The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Massages and Peyronies (w/ Bobby Kelly, Tim Dillon, Ralph Sutton & Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

Big Jay Oakerson lost a bet to Bobby Kelly and now it’s time to pay up; listen-in as Jay has to give Bobby a sensual deep tissue massage in the studio in front of guest Tim Dillon and the Bonfire crew. Then, Ralph Sutton tells about the time he dated a hot “flat-earther,” followed by The Philadelphia Peyronie’s Disease Testimonial Commercial from comedian Shane Gillis.SUBSCRIBE NOW for the best of The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder and listen every Monday thru Thursday at 6pm Eastern/3pm Pacific on Comedy Central Radio, SiriusXM, channel 95!

Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O'Kristen. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. We got Father Kelly!

This is gonna be a little like a... The Godfather Kelly Bobby knocking over cameras getting in here getting sent you what happened to On Monday you had your cheat night. Did you do Joe's pizza with the Papa John's garlic sauce? Yes, it did. Fuck how was that? It was really good. It was got Papa John's garlic sauce However, I will say me and Christine both had to cork our assholes to come to work However, I will say me and Christine both had to cork our assholes to come to work Because we were just fucking melting Well you get that feeling when you eat the Papa John's coach the next day you feel like you're shitting a little bit all day Yes, that's exactly what it was. I know What do you think I'm guessing here?

It was the garlic sauce. Because Joe's pizza doesn't do that to me. It was the garlic sauce. Yeah, that's the ingredient. That's the C4 for the explosives. I'll tell you what, man, if society went aloud, I would just drink it. It's so good. Garlic sauce?

No one from Papa John's particularly. Bobby, you were so in shape, you were so in shape, like well into me knowing you. When did you, did you even get a chance to turn? No. Oh my God. No, no, no, no. This became fat on fat crime. No, you don't. I mean, we don't listen. I was in a safe space. I came here. I came here. You got to be finished. Most of everybody else is I and not in shape here. You gotta love me, I mean, Jan is your opinion fat. Thank you. I thought, I thought I was in a safe spot.

I said, I'm cold, Haka, I fucking let you in on secret shit. You're in a very safe spot. What I'm saying to you is, I thought, fuck. You weren't like a heavy, I was a very heavy kid too. So I, I, I, Let's hear him back out of this. I ate all this shitty food.

Like did you grow up like really getting to like, go, go fucking nuts on Boston food. I've said, I've said it before, I ate all this shitty food. Like did you grow up like really getting to like, go fucking nuts on Boston food? I've said it before, I'm on my seven the fat. Yeah, right. So I, what I would do is I was in shape, and then I learned that food was a drug, I would get fat, and then I would get in shape again. So I got shredded a bunch of times,

but I would lose it. I never got as big as this. Like this is, this is maybe I might not come home from this. I might, I might, I'm too far out. I think I don't think I can click my heels again. No, you can just keep, I think I'm staying in awe. So keep kicking your legs. Try to fly. Aim towards the beach. I don't know. I've been kicking and they don't kick like they used to. I know, but you gotta keep kicking. I was, I was gone, but big J and Bobby, I'll explain to Tim what happened.

Big J and Bobby bet on the playoff series between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Boston Celtics. Yeah. And of course, J from Philly, Bobby from Boston. Right. If the Celtics lost, Bobby would have to give J a massage. Plus 50. Plus 50.

$50? Yes50 $50 American dollars The sell it beat the Philadelphia 70 six years in five games and so now Jay paid Bobby 50 dollars not yet I have not done that yet. Well, and I did not have that on me right now. I you know what I kind of thought that I prepared for that I forgot all my three all the money for Well, here's what's gonna happen. Jay is gonna give Bobby's sensual Essential massage with a bonfire studio. I'm getting on the tank top. Are you? Wow, you're taking the darkens jersey. Oh, yeah, I can't get the juices from the darkens jersey

Oh, hell yeah, this is not gonna give. Are you gonna give me a slide massage? I was thinking about it, but it's gonna get over my Jesus slide massage. Is that just fucking a one-sided slide massage when the girl or guy puts oil on you and them and they just slide up. Oh, that is so sensual. My heart wants to do that, but we did look into this

and I asked Christine, could I get on top of the table too? Oh, you could. And Christine said, uh, we're not in charge. If I do, there's a shot, it's going down. Which would be the funniest thing in the world. We need the directions. Yeah. And it said, it said 350.

I'm pushing that right now. No, it said, it said force something. Well, either way, it's not happening. No, that is, that is definitely not happening. You guys are like a tag team in the WWE when they say they're combined weight. That's going to be a tough match. We have the studio deck out is basically just like a bonfire massage partner. The windows are up the we got some candlelight going.

