The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Megan Thee Stallion vs Pete

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

Pete Davidson conquers women like a prizefighter, so the guys came up with a challenger that will knock his block off!

On Big J. Ocarson, I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to full two-hour long episodes of the Bond Fire? Two hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Dude, if I don't dance, I'm gonna die.

Something ain't right. Something went wrong. I know this are H. Gapdan, but feel it in your shoulders a little bit can you just give it a little something? No dude, this is how I scored one of my walks to fourth grade Get y'all south good walking with a hit Walkin' in your hands doing a Rick Flair strut. Do a couple spins and points What's up everybody? It's the Bonfire Faction Talk Series X I'm one of three on Big Jail Chris and that's Dan Soder. Hello, we're doing it. Give him some fresh coffee.

I did my last week's water. Yeah, still cold. Thank you, Black Lou. I assume you sat on this the entire weekend. That's like a, that's like body builder amount of water. Crushin' a gallon of day, dude. Yeah, you look like you're going in here. Super hydrated.

Crushing about a gallon a day. I had a guy, the meathead at the gym say that to the girls. You stay in hydrated? Yeah, yeah. Fucking pussy. You don't want to know if they're wet. Stay in hydrated? Stay in hydrated baby girl?

How you doing? What are your wallet levels? I want to know it again And there was that girl who who held her pissed to death. So now we all know you have to pee Wait, why drink tons of water? Yes, you hold her pissed to death. I know there's like kids on ecstasy that draft like drank too much water and died I remember that being I never heard that that's gotta be that sounds fake. No, it was a real it was in Boulder fake. No, it was a, it was in Boulder. Boulder, something like,

Rye, something went wrong. Another is the girl. It was a hold your Wii for a Wii contest to win an Nintendo Wii. Hold your Wii for a Wii cost radio. Well, the headline station dearly. Sacramento Radio stunt, go on, be able to cost the radio station and parent company. 16 and a half million dollars, survivors of a woman who died almost three years ago after

Her participation in a radio station's KDND Shed out KDND day. It's not a real old. You're really sure it is Ask a F.I. if it's a real thing Dude, don't you know they're a cave made a favorite and don't besorge their name like that Dude, don't, you know they're a cave made a favorite and don't besorge their name like that. The sort of, hold your we for a week contest. We're awarded the money for a wrongful death suit. I think it's weird to, I guess if they it's their idea,

but I mean, you still do it. But how do you, well how do you get to the point where water intoxication? Okay, that's what you died of. I wonder if there's a moment where you're like, this piss has gone wrong. If you can feel it in your body, where you're like, I'm gonna die now. Or if you're just, because that holding your piss, you get to a brain, you probably get to a place in your brain where you can deal with it for a little bit for a long time. Yeah. But that moment it goes bad, I wonder if you realize it. If you're like, you see, I've just killed myself. Yeah, like, oh, no.

Water intoxication. moment it goes bad. I wonder if you realize it if you're like, I just killed myself. Yeah, like, oh, no. What a toxication. Or if it's a, did it say if it was over like she was in the hospital or did she just drop dead? I'm sure you probably go the hospital and there's the contest promise was you can drink the most water without you're needing a vomiting. Oh, she could have thrown it up too. It was filed on behalf of this. The lawyers played audio of the show from the day the contest. The jury heard a disc jockey's making fun of contestants getting sick. That's where we get juggle. That's where they're nailed. I'm telling you right now if there's any of the place they can nail J and I, it'd be

right there where they go. Shock-jocken? They played the heck. We got them on two counts of shock-jocken. Me and they are found guilty on two counts of shock-jocken. That Russian kid whose mom's had got taken off in the Jeep Just puts a case together 15 years ago. I went to your best law schools to learn. Yes. Remember our contest

Try not to shit for Columbus day It's a no poop turkey day, and then we just make you drink protein shakes, and eat fibrous meals. That I would love to, if they had like morning radio show voices, if it changed the next day, you know, where they're like, hey, we're here. You know, hold your pee for a while. Sorry, guys, got a little guy to control back there with that holding your pee contest.

Lost one, lost his phone soldier. Or is it more somber, he goes, is uh this is rager roger I can't do the name I can't do the voice today that's the day he doesn't use the name of us Roger Roger raging roger some you know me is raging roger but the uh we lost someone looks like today the rage the rage is slowed down to a to a somber more Anyway, don't forget there's a ten thousand dollar giveaway. We'll be right back with Manitory Metallica It's show your boobs Yeah for room five tickets

And we're gonna take a quick commercial break and when we come back it's time to get the lead out We're gonna have a quick commercial break and when we come back it's time to get the lead out We're gonna have a love you break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean you do a stunt like that and someone dies like well What's the insurance looking like on this if I'm here if I'm someone calls every week and goes hey Maybe you guys killed a girl if I am a family member of that girl. I'm pumped Because I'm like we got it that girl, I am pumped. Because I'm like, we got it. You have a company. If someone dies that's close to you and a large company is involved, that has insurance, that's one of the griffs

that I learned from Trish. It's like, it's why Tracey Morgan Jr. is the head of Walmart now. He's got stock options. It's like him and that family that own Walmart. They're all on the board. Tracy Morgan Jr. is married. Samantha Walmart.

