The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Meatballs and Sex

Episode Date: September 19, 2025

DJ Lou gets bombarded with 90's slow jams and now hates the genre. Jay loves R&B and knows all the songs that Lou despises. The sexy music leads into stories of young love. Jay lost his virginity after a meatball meal and had an accident that almost ruined the milestone experience. Bob was very young and seduced by an older woman. Both guys grew up in schools that resembled prisons. Many of Jacob's high school teachers took advantage of the students except him. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. First thing on the list here on our rundown list, she did the other day, even though this is the last day of the week, we're coming in. DJ Lou hates 90s R&B. That's just not true. I thought it wasn't true, but now it's totally true. What are you talking about? My girlfriend, who happens to be black. I know. She's not football.

White, yeah, White Lou. She's half black. She's black enough. White Lou has, she's plenty black for Lou. I thought she was Indian. I like White Lou has black girlfriend, Black Lou, White Wife. That's very fun. That's a very, very fun thing.

Do you say that again, five times real fast? White Lou, White Lou has black girlfriend. Black Lou has white wife. Black, white Lou has, I got it. How many times in a row? Five in a row fast. White Lou has black girlfriend Black Lou has white wife

White Lou has black girlfriend Black Lou has white wife White Lou has black girlfriend Black Lou has white wife White Lou has black girlfriend Black Lou has white wife White Lou has white wife When's the last time

You've been to church my nigger Huh? Here's the thing that you had to rock Like Rain Man to get it out Yeah yeah You had to turn autistic to make that happen That's no doubt I had to like

You had to go into a real J You gotta go into Real Jay without pot and the doodads on your face I can never just I can never just be no that's that's the J that your mom knows oh yeah yeah are you okay out there she wonders are you rocking in a hotel room yes mama yes with a with a Tony Luke's in your hand mama I got a rock I have to rock mama oh is crazy what is your black girlfriend brought out inside of you, fury and anger? We had a long day.

For a while you were dressing in fucking sick-ass suits and everything, now you're back to Eddie Vedder. You've put your foot down. I know. I tend it to what I really am. Yeah. So I'm trying to sleep, and she's still he really does dress like the guy who opens the gate at the track. Oh, yeah. A shirt and a shirt over it.

Yeah, not the guy who takes care of the horses or the jockey or the owners. The guy who goes, yeah, right this way. Everybody, stand back. Stand back, please. Don't crowd. There's room for everybody. So I'm trying to sleep and I'm grumpy, you know, because I don't know anybody who's happy who's trying to sleep.

This is trying to go to bed. Yeah, on the couch. I'm just falling asleep. Can I say something? I'm the happiest when I'm, when I lie down somewhere and I am going to bed is the happiest time. I don't have to think about where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's just go to bed.

Yeah. My happiest time is close. Yeah. It's when I realize, when I realize the thing where it's like, that, like, laying on the couch and I have that like, oh, shit, like my eyes, that last blink was like a minute. You know what I mean? I was like, oh, shit. And then I go, oh, awesome. Because clearly I'm so comfortable.

I'm foggously. And I love that. That's that two minutes. It's the happiest ever. It's the happiest two minutes of my. Why are you angry when you're going to bed? Because I'm getting prevented from going to bed because I'm being barraged with blackness. Wow.

Wow. I want nothing to do with this show. That is fun. Are you, Lou, are you all right? Are you cool? Are you cool with that? Jay, you're half black. Are you all right with that?

I see, like, would it be, any music she played would be annoying at that point. Yes, yes, but she wanted to have fun and dance around. She was still full of beans. She had a wine or two. She was Mexican, too? And she wanted, she was feeling good. Uh-huh.

But I just wasn't in the mood. I wasn't having it. So she's cranking on the TV, she's playing YouTube video of all obscure 1996 R&B hits. Obscure? Yeah, well, to me, yeah. Go on.

Show me some. Okay, this is exactly what she was playing. Show me some. Is this the playlist? Yeah, is exactly the video. Yeah, you're a savant. Yeah. I don't want to see you start rocking again

when these songs come on. I'm going to tell you if she could have used her powers of half black seduction on me with this. Okay. Hey, lover. It's not an obscure. I know this song. More than a crush.

I'd fuck to this song. Is this bad song to fuck him? This is more than a cro- You should have got him to start a slow dance one of there, dude. You need your thin beard and you need to die it. I got to dark it out. You write them all. Standing with your girlfriend about to make a call.

Do you hear Christine? I had a dream. It was you on the other end. You know the words. And then you walked in. Jay, you have so many people. It's so funny, dude. That you're literally grew up.

up, you're a little black kid. You know that, right? What, then I'm a little black kid? You're a little black kid. I know. I was in another bad creation. A lot of people don't know that. I was the little white kid.

You see what they did to my kid. You're a gay, rock and roll black kid. All right, Lou, move on the next. Obscure song. L.O. Cool J.'s biggest hit of 1996 featuring boys to men. Obscure, he called it. There's a thing.

If I know it, it's not obscure. And I've actually masturbated to this song You should have rolled up out of your stupid half-sleep I'm like last night I saw you at the mall Christine, why are you making faces at that day? I'm like, I'm like, Louis just only listen to Pearl Jam on repeat for 35 years

I thought you make a face of me masturbating to this by myself I was a black hip-hop DJ in 1996 in Teaneck, New Jersey And you don't know the song No, they didn't ask me to play this probably got that drop, Jesus Christ Okay, now Come on

Are you crazy? Are you nuts? Never heard it. It's a great song to go to sleep, too. Who sings it, Pop? Fucking the black guy with the other black guy of the black producer. Somebody wasn't at the Tri-City dances.

Wait a minute, I'll get this. I can't live without your love. Is this from Boston, right? I'm the only one for you. I can't hear it. I want to turn it up I keep hearing Jay's voice not the guy's voice I still hear your voice dummy

let me get it I don't know this song but that means absolutely nothing I love Jay can't control him so That's coming in with 112's only you Everybody 112 I wouldn't have got that but I know the song That's right everyone you're home of 96 hip hop And 96 hip hop

That's right we're doing all 96 hip hop and R&B Coming at you right now playing only your obscure number one hits Obscure number one hits only If you're a white guy with a scally cap Trying to go to bed It's not going to happen tonight, my friend Get up and shake that rudy-booty

She's trying to lure you out of bed to dance with her Not at a bed, out of couch Can I say something though? You don't deserve her I do agree with it If I wanted to go to sleep And Dawn put on whatever Wholes shit

You're both sober crumbums She's not sorry, she smokes weed Who don't understand excitement. She smokes weed and gets drunk, but not with me. Oh. With her lesbians friends. She parties with the girls. That's Mace, by the way.

