The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Massage Parlor Protests

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Bobby starts the show in a cheerful mood because his team advanced in the NFL playoffs and Jay's did not. Jay's weekend was a failure not only because his team lost, but he encountered a protest in Tacoma Washington and failed to capture any of it on video. Bob tried to coach him to be an influencer and join the protest for Asian massage parlor workers. Jay tried to join in but ultimately cowered in the corner because he didn't want to make a mockery of the event. Bobby and Jay swap massage stories from their younger years. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. We're getting right into it today. Great song for Philadelphia. We're wrong. Who? Just once. Oh, this is the dig on the Eagles. Oh, it doesn't work on me, dude.

You're like a chick talking about sports. I like that you call me your chick. A chick. Can I move in? My chick would know more about sports. Dude, I'm a fans fan. What does that mean? I mean.

Dude, a fans fan, brother. You're a team fan. Like, you're a, the players would like you. Other fans like me. Where? I'm a fans fan. I don't know what that means. It's a terrible description.

I just made it up. Listen, the thing is, fair. Jay, I'm a fan's fan. Yeah, dude, I love it. When you're doing good, I'm there for you. When you're not doing good, I got shit to do. But they're doing good.

They got lucky yesterday. What's the middle linebacker's name? Ted Frank? Nope. Michael Jay. No. Fox. Larry Saunders.

Jackson jibibibababoo. If there's any lady out there who would like to call it and tell us, the name of the middle linebacker, it would be fantastic. This is the technique that all nerds use. Uh-huh. You can, I'm a fans fan, brother. You don't need to know the names of everybody and the stats. You know what you need to know is that they won. Right.

And I was in front of the TV. cheering and I got my Chinese Patriot swag that I got the... Dude, this is the worst hoodie. It's a bad hoodie. Buddy, this looked so good on Facebook. Was it made with a sticker?

Dude, it was supposed to be a rubber stamp like a three-dimensional like on Facebook it was a three-dimensional rubber stamp that was risen. You know what I'm talking about? And I bought me, Max, he got the hat, he got sweatpants,

and it showed up. Why didn't you just order from the NFL Pro Shop? Because I just saw this, and I panicked. Not a real fan. I'm a fans fan, brother. Fans fans order from China. What time's next week's game?

Next week's game. We've got to find out who we're playing first. See, I hope it's Pittsburgh. I'd like to play Pittsburgh. Why? I think a little tougher game, but I like to stick it in, you know, all of Pennsylvania, not just Philly. Oh, got you got sure. I like the whole state to fucking suck and be bummed out.

And plus this sandwich is stink. The sandwiches are better. Ugh, that sandwich? Than Boston. No, you're out of your mind. Yeah. No. Steak tips?

Your main food out there is fish come, dude. Who doesn't love fish come? When in fish come land, for sure. Yeah, you got to grow up on fish come. I know. You mean clam chowda? Yeah. Yeah, I love fish come.

Fish come's awesome. Fish come's okay. It's so good. Dude, when you have fish come, you have to think ocean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just think you, hmm, taking the bite out of the sea. Sandy. Yeah.

Sandy fucking clams. Could you imagine how to drink real cum like girls? Ugh. Ew. So warm and salty. Oh, they love clam chowder. They must love all chowders. Finally.

Oh, finally there's potatoes in it. Some carrots. Finally. Some carrots. I'm sorry, buddy. I wish I knew you were watching the gaming house because I would have came over. That would have been fun. Yeah.

No. It wouldn't have. For me. Oh, maybe. Look, you're the running back, though, missed how many catches did he make? I mean, he missed game-winning catches yesterday. He should have got. The wide receiver.

Wide receiver, yeah, that guy, the guy that runs and catches the ball. Jesus Christ. Buddy, can you talk to Max? It's so funny because Max played football. You know more than me. We're watching the game. He's like, Dad, that doesn't make sense. Three-pointer.

It's on a field goal. Every time I see a flag, I'm like, God damn it what we do. He goes, it's not on us, Bob. Dad, it's on the other team. You should call you Bobby when that's happening. Bobby, yeah. Call me Bobby.

Bobby, listen. We got lucky yesterday. Drake May was missing a lot, but we got a couple fumbles. It was a fun game. Well, the charters didn't do anything. They didn't do anything. Yeah, they got three points, right? Three points, but we, it was three three three for the first half.

And it was kind of like, holy shit. Yeah. And there was a couple times where we should have moved the ball. We didn't. And then we got a fumble and they fucked up a couple times. Get another week of football. Yep, another week. I have a Sunday show in Raleigh that, I don't, that's fine now.

Don't worry, I'll be full attention, everybody. That's so great that you can look at it and, you know, now you can do Sunday shows. No, no, no, no. I'll be suicidal Sundays at home when the Sixers aren't playing. Okay. It's one of my only things. Is the Sixers? Well, Sixers now.

Right, yeah. Now. They lost also in double overtime. Oh, shit, I'm sorry. The Eagles are done. Jacob, hi, you survived the tunnel fire? Fuck. How great is this that both you and Jacob have the same face for the first time in a long time?

Oh, yeah. Rough weekend all around. Yeah. Good shows, though. Fun shows out in a 4 p.m. show I had to do. What? Tacoma. So, cross-country.

So I got on a plane yesterday at 7 a.m. to fly six hours cross-country to get home, to rush, to watch the game, to watch them get lose unceremoniously. Are you allergic to something, Jacob? Yeah, funny. Sneeze? That was crazy, look. I didn't sneeze. I know, you went like this. You were trying to sneeze.

Is that possibly on camera? Fuck! What do you do? You went like this? He just stayed like that for like 10 seconds. Yeah, it was weird. Sure you weren't coming in your pants? Yeah, it looked like that.

They were being sucked off by a ghost. Apparition. Look at Ray Stentz over here. Serious XM. The O.B. and Andy Apparition that sucks guys off. Yeah, dude. Yeah, so...

Let's go Sixers. You did a 4 p.m. show on Sunday? Yeah. No, no, no. Saturday. So you had three shows on Saturday? Two Friday, three Saturday. Dude, I stopped doing those fucking three shows on Saturday.

It killed me. No, you're not supposed to do them. I disagree to another one, though, in Chicago, so... You did? Yeah, well, I couldn't do Sunday there. It's... I had a commitment to... five shows there, but they have to move Thursday because I picked up something else that I'm doing.

What do you do? Here in the city. Special? No. Oh, it'll be a big night. It's good night. But like, I'm opening for somebody somewhere. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, I'm doing that on the Thursday night. You're not going to tell us? I don't know if they'd like to announce who it is. You're gay. Why? I was just giving hints. Why are you gay? I don't know.

Look at a mirror. Really? Do I read gay? Stop. Stop. Stop that. Bear, bear. Bobby, stop that.

