is all the whole thing is driven to boo

The people who were in shape because they're like Why can't these people just and the girls saying like I could be healthy in this weight and they're like, why can't these people just, and the girl's saying like, I could be healthy in this weight and they're like, you can't. Yo, I'm over here trying to pretend I'm a skinny dude. I got 280 one time and I was fucking huge, bro. And I'm like, now, still on my weight loss journey. But I'm doing it right now. Like, man, we just ate some vegetables that was like,

standard. You gotta do a tour. It was this, it was bland, it was whatever, but it was sustenance, and it just makes me keep going. I'm on it, I'm on it. You cut the sugar out, and then suddenly, bro, your brain just is broke, because a little apple tastes so delicious. Right, sugar is the worst.

This is our health nut right here. That's the original drug, yeah, look at him. He looks healthy as fuck. He's probably 78 years old, and his brain works perfectly. He's actually only 12. I know. 78 years old and his brain works perfectly. He's actually only 12 Jacob calls, uh, it's like Tom Brady shit He says like oh if I want a treat I'll have some grape nuts a treat a treat a grandparent's punishment is his treat So wait this thing I'm gonna say but the doctor say Jesus Christ Jay, don't let him talk Jacob go ahead

Come on a hire you all right wait a minute I'm gonna hire you to bully Jay and to let me Jacob talk Jacob back on it once it Jews Saw that clip of you entering the ring and I thought if if I was Jason's opponent I thought I'm gonna about to get killed the ring and I thought if I was Jason's opponent I thought I'm about to get killed. He's dancing. A little bit of... He doesn't give a fuck about me. I'm gonna get destroyed now. You're an afterthought. I'm dancing with these Asian chicks. I'll get to you in a minute. You're like, oh yeah, I gotta fight. I almost forgot. I'm just mellow. I hear his opponent watching that coming to the ring. Oh, I'm gonna get destroyed. He knew he was in the fight.

Who was the guy you fought when you said that? Fuck, I don't remember. You don't remember? They all knew that he was in the fight, yeah. Yeah. But the thing about the Dr. Phil, I'm saying that I never agree with that. And I was 340 pounds at a time,

and I was like, no, no, no, I don't wanna be fat. It's stupid to say this is perfectly fine and whatever. Hey, you're on the shit though? You're on the shit? Yeah, yeah. All right, and it's an aspect to make you vomit? No. Make you drink less?

What a science. I don't really drink that much. Okay, so it's like whatever. You know what I mean? You're on that shit too? You eat substantially less. Or you're not doing it with that? No.

You're going raw dog. I did it all myself by lifting weights and eating healthy. Sick, you do look fucking big as fuck. And I had a, I had my stomach into a baby stomach. There it is. Perfect, perfect. There it is. Perfect.

We'll get him some Gerberts, you know what I mean? Filet mignon. But he had some baby, but there was some, he ate some vegetables too. I had a little baby stomach. So you're not hungry ever now. But they came out with those epic two months after I got my surgery, which sucked.

Hilarious, that's so funny. But see, this is like a team thing. You guys kick it all the time. You guys should be on some, oh, fuck you, eat a salad. Here's a handful of spinach. I do that all the time. Like nachos, bro, I just got, bam, bam. It's easy to be eating healthy, dog.

Like you just have to have that mindset of just be a caveman. Or a meat. Strong chance that Jacob might try to kill your girlfriend and wear her hair so you just think it's her and move in with you. He loves everything you're saying. You want to 4 a.m. And do a weird band workout. He's down for it Start a canoe race across the world. Yes 340 pounds I never was like this. What's the problem? Like this is fine. I want to be that I've always Sorry, it's not derailed the whole show. No, it's fine at three hundred forty at three hundred forty pounds I never was like this. What's the problem like this is fine. I want to be that I've always

Never wanted to be fat. So but you're right. That's the who else the comedian Monique did that too before she lost a bunch Oh, they all come out and they go there that is like preaching and then they get money and people will go Hey, we can make you a thing whether it be training and exercise, but just someone up your ass What's the Tom's the guru when Bert Kreischer always busts his balls? and people will go, hey, we can make you thin. Whether it be training and exercise, but just someone up your ass. What's the Tom Segura, when Bert Kreischer always busts his balls, he goes, yeah, he goes, hire a chef, there you go, nice and easy. You could lose plenty of weight if a chef's

preparing all your wonderful meals every day. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know, man, Mexican ladies cook like beans and rice. Adele, Adele did it too. She looks great, but she never was like, I'm proud to be fat. Yes, she was, sort of. Was she really? No, she really all the fat girls?

Yes They all are until they lose weight because what's a girl gonna do be like yeah I'm really depressed and sad all the time, and I hate my body Yeah, you're gonna see my world when she was at her fadda. She had long legs face look at her face over there Your heaviest was 340 yeah, so my heaviest was badder than your heaviest? Was it? I was 360. Really?

Well, all right. Don't say it like that. Wow. I mean, wait a minute. It's weird being the light guy at 280. Yeah, that's a weird one, though. Yeah. I'm like, god damn, I'm a pipsqueak.