I'd be mad at this. Him I know. I know a lot of Mace. This would piss me off if my... If Christine started playing whatever fucking horse shit girl, fucking acoustic, sad song... When she does that, I start... I think I have to call an ambulance to take her away. I correlate her music with 10% of her.

terrifying times. Lou, what I'm telling you, I walk in the house, I talk to myself sometimes when I hear, she plays it on the entire, every speaker in the house.

Sonos? You can group Sonos in a thousand different ways. She sends it to every place in the house and it feels psychotic. Well, your, your music? When he's not home?

Why all the places? So as I walk through the house, you know, fiddle-diddling as I do, I hear the music everywhere. Are you fiddle-diddling again? She's in back to fiddle-diddling. Is she not taking her fiddle-diddle-dittle medicine? I don't know.

I walk through organizing and straightening up every room in the house. You better get her back on that fiddle-dittle medicine. You know what happened? Last time she fiddled dittled. I was on the phone with her for an hour and a half while she was fiddling. I got to take care of my own medicines. Yeah, get this now. Back to the 90s R&B and hip-hop.

We know, Christine. Stop. You're going to get her twirling. Maxwell ascension? I love Maxwell. You're supposed to guess it. God. I know the song, but if this wasn't about doing Maxwell, we all know what I'd go with Maxwell.

What a girl wants. Come on. Even I didn't know that was going to be that good. Fuck you guys. I thought it was good, Jay. Guys, was I Maxwell? Did you guys see me just Maxwell just now? We didn't see it.

We heard it. What we saw was a little different, but what we heard. What's the next one, Lou? Without reverb. Thank you. All right, this one I knew, but I was not having it. Come on, yeah. Come on, you know this, Bobby.

Wow. Wow. All the time. Wow, wow. So at this point, I'm fake dancing being like, okay, let's cut it up. This is great. You're actually dancing. No, he's fake dancing.

He's angry. Yeah, angry dancing. So she wanted, what time was it, by the way? 11. 11 p.m. On what night? Monday. On a Saturday. Just a fuck out of here. You're crazy. Yeah, dude. You're a little out of line with that.

Go on. Go to the next one. Was it your place or her place? It was a long day. You can't fuck around, dude. You've got to dance if it's her place. If it was going to leave the sex, I would have faked it a little longer. If you are going to date ethnics, you have to do ethnic activities. This is Mark Morrison's return of the Mac. Turn it up.

I ate Spanish food for four years. If this doesn't get you out, Come on, dude. At 11th during the Saturday, dude, this I'll be grooving in my house. Dude, I'm an old white guy from Boston and I would get out of bed for this. This brings people together. Jake, you don't know this one either? I don't know it, but I like it.

Come on. It's crazy, Jacob. What did you do? What did you do in the 90s? You don't have to know who the song is. No. But you have to know the song. I mean, it's fucking crazy.

You know the song. Nobody's a savant like you, dude. It's like being a savant. It is. It is. Nobody fucking knows. December shit, dude. You don't have to know it's Mark Morrison.

That's sure. That's over the top. Dude, you're, this is your thing. Turn it up, Lou. You're meant to be a DJ. I've known all these songs, but I think me and Lou's girlfriend are the same age, and we grew up with the same radio.

Ooh. Yes. Am I hitting it? You've heard this song, Jacob. Yeah. West Coast, baby. Lou, come get some of this. She's South Central, so a little harder than me,

but. Yeah. Same stations. That shoulder work, though, was popping. Yeah, you've heard this. Yeah. This is a good song. Bobby, please quiet.

I'm getting loose. Sorry, I apologize. Jay's getting loose. He's filming me, get loose. Ooh, am I doing all right? I love how good. You're a good chair dancer. That's all the car dancing he's done.

He's a car dancer? My legs are doing nothing. Lou, you say when it... I know I got some footwork. You say if it had led to sex, you would have gotten out of off the couch. But what would have been a bigger indicator? Yeah, why don't you pull your fucking dong out and start dancing to Mark Morrison's return to the Mac.

You're lying to me. I think she was giving you indications. Mark Morrison. Return to the Mac. Return of the Mac. Return of the Mac. Return of the Mac. You're fucking nuts that we're supposed to know that name.

This is information. This is not fucking nobody remembers. Nobody drove around like a lonely kid like you in Philly. We had shit to do. Oh. Nobody remembers. I wasn't driving around. I was just listening the radio on my room

and making tapes. Yeah, dude, that's a lonely little chubby jam. Very. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That became this beautiful rock and roll disco superstar. You got your superhero power from desperation. Sure. You know what I mean?

Pure teenage sadness. Yeah, now you converted it into this power that we don't have. Turn it on, Lou. Test me again, dog. You know who it is? I'll be good. Oh, come on. Come on, dude

I've heard this I've heard it all I just don't know who it is Let me try to guess I mean you could already tell By the background Thing who the guy is You should know who the girl is too

It's insane you don't Hang on I'll be good Yep Right? Yeah, you got the song Yeah But you should know who this is

It's Ricky No, stop Jazzy Nope Mikey Nope Ricky No

Bobby It's a black gentleman black of course he's black well this is a woman this this is uh jesse nope jona nope is that jz

yes okay yeah and foxy brown oh foxy brown yeah i know that you know i'm white guy from boston foxy brown no come on dude i don't know names was foxy brown little kim who did you like more i went with little kim because she was a scuzz slut i don't know about foxy brown probably was too but Little Kim really wore it on her fucking asshole

Little Kim looks like she's in Star Wars at the bar now Yeah now she does It looks like Joan Rivers I tried to get one last blackening surgery She looks like she don't I'm Look at the next one Lou

Insanity Come on guys How do you guys? How do you guys don't know Every song this has been played? I know all these songs I just don't know who it is I, that's totally understandable, but you know them, right?

You know, I, of course I know these things. Lou, get over here. I got a new one. Not Jacob. Jacob's lost cause. What is it? Not for nothing, Jay. It looks very similar to the old one, except slower.

You're like somebody that, like, their family took him abroad to Germany, and they don't know any pop culture references. Christine, I don't know if you've noticed this, but the passion in Jay's eyes, it's almost like he's singing the song when he dances it. Look at it. He's club. If Jay would just, like, go clubbing and give in to his jerseiness, he'd probably be a happier guy. Now, when you say jerseiness, is that the word I can't say on the radio?

You're making me high. No. Jay's talking over his trashing. Are you guys trashed me? I couldn't tell. Because Tony Braxton was singing, I get so high to me. I said you need to give in to the fact that you want to beat the beat. Yeah. And I said you should give in the fact that you're in the closet. I don't want anybody with me.

