The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Low T in Nashville

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

The Bonfire is live in Nashville and getting to know Sara the engineer.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on... What is the SXM? Yeah, Series XM. You can say Series XM. Thank you very much. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the SMX app. No, say series XM. Serious XM! You can listen on the Serious XM app. Go to seriesXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J.

Olkerson and Robert Kelly. I have said it. I've said it a thousand times when I hear this song right to being I forget. If a ginger steals your boyfriend, that relationship wasn't long for this world. If it's a ginger, a hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. If you get first of all, if you're a girl and a guy leaves you for a freckley ginger, that's suicide. I understand suicide Don't do it, but I get you wanting to Did you measure if you lose a girl to a freckley ginger guy?

Well, listen there are some anomalies out there where they've got it together a ginger guy and and our decent looking guy But you know Andy Fury decent looking guy decent guy nice looking man You know I mean better as a strong bill gray as he's gray better gray. Yeah, sure of gray ginger You can put up with yeah, but a full 21 year old 26 year old Ginger just losing somebody to a ginger. Oh damn it was those a freckley shoulders Kristian have you banged the ginger? Yes Never hear this I got crabs twice from a ginger guy say it again. I don't think so I'm going through my don't think so

I mean, you remember. It's like way more black dick than Nazi dick. I can tell you that. Oh my god. That's true. Oh, we are definitely freaking out Sarah. She's. Wow. Did you have to hear what Christina said in the past? That's when they rape you to show you what a homo you are. This is funny. Different show that's been used. Remember, when you remember a couple of seconds ago Sarah when you thought that me and Bobby were

kind of picking on Christine's and you hear the vile things come out of her whore mouth. I can have a black child. These are all real drops of her voice. I remember we're on the we're on the plane. We're in the car here and I go. Is this the Bible belt? He goes. It's the buckle. It's the buckle of the

Bible. And Christine comes in here with her garbage. She's terrible. She's terrible. Which isn't Jacob in her place. Jacob, you're a gentleman. You're a Southern gent. Yes. I mean, you're not, you're from Jersey, but you know what I mean? You look like wearing a heart on my Southern gent. You really are. Jacob loves and excuses to drink. You'll see next Moon Tower. Jacob likes dressing up. Just want a little cowboy. I'm very excited. You're a good question for me, it's who I am.

Yeah. He's a dutton. It is who he is. He's a dutton. He's just in his blood, a cowboy. Is that Yellowstone or something in the show? Yeah. The dutton, yeah. Yeah.

We even watch Yellowstone. You haven't what? I'm gonna, I'll see you guys later. Uh, I'm out. I'm out. You even watch Yellowstone. You have it, what? I'm gonna, I'll see you guys later. I'm out. I'm out. You even watch Yellowstone? No. The number one show on television.

You the elevator pitch. Okay, man, it's a family just trying to hold on to the land. He made a vow to his father. Oh dude, I need like math, cartels. They have that weight. The first episode, this month, there's Buffalo, there's Grizzly Bears. There's meth, doesn't this take place in all

timing country times? Is bikers, is all kinds of stuff, man. There's electricity in the old stone. It's, yeah, they have electricity. Of course they do. The photo takes from the past. No, that's 1883. That's the pre-quality Yellowstone.

When is this? 19, 20, something? No, this is right now. They're trying to make everything into a ski resort. They're trying to make everything, you know, like, you know. It's the cell, they're trying to make everything into a ski resort. They're trying to make everything, you know, like, you know, they're trying to make everything into like, their stupid land. In like Nashville, they're trying to do what they did to Nashville to Montana. Get all the people from LA to move out here and scuzz the place up.

Yeah, scuzz it up. And how do you feel about the LA people coming out here and scuzzing up your beautiful town? I mean, I'm a transplant. We're aware L.A. The Hampshire. You know, that's that's beautiful though. That's beautiful America. Well, part of the Hampshire you're from Southern New Hampshire.

Like a natural area. Okay. I have a place up in Holderness in the Hampshire by Squam Lake. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I like up there. No way. Yeah.

That's right. I too. That was the highest pitch. I don't think she cares. That was a new level of high pitch I'm gonna see you in the next video. Oh, baby. What did my sign up for? Oh, my God. I mean, did you know that we were coming in? Did you know?

I knew you guys were coming in. Did you know about us? No. I had no idea. All right, well, it's gonna be a fun two hours. I mean, for a great surprise. No, I am. You're from the hamps. You can take it

Yeah, you're Nashua you guys are crazy people up there. Oh, yeah. Yeah Um, and then at the end of the show we always play a game. We're gonna blindfold you Sarah and then Uh, it's called fucker fight and then we're gonna do one of those two to Christine each and then you gotta see if you could tell if we're fighting her or fucking her Yeah, cool And before that we do a thing called gay favors. Yeah. Me and just me and Jay. There is no blindfold for that.

I need direct eye contact the whole time. As we do the gay favor, you have to look us in the eye. No, no. If we look at each other, then we're gay. Yeah, of course. You see? And then who needs that to happen on the radio? I'm not prepared to tell my family that.

Jay, I have something on my inner thigh can you do me a favor? Can you just check it out and tell me what you see? Sure Be honest, dude is my butthole super shallow gay favors Eyes this is crazy. Oh what a good song I'm crazy. This is crazy. Oh, what a good song. The party right eyelashes were made for the song. You know, let me get to the part, right? Sound like Jimmy Fox now. Look how happy Louis

oh man you love where you're so lazy and it's me you need to show how deep is your love I need your falsetto there Sarah I really need to know Cause we're living in the world of fools Plaking us down Where we all should let us be It belongs to you and me Shhhh, na na na na na Are the dogs barking? On the plane today

We've confused the hell out of Sarah Sarah. We've come in here on many different vibes That was beautiful which has happened after Christine just scuzzle place up. She's a awful attitude Well, you even said was just us good. It's disgusting and new Hampshire I say? You said you all about the black things. I was so sorry. I was a stranger. Oh my god.