Fucking pipsqueak over here. The show is going to be called Slim and Robert. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, is this a factory farm that you guys are sitting at right now? It seems as if. Hey, but yeah, if you guys get into some fucking competition

about it too, it's fucking sexy. You know what I mean? Like, I just, in the gym, I just set everyone against each other, cutting weight, and just getting like shredded. Like, I can't see your weird octagons on the side yet. You know, like, it's like, how much do you weigh? As the manager, looking after the guys,

it's a weird, different mentality. I got a fucking pester, a bunch of grown ass men who could fucking sock me up pretty good if they felt like it. So you have to like, it's lion taming every day, bro. You know what's funny? If you were working with ballerinas, they'd have you up on charges for that behavior.

I mean, what the fuck? You have to weigh him every day. They're like what's funny? If you were working with ballerinas, they'd have you up on charges for that behavior. I mean, what the fuck? You have to weigh him every day. They're like, what a mean man. He's weighing him every day. Get in this hot box. Sit here with just your neck out. Jason, Jason, let me ask you a question. Because I am truly a big fan.

You were one of my favorite fighters back in the day. God bless you, bro. When, and. I saw you in New York before. I mean, people always knew who you were. But way back in aughts, I saw you, fuck, I was watching you people always knew who you were, but way back in ATS I saw you, I was watching you work, I was like, this guy is big time. What the seller?

Met seller of course, yeah. Well dude, the thing that was, I believe it was Sakuraba, I believe. But it was like the man, Japanese, Japanese people. What you did was no Gracie could submit this guy. I know, I know. And he beat Rampage, I can't believe that, early in his career, yeah. You actually was like, I would like to go out

and submit him. Yeah, I had to, I called the shot kind of like, go fuck that, I'm gonna like tap him out. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna try to bunch too good. I just punched open for submission to show the art of Jiu Jitsu. Cause my, you know, Japan, they really respect it.

They're quiet. It's a quiet, different vibe, because they like the technique. They want to see you do dope techniques, not just, okay, who's gonna grind this out? They want to see a nice technique. The thing I like about Japan is they'll penalize you if you're not working hard enough.

You get a yellow card or something. And you get 5% of your purse taken away if you're not working hard enough. You get, was it a yellow card or something? And you get 5% of your purse taken away if you're not working, am I correct? Like. I never got a yellow card, yeah. I was always working. Like, try to do some craziness or karate chop the guy something.

Didn't you win a, you won a fight with a Darce choke before, did you? Yeah, yeah. I believe so. I don't know, man. I did the Darce, like, the Darce, I like reinvented that thing for you know I got it from Joe Diarcy here in town, and I brought it back to Vegas, and we're just like this is the Darst

Real quick can you do this, can you demonstrate that on Jacob what a Darst joke is for the listeners? Got a pretty tough neck I'm kidding do not no he has a bad neck He has a surgery Please don't do it It's like a north-south fight. Your heads are tight. What did you submit Sakuraba with?

Head and arm. It's the reverse of a dars. Like a dars, you're doing the same kind of basic motion where you're- Can you show me, on me? Can you show it on me? All right. Oh, wow.

Hang on one second. Hang on one second. Look how fast Black Lou got up to get the camera out. Oh, I thought he was. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Black Lou's going to put his arm. He's going to post it as a world star hip hop.

I can do it standing up. I can do it standing up. So don't bust your watch here. No, no, no. So you catch the guy in here like this. Hang on. I want my stomach coming out. OK, what's that?

I mean, it is going. Wow. Wow. All right. It's like magical Bobby if do right no can defend Yo best out of 700 Do right, no can defend. Come on, bro. Your neck is tougher, bro. You got to work that out. Yo, best out of 700. OK, OK.

Well, OK. Now, what's the one you did to Sakuraba? The Darce. That's the one. No, the Darce is like, this one, this one. Bobby, you can't start tapping on approach. You get over here. No, no, no, I'm all right. He went to grab you when you started tapping him.

Look at that. Oh, you want to go through the end, okay? This is the end of the fight. This is the end of the fight. Look at me. And then look, the straights. This one right here was like a position that I had figured out in training before. Now he's on top. Now he turns. See, I catch the head behind the deltoid.

And then I crank around. See, now I put my pressure where my shoulder is now pushing in. And he couldn't take me. Now he turns see I could catch the head behind the deltoid and that's and then I crank around see now I put my pressure where my shoulder is now pushing in and he couldn't take them. That's I mean that Moment yeah, you took it for 40 seconds longer than Bobby though Yeah, yeah, Sakuraba's champion yeah for sure It was I mean that was amazing because nobody could, nobody tapped him out. No, no one could. None of the Gracies. He like could weather the storm on them.

I just gave him a little American ground impound. What happened after that fight? I mean, the people must have been flipping out the easier than that. It was weird, yeah. Because he was the guy. The subway changed too. They're not dancing, they're like, oh, oh, oh. Like, man, it felt good.