I almost bought your gift yesterday. Why? I went to the Chelsea. Why? What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't want anything from you. Why are you? I know you're in a big Patriots fan.

He's such a bad mood. Loosin up, dude. It's over. You can let go. I'm fine. I'm the one who has to worry every Sunday now. I'm the one who has to have all that pressure on me. You don't have.

have any pressure on Sundays. There's no pressure on you. There's a lot of pressure, dude. There's no pressure. Buddy, if I'm not watching the game, they won't win. Bobby, I think because of the jersey colors, you didn't know which team you're rooting for the second half of the game, Max told me. Max calls you. Yeah. What? Yeah, he calls me FaceTimes

me so he could see him roll his eyes at you. Buddy, you just don't like that. I'm a fan fan's fan. No one knows what that means. People out there right now are going, hey, oh my God, I never knew what to call it, but why know? There's only one person reacting in his T-shirt, Kevin, making a fans fan shirt. It's the only person in the world reacting right now. I wish you'd make me a Patriot shirt so this one doesn't suck. This is the worst Patriots shirt I've ever

fucking own. Facebook shirts. I don't know. Dude, every gift I got. I got them for the whole family. What a maniac's move. It is. It is. I got addicted to buying stuff on Facebook. Why? Go to the NFL shop. You want an NFL hood. You go to the NFL pro shop. They don't have the rubber stamp. This is a rubber stamp. It's not though. It's a sticker. It's a sticker. Lou, what are you? You could take a those stickers off and gave me a regular hoodie. Lou said I'm like Spider-Man when I found out my powers and made my own outfit first.

This is it? Yes. You're right. The 1970s version. Yeah. This is going to come off after one wash. For sure. So many nice options. Yeah. Try to find the Facebook Facebook Patreon. With the old thing on it?

I love the old one. The old one's the best. That one's the best. Oh, you can get it in blue. Look it in blue. Let's see what that looks like. No, that's just a different. That's a new logo. What? Oh. You sure? It was right next to it. Yeah. What are you talking about? Why defer to so many people who don't know more to me about things? I don't know why you... I don't know. I was trying to jump on your bandwagon, but then

Christine looked at me angry and I turned away. I got chicken out. She scares me. I love the old logo. The old logo is the shit. Yeah. Love it. A white guy, a white thin guy hiking a ball? Patriot. A patriot. An actual patriot. Look at that. One for the girls. Oh, that red one. That red one's great. Oh, look at the one that's distressed. The distressed logo you have on now. Looks so much better than the one you're wearing.

Actually, mine looks distressed and it's brand new. No, it looks stressed. It's stressed, definitely. It's stressed. That sticker is being stressed. The folds that are going to end up in that are going to be so funny. Look at that. It has a Nike swoosh.

I can't be wearing a fake Nike shirt. Buddy, I wore it for you. Why? Because it's the only Patriots thing I have. But I did get the hat. You don't have a jersey? That hat looks, no, I don't have a jersey. What?

Yeah, I'm not a jersey guy, dude. But just wanting to watch the game. Look at that one. That's great. What is that? Is that risen? That looks risen. Bobby, why do you want unwashable shirts?

I want a risen. Stop acting like you're a black guy in 2001. Dude, nobody needs risen shit. I like risen stuff. Remember that black glue? A bunch of rubber shirts. A rock-o-wear logo and rubber that you can never wash. I like a risen.

Why are you mad that I like something that you don't like? Why are you going to force me into your... Buy it. Wash it, and then I'm... I'm gonna laugh at you when your rubber starts coming off. So what? That's so cool. I like those.

What that? Jersey hoodie? No. No. That. Oh, that's nice, yeah. It's dope, but. That's dope.

That's a hoodie. Yeah. I like that. It is a hoodie. Oh, look at that. I get Mac. Mm-hmm. It's nice.

You get who? Mac. Who Mac? They call him Mac. Drake May. Number 10. He's the quarterback. He's the MVP of the league.

Anyways. Yeah, I fucked up. But it's all I had, so I had to wear it today. It's pretty hilarious. It's... I do appreciate it. It is pretty hilarious. It's, uh, when I put it on to, it was very tight.

It's supposed to be an XL. It's not. It's a Chinese XL. You were happy they lost yesterday the Eagles because you're mad at me. I'm not mad of you. I've never been mad at you. No, this weekend you were pretty mad at me. I called you and you were pretty pissed off.

You were like... It's not mad, Jay. You were pretty irate. It's frustration with you because I know you have it in you. I called you tell you something fun. Yeah. And you fucking, you got very upset with me. Because you have it in you and you refuse to let it out.

I can't. I can't do it. Bobby wants me to, oh, I didn't bring the piece of paper in. I will tomorrow. Oh, wait. Maybe I have it. In your purse? It might be in my MERS.

Yeah, I'm not gay. We're all gay. No, it's not my purse. It's not my purse. We're all gay. It's not my purse. I hope I have it at home. But.

I called you after I woke up in the morning to, what sounded like a protest happening outside of my hotel? And I looked at the window and I saw there was a process going outside. And why I couldn't understand what they were yelling into the bullhorn. Was because by the signs that are being held up that are in English, but also Asian? It was some kind of Asian wording, lettering or characters. Where's Paco when we need them?

Where is pocket woman either? Tell us what this house next to another house means. And I go, so I was like, oh, I should go see what this is. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette. Right. I go downstairs to smoke a cigarette and I go, okay, this is a crazy protest happening and then I see what it's about. What is it?

They come over and they hand me one of the pieces of paper, which is telling me this is a protest for, it's essentially Asian massage handjob girls who are going, what are you going to deport? Hey, Ice, don't deport us. We're sex slaves. We're here whacking off dude.

You're going to send us away? Like, fuck that. And I go, oh, this is funny. I have the paperwork. I have the thing. So I go, let me start filming. Not for the show. Not for the audience.

Not for myself. For you. For me. I wanted to film it for you. Yeah. And you know, I've explained to you my fear with doing this with public confrontations.

is that I'm going to pull my phone out. Two people are fighting on the street. Fifteen people have their phones out filming the person. I'm like, when I pull my phone out, someone's going to be like, dude, really? Or just some kind of judgment of it. Or exactly, the people that are fighting are going to be like, do you fucking filming us fighting, you know,

they both turn on me in some way? Yeah, what was your fear with a middle-aged age woman who jerked people off? Getting hand jobs? I don't know what my fears. They're going to just jerk you off? No, I don't. Are you famous?

I juck you off. I'm making you calm right now, big boy. I should see if I have it and send Christine the video I took because I did. It sucks. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, it fucking.

What could you possibly be afraid of with a gaggle of women who jerk people off? What would be the fear? I filmed for five minutes. Oh, God. But nothing. But maybe it's good. Maybe you're cutting you. Maybe it's good. Maybe you got some good.

