The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Marcus King & LeMaire Lee Part 2

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

The hang continues as Marcus King is playing the Blue Note in New York City after the Bonfire. Marcus had to deal with unruly fans at his show the night before. Jay brings up a clip of John Cougar Mellencamp dealing with hecklers in a poor way. Bobby mentions that comedian Pete Lee appeared on Fallon revealing that his house burned down in the LA wildfires. Bobby also mentions that Pete's house was rented. LeMaire Lee is performing at Helium in Philly this week! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Hang on Bobby I couldn't hear what you said because Lou once again disrespect you and didn't turn your microphone on the right time I did Well, what do I do dude? I put it up exactly the same time. As soon as you put on your headphones your mic goes up I thought it was soon as Jay puts on his headphones the mics go up. Yeah that too. Are you sure this isn't Will? No I'm sure.

I know because he has the evil mustache. No no no this is because he now has a black body sitting on that face now. My bro. No. Yeah. Lou's got a black girlfriend. Well he called her African American. Lou always has an ethnic girl though. Lou's got a black girlfriend. Well, he called her African-American.

Lou always has an ethnic girl though. That's right. Straight up. He's a man of seasoning. I know. He's almost see-through white, but this guy is never ever. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I don't know.

He's making sure if he has a baby, this thing's coming out with some flavor. Yeah. And not just a ball of freckle. A goddamn ball of freckle. I was at the cellar last night and they had a kick some girl Chappelle was on Yeah, so they had a drag some Proportionately fat white chick out why cuz she was just going that's not funny That wasn't good either, okay, she wasn't really she was heckling in such a weird, but wasn't was she a critic Who do you work for comedy weekly it was

She was a fellow comedian I don't like that one So she was selling a shabelle not good. Not just go go that wasn't it that wasn't funny I go back and forth with her. No Amy Schumer They dragged her out and she was out front like what I don't understand When you get caught you get kicked out what the fucking process is when you go what I was just saying I don't like that. If you're getting kicked out of a place. I'm never blown away They don't understand why they're kicked out and I said my favorites always been kicked out for

laughing that's also it's also the worst when it's fans who get kicked out and then you go outside and they're telling you kicked out for laughing and I am such a pushover in that regard I don't believe them for two seconds but I just sandbag the club completely and go I know man they're like sticks up their ass in there I don't know what it is. They don't even want people laughing anymore. It's like I know I agree I've been saying that I might go you guys gotta stop kicking people for laughing, but like policies are policies There are some people that go and cock they the comedy cock block laugh

Well, they just want to make it about them where every Joe's right at the end they go like this Whoever's talk whoever is saying that outside of a comedy club to security was not doing that at all that's not what they were doing at all oh no I almost choked the dog oh god oh god you killed Marcus's dog you were telling a story did you ever kick somebody out kick somebody out of a show yeah if you look down and go get him out Kick somebody out of a show. Yeah. You ever look down and go, get them out?

My band. Don't get, nah. Oh, nah, get out of here. Get that one right there. Now, my band has, because they kind of look at the audience, I don't look out. I don't see so good, you know, and I keep these shades on, so I can't see very far in front of me anyway, because it just distracts me. So tonight, when I think you're looking at me, it's not happening. I might be able to see you all tonight.

Yeah cuz there's a smaller room. Marcus over here! Do this one to me! And in between songs I'm gonna go that's not even funny! That's no good get your hands off me! It's not funny Marcus! hands off me. It's not funny Marcus! We had a couple last night that were trying to engage a little too much. No shit. What do they do to us? Marcus, here's our keys, come to our room. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they wanted me to do the Michael Jackson tune last night, and just started singing the chorus. I mean, Chris Dave's on drums, and he can be very menacing if he needs to, so he just kinda stopped playing and just like stared, the fucking fear got into this guy's.

That's crazy, when the drummers start staring at you. Yeah. That's a fucking drummer staring at you. Yeah. Fucking drummer staring at you. So far away. Very disapproving look like a teacher would give. Yeah. Do you ever see John Cougar Mellencamp go through it with the audience? No, but I can imagine that's pretty rough.