She was Christine. I don't even remember you saying that one. Is that AI? I mean, sorry. I apologize. I just joined the show. I really don't know what's happening. You don't have to become friends with Christine.

I promise you that. I mean, I'm friends with everybody. So don't say things like that. I'm down. I say you're ready to go, I'm friends with everybody, so sorry. Don't say things like that. I'm sad. I'm sad. You're going to black cock run of Nashville. Ding.

We'll see you guys later. Wow. Christine wants to not get asleep until she gets kid rocks cock at her mouth. She made that vow to me last night. You think he's got a big one. I bet he's got a thinny longie. A thinny, a thinny longie. That'd be my best guess. Well, how many colors? I say two. I say two. I bet it's very pink and not very vain. It's very smooth. Yeah. I guess on Kid Rock's penis. I say it's almost one color. I say it fades. I agree. I

a similar pink on the head as shaft. Yeah. I think the shaft in the head very similar and Proportion we're probably gonna find tonight We're more than likely getting invited back to his house after this because kid rock as I could tell you last year Last year was my warm-up year. I was like, hey, I'm gonna do the show at the rhyme and with him and then Of course, we're gonna hit it off. He's gonna thick my comedy's next level and we're gonna become best friends We'll be shooting guns by midnight. Right. So he said said hi he introduced me and went to the other side of the stage uh and then afterwards showed up at his own after party for 13 minutes so it didn't happen last year but this year everything's different now I don't know why what do you have a plan of attack well no what what if really what if he really takes me under his wing tonight

and wants nothing to do with you? I mean, no problem with that. Tell me what it's like, dude. I'll be one, I'm fun to be one degree of Kevin Bacon from, uh, from Kid Rock. That's fine. I'm one degree of separation from somebody that makes me happy. He's not going to, he's not going to want anything to do with either one of us But we both were our kid rock outfits. Well, let's look at the lineup again. Yeah, sure because I'm the line up there Now you're right. Well one Chris Porter is his close friend He's on the show Chris Porter dusty slay Dusty slay has probably been the kid rocks house. He's probably been a hundred times. They're down here

They're big they're big ballers in the game. Sorry, you know Dusty Slay I've heard the name. Okay. How about you? Did you know Robert Kelly? No great awesome Bobby Kelly though, right? Yeah, you'll Bobby De Niro. You know Bobby De Niro like Robert De Niro. I call him Bobby De Niro. Oh, oh Bobby Kelly. Yeah, you know Bobby Kelly sure I pitch again. Okay, the lineup AJ Wil Wilkerson I can't picture in my head So maybe they're gonna be great friend Dusty slay Jordan Jensen very fun. She's hilarious, but I'm worried She's gonna she might bull us out she might bull us out of being kid rocks friend. She might be kid rock

She has a motorcycle dude. She rides a motorcycle in New York. Damn it. Chris Porter's already his friend. And she looks like kid rocks brother. And then you Bobby, and then me, and then Josh Wolfe. Damn. Yeah, we're like, we're, we're, we're, we're fourth or fifth on that wrong of going to his, of his mock up White House out in the woods. Yeah, we're done

We're not going we're gonna wind up but like a Denny's or waffle house. It will still be fun. We'll live a good time Wherever I end up tonight. Yeah, I'm shooting Tranny cans of bud lights I'm gonna actually hook up with a Tranny later. Yeah, yeah, we celebrate our own ways. Yeah, we all celebrate our own ways Today ways. We all celebrate our own ways. Today, we did the lounge life. We did do lounge life. I mean lounge life. We just needed to know how to act. I mean, she actually ratted us out on the plane, which was disgusting. She told me we get on the plane. We're in first class. And I'm talking to the first class stewardess or flight attendant, whatever they like to be called now, because I'm from different generations.

And she goes, yeah. The sky bitch? The sky bitch. The sky hall. I'm from the 90s, Def Jam generation. You're sky bitch. You're sky bitch. You're sky bitch.

You're sky bitch. Can you guys tell the fakers that really don't belong there? Yes, of course. I'll tell you what though. I want a little bit. Today, go ahead. Yeah.

She actually said to the sky bitch. Sky bitch? She goes, yeah, we're usually in, we're usually in a comfort plus. Nice of a eye. Yeah, but you're with us. I said, what a treat. I'm usually in comfort. Yeah, you don't say it's a treat. That was a, that's a wacky thing to do.

You were trying to flex a little bit by saying like, this isn't super far into me. I'm, I'm not one of those way back coach pieces of shit. I'm usually in the middle section. It's, it's a, it's a lame brag. You want, you get it for dick. You walk in the plane small talk guys I wasn't trying to brag. You need any small talk. You don't need small talk in first class. There's no small talk small talk is for People in the back they have to small talk because they have to get know each other because it's so close

We might as well know someone you're sharing elbows for the next couple hours. We walk in they didn't even get their own water They have to wait till the cart comes down We had water waiting for us on our seats. It was water waiting there. Chris, he's not prepared for that I was gonna ask for water when I walked in oh no and it was just there. Yeah, she's there. Yeah because we're first class They saw you were a fraud and then we she said that and I was like stuff stuff when you get on the plane You go right you walk in like you know where you're going and you're sitting at your seat and you don't talk. You go, how you doing?