I want to dance alone. buddy uh yeah will you please go dancing alone yeah you'll do that yeah can we camera you up though like like the show fear i got cameras all over front of me what i'm fucking taking it to the floor i got a i got a dance in my heart for sure go ahead lou what's the next one we should all go dancing puzzle these people more come on only one person always had that same clicker clack in the back of all their stupid songs janet jackson j jam can i give you this yeah she's She was one of the fuck adults when she was a child And she's dead

My aunt Peggy Yes This is your Aunt Peggy Peggy On and on and on You're the This is like hang on I mean this is my dance for this

Is that your I fuck grown men dance I love how thin you are But it bugs me how much your foot is shaking From this Look how thin you are kid Yeah look at it Look how thin I am stay on him Lou

don't go over to me I got nothing I was hoping you would dance look at that nothing I gave you every clue I could possibly give you I'm not gonna dance in a vampire movie yes she was Jacob and she had a gaudy funeral vanity I do not recall her funeral she did it was in a glass

chariot gross Vanity V starts with the V E E Alyssa A A A Lina Aalina A la E Elijah Allah.

Allah. Praise Allah. It's Allah. Alia. Alea. Jacob gets it first. That's one point for Jacob. See her wedding?

I mean, sorry, not her wedding. The opposite. Guys, we're all doing great. I'm not letting Black Lou play because he's definitely, he speaks through me. We know the same songs, for sure. Right now, the score,

I believe, is 7 to 1 to 0, Bobby. And let me ask you a question. Yes. She fucked kids? No. She was a child who got fucked. She was the kid who got fucked. By Robert Kelly.

No, no, no. Yeah. R. Kelly. Robert. Kelly. Yeah, no. Stop saying my name. It's R. Kelly. No, you happen to have the same name as the world's most prolific and exciting and high-level pedophile. Right. Robert Kelly.

That's what helped me back all these years. I believe. She had the chariot, the glass chariot. I didn't remember that at all. But I know people were sad and she used to fuck R. Kelly. R. Kelly was so happy that his secrets exploded in that plane. This is the best. They went on TV.

This is one of the funniest R. Kelly things ever. They went on TV, him and Alia, to prove they just worked together and that they're not seeing each other anyway. And then he goes, and also we should dress exactly the same. And that's exactly what he did. He dressed their exactly. And they're both very, very uncomfortable. God damn. Dionne Steners don't know what to do.

What's up, young player? Go ahead, Lou. What's the next one? Okay, this one may stump you. It's a guy. Songs called Street Dreams. Correct? That's a guy, right?

Yeah. It's a guy backing up. Yeah. Just a guy? This guy. Yeah. Is that Jodacy? How I raped and fuck those children.

Is it R. Kelly? Yes. Is it? Yes. Yeah. R. Kelly and Nas. Street Dreams is the name of song, right? Yeah.

You can't fault me for that one. That's a little deeper car. All right. All right. I'll take out of zero for everybody. Okay. go on this one you know come on get out of here let's not even waste our time moving the next one my pony get out of here do you guys know those things it yeah i don't even know the my pony

you don't know this song you play two seconds of it in my defense jacob if you don't know this song in two seconds i need you to go take a lap around the building can you play it yeah this name sounds familiar to this you look foolish not knowing this yet oh you're disappointed this is crazy Yeah, because I was listening to British rock bands at the time that no girl were in. No girls weren't. Jacob was busy, listening to the Bay City Rollers and hunting iguanas. You know the song. You know the song.

I don't want to lie. You don't? I don't know the song. My point. I mean, this song's like a cultural phenomenon. Let me get to the chorus. This is the chorus. Oh, this is the quote.

Jacob, this song has been used. In 10 years of this show, it's been used on the show 50 times. It's standard for sex. Yeah, we played it during... Well, not my sex. What is your sex? Bob O'Reilly.

Oh, it's a real panty dropper. What's next, Lou? I'm so frustrated with Jenga right now, but I'm beside myself. I like when you make faces trying to get me. You know it. S.W.V. Yes.

Sisters with voices. Yeah, Jay. It's harder for people that didn't grow up black. Huh? Yeah. I bet it would be. It must be difficult for everybody in this room. I don't know what you were to tell me.

That must be difficult for everybody, including Black Lou. Yeah. You're a young little black kid. Yeah. Grew up with a ghetto. I mean, it wasn't a ghetto. Yeah, I've been there. We were near your house.

It was flipping and flopping to get pretty ghetto as I was there. It was Jewish and black. First of all, should we show your school again? He's not, he's defending his neighborhood. I was there. All of Philly is ghetto. Oh, yeah. Can you, you're not wrong about that.

The culture shock, though, thing, because I didn't show Bobby, we didn't have time to see my mother or, but we were not far away also. I said, show him a picture of my school, Robert E. Lamberton, and then flip it to, that's the school I went through most of my life. That's a great school. To 11th grade. What?

It's a nice look. Oh, well, can you go back to the other photo you just did that first photo? It's from inside the gate. Yeah, that looks like it's in California. The first photo looks all right, and then you go to the next photo. That one looks good. What one? With a fake gate, the bushes look nice.

Look it, that looks all right, but then go to the other photo. Oh, no, but you don't see what that is. That's that building, it goes out like that. It's like a, you know, a triangle. Yeah. Sort of, like, you know, basically two hallways, up or lower and underneath floor. And the, but can you see the school yard of it?

The school yard is what's crazy. It's just concrete. The extreme long shot looks like a penitentiary. Yeah, when you pull away and you take those nice bushes out and that beautiful gate, it looks. No, it was a dump. Yeah, it looks terrible. it was for sure um is that it no that's like the side of the school oh well that looks like

a factory that's it that's kind of it that's the schoolyard that's the schoolyard no that's the back of the thing where they put the trash yes no that's the trash was out there that's not the school yard that's not what you played because it's where we played they would paint they painted lines on the ground for games like a little baseball diamond that's where the trucks pull up to bring the food in and take the trash also yes no they didn't actually it was all gated in because probably a pedophiles murderers. Can I tell you something? That looks like the juvenile hall

I was in in Rochester, New York. It was a shitty school, no doubt. It was a shitty school. I'd say that one picture that it's in my history of something is a bunch of us standing in front of that. I stay in front of that school. But no, bring up Triton High School.

This is a school I graduated. I went to one year to, so it was such a, I didn't get it. Like I said, missing the last class because we're doing a pep rally today? I'm like, for what? Like, the sports, it's going to be football. I'm like, oh, okay.

This was like a school school. Wow. Oh, that has a little cul-de-sac in front. Oh, that looks nice. You got one year of that? One year of that. That's where you learned. There's a football field.

Yeah, they had like a real football field and shit. The Mustang. That's where you learned all your country and rock-and-roll music. I graduated on that football field right there. Wow. Actually, it started raining, and then they just said, sorry, everybody, the entire class of 95 graduates, and then go inside and get your diplomas.