Wait, the Cougar's a hard time with the audience? I love John Cougar Mellencamp so much. From my childhood, even I just love the song, so many of them. But his engagement with the audience is brutal. The show I went to, they were already the crowd, we talked about this, the crowd was already like, they're heckling, but because they just wanted to play music, because he goes on, I mean,

no exaggeration, seven minute rants between songs about stories that are completely fictitious and not real at all. Sucking down chili dogs. Not even it was just the one was what we played a couple times but the one was about a girl about a girl came and by the way he charged he was overselling by the way and he's been famous for too long to do this he's overselling the I don't know big money celebrity anyway you know. Alright. She's like I

remember I was what out in LA one time with a bunch of my agents and the record company people I don't know they got me out of some house manager because yeah there's some fun they take me out some fancy steak house my assistant was with me and her assistant was with her and my stylist and my stylist was there he goes yeah he's like he's like I don't know we're having like fillet mignin I don't even know what you call this stuff now. Oh yeah just like that willing ignorance thing. Yeah confusing. That's my favorite steak by the way fillet mignin. He goes you know me guys I just I'd rather kill it myself and eat it but that's not it. I decided to wear my coveralls. He says he saw a girl. He looks like Dewey Cox. Oh, yeah.

Well, this will be the funny one. But when we saw, he says he saw. It tells a story. He saw a girl outside, and she kept walking back and forth. It looked like panicking, and she was kind of talking to herself. So we went outside. Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong right there? And she's like running around and saying something.

I'm far from home, and I don't know what this and that. And he goes, well, calm down, that. He goes, well calm down sweetheart. I goes, how about I give you a little bit of money and you can get yourself a bus ticket home. And then she said to me, they don't want me there. And the crowd goes like, oh. I said, maybe somebody wants you there. And she goes, I just need money to eat.

And it's way longer than this. And he goes, so eventually I gave her $20, and she snatched it out of my hand so quick, and she just ran off across the street. And then she ran off, she turned around and said, thanks, mister. She goes, thanks, mister. Now I don't have to suck dick for dinner tonight.

And he went, no, that's $20. He said, no, you still do, sweetheart. You gotta suck my dick for that. He goes, I'm gonna have to actually have the Better Business Bureau hit you up if you don't get back over here. And this new song is called, She Sucked My Dick for a Twenty. Oh my God.

Twenty bucks. But he's, but her yelling out, I don't have to suck dick now for my dinner tonight. It's like, this didn't happen. Like your fancy Asian dinner, you went outside to get the girls enough to suck. And by the way, she did suck a dick for a little extra. She's like, why not? You know what? You can never have too much money.

Who ever said that? Exactly. Well, you can burn through 20 bucks at Taco Bell pretty quick. God damn right. God damn right. I mean, 20 bucks at a Taco Bell lasts a month. Well, at Taco Bell, you always order Taco Bell. We're always going back to fat shit.

Taco Bell, what I feel like you order at Taco Bell is a tasting menu. Are you familiar with the term tasting menu? You're not gonna eat all the thing, but you get three chicken soft taco Supremes, because that's what that order is. Well, that's what the maddest I've ever got at you is when we did that show, we were doing that college tour,

and you were like I can we stop And get food and I was like fuck. I just want to go home and you're does it talk was a Taco Bell No, it was Wendy's which is funnier. What would you would you go? I know I know what I got And we pulled up you tell it. I'm sorry. It makes me mad to this day We left a strip club in new and we were driving back. Yeah, maybe that night We were gonna try to stay up, so we were like, let's get some food before we hit the road from North Carolina.

And we go through a Wendy's and Bobby gets excited. Now Bobby's not, I didn't know Bobby had a weight issue at this point. He looked fantastic. I tell you, the colleges, they were throwing it at him. I look fantastic, but fat was always inside. It was always lurking. I don't realize, when I get Bobby to,

and Bobby by the way plays the card the whole time of like, you know, it's definitely rolling on to me. It's like, okay, I guess I gotta feed this fat kid or he's gonna not be able to drive or whatever. Well that was a fact too. No, no for sure, for sure. That did weigh into it. I had to feed the fat kids who you drive.

