The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Make New Friends, but Keep the Old (feat. Andy Fiori & Elle Orlando)

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Our old friend Andy Fiori brings a new friend Elle Orlando by as the gang examines Hulk Hogan's Hangout menu!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Everybody make sure you check out Dan Soder on the road. He's going to be in Grand Rapids, Michigan, June 3rd and 4th. Then he's coming to the UK, everybody. London at the Soho theater. That's June 13th through June 19th for tickets and all of Dan's tour dates. Visit dansoder.com. Key West, Florida. This weekend, Big J. Ocarcin's going to be there with Lewis J Gomez at Comedy Key West Friday, May 27th and Saturday, May 28th. Then out on Bert Christchurch's fully loaded and now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. It's Bonfire on serious XM Faction Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Ocarson.

We got most of the crew in here. And I asked him a question before Andy Fuehl. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question.

I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big Joke, or sin we got most of the crew in here. And I asked him a question before Andy Fiori comes in. Sure. Has anyone here ever eaten a fish with its head still on, like its eyes are staring on you? I will.

No, I won't. I've been part of that happening, and I've checked out completely. It's why I won't, and it's funny. I think we had this conversation with Fiori before about Wohop I will never go to Wohop again is when I went there are people we ordered something They brought out like a fish with a face though, and I'm like this is hard. It's not my world

I don't like that you just take the meat and then you bring it to your plate and then you don't look at the guy Dude I do it Jews do it. I do it. Yeah, yeah I'm like my girlfriend loves it one guy in the kitchen that I work at the restaurant I worked at, the restaurant I worked at, he ate the eyeballs in front of me. Those people are so fucking crazy. Now, it's the way all the power comes from. Why did he do that? That's exactly what he was.

No, he regularly ate that. He said this is where the power comes from? Yeah. This is a good one. You know who, what a psycho. You know what? I mean, he ate the rest of the fish, but he definitely ate the eyeball.

Do you ever suck the marrow out of the bone on a steak? Nope fucking Joe used to that my mom's boyfriend Yeah, you're like all right dude. Yeah, is it good? I tried it once I didn't like oh maro's like a big thing Yeah, that's a dish. It's a delicacy. Yeah It's too rich I don't really go it was too rich I know it's good tendon just things that don't sound good. Yeah, you're like You have a brain fluid no I want that the worst thing I ever had on a menu to place. I worked out with sweet breads

Glans It's so good no, I didn't right. What is this? Glant sweet breads? It's what it's called sweet breads a weird name, but they're glands. They're like Glands of what a cow it's throat people Uncooked they look fucking disgusting thymus as a throat gole it neck or pancreas all it neck or pancreas. Ugh. Ugh. Glans.

Man. By the way, it looks like a McDonald's nugget all the way on the left there. So does, you know what else looks like that? Yeah, look at, you know what else? It's the buttermilk fried sweetbread. I mean, you brought, if you bring it out in a bowl and just say it's whatever else the consistency

is fried clams, I go nice. That's how church got me through all the amount of oysters. That bitch. I'll never forgive her for the, you don't make them any testicles and then tell them later. She goes take a bite and I go,. That's how Trish got me through Rocky Mountain oysters. Yeah bitch I'll never forgive her for the you don't make them any testicles and then tell them later She was take a bite and I go what is that? I was like What is that Trish? Just do you like it? And I go what is this? I was a kid and she's like it's Rocky Mountain oysters

She's your oysters. What were you filming an episode of Jack? This is Danny's nuts. Hey, what's up? I'm trash and this is fooling my son. It's a dish is called Rocky Mountain Oysters. Yeah. Google it. What kind of balls is it? Buffalo.

Buffalo balls. It's called bullet right now. Rocky Mountain Oysters. Is it a buffalo or is that a bull? It's one of them. It's something I didn't want to eat. I don't eat any animal balls. Sock and nuts, dude. It's something I didn't want to eat I don't need any animal balls sucking nuts, dude Or tongue. I don't want to eat tongue

But see what I mean when they're cookball wet all the way to the left is what I had that's out looked They were chopped up. They were like fucking fried in like I was there was chopped up Yeah, no, something something come like a big big ball That's what I said now like the whole things that test look like, this look like little chicken, like calamari's or like little chicken nuggets. And I was like, all cool and I ate one. And she's like, and her shoes are trying to make the point

of like, if you didn't know it was testicles, you had a thought it was good. Yeah, but you saw what? I should be able to have a choice. I'm sure soil and green. I'm sure soil and green tasted lovely until they learned it was people. It was people was people at it

That's crazy and it's good to use as you say all parts of the animal though. Fuck you That's crazy. Don't make me nuts. I like them. I mean they were like her and her like the group we were with were eating them And I was like a kid and they were just eating chicken. No because they were laughing at you Look at this stupid day. I need to nuts over there. Hey, Trish look at your little queen Oh, hey, like those bull balls Wait talking about it. I could ever my mom's friends name is I go Linda This is got good dippy sauce. I was gonna say that the dipping sauce is a lot of the is a lot Have you ever I got McDonald's delivered once on the road being a little dirty bitch god you are

That's that's the food version of calling the hooker But I got it is And I've done it. You're like nervously waiting in the lobby and you're like, oh hi, hey, and you know Well, all very nice today also because you will find out especially from like that like the fast food places They are not going to give you the things you ask for that make that meal They are not going to give you the things you ask for that make that meal It's possible to eat I will tell you right now if you order McDonald's on the road We will not get that be sauces and you will not get straws There's no point ordering chicken nuggets because you are almost exactly right and and I got an order of chicken nuggets once

With no they didn't say any dipping sauce not a one dry nugs Kedgerman and I took a bite I ate one I ate one and I ate one, and I was like, that's horrible. It's not a delicious thing without the sauces. And for that, gas digital said they're doing a thing tomorrow, Dylan and Tom from gas digital, we're gonna have a 20 piece, who can eat a 20 piece, Mcnuggets faster.