Good morning, sit down and then she, yeah. I was gonna say, in fact, what I will do is if I walk in first class and I have to wait when just the first class is getting on and I have to wait because somebody's in the aisle taking time putting their bags up, I'll look at the flight attend Skybitch. Skybitch. I'll look at the flight attempt skybitch. Skybitch. I'll look at the skybitch and I'll even give her like a little eye roll of like,

must be this guy's first rodeo and he'll be able to first class. Exactly. And she'll give me a smile, she says, I know, right? It's like you should be in your seat. Three seconds upon standing in front of your aisle. Yeah, because you're in first class, you should know how to fly. Learn how to act. Learn how to act. Get your bag up, get in, you're done. I, because you're in first class, you should know how to fly. Learn how to act. Learn how to act. Get your bag up, get in, you're done. I actually went to get into my seat and I was sitting next to somebody famous,

the whole flight, and I didn't realize it until we pulled up to the gate. I don't know how we didn't realize it because what I will say, before we found out who this was, it's a female, Jacob. I want you to almost guess who this is. Let's play a little game here, we see if you can guess who was sitting next to Bobby

definitely famous very famous television fire context Lou I don't like it different song for that for game yeah yeah wrong audio wrong audio though what I know her? Just take your time, Jacob, uh, I go, I go, G-E-L-O, you're panicking. Hello.

Take your time, buddy. We got nothing but time here. You need to get up. Show me 15 minutes of, look, you're cranking your microphone. Just take your time. We can, we can vamp. We can vamp. We have so much to learn about Sarah.

She's got so much she wants to tell us about you. But you have to, why she got run out of new hampshire? Probably for drug muleing or something? I can't talk about it. I knew she can't talk about it. It's gonna be on 2020. We're gonna see it. Just so you know, I'm remembering your face there.

I will call the helpline. It's okay for you. I guarantee there's a kid in the hamster that never met his mom. She just had him and ran. She's left. She had a leaf. Yeah, yeah.

She was a month ago. Yeah, you're not gonna kill my dreams of serious ex-engineering. You? How you was singer? Oh, God no. Are you, are you playing instrument? No.

Okay. Do you have any only fans? No. Well, those are my three girl questions. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been a sky bitch? No.

I'm not been a sky bitch. No, I'm not gonna sky bitch. I just mind. I said this point. You know, it's okay. Lou, how you doing? Um. I swear to God, his arms are going. I really like it Lou. I think it will. But you didn't see Lou. Lou was, he had his arms crossed. He was doing whatever he was doing. He's a magic man.

That's why. I don't like to see him panic like that, though. I was on the show. On the plane, sitting next to this woman, the whole flight, woman. It's a woman and the thing I was gonna say, a woman for sure, very famous. Very famous. Very famous for, since I was a child,

and still actively famous, I believe. Not as actively, but yes not as she retired Retired-ish. I think there's still I think she's still on a show Wait, don't take us as yet. That's not fun Jacob She's gonna end the game You gotta go sit on the woman's heart next game forget it. We're done No now what I'll say when I got into the seat and Bobby had asked her, you know, he had to sneak in next to her. I was kind of being a goof. She was on the phone,

wearing sunglasses, and I went, I leaned in kind of weirdly kind of joking around with Jay going, excuse me, ma'am, I need to get into my seat. Yeah. Yeah. And she got up the weird. She didn't really overthink it because she was really on the phone. And she was making that phone call, everyone's business. It was a full volume phone call with reckless abandon for giving a shit about anybody else. I mean, I was at one point, again, before knowing who it was, I laughed with Christine for a second because I'm like, what's this conversation? Like she's just going for it.

There was a lot of those on that slide. In fact, after we figured out who it was, did you notice when we saw them in the terminal too? Also loud talking to the person that matter. Like she just is a very, if famous people don't get told to shut the phone up. But yeah, but I usually think famous people more kind of want to like, if I could go anywhere like Sal

Sal like puts a hat on and he would put on funny like nose and must have she's Yeah, because he has another season to do He can't have people recognize who's face. Yeah, no, but I'm saying he just tries to like lay like she seemed very like Why is not more people coming around me and she was really making a scene of it not a scene like in a negative way a Spectacle of all of her speaking. She's more of a personality though Then if she doesn't have a talent. Are you know, don't say that now Jacob Jacob before you guess here

Let me say something I disagree with Bobby. Does she have a talent? Yes, she does. She can sing when required to and lyrics that will knock you dick in the dirt The one that said I write lyrics about tragedy in her life. I'm giving you some clues here. Yeah God would love these lyrics. Yes God would enjoy these lyrics very God I think actually helped enjoy these lyrics very very pretty very pretty very pretty very pretty for acting but she she does no no no no no no no television personality Lisa right? I mean no no Jacob is so he's here with Jacob said in response to that no he went Jesus yeah which is a good, that's a good one. Now TV Charlene tilted

no, not television. Yeah, but you can't say television. Television. Television. Definitely television, not from movies. Yeah, but definitely TV. Television personality was beautiful in her prime. Now top eight worst asses I've ever seen in my life. Never in actress was she always personality? She never acted in anything. I mean, I don't think so, but the ass of an Asian boy. I mean, but not even an Asian boy. It's like, yeah, it's almost, yeah, two Asian boys on top of each other.

Yeah, it's like two flat asses mushed together. Yeah, these, this, she had custom jeans made for the seventh worth as I've seen in 20 years. She goes, can you cut these jeans down to bad ass? Oh, I got it. Yeah, Kathy Lee fucking Gifford. Boom. Yay. Great job, Lou. Good job. That was fantastic. You're back in the game, buddy. Kathy Lee Gifford. I got it from the age boy. Yes. I would have gotten really Yeah, really. Yeah, she used to be hot and you know age does its thing. Yeah. Damn, that's weird. You still got it from that. I thought you Well, she's very pretty back in the day. She her face is still beautiful hair.

Uh, everything still beautiful. We should track the older woman. Her hand, when she reached for her little complimentary water in the middle scared the shit out of me. I thought a little skeleton was. Yeah, it looked like a commercial for evil dead rises. I literally just went, she was like giving it. Yeah, she was asking you to come into a gingerbread house. She made her hair and wow.