Absolutely it did. You gotta feed the fat kid or else he won't drive. I gotta keep me a blood sugar up. And here's what's happening. I'm trying to probably, because I don't even remember this being a time in my life where I'm thinking about my weight too much, other than just being sad that I'm overweight,

but not really overthinking. It's probably crushing Wendy's that's making that happen. But I didn't think like that, but I think I was trying to maybe, you don't wanna be the fat guy eating when the handsome guy who just everyone was winging ass at is not gonna eat shitty, but what Bobby's thinking is, this is my excuse to go eat like a little fatso and

and I'm gonna be like well Jay wanted to get Wendy's so we had to get Wendy's but I don't eat like this all the time so Bobby puts his order in and then they ask they go and you know and for you we're in a drive-thru and I go I'm gonna get the taco salad and they're like okay one timethru, and I go, I'm gonna get the taco salad. And they're like, okay, one taco salad, extra sour cream, and they go, okay. And then we drove over, and Bob, I didn't even know, I'm looking at the drive-thru thing,

and then I drive forward and turn around, and Bobby is burning a hole in my neck. Dude, staring at me, because he was like, a fucking taco, and I was like... I'm so mad. Are you gonna eat that while driving? No, we pulled over so we could like drive We ate it in the

In the uh, drive where the garage there parked right But man, it was his fate He was so upset and then the question was the meanest question anyone's ever asked me before with his eyes I go Yeah Bobby, I don't always just eat like the shittiest food He goes Well then how did that happen?

No hand motions no whatever he scanned me with his eyes I terminated him and he meant all of that he meant all of it how did this whole problem happen yeah and I saw monsters ball and I found out chocolate under your pillow you have snack stashes around the house Didn't they like forget your sour cream. Oh, yes. Oh, they forgot his extra sour cream and we were pulling away he's like Just the fattest You know my sour my sour creams on in here and I'm like you see I can't have Mexican food We had to go back around and go, so mad.

We have, is this the John Cougar? This is what, so what happened was he's always in these kind of like, and people are starting to heck him a lot more because they're just, and they're really hecking with like, jack in the hand, dude, sing the song, like get to the thing. And he's just getting frustrated. I guess it's like getting out there enough that he just bails. Nobody tells him, nobody tells him, if he's at that story, it was like getting out there enough that he just bails. Nobody tells him, like nobody tells him. If he's at that story was like,

she's down to have to suck a dick from $20. If he just went right into that song, I sucked a dick for $20, that'd be great. No he doesn't. He goes, this next song's about that. And then he plays a song from a long time ago that's not the case of that at all. No Suck A Dick For $20? It all. No Suck A Dick For 20?

It's not titled Suck A Dick For 20? No, no, no, no. He's like, yeah, he goes, this song's about that. When the wall comes rumbling down, when the wall. I mean, it was fun to see him play, but he really just went on and on and on. You're like, sing. But at the Beacon, they were just like,

a bunch of people were like, come on! How funny, basically, we went to see Marcus in between each song. He's like, I want to tell you about this time. I had today well Like we've been doing this acoustic tour me and my other guitar player drew Smithers And I do like take a little time to stretch out and I'll tell stories like that pertain to the song You know like this one time in printers alley. I saw this like ghost or fucking demon or like

printer's alley I saw this like ghost or fucking demon or like whatever you want to call it like had no face kind of thing. Jay doesn't live in any of it. And I wrote this song about it with Dan Auerbach. I mean it's cool but like you tell a story that pertains to it but yeah I could see him telling a story that has absolutely fucking nothing to do with the song. This guy just needs a friend in the world. No one's talking to him because he wants to get these stories out and he tells the same stories every night. The stories change from I don't have to fuck tonight for money or for dinner or I don't have to suck dick

was the one time. The story changed because it's like part of the set. It's belaboring and fucking terrible. He seems like a grandstander. It's too much. I've heard from runners. It makes him very unlikable in that regard. But I said the songs were great. He still sounds good fucked with Jack and Diane He did a weird