I'm just here to Christine. Some good context. I didn't because I'll tell you what happened pretty quick. And most of it's just me filming the floor. Because... You suck. Before... Before I called Bobby.

...before I called Bobby. Videos too long. What? What do I got to do? Send it to Google Drive. We gotta get you a pair of meta-glasses. I don't know what Google Drive is. Yes, Bobby.

I'm gonna get your... email it. That's an excellent idea. We get you a pair of metadlasses, right? You put those on. They don't even know you're filming. You're just looking at them. That's it.

That's the solution. Put your glasses on. You walk over. You're filming. They don't even know that you're filming. And you're getting everything. I don't know. Come on, dude.

Copy air. Oh, can I air? Airplay? What do I do? Can you take his phone away? from him, please? You can't. Can I show you? I'm going to fucking, no, I got

this. Oh my God, you're in such a bad mood today. Snapping on everybody. I got it. I'm going to mail it. Questioning my fanhood. It's probably what? It's probably too big to mail. To mail? Yeah, it'll take too long to come through and it might not come through. That's what she said. Well, here's the thing. It's a video of nothing. Because

I start filming right away, and I go, here I go, and I hold the phone up like this and then I go and then a guy comes over and simply says he goes hey we're just asking anyone who's filming if they can go over there I was like I'm not even and I just like

and then I just had my phone down like this I guess for five minutes and then realized I was still going and then turned it off like I was getting in trouble for that 50 people were filming so I go all right well I got to do something now do you know these protests want you to film them right they want the publicity

they want They want you to film them and put it out there. Is that what they want? That's what they want. You think that's true? Yeah, all protests want that shit out there. What a gaggle of pigs. Oh, come on now.

We'll never know. What was the, did they look cute, these handy girls? I don't know. I wasn't looking, so I panic. And I go, I go call. I would have looked immediately. Do you understand how great this would have been? This is the greatest protest.

ever had. This would have went viral, a handjob protest. I don't know. People would have got behind it. We could have saved these young ladies. I call Bobby. We could have probably bought a couple of them.

I don't know why he's dismissing your idea also. I think it's fantastic. I FaceTime Bobby because I'm not wearing goofy meta-glasses. They're the same glasses as you're wearing now. No, Jay, four undercover work only. Keep them with you for undercover work. Undercover work, Jay.

That really got them. Just for the protest, you put them on. He under, when you're under cover work happens, you put them on. When you have to go on to cover, you put them on. That's it. People won't see your eyes. They don't know where you're looking. And you just say, you don't have to push a button.

You just go, hey, meta, record video. And it just does it. Three minute videos. When the op is over, you go back to your civilian life. Isn't there a little light on your, is there a little light on it? There's a light on it, but there's a thing you can, well, someone's going to come over and say, like, dude, take a glass off. I'm going to go, yeah, are these, do these records?

Problem solved. There's a little thing they may. made that goes over that that blocks it it's a little black dog what purve site did you learn that on um it's not a perv side it's just pervin can you let bobby be q here just your bond he's cue let him let him equip you um we get you a pair of metaglasses we didn't even tell what happened yet well we're just trying to play along that's all huh you can just talk if you want i'll just sit here go ahead sorry you just pitch metaglats me for five minutes i I haven't told you what happened yet.

We, okay. You know what happened because you were on the other end of the phone. You're right. I FaceTime Bobby. Go ahead. I inform him what's going on. Yes.

I go, there's this thing going on there. They're going, and I go, they just kind of walked away. They just, they go, all right, now we're going to march. And they kind of marched off. And Bobby goes, I still hear them. I go, yeah, I don't know. I think they're just doing like a little loop and coming right back, like in a minute.

And he goes, what is? I tell him everything it is. He goes, dude, he goes, film it. Film right now. I go, I try. they got weird with me. He was interview somebody. So interview somebody.

As I look over, there's people interviewing people. Other people with just their phones out and like a, like they're a little, you know, AirPods in just going like, uh-huh, and what's going on? And this is what's all about that. He's like, interview someone. I was like, I said they're not doing that. I just said words. I go, they're not doing that.

He was like, huh? And then it goes, and then I go, oh, and then I film, they're coming back. And they set up shop right there again. And he's like, no, he's like, I'm not. with an important comedy camp meeting for this you never face-time me I was literally in the middle of a edit meeting to talk about comedy camp with three of the producers he called me three times and I in my brain I went he's never called me three times in a row something's wrong he needs me and I literally go I got to call you guys right back hang up and then he's he tells me what's going on

And then I see the protest. I go, go in it, walk into it. He goes, no. I go, Jay, walk into them, talk to them. Go be part of this protest. Whatever they're chanting, chant with them. Just chant it. He's like, no, he won't do it.

And he keeps putting the camera down. I'm like, put the camera back up. And he's not listening to me. You panicked. I panicked. You panicked. You panicked. You could have walked.

in, here's the thing. You could have walked in the middle of that crowd. Whatever they were chanting. What were they chanting? I don't know. I don't know if it was just like hilarious English with their silly accents or if it was, I'm worthless. You guys should switch over to Rawled Dog Comedy where Rory Scovel's doing his

Waffle House routine. Just keep an eye on the other stations. Let you know what's going on. Do you understand how epic it would have been? How do you, this is what doesn't make sense to me about you. You can go on stage in front of as many people up after anybody. You can do crowd work in front of 20,000 people.

It doesn't matter. You can go on Legion of Skanks. They know what they're there for. Yeah, but why can't you just inside of you? I know an influencer lives. It's the same reason we can't be friends with Corey Feldman and all these things. I can't stop doing the thing. So I'm going to, I want to be funny with it.

I don't want to just straight interview them. I think that's weird to make it. No, no, right. So I'm saying, no, but that's what you kind of do. You straight interview them, and then you laugh at it later. I get the idea of that. I feel bad about doing that. So I only want to do funny shit.

So, and I'm like, well, they're doing, like, a real protest. So I'm over here going, like, and this is all about hand jobs or, you know, whatever shit. And they're going to be like, you know, what now? You know, whatever it is. So it's like, I'm seeing down the road that people who are, like, upset with me at a place that I just kind of like, I like to sit on the wall. You know what I mean? It's funny. I was talking to Bert Kreischer last week on the phone for a minute.

Name dropper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The machine? And you guys familiar with the machine? Free Bert, premiering? Premiering, I think, this week. But I was telling him something I was like, I go, dude, I want to see if you would cry at this thing that made me, makes me sad, this dance. I go, it's an SNL performance by Seah.

He goes, I know Sia. I know you know see you, dude. You're the machine. You go into a party and take you. take your shirt off and draw 10 years of it. I stand against the wall and hope no one talks to me. I know. I'm just asking you if you did this.