Did you ever see that in 30 Rock where he would come up with Tracy Morgan. Tracy Jordan's character had a son that would just come up with very bad business ideas. And he would do them. And Tracy would invest in them, but then Jack Donoghie starts listening to him to their fucking players. Look him up. I don't want to butcher him but he's like he just named something that's already a company and the idea and his son's like no it's just good money. You have to play the clip right here. He's pitched this as a restaurant ideas. I'm just practicing sitting Tracy. Why did you never try to find your father?

Oh sorry. I don't know. Go back to the other because I'm saying there's one more there's more like a You just like invest in a restaurant. It's called a comfort air. Yeah, there it is Yeah, you can't you know what I'm talking about right the name of the companies are the funniest. That's why I don't want to fucking butcher it Tonity no one knocked you just barge The watching episode of the show ever you really have great show. I mean I think this is probably one of the best written shows of all time It's so fucking funny Here it is You write Donald it makes more sense for you to enter first. It's okay daddy. We'll just start over You know, why don't we just die then to, uh, whatever this is?

Okay, you remember, Donald? My son, who's two years old in him? Ah, yes, please. So the whole point of the episode is like, this guy's clearly swindling Tracy Jordan, but the restaurant pitches are so fucking funny. Call him. He may be Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.

You wouldn't believe this, but that business failed. I blame Obama. But the good news is, Donald has a brand new venture. Sell them, son. It's a theme restaurant in Times Square. Well, the theme restaurant business model does work. NASCAR's Fat Load Cafe is a gold mine. We got a bunch of capital from Brown and Folderson,

and we wanted to get you a seat on this rocket before it takes off. So it's decided Jackson boy as an investor. Not so fast. So it's decided. Let's just bottom line this thing. I never invest without doing it. They're fucking around.

I forget what I wanted just to find out what the restaurant name was. I didn't mean to make you guys listen to an episode of 30 Rock. That makes show easy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's the problem with this being your stone or fall asleep show, as you just know, the concepts as you're going to sleep. Watch 30 Rock.

You'd love it. Yeah. I think you'd love it. I'm glad that joke didn't pay off either. I think they could. I'm glad we walked all the way there. I'm going to watch it on commercial break and find the fucking restaurant. I tell it angry. They pulled one episode and so did community they pulled an episode. Yeah, why I think it's the Jenna

Blackface episode. Oh Is blackface the thing now You can't do blackface now and then community I think they pulled a You can't do black freeze now and then community. I think they pulled a hilarious rape It's a done dragon's episode There's a whole episode where you're like oh my god, dude. I didn't realize community didn't rape like that Well, I saw a thing about a I guess they're all back now on Disney plus maybe or not, but

One of the streaming services took a lot of episodes of boy meets world that because I never watched that show But apparently boy meets world like by the time What's her name? Maitlin Ward was on the show. Yeah, there was episodes where it's like kid loses virginity and him into pangal like fuck or it shows them Almost like trying to fuck the first time then deciding not to but like I didn't know the show got very sexual and they pulled a bunch of those Boy meets world episodes. I never watched it. After she, that kinda sucks. By the way, the joke was like,

I remember the restaurant, he was like, it's in Times Square, it's a theme restaurant, it's called Staples. And he was like, you can't name it Staples. And then it's like, they just keep doing jokes like that. Where it's already successful companies, it's called JetBlue. And he's like, you can't,

there's already a company called that. Sorry. It shot through my resin. You very upset. I was upset at my own brain, because I was don't have to be. What was the fucking restaurant? Something funny happened this weekend that really made me laugh.

We were leaving the club. And it was a while after the show was over. We hung out. I did an informal meet and greet outside, bullshit with people, smoked weed hung out. And then when me and John Carden, we were gonna walk back to the hotel, because I got a piss really bad.

And I was like, just pissy, you're gonna like next to the comedy club. Like just pissy, I'll kind of cover you from the street. And like there was really nobody coming at all. It was middle of the night, there's all those homeless across the street, but they're doing their own thing. They're over there. I'm living in the countryside. I got my cup of tea. Poor jump pulls his wiener out and starts, I mean just starts to go and three guys on scooters start coming down the street and I'm like I'm going three Hispanic

guys on scooters and I was like when these guys drive by the funny thing I'm gonna do and I was like you just taking a piss back here like funny. Yeah, zoom by Dude I go It's Johnny's taking a piss. They stuff they go big J. Dude. We had such a great time with the fucking thing Start talking to John and John's got a weiner in hand looking so fucking great guys had no There's like pat him on the back while he's trying to go and then he had to like just put his dick away half piss It was so awful. Wait, so he so he stopped when they started talking No, because now he was he was going

He I think a squirter two came out because if I'm going if I'm already going I could probably make it through Dude I won't be so weird because you know when the piss starts leaking out And he's just going bot between my across the street. It would be going towards those guys Well, they're just telling them to move. It was just a weird set of, I was going to do the joke no matter what and they ended up being three guys who were at the show and really wanted to talk about it for a few minutes.