I mean, they passed my grandmother over a fence. It was a weird day I think my dad also hit on the girl That I lost my virginity to that day Yes he did Thank you mom You're right mama Yes you did

Let's take a pick of the cheerleaders Over at Triton Regional Oh God Look how white the school was They don't bring it up I guess you can't look at pictures Of teenage cheerleaders anymore It was such a white school

it was such a shocking like different change I didn't love it I went to Lawrence High School bring up Lawrence Mass High School You want to see a shitty high school Is it? I went there

Well I went there during They had riots between the Puerto Ricans and the white kids The whole town was fucking up in arms Your problems were Puerto Rican Look at that shit Look at that That's a fucking that's a prison dude

Why does it only have drawings of it Robert Frost went there Famous author Robert Frost That school was a fucking prison Why doesn't it exist Look at that middle I think they're building a new school But there's no pictures of it ever from the past

Bring it in 1980 Is this our first scoop Are we gonna get a scoop? Why is this school buried? Why is the history of the school Only in artistic works? There it is right there That was my high school I went to

for a year when I was in a foster home. I was in a foster home in Lawrence, Massachusetts. It looks like an orphanage. That was bad, dude. It was bad. Thank God for shop class. I spent most of my time. I remember I was in, when I went to school for the first day,

I, the kids were smoking cigarettes in the back row and just cuffing them and smoke, just smoking butts. What class were you? Class of what? That was 1986. No, that was 1985. Do you know Sean Murphy? I didn't graduate from there.

I left there. Did you know Sean Murphy? Because he's Class of 86. I did not know, though, guys. It was probably 85, 84. I was in Juvie. I was still drinking at the time. I was still getting fucked up.

Nice. And yeah, I remember that I was next to me. There was two pregnant girls. Hell yeah. And I think I was nine. The shop class? It was bad. You know they fuck.

It was ninth grade. You can come inside them. Ninth grade, two pregnant girls, which I never saw a young pregnant girl before. And then I remember the guy smoking in the back row. which I thought was wild. Hell yeah. It even made me nervous.

And I was in fucking juvie. And it made me nervous just a kid lit up a butt. That is wild. No one stopped him. Nobody stopped him. That's interesting. The school wasn't like that. It really wasn't like lean on me like kids inmates running the asylum at all.

Yeah. There was just like a lot of bad kids, a lot of fights after school fight. A lot of type shit. Well, they beat up. They were fighting the bike kids. But nobody, like if you smoked a cigarette in school, I mean, it's the same school that made me have to go by a suit and apologize for saying that I didn't. not have sex with a girl I mean it's not it's not it's not like they let you smoke in class the kids just no but they wouldn't but not stopping them as a big step like if somebody lit up

I'm not saying there wasn't a lunatic in my school that wouldn't light up a cigarette I'm saying a teacher would go over and like pulled out of their mouth well no they didn't do shit and it was I think it was because of all the shit that just went on a couple years before that but I only made it and I didn't know this nobody fucked with me and I but I never talked and I'm I remember I was in shop class and they were talking about all these white kids, the Spanish kids, they were Puerto Rican, they were like,

you know, these fucking white motherfuckers, we're gonna fuck them up after school and I turned just out of instinct. And they were like, yo man, you fucking Puerto Rican, right? And I was like, nah, I'm Italian Irish. And they were like, what the fuck? Because I had that little mustache and my juicy Puerto Rican lips.

Your mustache? I look like a sexy Puerto Rican. I didn't even know it. You look like a gay boy Zorro. My, my gay boy's... Zoro looked save me in that high school for a year. You're Puerto Riga, right? See, hombre.

That's Mexican. See, hombre. I only know one Hispanic voice. See? No, I say, see, Papi. That's Puerto Rican. Yeah, he's Puerto Rican. No, that's Mexican, Jay.

You know, I do a Puerto Rian? Hey, I'm from an American Commonwealth. Puerto Rican, I'm from here. Fucker. That's cool. I'm from right here, fucker. That's cool. It's terrible.

Terrible. It's fine. I was terrified every time I went to school. Robert Frost went there. It looks like rich school. It does. It looks like boarding school. It was bad.

It looks like New England old money school. I graduated from Malden High School, which was a nice high school. Malden High was all right. That's boring. We want to show all our shit schools. How are some people going to know how bad ass we were? Jacob, what Kweef Academy did you graduate from where you had to wear the same blazers as everybody else? You fucking pussy?

You get a patch on his breast. We all turned the high school bully, Jacob. Where's your rich kid's school, your piece of shit? Yeah. Where's your crest, pussy? What university do they send your ass off to? Was the Mustangs also. Yeah?

Yeah. You were the Mustangs? I think... She was awful. I was supposed to go to Medford High, but they wouldn't let me. And they made me to go to Malded High. But that was the tornadoes. And I went there from, I think, half a ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th.

I graduated from there. Were you a tornado? No, I wasn't. You didn't play any sports? I didn't, no, I didn't play any sports. I didn't buy you ball. Buddy, I was getting sober, going to AA dances. I didn't have time for sports.

I didn't play any sports. No, no, that's, you exactly had time for sports. I didn't. You should have done sports. What were you doing when you were not drinking? You were just in meetings all day? School and then meetings nonstop? Sports.

I would go, ninth grade, I went to school until like 10.30, and then I went to a job. I was in the rubber rooms. When I got out of Juvie Hall... You're making condoms? When I got out of Juvee Hall, they put me in... I was making styrofoam balls for Christmas ordinance. Oh, you know, a rubber room is usually what they say

when they put a lunatic into. Yeah, I know. We used to call them rubber rooms. He used to spend time in a rubber room. He goes, yeah, it was my job. What did you do there? It's kind of sat in this weird jacket for a couple hours today.

It was kind of like that. We had a report to Mr. Lyon's office with all the other kids that were in the, you know, the special ed they called it in high school so it was me and a bunch of other people and we report to his office in the morning was our homeroom and then we go to a couple classes and then I would get I would be released to go to work it was weird ninth grade did you see and I work my way out of the rubber rooms back in the mainstream classes by the by 12th grade it's so funny

this comes up I know when de Stephano was here years ago he was telling us about I don't know banging his friend's mom when he was younger or something and uh Metzger went to school. There was like a someone who fucked a teacher thing in his school. I always say I never, there was no salacious thing with teachers in my school. I only comes up thinking about it.

I was watching a body camp thing today of a party being broken up at a house and all these kids, some of the kids are like violently sick from drugs. There was guns at the party. And it was the principal's house. This lady who was just like, what?

And by the way, when the cops come, they're like, you guys suck. Fucking party poopers. Like, you're drunk. She's like, you're drunk. She's, I haven't seen the end of the video. She's going to get in a lot of trouble. But they happen to me in rehab.

I've never seen any kind of inappropriate thing with, like, teachers and students. I know people that are like, Bonnie, Bonnie McFarland, the fucking teacher took her to, like, a strip club and shit. I'm like, where, what? My art teacher in high school. You were all old, gross ladies. It was an Italian woman, really pretty, big gazubas. And then a... Is that Italian?

What? Gizubas? Big of gazubas. She was your teacher. Your Italian teacher? And her partner, the other teacher, Mr. D, it was Mrs. D and Mr. D. They're not, but he was gay, a little one of those little, you know, villain mustaches with the wax in it. Mr. loved the D.