I know, see, of course you knew, dude. You've probably been in a building where she was at, and you made sure she knew you. I don't live my life like that. No, that's a dick thing to say. I wish I live my life like that. I don't. I do not live out loud.

Exactly. Burke Reischer would have had a shirt off. He would have had three of the handjob girls in the tour bus drinking, doing shots with them. I'm just like, let me leave me. be they're going through something but there there's a middle ground is what you're not seeing there's you and there's bert there's somewhere in the middle i don't know i don't had there's no middle ground because what i want to do for the sake of funny it's just become you're now you're shitty

how do you know that you're a shitty person how do you know they don't have a great sense of humor how do you know the girls because they woke up in the morning to protest don't send his home or handjob bitches that's the fucking greatest thing ever if you went in there like if you just were in the middle of them spinning around, catching their signs, just being like, you know, I'm behind you guys, I'm with you. Right.

When I'm with somebody who does that, I hate that. When they go, oh, dude, I'm going to come right back. Yeah, like, let them jerk or whatever the fuck they start their chance that they're serious about. And then someone jumps in there, like, they're, like, the person you're with joking,

but like they're doing it with them. I'm like, oh, you're being a dick to those. I don't know why. I don't know why it just hits me like that. I'm like, ah, dude. It's funny if you went in, I'm an empath. Is that what they call that?

No. I was called a fucking coward. Maybe. Maybe also. You should have just, you had me on the phone, though. I could have done the, maybe I think I was trying. I think I, you know what I did when you were recording because I am an influencer? You am?

I screen captured your video. Did you? Yes, I did. Wow. That's pretty impressive. I screen captured your video. What day was? Was it? Oh, here it is. I got it right here.

Okay. But there's no sound. I'll send it to you. His video, oh my God, you're so nervous. It's all these women, and you keep, oh, my God. And it just goes right to the ground. It goes right to your feet. It's literally a perfect video of all the people, and you can almost just about read the signs,

and then it just goes to him walking away, running away. So what, dude? Whatever, dude. We could have had a great video. Hey, I'm sending it to the thing, Christine. You got it. Yeah, well, some people got it and some people don't, Jay. I don't know what that means.

That means you don't got it. You don't mean that. Yeah, I do mean that. Now. You don't, dude, watch the video. It's kind of humiliating. It's just the ground. Nope, not at all.

It's the ground, and then that's it. It's your feet, nice shoes, by the way. Those are cool sneakers. Those Nike's wearing shorts outside. Was it called? it's all your feet it's just jay's feet the video yeah i kept putting it down it's your feet and then you show me

your pink fingernails it looked like it's a girl hand for a second so you have such pretty hands and then it says oh here it is it's not no dude you have the whole fucking thing wrong it's not about saving the women who are jerking people off it's it's for to keep them there

to let people jerk off so they can jerk off more yeah it's they're human trafficking they're trying to stop the massage places Correct. They want to save the women. They want to end the massage places. Indeed.

Yeah. I'm airdropping this to Lou. To Black Lou. It says like an airdrop to him. It says human trafficking summit. Human trafficking is harmful. Accept it, dude. Yeah.

I just got it. You got it from me? Yeah. You got it from Bobby or me? I got from both of you. No, I bet you did. That's what you want. She wants to get it.

We should get it at Skagfest. Give her the full bonfire. Yeah, dude. It's all right. What are you going to do? It was frustrating, though. I know. It was very frustrating for me.

When you hung up, you were frustrated with me. Well, because you were six feet away from walking in the middle of all these people or walking up to them. And you didn't have to say anything. It's just hold your camera up. And that's what they want. But when I held it up, though, he said, go over there if you're going to film. And I freaked out.

You know your camera has Zoom, right? Huh? You have Zoom. Does it? Yeah, it has, yeah, you could literally be across the street and zoom in. How do you do? Is that an extra lens you have to buy? No, you're actually, yeah, you just pinch your hand, three little fingers.

You just pinch your fingers and it zooms. Do you know that? My big monster hand zoom too much. I can't zoom a little. I zoom too much. And then it's just all pixelated fucking Chinese people. Hand job queens. First of all, there was no Chinese people.

There was like mostly white chicks in there. There was a lot of Asian people with those Asian signs up. Did you get it? It's uploading. Oh, God, here we go. Yeah, that would have been a great video. Can I be honest with you, though, the fight thing, I agree with you. The fighting thing, I actually saw a homeless lady and getting kicked out of a store by two police,

and she came out and said it freaking out when I was getting out of therapy last Tuesday, and I started videotaping, and then she just turned and looked at me, and I immediately just put my phone down. And I ran across the street, and I tried to videotape, and then the cops looked at me, and I put my phone down. That is intimidating. You know, but a protest wants you to videotape them. They want the publicity.

They want people to hold their phones up and show them what they're doing. They're out there to, why would they do it? They're screaming and yelling into a megaphone. But they want people to come up there and be like, this is really something what you guys are doing. Or come up there and be like, no, this is bullshit and blah, blah, blah. They don't want some fucking fetidia being in there and being like, who gives the best handjob out of the crew? That's all I have. That's all I have.

I don't care about their cause Is this mine? Yeah This is me This I had to cut about a minute at the end of this off But don't worry It's just more of the same This is in front of your hotel

What do I say in the beginning? Turn it up, crank it up to 10 Ripped the knob off Here they go I'm filming Oh, that lady looks right at You put your fight She looked at you

Yeah so I go Okay, wait I'm okay I'm okay Shadows And then More people walking near me So I panic camera goes down

camera goes back up back up now I'm going now I'm like I got this they hand me the paper maybe he's whispering it but I think he's saying to me I wonder if you could hear him say to me if you could just go over there

and I went oh I even film why do they publicize that there is yeah here is he's saying to me right now they're asking people are going to film if you could just go over here and I just, I never hold the camera up again.

In the most polite way I've ever heard anybody ask, hey man, if you're saying... By the way, I went where he said and didn't film. I was like, I'm not, what? Is it here? I freak out, man. Where was this? I mean, it's so funny that he, like, was like,

hey, you can film. You just need to do it from, you know, three feet this way. And you're like, ah! I'm not even. I'm not even. He's looking at my camera going. I'm like, I'm not, what? I'm not getting I just got caught

like looking at it in like a children's bathroom or something my behavior is that of like someone who's red-handed on something so many everyone was filming I panicked yeah you're shadows for the rest of the yeah you get that bench is nice though yeah I went back there and then I was like I go they don't want me to really film at all I don't think

once in a while I go up to show you that other people are filming though these protests are the worst asses ever Oh, my God. Just a bunch of dumpy jeans. That's why they keep you all. That always keep you in front with the hand, handwork. You never look at their asses. Look at that.