And they did not mind that John had his wiener out in the corner. And then I think they touched him at one point. Like, there's Johnny Man. Was John frustrated after? Was he like, oh, yeah. Well, I mean, like it was sweet. Those guys were sweet and we took picture of each other.

No, but I'm saying if you get a piss interrupted, sometimes you walk away from it frustrated. But then we are walking and on the corner, he's like, I'm gonna piss her around this corner. All right, come on, two girls that were hanging out all night that are like hammered and they're like hugging each other, like two 40 year old ladies that are hugging each other. And just like, yeah, crying about whatever. And then they're like, I other, like two 40-year-old ladies that are hugging each other. And just like, yeah, crying about whatever.

And then they're like, I'm like, hey, girl. And it's like, just them and the homeless outside. And I was like, are you guys like taking an Uber home? And they're like, yeah, we're getting in an Uber. And this was pretty funny to get rejected through somebody else. I didn't ask nothing like this. I go, oh, wait, you're Uber's gonna minute away. I go, oh, wait for your uber's in a minute away. I go, oh, wait for you here to get an uber. And you're like,

oh, that's really sweet. You don't do that. And then the drunker of the two goes, where is their hotel? Let's go back and party their hotel. The other girl who's more sober goes, oh, she's like, no, I don't, I'm not a comedy groupie. I'm not going back to some hotel and doing this or that or you know, I was like, I'm even asking to come. Your friend suggested that. I didn't say anything. I said, we're waiting for your Uber to get here. I'm not some dirty, jekky through some things. I'm not going to lower myself to bang these two shrub pieces of shit. I don't know. I feel like I'd wake up tomorrow riddled with regret. We said, I'd wait for your Uber to get here.

So you're safe. Being a gentleman, but anyway, then he had to wait for the Uber. And then when the Uber left, he like, hall dashed to a plow. I couldn't find him for a few minutes. He had to go find somewhere to piss. I wonder if he got the shakes. I wonder if he got the, oh, I bet that was a good one. He held it in probably a good 15 minutes after having a few squirts already come out. That's pretty impressive. That's the part that I don't understand because once you started, now I could stop it if it's a situation with three fans pull up right next to me. I'm going to stop it. I can't believe they still want to shake

hands and high five and take pictures. Yeah, I'd stop. Well, that means it was a great show. Say it fun. And they're like, Oh, I don't mind that you're just holding on to your chair right now. Thank you Salt Lake City you time. I know Dania go in there and march everyone's very excited Thank you you talk for restoring my faith and comedy after that well Miami weekend. Oh man going after Miami This all like is day and night a couple of salt three of the shows were sold out the other ones were Big crowds and fantastic. Why is this guy's rules? Keith the fucking awesome dude man. The whole the staff there's great.

I love why I can't say enough good about wise guys. The audiences were fucking unbelievable. It's always great when you know you're going to a club. I was at Zany's Nashville and it's like just one of the best clubs. You just know you're having a fantastic fucking weekend. Got to see Andy Pace. Nice. And then our friend, our buddy Marcus King came by. That's awesome. On Saturday and hung out for a show, Saint Germain was with me.

Yeah, it was really cool. Him as fiance and a friend came by for the late show Saturday. Who's the... He wrote a song for Dan. He did. Dan, what do you think? What's his name?

It's called Big Headed Nine Toes. The whole story of my life. It's called big big head and big headed nine toes The whole story of my life. It's pretty cool. I only found one cow boy hat to fill my weary head I can't find a hat They it was funny shape, but then I got to go watch McDaniel coach the dolphins in Miami yesterday against the brown She's notes. I did I told them more run. I said score a lot of points like you did today. It helps. Blitz Quiro.

Hey, it really helps when you score and they don't. Um, yeah, that's so awesome. There's cool, man. It was really cool. They beat shit at Browns. It was fun to watch. So funny last week. Those guys, man, when I was like, my buddy's like best friends with a head coach of

your team. He's like, I'm friends with every kill. want to see pictures? Yeah. Uh, okay. He was, uh, you just, it's crazy to see somehow tired. He was after We got to his house. We like eight dinner and hung out and he was like, it's gonna make the players feel on the way to shit. What? How tired he is. I mean, game to like, uh, we were the running, dude. Yeah. It just like talking to him about all the decisions you have to make. You're like, fuck. Is your arm tired from lifting the microphone in front of and in front of your mouth? Yeah, he's like just watching his face be fucking super.

You know what I mean? He was like wiped and he's like, yeah, I've been like thinking about this one game all week, just like not sleeping. I wake up at like three in the morning to go to work. My Jesus. Every day. Yeah. It's like doing radio shit.

Dude, he was like, this is my first, you know, when we were hanging out at his house, he was like, this is the first time I get to be a head coach, so I got a fucking, make something happen. Does he have a statue pissing? Like a baby pissing statue? That's success. And my amy.