Why would you take my childhood away from me I'm not gonna lie. Is it Diane and Diane now? Go ahead and play, this is great. By the way, stage meltdowns are fantastic. That's the one you showed me last time? Well, we're friends with Chris Kail, Five Finger Death Punch. Fiverr Death Punch has one of the most famous, I want to say it's Charlotte maybe? I forget the city it was, Memphis,

it's the Memphis Meltdown, it's called, where he was trashed on stage, Ivan, before he got sober, and he's just being, he's pissing them off so much, the whole band individually, one at a time, just leaves the stage, and then he really has, like he goes over to the drums, he's like, I don't care, I don't know about myself,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, he's just like wailing drums, it's like, holy shit. Hey, did you hear Rob Dukes is back in Exodus? I did hear that news and I held on to it for fucking three days. He's back in Exodus. It's amazing He's back on tour. Our friend Rob Dukes. Congratulations, brother. Hell, yeah. He's so excited. He's going on tour with him Did he beat a case or something? No, no, no The old lead singer didn't.

Just now. No, he was the lead singer years ago, 10 years ago. He's the Wall of Death guy. You ever see that video, the Wall of Death video? Wall of Death. No, no. Where he keeps the crowd on that side and he's like Wait, when I want, when I go, I want you

to kill them. And he makes them wait and wait and then he goes yeah They just go fucking boom and they just murder each other think everybody died, right? Here it is right here, this is one of the create greatest things They all have that look that's like it's really hard to put it really hard to explain that they're not neo-nazis no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no It's all, it's funny how, yeah, but for sure. I mean, how do you get, I mean, the signage looks like, it's written like Nazi propaganda or something. Wild. Is Hatebreed Brody King the professional wrestler?

Or no, do you not know? No, I don't know. Oh, the music they come out to you? I don't know. No, well, he's a professional wrestler who, he sings for a hardcore band, like lead sings. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know.

Well, you know, know like these metal crowds, and you know this, they're the most accepting, just warm, they'll bum you a cigarette and talk and just hang, open-minded. I was so scared when we went to see Slipknot, because I brought my son and I was terrified because everyone was talking about, well the wall of death or something,

no the snake pit, he was already disappointed. Cherub faces like me and the mayor. Hey, he told me, he's like, you don't have to worry about it. They have like weird rules that they go by. And it was fine. It was one of the funnest cons I've ever been to with my kid.

Oh yeah. It was a little, I was a little nervous. We went to Pantera and Luis J. Gomez peacemaking to dad's fighting was one of the funniest things I've ever been a part of. Oh wow. Luis made and Luis J. Gomez, peacemaking to dads fighting was one of the funniest things I've ever been a part of. Oh wow. Luis made peace? Yeah.

It was the strangest thing. By the way, none of these guys wanted peace. Luis would keep firing them and risk holding them over to each other and be like, shake hands and stop it, guys. Pantera's not about that. And then the guys would shake hands because Luis, they thought Luis was intimidating them somehow. They're like, all right, shake hands.

And then they would be like, now, stand next to each other and enjoy Pantera. And then they would just gleam at each other like they was intimidating them somehow. They're like, all right, and then they would be like, now stand next to each other and enjoy Pantera. And then they would just gleam at each other, like they hated each other still. It didn't make any sense. Is this the wall of death? Yeah, this is it right here. We do this at Skankfest every year.

Yeah. This was nuts. Gave my mic, gave my mic. Ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hold! Hold. I mean, this is thousands upon thousands of people.

You should do that tonight at the Blue Note. At the Blue Note. Wall of Death at the Blue Note? You should do that. Hold! For the softest ballad, but just in the middle. I'll be like, hey guys, I'm gonna need you guys to separate side to side over here. When I say go, when the song kicks back in it may be applicable like during the most just like

Avant-garde like you know fully just like freedom of expression jazz moment Just to have people just fucking go nuts on each other. Oh absolutely. What's what I almost think what's like the in like Could your music's what blues bluegrass country? I mean I do a little bit of everything, but playing with these guys, playing with Chris Dave, and he played with Eric Kabaadu, everybody. I mean, he's like, whatever. Yeah, you know. Yeah.

