The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Mewling Quim with Mike Finoia

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

Jay claims that he is better than Christine at all athletics. Bob and Jay bragged about hopping over a small fence and made everyone in the studio prove that they could touch the ceiling. Christine claims that she can beat Jay in water sports, roller skating, and yoga. | Bobby accuses Jay of being spineless because he was nice to someone at the Comedy Cellar whom he previously bad-mouthed on the radio. Bob also insists that Jay ignores him in conversations with someone more important. Mike Finoia chose the right day to join the Bonfire where allegations are leveled and settled! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Make me hot, Lou. If you think... We have a guest.

He hasn't joined the show yet. He's on his phone. He's texting somebody. He's busy. We're on the air, Michael. Hey. Mike Fennois is in studio, and I'm glad he's in studio. Why?

Why? Why wouldn't he be? You like, you like... One particularly. You like Jay, right? I mean, I love him. You love him? Yeah. You think you know him?

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, you do. I mean, why. I bet you I don't know him as much as I think I do. Well, I feel the same way, but... No what I mean? Did you really, were you really shocked by this behavior? You know what?

Let me tell you something. What you're standing next to right now? What you're sitting next to? You're sitting next to... Am I going to want to move? Buddy, you don't have to move, because you don't have to move. You don't have to be afraid of it because it's just a spineless jellyfish of a thing. An amoeba.

He's an amoeba. A he's actually the thing in that new movie, Hill Mary, that was eating the sun. Well, wait, wait. I can give you a little precursor to the story here. Sure. Why don't you? In that me and Bobby decided I was off skanks yesterday. So on a Monday, when I know I'm anything, I'm like, oh, well, that would be a night.

Go bang around a comedy club for a second. Say hi. Show my face. Uh-oh. See some people. Yeah, Monday nights, you know, if he doesn't have anything, he's like, hey, what are you doing? I'm going on to hang. I'm like, yeah.

Come with you. We go for an hour. We go for an hour. We hang out. We bust balls. We are getting a little snack. Will, that new joke night with Will Sylvan. Well, we go to the olive tree.

It's a, it's a very fluid thing. Yeah. It's just to go down and be OGs. We drive down. We take a fifth ave. Little traffic. He plays songs. People outside.

People watch. People watch. He plays songs that gets stuck in your head. because he rearranges the song sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I'll rearrange him. And then we had a great night. We parked over by Washington Square Park. It was 420.

Yes, it was. The park was packed with degenerates. If they could have just used a little mustard gas, they would have took a lot of the problems of New York City away yesterday. A lot of the problems would have been handled right in that park. They were lightsaber fighting. But I will say also, there was a black guy with reckless abandoned

doing crazy backflips off a ledge without thinking or caring who was walking behind it on, I mean, he almost made double-foot contact with this other big black guy's face. Yeah. But everyone handled it really calm and cool and collected because of weed. Yay.

It is a performance-enhancing drug. And we did see the Saturday Night Live character, Miss Pat, was actually in the pit too yesterday. Oh, no. What the fuck was that thing? Yeah. I made Bobby film it. I don't know.

like a fat guy with just like a big mustache. Again, I'm always taken back by the, like, the person who goes the other direction. Like, I'll never look cool in any way. So let me be a fucking, look like a fucking figment of someone's imagination. Like, somebody just was designed by a boy's dream. Oh, man. Oh, dude, I got it right here. He should have, like, big bird legs or something.

Like, everything was wrong with this guy. This guy, he had four different bodies to make one body. Here it is right there. What the fuck? I really love this guy. Oh my God. Yeah, he looks like a constable in like a Dr. Seuss book. He definitely, like, talks, like, with a whimsical, like, hello.

Welcome, everybody. Look at him in the crowd. He just sticks out in the crowd. Oh, my God. What a fucking unfortunate. Yeah, he looks like a character in, like, yellow submarine from the Beatles. Yeah. He does, like, a choice of a Beatles drawing.

He actually looks like the sub. It's the same shape as the South. He is a yellow submarine. Well, he's got that unfortunate thing where he wears pants, that show you that at some point his legs stop and somewhere right around upper thigh, gut circle just begins to start. That's what my great-grandfather's body looked like,

but taller in Italian, not so tugboat-ish. He had to make the uncomfortable choice that a lot of fat guys make that we have to make. We all get, is it under the belly or over the belly with the pants? No, no, you're wrong. Show that guy again. You're wrong about the, Santa Christine. You're wrong about that, Bobby,

because the guy absolutely... Just real quick, I hate when you say I'm wrong. It hurts me. I have trauma. You shouldn't, though. I just do. It's just conversational. My thought I was so many to be honest with people.

It's just conversational fun. No, I know. That's over the belt. That's over the belly button. No, no, it's definitely good. I'm not arguing that. I'm saying the difference, you said he has the choice. I'm saying there's a build.

I get you. Like, you're right. Here's the thing. Where is your equator? Yeah. Where is your belt equator? Now, mine, that thing that happens, that circle that starts coming out. I love new fat.

terms, by the way. That circle that comes up for me is, I mean, that far from my dick. So there's a little, there's a God-given line here that I can put my belts at and call that my waist. This poor guy. Even though there's another thing happening over here. That guy's circle starts too low. You couldn't wear pants that low, so he has no choice but to go high because his equator's too

low. He has a planet around his waist. Yeah. Or he's got northern and southern hemisphere. I'm sorry, I'm wrong about it. His equator has to be high. If he went to the, under the belly equator, he's on his legs. If you're him, if you're him, are you ever tucking in a shirt?

Untuck your shirt. I would, no, you can't tuck in a shirt because it's going to immediately become untucked as soon as you move. Yeah. You'd have to get a shirt that attaches to your socks. Yeah. Literally, your suspenders, like on his socks. His equator's not very sturdy. It's not a defined equator.