I mean, yeah, it reached over and it scared the shit out of me. But still beautiful and really nice. So polite and nice to hold flight. And this is what a piece. I don't think talking super loud on your phone is polite. Well, she kind of chilled out. That was at the beginning and then the flight flight didn't bother me at all.

And then went to the bathroom three times, weird. Yeah, pretty weird. Three times. Three times. I don't know what she did. Kathy Lee, did you go in the, and if I would have seen it, Half of three times weird. Yeah. Pretty weird. Three times. Three times. I don't know what she did. Kathy Lee's, did you go in the, if I would have seen it, I would have gone there just to put my ass on where Kathy Lee's ass was.

Well, you said weird. Yeah, well, you'd have to actually put your ass on the seat and the wall. Oh, for sure. Yeah, she was just doing bumps the whole time. But, try to stay alert. Stay alert for the Lord. She was really nice. And then at the end, this is what a Jack S.I.M. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I don't know why I said that

Julia and you go you pushed outrageous Well then I look Yeah, it was weird though because why would she a stranger want want you to talk to her am I missing something? Well because most people on a plane will talk to each other Jacob in first class. It's a different thing No, I disagree. You have a. I check right out. I try to sleep immediately. You're watching. I'm watching. I didn't give video. I'm sorry, Lou. I tried to give video of J's head sliding off the window. I was howling. You kept falling asleep and your head would just, you'd rest it and then it would slide into the window

Hit the window and you'd go back up and put it back the same exact spot. You did it like 75 times. I hate in your headphones I got to wear the over the ear headphones and it's hard to find the right no I'm gonna buy you a pillow. You need a pillow You need a pillow to put on the window to keep your head in place Dude, you look like a fucking retarded dog. Yeah, it doesn't really confuse Yeah, I was very very confused, but that was enjoyable. Yeah, she was really nice man I wish I would if I knew it was her this is the this is how lucky I am because if I did know was her I would have Struck up a conversation. Of course. I would have done something special.

I've seen you do something crazy like that. I'm terrible with famous people. Maybe you were like that lady out there as like a newscaster or something and you went out and just I stand both stood behind. You didn't know that I wasn't going to go with you also. Yep. You left me hanging. I didn't realize I was leaving you.

You hadn't registered to make such a bold move. I just I feel when I see famous people, I want to talk to them. It's great. I know, but it's not because I have nothing to say. Sarah, are you familiar with the musical work of Kathie Lee Gifford? Not in the past. You only know her as a television personality.

Yeah. Oh, no. Well, she's a singer-songwriter. She threw this little number together. He saw Jesus. If you want to listen to it, these are the lyrics. She wrote when she found her husband dead. Does the beginning?

No, you need the beginning. No, you got to go to the beginning, we talked about it. And we were just like, I saw him. His mouth was foaming. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist.

I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. I took his wallet out of his pocket and his watch off his wrist. gospel song It's not true. Pause it for a second, little. No, no, that's right. Like this shitty pretentious lyrics. You don't know that coming downstairs. How am I a gospel song? You know, you know, you don't know that she get fucking wine. I'm talking every morning on TV. She actually had three drinks on the plane. Did you really? Yeah, she was trash. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a drag drag. How to present it? It was it's the morning. Well, she was drinking baby

She gets toe up baby With her glasses on getting hammer. She said she said to the lady she goes what's up leather jacket I'm going to fucking see Jesus can I get some soda water? She goes yeah, great And she goes and I'd like a thing of wine and the lady goes well Do I'm gonna mix it in for you? goes, no, I want wine and the soda. What I'm going to do it myself. Damn. She goes, they just want a little spitzer.

She got three of those. Yeah. Three. Yeah. Damn. We're having a party, man. That's almost about all wine. Yeah.

That's why she was talking loud when we got off the plane. Girl, you get to turn the music back up. Sarah, can't wait to hear where this goes. Very excited. He was lying on the floor. He was like this. Jesus. She did my look at his face of terrified fear. Yeah, because Jesus killed her husband Yeah, Jesus He left no fingerprints

There was no evidence, but I knew it was him Told the police to sweep for Jesus pubic hairs I watch a lot of us for you Sweep got to do a rape kid on Frank Givert from Jesus You think Jesus is Siemens in this system you're the DNA's in the system Run through the system. Let's see if we got a we got a match son of a bitch Jesus. This is this is Jesus is just That's right right, push him doesn't Jesus and Frank literally together He was gay for Jesus the whole time. Is that what they almost broke up?

She said I know he was in mind. He was always his. He's a hemorrhagged Jesus with a together. Oh, Frank, if we use to have sex with Jesus. It was very progressive. They were progressive Catholic Christians. I think we keep going in this direction, but we say it's gonna have him get us out of this building.

Yeah, I think we gotta stop. It was the Bible, buckle. The Bible, buckle. I feel bad energy right now. He saw Jesus. You know, like religious music. Diaz here. Come on. I know. You're thinking about it. Are you a Catholic? Yeah, but I could not tell you the last time I went to a church.

Well, you get a hell. Yeah. You go. I mean, like that was the gift. Why you ran from the Hampshire because your parents, she's running from something terrible to hamster. Yeah, she is. What is it? Small town life. I can't say.

Was it illegal to dance there? Like, foot loose? Very. Very. Very. You're karaoke queen up there. You thought you'd bring it down here? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. You accidentally killed a bike you at sex with? Oh? You don't give up anything you know you weighed them down in the lake up there in Hampshire Christine killed a trucker. Yeah Chrissy, no, I thought you killed a trucker Black little you at home Everything looks flipped did you get a new studio room? I Did I can't wait to show you guys.