And my amy it is. In the backyard and no bodily water absolutely Into a saltwater pool. Yeah, I does he have a full-size shark in his house Not yet. He said he's getting one Is he even living in Miami? Does he have a yacht? Yeah, I see on star island Does he have a marine out back of his house where he parks his yacht? What is he doing down there? What he's not even living his life. You're so wonderful. I wonder if he loves, I mean, like, how could you not? You'll love wherever you go

if you're the head coach of that place. Oklahoma City would be a great place to be a head coach of the city. What's funny watching changes, like, I'm still a Ninersam and he was with the Niners. So it was like shared like, well, and then he leaves and you're like, should you miss the night? Or she's like, no, but Dolphins. You know what I'm like, but it's like, fins all day, dude. Yeah, and you're like, but remember when you were coaching my favorite, like, yeah, Joe Montana's gay, dude. I've told him for years.

I told Steve, Steve Young aggressively try to kiss me. I go, don't say that. Yeah, Jeff Garcia tried to rate me three times in camp. But no, your gay get away from me. Yeah. I know. But watch, times in camp, but no, you're gay. Get away from me. Yeah. I know, but watch because if you know 10 years from now takes over the Eagles Yeah, that'd be great. And then you're like I fucking love you. I mean, it's like that's cool, Mike Dayow By the way, I've already spent $50,000 on my own box. Fuck you guys I don't need friends and then I'd be like all right. That's a weird thing to say

He's the first meeting person because it's not thing to say upon just meeting each other the first time he goes, yeah, I came in hot a little bit. You seem like good dude. I got some back to present. It's trying to aim it somewhere. Well, it's funny. I mean, circumstantially because of his job, I've never, it's I met far box in Bore, I believe. Yeah, you've met far box in Bore, but Mc's. Yeah, I met them after Skankfest one year. Yeah, you only get two, you get two months to hang with Mike. Yeah. You get like March and April. Well, Tom the pencil of brother.

And when he lived in San Francisco, he would come by the punchline. Can I take pictures like I'm drinking pee from the statue? Yeah. I don't know. Let me get in that yard. I'm gonna drink that pee. Can you do my favorite goldens?

If you're statue golden showers me in the back real quick, try to get on the gram. What sucks is he's in Miami and we're just bat. We're just both talking about how shitty comedy is in Miami. So it's not like he can, you know what I mean? It's like if you want to go back to that club, I can send you a lot of money. Well, I was going to say I want if he likes Miami, but you love Miami when you're the head coach of the Dolph. Of course.

How could it be bad? Yeah. I bet everything's first class. Pittsburgh probably rocks if you're running the Steelers the Dolph of course. How could it be bad? Yeah, I bet everything's first class. Pittsburgh probably rocks if you're running the Steelers. 100% of the... My top one thinks Pittsburgh is like a fucking sick city. No, yeah. You're cool.

I don't know if you're in my top 15 pick. Another rainy day, another gloomy day in Pittsburgh of Smog. I guess I'll just go on my indoor pool. Like every city in the NFL, if you're like the head coach, Indianapolis rules, unbelievable rules. You've never seen the shit part of it. Yeah. That's why Denver, of course, L.A. was never seen the barrio of my of Miami. Or he does. That's where he goes to get the fear.

So let's reach it. You heard it here first. No, that's where he goes and just gets like drugs and shouldn't you find out you bring it back like damn dude Wow boy, he's a wild boy machine gun Kelly music dude throwback. Oh speaking of machine gun Kelly and you know his best friend Pete Davidson Oh, yeah, damn man. He got one of your girls Jake That was the guest. That was the joke guess What was it the joke guess? I would say Jacelle and her were the two would you say at this point now? These are is Pete Hollywood inside enough that these are like setups like no It would be good for you guys to hang out maybe oh that I don't know Maybe I think he knew her and her husband. I Can't believe he's one time one time Pete told me like he knew them because he was like, oh, I'm gonna leave out to the

Kyle Skater husband whatever blonde eyebrows blonde eyebrows soft lips According to an invite their verified tips submitted to celebrity gossip. M and MLE are apparently seen getting cozy in New York City. Is there a picture of him getting cozy? Fucking pussy. Whoa.

Yeah, this all chick. I don't know if that's the way to go back. I don't listen. This is good for him. Although when they said Kim Kardashian, I was like, no, fucking way. If it is Emily Ryckakowski, I at this point Like Pete's just he just acquiring the numbers to say he fucked every girl in Hollywood and just be that guy because there's Emily Rattakowski really

What are they talking about? She's a knit wit. You're a talk No, I think how we're starting to interview it's ridiculous. I think Pete took her away from Brad Pitt. I think that's the rumor. Is it a rumor? Because I know I just saw her. She and Brad Pitt were dating and then come look up this morning. Because you know me. I'm part special needs so I use the email.

Yeah. And they put up a dumb celebrity story is like right on their front page. Well, I just remember reading that Brad Pitt was dating her. Yeah, I was dating Birdlines girl. Well, there's a mystery man. Not anymore, Dan. Damn. Now there was a guy. There was a guy after Brad Pitt. Don't fuck with me.