His equator moves through the day. I mean, this guy, well, he's like, look at that guy. And I was like, that guy, nope, nope. That guy, nope. He does this when he thinks people aren't looking. He does like a, oh, yeah, absolutely. Like a two-handed, like, adjustment on the pants. A real farly.

A real farly to. Real quick. Fat guys wearing suspenders. Is he? No belt suspenders. Yeah, he's wearing suspenders. That's cool. Best.

Leather suspenders. The most comfortable thing because the pants are an inch looser than your actual waist. Why don't you tell me that when I was. fat as shit. Because I could not. I couldn't stand by and watch you wear suspenders every day. Watch my friend Cool Baba. He used to get sucked off in stairwells.

Now it's like fucking... Build a butcher? Yeah. Not even. No, not even. You're going to look at a fucking... I don't know. Like John Wayne Gacy or something.

It's crazy. Fat's Domino? Yeah. Is that cultural appropriation when skinny rip dudes like wear suspenders? Because it's a fat guy thing? No, it looks so cool on them. It used to be a man before... I think it was a country thing.

Because a belt was like a sophistication, like a rich person thing. Do you remember Bill Michaels? They didn't have belts. They had rope. Do you remember Bill Michaels? No. He's a comedian. He's probably dead, but he might be very much alive.

But if I had the guess from when I saw it, but he lost a bunch of weight too, actually. But he was a guy at his heaviest. He used to run a bunch of like bringer shows. He's one of those guys, a stand-up New York. Yeah. But he wore the complete Home Depot. No, that's not him. The complete Home Depot, like, suspender rig.

The iron worker suspender rig. Yeah. Like onesies? Like almost like a... No, no, no, no. Like a construction worker, onesie. No, no, not a onesie. It was still a thing, but it was like,

it was just heavy Velcro around the waist and then fucking... Wow. He was in a union. Yeah. That's like a back brace. My dad used to have to wear one of those. It's pretty... He was single-handedly carrying the industry.

Do you say, call me Big Fat Bobby? BFB. I remember what Joe. road can call me a big fat chubby person or something like that she's called him fat too i was listening to the show and i was like oh bobby he's a big fat person now oh god whoa like like a girdle what is that yeah no i guess like to the yes like that that's what he wore wow all the time yeah that's like some john goodman shit yes oh my god he's so fat yeah yeah yeah he's fat did he wear that under his shirt or oh you have to wear that over your shirt

yes over shirt yeah And that's what he performed comedy. She's put advertising on the front, you fat fuck, like a donut company. He would also wear, again, there's the other big thing. Insert here. It's been, what fat people should do. They should advertise food on their clothes. It's been kind of nice in losing some weight that, like, I like my biohazard, like, orange hoodie or my red body can.

Like, I like those, like putting a little bit of color into it because I always, but Bill Michaels, at his heaviest, it was always like that, like an orange shirt. They give you a couple choices in the fat guy stores. You can go understated or they will be like, do you want to dress like heavy D in the boys? Like a bright yellow. It's like so bright. It's like, do you want to be the loudest or the most understands it? It's basic or fucked up.

Are you committing to this or are you not? That's what you is. It's like, are you committed, are you good? You committed to being a fat fuck? We'll try this on. Because if you're going to be a fat fuck, be the fat fuck who shows up in a very fun, multicolored floral shirt. I love fat fucks that are fun.

To dress fun? Fuck yeah Everybody does I hate a fat fuck That tries to dress thing What about like the bowling shirt Or like the Hawaiian shirt Like the short sleeve

Two different things though Different things Yeah well I'm thinking short sleeve button ups I did the bowling shirt Are good for a fat dude The bowling shirt what the bowling shirt does Is hide your side fat from the front And then your stomach reveals

How fat you are from the side You turn sideways and it's just Yeah because it's usually like a black line Down the side That kind of things you out Yeah That's true With like, you know, flames.

There's nothing worse. Still a problem, even with losing weight, when I see pictures of me sitting on a stool from the side, it's still like where my back is and where my front of shirt is, seems impossible. If I'm built like that, I don't know how I don't have like a 70-inch waist because it looks like this from the side. It's like a complete try.

It's nuts. That's because we mush down into a hamburger when we sit. Maybe because every time they show me from the front now, I'm like, oh, that's not bad. Because like this is kind of fine. When we do the videos here, when Paco does the videos, I always see that I feel good, but then I watch the video, and this is all mush down.

And I tell me. I'm sorry, what the fuck are you left? Funny. Yeah. Funny how. Paco says, uh. Yeah, funny how you cucketuckin. He uses a thing called fat cam on you, which I don't like.

What? He beefs you up. Oh, he uses the fat cam filter? He fat cam filters you. And then sometimes he makes me a bunny. Well, I looked over here one day and you were standing up and I'm like, why is he standing up? And I figured it out.

Of course. Straightened you the fuck out. Listen, Paco gets those cameras in here, dude. You'd be surprised how much of the show. I'm leaning back over here with the thing. Give us some profile. Maybe making my chest a little big. I'm like, so anyway, Kim Congdon, what was that you were saying? You're wearing your Bill Mitchell harness or whatever the fuck had been.

What the hell is his name? You can't find Bill Michaels. Come on. Wait, so why's Jay a squid? Well, here's the thing. Yeah, that's right. He actually couldn't wear suspenders because they'd slide off his bone the shoulders.

DeRosa's? Yeah, because I have a foot. DeRosa has more spine than this fucking guy. What? Absolutely. I'm telling you right now. Absolutely, DeRosa would not have done this. Oh, come on, come on.

DeRosa wouldn't, I don't think DeRosa would have done the opposite of what I did, so we'll get to that a second. He wouldn't do in the opposite, but he would have been like, he would have just disgust it. He would have been like, no, but, you know, blah, blah, he would have had some sort of discussion about it.