All the floor. All gutter. We just get gutter. What town is this? Tacoma, Washington. Oh, great streets. Nice streets. Streets are clean.

Look at that gutters. Very nice streets. It's beautiful. It was a beautiful gutter. Do you got mine? Mine was, I was like, just go in to the crowd. He's so mad at me. Walk in the crowd, Jay.

Walk with them. Walk with them. I'm like, I don't know, what? Walk with them. Is that a crazy to me? What, just go in the crowd? They would have been hilarious if you just went and did a little spin. And they would have been like, who's this?

I just can't be the asshole. I'm not good at being the asshole. You would have been a fun guy. They would have been like, oh, thanks for doing that. I don't like making a big thing with like, I don't know, just anything. When we do stuff like fully loaded, stuff like that, like someone's going to come show us how to roll cigars or like, a day like that, right?

And we're going through and you see throughout the room the people, you know, it's all the comics just sitting in this kind of boardroom thing. And as a person's joking, now everyone you've got to take the leaf and kind of do that,

and someone, you know, fill in the blank, any comic, it just goes like, oh, this reminds me of a blah, and I'm just like, I'm just never me. I'm just not going to be the person who does that.

I'm like, I'm all right. Like, I'll say to the person next, whoever's next to me, I'll go, hey, right, and make them laugh, but I don't have like the... Can we, is there a chorus we can put you in,

like an influencer course. Yeah, I think it's called P Didy's Flavor Camp. I think they're accepting applications again. This is mine right here. This is, I screen grabbed, there's no sound. It's just, I wish it, because the screen grab doesn't get the sound. Because you're screaming at me. I'm screaming at you right now.

Because you're right there. You're so close. There was a wheelchair person. Don't you want to know what they thought of all this? Oh, my God. I don't even film them that much. Look at all the signs. I just wanted to read.

I was like, oh, wheelchair person, embarrassing. So I put the camera down again. Look at it. He's walking with the committee. Gutter. Back again. I'm yelling at you again now. Boston Scali. What the fuck is that?

That's a video. Facebook. You follow the Boston Scali Cap Company? Yeah, I love them. This is where this hat's from. Did they notify you for an ad? Hey, we have a new video for Scali Cap? Yeah, dude.

I followed them. Don't. I followed them on the thing, and it sends me... It sends me... Scalli Cap videos? When they put stuff up. Like, I don't have. how to take off the...

Dawn, the new Scali Cap vids out. The, what do you call it? The, what's it? Notification. Wait, pause it. I showed you the thing, Bobby. Yeah. The paper.

Yeah, I just read this. Right there. Freezing that and zoom in. This is not about saving them. It's about saving them from jerking people off. I thought it was about saving them. I think it's about don't deport them.

No, this is about their human trafficking. No, no, but I think there's a ice thing in there. But I think it's saying like, you're deporting us when you should. actually be saving us from jerking off guys. We'll never know because your fucking investigation skills stink. I don't understand how it works. It's impossible.

Right there, right there. It's like part blurred. It says... Blurred. I think I have it at home. Human trafficking. Yeah. Which all these women are.

Apparently, all the handjob places are trafficked. I like if you've gone 700 times and now he goes, you know what turns out? I don't think they're into it. I found that out. The third time I went and a door opened and they were all sleeping on floor mattresses. That's cultural. I don't think I went back. I don't think I've gone back since that.

That was jarring. Me neither, dude. It was. It was playing in the lobby, his half hour special. And then a door opened, and it was just a bunch of girls and dresses laying on floor mattresses all over this room. With Todd Barry special on, they'll board them and the dick would go down. When I first got to meet Todd Barry, I remember telling that right away. You know, it's funny, dude, I watched your half hour special in a whorehouse lobby. Yeah, that's where I actually promote most of my stuff. That's where my fan base goes.

That'd be a great way to promote your special. Straight horsehouse lobbies? That's all my fan base. Hell yeah, dude. Middle-aged guys, just bald, gray beards. Oh, dude, on the fucking, on the urinal pucks in the men's room of a whole house. Poor house. Yeah.

On the table shower. Dude, after you've just been jacked off by a fucking a sex traffic slave, and then you go, it goes, man, you feel bad about yourself and you go, oh, maybe this will make me laugh. Put a little iPad through the hole on the massage bed while you're getting your asshole tickled. Maybe a fucking an advertisement on the urinal puck, but the urinal puck also has a QR code. Yeah, there you go. So you could film your piss puddle and find out and then get sent a direct link to Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kelly's new special. Bobby Kelly's new special, you're so crazy.

You should just call your next special. The name of a special that already exists. Bobby Kelly Delirious. What is Chappelle's new special? I'm the best. No, no, no, it's not called that. I'm the greatest. Are you trying to lead me into saying it?

Because I can't say it. It's called The Unstoppable N-word project or something. The Unstoppable N-word act. Act, the unstoppable N-word Act. They just call it the unstoppable dot, dot, dot, dot on the show. But, yeah, that's what it's called. The unstoppable N-word Act. N-word

Hard R Yeah Hard R Hard R with some people Hard R&R Hard R Depending on who he's around Now you really stopped

Going to these places After you walked in And saw the Them sleeping That bugged you? The whole thing You know what's funny? Yes

That started to bug me more And then I remember My ex-wife Got an argument with me About because I was arguing My street prostitution Like people go on the street Prostitutes

It's like Whatever Those girls want money For drugs I get it's like no she's kind of gave me the other side of two it's like yeah you're just like exploiting them though you know I mean it's like you're giving them five dollars to it's like it's just like a horrible like you're being shitty to them too what the fuck is that skid row yeah skid row I think head in the 1820s no we used to drive when we lived in a

story we would drive back you dick suck with donk holiday I think it was the end of this being a thing I think it was the end of it being a thing possibly but still in a story when I first moved there and I guess 2001 or two um if you drive around the plazer Queensbridge Plaza there They were still like in those back streets Where it's all like auto body shops and stuff There were still streetwalking prostitutes For five bucks?