And I go, if you're gonna make that a challenge, dude. No, you gotta make them no sauces. So I mean sauce. I mean sauce. I mean sauce. That hot mustard sauce. You covered a bowl ball and hot mustard and McDonald's hot mustard sauce. I might, oh, at least lick it off the ball. I'll lick those balls. I don't think I could get five nuggets without sauce. You won't enjoy one. I'm telling you one,

you're like, it's gonna be so, it's like the bread challenge if you ever see that Oh, no, what's the brim of the bread? Can somebody two pieces of bread in a minute? I think it is and you it sounds so easy. Oh, that's like the cracker thing so hard is it that you can't produce the spit? I Don't know it's just because I love bread. This might be the only challenge. I'd be willing to do Because I love to eat pieces of bread. I'm two pieces of bread. Two pieces of white bread. Buddy. But in a minute, that's like.

You make that happen for a show, though. The milk thing always, I was like, you're just gonna throw up, you're just putting too much milk in. A gallon of milk? Yeah, you can't drink that much. I'm saying idea. There's displacement.

If you did it with water or anything or juice, it's gonna come back up. Milk just looks the funniest. Yeah, milk is like, oh my god, it's all white. It's just coming back up. Rocky mountain oysters What a heart would you try him Jacob never you never try would you be mortified if you found out you did try him?

Yeah, no you know that's all I feel you have a Latina girlfriend Lou There's some might be some odd foods coming to cuz I was yeah, you might get my S suckers is his is his bad and we went to Some places to eat where there was some dicey foods. What was the weirdest things you try to get you to eat Tom Nope when they just bring a big old tongue out cook. No, it wasn't even like her It was just when you go to like the places like she didn't really eat anything that crazy. Well, she likes these Pork things

They're like, I don't know what the fuck it is, but there, here's the thing that's a part of it that's all meat and really good, and she would cut it for me, like, that would drive Christine nuts well after we were separated and after him with Christine, Carla cutting up food for me, so fucking funny. I was like, why is she cutting up food for you? That is so fucking funny. so the image of the car The car Christina's a go and Carla talking to you

Just found out I don't like my orzo burnt but she's cook she's like talking to Christine She goes oh my god sort of tell me about that and she cooks a bite. She goes here you go Jay Tell me about that and she cooks a bite and she goes, here you go Jay. Moooo. Sorry. I was having Carla as just like a figure in my life. I always said more than dealing with like an ex-wife was kind of like dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law.

Yeah, more than anything. She's like, Jay likes it like this. I'll cut his meat. You got it. Here's a mere plane going by. Say what though. And then Jay goes, she does know the part. Whenever you like.

She does know the part of that food though that I like whenever he was sick Do you want me to bring you soup? She wait the plate was If she showed up no like she would have me don't Our plate or Jay to try and she would cut up me to get it because Jay doesn't like fat So she would cut all the fat and all the icky stuff off me So the corners off the sand and then she would present me with the pieces that my little boy pieces I can have.

Like while I'm sitting there. Oh, my God. How far into the relationship? I mean, you two years ago. She did, that's what she did with those things I'm talking about. She cut up, we went to like, well, I mean, Dominican place. We went to Dominican place. So funny.

Yeah. You ordered a steak, but you give it to me first. I got to do something. Say what though the pieces she gives me are so good. Like I would tell you that I do not like rare steak at all. Rare sounds crazy to me, but when she wears prime rib with Isabella, she cuts me off some little middle pieces, and those are so tasty. Oh my god. They're so rare and tasty. Do you I you, I mean, did you ever talk to Jay about it? We're like, hey, that doesn't make me feel... No, it was like one day in a fight, I was like, and Carl's cutting meat for you.

That is so, that is such a funny burn. Of just Jay waiting for his meat and Carla being like, well, I remember when, oh my god. But though, soup thing is even funnier for being like, Jay Sik, also in soup, I got younier for being like jacic also in soup. I got you I can bring over so bring soup dude. We when we got COVID in 2021 the first time I got it I Like something happened in

Coppillm and Levine the creators of billions just superaked me. They just sent me soup that I didn't even ask for He's like hey, there's a delivery outside and I went and there's this soup, and I was like, it was like, do I, I was like, do I have to eat this now? Soup's a real choice. Yeah. Hi everyone. Hey, studio guests, everyone. What's up?

What's up? Have a seat, everybody. It's funny just to send someone's soup against their will, and just like, they're soup outside for you. Andy, is this your child bride? This is my daughter, Elle. Do you guys know Elle Orlando?

Super funny comment. Hey, how are you? Hi, Elle, nice to meet you. Did he capture you? Are you in trouble? Yes. No, Elle is a guest on the raw report. And as she Elle comes on the road with me a lot sometimes.

Oh. Jay, if he ever makes you read any of his writings, just let us know. No, we've actually had the time to go to do a lot of young guys together. Should we try it together? Oh. Oh, I was saying like more in like a cold way,

but yeah, I didn't get that as a comic. Is that how guys are they like, you want to write? I did not catch on for a minute until like one time a guy asked me to write and then we went out like actually on a date. I didn't even know it was a date but I was like when are we writing? There's like wine here. I can look at you forever. Is that a good bit? It's crazy how you never say you can look at someone forever. We should do a writing session. God, do you want to take this stuffie close off? I feel like a lot of our it is funny you say cult though because I call it L

I call her Elron Hubbard a lot. It's right over her head. Hey, wait a smurzer. Wait a under sexualizer Yeah, I could move dude. And also, she doesn't even know it is don't you ever The smurge Elron Hubbard I've created the religion that I've been following for five years. I'm clear. That sounds like someone I think I'm talking to somebody with a low feet and level Science, sorry that we were in the sea or Jay and I took a little time in the sea organ got our shit together. Okay, you see fury 2000 years ago Exploded let out some aliens some so aliens jumping your body dot dot dot Tom Cruise. Get jumping on a cow.