Thank you, Jacob. They would take me out to lunch all the time. They would get me out of math class. They would pull me out of classes. I'd hang out with them. I'd go to lunch with them. And I thought maybe that something would happen in some point. but they never tried to do anything to me.

I thought Mrs. D. You thought as a couple, they were going to try to fucking work you over? I don't know. I thought he was going to make a move at least or she was going to make a move, but I did want to, I would have hooked up with Mrs. D in a second.

What if the only way you could have was you had to kiss Mr. D on his Mr. D? Done and done. Just kiss it. Just yeah. Or like open mouth. Can I draw it? You have the French to kiss the hole.

But she draws it. Like where, Yeah. She draws us. Absolutely. A little charcoal drawing as I'm kissing it. Yeah, fantastic drawing. She puts it up in the classroom and people see it.

Is that you? No. My school, the teachers were the child fucking champions, man. Really? Oh, my God. We must have the record. Really? I mean, I get four off the top of my head that banged students.

Well, they all your size, because I can understand it. Just cutie-patootie's. I was so pissed when I heard two of the girls that the teacher banged. Why? I was madly in love with one of them. Against the law? Yeah, that too. But at the time, you're just.

just jealous like man how does he do it i know you're not like i should make an anonymous tip and ruin this guy's fucking life he's fucking a child you're like lucky yeah at the time i was just thinking what does he got that i don't have yeah dick hair a job his no morals dick hair dick hair does it dick hair and a job that's all you need that age jacob only had a few fuzzies down there yeah yeah a little fucking soft curleys all then he was pubs and a paper root and he would have got pussy you were done fine you were done just fine in my in my rehab that I was in though which blew me away one of the counselors was fucking my friend and one of the

one of the one of the one of the dudes in there who I it was so weird because he'd always go for he would always go for therapy with her like at night she would come in and give him extra things at night but no one ever thought anything other we just thought that he needed and she was providing a service and And she was fucking banging him out downstairs in her office at the rehab, which was wildly awesome. I mean, that's fucking awesome. We did have a priest that did the overnights, and he was.

This is also going to be awesome. A hundred percent gay. Yes. And I found out that he never fucked anybody. You found out the hard way. No, yeah, the disappointing way. Yeah, yeah. He entered me, and he wasn't very good at it.

Dude, when I first got there and he was the overnight guy, I was like, I'm definitely going to have to wipe this guy's balls off my chin while I'm sleeping every night I went to bed I was like please don't try to do anything this is going to be really but he never made him move but when I worked at the this is weird later in life when I worked at the

I worked at a juvenile lockup I did the overnights and you raped kids no I did not rape kids but there was an old I mean talking old she'd be like 60 something you know and she would come in late at night after everybody left and it was just me and the other overnight guy

and she'd be like I gotta see Raul like she always bring like a hot Spanish kid downstairs to do whatever talks and we're like we're all go downstairs and he would go downstairs come to find out she's downstairs getting fucking banged out by these kids she wound up getting fired

and she was getting banged out I apologize for being slightly distracted I heard the whole story I was slightly distracted I just know some of when I say that I always get self-conscious when I said rape bros and then I see Jacob start typing and all I get a picture he's going nine minutes, 25 seconds into

show, cut rape bros or whatever that was. Is that what Jacob's job is? Huh? I left that in. Huh? I left that in. Oh, yay. Is, am I just learning that Jacob is, when he types, he's typing? He's telling on us? He's ratting on us? Yes. I didn't know

that. I like to call it show notes. Oh, show notes. Yeah. He's ratting. Yeah. And he's saying to Jim, and everybody in real time. Oh, God. On my school, it was even, too. It was half male teachers, half female teachers. They all banged.

Let's just say this, though. A female teacher banging a young kid, boy, is not as bad as a man fucking a chick. And I don't know why. Or a man fucking your boy. A guy fucking a young boy is bad. Yeah. What's worse?

Okay, we got guy fucking. fucking young girl, teacher fucking girl, teacher fucking boy, woman teacher fucking young boy. I wish you could be that easy. How are these kids dressed? We're talking...

We're talking summertime, springtime, not winter. Now it's just like the 70s when like the shorts were short? On the boys, I mean. We're talking 70s, 80s, half cut shirts on the boys with like the number 12 like... Oh yeah, mesh. Just mesh. Mesh. Tank top.

Yeah, remember there was only Lee jeans back then, nice and tight? Can you say no? Huh? How can you say no? How can you say no? My friend, my good friend's brother, older brother, bang. It depends on their outfits. What are their outfits like?

Are they just like little kids? They're holding like lollipops and dressed like little sailors? Like that? No, it seems terrible. I would say high school. High school. Is where you can start fucking them? No, that's not what I'm saying.

That's what you're implying. I'm saying, we're talking, woman fucking high school student right but under 16 15 15 say 15 okay everybody's 15 love it I'm there emotionally everybody's 15 woman fucking fucking 15 year old boy

guy fucking 15 year old boy guy fucking 15 year old girl in the order of bad now can I say there's actual questions you have to add in here okay is this 15 year old boy already know he's like gay is he gay and like I'm gonna fucking get because I think yeah that's how you become gay he is gay now sure that's how gay happens but I'm saying was this like a straight kid who was

lowered by the teacher and got butt fucked like against like completely like against his will or something was this a 15 year old they're all into it it's all no it's not into it I mean they're all right everyone's stoked on getting raped they're not getting raped take the word rape out there's no rape Everyone's stoked on getting sexually assaulted. It's sexually assaulted by law, but they are... They're in love. No, no love. It's just sex.

Just pure tawdry sex with a minor. It's taught, exactly. So the woman slowly eases into this, and they wind up fooling around. Okay. And she's like, we shouldn't do this. And he's like, I know. But they do it. To this student, boy student.

Yeah, the guy to the girl. yeah same thing hey this is and she's like i know this is but they have you ever seen dick hair before the guy to the the guy to the boy yeah is same thing yeah you know just hey man we should i shouldn't say hey oh you're my student but should we practice kissing or there's no there's no kissing oh this this is minnie ripperton you're a fine dude are you into minnie riverton at all this is something wrong with you he's typing again oh shit come on jay Jacob. I know. He's typing away.

Oh, my God. What minutes is this? Don't worry about it. Have you ever been... Molested? Not molested. Is it molestation? Raped? Not raped. Sexually assaulted.

No, if you ever had sex with an older woman when you were younger? I mean, how much younger? Like, if she was 20, 21, 22 in the 20s and you were, say, 15? No. But I lost my virginity at 17 to a 22-year-old. five years older than me but 17 you're almost 18 so it's almost legal no I was

just 17 just 16 yeah wow she was molested but she was being molested in front of you while you had to eat her pussy no a couple doors down a couple doors down for me she was being molested by her uncle who was an old merchant marine

who dressed like Gallagher it's uh I can make the story funny it's probably a nightmare to her but I can make a story funny enough I did it. Like I molester right into my 17-year-old arms. And was it good?