He would have discussion about it. He would have discussion about it, and there's the potential that he would have gotten another argument about it. High. High potential. Let me tell you. Why, I got to start the preface, remember, so we walk over to the cellar. Yeah. We go in.

We go in. And we usually go to the cellar, by the way. We don't go anywhere. Let's go to the cellar. Because we're, you know. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, yeah.

I walked in. Are you trying to bring back the hang? Well, we went back in last night. No, no, no. You can't bring that. You go get it to my table? There's a stroke. There's a heart attack.

There's a fucking hearing aid. there's a fucking tranny it's done dude it's done it's done the hang is done there's no hang there's like a little midgety guy there when we got there hilarious kid I walked in and he was sitting down at the end of the thing I just stood over him and stared at his face and he just looked up and then just got up and moved

things were going under the table things were going pretty fun we were having a little flirtatious banter with that same waitress we get every time Marin she's very nice is it Marin I want to say Marin I don't think it is I think I'm right you fucked me last night too What a fucking dick move he did. Can I tell him that real quick?

No, no, no, because at the end, people might think you deserve it for how much you beat me up on this. Oh, what a great night you guys had. It was a great 48 minutes. Every time me and Bobby do this, we do this for an hour and we fucking, I just go, I just don't want to, Mondays, I don't go home or I have to work. It just feels weird to do it. It's the day I put on, like, you know, like, do you see Tuesdays? I wear, like, sweats and shit. But, like, I'm dressing for the day.

it's the first day of the week. I'm like, I just don't want to go right home. And it's the same thing on Wednesdays. I'm just used to doing something afterwards. I want to do something. Even if I just go, hey, let's go down, smoke a cigar, I'll smoke two cigarettes outside of the VU, and then I'll get my car to go home.

Just do something. You got your going out wallet chain home. Yeah. We literally have the same. It's like, okay, let's get out of here, and we're both like, let's go. And we get in. No one's ever said.

Stay. Stay. Staying for a few minutes. Yeah. Actually, this works. It's good. Yeah. No one's ever said, where you going?

That's it. Yeah. No one even asks, yeah, they goes, take care guys. I'm like, yeah, I'll see you another year and a half I get. I never come here. It's falling over me, would you? So, then very fun. What's cool about going there is I'll see people I haven't seen in months or years sometimes.

We did, we did hop over a fence, which was wild. We hopped over a fence, which is pretty. And by the way, we both did really good at it. We both, because they shut the park off. No, no, it was a walkover. It was an undertaker move. And we watched five people do it before us, and we just, you know, kind of figured it. We did it better than other people, though.

Way better. Like one of those. like cop fences? Yes, the plastic. Yeah, they locked. No, not plastic. The metal, like gate fence. That connect.

Yeah. They block in the park. There's only exit in and eggs. They want everybody funneled in. So we walk to the end. Straight poles down so you can get foot a little

between those poles and me and Bobby both able to do that step over. Nice. I have video of it because I'm the fluencer. So I got video of it. I will send you.

Flones took care of it. I took care of it. That's really great that you were able to do that. It's not really hopping a fence, though. Christine, no one asked you. Christine, this is why you don't come. That's why you're not inviting you.

Nobody wants to invite you. No, no, no, Zanches. They're dumb shit. They're high stanchions. They are high stanchions. Yeah, it's crowd. It's controlling a whole crowd of high people from going that way. Christine, if you were in boots and jeans, my going out wallet chain like I was, you wouldn't

have been able to do that that easy. Yeah, if you had a zen in your pocket, an iPhone, I had my badge from Sirius, I had a pen. So, aren't you. hype the fuck down. You guys won't have a fence hopping contest? 100%. Christine, I will beat you in everything athletic in the world. I don't know why you doubt that.

I promise everything athletic I would be you up. I sent you a video. You can watch it and then describe it. You would not be able to hop over this fence the way we did. The way we did. Reckless abandoned. Yeah. I mean, almost like we're parkour.

Christine, what do you think you beat me in athletically? Maybe there's something I'm not thinking of. Planking. Can you plank longer? Distance running, probably. Probably running. No. Stretching.

Anything yoga. Distance running. We're talking about more flexible than you. You're not. My body's amazing. He's very flexible, Christine. I could probably pull my body weight up easier than you could pull your body weight up. I've hopped in natural.

You can't pull your body weight up, though, so it doesn't matter. No, I can't do a pull-up, but. Oh, can you do this? Whoa. She hasn't done that in a long time. I got you. There's no need for her to do that anymore. I need some support behind me, Mike.

I got you. I don't know what you're doing. This, I could be your hero. Can you do this? Yeah, but I'm not gonna. Jay is in his chair. Mike is assisting so he doesn't fucking kill himself. Spreading his legs.

I could almost say like Jean-Claude Van Dam. Almost like Jean-Claude Van Dam. Bloodsport. It's not bet knees. Those knees are not. The dismounts. They're not bent. Jacob, get up on the table and grab this leg.

Put it behind your head. Oh, my God. I feel the tension in my ball bag scene. Ready? I'm going to push you closer to the. the desk, stretch it out. Jacob, grab his other leg. Grab that leg, grab that leg.

Swimming. All right, that's all of it. That's all of it. Oh, my God. That's all heaven. He just did a full split on the bonfire. A full split. A sitting full split.

So I think yoga got you beat. What else is next? You said? What was the other thing? Folding laundry. Swimming. In what way? Like speed?