I don't know I didn't get one But I mean like I was arguing though That was different than the massage parlors Are fucked up and they were like No this is fucked up too Like they're not sex slaves obviously

But it's like you're fucking Man woman's body Her choice Yeah yeah yeah But it's just like the whole process If you're willing to fuck someone Who's got like an ashy snatch Then you should like

Oh Ugh You should be regulated and you should be able to get somebody without an ashy snatch. But I think that the massage place is better than a whore on the street, don't you think? I think it's very similar. Because they're just giving you a really good back rub and then they're going to do the evolution of a massage. Well, you, the hand job play, the places we went were, I think they call them hand job play, but you could fuck in every one of those places, I think. Yeah, if you negotiated.

this place what the place we went wasn't even a negotiation is this we were paying for immediately you're going i mean the rub the thing but it wasn't like a handjob place i only went to like one place of like the three times are man i made it like five times total i heard they're all hand job places now they don't fuck anymore oh that might be true that's what i heard that's very possibly true they don't they don't they don't fuck anybody about and no else i heard from um my cigar lounge underneath is a massage place yeah uh above the rent of the cigar place and i talked to a friend of mine who's a cop and a cop detective and I was like this right downstairs he goes yeah don't go I'm like why he goes if you're gonna go I'll let you know and you can go but don't go now the FBI is uh they're cameras in there and everything I was like what fucking Bob craft over here apparently they the they the FBI is involved in all those things and oh I'm sure a lot of them it would be fine to I'll see security camera of I'll go getting ready to blow you and then you flipping backwards over the massage chair you're just me holding my leg back and she's going I don't have penis like the weightlifting like the weightlifting

video every time you lay down you fall backwards over something oh gee oh Jesus then an Indian guy comes in he goes oh you're okay and you go all good um this video Lou found on TikTok he thinks it's your protest not his video massage parlor workers advocating for inclusion at the Washington human trafficking sign look at this fantastic video from an influencer this is probably definitely it oh it's great look at it you can see the signs. Oh, that's totally. That's my hotel. Yeah. That's it. Support, what does it say? Workers' rights. Safety means workers' rights.

Not ICE. See? I told you. Ice. I'm for this, by the way. Yeah, let them give them insurance if you're going to have them whacking people off. Where am I? Hiding. I'm cowering in a corner somewhere. Be funny. If you're

in this video just cowering in the background, does it move your phone down? I think there's a chance of my fast food trash might be next to the trash can out there. I hate when they have to chant. Migrants, unite. Remember we got caught on that, Macy's protest?

Unite. That's it? That's it. What a shitty protester. Me love you long time. Me so home. Buddy, if you could have $5 sucky-sucky.

If you could have just played that on your phone. That would have been hilarious. I don't know how to do it. If me and you were there, I could have played. Miso Hornet, you could have videotaped me running through? That's what I mean. That's what, to me, what's funny about that is if I want to, if you're like, you could snap your fingers and the funniest thing happens, it's me so horny playing on a boom box

while those girls are talking about not getting deported so they can give hand jobs. They want better situations for that. And playing me is so funny. But in my mind, the people that are like, I'm just too, like, sensitive to that. but people like for the bunch of people later that are going to laugh at that I can't sacrifice the 50 people there going like dude really what's who's why are you being an asshole dude they're doing it and I'm like yeah no I know I am being an asshole this is not my deal I didn't set this up you could have but you there's a middle ground you need to find it's it falls in line to the same people remember that guy boonk gang we used to watch remember the guy back in the day it's same thing it's like it falls in I know it's not as harsh or as shitty

doing that stuff but to me it falls and that was a guy who's the guy who's the guy who's the guy I used to go around Times Square to like the people would have like their little tense you know the little situation set up with like paintings or whatever little trinkets and little monuments from New York and he would go like kick those over and smash him up and like laugh and film up

but it's all it's to me but it's all born to the same thing fucking with the unsuspected for like this thing yeah but that's terrible if you walked in and just got a little video of somebody is this for jerking off or not jerking off right that would have been hilarious

but I feel like when they go If the person who I do that to, I'm picking on the, let's say it's a 5% chance they're going to go, dude, really? And I'm going to go, what? No, I'm, like, it's a real question. What if you walked in and went, hey, how late you guys open to? Do you guys do table showers? Bobby.

These are all killer questions. I'm telling you, I don't have the ability to do. Can I just do a half hour but get the full hour experience? Do you guys do two hours just legs, wink? You got to know your limitations, dude We got to get your ray bands, dude If I went to a massage place, I'd rather get whacked off than a massage.

I'll tell you that. I don't like massages. I don't necessarily love getting whacked off, I don't think, but I would take that over. I love the massage. When I used to go, I loved the whole massage, and then it leads into the thing, and then it's like, oh,

no one's good at massages and wax you off. Those things don't exist. That's not true. I think it is true. No, it's not true. these sex traffic people are really good at massage right but you've only gone to slaves you've never gone to like an actual massage no i've got i actually went to a regular massage place it didn't whack you off and it wasn't as good because i told i they weren't a slave no i did i do into a regular place

and then i i went to her once you can't get hard if someone's making a fair wage she yeah that's is that true with everybody i mean that's true with successful people correct it's true at lewis Listen, I went to this place and it was legit, they didn't whack you off. And it was right around from the cellar. Right now, I think it's a bubble tea place. But it was a little place and I went in there. And there was like other women, you know, tourists in there. And I was so frustrated with her because I thought it was.

And I had this little thing. Like this seems like, but they were open late too, which is like most massage places closed at seven. They were up until like 11. So a sudden go down, penis come out. Gross. And then I remember I went in there and I said, I go, two hours, just my legs. And by an hour and 10, she, she, she grabbed my hand and put it on my own penis. Did she really?

Yeah. She goes, you go, you go. I wore her out, dude. She jerked you off. She was just like, I'm too tired. She did jerk you off. She took my hand. But she was jerking you off first and then was like, now you take over?

No, she took my hand and put it on my penis. She never touched your dick. All of my hand. Over your hand. Yeah. She, like, used my hand to do it. Because she was not a handjob lady. She wasn't supposed to do it.

I don't think it was a hand job place. I think it was just one of those massage places, massage foot. You remember that place right next to this out right around the corner from Ben's? No, but I will say, I think you sexually assaulted a lady. Well, actually, she sexually assaulted me if you want to get taxed. Technically, you sexually assaulted you. Well, she made me sexually assault myself. She raped me.

But the fact that she had you jerk off with your wiener out at all when it was a place that doesn't do jerk off. Yeah, that was weird. That's weird. That's weird. Yeah, in court, I'd be like, I didn't even, I went there for a massage. That's why I was just lagging. She made me jerk myself off.

That was a good flip. That was a good flip-flop. I didn't see that coming. I like it. I just, I think it's weird, too, because horrors or prostitutes don't need pimps. anymore because of the internet. No, but they still get sucked. They're, for the most part, stupid uneducated

people. You're running the male prostitute for the most part. So they're easy, especially the level that would be like in pimp and stuff like that. It's always, they're just dumb. I talk to them into it. Lewis is our pimp. Yeah, he's got, where his bitches.

He thinks were his bitches. You're his bottom bitch, by the way. At least you're his bottom bitch. I get to live in the big house. Yeah, you get to live with him. I have to be on the street all the time. I get 30% of my money. Yeah.