They get a big bomb. Dianetics. Leo Romney. That Benedict Arnold bitch. Tom, I'm going to zoom. Anyways, Jay and I go do an e-meter reading. Next thing I know, we find out we're thousand year old aliens living inside these human bodies. And a hundred thousand grand later on my pocketbook.

Big Bang Boom. I saw my mom's townhouse I'm a fucking high priest John Travolta shows up to two of five major events a year. Yeah, you have to outside you have to out dance Travolta Good to do that weird new thing that he said Oh, you don't you go back to sad and I fever day. That's you thing is always possible Well, the Scientology parties must be weird and fun at the same time If you can let go you got back walking around

Yeah, he's got all these famous people and I go let God Lear have any Mike crash it all mad. Oh, yeah be great We're sitting there while people are like plotting like fuck with Lee are evident here something and you go Oh, I love King the Queens you go I actually loved to run save by the bell, the beach. Hey, can you not be here right now? I'm like, are you guys? I go back where you're in to, who is the boss? Samantha's friend? Samantha in Arizona, right? Isn't that her friend in Arizona when

Samantha moves to Arizona? It's older or a little from their federal, but she's definitely in the house. Okay. I don't know. I was taking a guess. What was the, who was the guy that you realized was trying to hit on you during the writing session? Like it was that date? Oh, yeah. I'm not gonna say his name. Offer you'll tell us the name.

Maybe. Okay, that's a yes. I don't think for no who it is. Yeah, that's true. You say the names, I have probably no one who it is. I've got a little thing called Google. Okay. Okay, look at what we've got.

Then we can find have his comedy. Yeah, I don't think you want to go with it. I don't know. I don't want to play. I don't want to play. You're going to plan bass this time. I don't want to put it down. I don't want to put a kid on suicide watch. I think I do.

They broke down my five minutes set. What the fuck? Those from the village undercrap. I was a guest that I did. She's okay. It was Colin Quinn. Oh, you heard it here first. He goes, ah, you know, I don't know.

Maybe go get some nice shrimp. Oh, yeah. You know, the way you look at me over this candle, like me, I'm, fuck, wow. Is it good going on the road with Andy? He doesn't masturbate in front of you, but he does call you from his room and says, hey, I'm going to masturbate.

Is that cool with you? No, she just gets a huffy breath phone call. He does. Oh my God. Be that certain, be that certain ten. Oh. She goes, are you cool if I tell him to pick us up it? Oh, 1510. Oh, we got an 80 clock and a 10th.

I'm sorry, I apologize. Who told you guys? All right, we know this guy. Can you not order a movie? Because I don't think the club's gonna cover it. Hey, Jolie, they're calling me. They said you need to bring a card down for instance. Can you not order a movie because I don't see the clips gonna cover it? Hey, Julie with the call me they said you need to bring a card down for instance You okay doing less time. Just give me a kiss

All right, which am I my tweeted out? Oh my god, it really is just a dangerous world for women on the road unrealistic. That's just suck. Oh, it's much suck You guys yeah, you gotta go into your room and then lay in the bathtub like Will Smith and I am legend My shotgun I just went to the hotel room. This guy is using locks, three doors, and she's like, this is my life. This is my God. The talk was the funniest thing, and the world went me and Dave.

We all had to share. It was two beds in a living room, and I was headlining, but it was like, if you're bringing people, there's staying with you. Oh man, yeah. So by the way, I just got out of that 29th year. Shane stayed, we stayed in the same room most of the time. Shane really?

That's like, I got that naked map story. You didn't have to do that. You did it beyond having to, I just couldn't see it. You're just kind of, no, it's not cheap. You guys say it. Oh, I said that in DC when I was working draft house. I was like, I got an opener and they're like, we're not coming around for that.

And really? That's not similar to draft house. You just said, say. I was draft house draft house. I was like, I got an opener and they're like, we're not coming around for that. And really? That's not similar to draft house. You just said, you know, draft house draft house. Yeah, no improv gave me out, but I'm saying like, okay, yeah. No, draft house is like, now y'all are standing together. And that's what that's been saying got another cover of these like, I'm Nike. How do I feel uncomfortable when I'm the headliner?

But with you and Dave, yeah, me and Dave, me, Dave and and Kalice Hawkins. Uh, I brought it in Rhode Island. Probably. Yeah, I brought it this gig and we did it and like, it was such a funny by the third day of her nonstop just ripping farts over and over and over. Good job, guys. Like the last time she was like, Hey, guys, oh my god. Broom. And I was like, Kalice, have we made you uncomfortable? Like no one's been trying to fuck you.

Are you doing this so we don't try to fuck, we're not. Stop wow. I probably would have done it like what you're like actually like was I Maybe that's our call she was living her stink out so we know I Any takers that do anything for you guys in Dorfins running at all One it's usually works. Do you have to be quiet in the green room so Andy can close his eyes and listen to jam music and air guitar. No, we have good. I don't dominate the music scene in the car. Right. Yes, you do. Thank you. That's just a big honest. Does he make you listen to 13-minute songs with vacuum cleaners? I was going to say you play a three minute, three minute, a new song and then he goes on to seven minute. You know what? You You guys, do you wanna listen to a couple Jack Harlow songs? And he goes, you gotta check this one out.