It was my first time doing anything, so it was all great to me. What did she do? Did she teach you? Did you know a little thing or two about a thing or two? No, I didn't know anything. I mean, I wasn't like numb to the idea. I'd watch plenty of porn everything at the time where I kind of knew what the action was going to be. Walk us through it.

I want to hear it. What part? Like how it happened. Were you home on your belly watching TV? I was planned out. And my mom gave me money for it. for the hotel room. What?

Yeah. Your mom help you get molested? Yeah. Wait a minute. Listen, her people, her people, dude. Jay. Yeah. What the, wait a minute.

Seriously, your mom, she was helping you have sex for the first time? Well, she was like pushing my ass cheeks. She was like, she gave me a couple bucks for the hotel room, yeah. So she said you're going to have sex with this older lady?

She didn't assign me. It was, that happened. That was my own charms. and her charity. How did your mom find out about it? You told her? Yeah. So you went, hey, ma, any money for McDonald's?

And you're like, not this time. Not this time, Mom. Not this time. She goes, my baby's going to have sex. It's the only thing that would keep you from McDonald's. You don't have to say anything. Here's money. Take my credit card.

We didn't credit card. We didn't credit card. So she gave you cash. Yeah, yeah. So you went to your mom. You had that type of relationship where you can go to your mom and I want to have sex with this woman.

You don't know if I said that. I mean, I probably did say it like that, but like in a much funnier, that's the reaction I would have my mom, the kind of interaction I have my mom. So you're like, I'm gonna- I go, yeah, I think this girl, this girl, Holly is, it's gonna happen. I was think, but I have to go,

she wants it to be like a thing. And her thing was, she was presenting to me like, you're, you know, I was like, her neighbor, we were friends, we like hung out a bunch because she moved in with her molesting uncle and unaware aunt. You couldn't use his apartment? His way to move in with your molest, Isn't that weird?

But anyway, who knows how that psychology works? But she, yeah, so we'd hang out a bunch. And then it just got, like, sort of, like, flirtatious a little bit, but she had a boyfriend-ish at the time she was still seeing. But she would hang out with me. And then just kind of came, like, she started just doing, like, well, I want to show you stuff. Like, you're great, and people should know,

you know, you should be more confident and blah, blah, blah. And she just kind of, like, walked me through. She was cute. So you got the hotel, was a little shitty hotel? holiday in right by we drove past the block and you didn't tell me that's where you got your cherry popped no damn it was right across from uh right across from uh wawa that was there oh i remember the wala on black horse bike i remember that wawa yeah yeah and that's where you got your cherry popped yeah so sadness part one by enigma do do do do do do champed so you you went in and got the hotel

or she had to get it because you weren't all enough to get it no i got it i took her to the philly diner for a spaghetti dinner i don't know why i chose to go spaghetti meatballs but i do remember that a wild choice for sex night pasta it was a fucking at a diner it was a whole thing was wet dude yeah it was a for the night ahead he treated like a marathon the card load for the night ahead of us so so you win it so you went in you got spaghetti and meatballs got some spaghetti meatballs did you pay for that too yes so you mom gave you a little extra. She goes, you might be hungry.

I may have had some cash. I think what I actually needed her to do was, I think she ended up paying for it, but I think had to use her debit card to get the room. To get the room. So you got the room, your mom got the room for you.

And then I paid cash there. And then you paid cash there. So you went to the diner first. It was my money. You ate first and then had sex. Right? That's crazy. I know.

Didn't come. That's a rookie move. Farted. Why, you couldn't come. You were full. I did fart, though. I did fart from spaghetti dinner. Wait a minute, you farted during sex?

Yeah. Stop it. Bobby, don't you ever listen to my 2008 album, American Storyteller, or I lay all this out? I listen to it every night before I go to bed just to keep up on everything. I thought you fucking re-up. You told me you re-up that three times a year. I do. I just started to listen to it again with Max.

You said it's your skanks for the memories. Dude. So, wait a minute. So you had a meatball dinner at a diner. Spaghetti meatballs at a diner. Spaghetti meatballs. From what I remember, the sauce wasn't great. Of course it was.

It's a diner. But plenty of bread. So you went in, and then you went to the hotel. Was the hotel next door? Right down the street, yeah. So you had to get in a car, her car. My car. Oh, you had a car.

Oh, yeah, 16. Or I was driving one of my parents' cars. So you drove down there with her, and then you went to the hotel, and it's to bang. Oh, yeah. So you go in, and now, after you bang, do you spend the night? Boombox, no. You had a boombox? Boombox playing this song, this CD, straight through, which is pretty much this song over and over again.

so you went in and hit the button was the was the boom box there did you had to bring in all your no we brought a boom box so you brought it all your stuff in like you were getting ready i do that it's funny i didn't think i forget what it was but some kind of like boo she poured into a cup and i had some and i was like i was just like a naive kid so i didn't really drink or anything when i was younger so i remember like drinking whether there's wine or whatever it was i remember just having to keep the face that like it's good this is good and he was like can we stop drinking this? In my mind, I'm just like, can we do anything else but drink more of this? I hate

this so much. Yeah, exactly. Yes. I was like, is there a Sprite chaser? Like, for wine? Yeah. It's really making my, it makes the top of my mouth hurt for some reason. That's the tannins. So you had wine with her. Something, some kind of booze. I think it was wine.

You walked in, you put the radio where it needed to be. And then she poured some wine into some plastic, you know, holiday in cups. And then you hit the button. Oh, yeah. We might have to be a tape, right? CD. This is her jam, though.

Okay. By her, you know, thing, this is her shit. And now, is it nighttime? Oh, yeah. It's nighttime? Mm-hmm. You got lights on, bathroom light on? Low lighting.

She set some lighting. So she set some lighting. And then did you guys start to, like, kiss on the end of the bed? Did you stand up and dance a little? Like, walking through this. I don't know how much we could. We probably did a little bit. At that point, we had made out a little bit, and I think I figured her on the golf course.

Then. stop golf course yeah oh before this okay before this okay i'm saying through other times of hanging out you had spaghetti meatballs golfed because yeah we've you're a real fucking romancer we had fooled around a little bit but it wasn't like she didn't blow me you know i fingered her is the most we ever went we made out a couple times i think and then it was just kind of like how many fingers she has a boyfriend i don't remember did you get her going or did you just finger i fuck i'd be lying if i told you i remembered I don't remember. But, and then so in the hotel,

the sadness part one, please? Ah, she's how much, ha, she's ha, ha, she ha. I imagine she did, like, a scarf dance up to you. No. She what? I feel like she, like, scarf danced up to him. She should have. She turned a fan on, so the scarf would move, like a snake.