Let me tell you something. My back, you'll never feel soft to skin. I mean, he's not lying. This is real working. This really looks like this looks like this looks like such low rent gay porn. Real working class massage. This looks like, hey Tim, this looks like of a porn studio. Oh, what happened? Just finished quick. That would be the funniest thing ever if he just jerked off on my back. Oh look at I didn't really a soft skin. Oh, yeah, feel that Yeah, look at mom to get rough Yeah, come on baby. You run this this really this really this really this was like a

Photo themed Gap This is like a Foto themed Get in there right up there now get it up blade. Oh, this is some rust belt homo style. Oh get on my blade, baby We're like right here. Yeah, right up in there. Get that elbow Get that right up there on the other side now really Bobby houses technique. Oh Right now that was a good one right now he's doing a nice he's doing a good amount of pressure Tim how do you feel about this I mean number one I'm trying to hold it together it's very hard I bet this is a

real this is a real prison situation this is like Bobby's the head of the gang in this is number two. This is the Bobby looks like a boss in the Yakuza Jay is proving his loyalty Jay's a mess dealer from Ohio proving his loyalty. Yeah, Jay's is Jay's is Geigen soldier We get that towel down a little bit. Oh Jesus Jesus Geigen soldier. Can we get that towel down a little bit? Oh, yeah, we're going to pull it. Oh, yeah. Come on baby girl, get up in there. You have it. I get I love it, dude. By the way, Dan Timmer's supposed to be

commentating. They're both just puzzled. No idea what to say. I'm just riveting it. Yeah, that's amazing. I'll tell you this, it is captivating watching you just work to shit at the rubber. Right, yeah, that's it right to get the- Oh, yeah. I'm a really solid guy. I'm a very solid guy. Watching you just work to shit at I'm a very solid guy. It's like you're doing a massage on like a Chevy Tom

Any weed you smoke down or the up the city or the indica I guess either one if you Aren't doing something I like it for video games. I never have a bad time. I like it for life. A problem can be like, yeah, like not having music or anything and you just getting your own head of thinking, it will make things worse. One time, actually two times I could think of, was both with the flat earth or I used to date Samantha, where I enjoyed the experience. Yeah. One was with an edible with her near Zeeve

and one was having sex with her in my house. Where it felt like it was just enough, I usually feel from one hit. Yeah, that it's already all right It's too much for me now really feel too out of it I thought you were gonna say the second time was she convinced you the earth was oh no she probably You know what I don't know if that we'd so good But I kind of think she's making it I'd say what this makes a lot of this girl was so doofy and I bet Ralph though I can guarantee a some point Ralph said everyone when she was going for he goes and I bet Ralph though, I can guarantee at some point Ralph said everyone was he was going for,

he goes, oh I'm gonna go shoot that. I mean, I mean, I mean, I think you gave a release, I go, I mean, it's worth looking into. Oh. Okay. Guys, you never think about that, because conspiracy theorists are women, and there's dudes that fucking put up

with their weird goofy conspiracy theory. I'll tell you what, people that believe in horoscopes are women, and guys that wanna fuck women that believe in horoscopes. I don't wanna, like, a lot of people think Sandy hook actually happened and there's a guy going Yeah, she's taking her titties out. You know what not one guy's ever said to me. Oh, you're such a cat She's taking her titties out and she's like I mean because if you really think about it like there's so much to be gained by people thinking in the world's

A circle if it's but it's probably flat. He's like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it's just like it could be flat. I mean, look, I'm not an astronaut. I can't do a real world. I've never been an outer space. Look at that though. Like when you look at this guy. Where is it round? It's not round you go? I was convinced at one point Ralph the elevator was gonna open and Ralph was gonna be in like He was gonna be dressed like a hogworn tree And just with a crystal in the middle of his head he goes she said keeps cancel I told you at one time we went to go see that movie. Well, I think a rival and I'm gonna be a rival

And the big spaceship lands and she turns to me and goes, you know, the real one was a lot bigger. I'm like, god damn it How good was that sex dude? She was great. Yeah, it's so beautiful. I feel like sex from that person is someone that can just let go Yeah, glad do you want to do where it's like I'm like I'm always like Every five seconds during sex I'm'm going, what are you doing, Sodor? Well, here's the thing, you thought, when you'd meet her, you'd think she was just like a dip shit hot chick. And then whenever she got to Yammer and you'd get to,

she wouldn't even have to dig, she'd start telling you, you're like, oh, now I get why you're with Ralph. She's like, oh yeah, I have a kid. I'm like, where's your kid when you're over here? He's like, he isn't live with me. Here you go. Ah, is that state ordered? She's like, oh yeah, I have a kid. I'm like, where's your kid when you're over here? He isn't live with me Is that state ordered? She's like he fell off the edge of the earth I found where the sidewalk ends