Like, God bless Japan. Because he was called the Gracie Killer, am I correct? Correct, yeah. And then you took him out. That is incredible. Thank you for recognizing that, sir. Yeah, absolutely, dude. And then I saw when you went over to Strike Force,

you were one of the guys. I mean, look, I love the Diaz. I love Jake Shields. That was a cartoonish time in mixed martial arts. The Diaz brothers, me, the frickin' scrap pack guys over there. Like, it was a real cartoonish era, you know what I mean? It got in the high jinx and everything. Well, like, Factions, I think there was a good element

at that point of, like, wrestling in it, which is great. It was sort of, yeah, because the internet just popped off and we were all talking to message boards, kept it alive, like, in a weird, different way than it is today. Yeah, well, because you went just popped off and we were all talking to message boards kept it alive Like in a weird different way than it is today Yeah, because you went in look man everybody knew that you were legit, but you went in like Jay You're absolutely right with this wrestling thing where you when you jumped in the ring. Let's do this. Let's sell this thing Yeah, and that you had like all the Diaz brothers and all their friends

No, that was everybody was gonna, was that, I mean probably not. That's one of the craziest things I've ever seen somebody do. Those brothers are unhinged. They were going to fight you when you went. My dad, my dad text me. Did you go in there and know? My dad text me, he's like,

you're Miller, ain't ya? Cause we're like fearless assholes for sure. Yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha. My dad was the 82nd Airborne, like it's a weird thing that like, all the Millers like pick some, hard shit, crazy shit. When you jump from-

Heavy machinery, this kind of jobs. Like, oh shit, if it's scary, go ahead, fuck it, we'll do it. What'd you go up to, South Carolina, right? North Carolina. North Carolina. For anybody who doesn't know the thing, it was a famous moment, Jake Shields, and his team was the Diaz Brothers,

and Gilbert, right? Gilbert. Gilbert, yeah. They called him the Scrap Brothers and Gilbert, right? Gilbert. Yeah, they called him the scrap pack. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, and then at the end of it, Jake Shields just won a fight. They told me, if I ask for a rematch,

we're gonna have that rematch. But he, now these guys, but at this point it's already known, the Diaz Brothers are, they don't give a fuck about their contracts, or rules, or anything. And when you jumped in there and just Asked jake shields for a first shot and then they just started punching

Did you have any feeling that was gonna do like i'm gonna go in there and get no fight right now You're like i'm gonna be in a fight. Oh, I was like, you know what this should have set up You know what I mean? The production knows but they should have brought more security. Yeah. No shit I uh, it's so funny because I can't feel the right side of my body, but the thing is Is that no? That's gonna come back. Oh, we'll come back. This is a little PT if it doesn't come back. My wife's Don. Can you take care of her? Take care? She'll run you a Hello Kitty business. Yeah, it's cowboy rules. You have to marry her. If you kill Bobby you have to marry his wife.

Look, look, they already played it. Look, look, I'm like fucking sockin' back. Look, I double-legged Nate Diaz, I double-legged him, because I know when you're getting jumped, you gotta get one of their guys down. Someone's gotta go to the hospital with you. Well, you gotta get them down, right, and then cover your face. I've been jumped before, that's the thing.

But you went in there, here's the thing, you went in with nobody, and they had everybody. Yeah, you're right, yeah. That was pretty low down and dirty, how they did me, really. I mean, everybody. Yeah, you're right, yeah. What? Pretty low down and dirty how they did me, really. I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just a jump, like that was nuts because you didn't hit him or anything.

You came in just like shit though. Yeah. What did you think they were gonna do? It's the defense brothers. Look, I understand thinking. I see their thinking. Yeah. They were just mad though.

Now after the fight, here's what I would worry about. So you do all this stuff, they get you out, now you gotta go to your car. Fine. You don't care. We're rolled by them again, like what's up? We're still jarring. Are you still jarring after the thing?

Oh, for real. So there's no like, all right, we get it, you're trying to sell the fight. I mean, this happened a long time ago, you know what I mean, but yeah. By the way, Jake Shields, I think he came to Skankfest, Jake Shields. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, yeah.

And he's like a lunatic I'm sorry. He likes America. Is that what you're saying? The country that is giving him everything Jay. No, I think he's like pretty uh, like it's probably good He doesn't fight anymore. He'd probably be not allowed to fight Fight him forever. Yeah, hey Jay adjust your free Palestine button, please See that woke the woke mafia Nate Diaz came and was somehow walked right into the way. That's one of the funniest things ever so at Skankfest we do a

somehow walked right into the naked. That's one of the funniest things ever. So at Skankfest we do a naked roast and we shut down cameras and everything. Y'all are very avant garde. It's wacky. What the fuck, is it the 70s again? Y'all are doing penis puppetry? As you'd guess.

If you mean avant garde, you mean gay. Yeah, it's gay. Yes, we are. As you would guess, it's not very female heavy. I always thought Skankfest was a bunch of girls and then I looked and it was you guys fucking with your dicks out It's just guys with guys with tattoos Yes, that's Ari but yes, I'm sorry Lewis had a gun in his asshole. Yes

Jewish Lewis. Yes So we I forget where the fuck I was at Yeah, so naked roast it's a lot of guys going against each other and the judges are mostly guys 2016 he goes let's take the two biggest shows the naked show and The roast battle and put him together We only do it at skank fest and we've done it every year since the start got a chub up for Vegas it was in Vegas that year and Shane Gillis had just started hanging out with Nate Diaz

And then so he goes he invited Nate Diaz over to skank fest and he brings Him in the back door into the green room. He's sitting in a he's sitting in a green room I mean, that's a great impression Because what he did was he came in and Shane said Shane said he goes he's came in and just two fat guys with their dicks out sat on or got like you guys are next and just two fat guys like little guys little wieners just walking right by his face bird's nest up in my place man and immediately he was there for two minutes he was like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they live and we're like hey hey, did anybody meet Nate Diaz?

He goes, dude, he was here for five, he walked in and saw 15 dicks, and ran out as fast as he came in. As fast as he came in anyway. Really funny. Yeah, I got a story to tell. Are you still, do you see Nate Diaz? I haven't seen him in a while.