I think I Maybe You might be a stronger Swimmer than you I just grew by the beach You didn't Oh here we go You can do the Jeff Cavalier

Contest What's that She always got to bring up Once we did No No nobody can do that shit No no Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

That's not true I save somebody in the ocean I'm the best swimmer in the room That's not part of the I saved a life But that's not part of the test You wouldn't save anybody You wouldn't be able to get past

The Rip Tide And back in with a life Through the riptide Right Let's focus on this let's go on christine a little bit more i think think you know what christian i apologize

fuck you what back to you no no wait a second but bobby here she goes your videos your videos aren't sending to me and i really want to get them can i see your phone really quick and just send them to you cannot touch my phone are you fucking crazy nuts i would never let a one do that by you it's an influence machine i'd kill dawn and

and tell bobby something accidental happen if she took my phone i'm not having christine have shit on me. That's crazy. Let me see your phone. Let me see your phone. My photos. Are you nuts?

What have you see if you got 27 missed calls from Modi? I do. I know. I do. I know what he wants. Hit that one? Whoa. Is that my phone?

Is that my phone? By the way, she put everyone in the room down because we did a lot of the exercises in the room, the man test. The man test? And there's a female version of them. Yeah. The female test? What do you do?

It's just doing less, really. The girl version of the female test? The female test? Yes. The woman test? No? No. It's called the you're not a man test.

No? Why do you think it's that? It's called the bitch quiz. She does think she could beat you in athletics. I know. And by the way, she's not going to come home tonight feeling any different because she's going to see Florence in the machine. She's going to feel empowered. I'm probably going to have to fucking crack her in the face a second.

She walks through the door. You're going to flow? I'm going to bring her back to reality when she gets back in here. She's trying to get in my Google Drive. I'm like, hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? You don't know what's in there? You don't know what me and Bobby send back and forth to each other for Christ's sakes. God damn it.

Aggressive gay porn. Were you wondering what it was? I'm a listener. I didn't know. First time, long time. Crackle, motherfuckers. First time. Do you think she's not listening?

Is there anything like in a sports off between you and Christine that you would be intimidated, that you would go into the event going like, fuck, she might have me on this? Is there anything? Swimming for speed, probably. She probably just does swim more than me. in her life. Because she grew up at the beach. I don't know if you heard that. She's also... She's also lighter than me and propel herself easier.

In running, I just think like my strides... So you think in human propulsion, she might take you? Yes. In her... Yeah, I think on the ground, though. I think feet on the ground, I dust her ass. High jump? You think you can't jump higher than doing? No, she can't jump. You can't jump?

She can't jump. Show me a jump. Her jumps ass. Touch the ceiling. Touch the ceiling. That's too low, Bobby. Oh, my God. That was like a ghost was holding your ankles. Can you? Yeah, of course.

Did you hear the weight? She somehow went down when she went up. Bobby? What? Can you? The only reason why I don't want to do it? Oh, he's doing a whimsical pants hold up. I don't want my stomach to flop.

Come on. All right. Good call. Lou, you film his face. I'll be on belly cam. Ready? Bellicam. Hey.

Of course I can. I wonder if I can. That was a crazy amount of effort you put into it, though. Yeah, dude. That's what I got. I do, I'm a short king. Can you touch it, Blacklow? The ceiling?

Yeah, you can't touch the ceiling. While making, while making content? We'll have to see. Easy. Jacob? Jacob. You're up. You really need me to do this?

Yes. Because it's so easy. It's not easy. You're going to do it. Really? All right, fucking white chocolate. It does have those little tight bumps from all that sex. Are you little Cadbury cream egg?

You got all those cream pies. Everybody can do it except for You get a piece, Mike? I'm going to try Mike, definitely I'm a girl though We have different standards than you guys You should look stuff with

He did it like nonchalant Can you, Christine, can you for the love of God Try that again and not make clear DJ Loat mean you could do this But I mean this is nonsensical For me and you to do it We're adult-sized men Yeah, that's what I mean, we're adult-sized men

I could jump up and tell you what's up there You guys went what's happening inside there's a body cousin brucey's body's up there he was trying to get into the duct christine you can't touch the seal that quad muscle men up top wow i hate when people give up do you think now for sure that i can defeat christine and almost everything i'd never doubt it in a minute you could defeat her and everything well now it's up to almost i mean almost everything what do you mean almost swimming whatever could you go up in california don't act like you're better at yoga than me jay would be better in you yoga i'll tell you why he's not he's more he's more flexible i don't you're

I don't know, we've done a lot of yoga. Yeah, my yoga is pretty great. Remember, will we... You've done your novice yoga. Whoa. Excuse me? Wow, shots fired at Mike. He's a guest for Christ's sake.

Excuse me? I mean, there's... Mike, I apologize. I'm going to cancel that edible arrangement I have sending to her. Yeah, fuck that, dude. Novice yoga. She's like, what difficult yoga do you think you do? You said you do those same moves or just called different things for chicks.

They're called different things, but DGP yoga is beginner yoga. What yoga? What yoga do you do? What you do you do that's more intense than that? Do you hear this? It's not. I hope DDP's not listening. Yeah, no.

Even like... You know how many lives he saved? Yeah, almost as many as Jacob's Jew lives as he saved. Yeah. You'll hear about that on Thursday. Y.R.G. Yoga for regular guys. You have no idea the sacrifice Jacob made for no...

For absolutely no recognition for it either. It's goddamn amazing. I'll be honest, it's one of the most masculine things I heard anybody say they would do. You'll hear on Thursday. I don't even want us to spoil it. No, suck it, bitch. We could, though. We could talk about it right now.

No, we can't. I'm getting to. I know what you're doing, Jay. I'm being three-story edged right now. He's edging out of... I am telling you that I... No. Anything Christine thinks she can do athletically, I can throw further.

Run faster. Christine... Jump higher. You're better than her. Done. Thank you. Everyone agrees with that. Let's go around the room.

You agree with that? You agree with that? You're forgetting. Ice skating and roller skating. Oh, yeah. You can't do shit. Oh, wow. You can't even say.

Skates. I don't know how to skate. I know, but that's like a big thing you can't do. No, but what we have an ice skating race? Skiing? Yes, I mean, I definitely win. It's the Olympics, asshole. She gives you enough.