You heard of her? Eric Kabaadu, man. Chris Dave, he played drums on the Mood Swing's record with me. He's like Rick Rubin's go-to guy for drums. But he's one of the most OG cats, and he's just super cool. So we're playing more like Jazz Fusion, Neo Soul kind of stuff. A little bit of everything. And you guys know Mono Neon, bass player?

I mean, Mono Neon's just from a different planet, man. Can I put in a request now? Bobby was so happy that I said no first before he had to tell you he doesn't know who that is. You just have to stare forward and be like sorry for Jay not knowing. If you don't know Mono Neon man you gotta check him out. He's such a, I mean he's a wildcat. I mean you guys will meet him tonight on Tradition. It just bothered me that Jay literally said what I was thinking. soon as you said mononium. I looked down he knows

You know that is no one's familiar I guess Bobby does know though Christine keep please bring up John Cougar melancholy You know February's coming up and we all have to marry history month Cougar Ballon can you play on the channel by D'Angelo? Listen up, I just wanna say something. You know February's coming up and we all have people. La Mer history month? We all have people we love. We all have people we love. Woo.

And if I get this in. Yappy? You almost hit somebody. Kobe. Now. Wow. Oh too soon. You shoot like Kobe now. Now Ari took all of this shit now you're

allowed to make fun of Kobe because Ari got a hundred percent of the problem he died for our sins Ari's comedy Jesus yes. But it seems like an hour. Just play some music. Back it up. This is the most butt hurt I'm taking my ball and going home. Like, you're the guy on stage. You do have an opportunity always with that. You have the microphone, you have everything, to be the cooler one in the situation for

sure. Even if you're, there's been times where I'm nervous where the person in the audience who's like getting where it's getting heated and they're like why don't you meet me outside and you're like and you could I know I could say the things that it's like if I go outside even if you say those where I've said that before well if I go outside you might win the fight but in here I'm annihilating you and then let's secure you take him out you could still look cool without even have to do too much of anything this does not hold cool at all cuz doesn't he start?

He's like replace me because shut up man. So where was I know what I don't even care And fuck all those people first of all They're all thinking the same exact thing. 100% they were. I went into the cell last night and Pete Lee was there. And he did the whole story about his house burning down on the Tonight Show. It was fake.

No, he was renting. It wasn't his house, he was renting. Shut up. Buddy. Shut the fuck up. I walked in last night, he's sitting there, I went, you were renting. He's like, yeah.

That's fucking crazy. He goes, yeah, but I mean, my stuff was in there. I go, some of it. I go, I go. He goes, yeah, but. All your favorite stuff is with you on the road right now, because you could wear it. I go, he goes, I was living there.

I go, yeah, but I gave you your house compassion. If I knew you were renting, that's a different level of compassion I would have gave you. What's your fucking landlord's number? Let me give what I gave you, let me give it to that guy, because all you have to do is rent a new place. What a jag off. I'll send for my things, I'm just kidding. Keep my security deposit. Rosebud Baker and everybody there like, Bobby, how could you? I'm like, shut the you guys think the same thing

i'm not saying it everyone's like how brave he was a gone found after he lost some of his stuff that and then he goes i think you know i don't know all my saved playstation games how i could just log in well she will remind you please tell you know that you're good all my

VR I love all the stuff that he lost is like rich white guy shit my Tesla relax The Tesla my super fitted button down shirt Yeah, not one of us like my my rosary beef for my grandma that she gave me before she died if it's that All my trophies for my serial kills. No! My box of ponytails! It's my cue cards for my 20th Fallon show. Not the child born, no! All of my homemade snuff! They were so mad at me around the table. They're wrong and you'm like, fuck all of you. The sellers change. You heard it here first.

It's run by monsters who don't know how to control their own fucking comics. It's a zoo in that goddamn place, and no one has any sense of what's right or wrong anymore. Except for. Bobby Kelly. Thank you. Out of here with fucking my rental house.

He got on fouling with that. They didn't mention that at all. He goes, I was just running. He goes, yeah, my home. He even says this. At one point he goes, look, I'm not rich.. They didn't mention that at all. He goes, I was just running, he goes, yeah, my home. He even says this at one point, he goes, look, I'm not rich. It was a modest home.