But are you guys cool now? Yeah, we're cool, we don't get, we're not on site right now at least. I mean you guys cool now? Yeah, we're cool. We don't get on... It's not on-site right now, at least. I mean, look, things can change, you know what I mean? Week to week. How do we get you back to on-site? On-site?

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you meant. You don't get back on on-site. On-site? Oh, yeah, yeah. You said it so white that I was like, oh, man, this lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She used her woman political hands. How do we get you back to on-site? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said it so white that I was like, oh man, this lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She used her woman political hands. How do we even tell you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how I was. Barbara Walters and her feather reading. Oh my God. But here's the thing too, then you did this Bully Beatdown. For me, dude, that show, God bless me. And we could never do that again.

I know. But you couldn't do it. I know. You couldn't ever do it. I know. You couldn't ever do it. I went back recently and rewatched all the episodes. You know Archie Bunker, but yeah, we were avant-garde. You could do it on Rumble.

But not gay. You could do it on Rumble. Buddy, buddy, you went into a place with these two nerds and you found the guy and then you beat the shit out of the guy and gave nerds money. That's fucking dope. Which was hilarious, but my favorite one

is when the guy, they didn't get any money. And the guy just. I am the Russian bully and I go home with all the money. I met that guy later, it was like a bouncer at like a swanky nightclub and shit. I was like, you're the bully. The guy was like, yes I did. Oh, bully won once.

He won. All the 10 Gs, yep. Won all the 10 Gs. He's a legendary figure, you know what I mean? And those nerds were shitting their pants at the end of the show. Yeah. Like, what do we do now? Our bully just beat up our bully killer?

Yeah, the on set, everyone, because that's real, the fight was like a real thing. And everybody on set was like, oh my God. It was like a sad day, it never had happened. And then the producer was like, somebody's gotta win. Was that show brought to you or was that your pitch? No, no, not my pitch, but they pulled me out of, I don't know, Japan.

They pulled you out of Japan? They pulled me out of Japan to come back and do the show, yeah. That was smart. I know. That's a smart, big person. That was such a good idea. I know.

You were a great person to do it, but I was, Jacob, did you watch the show when it was on and all? It was so. Tell people what the show was. So yeah, it was, somebody would go, somebody would hire the show. Idea would be, they were hiring the show to say, I have a bully, he's bothering me,

would you guys take care of this for me, essentially, right? And then the first season, it was like, a reality, janky, like, I don't know. The first season, it set it up. It's like, Mayhem would show up in like a big yellow Hummer with a freaking bullhorn You know, I mean and chase the bully down. Hey man with a with a megaphone going. Hey, man I heard you're picking on these guys. We're like, dude, this is whack like, okay, they get it They get it and then the rest of it was just we did that like yo, here's the guy. Here's the kids

Let's fight. Yeah, I like the train the guy they train the boy for a little bit Let's fight. Yeah, I like the train the guy they train the boy for a little bit Now we like you got to train on your own bud Like that was the business like okay, you think that you're tough enough to fight a real fighter You think so you think so guy who donate like all his time to learning how to fight You think you're just gonna roll in Did they know this guy up you're gonna get. Did they know who they were gonna fight when they were three? No, no. So like Tyler, the bully, the pro wrestling style goofball

had to go stand across from Daniel Cormier suddenly. And I was like, ha, young Daniel Cormier with no beer belly, like straight up Daniel, like beastly, right from the Olympic Training Center. So this guy comes in, he's like, all right, let's do this. And then it was all right. And they make the announcement, the Olympic, Olympic and Cormier come out and just throw him his head.

The guy's face was like, oh, he heard Olympic. It was like, Ooh, Olympic. Then he saw the guy and it was like, whomp, whomp, whomp. Like he was like, ah, game over. And boy, man, man, I have the show coming out that recaps that. And it's like, he sent him ass over T-Kat, like slammed him up in the airless.

It was artful. I told him, you know, play with the food. What's, I don't know why I'm blanking on his name. He's a fucking legend in the sport, the hatchet killer, what was it? Andrei Olovski? No, no, no, no. Bald head, Jesus Christ.

Chuck Lydell. No, crazy, he, no. Bald head, Jesus Christ. Chuck Lydell. No, crazy. The bald head. He's got a crazy face. His face is scary. Van Der Leys Silver. Van Der Leys Silver. Van Der Leys Silver.

I wish Van Der Leys. We tried to get Van Der Leys. He was not available. Japan had him still. Japan had him. Seeing that face coming at you was a bullet in the ass. I know. But the first one I ever watched just got me

was whoever did the casting and finding where they were selecting the people Was great because I mean the guy couldn't have seemed like more of an asshole I was in a bully the bully and just like and the first time it was it was a shot particularly a guy got Kicked in the stomach and just his whole demeanor changed so fast. Just like oh Guys do it inspiring felt great. I kicked his of him. It was a very satisfying show to watch. I'll tell you a funny story about... I'll tell you a funny story about Van Deley, the Axe Murderer.

Oh, the Axe Murderer, yeah. Me and Norton were at the UFC 100 Fan Fest. Oh, yeah, yeah. So they have a back room. It's almost like Comic-Con for UFC and MMA. So we're in the back room with all the wrestlers. I mean, the fighters would come in and take a break from signing and all that.