This one's called, Flippin' and Dip in Over and Millwalky. I did never say, 1971 San Francisco. You guys, check this little jam out. The spaghetti incident didn't know they were getting into a jam. 17, 17 minutes later, and you they were in one Maybe the dead channel, but she's looking at the window and he goes right here

No, what's that? What's that? It's a snap Drum on the wheel I'm a wheel drummer. I'm a wheel drummer. Have there been have you gone out on the road with like a lot with guys like yeah. Yeah. Has there been a guy that's called you to open that you're like fuck that I won't go back on the road. No. Nice. Not yet. Even after all that you'll still go back to the Colin Quinn. How dare you call him? You monster. There is a comic that I heard stories about. We're not friends. We're not even kind of close to being friends with them.

But this is a name. I'll tell you off there. I'll try to get a name for a name. There you go. But he would have female openers. Just in silver. Yeah. And then he would book a hotel room and be like oh got to want to tell that's funky yeah that's funky and he's like super super like uh tries to get other people canceled and shit really yeah he's like a

so you know what he's a guy who's like um the patriarch he is crushing people and then you're like I guess is oh let me tell you the whole reason I would not want to do that for the I get this idea is sole purpose there is like chance to maybe we'll fuck I'm like what are you gonna do when you have to like shit yeah and after a shot. There's all these things I would never want to grow up. First I was trying to sleep with especially new that I'm trying to sleep with I would never want to like how to be like hey why did this be in the bathroom for a

half hour is finishing up some business in here. He washes his hands for 35 minutes. I'm like, hey, why did you disappear in the bathroom for a half hour? Just finishing up some business in here. How long? He washes his hands for 35 minutes. You can't know about my sleep app you have to like six months in. Oh my God. You're gonna hear me sleep scream? I don't think so.

What if I snore punch you? Yeah, yeah. What if I wake up and I'm like, Mommy, no, everything's scary. What? What? I just get to get a good sleep. You got to get a good sleep.

Big little J-Like is meat chopped up. Yeah, you know What's up are you late are you late am I late for press? I did that to Katie on the road in Portland. I was dead asleep I mean you know when you talk in your sleep and it wakes you up. Yeah, yeah, I was dead asleep and I went I don't know mom. You know what I woke up and I looked at what who said that What that's weird way back lay back down and went so scared I went mom what who says that yeah, I like made fun of myself before she could That's the way I get in front of it. I say what that's what I do every time I do I go so you said huh?

Yeah, I went mom. What? Who says that? And then we lay down. Are you okay? And I went, I'm so scared. Who's a navel? I'm like, shows it healing. I was like, we know you guys are not a couple, but we were just describing in the between me and Christine and Dan and Katie.

You guys on the road, though, you still have to make the decision. You're going to get food. Who makes the call? Andy. Yeah. Yeah. Do you never bring good places? I know sometimes a lot of the places. She was into this city. She just gave her, you can't see it at home, but she just had a reflective look down and she went,

Yeah. Yeah, it's warm, the food's warm. I can't complain much. She was sure we'd never go into a place that doesn't have beer cheese on the menu, but okay. Yeah, usually eating under a patch of blue ribbon sign. Don't you do comedy for so long to build up, to have like to be able to make these decisions?

100% 100%. We're always talking about gender dynamics? Do you buy food? What do you mean? Like with you and Katie. It depends because sometimes she'll order it up. If she's better at technology by fucking country. Oh, she hasn't put your credit card into the food delivery places. No, I only date strong independent women.

So she's not me as her own. I date co-dependent psycho. LAUGHTER Christine, if I'm going to pay for 100% of your meals, my ex-wife is going to cut up my meat for me sometimes. That's going to happen. Yeah, she pays it, dude. That it is if you're gonna depend on me I'm gonna depend on you to get the sweet pieces of meat. They weren't in here when that we were saying that

That my ex-wife sometimes cut my meat up for me. Yeah, all right While they were while they were while they're dating and while they're at dinner dadgy dad like the dead She knows the pieces I like She knows the pieces I like I'm not gonna not have her do it. Honestly, if you're gonna add extra stuff to this, at this point she could put a bib on you. Mm-hmm. You know if she's see, she knows that if I see

the fat and gristle on the thing, I'm not gonna eat it. So she gives me a little lean piece. And she goes, and a little baby boy bite. And then you do your dippy sauce. And then you might dip the sauce. And she goes, here's your dippy sauce you go I love it thank you mommy number two I'm not gonna go how many bites you Christine by the way we got a book those flights we gotta do something I guess hang on baby want more meat yeah

you know you hold up your hand to go J want this man I don't see any pieces you want God Christine where's this? Okay, okay Why aren't you wear something sexy? Oh another bite for baby Just Jay we don't you like that I go what so salty on she goes that's all juice all juice Where did you grow up in suburbs of Chicago nice real John Hughes lifestyle like a hot dog with a pepper on it You grew up watching all the movies of the 80s very late and being like that was my childhood Exactly I was always jealous of kids that were from Chicago because I was like man You could just pretend you're in a John Hughes movie the home loan house Chicago. Yeah, all Chicago He did all Chicago. Yeah, all outside Chicago. Oh,

Chicago people it was suburb it you know, but that was like a fairies boy. That's right. That was a big one Quintessential suburb films John Hughes. What the fuck is the scene in Ferris, Björn? Why do they have the scene where Cameron just stares at That picture and he keeps going closer? Joe Lisk had answered that. It's not funny. I don't know about phone. It's unsettling.