And then I hung my son over it dude. I love a chick that just doesn't even blink through a custody question She goes you don't know what me. Yeah, she was not shaken by That's not as low me look at his dad How's he gonna live with me with all this cock-a-m-suck? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not talking about that. I'm just like energy. Somehow it's from her mouth to my penis. That's so funny. That really could convince me of a lot of girl girls. I'm gonna show you the benefits of a gluten diet by sucking your dick. That'll, whoa! Vialis Boy Tinsley is best known for his work

as part of the Dave Matthews band, a trumpeter. I don't know if that's, a trumpeter who used to play in tensley sideband crystal garden has filed a lawsuit claiming that tensley sexually harassed him repeatedly during his time in the group his name was crystal garden of that side band the name of sideband crystal garden

uh... the this guy played the trumpet and got harassed i do that he just wrote a rupture with this horn yeah wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait this horn. Yeah wait wait wait wait wait wait I'm not putting in your mouth. He just wakes up because trumpeter play the morning song Gentleman goggling on my bow frost wind who's the trumpet player says that he fell asleep on a couch in tinsley's home And then tinsley began touching him rubbing his back and legs and putting his feet on his buttocks these fucking and touching him rubbing his back and legs and putting his feet on his buttocks. One of these fucking superhero movie names.

Frostwin. Frostwin, don't you understand? The tinsley is after you. It sounds like Game of Thrones. House of Frostwin understands the tinsley is coming. Boy, tinsley himself said he'd be swinging his dagger. The trumpeter asserts that he pushed tinsley away and he moved to a couch in an upstairs room with a house where he eventually fell asleep he says that he

woke up to discover tinsley masturbating and ejaculating right next to him that's a lot to wake up to with his hand again on his butt oh man if you woke up with a dude's hand on your butt and he was coming you're like this thank you oh my god I did not think I had a good butt but you just made me feel different just the view of that is so funny because what do you think you think it's like right hand on on that guy's laying on his stomach yeah frost winds on his guy I feel like you're doing a cappernick with a knee down jack and a jack in it hand on the butt

cheek oh C.B. I picture you're laying next to him oh you think you're on your back he's on his stomach Doing light as a feather stiff as a board. Yeah, your hand is on your hands on his butt You're doing alien trans though What do you think is if you wake up because what are you doing boy? He's like stealing your soul time travel Melding with you? I think what he was doing was knees, both knees on the ground,

fucking Marty McFly, sliding, sliding, playing the guitar move. Really? Jack and hand up on the butt. Hit. I'll be, I'll be, I'll be honest, you don't come quick, your hand's gonna go numb, man.

You need a lot of endurance to keep your arm like that. Yeah, but that's, even wrestling on a bunch of you. Look at Boy Tinsley's jacked. Cozy to Frost win looks like, so I want to see if he's got a good ass. Oh, if he's got a thickled dover. Oh, what is the fat dude?

Oh, yeah. That would be great to make him feel good. Yeah. Hing and hangin' on him. He puts his hand on my buttocks. And a boss dream. And he's whacking it next to me. He goes, how I wake up?

Oh, this him. Which one? This way you can jack so good, dude. He's a fiddle player. We don't even think about it. So he's got next to me. He goes, I won't go. Oh, this him. Which one? This one, he can jack so good, dude. He's a fiddle player. What do you even think about it? So he's got's born to jack. Wait, which guy is it? All right, that's the guy that's got molested, right?

Who? The hot guy in the middle. Oh, the hot guy in the front or the blonde one? He's like, oh, look at that ass. He goes, oh, I'm gonna touch it when I'm coming. Oh, homeboy, you got a butt for days. Oh, Padonka, Duncan, those cargo khaki pants. Oh, I'm gonna use my fret hand on his butt cheek.

And then I'm gonna use the bow hand for his pecker. He goes, I play with my tip with my left hand. I play with the shaft, is my right. Oh, do you guys wanna read the dirty text, C-Sentom? Yes. Yes. Eventually, Tinsley Cokeokes Frost went back into a conversation by saying he had mixed up some pills and was messed up.