I'm, I tried. It's called speed-saving. Only summer sports, bitch. So you can't roller. Okay, so swimming right also beat you. No way. Because you grew up by the beach. Yeah, yeah.

You can't roller ski. Leave the winter sports to the Japs, I say. You can't roller skate? I don't know how to do things with wheels under my feet skateboarding no no what about skis I'll tell you what I'll dust their ass in a bike ride no no no it's because you got an electric bike why is that he would dust your ass because we used to go bike riding together and you weren't faster than me we never raced bikes he was always in front of you and had to hold up and wait for you yes you're right yeah that is what

you think in a 40 or dash that's not what happened but I will tell you this when we walk anywhere together. If I didn't slow down, I would be two and a half blocks ahead of her. That's how I am with my wife. This is going to take four and a half hours to upload to Google Drive. Can I just beam it to your phone? Probably. That's why we tried it and didn't work. We didn't do the air drop. You went into my phone, started searching stuff. I said get off of it. All of a sudden. When I upload videos, it takes seconds. I don't know why it's taking two hours on your phone. Did she open up? She didn't open up that weird folder that says Jay's weekend pornography he makes. No. I have that under tax, uh, 2000, 23. Thank you. And that was to get them on the computer if we get them to my phone. My gay sex?

What are we even talking about anymore? I'll tell you we're going to be talking about it. Good subject change. You last night. Oh, right. Let me tell you something about this guy. Michael. Bring it.

Jay comes across as a, you know, confident, doesn't take any shit. We'll tell you a thing of two about a thing of two. I will. No, I don't, I don't, nobody fucks with me. I'm a nice guy. I'm a nice guy. But if you do. me or on the shit. If you cross me, you're done.

I'm going to let you have it and let you know it. Well, let me say, so we're walking. We go in, we get our coup, first of all, outside, bump into two people, Bobby goes, says hi to both of them. Isabel Hagan, I know her, she's a comedian. She said she was running a set. She's doing the Tonight Show. Mr. Cox from him? Well, I didn't know. This guy goes, Bobby goes, says hi to both of them, the guy and the girl, and he goes, hey, you know, Jay, right? He goes, of course. And we shake hands. And then I talk about everything.

I talked to her and Bobby's talking to the guy for a... I had no idea that was Michael Cox. That's the guy who books the Tonight Show. Books the Tonight Show. What the fuck do you mean? He knows who I am. He knows you. Yeah, he books everything.

Everybody knows you. You're in the business. Well, so I won't put on a fucking suit so I can't do comedy on Jimmy Fowl? You can do, I wear a leather jacket. You don't have to a suit? Because I won't say fucking, because I won't not say twat instead of cunt. Yeah, no, you tell it like it is, don't you? I really do.

I know you do. And I won't be told by anybody. Yeah. To change. No. I'm genuine. You're genuine, authentic. That's what I say.

Yeah. I don't even care. I don't try it. Michael Cox, it's nice to meet you, but I'll be, I'm not interested in doing your show because it's not my thing. I'll say it right to his face. So we go into the cellar. Didn't, though. Talk to him for probably 20 minutes.

Yabbering like they were best friends. Yeah. Didn't get a word. I had to talk to, what's her name? Because he was just smoozing it up with a guy. Smitten. Oh, my God. It was like they knew each other since college.

I thought it was a comedian or her manager. It's gross to see Jay like that, isn't it? It's happened a couple times around me. It's kind of gross, but it's happened to me, but I'm like, all right, you know, he kind of leans in and he does little stuff and he squints his eyes and he gets cute. He laughs at unfunny stuff like it's hilarious. I didn't know who it was. He turns suburban quick.

Jay has stock stories for these moments. I know. He's like, ah, it's like that time. And you like, I heard this one before. And then he looks at you for like assurance that the story. He's like, you know, you were there. Well, he'll bring in everyone. Bobby, Bobby, I'm telling him.

He'll say Bobby, Bobby, doesn't want you in the story, but be like, remember that Bobby? Anyways, and push you back out. I do that. Airport, Jay. I do that a lot. Yeah, he does. That is one of, I don't know how much this is Bobby's kidding or making up, because I don't remember this because I'm a little shell-shocked. It's all.

But I will tell you, I will tell you that, at one point of that, I did go, Bobby, I'm telling him the thing about the thing. I had no idea who I was talking to. Yeah. I told him so. He's known him for a long time. You go. He'll go, Bobby. I'll tell him the thing about it.

back to what you're doing. I go over there. Stay over there, but I'm doing this. Yeah, Bobby, I started to turn towards this thing. I go, no, I got it from here. Mike, he always has a going to the couch with Carson's set available for a new conversation. Yes. You know what I'm saying?

Yes. He's got his couch material. I've been here all night. Smooth, smooth Jay, the little smooger that he is, he's got it going on. But I let him do his thing. It's a story that can start with Flew in here. So much going on. I just smoked a joint.

I was getting get ready to go do my shots I was in a good place Yep We walk in We walk into the club We're the restaurant olive tree Right away Bobby

Company boy has to run over And go get on his knee to kiss gnomes ring I'm a 1% ober of a comedy saw I know And then I know They're gonna say 1% ombre I know you take off two weeks to go to the fucking company retreat I have to go to the I have to do

Trust Falls with Liz and Esty. So he goes over, he pays his respects to know. I go to the back table, so talking to that kid, what's the name, a little tiny guy?

He was, Adam, something, I think. Great dude. Really? Very funny, yes. Yeah, yeah. I was bullshing with him for a little while. Literally, anybody on earth could rape that man.

Oh, yeah. Guy or girl. Sure. A puppy could. I mean, yeah, anything. An aunt could have its way with that kid. Yeah. Yeah.