We're learning about the process of Cameron. Yeah, Cameron said. He was an only child. He got to have a hard time with his dad, him a hard time. Oh, dad, he was a rich kid. Suck a dick. I'm talking about a rich kid said story. Yeah, you're right.

Only only only only children that can be sad are the ones that didn't have a lot I'll say what are you but when I was young when I realized that my whole time being young when I would shit on like the rich kids It was because I just wished I had money like that to and I'm say has a 44 year old now I'm like, oh means I wish oh damn that would have been easier. Are you kidding? I go to a friend's house with like the GI Joe fucking Jats or whatever and I'd be like you're life so easy And then you don't know I have to suck his uncle's dick once a month I never had the bases and the forts for my guys

yeah I had to play on a couch that was our honestly like I didn't have like a lot of toys or like the latest technology and it is fun to like buy Isabella North Face jacket and like kind of spoil her a little bit, and like spend money on her, like, it just, you know. But I put cigarette sound, or so it weighs about. She's not even, she gets it. Even Steven, that's what I do.

I buy something nice, and then I go into a dark room and go, you don't fucking deserve that. Yeah, I go, you fucking, you shit doesn't need this. You shit, and then I go outside, and I go, oh my ass, I go go oh the package is here Okay, he's like what's going on? I was like I was taking a dump. We know you know we have a PlayStation 5 You're like what's the who am I who am I who am I and then I have like so So I just serve this god I work so fucking hard for

And I fucking deserve it man Christine definitely lives in a house house so where I mentioned in how hard I work a lot. It's, you know, it's your hard. Yeah, if I'm saying I'm an idiot. What's funny is right now Katie's work a way harder than me so she gets that or she's like I'm just bustin' my ass. I'm like,

oh well it's just a nice day today. She goes, well I water the plants. Yeah. Well I took care of the dishes and I'm gonna order myself something on Amazon. I'm raising a puppy. Yeah. That's hard work.

When did you, how long have you been living in New York? Going on four years. And how did you meet this fucking sweet old bear? Hey. The big cat. My co-producer, new Andy, and then she had him on the show. Nice. What's your show?

You should call it. It's called the Shish Show. The Shish Show. Yeah, it's SHH and then Asterix. And what's your show? I called the show the show. Yeah, it's shsh and then a Strix and it's podcast. I know it's a show. Oh, it's right here. Yeah, it's a comedy show. I fucking blew it. He thought it was for it. Yeah, we're at the comedy shop. Comedy shop once a month every second Thursday at 10 p.m. Yeah, we're the comedy shop. It's a village, what is it? It's the old lantern.

Yeah, old lantern. Oh shit, yeah. I meant to make a village lantern reference and I said village underground, but I was going for the lantern. You had a comedy, the village lantern, I saw crazy shit there starting out. When you do bucket bikes,

I saw me and Joe List got hammered and watched a guy fight the host fought one of the comics and then they open my continued after the fight. No, it was crazy. It was ma'am. I started to black. So I think that was regular. Yeah.

That was regular shit. But dude, coming up to the village lantern and you just go down to that basement and fucking bomb. Yeah. I took a lot of. So if I have a different starting points, like my shows were going to like, Dino Rawlings had a room called Pokedockers on Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn, and Jamaicans came in and shot Uzi's into the roof.

Jesus. That's way cooler. I didn't know you were in fucking better than a tin. I'm like a Mark for death, dude. Yeah, that's the best. That's the best. I'm screw face, that's ya.

Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Meanwhile, I'm just dealing with actors that don't know if they want to be actors or comedians fighting each yeah Do you have a boyfriend or anything not in comedy? No single ready to mingle there going Andy I asked for you Five road gigs guy can't get the nuts the burger must go to question

No, that's not his game. It's not his steves. I'm a steed and he's a big sweetheart You are big sweetheart. You are a big sweetheart. He used to work on the show and then he left us. Just if I in case you guys start dating. Yeah, because you worry if you just take... Do you worry if you, do you worry if you road hook up that like, Ells looking at you like... Oh, with somebody that I met on the road? No, Ells cool.

She wouldn't care. Would you win, Ells? I actually think that happened. Yeah. Would you wing me? Would you, that summer try to help him get a lady on the road, wing me? Yeah, if you need a fun hell. I don't think, I don't think,

you should say things like, you say things like, good luck getting all that dick and stuff. Yeah, I could. Yeah. I did go over the girl. Remember last summer. Yeah, I had to stop bragging.

Well, I had to get it in. She was super sexy and she wanted it so bad. She couldn't get enough of me. And remember I showed up and it looked like a bear attack in the photo. No, well, tell you what happened was that we were just, I was like, we can't go inside. We had to just fucking make out in her car

because we were sharing, like, I had rented a beach house last summer. So I had Elle and Greg Stone and like, down at the beach, it's where she's short. Yeah. And we were doing the steereder down there. Greg brought his wife, she's pregnant. So I was like, we can't go upstairs into the house.

This is wrong, but this is so right. Because it was like, only two bedrooms. This is a beach house. It goes my work sister and Greg Stone are up there. Wow. It's actually, we have this in your Pesat. Oh, man. I can't do this.

Guys, where did God? I can taste the sand on you. It was a fucking Subaru Outback. Oh nice dude. My back was on like, like, squeeze. Yeah. There's a ton of shit in it. Yeah, give me that's better than the, dude, I made the mistake. I did one ever, one ever beach under the boardwalks. With the garlics, my virginity, too. Oh yeah, you've talked about that. I mean, I just need a pile of sand just right newer challenge. It was so unpleasant for everybody. I had about that. I mean, I just need a pile of sand just right in the word challenge. It was so unpleasant for everybody.