I'll take Angelina to well, it says there was a girl after that guy right here is a mystery guy after Brad Pitt. So he took him from a mystery, took her from a mystery guy. Damn, dude. Imagine being in between Brad Pitt and then Pete Davidson and you're like, and then Kevin. He's like, hey, I work over at a, I work over at an investment firm, just met her at a bar. Jay Farrow confirms Pete's big dick. Interesting. That's so funny that they're having people on the news to confirm it. Like it's the lock and ass monster. Hey, hey, Jay Farrow. Hey, dude, can you, can you have Will Smith tell me that Pete Davidson has a big

You know, I don't even know, but I'm gonna make fun of this. I've talked about my other friends big huge dicks before. Yeah, Kurt Metzger Kurt Metzger. Yeah, for sure. Uh, going. But I'm saying the fun with Jay Farrow is having doing an impression. Yeah, I have Denzel talk about how big pizza. Yeah, you're missing an opportunity. I as a fellow voice. Oh, I'll give it up now. Yeah, let me see.

It has a perfect. A part. Okay. It's got a big dick also and and and Dan Soder. No, I don't. I don't. I do not.

Dan, I know you're insurg insured you do what they do in high school which is weird you do what they do in football high school programs what's that where you like rape the kids no three rape jokes today already did you so bad dude my itching better watch out

I forgot to get raped maybe you always live on the edge I really do you know what an edge Lord I am you're the Lord of the edge. You know what's up? Jacob something about raping you want to talk about? No, I mean, told me he's such a big penis, but I heard a rumor that he One woman was angry with him Confirmed over you're such an asshole and then

It's a sorry and then banged her again anyway. You're this puppy. Yeah, who told you that story your friend? And then I'll hold on and then she's you know, it's almost like Fine, but you're still an asshole. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're gonna give up nine exactly. I'm just a meat like that's the Power of where gigantic penis. How'd you hear that? You inside scoop Oh What's the power of where gigantic penis? How'd you hear that? You? Inside scoop. I believe it. Oh, sorry.

I know who you're talking about now. Yeah, okay. Yeah, basically. Oh. Yeah, yeah. All right. The original. Yeah, this is a person we all know.

I know it doesn't, so funny because it doesn't matter to the world and don't worry everybody. It's not the person I care about. It's the power. If we told you the name. You just want to be able to wheel that. Just to be to be you want to be you want to be a dickhead Do a girl that she comes back for more of your didn't even like Went back for seconds. Okay. It's like when it's like when you go to a restaurant that's mean to you, but the food was awesome And you go it's not see

He's like shake hands with Sunni and Annie's deli And you go, it's soup Nazi. He's like, I think of shake hands with Sonny and Annie's deli. He's village. I've had to make peace with them. Cause their food is more good. Their sandwiches are top notch. Yeah, got that good dick. It's just like a good home dish.

Yeah. Good, good. Yeah, and they're like, I'm gonna go back. Get that goody, goody. You go, after work, might stop by and get that. See if it's available. Get me a little something. If you have a big penis, a woman will try and make it work. Yeah. You know? Yeah, look, give it a shot.

I can't stand you. I mean, they're in a cut. There was a girl that dated Kurt that was around the comedy world that one time went when I think about it, I sweat. And I was like, Jesus! Yeah, also because I've just known Kurt since we were essentially teenagers. Yeah, also like I've seen Kurt fuck and it really is hilariously How like I mean if you're fucking Kurt you getting every bit of that big fat weener first shot in I mean he just fucks like a like a horse like a big goofy machine I think there's like

Zone out remember he said horses don't know how to do it. So it's like, ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh, fuck. It's, yeah, it's just a blank phase. So the ocean, he becomes it.

So the story becomes like, do you think Pete's stories of that are floating around and then girls go single in Hollywood and they're like, it's good, ay, it's good press, you're gonna get a lot of press, you know what I mean? A lot of press. And like, they're also like, my already's got a, if Kardashian sign enough, Kardashian sign enough on his, you know, dick is like everyone being like, well, I mean. Almost every girl, the next girl as famous as she could be, there are people who are planning their

careers to fuck people. No, you're not wrong. It's what I'm saying, because as famous as they can be, like everyone is fine to be, no one's like, I'm above fucking the scraps of Kim Kardashian. She's like the it girl of two decades. Yeah, and if you're a guy, I mean, if Pete has any of that in him of like being proud of being like, see what they do these bitches.

I'm just saying, but now he can walk up to, I mean, that guy can walk up to Jennifer Aniston and be like, you wanna? Yeah. And now he's like, see what they do these bitches. I'm just saying, but now he can walk up to, I mean that guy can walk up to Jennifer Aniston be like, you wanna? Yeah. And now he's like, I don't. Never mind that. Sorry, Jack, your career's going downhill. I want you to go do another noximal commercial.

She's, she's not even a great example because you go to the younger one. It doesn't matter. Any young like hot, I think. Yeah, young, he ran through Kelly Cuoco. That was just like a- His list is insane. For like a month or two while they were doing a movie

We just laying it out on her. Yeah, it on him, dude Hey, what I went through the entire roster of TGIF the old line up. I'm trying to get all the fun My ambiala because why not because I love the jeopardy. I think she doesn't want a job hosting Jeopardy but you know, I'm staying like Pam Lannerson would kill somebody to fuck Pete Davidson. Cause now I would big her relevance again. Yeah, dude. Also do you think him and Jeter meet up? And Jeter's like, I'm still in the game.