So Norton is such a lunatic, he saw somebody with gloves, so he went and bought 32 pairs of gloves and came back and was just. Norton on the hustle right now. Norton didn't know. Go buy the seaside docks and sell that shit. But he didn't know who anybody was too, so I'm like, okay, that's Leota.

I was like, John Jones is probably gonna be the champion at some point before he was, all this stuff, right? So I was like, that's Vandeleil. And he's eating, he's eating, and he's Vandeleil. He's like, excuse me, Mr. Vandeleil, can I get your autograph for these? And he looks up like, when I'm done with that, when I'm done, I do it.

And he's like, okay. He stood behind, while he's eating, stood behind Vandellay, waiting for, with the stupid gloves. Vandellay kept looming. Looming, exactly. Over that face? And that, now picture Norton's face.

If he was happy, he couldn't turn around and go. Picture Norton's face. Just a little unfinished human. Just looking at an Australia Opipicus? Honestly, if you just put like a bracelet on Jim Norton in like a gown, it looks like he's a make-a-wish. You could have given him that. I remember you standing there waiting.

Sarah, my time is limited. Holding IV. His sunken eyes. Looking sad like a Bambi character. He kept looking back and then he finally went, like, give me gloves. No one was like, okay, thank you. That was good, Vanerley.

It was part of many times. That made me laugh so much. I loomed the one time. That was when I loomed for the drummer of Slipknot, Max Weinberg's son, who I saw meet him when he was 12 years old, and I loomed when I saw him backstage, when he was a drummer now For slipknot. Yeah to tell him that story

So long that Christine was eventually going like bail bail and I was like, I know Yeah, I was already I was like, I know I'm a pep talk. I knew I was loon. I go no No, I know I'm looming people loom at me sometimes but this story is he's gonna go Unreal that you were there for this weird moment and when I was 12 years old and now I'm looming, people loom at me sometimes, but this story is, he's gonna go, unreal that you were there for this weird moment and when I was 12 years old and now I'm in this pain. Can I just say it's a little different looming outside of a funny bone on a second show on Friday. In a parking lot of a concert?

But I was like, and then he got, I was like, Jay Weinberg, right, I already knew that, but I go, he's like, yeah, I go, hey, I think I told him I was a comedian right away, didn't care much about that. And then I started to tell him this entire story of I saw you here, and then I blah, blah, blah. And then here you are.

And then years later, a guy tells me you're the drummer for Slipknot now. And I saw when you met them when you were 12 with your dad backstage in New Jersey. And he was just like, that's cool, man. And just kept continuing to walk me. I was like, all right, bye. Really? That didn't blow his mind. And then somebody goes, it just kept continue to walk me. I was like alright. Bye really that didn't blow his mind And then somebody goes it's Max Weinberg son. He was probably knew he was gonna be something It doesn't blow his mind that much maybe there's a lot of pressure. You know I'm saying I mean

It's just a lot of pressure, but his last name said you better fucking be poppin who pop it I think I bet you may have never loomed You've never loomed over anybody, did you? Was there anybody you were so excited to meet you loomed around waiting? Never. Me and Jay are just loomers. Oh, we loomed with Kid Rock.

Didn't work out good for us. Did you see the Kid Rock video where he was on stage? Shooting Bud Light? No. He was on stage. Shooting Bud Light? No. He's on stage. He's doing this thing with, who is it with? Who is it? It's fucking Gabby's dad's birthday.

Oh yeah, David Bryan from Bon Jovi, the keyboard player. And he. The Fade dancer? I like that, yeah, yeah. The keyboard player. And he gets up, this really made me not like him just easy a little bit because like in about a Month I'm doing his big show at the Ryman But you're right, let's give him the bid no, this is this is whack this is this is nuts

He's at this thing David Bryan. It's kind of just hanging out jamming together and he he's trying to get the fans into it But I mean, what are you gonna do? I know, yeah. Oh, I heard about it. He's mad they're not clapping. Come on. I mean, listen, Kid Rock, you got a lot of wins right now, baby. You're on the winning side.

He's just winning and winning. He's sick of fucking winning. This guy is so over-winning that he's like, clap for me, and nobody did. He's like, you know what? He's mad they're not clapping. It wasn't like, what was it, rolling on a river or something? did he's like, you know what he's mad. They're not clapping It was like wasn't like was it rolling on a river or something? He's like, you know what you know what forget it and he just leaves

It's the weirdest leaves Gabby's dad sitting there digging the piano by himself What happened everybody is that Max Weinberg? No, that's uh, that's David Bryan. Oh, everybody stops That's David Bryan. Everybody stops. What the fuck, man? I mean, it's not the best stage craft. Yeah, it's a bunch of white people. They don't know how to clap. Yeah, all off rhythm and shit.

In fairness, Kid Rock's not clapping that great. But everybody has their phones up too I know how you supposed to clap with your iPhone That's what he wants he wants them to all put the phones down Too late this got out just have fun on stage. It's a birthday party just saying just saying you're having fun Who cares if anyone's watching yeah? Was this David's I mean like you ruined my fucking birthday It's David Briney's birthday, the Bon Jovi did

He fucked up Made it all about himself, old kid It does sound good though Yeah it does, yeah It does sound good We're not saying his musical talent I separate the art from the artist Jay, if you don't do this on his show at the Ryman

And get the crowd to clap And walk off You're not funny You need to close your set like this. You need to go like this. I do know myself enough to know that I'll find some way to acknowledge this on stage. You have to.