I had no idea how to con them on. I was just sanding it with a chicken cup. Oh my god. Oh, it is brutal. So you see it's pepper in there. It's poor girl. Oh my god. Sand is the worst, because it gets in your vagina for like,

I think, honestly, six months. Who are you telling, sister? Yeah. Yeah. You don't even want to talk about your body. Yeah. Yeah, I fucking go down to Christine. to talk about your body. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking go down to Christine.

It's like eating muscles. Yeah. You go, there's a brine to it. It goes, there's a weird brine. If you put your ear up to it, you can't do the same thing. Because these pussy's a barnacle. So you've hooked up on the beach and then regretted it months later. Immediately.

Immediately. Because you've lived a farm too. Everywhere and then every like every day that goes by you're like, they're still sand. Yeah, sex requires moisture and moisture attracts sand. And no matter how much towel you lay down, it's going to get over. Forget an awkward fat kid, neighing a whole pile of it right near Holy is to Holy. Just Justin, yeah.

You're gonna see you go, knee finisher. Just a gunk, dude. It was like when you throw glitter on glue. Yeah. Dude, you are stuffin' like a turkey with fuckin' s-sizzes of wh-sizzes of wh-sizzes. Salasol. Just get in there.

Bam. And you lived in Florida for a while? I was born in Florida and my family's from there. So yes, we go down there and deal with it. You got that Florida side of you. Yeah, I got my Florida family. It's exhausting, honestly. Florida people?

Yeah. Are they Jewish? No, they're not Jewish. In Florida, get out. That means crazy. They're Italian. Can Jews have everything? Can anything, we have anything at all? You have a Jewish state. Yeah, get out. That means crazy. They're Italian. Can you just have everything? Can anything, we have anything at all?

You're in the race date. Yeah, just Italian for Florianians. Yeah, they got the, you know, raised trucks and everything. Hell yeah, I was just in Tampa, that is true. They loved their big trucks in Florida. Tampa? Oh, Tampa likes a morbidly obese Hispanic lady wearing a bikini out to a club.

Tell you what else they love is calling your brother when they're white So brother. Oh, yeah, of course everybody speaks hogan ease down Yeah, hogan ease is for it. Let me tell you something brother That's you can open up a corridor give it in Tampa I've been there some local beers like 24 inch Python. Oh my guys like let me get a 24 inch by the Never want to say your prayers each vitamin Well someone was like do you want to go to Hogan's Beach on Thursday night? The like Nick Hogan DJ is there and I'm like dude that'll destroy a part of my childhood that I don't want to see

Destroyed and I had to wake up early in do call to did you see him give the speech? All the menu items. We really but someone let you get back to your cocoa beware Don't forget to try to junk your dog nuggets We're doing all that but it is for it was also he was also just in there like giving that speech like fucking Puccino and he given Sunday we already all right for me just go he can go in the middle of this bar and Everyone will stop if he's good. Hey, everyone hug him needs to talk. Hey guys Sorry, I know you're enjoying your Andre the giant pretzel. Yeah The Andre giant burger

You as you slam that you get a picture of That Andre the giant burger You see of hogan's place as a food challenge. Yeah, please look up hogan's beach He goes you can try the big big John stud pie It's a pizza that weighs two pounds Across the old names, dude. I met Greg the hammer Valentine flying back from a couple cities ago Mm-hmm, and I was so excited to meet him and he was just so over people meeting it Greg the hammer. Yeah, I did that show that In St. Clown Posse TV show with him. Oh really?

Yeah, he was like the it was like that we watched movie is called in St. Clampossi theater. We watched music videos and make fun of them Yeah, and you did it with great the hammer Valentine Which by the way making fun of people and coming so fun Christine told me this today last week on the show when you weren't here Damn, I made foot we made fun of for a half hour of the way Kevin Smith dresses Yeah, and then Christine said that all the social media was a Blaze of people getting I go how could J so people how to dress the way he dresses is just going as so wound up And I still say Kevin Smith dresses like an idiot I'm totally I'm going as far as I say I argue I like the way he dresses. I would love to wear hockers

He lost too much weight and now he doesn't have the body for that type of hockey jersey backwards hat look. He also, you're right. It looks wrong. Don't wear a hockey jersey all the time. I love it. I hate it. I also was hockey jersey.

You're all customized now. Backwards hat look. It's so comfortable. They're customized now. Good job, dude. Good job, Kevin Smith. I say where? Yeah, also where you bring a throwback, not your own.

Christine Hogan's beach menu, please. But they also, in fairness to that, I'm wearing a shirt with me as a vampire on it right now. But I'm not going anywhere today. I'm doing the work and going home. I've had to off my tell Ella Keeper close on because of that several times. I'm like, you can't, listen,

there's already a lady that chops up his meat. I can't give you that position Hogan's hang out let's see buffalo chicken dip get a leg dropped a flavor on you brother. I bet that ain't bad Dude that's what they do when they bring out the oysters rock a fellow they play this song Katei said and Christine might fucking drop on her knees in front of Hogan when she gets there The fact that the monster holosticks come with ranch and marinara. I love it, too I know that's gotta be move over cuz I'm about to blow him too Oysters those aren't nuts are they those are regular oysters. Those are nuts brother. I wouldn't lie to you They're not buffalo if there's something that the holster doesn't do is lie about his menu You know poke tuna nodger. I didn't expect this at a wrestling bar.

Dude, fried pickle. Mussels loaded nod shows. Tropical tuna tower. Now we're talking. Damn dude, I didn't know Hogan was gonna go full with a threesome in Key West. Tropical tuna tower. You ever get a tropical tuna tower?