It looks nice. You switched it out. I can't wait to show you guys. I am going to show you my new things. Bobby, please, read the copy word for word. I made it 70 point, hell, thatica for you, dumb dumb. Is that all of our ad reads? Oh, we are laced up today. please read the copy word for word. I made it 70 point

hell thatica for you dumb dumb. Is that all of our ad reads? Oh, we are laced up today. Yeah, that's right. Sarah, you ever see a couple of guys who are dripping with ad reads? That's right. A little man by the name of Steven Singer is super into us. I love Steven Singer. I know. We're actually in a building right now, which is pretty wild the serious XM studios are in the building Breached on a Rita that Nate

Brigazzi, yeah broke the attendance record how crazy is that he broke the attendance record? It's a hockey stadium, right Sarah? Yeah predators play here. Yeah, one comedian. Do you know Nate Brigazzi? My answer's got be no to a lot. Wow. I'm sorry. That makes me feel much better about the fact that you, I know we have an answer, but you definitely knew why I was coming in. But it's, yeah, you know, big J. Augustin is.

Oh, yeah, come on. Let her answer. Let her answer. Okay. Why'd you have to, Bobby? I'm sorry. We knew. Yeah, but you know what?

She didn't know Nate. She didn't know me by two different names. Robert O'Bobby. Does it kind of make you a little happy that there's some a Nashville that doesn't know Nate? Yeah, finally. If you come to the 80s tomorrow night and make them feel shitty about themselves. I don't know you. But you go, can you give me some context?

He's like a 10s record at the British Center meetings. He's like, I don't know. I work there too, uh, can you give me some context? He's like a 10s record at the personal meetings. He's like, I don't know. I work there too. You think I would have heard about that. How many people, how many people did he sell tickets to? That's not the way. That's actually not the way to say it. 18, 18, 19,000.

19, let's say 19,000 people. Yeah. That's amazing. Hey, there's still a couple tickets left at Zany's for tomorrow. There are a couple tickets. Low ticket warning though, everybody. Yeah, for us. Low ticket warning. Low ticket warning.

Low T. Yeah, low low T tomorrow. Both of us have low T by the way too. Fifth low T and the tickets are low T. So we want to come watch a couple of of a feminine men. Yeah. Please come down.

We're going to be tired because we have low T. Oh, it's a nine o'clock show. My tits are so sore by then. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's so 19. That you think you might throw a tweet out for us or something. Yeah, hey, check out my buddies. Yeah, check out my, Hey, could I have a percent of you that see me in Nashville,

go see my buddies. He says he's coming to hang out. So, uh, I'll tell you what, yeah, he's just on everybody. So you just see no guaranteed. Nate Bargaz, he's on the crowd work. Luke, tweet that with his big face. Put our faces small behind him, put bonfire and Nate's face tomorrow, So you just you know guaranteed Nate Bargazze's on the crowd work. Luke, tweet that with his big face. Put our faces small behind him, put bonfire and Nate's face tomorrow,

Zane's nine o'clock. Yeah. Yeah, put that out. Say secret guests coming and then just give all of Nate's information. Yeah. And then put this arena with him in it. Because the photo of himself. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Say this is what he did in a Bridgestone arena. Imagine what he could do for us. And do you have the picture Christine of native Bridgestone? Yeah. It's awesome. It's so awesome. Yeah, it's I can't believe because I did a show with Nate. I don't know. It's got to be 15 years ago. We did a college together. Yeah. Young Nate. And on the way to the college, he, uh, he was open for me and he, uh, his car,

he had a shitty little car and we had to pull over because something fell off, but was still attached. So he had to go. He had to go. He had to go underneath the car at a gas station and just rip off the piece of his car and put it in his trunk. And just get it fixed later because we had to go to the show. Yeah, so I remember his shitty car. Then he got to then he got to win law. That was just good.

Exactly. We were driving on the 90, on 95. And he was like, God damn. I'm like, what is that? My car is something hanging off it. We left his car. We left his car in Jersey once. And I think like either Carla came to pick us up or something.

But like, yeah, we left his car because it broke down once. He goes, let me pull over. I go, what? He goes, give me one second. He crawled under his car. You heard just metal ripping from plastic. And he goes, I got it. And he just threw it in the trunk.

And then we went to, I took him to Frank Pepe's pizza for the first time. And then we went to the college and we did a show. And he did mediocre. I'll be honest, because he doesn't, he doesn't, but front me. Well, let me tell you something now. Now he's doing fantastic.

Wow. He does shows. And for cars, he told me, he showed me that if one were in town, if we want, we can hang out in his extra house. What? And, and yeah, and in that extra house, there's a, was it some kind of a limited edition brand new like Bronco or some music. Oh, yeah, you could use this if you come to town.

I hang out for a week. So sweet. I hate when famous people do that. Like Ralph used to do that all the time. But yo, man, player, you can use my house if you come to LA. But then I call them on it one time. I'm not around. I was gonna say can I say something?

I've never offered that to anybody because I don't mean it. Yeah. And I'm very afraid someone will take you up on that. We should take Nate up on it and take his car tomorrow. Just take his car. Just go. Show up. Like you said, we could take the Bronco.

We're going to go to the zoo. We're grabbing it. Is there a zoo here? Yeah, this is a zoo here. Is it a good zoo? I haven't been. Oh my god. What are you here all the time?

Do they let you out? Sarah, what the hell do you do when you're in this town? I mean, I have a bunk in the back. What did you do? Not this town. What did you do in the other town? Again, these are these are things. Are you married? Are you married? Oh, not at all. All right. She just laughed at that That's what she will answer her confidence just went out the window. Are you married? No, I would never crazy

Terrible family. I mean, they're pretty great Yeah, I like you need to get away from them. I mean, I love them to death, but I lived with them for 24 years. Big Irish Catholic family. Yep. Yep. Bunch of aunts and uncles.