Here's what you do. He's like, Jeter's like, I can coach you. I can make you the best. Every one of Pete's is more relevant than Jeter's in. For sure. Relation I'd say. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. like jitter got like, not something about man, the camera Diaz, you know, I mean, it was like camera Diaz,

which is like a, his list is incredible. Yeah, but it's incredible. And he might be breaking it. So you wonder if jitter's going to show up and watch him bang the lady that he breaks it with the way like Maris's family. The generational thing that home run. Where Jeter and his family and his kids are there watching Pete bagging other hobbies. Well, he's having a threesome with Halls and Paris.

Yeah, he goes, high quack suck my dick new egg girl. I'm gonna suck off J. Low's pussy. And he's like, oh my god, it happened. Oh, dodgy cat. I noticed my penis was still on my pants. And then Jeter does the toilet ball quick. And the jeeter does the hat thing like his nephew did. All right, kid. All right. You're fucking a lot of these beautiful sluts. I mean, yeah,

dude, Pete gets them 100% of them. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. It's crazy. It's a guy that we've known since he was a teenager became that you know what I mean You're like oh what I was there at the origin story. Yeah, what yeah, I was like he he just has to get in their eye line Yeah, I saw you now so I got you I I got to fuck you. I got I haven't seen Pete's personality and in social dealings in many years this point. Yeah, I have to say but like I still feel like He's sitting at a play a party. He claimed he didn't really want to go to and said he would swing by and I just picture these women See him and come up to I don't think he's walking up like I don't make a shoot my shot with Emile Rattakowski They come shoot their shot with him. You know, it's crazy Pete does if you wanted to weaponize him

With a box for the box. What were the bots and fuck it? But I'm saying It's just how you want me to go sedusa But I'm saying you can have a walk up to one of your enemies, right? And then shake his hand and go I'm not to meet you and then lean and go I'm saying you could have a lock up to one of your enemies, right? And then shake his hand and go, I'm not to meet you and then leave you and go, I'm gonna fuck your wife. Yeah, I'd be like, cuz you would almost be like, wait right here. I'm gonna have her. I'm gonna towel it.

Yeah, I'm gonna split her like a log of wood. Yeah, you can't do that. You have to be confident to walk with your gal and to her room with him, I guess. Dude, I'm gonna dress Cadian a-ha-jeep. I don't know, full muzzle for Katie and a Haji. Or whatever. I'm gonna go full muzzly for fucking Katie if she's ever on beat. Hell yeah dude.

Sorry Pete, you can't see her long hair. You have to cover him. The job, that's what it's called. You have to cover him. Yeah, hey Pete, keep the dick outside. This guy to lean outside. But you smell the cigarette. I smell the matcha guy. I'm coming. Pete, come in. You go, you smell. It starts to make you cry.

I got it. Pete, come in. You go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,

you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go. You know, it's a real mishabasha, back in style. Yeah, I mean, it's a good, let's do that. Let's take it off the top of the,

Ariana Grande, Emily Radikowski, if it's true. I mean, Kim Kardashian are. Cassie David. No, okay, but that's Cassie David. Cindy Crawford's dog. That kills you. Cassie David's dog, kill you. Maybe your favorite.

That's your personal favorite list, but I'm saying for cheese, like that's way below his, not look some talking about, just as status level. Her curating is not what they call it. Is that what it is? Someone's fame rating. Check that. Check that.

If it's called curating. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Like he for sure. Like Cassie David's like out of the mix now. Yeah. Cindy Crawford's model. When you're dead. Yeah, but I mean, dude, I remember him when sure, like Cassie David's like out of the mix now. Yeah, Cindy Crawford's model. When you're dad, yeah, but I mean, dude, I remember him when he was dating Cassie David, it was still Pete and I were still talking pretty regularly.

And he was like, yeah, Larry's like trying to teach me golf. And you're like, and by the way, he always, he always had the better dad when we were friends, like when we hung out a lot. I mean, that joke in my HBO special is about it. He's about one of the people that I know whose parents died in 9-11, and I'm like that's so much cooler than the way my dad strength himself to death near a lake.

But Pete would be like, oh yeah, it's pretty cool. Well, you know, my dad, like doing a ceremony at the giant stadium for my dad, dying or whatever. And you're like, oh hell yeah, that's awesome. Okay. Okay. And then then he'd be like, I don yeah, that's awesome. Okay. Okay And then then you'd be like I don't want to have sex with all the hottest girls in the world. Yeah, I feel pretty bad about tomorrow I'll solve it all that it's gonna be pretty sad probably after the trowel it and who's your favorite female

I'm gonna save Jessica Albus though I swing by see if I a break off Alicia Keys. A lot of thought maybe I'll know. A cue rating is a scale measuring the popularity of a person or thing they typically based on dividing. Yeah. So it's a rating for how popular people are. And do we find me in Dan's?

Oh man, this is going to hurt. Probably. Yeah, it is funny. It's like a negative 10. Peach list is just incredible. Yeah, if that's a million years ago at this point, do you know what I mean? She was like the it girl at the time.