According to Frostwin, Tinsley said, the way you looked while you were sleeping, I couldn't control myself. You know what I'm saying? These pills are making me gay. You know what the doctor prescribed me? Except he's like, gay is shit right now. The way this dude's sleeping,

just makes me want to jay on his beat. It's like you're, it's something you're turning into a werewolf. It's like I know I told you to hang out today But I think I should get out of here, man. I'm out of your run. Don't you put your sleep it all cute Look at it. Well, you sleep it all cute on your tummy. Oh my god. Oh, you're a little short you little short short nose Breath you take while you're eating. You remember those pain. Oh remember those little paintings They did of athletes as babies. I feel like it's breaths you take while you're eating. You remember those pain remember those little paintings they did of athletes as babies I feel like it's like you with your butt But then you have to do frost wind waking up going going what's up? Are you okay boy? Let me help you

Check it off God keep going I was gonna feel the bug cheek and Really last time you have to smack you dick and Frostwin says that he decided at that point that to smack you dick. And Frostwin says that he decided at that point that Tinsley had been lying about any pill mix. Well, wait a second. It's like the end of a Scooby-Doo thing. He's are exactly the bus touchers. Oh my.

The jerk off sleep pills. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, this is take two and beat it on your butt cheeks. Oh my God, this is in the the directions a doctor told you to do that Is it fun? It's it would you have laughed at not complained if if you're laying there You're sleeping on your stomach and you wake up and he's not jerking off But he's just he's on his knees like facing you sideways and slapping his dick on your butchie Well, here's where it's weird. Is that one eye open?

Boy He's big you go well here's where it goes. There's that one eye open. What do you do? Boy? What do you do, bro? You have morning camp to help you? What's up? Do you? Do you want to meet you guys you want cereal you want to meet Dave? Do uh hey, I can see a Dave. This is Bunchcik. Boyd. Yeah, over the next few months, Frost said that he tried to put the incident behind him and again began accepting gifts from the older musician, including a new iPhone and cell phone service. So basically, when a dude starts paying for your cell phone service, he's gonna be Jay-Anne on your big. Yeah, by the way, the problem is behind him the whole time.

I should have kept the problem in front of him. Yeah, what are you doing, dude? Later, Tinsley was again allegedly sending Frostwin suggestive texts. Don't mention to your bandmates, but I need your face. You've got this magnetic attraction. Can you take some pics and vids of yourself and send to me? It's really hot when you wear dirty socks by the way.

Okay, this is getting into a new level. What the fuck? Hey, is this guy gay I mean as a way hold on dude during frostwinds that would DMB he says tinsley made a strange request before going on stage he wanted a pair of socks I went to grab a clean pair but he said no I by the way it shows that frostwinds a little complicit in a lot of this oh yeah because he's going like oh you want these socks boy or oh he's a little complicit in a lot of this. Oh yeah. Because he's going like, oh, you want these socks, boy? Oh, he's a little dainty boy.

Yeah, that's a strong swim. He was groomed for this new band. He was homeless before he met Boyd. Oh, there you go. Power move. I went to get a clean pair of pieces. Hey, you want this age? You better come over here and play them off fiddle.

You guys, you think I'd hit you, baby? I just want to play the fiddle with you. So I gave him a, Frostwind says that adding that other musicians had confided that Tinsley and made the same request to them He's a suck. Oh, so now so he came he went public when he realized he wasn't special anymore Yeah, and one text got a boy get socks from everybody's Page six my name is frost wind I'm just a frosty wind in one text dated March 18th 2016

Boyd allegedly wrote to frost wind. By the way, I'm not you're doing all this guys. I'm just having so much fun I like you fucking read it. Yeah, I it's crazy. It's really I didn't even notice it till you just said that now I'm gonna fuck up, but he texted him. You're such a you're such boner material Boy tinsley get better at getting newt's this guy sucks. This guy better at getting newt's. This guy sucks. This guy sucks at getting newt's. Yeah, really? He's like, hey, baby,licious. Why don't you send me a picture of your bozongas? Yeah. Hey, hotsy, tautsy. I'm really, I'm really stear and fru- I'm cruising for a bruise and on my meat. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Won't you send me a photo of those bassoons? Yeah.

B-A, says he. Is that go three hours? Oh boy, and if you're texting, you'll sexy trumpet player. Tell him I want him to play on towards me and a boy's dream. You stay asleep, though. Oh, my dear, come here.

I'm touch yo, but I touch my meat. I don't know if was just I'm a little confused Are you enjoying this and that then my dream? Dude this is so great. Let's give it back to S.I.C. Meant again sick It's a spelling thing or they it's some sort of liberty they took yeah, it's like not exactly Okay, that's how you do that. I've been wondering how you do that, because I used to sell it. S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s- masturbating SAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and all the occasions and were not previously aware of them in a bar's dream.