I almost did it just because I could last night. Yeah. He goes, this is the fear you should. I know what you're walking around not in fear. Well, you should be afraid this could happen every day. Yeah, exactly. He goes, I'm saving you down the road. I'm going to finish.

And I'm not saving any Jews with this. I sat with Nome because me and Nogh, his friend, he's my family. He pays respects to the... We have vacations together. We've done stuff together. He's a friend. The Jewish Don. Lawn.

Yeah. Lon Goldstein. So I sit down, I talk to him. We talk business a little bit. Then we always go into, like, you know, personal stuff. like that and then I walked over I go wish I said I'm gonna go order food caught me I I don't have to ask put it on my tab the waitresses all know you think right no they do but they so I don't get a check again I see a few people Kevin Brennan I haven't seen him in a while

Kevin Brennan was not that Kevin Brennan came came in yeah that's two different people yeah this is it Neil Burden came out I haven't seen him in such a long time thank God and I went in in for a nice heavy handshake of dude good to see and I forgot he's uh I guess germs would kill him it looks like it looks like germs would kill him So maybe that's the reason, but he gave the fist, and I was like, oh, it's been for such a long time, and this is such an awkward way to do it, and that's all we did, no kind of parted ways.

Aziz came over and talked, oh, so Todd Barry came and sat down next to me, and we started shooting a shit a little bit, and Aziz came over, started talking to Todd for a minute, and then me and Bobby were just kind of like sitting there talking a little bit, and then Aziz started to walk away, and Bob, which I was okay with,

because in my mind I go, me and Aziz were on a tour together, and that was about as much as we talked on the tour also. I tried a few times, but me and him just are, we don't hit it off, I guess, whatever organically. And he starts walking away, and Bobby goes, Aziz! Aziz!

Come here! And he makes me back, goes, you don't fucking say hi when you come to go to me. He goes, hey, I thought you were in the middle of something. Hey, go get your fucking shine box. I do this to him every time, because every time Aziz comes over and awkwardly will look at the Don't say, doesn't say hi. He awkwardly looks at the lineup and then looks around and then he walks away.

And every time I let him walk maybe three steps, I go, Aziz, get over and say hi, what's wrong with you? How you doing? Where are you going? He's like, oh, I don't know, I'm just, you know, I was just, you know, coming in. That's your, that's your prepared. It makes me feel so good forcing him to be social. It should make you feel good because I'll tell you why what he does. He goes, he goes, oh, I know you're in the middle of something.

He goes, I got to go over to the VU. He goes, but I'll come back around. And then son of a bitch came back to sit with Bobby. Really? Fuck yeah. I'll force you to be a fucking social person. He came back and sex to Bobby. He started telling me, he goes, I live in London.

Yeah, he's just giving him the whole stuff. I was like, holy shit, Bobby. I force his ease to come out of his fucking elite shell. He screamed down the street for Jimmy Fallon. When he caught up to him, I thought Jimmy Falun was going to have security tackle him or at at very least be like, hey, man, chill out. He turned around and he goes, hey! And just, it was a, we hugged.

Me and Christine were so angry that he was being rewarded for his behavior. It was weeks ago. Buddy, I went, I'm going to say, they ran away from me. Like they were embarrassed to me. I was. He's the Pope of Chile town. Not like I was embarrassed of you.

I was humiliated by your behavior. And then when it was rewarded, I go, that's not going to help him. Yeah, it's crazy. It's like when Lewis does something crazy and wins, you're like, fuck. Yeah. You don't learn. Dude, me and Jimmy are palsy-wowsies. Oh, shit.

I'll force you to be my friend. Yeah. And Aziz, I for, and he, he always, always shakes out of it and we'll come back from where he is and just ignore the table. It's like a verbal nuggie. But he came back. He talked to you. I'm being a bad friend.

I'm being a bad friend to you and I'm going to stop doing this. What's up, buddy? I'm going to stop because you say your friends of people. And your personality is so great for that. The in person, whatever, if they even know you a little bit, you're going to get like longtime friendship behavior because of your like assertiveness in it. Yeah. These people and then in that you can get phone numbers and contact and everything.

And friendship. In that, these people leave and they forget about you almost entirely and they don't want to deal with you anymore. Right. And then I, now, but you're living in the world going like, Captain America is my friend. No, no. Well, I fucked that up because of you. I'm going to give you, I'm giving you credit here in a second.

You say Captain America is my friend. This one is my friend. This one's my friend. Yeah. And then I challenge you. Yeah. And you go, I have their number right now. And then you start getting chest out.

I'll text them right now. And then I don't go, I believe you, buddy. You don't have to do that, which is what a friend would do. Friend would do that. I go, text them. Then you do, and then they block your number. Yeah. Because they didn't actually want to be friends.

But you would have lived in a world. Like, I'm making you wear dark tint glasses. Because I'm stealing. I take people shine. I steal people shine, is what I do. I bought these from Anthony Aiden. You don't have to make them. Huh?

Yeah, you don't have to make me. I wear them from. The Jacques Marie's. No, the dark tint, though, is you've gone dark tint. You've gone dark tint. Because I've taken the sparkle out of your eyes. When the fluencer wants to get a plug in, he gets a plug in. Let's stay on this for a minute.

You're the shot. You take people shine, like Predator would take their skulls and you collect them. Yeah. I take people shine. Yeah. Do you live off the, do you get off on that? Yeah, buddy. I'm like, Dr. Sleep.

I steal people shining. You do. You know what it is, though? I'm Rose the Hat. Mike, I'll tell you what it is, and I learned it last night, is because I have a backbone. Yeah. And he's an amoeba. Well, wait a second.

You understand that? Before we jump too far ahead. Sure. Is it crazy? Every time I see Aziz, I'm like, this poor guy got canceled for the biggest horse shit thing. Yeah. Remember that? You're stupid.