You gotta all have kids. Meet at the grandma's house every year. Everybody running around some lobster horse shit in the backyard, right? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. You don't only do anal till you're married. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that you're married yeah yeah that's true yeah yeah

yeah it's true right if you guys care about the Bible yeah she does so isn't Kathy right you have the big backyard the uncles need they're fine at the beginning of the barbecue but by the end there's always one that's just an asshole says inappropriate stuff yeah. Always. Yeah? Always. Yeah. Mine alcoholics. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know Joe List? I come from where heroin stock. That seems you're real. Yeah, you're in. Sarah Hunter. Sarah, do you want? Of hot men? I've never shot a gun in my life.

Absolutely. You've never shot a gun. No, absolutely not. Me either. You moved to the in my life. Absolutely. You've never shot a gun. No, absolutely not. Me either. You moved to the wrong place though. Yeah. They carry guns here like it is dead wood. I don't know if guns are big here in Nashville, right?

Oh yeah, yeah. How they? Yeah. Yeah. I mean more so state of Tennessee, I'd say Nashville is like hippie, liberally, right? Like, yeah. Like the smoke shop that I went to next to Zany's

a while back, the guy have never seen it before. The guy has. Zany's tomorrow at nine o'clock. Tickets low. Ticket warning. Low ticket warning. There's only around 50. I think some are between 50 to 200 tickets are only left

Now it's a 250 cedar so they're moving yeah, we're very special guests his name rhymes with a tape potensky. Yeah Is that a good one? I don't even know that was good potensky though. It's not does not rhyme I'm not a good rhymer. I've never been good at rap or rhyming or songs. Well, yeah, I changed the first couple of letters. So how about me? Fate, fate, spark, Etsy, mate, mate, mate, Tarcatsky. Is that good? Mate Tarcatsky. Yes. It does technically work. It does work. That works. Yeah, but your, your, your energy right now is not helping with my confidence. I'm still baffled by the first one The first one threw me way off. Are you guys bumping phones seeing what's up?

Whoa, you guys changed info. What's going on? You were about to say some about it. You went to a cigar bar was it? Something like that with a gun in there. Oh, yeah, the guy had two Single holster like around the waist ones and I said this kind Jacob to go around like like Axel Rose belts Like that but it says like they these lay He had him going opposite direction, so he had one on each it wasn't a two gun holster. It was two one It was two one gun holsters, but It wasn't just like one piece that went around and had two holsters on it

He had a full belt that was one holsters or right he had a full belt That was one holster on the right and another full belt was And it looked crazy It looked absolutely bad shit crazy. I walked in I was like can I get back with Americans? But all right buddy. That's pretty serious firepower. You got there. He goes Nashville dude I was like, yeah, man. Did he have a, did you have a third belt to hold his pants up? Probably, yeah. He was a three-pounder.

And now he had a championship rodeo buckle on it. Oh, I used to, my, my first girlfriend, ever, that was such a funny thing that she was, you know, South Jersey, Rouse side of Philadelphia, like suburbs, she had so many championship, barrel racing, belt buckle trophies. Hot. So it's funny, this girl girl who nothing about her seemed really country Western Like this thing she was great at she had to put on like the stupid shirt and you know her hat Yeah, and spurs and go like the barrel racing was pretty funny. She was well though. She borderline couldn't read She was dumb as a door nowown but this she was really talented.

I love it. I'm very into country girls. I dated a girl with a bell buckle and yeah country music. She had a truck. She was very, it was hot. No, not a penis. I wasn't that lucky. No, she did have undeveloped boobs. A lot of those girls do. No, she did have undeveloped boobs. A lot of those girls do. From the inbreeding. It was country girls. Yes. They are.

Why are you crying? I'm not. I had to buy I drop some ice. I'm itchy. You think cousin fucking get y'all said. You hear about a inbreeding. I was like that way my boobs are small. Because inbreeding.

Yeah, you are Armenian. Those are the garbage people. That's a trash culture, horrible people, horrible hairy women. I don't talk about these people. It's not a horrible culture. It's a horrible culture of garbage people who have shag blue carpets.

I'm sorry, not true at all. Yeah, you're all eyebrowsy and shit. Yeah, I brought her in the pubic care connect. Yeah, no shit, like one big heart. Christine's not hairy at all though. What? I'm sorry. I Take care of it. Oh you do I don't walk around like a fucking in my natural state. I mean don't get mad at me I didn't call you Harry. I said you weren't

Oh, yeah, if you're like Christine's gonna laser hair move when you go where you go right here It's gonna cost $70,000 right here. It's gonna cost $70,000. It's gonna take some an out of you. We can dehair Christine. She's gonna have to go to the place for three months. I would have to go. I mean, I would have to do. You have to get to leave the hair everyone has recovery time. Yeah, just it's just going to physical therapy and learn how to walk again. She's lighter than ever. Yeah, it's like that star beam on you, Christine. Yeah, it's laser like a big laser.

I like it. I like it. I like it. Don't back out of that. I like that. She really was proud of it, but nobody nobody wanted it. I laughed. I like the Jacob. I've ever seen Star Wars. I like it. I like it. You know, you were trying to hurt her Jacob, but didn't work because you never seen Star Wars. But try again, heard her differently. The comedians didn't laugh.