When he takes me to a chalet and puts a necklace around my neck, tells me I've earned it. I had a good year. Yeah, you're a hot whore. I'm a fat whore. I don't make him enough money. It's, yeah, I remember when I used to come to New York, all the 43rd Street over by the bus station

and all the peep shows. You couldn't even get down the street late at night on Friday and Saturday because it was all streetwalkers. You couldn't get down the street? No, it was you were, who was that? That's not me. Toll free call. Sam.

Answer it, answer it. I can't. It'll keep happening. I'll tell you who it is. It's an underwriting person who's told me that my loan for $64,000 has been approved. I know because I get eight of them a day. Is that solar? I get solar.

Never asked for a $64,000 loan in my life, but I'm always approved for it. I have somebody calling me all the time trying to buy my New Hampshire land and tiny homeland. Really? Yeah, they think all the time. They're like, hey, we're just interested in buying it. I was like, dude, I'm not, I just got it. Fucking selling it. Leave me alone.

But sometimes I'd be like, all right, dude, call me back. I did that for a while. Just call me back on Wednesday. I'll be free Wednesday. And then they call me Wednesday. Like, dude, in a meeting right now, you got to call me back on like Friday or something. And they just keep calling you back. Yeah.

Because it's cold and they keep calling you. And then finally it's like, dude, I'm. I can't do it. I'm sorry. He's like, all right, bye. Yeah, if I went through my voice mails, it's almost exclusively, if you read them,

it's like, hey, I'm filling the girl or guy's name. It changes every time. Calling from underwriting services. $64,000 loan's been approved. Great news. So we should talk further about whatever. I didn't apply for any of these things. It's crazy that you just get a $65,000 loan if you want,

to know. The whole thing's definitely just to get my email or something. I don't think there's $64,000 there, Bobby. Try to get it. Try to get it and let's divvy a little. out in the room. Brody Stevens doing a strong finish bit over on Rawl Dog right now also. It's a little depressing.

Why don't you get that loan and get some hoas? Have you ever paid for a hooker? Yeah, I went to those places. We just talked about. No, but like a whore. Like, go to your hotel room and order one? Oh, just the when I did fucking comic view. As soon as I got to my hotel room.

Treated yourself? Never been to a hotel before by myself in my life. You know, that was comic view, so you had to pay for your own flight out there, put yourself up in a hotel by the airport, and I went in the phone book, Yellow Pages. That's all, you know, the first thing I was like, they sent over this, I remember I had $200 cash again, like all of my money. This is the same weekend I ended up at my uncle's house getting bit by a spy. It was a whole ordeal. This comic view was such a big story in my life for, it doesn't even exist. The footage of it doesn't even exist, the show itself.

But, yeah, I got to the hotel, and I called me, sent over this. I mean, this chick was so Atlanta. I mean, a fat, booty, big mama came over and just, like, yeah, we fucked in the hotel room in 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and she just left. Very unceremonious, and I was like, did it. Wait, isn't there the Trinidad story where you were like, are you the girl? I got robbed. Yeah. That was getting robbed.

That wasn't getting a prostitute. You got robbed in Trinidad? Yeah. And then me and another comedian. Guys, the story I've told you before, I think, where we got, like, supposed to be sisters showed up to a hotel room. Actually, I guess. And then once with me and Kurt Metzker once.

And then the other one was the other comic. I was up in Niagara Falls, and two sisters came, and I picked the wrong sister. Which one did you get? The one with the dead tooth and freckles? No, the one who wasn't super into it and got her period during. I'm gonna throw up.

You sure it was her period? Yeah, I was. Wasn't a wound? I was. I'm very sure. Because I went, what's that? And then her sister goes, bitch, you're bleeding.

And I was like, oh. She knew. I was just wearing a prom dress and just getting drilled by my friend on the other bed when you're working her over. It was so funny. He took the pro pro.

Look at Jacob's disgusting. He took the pro pro. You know what's funny I thought about last night? He took the pro pro. And I took like her sister who came along. In my mind going like, well, I'm getting the regular person. So it'll be a more regular thing instead of like this pro just like, you know, in my few experiences, it's always been like I found to be very clinical. They're like, all right, I'm here.

Have you come yet? All right. Bye. You know what I mean? It seems very like that. And I was like, uh... She was definitely regular. Every 30 days running your dick.

Yeah. So with that experience being so bad, I remember me and Metzger, two girls came over. We were in Florida a million years ago, and it was almost identical situation. Like, one girl came over, two done up. She's the girl. The person that's coming with me is my friend who doesn't really do this very often, but she comes with me sometimes. And that girl's in sweatpants and a wife beater. Cute.

Very cute. And in fact, more attractive than the pro pro girl. But I, when they showed up, I was like, well, I'm going to jump on the pro pro real quick because it'll be better. You know, I just know from my other experience, this will be better than the girl doesn't know anything. And then the exact opposite. The pro pro was again like, you're done yet, you finished? And then I'll go over to Kurt Metzker, making passionate love with a very attractive woman. I was like, yeah, like, what the fuck, dude?

I make bad choices. They went to Denny's together? Buddy. It's crazy. looked over i was like oh man they're having such great awesome fun passionate sex and this girl's like literally this girl's like checking messages while she's wagging me off they they want to go to moons over my hammy together uh shit dude that was so funny yeah i always pick wrong yeah i always pick wrong and we were young young me and another comic uh a street walking prostitute uh he wanted a blow job from her

So he did I go, all right, if you do it, I'll do it. So she sucked his dick in the back seat. And then I suck his dick. If she does it, I'll do it. What a night. If she goes, I'll go. He, so, but while she's, I'm sitting in the front seat, he came in her mouth. And she had a big Erica Badu fucking thing on her head.

And she goes, I remember just coming up and going, and she goes, and she spits it out the car window and goes, that's extra and then got out and started walking off but I was gonna and I remember just

slowly back in the car but I was like I was gonna go too and she was like fuck you just get walking to like I was like hey

I know you see what's just backing up hey I know you seem like you're in kind of a bad mood but I was gonna go too fuck you you didn't say that but you can't feel

Yeah, I know. Huh? You can't walk up to an angry whore. You can't walk up to these ladies. You gotta give me the right motivation. If you were like, hey, if you go be funny for these Asian prostitutes, they'll all go whack you off.

I'll be like, all right, I'll go be funny for that reason. But if you're just like, just for funny's sake, I'm like, nah, dude, they're gonna think I'm an asshole. You should have went that night to one of those massage spiler places

and he was like, did I see you this afternoon? Were you? Oh, I'm reading the protest. I got this flyer. Is that like any off? Do I get anything off? If you scan the code,

You get 20% off. Buddy, I watched a body cam thing of a, there's a guy. He's a crazy guy who went into a massage parlor like the week prior. Was fine, I guess. Goes in again and they tell him, and they have close captioned, close circuit television of this. He goes in and they're like, oh, you know, sorry, not today. They're all booked up. They're booked.