It was someone else's home. You called another person's home a modest home, you piece of shit. No, he fucked it. At the end of this is where I heard it, because I literally was taught, I was like, I had my hand on his shoulder. That's your house compassion.

And I physically touch you and go, you all right? When I say, you need anything, give me a call, that's your home compassion. If you were renting, I'd be like, dude, let me know. You can stay at my house if you need to or whatever. And then at the end of this, he says, he fucks up and says, his friend's house, it slipped out. And that's where I go. Is it? Yeah. Do you know where It slipped out, and that's where I caught it.

Was it? Yeah. Do you know where it's at, Christine? No, I don't. This was just the picture that's higher. It is? Right at the end, I caught it. I caught it, and I was like, my wife went,

because I was telling her the whole story, I go, he lost his house, he lost his, he lost all his stuff, and at the end she went, he's renting. I was like, what? I like that we're taking the unpopular opinion of, fuck Pete Lee and his fucking stuff. I know we're going against the grain here.

But I think he's had it too good for too long, if I'm being honest. I think so too. The unpopular, I like that everyone's turning on you at a table. Nah, he's fine. He lost some things. Yeah.

His most of his stuff's in storage. His most of his stuff's in storage because he couldn't fit it in his modest friend's house. Fine It was modest friend's house That's actually few from the impractical jokers, it's all a goof And I wanted to tell you because I'm a huge fan of the tonight show over history, like I've read books on it, I've been to museums. I want to say I love The Tonight Show. Oh, my high school yearbooks. And instead I go, I love your impulse control. I think this might be too.

There's still a minute left. You said it's the very end. Was that a dig at Jimmy? It was when he told the end of the story. So, yeah, I mean, I was watching this with full compassion. You lost your house and I feel terrible. Not me though. And they show a picture of his friend's house.

That's not his. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If my apartment went down, I'd be pretty upset. Can I tell you who took that photo? The guy who owns that fucking house took that photo. Wait a second, wait, no, that's where Pete was living. But it's just it's not his. That's some other dude's house who we should call and talk to. We should talk to him was living. It's just it's not his that's that's the guy that some other dudes house

Who we should call and talk to we should talk to him about that Oh my god Unbelievable stolen valor stolen valor stolen valor. You shouldn't say you lost your house during a tragedy You didn't lose your house. You lost your stuff. You lost some stuff. The other stuff was in storage and you lost You still have stuff. Dude, you know, some people actually lost their children they couldn't lift up, and he's complaining over stuff? I know.

Wow, that's terrible. He's got to go... Why couldn't they lift up a kid? He's got to go to his storage and go like this, blow some dust off, and then go... All right, PlayStation 4. I guess we're going back to the Stone Age. all right playstation four i guess we're going back to the stone age

uh... slightly thicker television alright first role that's a good alright i phone was a fourteen there's no intelligence in the update. Look at Christine just staring at Pete and just gleaming at him. He specifically says, my house burned down. Yeah, he said, my house, my house, and then at the end he says, I was renting.

This is why he's laughing hysterically right now. I'm just kidding, I don't give a shit. Wow, crazy. Wow. Yeah. Rachel Ray, I'm sorry. You have to hear things like that Her eyes go went down. Yeah Luckily she stayed behind and ate all the food as it was cooking in real time What are you gonna waste it she's a cook Now the sick little palm tree stump fire is perfect for cooking a skirt steak

Now, the sick little palm tree stump fire is perfect for cooking a skirt steak. Where's my pets? Where are all my pets? If you can get part of that fire and put it low and slow, you can make some nice barbecue. True that. Oh yeah. You should open up a stand. By the way, you see people, that was the first thing I saw, they're calling the looters, the people going through the rubble.

I'm like, yeah, if that was all the rich people, go through their rubble. There's a lot of stuff that fucking held up. There's a burnt up box full of Rolexes, for sure, out there. 100%, take a shit. The box is all burnt up, but those fucking watches might be okay. And Bobby, as you being a watch smith,

you can fix them yourself anyway. Christine. And aren't they like gold? I don't know much about Rolexes. Aren't they all gold? Not all of them. Some of them are stainless steel but the higher end ones are, they call them precious metals. White gold, regular gold and then the real motherfuckers is the platinum. See I don't know about shit like that because me and Mark are a couple of regular dudes at the Corbin. Sure we're successful entertainers, but, and do we look the part?