He's fine, though. Wow, you're amazing. He fucking came out and he fucking... You're amazing. You're amazing. He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything. He gave her...

He offered her white wine. He offered her white wine. He offered her white wine. You understand what he's doing right now. That's the beginning of her rape story. He's bringing up a news topic from seven years ago during the Me Too situation. I believe all women. Call me crazy. To divert away from this spineless jellyfish. He's the shadow. Bobby doesn't believe all women. His alter ego, the shadow. He steals the shine. Why don't you go,

so anyways, we're at the comedy cellar. I just talked to my close friend, Noam, and we sit down at the back table. We're getting food. These things happen. As these things happened. Todd Barry. And now I start talking to Todd Barry. Catching up with Todd Barry. It's been a couple years. And I overhear what they're talking about and I stay out of it intentionally. Because who cares about his cat? No, no, no. I would have stayed out of that one too. Todd Barry, we were having, we were having good conversations about whatever. I told him he should come do Story Wars. It's not Legion of Skanks. It's always my pitch. It's not Legion of Skanks and you'll love it. And then, by the way, I did it again. I was saying that while Bobby's talking to Aziz and I reach across

the table and I go, Bobby, I'm telling about Story Wars. How much he would love Story Wars? He goes, dude, his doorways is great. He goes, every time I play, go, that's enough, though. And I go back into it. I just need you for a second, dude. I just need for a second. Jesus. I was kind of trailing out on the conversation.

I needed to go. Okay, I'm back. Go back. He goes, go back in the car. Yeah, go talk to that boring Indian. And then when I come back, I have to go, no, Todd. No offense, Lou. No offense. And I have to go, Todd.

What the hell was I talking about? Todd, what was I saying again? Yeah. So Todd, I'm here talking, and he eventually goes, He goes, and you don't work here anymore at Ohio? He goes, do you have a problem in this place? And I start just with like the, I'm going to get this whole thing. And I go, no, I'm just like busy.

No, I usually do Legion of Skanks Monday. I do Story Wars Tuesdays, you know, like, now I'm just not really around anymore. I'm gone every week. And he's like, yeah, he goes, I thought you had a problem with them or something. And I was like, wow, if you're bringing it up. I know, they, yeah, I go, that fucking book. What book? Oh, they were making the book.

And then I sit there and give him the 15-minute dissertation. I mean, buddy. He's interested, by the way. Don't, let's not make it seem like it wasn't interesting. Why would he not be interested with the amount of energy and facial expressions and fucking anger? A couple times in the story, I see Nome wandering around and I'll go, no one's right about you. Hang on a second. And then I would just do whatever I'd go over.

I'd make Bobby say something for a minute. And then I'd go, that's all good. Noam walked away. I go, we're good now, Bobby, show him that dance you do. That's good. All right, stop. Enough. Bobby, pack your head and rub your belly at the same time.

Stop it, Nome's gone. Do that joke for the beginning of Raw. And then the bear comes out and start taking a dokey. All right, shut up, Nome left. That's enough. I got to get back to my story. Can I ask a quick question? Sure.

In the time that, you know, I know you don't go there a lot, blah, blah, blah. Have you and Nome had any like, hey, how are you? Or do you kind of avoid yourself? It's great you should ask that. He's been on the show. He zoomed on the show and he came on the show. I think he apologized profusely both times. And he's also said to me, please tell Jay, I love him.

I want him to work the club. I hope he's, you know, I think he's one of the funniest guys ever. I want him at the cellar. And I've told him this. And then I said this, I said this. That's a real quote. That's a quote. And I've said this on the show.

And the last time I said it on the show, he went on, I think, for an hour and fucking tore apart the seller. Yeah. And Nome. Really, though. I'm going to be honest. I really went elbow deep on Esty, if I'm being honest. But he did talk. Nome was in there, the cellar, blah, blah, blah.

I mean... Some of my favorite jokes I've ever made. I go, Esty and Leslie Jones sit back behind home plate of the Yankees games. Which one do you think's think brought the ugly person? So... Which one, what, you think they both walk around and go and embarrass? They're like, oh, geez, I'm with Leslie Jones. I'm with his little crazy Jew.

He went off so much. where he called me later he goes yeah dude did that bother you that I was just I mean where I was like no you you're trying to be funny old shine Shine McShine trying to be funny on the radio but it is my friend I'm genuine dude I it is my club oh you're genuine yeah you can't be faded no you can't you can't fade this guy you know you can't be phased there's only one way to fade Jay hang on so I start giving Todd the story and no one will walk kind of nearest and I'd be like alright wait wait okay we're back and I go on this and the and Todd's you're making a face of

goes, that sucks. He goes, and then they wrote in the book. And I gave him the, I told the book that I love this club, and I'm not going to talk shit about it. And then they talk shit about me. Mike, he gets as mad as when it happened every time it comes. He gets as mad as when it happened. It's traumatic.

After the apology, after the second apology, after the third. He gets mad. And I hear him talking. I'm staying out of it because I hear him going. And then he's, it's like I never learned not to bring it up, dude. It's like fell dog, dude. The guy keeps showing up everywhere. and performing like he doesn't know he's bad.

Did you see he's with Alien Ant Farm on the internet? No. Dude, he came out and did smooth criminal with Alien Ant Farm. Oh, Jesus Christ, are you serious? And he just dances around. Focus. He's our guest. Focus, Michael.

He dances around. Michael, don't bring it up, Christine. Will we have a second? No, you have to show him for a second. You can wait. You can wait. We can wait. Get back to it, Jen.

Excuse me? You're my producer. Apparently she can produce better than you. That was athletic as far. That was not athletic. I could defeat. Christine, let's do an athletic contest right now, this second. No, no.

Push-ups. Bobby has a direction he's trying to go out. Wow. Oh, you really are. Let's do raise push-ups. I got a little hard when she did that. Oh, we'll get it to you. You can have that as a dessert.