Yeah, Don, I'm curious to see. She just let it go. When, because there is an age where women give up. Yeah. There is an age where women go, I'm done. I'm not dying my hair They all get their haircut like they pitch for the fillies and 78 Fucking tug McGraw Right You get your somebody's tug McGraw

Exactly and they stop shaving. They don't they don't shower a lot and they don't shave their face and stuff like that. Well, you're talking about like a deep 80s runner something. Well, no, 70s, late 60s, 70s, they start to let the hair go and they get that little, they get that little madman haircut. Well, the thing is, you don't want it to go, you don't want it to go the other way though, too. Because you're right, it's either, there's gotta be a gray area between giving up completely and then looking bat shit crazy with a bunch of screwy makeup and fake eyebrows

and stuff on. Cause that's how the other way it goes. Yeah, no, there is. It's like too much like blue eyeshadow and bright pink cheeks, like a crazy look. Yeah, like a million out of the last three. They're the last three. Just like a soft maybe like a foundation,

maybe a powder foundation, maybe a cream foundation. Yeah, proceed your thoughts I'm interested to see where cuz I don't know any of Don's hairy spots, but she's also an esthetician So she's she wasn't a statistician. Yeah, she does take care. I mean one of the saddest moments of our marriage is When Don's stopping an esthetician. we had the kid and she didn't want to pay to go, we were going somewhere, we were going to an event and she had a wax. And I just saw her sitting Indian style in the

bathroom on a rug waxing her vagina by herself. And I went never again, pay to get this done. I did that during quarantine. It was the worst thing ever. Never again pay to get this done. I do that during quarantine Oh Like a fly trap with spiders all over yeah look like a look seems fucking Look like a sticky mouse trap with the mouse ripped Where the mouse just got away just put half his body still there I kind of want to get laser hair removal because of that giving up.

Here's what happens. You go like, oh well. Don got it on her legs because she worked in the industry. But what happens when you go to tan later in life, you have little dots. So when we were in a room of this year, she had polka dots on her shins. I knew it did. I was like, it has to do something. He kills the melanin in your thing.

I mean, it might be better now. So she, you know, she does look like it has to do something kills the melanin in your thing I mean it might be better now So she you know she does look like she has fucking polio my friend got discolored up She did above her her mustache share of her lip and it discolored your fucking skin You gotta be careful you gotta be careful she got a laser hair removal on her upper lip and it Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm kid we could do I'll try it on you I have Harry pass oh I have Christine what is your regimen what do you mean look what do you do regularly I have to I have to I flow your back she flow these are front remember the flow be I back I vacuum shaved Christine. You have to put it through a power center every Wednesday.

No, Christine gives a real thing though. I have a friend with him. Oh, Christine, say the real thing. You have what? I have a friend who legit flowbees his hair. It doesn't look it. This flowbe still exists? Yeah, it's discontinued.

No, they use it for dogs. People use phlobe for dogs now. They took it away from humans and made it for dogs. You can do your dog's hair very. Phlobe hooks up to a vacuum cleaner. It's a, you can adjust the, it's like a trimmer. It's crazy. And it sucks the hair.

You said, but it's one length. So you go, my hair is gonna be four inches. You said the four inches, and then just vacuums your hair up and the top and a four inch that's cutting it. And then you look like all of a tree. Weird. It looks so weird.

I thought all of a tree would get a bigger less. I don't know what it is. You don't know him? It's like Pissy Pance J hair. Isn't that it? That's a Pissy Pance. It was a, he's a song guy, all of a tree. Bobby is Pissy Pance J, the cutest picture you've ever seen in your life. I saved it to my song. It's a song guy all over tree. Bobby is Pussy pants J the cutest picture ever seen.

I saved it to my son. It's maybe the cutest picture. I looked at it twice by myself in my bed. Yeah, Pussy pants J. Pussy pants J is great. But what about what about trans? He she she she she here Bob. There was Bobby.

This shows a young picture himself. He looked like a like a kid that's going to suck the Dalai Lama's tongue. He was odd. It was odd looking boy. Or was gonna make a... There's your awkward phase. I was gonna make some money back in the 70s in New York. Yeah, really did.

Well, also the way he presented it to me, he showed me a picture, Jacob Yule appreciate this. As he said, he shows the picture, which looks strange and he goes, yeah, my mom made me dress up like a girl for Halloween one year. Made me dress up like a girl for Halloween one year. Yeah. Made me dress up like a girl.

Yeah. Did your mom love you? No. Oh, no. Okay. I mean, she says she does, but I don't, I mean, you're, right? Right? It's crazy.

Iarish Catholic mom, they say they love us, but they really don't. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I love you. You say I love you 55 times in one sitting, but she doesn't really love me Sarah kill the relative Yeah, Sarah killed somebody she killed her all time. I think he was I think she killed the next boyfriend

You used to work at like the the arcade in the summer. Yeah, yeah once I just went wrong at the end What was he violent or verbally or he was he like or is it like the time after time video? It's in the law where you're trying to stop her from her dreams and shaving her hair. He took a long time to grow this back. I love it, she's in. She left, I knew, I knew it was under Cindy Loper like circumstances.

Cindy Loper's time after time circumstances. He did it with a flow bee. That song, that video used to make me tear-eyed way too late in my teens because I thought she was so cute Cindy Lauper really and I didn't like that her boyfriend was upset with her quirky thing Remember the video I do her sister on the diner and she takes her hat off and she shaved the checker board and then the guys like you dumb bitch My friends think you're an idiot and then

uh and then she runs away I was like I want to dealt with your checker hair. I was always on the guy side idiot what are you doing? I have a wedding to go to next week you stupid. You stewed on. You stewed on. What are you doing? Fucking checker board. Were you a fucking play chess? You weirdo. Oh yeah you got to skip ahead to the are you as is chess you weirdo? Oh Yeah, you gotta skip ahead to the Are you is this you say are doing this? No, this is Lou, but it's it's coming through choppy and guys can't both see it It's fine. That's all right. I trust Jake. You should turn that one. Give it give us the give us the Okay, there's a lot of Jay well they're hugging because of when she was young and Here she goes. She shows up at Captain Lil' Albano's restaurant.

She's wearing a hat that is not very, and then she lets out our goofy crazy hair. And this fucking straight edge ass hole all of it. Look, by the way, also weird, I didn't notice this video before, pause it for a moment. I didn't notice this before. Go back, actually, inside the diner. What town is this? Where all of the video before, pause it for a moment. I didn't notice this before. Go back, actually, inside the diner.