She's like a grateful dead chick. She's wearing, like, soccer shorts and some shit. She put a red negligee over the lamp, so the room went red. There's a picture of one of my things Of me and her I've sent to you before But at my prom When I brought a 20-something-year-old to a prom

Oh, this is the girl you brought to the prom? Yeah Oh, wow I brought an older woman to my prom too Yeah I think we had this We talked to this before But anyway, so she

So whether we kissed or not I don't remember She was talking it out a lot She was like talking like Hey, now I'm gonna show you This is what girls like When you do this So it's like someone walking me through

eating her pussy was interesting she's helping she's she's actually helping you do it absolutely right way now did she undress you or did you undress yourself i don't remember all i remember was she started doing like things like this is all very first to me this kind of she's like kissing down my body i don't think at the time i'm sorry i hate let me just put this out there ladies all the ladies are listening i guys don't like you to treat us treat us like you you don't She was like bitches. What a fucking annoying. That said, I do like when a girl puts her hands on my head if I'm eating her pussy.

I love that. I'm talking when they slowly go down your neck to your chest. Oh, yeah. Don't work. Yeah, don't work me over. Yeah. Fuck you. Go from my mouth to the head of my cough.

My big fat cock. You spending eight minutes on my aureole as you fucking weirdos. Yeah, I think she'll that. And then all I know it, and I said that was like, it was all very new. So you have to consider also my little fat, walrus, naked body. And then she's kissing down, and everything is like almost like, it's almost like tickles everything. Let me ask you question. When you were looking down, did she disappear under your stomach?

Yeah, probably. I've had that one. A girl goes to blow you and you can't see her. Actually, no, no, when I was 17. That made me sick when that happened. Maybe when I was like 26, maybe. Don was blown me once. And I was like, Dawn?

Dawn? Dawn? She's like, yes. Your head popped out. Yeah. I've been funny if she turned around the corner over the sandwich. Where'd you go? You finished. I've been saying yes for two minutes. Oh, I didn't hear you. You under my stomach. She's yelling into your asshole. So, so there's no passion in this. I mean, I was, I like this girl a lot. But there's no passion. It's not like you guys went in and ripped each other's clothes off and started fucking. No, but it was pretty like dope the way she was like.

It was technical. Because like she would be like do, it would be like when she'd like do this and girls like when you put your and right away, like this direction, not like you're thinking. Real quick, side note. Did you bring the extra spaghetti and meatballs from the diner? Well, I did not take it. There she is. I did not take any home.

You didn't? God, what an oaf. You know what's so funny? Because when I tell the story about me being 70 and her 22, in my mind, we see the picture she's going to be taller than me. Like I'm a little boy and she did something to me. Buddy, that's so funny. Your hair is, your mushroom haircut is atrocious.

It was the thing at the time. I know. Oh, my God, dude. And I was a fatso, and she wasn't fat, so that was exciting. You're a big kid. You're not that fat. At the time, that was morbidly obese. I don't know why, now, that jacket didn't fit at all.

Oh, my Angus suit. Buddy, that arm is huge. No, I think the picture's all spot-chance. You zoom in on that arm. I think you're also seeing, again, that's the bonfire burn mark, making it look weird. It is too big. No, the jacket is huge. It was in 90s.

You guys don't get it. No, it's that you went and think of... That's why you don't know, understanding 90's hip-hop and R&B. They just, you didn't get a... That's a renter, right? Of course. Yeah, that's a rented.

They can't make the arms. You're wearing a linebacker's fucking jacket. If they wanted to get it around my chest and gut, they had to give me the arms of Shaquille O'Neal. Exactly. That's the point I'm trying to make. Yeah, you're right, probably. Were you wearing, what kind of...

Were you wearing just a little brooch as a tie? No. It wasn't weird that later that night? Oh, there's Jay. There's a little Jerry. There's a scene. This will make me cry. What is this?

Angus. This is you. Yeah. I gotta go rewatch this. Super tight with his grandpa. Grandpa dies in the movie. Grandpa took care of him. A little goofy friend.

I'm fading to you. Who was like his best friend. They just kind of hung out together. And then he likes this girl and everyone's mean to him. And then he gets this one moment with her. Right. To you. Did this happen to you that night?

No. I did have my dance with the girl I liked a lot in high school. And she was not as into it as this girl is in the movie. Yeah. Fuck you, James Vanderbeek. I still hold anger towards the actual actor for the way he treated Angus. You guys have the same sleeves, too. Go for it, Angus.

It's the line. Is that Dan? Is that that little nerdy guy, Dan? That's my friend Randy Hankin. Ah, that is you, dude. You're a little cutie. Totally. And you know what's funny?

After this day of the whole moment, he's having his great time and then she definitely after the movie goes back to James Vanderbeek and never did anything more than kiss him on his cheek that is high school and that that's reality of high school so she's basically slow walking you through this

do this do this but while she's doing that was awesome when you start hitting she's telling me what to do and telling me correctly everything right away so when I'm doing it she's reacting which was awesome She was getting into it Yeah, so I was definitely boned up

That wasn't an issue at all Did you wear she had the rubber and all that She taught you had to put that on Yeah Yeah, how was that? Wait, did we use a condo? You weren't raw dog Your mom taught you nothing

Yeah, maybe, I don't remember No, I probably used a condom Because I didn't come So probably used a condom Why didn't you? You were too nervous It wasn't gonna happen Yeah, you eat too much pasta

I was too fold up of pasta He ate too many meatballs You're fucking tub of shit Who goes to eat meatballs A fucker pasta before they fuck for the first time? Dude, if I know I'm going to fuck at night, if I know for sure I'm going to, I don't think I eat all day. No. Oh, after.

Yeah. That's fucking hilarious. Such a nervous chubby guy move. Well, we went and got Piscetti. And then I went over there. Yeah. And then, so then, but the thing went to me when she went down on me. Yeah.

First time that's ever happening, too. Oh, you had the, this is the first blowjob. Yeah. Wow. So it was. Did that, did that, that's. Did that freak, you knew about blowjobs. It's not like, you're like, why are you doing that?

What is this? Your mouth? That's strange. No, Bobby, I've been watching pornography for many years before this. So this is what you, that's what you wanted mainly, right? That must have blown your mind. A blow job? No, it wasn't what I wanted mainly.

I went the fuck. Mainly. Missionary. Or her on top. I don't know if she got on top that night, went from behind, definitely missionary. But the funny thing always is a fart and all this stuff. That's what I tell on the top. the story with the joke like she went down and started like when she was like she gave me a blow job

she was 22 but she was like already giving a blow it was working balls and shit right and when she started licking my balls we were ready to find out my balls then they have they're fun since now they're fine I've been around the block a few times now but at the time ticklish as hell your balls yeah and I thought I was going to fucking piss and I was biting my lip not to laugh and I farted a little. But luckily, I think the sounds of Enigma flashed it out. You, your balls were ticklish as a little, your little... Can you hear this, Bobby?