I mean, she's still a crazy famous. She's not even what it's crazy. She's like at the time, she was like, when Pete was whether she was up for MTV awards and performing in every award, she was like in the mix ticket. Right now she doesn't put an album on. I'm saying what we've done is we've crossed,

we've crossed the line of Pete being like a maiden man, Hatton, you know, where it's like just a regular guy. I'm banging this Diva pop star or whatever it is where it's like, she, you know, like a bad romcom where it's like, she's a worldwide celebrity. He's just a guy from Staten Island. And now it's like, he can start nighting bitches with that big dick.

Oh yeah. Almost worries, but you are gonna have 20,000 Instagram followers and he hits it on their other shoulders. I just think it's funny that he's a- He's standing up and now you are the Duchess of Davidson. In the picturing of it, it's funny to me, not so much fucking them, because why don't you fucking year in the throes of it? It's funny to me not so much fucking them because why don't you fucking you're in the throws of it

He's presented as weener to every girl you've ever seen on television at some point on like Hey, oh, hey, yeah, it's a bottle of like a vintage that they show You've heard the rumors not treat yourself Now you understand Kate back itself liked the middle of it But what's hard is all around the ground they find that became painful around this part. Yeah, she's Kate Beckins. That was pre-mounted pauslet. So I did a little bit of chafing up on this part. Now you know mine is pro little I just put a little cream on that. Kim took a bottle. She probably could have took two. God damn, to go through it, go swing up through the list,

because I think we know all of them. Carly Aqualino. She's no list. Look at that. Shout out Chris. He started dating her right after Christus Stefano. After? Yeah, I mean, Chris like broke up with Carly and then Pete

was dating her. Hmm, daring. I think it was an overlap on that. I think that was the thing. I was, again, in a zillion years ago now. Cassie David, keep going. I think it was an overlap on that one. I think that was the thing. It was again, in a million years ago now. Cassie David, keep going. Ariana Grande, Gabe Beckinsdale.

Oh yeah, Margaret Qualey. What's her name's daughter? I don't even doubt her. I'm tired, Gerber. God damn, I forgot that one. Holy shit. That's Cindy Crawford's daughter. Yeah.

They're just touching tongues in a picture smiling at a pool. Oh my God. And he's dressed like a Dominican kid that's begging for change. I'm gonna fucking resort. Look, she let a Dominican kid in. It was begging for change. Yeah. He's let him in the gate.

You're like, how thick are you? Are you ready? Pete's always dressed like a fire alarm just went off. He's like, I got outside. I got to get outside. I know. I got to. All right. Quick. Give me that life a dog shirt.

I'm gonna hit that life a Rocco shirt and those sweat pants. Oh, shit. I don't even know. Oh, they asked a foreign girl from some show. Yeah, she's probably famous on an island of whites. Is this a picture from some big show? It's either Australia or in Britain. She's someone with an accent goes, oh, Phoebe's incredible. First of all, being with the girls in Bridget's Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, profoundly large. I would say ripping my insides like try to your penis. I found your member causes great

discomfort right from her to the car dash. I forgot. Hey, you know, I mean, Rattakowski, they've left out. You're right. They left out the Cuoco. Yeah, that was just a conquering, dude. That was a one-off. Damn, dude. And it's the, the nozzles of celebrities that he had peppered in in between that I mean, dude, he's all more celebrities too. He told me I know names of like one or two It are on that list. Yeah, he told me one where I was like one of the ladies that dated Leo He banged and you like told I forgot the name, but he like told me the name and I was like I don't know who that is. I looked around but I'm like what do you it's exactly what you said about this one He's dating now. He's like what do you talk about? It's just our real things like you know what it'd be like if I was trying to explain what's happening on SmackDown to Emily Rajakowski?

I just got to get to understand so like the Usos, alright, they're in the bloodline with Roman Reigns, right? But he like kind of runs the ball on me. He should try to steal and- He should try to steal Megan Markle from Prince Harry. I bet he could do it. I bet he could do it. That's his heist. He does pussy heists. That'd be the best he's to he goes. Oh, he goes. Yeah, she left the Prince for me, but that I was like I got bored. I don't know. I was like

she hasn't really shallow throw. I was like what do you mean the castle doesn't come with you? You don't have the castle. Wait, there's no castle. Any a list there's like a fun month and a half for them of and you're curating skyrockets I mean you're but you're on every website every fucking people want to know they're like talking about it because People love being like he's doing it, and he's just like yeah, I can't be stopped Hit off the I'm the Michael miles of big dick. I'll say this no black one that list. Hmm damn J said it. J. Colt he racist oh Watch him hear this episode ago

He just causes give us a list of them. We don't know about Great one alone. I well took a time machine and banged at least a turtle from say by the bell Megan the stallion was top can't get enough of me That's what I want to be I tell you you fuck card of bail, right, Tom. That's like gonna be the, that's like the super fight. That's the packy out, may weather you want to set up is like Megan the stallion and Pete Davidson. Yeah.

Cause you wonder if she would just walk right through him. Do you? She'd be like, I got brothers in the hood that fuck that throws those haunches on him. Yeah, that is the one I want to, you know what? You're right. That's the big, if G big J was Don King, we would set it up like you're super fight only in America, only in America.