Yes. I mean, I can't hate that you wore your shirt and didn't call me. We do look the part, but Rolex is, we're not really those kind of guys. We're more rustic. You know what, me and Christine bought you one for Christmas, so we'll return it.

That's fine, I don't need that. Give it to the poor, right? Wait. Wait. Wait. Marcus, do you want it? What would the kids do give it to the poor right Marcus do you want it? Chains why haven't you just robbed him blind He's not gonna see a million dollars missing just pull a TK Kirkland like a honey Murphy He will not I promise you Shane will not see one million dollars missing if you slowly siphon it out a little bit at a time.

Shane kicked him out. He didn't kick me out. He didn't kick me out. I moved out. Why? Because you were stealing less than a million? I told you, you gotta take it one big shot. If you're gonna kick it anyway, dude, take it one big shot. He's not gonna take you to court. You can't look at that phased court and then press charges. He's gonna be like, it's only a million. He goes, it is only a million. Get out of here. Look at my little sausage fingers, you wanna bite?

Dude, Dan Soder came over and he told me, he was like, once Shane gets a girlfriend and they move back, you're gonna have to go, because it'll be a whole nother problem. Like it's a whole different set of problems. If it was just us there. She's gonna be too hot for your big black cock? No, no, no, no, no.

He's like, there's gonna be a problem. I sleep in Shane's bed naked with his girlfriend being there like yeah it's just like another set of problems that wouldn't want to deal with so I just moved out that's fair yeah he's got his own place now he's a big boy nice good for you that's great dude like six Street area no I'm like change the whole house can you we haven't finished on the John Mellon camera it's so good for we have to go. I have to go here. Hang on, I'm gonna start it. Just let it go. No!

No! What do you think I mean, dude? You're a fucking sexist. Now here's the thing, man. You don't know me. You don't fucking know me. I like he has the reaction of out of control teens on Mari Povich.

Yeah. You don't fucking know me. That's drunk wife energy right there. Yeah. I like he has the reaction of teenage out-of-control teens on Mari Povich You don't fucking know me drunk wife I know I also never realized that house that he looks like if you were squinting your eyes. It's Josh Edemeyer's right there Come on. It's Josh not on tea steroids of peptides by the way also when Josh does comedy people yell out, Just play your songs! laughter The anti-cougs But it's so funny cause it's the reverse You don't know me, no! He's been following you for 40 years

You don't know him! I'm wildly aware of you! I spent $150 on you Do you think I wandered in here? laughter What a fucking shitty response let me see this guy after the show all five foot one of John Cougar melon camp who's got eight songs about bragging what a good dancer he is. Not one says he kicks ass.

He lets you know. And he takes a lot of pictures where he's showing you his dance ass. Sounds like Mark Maron in Almost Famous. He just closed the gate on these fuckheads. Oh, here he goes. He's great. He's going to go, I could just leave. I'm gonna cut about 10 songs out of this show. Here we go.

I'm gonna do it. Got a jacked down hand. It goes right to the hit. It's a closer. You know what? Show's over. Oh. No.

No. Did he do that No, I know reality left. He just left It's like you're about to- No, it's a category? Yeah. It's like you're about to come in and the girl's like, ugh, like punches you and shit. It's crazy. There's not a lot that could ruin mine. No. Well, I mean, it's like girls giving you the ick

before you come. You're like, no, not right now. And you're like, ugh, fuck, it's too late. Right. Jesus Christ. Well, that's that really great Louis C.K. thing he said about, you could show me a picture of you

cutting my mother's head off. After I come, we're gonna have a serious talk about it. Yeah. I mean, I kind of subscribe to that. No doubt, in the moment. I mean, he didn't do anything cool or anything. He just started a little bit of that fucking song. Yeah, he goes, you know what, I'm done.