What town is this? We're all of the other people and the diner laughing at him for being with her in front of her. You see? They're like, you're stupid, idiot. That's the comedy seller. Yeah, and then she hides. Look, I get it.

She's dressed like a buffoon. Yeah, I'm telling you, she's really hide. She has big city dream. Yeah, that guy was not looking for her. Yeah, and then she hides look I get it. She's dressed like a buffoon. Yeah, but she she's really hide She has big city dream. Yeah, that guy was not looking for yeah, I'm not I mean she's literally just in a an Investable she's singing full volume. Yeah, she's screaming and then there's a ghost. There's a ghost showed up Blue fired up. That's actually Sarah's aunt that she killed back in back in the hands. I think I have an idea. There it is. Since it was on, she does look ridiculous.

So the whole point is, why can't you love me for looking like an asshole? No, it's not what it is. It's well, it's, it's, it's, why can't you love me for looking like an asshole? But it's also saying, I'm too big for this little stupid trailer trash town. Right, right. And she's like, look at this guy. That's the way to get the biggest to do to look like an asshole by carving the checkerboard in the earhead.

I don't know. Yeah, dude. I don't know if you ever saw any Steven Seagal, uh, uh, uh, Van Dam movies. My disc, he all of them, I said, well, you don't do that in these type of towns. Don't stand out. You don't fucking do that to your head. You gotta go now He's gonna fight everybody in town because she got a stupid hair. Yeah, she buys sexual or something. Yeah, whatever she is

Wearing all this stupid clothes. Get out of my house. You have a bald pussy Does that guy look like Jacob or am I crazy? Yeah, by the way comes out and then he goes let me help that's actually funny too. He's like, no, don't leave yet. Let me help you pack. Get all your shit out of here. Yeah. That's actually what just happened in the video. He, I thought he'd go and get the stopper.

He goes, no, no, no, let me help you pack. This is dumb. Goodbye, Italian mom in a rural town. Oh, it's a little mama little my little momita They push us down the stairs. That'd be great right there Tell me oh God now this is the best part goes though. They're in the train station She loves them, but she has to find bigger better things Bobby. Yeah Yeah, we lost Sarah to this song completely she got lost in it. Yeah, she did time after what's wrong?

So have you never felt love like that? No, she's looking at the dumb hat box the stupid Stupid's taken to New York wherever she's going by the way sir boy for an already 50 something years all the whole thing seems already Inappropriate. Who's this Ike about cream looking motherfucker? Like honey, you're you're already have a list by gonna deal with your dumb hair cut now. Get out of this town. He seems like a police informant from the 70s.

That's the last Kishla over here from that rainbow face idiot. Yeah. Goodbye. There's your lunch box. She has a lunch box. Watch how happy he gets when she, the train pulls out and she can't see him anymore.

Ha ha ha ha. Oh my, this is where you cried. What a jerk off. Yeah, what? Yeah, I'll get sad here. I use a jerk off. I was like a birdie. I'm wondering if my severe attraction to a young Cindy Lauper

had to do with the fact that she has a small mouth that probably makes weeners feel big Is that crazy to say I'm glad that wizard's going off to Hardwater you have fuck her off the Hogwarts your fucking weirdo Stakes get out of my town stop embarrassing me you stupid hat box your lunch box and you checkered hair You know we pulled her out of, we pulled her out of the, we pulled her out of the hallway one day. It's serious and the interview for three minutes. And she was Gowonsky.

Oh, really? Yeah. Why? Why would you do? I didn't see she, she was not, she came and sat down. And she started and she goes, I love doing radio. I used to have a radio show when I was younger in college She was and I would play all this like trippy music that I liked all this like like offbeat rock and

And I didn't realize that all my friends were doing it so they could trip into drugs and Do she was not even know they'd say you make the best trip playlists, but I I didn't even know I was doing that I go I love that she slowly turned into a old Jewish woman. She's not Jewish woman. I love the playlists. I didn't know. What does she get that queens like? Okay. I didn't know I was doing it. So I go that's oh that's funny. Oh it was kind of reiterate what she said. Yeah. Oh that's funny. You're just putting out music you think is cool and then uh you know you got people at home sitting there with like a needle hanging out of their arm like half a sleep and she goes, no, never that. No, no, no. And then they were like, Cindy, you got to go and she just left almost on that note.

Oh, the publicist. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't really know what happened. That's because someone had a needle in there. I just repeated what she said back. She said that's what people were doing You should have brought up that dumb hair. Yeah, you know what actually you don't leave get the fuck out of you Yeah, dude bangers though. Come on the goonies are good enough I never liked her oh that's crazy I never I her. Oh, that's crazy. I was never into her. I was never into her.

I totally get his crush on her. Time after time was a silly song. So good. And what was the other one? What was the other hit she had? Oh, girls just want to have fun. Yeah, I mean, I don't love that. Girls just want to have fun.

Shebop is a great song. It's about, also when you're a young boy and you hear shebops about masturbation. This song, this song I go. I like this. True colors. True and you hear she pops about masturbation this song I got I like True colors. I don't like this song really this is why check out so different. I guess I love the stupid to you This is a great song I Mean you can hear you can hear a little baby lift

Don't be Beaters I put you check in my hair Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, She bops the best she bob. What is that one? She but no that one stupid to she Bop he bop, oh, it's about masturbating. How does it how it was it about masturbating But no real quick and I'll walk you through this in two seconds actually will come back from break with she bop and Let's do our reads here Bobby. They put it in the extra big for you. Okay. I know I know who likes to make fun of you Oh, Dan Dan had a wig. Okay space wig. We all have our problems. Yeah, Dan and. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know Y'all. Y'all. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you. Go on a little round. I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink. This is Big J. Okrasin, my new special dog, Velly Life from Skankfest, out now on YouTube. Scott Fulton, Big J. Okasin!

I'm full, PJ, all could say