Well, I said something last time about the Bud Light cans. I said the joke about that on that show last time I was there. Yeah, he... If I had a machine gun, I would shoot everything. Did he walk off? Was that the end of the song or did he walk off? No, no, he goes, you know what?

First he warns them if they don't clap he's gonna leave Then it is funny To do a part of a song But he put a little soul into the part he did So that's what's funny to leave, he goes And we're rollin' You know what? I'm out Like if he just goes

During the clap he goes, you know what you're gonna get in the middle of the song There's a weird part You know what I came here to sing and dance and you guys aren't gonna play a part I'm out You put your funk back into it and then it's gone But yeah me and Bobby, we tried to, we did his show at the Ryman. We were looming. It's a Kid Rock comedy jam and then we,

the after party's at his bar. I wanna explain something to you though. I loomed, I loomed. Where'd you loom? I loomed in 7-Eleven, cause I thought it was Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. Nice. We were really just a heroin addict. He was very confused,

and I dapped him up hard. It was a mock. Ah, what's up? He's like, yeah. And later I was like, that wasn't Jay. So it was a false loom. Yeah, false loom, bro. That doesn't count.

I dapped him up, bro. Set his life straight after that. Bobby, we had the thing. I mean, Bobby was there for maybe one of my most humiliating moments in life. That was worse than taking my pants off on stage when I was younger. When that guy, we went to Limp Bizkit,

we were getting recognized a lot. It's our world. Of course, wheelhouse. It's our wheelhouse. And then a guy was walking across our aisle, and I see him telling Josh Edemiers and Bob, he's going, he's like, sorry man, I gotta, and he's pointing at me, it looks like.

He's like, he's like, I'm sorry. Basically, it seems like he's going like, I gotta go like say hi or whatever, take a picture. And me and Josh are like, okay, that's cool. Wait. The guy's coming, he's like, listen, I gotta. He's coming through the aisle. But he's going by me, he's going by Josh.

We're comedians, but we're like, all right. He palmed you out of the way to get the big J.O. Got it, that's trying to get, but he's going by me, he's going by Josh, we're comedians, but we're like, all right, he loves, got it, that's the weird thing, okay, whatever, and they go to Big Jay. These guys gave up the, they didn't even do the funny like we're comedians, too, he goes, oh, this guy's a fan of Jay's, like he's getting by, and I, as he's getting past Bobby, he's getting to me, I'm standing up already, and I almost give him like the,

it's no biggie, dude, it's fine, yeah, I'm watching the show almost, him like the, it's no biggie dude, it's fine, yeah I'm watching the show almost, kind of face, but if I, and I shake his hand and give him a half hug. And then as I'm hugging him, we're turning together and he goes, and he gets past me and then begins to speak to the people, his friends who he was going to talk to. Had nothing to do with me whatsoever.

And I hugged him. I hugged him, no, he'd dab me up because I went to do it to him. I thought he was coming to talk to. Had nothing to do with me whatsoever. And I hugged him. I hugged him. No, he'd dab me up because I went to do it to him. I thought he was coming to pay his respects to me. More love. And he was baffled. And then have two comedians looking up at you while I just hugged him.

I hugged a stranger. Intimate hug, do it, intimate hug. Way too intimate. That feeling, better than when my son was born. I felt more joy in my fucking heart knowing that jay just hugged him And then jay, but jayden jay didn't acknowledge right? He was like, yeah, it's cool No idea No idea he started talking with friends and I'm sure had to and then I just stood neck He his friends were right next to me. So I was like, what the fuck is so much joy? No idea. And he started talking to his friends. And I'm sure had to, and then I just stood next to,

his friends were right next to me. So I was like standing there. Turned him by. His friend was like, who the fuck's that guy? He's like, I don't know. I don't know if I can do, need a hug. Yeah, I guess a stranger who hugged me and thanked me. I thanked him.

I also thanked him for nothing. I thanked him for his fanship. He was not displaying. It was brutal. One of the greatest, one of the greatest feelings I've ever felt in my life. To see that, because all day. Because he was getting, let me say, we go to these concerts, we always go one, two, like who's getting ready, and Jay at a concert will be, it will start out like one, two, three, four, all of a sudden he'll come back 55, and I'll be like six.

God damn, y'all are tabulating it like Google man We just joke around and a lot of he gets recognized a lot and that day we were both getting ready But Jay was getting hit up like people were coming up Yeah, flipping out crowd surfed out of the bar. He got so into it that he just assumed this another one I go fire right now. Are we kidding bro? This guy's pissed all over that fire He's on fire right now. Are we kidding bro? This guy pissed all over that fire You know, it's not a comedy club I'll tell you another time I did this recently next time we went to me

Christine Josh and Justin went to go see Rob Zombie Alice Cooper We were waiting on the lawn me and Justin waiting along while Christine and Josh Went to the bathroom and I'm just sitting there smoking a cigarette and there's like a lady and like looks like her son It was like her older son He's like, you know older teen are just staying there and they keep looking at me and I start saying that Justin I'm just like this is worse than anything I'm like why because I just go just come up and fucking say something don't just sit there and stare like come I'll do Whatever. It's like Jesus Christ and then the the husband came over and fucking say something. Don't just sit there and stare like, come, I'll do whatever. It's like, Jesus Christ.

And then the husband came over and they were just waiting for him. It had nothing to do with me at all. I was like, I think I used the word there. I think I even used it when I go, it's when these people start looming. They weren't looming at all, they were just living their lives next to me.