And he's crazy, so he loses his mind. He goes and gets like a wood stick. and comes in and starts beating the living shit at every chick in this place. Oh, my God. But the funny thing of it was that's not funny, is when they do the, you know, back at the police station. If you put the Benny Hill music over it, it would have been funny. Oh, yeah, very funny.

For sure. Or that song, again, when the Asian guy gets drunk and rides the tricycle and revenge your nerds. Depends on the soundbed underneath. Yeah. I'm sure if you get that video and put the right soundbed. Yeah. Smack.

Wow. Yeah. Where was that in the story? Give me back, Jacob. The guy beat these women then went to the police station. Well, yeah, they ultimately can't. He beats one girl, like, unconscious outside.

It's pretty wild. Seeing it's such a human side of these girls also being like, and having to call the police to spread over there. None of them knew kung fu. Not one. Wow. Not one. It might have been a couple up in the trees that got away.

They may have crouching tigered, but I didn't see it. Not on video. But there was people. There's guys in the rooms. Getting jerked off. Probably. You'd assume because the guy, when they talk to one of the guys who's given just his recounting

the thing and he goes, yeah, he came in all crazy and like hit the girl. And then like, and then he grabbed my wallet. And I was like, hey, man, can I have the wallet back? I'm not going to be a hero. He has to tell the cops that he said that. I'm like, oh, yuck, dude. I wouldn't have did that. It's in that history.

I would have fought the guy. I would have fought and defended all those women and then lived in that place with them as their master. Or if you type in the search CCTV captures. I mean, they're all getting, they've all gotten hand jobs and they have to go to the police and say, I was minding my own business getting whacked off. I was getting whacked off. I didn't come though, so it's not illegal, right? I don't know if I read that somewhere. That is so frightening.

That was like the biggest fear when I used to go to those places is that when the ding-dong and you hear somebody else. coming in that it's going to be some type of fucking nightmare the cops the FBI some guy loses it what are you going to do you can't get interviewed I can't interview I got to run Christine you're going to go to the history

search that on YouTube CCTV captures massage parlor I only want to one in my entire life that's a trap you should go to more you should have a coffee cup at one in Florida I was in Florida you should you should walk in and they go

Jacob and applaud Oh, Jacob here It was a while ago Why don't you go all the time? It was a birthday gift from my friend Buddy, I know what to get you next Christmas We should get him

We got him We got We have to get him Is this the thing here? Is that Billy Burr? That might be the guy No, it's five years ago That's it

No, it's this one It's the catching the brutal tech up there The two weeks ago thing That's somebody doing a reaction to it Okay but it's a they may have a link to the actual thing in the comments there because it's pretty wild what this guy does but I love so much the guy sitting there he's like yeah guy one on my wall he's just going to I'm like I'm not going to be a hero pal I'm weird they can tell the cops I'm not going to try to stop this from happening go ahead hey beat these Asian girls at death I don't give a fuck dude it costs 100 it costs $70 for an hour I only have 120 exactly enough for a hand job 10 Oh, we got to take a break.

Yeah, we got to take a break. Ooh. Be right back. We're hanging out with Paco. Paco's here. The boys are here. One girl. One girl.

Oh, by the way. What's up? Because I know we have to write our own plugs for the other person to read. But again, I don't like fucking write my own stuff. I don't like being out there. So I ask my management. If they could start writing my plugs for me. And I told him, I was like, well, Bobby's agree.

Well, Bobby will read my plugs. Just straight up. Just let people know. He wants to just make sure we focus on the things that are important, like the right gigs that are important and stuff. Because you're not doing it right? I'm probably doing it wrong. So I was like, if you would do me a favor,

if you would just write the plugs for me, I will read it. It would make it easier. And then Bobby will read it. I read his plugs verbatim straight up. Yeah. Make him sound good. That's great.

So he'll put it out. I go, Bobby also is like a guy. He's an actor. So, like, he can put, if you write, if you put on the page, he'll sell it. Buddy, I'm an actor. I'm a hero. I'm a fan fan. I'm a lot.

Fan, fan. I'm a fan's fan. Yeah, you're a fan of that fan. All right. Yeah, let's hit it. Let's go to break. We'll come back. But before we do that,

these plugs have been written by Jay's manager. Well, you don't say that. Okay, sorry. We don't. Listen, I'm an actor. Yeah, you read everything that's on the page. I read everything that's on the page. That's stage direction, though.

And I read it all the time. Yeah. You know what I mean? I have to read it over. After an astonishing run of sold-out shows in Tacoma, Washington, Interbang's 2,025 comedian of the year, Big J. O'Kerson will be bringing his award-winning comedy routine to good nights in Raleigh, North Carolina.

This weekend, there's only a few. tickets left. So, please, please, please, buy them now so you can be one of the few lucky people to ring in MLK Day with Big J. Then the star of the interbangs in Terra Bang, sorry, I felt your eyes. In Terra Bang's best. I wasn't voted so I don't read it. You felt everybody's eyes. Inter, I have the energy in Terabang's

Best Independent Comedy Special of 2025. It's for real. It's for real. He won every award. We'll be headlining the Chicago Improv in Schaumburg. January 23 to the 25th. Want to come Saturday? Too bad. Those shows are sold out

and have been ages ago. There are only, only a few tickets remaining for Friday. This is one of the larger comedy clubs in the country. So that means next time he'll be in an arena. So this is the last time you'll be able to see him in the biggest comedy club in the country. This is your last chance to see Jay in an intimate setting of a comedy club before he makes the leap into arenas. finally January 30th to the 31st

he'll be returning to NIAC New York listen guys you may not know this about Jay but he really loves his manager that's why he's agreed to headline a comedy club named after the company his management works at Levity Live get your tickets now to support Big Jay

and his amazing manager Bobby Kelly's going to be at McCurdy's Comedy Theater in Sarasota, January 16th and 17th. After that, he's going to be at Poughkeepsie, New York, Comedy Works South in Colorado, and Batavia. We're called Batavia, Illinois, depending on who you are. For tickets and all their tour dates, go to punchup.l. Live slash Robert Kelly. Check out his new YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy, where you can get all kinds of Bobby Kelly content.

Woo! Every seven or every Tuesday. Every seventh Tuesday. And every first. second Tuesday also. All the Tuesdays at 7 p.m. He's the Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge at the Comedy Seller. Make sure you check him out there if you find yourself

in the NYC area. Wheel. Yeah, I won nothing. B. Except... Right, my heart. Sunday. My heart? That's not you. You're not on the team. I'm a fan's fan. You don't even have a jersey. I do. You don't. You have a fucking shirt that Chinese fucking gay father made

in a sweatshop. This is supporting massage palo women everywhere when I buy stuff like that. Is it? Yeah, They can work here instead of jerking guys like you and me off. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.