He was embarrassed, huh? He's just like, you know what, man? How do you say something shitty and then start playing that fucking song? Yeah, you should do that at one of your shows if somebody heckers you like yeah, fuck you What do you do for work? I'm out. Have you ever fucked a black guy? No, I'm happy to hear your parents are still you know what did I give a fuck? Yeah, really my Marshmellia? Nope. Axl Rose did that really cool one where he's like, you know, thanks to you guys and the shitty security, I'm going home. Spikes the microphone.

And he like, sends a mic down and it feeds back. That wasn't cool at all. No. Well, also, when Sebastian Bach jumped in the audience, he did with like a feet-first lunging kick. So that's pretty gay. Axl Rose dove head first into the audience. Oh, Jay, you had a heckler. You took care of that motherfucker, though. Sure did.

But after I was yanked off of stage by my dainty ankles. I mean, you would be built. Like, you could just wear, like like fucking compression shorts and a fur coat. Yeah, I do imagine that all the time. Oh yeah, it's me and you, our wardrobe reverts to that. Oh my god, I would definitely get a fucking boa. If we ever get thin enough. I would get a boa and some yoga pants.

Are you out of your mind? I'm going to talk this serious about getting all four of us on this show because we could probably do five short hours just discussing the things like, you're absolutely right. I don't necessarily want to wear that, but I want to be able to wear what Axl Rose is wearing, a fur vest and bike shorts and maybe some suspenders attached to that and still go backstage and have a complete 10 bag to suck my cock,

my sweaty white biker shorted cock. That has to add to like the rage just cuz you're like I'm fucking ridiculous and you're not gonna listen to my shit I know right I put on I dressed like a fucking asshole for you guys Anybody like a Marilyn Manson they come out I dressed like fucking Napoleon was a guy seriously If you throw things we're gonna leave Serious things we're gonna go because we're not at worse stop it Now can we have some fun or are we gonna have this all night? Sorry Marilyn Manson Marcus King will be at the Blue Note in in New York City tonight January 15th through January

19th. After that he's going to be in Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho and Australia for tickets and all other tour dates. Visit MarcusKingOfficial.com and be sure to check out Marcus's new album Mood Swings wherever you listen to music. Oh and LaMare Lee is going to be at Healy in Philadelphia tomorrow night, Thursday January 16th. For tickets and all tour dates go to LaMare Lee's gonna be at Healy in Philadelphia tomorrow night! Thursday January 16th for tickets and all tour dates go to lamarelee.fun and make sure you follow them at Lamare Lee on all social

and make sure you check out Ari Shafir's new special it's out right now on Netflix. On Netflix. America's Sweetheart it's hilarious it's streaming now check it out and Big Jay Netflix is gay though. It is gay. Big's streaming now check it out and big J Netflix is gay though It is gay big J's gonna be in Miami this Thursday, January 16 through Saturday January 18th after that He's gonna be in Orlando Syracuse, Los Angeles Ontario, California for tickets and all of the tour dates visit big J comedy comm and punchup live Big J Okerson and the specials and his specials are coming out coming out on YouTube I think they is coming out first. That's coming out first. It's gonna be on YouTube February 14th

One of the funniest guys walking right now hands down double crowd double crowd work special then Bob's misgendering your special I know You're thinking of they them on them they Contracts are coming out. I'm holding onto this seat with my fucking fingernails. No, Bobby. You see, they them is the trans thing. Them they is just the audience is what I'm talking about.

Very easy. Of course, you can catch Bobby at the Comedy Club at Kansas City January 23rd to the 25th. After that, Potavi, Illinois, Levittown, New York, Philadelphia, and a bunch more. You can catch him every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. The Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Seller. For tickets and tour dates punchup.live Robert Kelly and his new YouTube channel youtube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy We'll see you guys. We're gonna get a pre-record tomorrow, and I'm not here next week Tomorrow pre-record and then you're not here. I'm kind of sad. I know yeah We should probably have it a lot of fun the last few weeks.

But I'll be back and then we're going strong until... I have to go away again. That's terrible. It is terrible. Thank you so much, La Mer. Thank you so much, Marcus, for joining us. We'll catch you guys next time. Crackle, crackle.