Their father is taking that shit. I just wanna say real quick. I just wanna say real quick. That's it. I just want to say real quick, I think I just got sight back in my right eye. Welcome back. Hey! Welcome back. I was a little nervous for a couple minutes.

Mayhem strokes. I got sight back in my eye. Good, good, good. I knew eventually the blood would start hitting it again. Thanks. I can't believe you never wrestled though. You can play jiu-jitsu now. No, my son is-

Well, get you into it. I got a guy in Long Island. My son's with Igor. Igor Gracie. Sick, how old is he? He's 11. Nice. He's been with him for four years. Man, this guy's a little beast already.

I think I'm, this is the thing. They give him a yellow belt or something, or like what, is he belt system? He's got a gray belt with a yellow stripes on it. All right, he's getting up there. But I wanna do this. I think I'm gonna join. Yeah, go play.

I'm 54. You're big. What? Listen, no, no, no, listen. That's the business, that's the business. You don't use other words. You're heavy. No, I don't like that one either.

That's not it. Oh, I thought that was the one we're using now. No, we're not using heavy. Okay, that's my bad. I'll take big over heavy, but go ahead. I think that I... Oh, you're Lizzo, light. Hey, look, I'm not gonna sugar coat it.

You'll get in shape doing Jiu Jitsu. Yeah? Buddy, a good coach with a... Nah, that's what I'm saying. Is lower impact than any of the other martial arts, really, in a way, because you're connected with the ground most of the time.

You're big, you'll just bully. Your job is to bully the lighter students to get stronger while you figure out the techniques of jiu-jitsu. So I should fight the kids. Well, lighter guys, I'll put you to wrestle with like a younger dude that needs to get beast strong. And the only way to do it is to put a big heavyweight on him and like, okay, now get out from underneath this guy. And you learn, like your body forms into the shape of that. I heard it. Unless you can wear the jacket. I heard him. You forms into the shape of that. I heard it.

Unless you can wear the jacket. You got big and heavy in there. I heard it, I heard big and heavy. No, I'm just saying, I'm not saying you. I mean, you're talking about me. No, but what I mean is it's good, it's a benefit in jiu-jitsu to be heavy and then you will learn the techniques

and your body will tone quick. Really? Because wrestling is a cardiovascular exercise, but also your muscular endurance is pushed, really. And that means you burn fat quick, you get in super shit. That's why it's popular again. Lewis, tell me all the time to take it. That is good.

And plus you can handle anything. Somebody steal your car keys, you can wrestle them back for it. Here's the problem I have. We're in New York, man, fuck. You're at the turnstile and you can just front headline the guy if he fucks you up. We're in the suburbs now.

Okay, good. My bad, I thought you were me and Gritty in the streets. Let me ask you a question though, here's my problem. My real problem. I have two big toe dead toenails. Nice, rip him off, dude. We'll all laugh at you, man. We'll all laugh at you, just. We'll all laugh at you.

Just tear it off. I'm embarrassed. Once you tear it off, it'll take like a couple days and it don't even hurt anymore. I can't do that. I will not rest. I won't jujitsu you with the bad toenail. I'll do it for you.

I'll do it for you. Like I offer. But if you have a bad toenail, is that? Fuckin' tape that shit up and get on the mat. So tape it up. Okay. You'll be all right. And wear the jacket. You'll have about 48 large. Okay. You'll be all right. And wear a jacket.

You'll have about 48 large. Wear socks. 48 long. I don't know if I like the word large. What was it? 48 long, my bad, I misspoke. Maybe wear ninja shoes? Yeah, you can wear some tabby boots.

That's what they call them. Tabby boots, yeah. Tabby boots, right? They have to split in the middle. They'll get sticky underneath and that way you can really stick it on the mat. And then also from that one movie I saw you could put a Chinese star in the toe.

In the tabby boot. And fucking send it. Flick that thing. You know what I mean? Change the channel with it. Ninja III domination. Now somebody told me this. Turtle power.

Somebody told me this and maybe you can, somebody said that Judo is better than Jiu Jitsu. You're a Judo man, really. Is Judo better than Jiu Jitsu? Okay, we're talking a street fight, right? Yep. Judo, I'll fucking slam you on your head, right? Ass over teakettle and fucking drop,

and we land on the concrete, the fight is over. That's their whole mentality. Judo. Judo, yeah. The reality of the situation is sometimes you throw the guy and it's tumbling, bumbling. That's how Ronda Rousey started in Judo. You can be like Ronda Rousey.

That's hot. That would be hot. With a how Ronda Rousey started in judo. You can be like Ronda Rousey. That's hot. That would be hot. With a ponytail? Hell yeah. Oh man. A side pony? Dude, you doing judo flips with people in a side pony? I like.

His boxing's way better than Ronda's. I just wanna get that mole off. Jacob, put your notes please. Side pony for Bobby? Write that down! Start paddling this canoe! So judo is a. Judo's sick.

I mean judo, listen, best judo players become... Judo's sick. I mean, judo, listen, the best judo players become excellent jujitsu players. Jujitsu's more like liquid, like no matter what, I can get to his back and choke him out. No matter what, I got a trick up my sleeve. I can catch him in the head and arm. I get the darts. You know, I switch, change that to a guillotine.