I think Prusgetta's spelled wrong. That's an S. First of all, Prusgetta. Prusgetta. Prusgetta. No. Prusgetta. No, Prusgetta. I know Prusgetta and Iuschetta. No, bruschetta. No, bruschetta.

I know bruschetta, and I'm dumb. But that's pretty good. Is that a nest in there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no idea. I'm not. Come on, you grease ball. Answer the question. Turn it. Turn it on Italian. You go, go, go. Godfather, too.

What was the line? I was just at that. What's the, what's my? My face. Come on, Olive oil. Talk. Why do I give the dollar at the St. E.T.?

I need to know. Is that, so that's how you spell it. So it is properly spelled? No, it's spelled wrong. That's awesome. Bricketta. Do you know when your menu has CTE? They also spelled oysters Rockefeller like Rockefeller. Like Rockefeller records? We also found this out last week. If you type in P1E shrimp joke, there's a lot of comics who have had a joke about P1E shrimp and they

don't like it. Does anyone call it a key in peel strip? Fun we're having fun here Keep going down. This is all light bites. These are nibbles. Yeah, this is the fucking big salad's brother We got strawberry I take hogan for a beetles fan. Oh not so Caesar salad Are you gonna get stabbed in the back brother? Why is it not so classic? I can't read it. I don't get it. I'll tell you what tomatoes. Because it has like 18 and prosciutto.

Uh, whatever. It's got crispy prosciutto, binceo. That's not in Caesar's. And tomatoes are usually not in Caesar. What is all this stuff? This is not so classic.

I don't know is a man that slammed a giant. Why don't you do that? And you can make your own menu. There's a lot of us is the WWF champion from 1983 to 1994. This website's got a lot of like word probably. Ah, he tuned a salah. So yeah. Oh yeah. Who proofread this? No one. I'm telling you right now. This is what happens when you're when you sent this in a text. Yes, he went out of no brother. I like question him.

It's maybe salad, but don't ask. He goes, I like tuna brother. Tropical tuna stacks throwing a salad. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, how do you want me to spell it champ? They got to call him champ still. Go out, go down. All right, we got the salads.

Handheld. Now we're talking. Cuban Rubin. Cuban Rubin sounds pretty fucking good. I'm telling you right now whoever runs Hogan's handout hang out for a box of shirts Hogan's hand that's is that's his charity If you if you send me in the crew a box of t-shirts We will create the title for your menu all based on 80s wrestling and it will do better for your business.

Fucking. We will absolutely call him like Coco Beware Wings. The major oversight. Oh my Jimmy Snooka, I'll give you tuna tower. Oh yeah. Top rope tuna tower. Yeah, do come on. Top rope tuna tower is brilliant.

Oh that's a great one. Carry Okie, Jimmy Harry. I saw him do it again dip doodling dip damn you Jerry hearts has got a he just stays there and they watch Monday night We're all oh my god. That's what I want to get it. Oh my god. Yeah, that's really fucking that's sad It's come on baby. I just found another six month residency. Oh, and if don't forget Nick Hogan's Beach party host of my whole Kogan Thursdays at Hogan's hangout. Yeah. Did you watch the reality? It's what ruined it.

I watched every episode at ruined Hogan many, Hulk and many effort. Here's the only part where it ruined it for me officially. I was able to deal with everything until the episode where he drove a boat by his past his house. Oh my god, that's a later season. I just set there looking at his family. I think it was in the water because he he goes not allowed to be a thousand yards

This is the hardest part brother the dogs the dogs are just out there barking for him Hey dogs, yeah, it's me little for brothers For brothers, it's just me hey little Kong Bundy brothers it's just me hey little con Bundy yeah yeah because I name one of them joking I'm gonna win that princess con Bundy oh here's just sit to the boat and looks at his old house well here while her son's best friend is fucking his mouth yeah that her son went to high school with yeah, oh Jesus. I had no idea. Wow Right is that her name? Yeah, yeah Because I want to see him in a ladder match

She got the house any younger guy. Yeah Banked out she did she really did she let him drop the leg enough that he fucking got the huts. That's what they called having sex. You dropped the leg. It goes, Luna, I want to drop the leg. She's like a tired, tired, tired. You ready for the big boot? Terry. Don't call me Terry brother. Don't call me brother, Terry. Oh My god That house God damn right dude, you know much how nice it felt for a 19 year old just walking around the girls places nice And I get to walk around with the chip chubby put down the bus in the belts and he goes Copping on one of the rip back shirts. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care

Can you check me off one of the rip back shirts. Yeah, it's got your hair on. It's a tear one. I don't care. It's a tear. Can you check me off while I tear it? Can you do it? E-E-E-E. He goes, how did he get this thing off? He's just keep going down. Yeah. Yeah.

There's the bottom. Can you cut that? Can you cut that with a... This is Gully's ripped off to... Did you take them? Yeah. They're just to take? Dude, that's so funny.

He goes, can I wear the belt while I'm meeting cereal? And she goes, yes, but not salsa. That'll stain the leather belt on it. The video is so sad. So funny. There's also a book when I lost. Oh, there is a part. Part two is when he gets sad.

There he's cutting a promo, dude. Bring it up, because he did hogan hands. Cut it to the beginning, and he goes, we'll tell you something, brother. The pinkies out. I don't know. 130 willed down. What a hell.

The hose to go to the place. This 38 square foot right back to the spot right there. Take these out. He's fucked. That's a good day. I know it's snowing up north, but we get 82. What's it going to do right here? He's fucked up. I was saying. Yeah, he's got a good energy. He's like my my boat's way bigger isn't what fits in there. You know what I'm saying? Double on time for saying it out saying it brother. All I'm saying is he's got a pond. Yeah, dude. He's like, I'm feeling good. My starting new business might go by Hogan's beach and update the menu. Christine back to the menu, please. Back to the all you two in a tower, because we never got to the Cuban Ruben, the big fish.