Be honest. Yeah, I heard it. Yep, I heard it. I don't know if was that loud. Hang on. Yep, I heard it. Hang on again. Yeah, I heard it.

Oh, shit. Did she stop? Huh? Did she just stop? I never acknowledged it, and I just thought she didn't notice. That's a pro move. That's a pro move.

And then we fucked and then I eventually made cum noises and went in the bathroom. But when she went, can I slow you down a little bit? When she went down on you, are you standing or you on your back? Back. You're on your back, yeah.

So you're on your back. No pillow under my head. Even like to look down, just complete staring at the ceiling. Like the operation game. It's like just waiting for, I'm trying to fucking take out my knee bone and blow me. It's like an...

My nose goes off. An apparition? Like a ghost sucking your dick. So you have no idea. You're not even looking at it, right? You're just feeling it. And then you realize that your balls are ticklish. Yeah.

Because they've never been touched by a tongue or anybody else. Certainly not talking to me myself, I'm sure. But to the other... Look, it's the same thing. I can't tickle my own feet. Somebody can tickle my feet. Right. You know what I mean?

It's a mental thing there. So like... So now that's... doesn't bother you because you've had your balls lick so much. Oh, my balls have been chomped and flipped and nibble. Absolutely. Do whatever you want, dude. Grab each one and do this.

You have weightlifter hand nuts. So she's going down on you. You start to get ticklish and a toot, a little meatball toot comes out. And are you panicking that the smell? Are you worried about the smell? Yeah. And was there any smell? No.

It's never going to acknowledge. It would all thank you. I just went up and, like, kind of unnoticed. But I did fart in her chin. And that, because I would think that the first blow job would make you nervous, too, because what if you come before you have sex? Yeah, well, the fart helped that.

The fart did knock the comeback a little bit. I was worried about that, for sure. I think that's all, I've strangely, I think a lot of guys have said they back to stuff, I've strangely not come from sex many times. And not have been like the nights of failure necessarily. I was just like, it ain't going to happen for some reason. Do you know what I mean?

It's like mental usually. It's kind of like, and it's that. It's like something that's new maybe. And you're like, fuck, I don't want to come super fast. And then you don't come at all somehow. You kick it so far down the road that you're like, oh, I don't know where I'm at now. Right. Yeah.

Because what I will eventually get is the, I'm, going too long. Like she's over it. Now I'm like taking forever. Yeah, you're in your head. It's like you went to, well I'm saying, this happened as an adult many times. Then I'm like, oh, they hate this because I'm taking too long. Like they didn't want to be too fast.

Now I'm getting into too long where it's just soreness and waiting. Also, if someone asks you, like, are you going to come? You're like, fuck, bye, nope. I'm going to leave. It's such a, I've had girls do that too. Are you going to come? And we're like, it's such a passive-aggressive dick thing to do. I'd rather you go, hey, let's try another day.

Oh, let's, hey, let's stop, or it's tell me that you're hurting or you don't want to do it. Don't say, are you going to come? If you ask, what could I do to make you come, might make you come. Maybe. If you word it better. Yeah. The wording of, are you going to come, makes you go, it's like, hey, you know, I got other shit I got to do. Like, is this going to be over?

And even if they don't mean it that way. That's exactly how I'll do. This is how you switch it up, ready? instead of hey you're going to come it's baby i want you to come so fucking bad i want you to come all over my fucking everything right come in my fucking mouth right now i want to that would make me come yes yeah yes that was good catch you guys next become the bonfire is everybody hard you know what you say yeah yeah i do look at you yeah well it's just it's just tone you know it's it's a simple wording Like I said, if you make it seem like, if there's like a dot, dot, dot, dot to your sentence of like, hey, man, you know what I mean?

Like, is this, are you almost done? Yeah. Yeah. Sox. Yeah, sucks. All you got to do is grind your teeth a little bit and get angry at my dick. Like, you fucking, I'm going to get to come out of this little fucking pecker right now. Fucking get mad at my dick.

Don't get mad at me. You're fucking. Yeah, like, put out there in the world, I don't want people to say, give me your come out of that little pecker to me at all. That will not make me come. Give me the comment of that little pecker. I go, what? My jerk would slow down. I go, what?

Why are you saying? What? How is it? I'm going to suck the come out of your little tainty tiny pecker. Is that what you want, Bobby? You want to be ashamed? Is that what you're training on you to do? To shame your little penis?

What's up, you little pigtail weiner, quief? What do you want? the time of day hey it's 503 you lady boy so poor holly so let me ask you question molested well in two or 20s yes fucking what so when do you stop calling it molested though and you start calling it sex with your uncle 21 so so she goes down and you your balls get tickled you toot and then does she just go on now you're hard at this point you have an erection oh yeah and you're in your head because of the to No doubt.

Right. And now does she get on top? Does she, what's the first move? I don't remember. I think we only fucked from behind and me on top. Now does it pop out a couple times? No. No.

He didn't have that thing where she's like, I got it, I got it. Not that I remember now. So you're pumping away, and when do you call the game? Who calls it and when do you? It was definitely from behind. I was able to make the fake. Oh, you fake come? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I just made the noises. What's the noise? Can I, can you remember? remember the noise oh i do it that's pretty good that you have a recording of it wow that is fucking holy shit that would make any girl happy powerful yeah yeah and then i but then only a little comes out can i hear it one more time wow and then just like and then like in front of the camera where you just see load slide down.

And then you had a fake wipe-up load? I believe it was a condom because I think I went in the bathroom and just threw the condom off and been like I came in the condom. You know, you know, spit in the condom. You didn't check. Just in case you checked.

You flush a condom in a hotel. It gives a fuck. Yeah. Well, back then we didn't know about septics. Yeah, we didn't know about that shit. I wonder if it's why that hotel's gone now. You never hear about a holiday and going under

I sent it down my fucking that is always the funniest thing that I never tell when I tell my virginity story which I've told a bunch

but like it's always left out is that we went for fucking to Philly Diner which Christine's aware of she's been there before.

Did you get the we should go there and get the meatballs of spaghetti she never been there for dinner oh we should go there I love it just lunch

Is it good? Oh their open face with girl Rubin's fantastic Is the meatball and spaghetti Piscetti any better? I don't believe it was very good

from what I recall I think I just didn't know what to do. I think I was broke. I think I was spending most of my money on that hotel room, honestly, at that time. And I think I probably had, like, I probably had like a $40 budget or $30 budget for dinner, you know?

And, like, you know, she was a kid too, technically, so she was broke, and we just was like, get some spaghetti meatballs. You can have some, like, toasting jelly or whatever. It's so funny that all the waitresses were probably like, look at the little cute couple. He took her on a date, not knowing that he was going to be farting

in her face in around 45 minutes. A little ticklish nuts. Philly diner. A little heavy on the garlic.