He's got stupendous, courageous, immaculate penis versus the biggest butt with the thickest thighs I've ever seen. Well, let me say this about Pete. Pete really is and all the hype around his dick, while size is there, inarguably, it's been confirmed. He's got the size. The thing is, he's only fucking these delicate goofy whites. Now, he's brittle white. Kim Kardashian was probably his first test,

but I would argue. Did he go style, it was awesome. I'm making the stall, you know, with probably like, like she's fuck guys, they got, forget the size. She's already had that size Yeah, she did guys that give her black rhythm. Yeah Might come in there really She goes what is this?

I Want to go to understand I played basketball but my whole team was white and we only played other white teams She's he's in the NBA. He's got a big dick, but he just gets on top of you and hugs you tight and cries the whole time. Tunes out the... My bad person! Oh! My hey, me! Making the stallions like, I threw him through a wall.

Yeah. It just... Yeah, sorry about the garbage bag on the wall. I fucking bucked Pete Davidson through it. Because eight seconds. No one could last eight seconds. It's crazy. I don't. It's crazy. He goes to pummeling. She came to my dip pair. It's like Clip of Lags first fight in

Rocky 3. Pedestria go to the fucking LA and run on a beach with a black friend. She puts her hands on a headboard and pushes back dude and Pico's flying through a fucking wall. Looney Tune style. Yeah, he's an outline of him. With a big weiner and like a weiner. Also, the weiner is his fucking, it's like his logo's Jordan logos him jumping with a weiner. Yeah, dude, I want to see a super fight. Megan Estallian or Cardi B versus Pete. Megan Stallion is the one. I mean, I think we can all agree. That's the one. I think she's the one. Cardi B probably throws down to good, but she's also got several kids now, I think, right?

Yeah. And she's in the winter of her hoeing career. She's thinking about things like if the thing about Cardi B is if Pete's up in there, even with Pete's monster cock, she starts throwing him. It's a slide out probably situation. Meghan is staring at his no kids, even she's taking those big dick beatings like Pete's up there So he's in the he's locked in so when she starts throwing he's gonna take the lumps

Then he just goes on a like just starts going on tour just doing black comedy clubs and fucking all right y'all I'm gonna try for Megan the star Doing black comedy goes I fuck a black bitch like this Yeah, black comedy goes I fuck a black bitch like this Really you can have stool when I beat pussy every dude like this But why boy come and do it all like what if that's what changes it where he's like he starts eating her pussy and someone goes Oh, he's getting mad. He's getting beat because you're not getting beat. He's getting mad. Oh you eating it daddy. Yeah, that's right back at the style. No, it's I'm a pussy before because my guy's throwing it. I'll say I'm a What you are

Your thighs are caver in my fucking cheeks Come on, Rady. I'm gonna be rumbling around. Yeah, dude, you're right. He's only picking tomato cans. He really is, dude. He's fighting, he's fighting, he's fighting, he's fighting, he's fighting, he's fighting Jake Paul fights. He's, he's, this is fucking, He was all bombs!

He was a bomb. You got those, clever leg. He's all bogus. This girl's, I'm gonna kill me. And I don't wanna be no possible. I want you to come. What are you waiting for?

You can't train me for one more? I'm not gonna be a part. Are you getting killed out there? What is it, proof? I just proved you know it's not just a bunch of these. Someone pointed out that this is a bunch of these tiny white girls are bounded out. I love the sight of it. I think I can fucking think of it.

No. Tell me the truth. Will they all fix fights? No! They weren't fixed fights, but they were investigating bombs. Yeah. They don't eat meat. They order impossible burgers.

You're fucking... He goes, he goes, this girl girls got her own saucy pop eyes Don't you understand you're in trouble. You know what you're up against So I thought I thought I could fuck it all my legacy. I don't know, I lost your drops. I like it's hot. Here you go. You wanna fucka go ahead, but you do it without me. Hey, where you mean? How do you do a mix of Sylvester and Pete with it? I don't know, mom.

Oh, mom. Oh, I just have a ball. Job. Oh my God. I wanna see it. I wanna see the Superfight. That is the Superfight Megan is stealing and Pete. What's that want to see it. I want to see the super fight. That is the super fight Megan is telling Pete I said I picture I

The Just how he hypnotizes a man. I'm just captivated by that. I mean look at her She's like damn Pete you will pay for champion you ducking me You scared and then he goes, he goes, he goes, You made him a Tom in the play, and he goes, Shut up, shut up, out of. He goes, what? I could beat those girls, he goes, you can't.

Hey. She goes, why don't you send your girlfriend over to my house. So, a real woman live. She shows up in his big dick statue, I'm really, Vince that night, I was, you made a real big dick.

Wow, that's a big statue. Pretty cool bronze penis. Yeah, you made a statue for a paper champion. I was gonna talk about. Hey lady, hey lady, that's my mom, don't talk to her. Hey lady. Hey lady, your son was scared. Let's take our first break. Okay, we'll come back You got a stuff that I always love watching especially cuz I took like fucking

Six flights this weekend. Yeah, yikes. I always love when some shit goes down Watching people break Pete take the fight take the fight. Take the fight, Pete. We'll be right back everyone. It's the Bonfire. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bonfire is a radio show, a full show.

We got a studio and everything. You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.