Okay, on a brioche bun. Dude, he's there. This is good. Can I tell you something though? They're taking risks where they don't need to take risks. Where? Where? I mean, brilliant spalling.

Wow. Dress up the menu a little bit. You've got a lot of great stuff here. A group or BLT? I love to try that. The Turkey Club, first of all, I'm a fan that they announced to you right out of the gate. Bores in Turkey.

Great. Fantastic. Group or BLT? I don't know. From a general press lady, maybe. Canadian bacon on a BLT, on a club? Where's that? No, no, no, Dan.

You can't read. It says candied bacon. I'm dumb. Sorry, but Canadian bacon. I don't want to thickle hunk of balloony bacon. Let's that? No, no, no, Dan. You can't read. It says candy bacon. I'm dumb. Sorry, but the Canadian bacon, I don't want to thickle hunk of below these bacon. Let's make a lot of that. I don't like Canadian bacon on anything in the world. You don't like it on ex-Benediac.

I don't. I think it's so gross. On ex-Benediac, it's good. I don't trust a complete circle meat. It's just ham. Yeah. I'll eat it in Europe so I don't give myself away but sometimes it has a thing like a rind on it.

Daniel, I'll eat it as a cloaking device. That's it. Only under as a ruse. Cheese stick. All right. Now he's getting the deep terracotta. Let's go see what this cheese stick recipe is. Yeah.

Butter stick ribeye. Filly beef. Saute peppers. Is there a picture of it somewhere. Garlic and garlic. How do you feel, Oli? Nah, he's in smoked prolettes of mess. It might be a decent sandwich.

It's not a fully cheese thing. Do you let us rename the menu, Hogan's Beach? Please. Yeah. The hangout burger? Come on, dude. What's the delio? No.

No. Come on. Don't forget, remember, you also the delio? No, no Don't forget remember I'll see everyone Hulk Hogan daughter was hanging out rappers and he started trying to talk hip hop What about me sort of dressing that way sir? We're like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right And big chains dude totally what with it. He did it. It's a lot of salad influence. He looks like Dante Yeah, remember yeah Do you remember when he was like talking to Nick about it when they were like talking on the phone He's like, yeah brother. Well, you know, I mean, there's a before we leave the heavy-end bombs. Yeah, there was There's a lot dude if you're a pro wrestler. It's not good. Hogan if there's one person in the world I say stuff like a special area. It's me and the boy going to a corn concert

Boomed up to Dean. Dubbed a Dean and brother mean the boy going to a corn concert. Boomed up to Dean, dubbed a Dean and brother. Yeah, he'd hoagin rules when I was a kid though. Dude, I mean, he has been the, the internet has not been kind to Hulk Hogan. No, he was so, all of his biggest famous years were in a world

sans internet and then it all just happened on him. And it's like, he said the N word. He's oiled up his daughters ass. Like I said, he also had that gocker trial and someone made And it's like he said the N word. He's oiling up his daughter's ass. Like everything. He also had that gocker trial and someone made fun of him and said it looked like a bouncer at a funeral. Dress like a bouncer at a funeral. And that one viral. Everyone's like, that's exactly how it dresses.

But it's everything which is at his wife leaving and fucking the other part. His girlfriend looking like his daughter and then making a big deal about that. Now he's divorced and he's back at it. Then it's hard. It's really hard to watch older professional Ric Flair now is legitimately a bummer to watch on Instagram. Cause his girlfriend left him and then he keeps being like, she's back with the natch baby.

She had a drink and you're like, oh buddy, buddy. Yeah. Some people just aren't internet friendly, you know? Like they're... They don't mesh well with it or they don't live a life that is reflected well on it. No, I don't know. I feel bad, but the whole Cogin should never be on the internet ever. No, he should know. His daughter's hot though. That's for sure. Is she still doing music? I don't know. I think she's not doing music. She married a guy that played for the New

York Giants. Did she? Yeah, Center. Oh, Shmarro to Lionel. That was no yell the inward about. Yeah. I think he did. But he also had, I mean, the internet him trying to console his son. However, weird it was, trying to console son, then that goes out on the internet when he was in jail. Man, he was saying stuff that you never want. So his son was racing cars and had a friend with him who was in the Marines and there was a car accident. They crashed no tree. They crashed no trees.

He was just driving a zillion miles on it. He was driving like 120 miles an hour and they crashed and his friend was brain dead. Oh no. And there was a phone call of when his son was in jail because they record all the phone calls in jail. Hogan was on the phone and he's like, he must have done something to piss off God, brother.

Yeah, he goes, eh, sure, I knew what Jimmy did to piss off God to put him in this position. Yeah, he basically was just wiping blame off his kid. He's being like, I respect for the veterans. Dude, pretty wild. It was pretty crazy. But again, this was all at the same time as all this shit's coming out of him.

Just it was non-stop. Everything's like, oh my god. Brother, can anything just be in house? Yeah. Can something just stay private? Let's go down to the hangout. Oh my god. There's the house burger, a pontoon boat parked into.

OMG sauce. What is this? OMG sauce. I bet it's just thousand island dressing. Is it for sure? Yeah. With some spice in it. Yeah, I mean, with some sriracha.

Yeah, yeah. With vitamins. Yeah, with some spice in it. Yeah, me with some sriracha. Yeah, that is a fancy. With vitamins. It's shaking with vitamins and prayers. Yeah. You've been listening to Sirius XM's Bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on Sirius XM.

Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.