BOW! I thought he was cool and wouldn't say anything about it. He's messing up my band in a bowl. He's dreaming. I thought every time he said it he was joking like, yeah, I'd like to joke off of my trumpet players too in a bar. Who doesn't like to check off to a trumpet player. We're all human beings here, but the laws the law the boys. I know the baby people I didn't hate that, but I'm really enjoying this. That's true.

Ah, when you're far from sleep on one of those leather sofas in the studio and you're on a juke. J.O. on his being a bars dream. We boys, tins, these look at that at just splatable face as you're taking nap on that Ottoman channel. The bars dream. Do the best is going like you have such a face that makes

you want to just jerk off. It's like the opposite of trying to find that's almost super aggressive just to say. You are so hot. I'm going to jerk off so hard to you. I go, oh my god, Jay, your face makes me want to are so hot. I'm gonna jerk off so hard to you I go oh my god Jay your face makes me want to go jack off I'm like one attract you too. We can go home because not and not now. I'm gonna get in on it tonight But I'm really gonna go in I'm gonna hurt myself. You're not ready for the things I'm gonna do to me

You better call the state cuz I'm about to hurt my dick Cuz you're face cuz you're fucking jerkable face Satisfied of this whole thing is boy follows me on Twitter. Hell yeah he does. Someone's getting their butt j-o on. I'm a boy's dream. I'm a boy's dream. I'm a boy's dream.

Hey boy, this is Lou Senia. A message from near T-neck, New Jersey. I got a cakey cold blanket and a pack of m-bobble lights on the ball street. How long do you think it till you got this? I got a butt cheek that's naked right now, waiting for a big old black hand of a strong fiddle playing a bar stream. Hello, I'm here to talk to you about something that sucks bad. Do you or loved ones suffer from peronies?

You might be asking yourself, what's peronies? It's when your donger looks like one of those inflatable things outside the car dealership like Barbarra's the best up on the boulevard. Peronies' disease is scar tissue inside the penis that causes curved, painful boners. If your boner hurts, you probably have peronies. But don't worry, peronies affects tons of dudes. Here are a few testimonials from guys who got mangled dogs. This is Shane from Roxbrow. I mean, the day I got my Peronis, I was just driving home regular day of work.

I was, you know, stuck in traffic on 76, just daydreaming, think about Keith Primo, scoring on a pico power play for a case of tasty cakes, not unusual. Unless in a bonfire, I hear them, they're talking about this dude named Roman Palombo. So I googled him, check him out, and turns out he was pretty hot. And I didn't know I had those types of feelings. So I started getting a biker. And before this, I wasn't too religious,

but my one uncle Steve told me that if I were turn gay, he would come down from heaven and bend my dick. And next thing I know, I'm sitting in traffic with the hardest bender I've ever had. Bent under the pressure of my car hearts right against my dungries it bent so hard that now I got peronies. And now I can't even go down to a wall walk because all the guys know about it. They make fun of me they get every time I order a hoagie they just give me a bent hoagie. I say yeah will you toast my hoagie they're like now I will give you a bent hoagie you

fuck him weirdo. Get out of here with your gay peronies. So yeah, peronies isn't fun. It's not a joke. Beeser from South Philly. Yo, it's me Beeser. So last year, I finally graduate from the Lincoln Tech University School

with a degree in cars and shit. To celebrate, it's me and my boy Ed Reynolds. We get out on two streets to have some sweet ass nail gun fight. We get down there and fucking Eddie gets all nutty and shit, starts firing off like 6 frame in nails right in my dick and balls region. And he ain't using no black and dacker pussy pump like those retards in local 138 use. I'm talking brand new Dewalt 20 Volt. Right at it.

Sagan on urgent care and the black chick workings like you on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad your dick bent pain. And I'm like 69 bitch what's up. And she's like you got Peronis disease and I was like first off I ain't got no gay homo disease alright. I got Irish weekend coming up in 2 days and I ain't missing it for this made up shit. And she's like no it's a real disease it's called Peronis and I was like do I get percussed for it?

And she's like no and I was like, do I get percussive for it? And she's like, no, and I'm like, fuck you. Tell men like this go to www.healthwellfinalization.org and together, together, together. Together, we can help these men unbend their dogs. Hey, it's Big J. O'Grasson and I hope you enjoyed this week's best of the bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8pm Eastern on Comedy Central Radio Series XM95 or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at sexism.

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