No, that doesn't work. I go spin to his back. If, oh, his back, his scape, oh, okay, go knee on belly. And then you transition place to place to place to place and it's fluid. Judo is, let me throw this guy down as hard as I can and hopefully I squeeze the guts out of him. You know, like bam, smash him.

And then they have techniques like head and arm and there's more pins because you remember, Judo is also an Olympic sport. And so they play it by the sport where yeah that's a pawn if I throw the guy onto his back and splash him then the fight's over because we're simulating crushing the guy on concrete or a hard ground and then that's why they broke off

from one another. Jiu Jitsu went okay gentle art, like let me subdue everyone. Like, let me just use his fight against him. And Aikido is in there too, like on a different branch of the tree. But then Judo came down. And anytime you take a sport and make it, okay, here are the fixed rules, it's algorithm crops up where suddenly there's different techniques that work the best because these are the rules. So for instance, Muay Thai, they can elbow each other and punch and kick and it's become a thing where some gyms are very good at clench fighting

and kneeing each other, right? So you have a whole list of kneeing techniques. Other ones are boxing gyms, basically, where the guy avoids kicks by wading through them and just taking abuse and knocking guys out. Some other gyms have kickboxing far away and guys are dancing. So you get whatever you put into the pads.

Or judo, with judo, back to judo, there's a wide variety of techniques where some gyms step behind the guy's leg and throw him down. Other gyms do full spin around, hold the gi and throw him on his face. There's so many techniques in all the different sports that the ones that are the best crop up. If you had to pick one, if you had to pick one,

what would you pick? For you, every athlete is different. Well, if you had only one., what would you pick? For you? For you. Every athlete is different. Well, if you had only one. For me, I picked my way. I did mixed martial arts. I did Jiu Jitsu, kickboxing. But if you had to pick one of them to fight, what would you do?

Well, it depends on who I'm gonna fight. You're gonna fight somebody. Are we talking street fights? Street fight, you only get one martial art. You get to pick one. But it's wrestling. I mean, look, martial arts is such a thing that, the answer is complicated.

You know, yeah, you wanna be able to keep your feet the best. If you try to aggressively gay sex the person coming at you. Yeah, I mean, steadily. Not like grabbing, but like nipping with your hands at their piece. Well, that's what Jacob's been doing the whole time to me. Yeah, yeah, no I know.

I, by the way, we have fantastic footage I've been having of Jacob looking at Mayhem like a god. It's everything he's wanted to be his whole life. Put some music on that, clip that. He looks, you know Mayhem looks like Jacob if he took a Captain America serum. Yes, before and after.

Hey kids. It's my dream to go into the chamber and come out. Looking like this. It was my dream to go in the chamber and come out. I mean, this is Captain American King. You got it. Good job, Josh, you're a man. Jacob's been a smaller guy in such scary places

for so long that it's like. No, he's good. He's like, Frodo, look at him, he's strong. Like a very, like a... Jacob's in great shape, he's very strong. I know, bro, I look at athletes all day. He's got fire in his heart. He's not gonna be able to take on the six black guys that are screaming at him in the streets.

He's got that dog in him like, catch Lamar! Yeah, but that dog is more of a yappy chihuahua. That dog is... That dog is being capped by a chubby drag queen Oh man That dog is jumping over a bigger dog saying where do we go now? That dog's in first class I want to take up like just cuz I want to know how to Okay, listen man

Which one's the best for me? Jitsu first I'm telling you Sarah's got a gym in town. Sarah's right. Yeah, and you know, Ninja's got a gym in Long Island. Man, I know guys out here, jiu-jitsu is like serious here. It's a serious business. They've been doing it a long time.

Yeah, yeah, Matt's got a... That makes a difference because the culture, the culture of it, because in Brazil, the gyms, the MMA gyms are very refined. They've been doing jiu-jitsu here for a good long time. Who did you study in there? What is your jiu-jitsu? My original was Jacare Kavakante,

which is like, man, he belted me up like first when I was a kid, so I knew with the jacket, I was an expert at choking everyone out. Was that Jacare, the fighter Jacare? No, I fought him like way later. He's baby Jacare, he's like the young Jacare. So it's weird how that works. Oh, Jacare Souza, that's his name.

Yeah, yeah, Jacare Souza. But Jacare Cavacanti was an old school G that trained with the original Gracies in Brazil. So weird sensei to have, all this history, holds Gracie, died in a paragliding accident, so I messed up the legacy a little bit. It was a very strange time in my life. Yeah, Jockeray, oh there he is.

Oh Jason, Jason. Choke the guy, choke the guy, he would tell me. We have to take a break. Oh God bless. Before we take a break, let me give the audience something to think about. Maybe we'll get the answers when we come back. If me and Christine were to both take jiu-jitsu and I beat the shit out of her at the house,

can we argue to the cops that it was a fair fight? Yes. Yes. We're both trained killers. Yeah. You're both trained killers. Christine, lesson's on me. You think I won't fight you at the house?

Wow. Christine. You might win, but I'll get some fucking stuff in. fight you at the house. Wow. Christine. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be I'm gonna be with glamour moves like the Darce choke. It's gonna be glamour moves. Jay's gonna have to pull a steak knife out of his chest. He's gonna have a cut co in his gut. Yeah. Christine's gonna yell the word judo and bury it right in my chest. Judo! I'm gonna have Dawkins come up and fight ya. We should take a break. We'll come right back everybody. Yeah, it's the bonfire. We're hanging out with Jason Mayhem Miller!