What yoga position you think you can do better than me? All of them. Hey, earthworm. Let's do one now. Earthworm. Get back to the story. So. The wage.

comes up, I order my shots, I get the cellar sauces, which I have in my house when you come over later, so I have the buffalo and the wing sauce, the buffalo and the blue cheese. You put that on whatever. Michael, look at me when he does it. He's just trying to get you.

Go with the story. Two orders of hummus without pasto and stuff. So I'm talking about it, and I'm going heavy on time. And I tell him, no, I finish the story to him, I go, so that's where it's like, it's not that I don't come here ever. It's like I've come here,

but I'm just like, I'm like, I'm just kind of like this place. Like, they don't fucking, it was just so disrespectful. I'm like, they don't fuck with me. I don't give a shot. I don't fuck with them really like that. And then, Noam walked up to the table. And he goes, he goes, oh my God.

I'm so happy you're here. Is this real? Are you really here? I'm so happy you're here. And then he goes, I go, yeah, I go, I'm off tonight. So I came through. And he goes, he goes, I. I'm really so happy you're here.

He goes, I would, what do you say? He would start? He goes, if you came here, I would start buying you, whatever you're having right now. Every night, I go, I go, okay. And he goes, because I always, I don't know why, man. I just feel like, I feel like you hate my guts. And I went, what? I looked at Todd Barry's face.

Michael, Todd went, what the fuck is that? What's happening? I just got a fucking, a fucking, a fucking cannon. ball of me. Todd Barry was baffled. Baffled. I was lighting up inside with joy and laughter knowing this moment was coming. Oh my.

I mean... I start giving him other time. I go, what? Why do you think I came to do Bobby show? I was on the new thing. I'm just busy. He started giving his comedy seller resume in the last month. No. Why would you think that?

Oh. And Nome literally sat down. And said, I got everything. He's, no, I bought it all. I already got it. It's fine. Oh, man.

I gave him anecdotes. Oh, my God. These two love birds. I don't know what happened back there, man. What happened? I'll tell you what happened. He is, he is a mushy fucking amoeba that talks a lot of shit and has no backup. I'll tell you what he loves to do.

He's a tea spiller. That's what he's a muleing quim. He loves. Oh, Bobby. He loves. That was athletic. He loves to. And then you know what?

And then you know what? And then you know what? And face with the fucking man. Hey, how you doing? He turned into a five-year comic that just got past. Oh, my. If you were trying to, I would have stood up hugged him. Oh, my God.

I don't know what the hell happened back there. No one has no idea what he walked into. It is. He has no idea. His name was, his club, his legacy was being besmaged by this earthworm. Fuck it. In his own club at the table. It is.

I would have loved to talk very monotone. Pussy. Oh, he did. In his head. He definitely did. I mean, was he just, like, did he, could you read his expression?

Was he completely confused by what was happening? Buddy, I looked at, when he, listen to me, I was nervous when Noam came over. Because I was hearing this conversation. And I know, Jay, Jay doesn't take shit from no one. No, Bob, you're not thinking,

you're not thinking of what it is, though. I'll tell you what it is. And I know this about myself. That's why I try to say this. And I are, whenever somebody goes, They hate on-air arguments. The audience doesn't know, which is a lie,

whenever they go, the audience, the audience loves on-air arguments. Yeah. But they go, they hate, nobody wants to argue on air. I, everything confrontational in my life, I need to happen. On air, I don't know why.

Well. There's a reason for sure, but I will go at it intently. If the same night, somebody, if we ended the thing on an angry thing, on the show, the same night the person calls me, I go,

come on, just fucking doing radio, man. You know what I'm going to have Noam have microphones and a recorder at the table all the time so next time he shows up

I'm going to throw a microphone dude Instead of Natterman moderating I don't know you did fuck up You know Jacob you should just know

If we were fucking podcasting I fucked this shit up We probably would have gotten physical Jay's only tough on a podcast Yeah seriously Yeah seriously Your kryptonite is real life My kryptonite is the living

breathing world. Michael, when Noam was walking over, my heart, I was like, ah shit, I'm going to have to deal with my friend over here and my friend over here. I'm going to, this is going to be a confrontation. Yeah. He's going to say something. Jay's going to go, you know what, dude, I don't fucking work here. I was just telling

Todd, you know, you show me no respect. Esty's an asshole, and you should change that. And Norm was going to be, what you fuck? And it was going to be this thing that I was going to have to break up. Thank God, Jay is just a fucking dandy jellyfish. I didn't want you to be uncomfortable.

No, you did not. Let me tell you something. Why did I think of that last night? Why did I think of my excuse being I didn't want Bobby to have to be uncomfortable? What the fuck is wrong with me? If I would have thought a little bit quicker, I could have just been like, yeah, Bobby, it's like your friend. What am I going to sit there and make you be in a weird situation? If you weren't there, dude, I'd have fucking lit them up.

At the table where Patrice asked Manny, hey, you got wooden teeth? You mean that table? Yes. At the table where I saw somebody make a nasty cry one night? Yes. Where I've seen grown men cry? The meanest table in the world? I've seen some serious.

The Bobby Kelly trial? Yes. You mean that fucking table? Buddy, I was waiting for it and I was like, oh my God, Jay's going to Jay's going to do it. This is it. But whatever.

I'm here. It's happening. Oh, my God. If you could have saw these two lovebirds, but Jay sat down and watched and play music. No. I got video. Okay.

You go, what was that game on here? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You sat down. You sat down and watched play music and we were walking out. So I was like, oh, I guess we're sitting here for a second. And I sat with Bobby. I didn't know who was filming me. This is bullshit.

I got to see this. The fluncer is always filming. Oh, you fuck. He goes, oh, you know any wallflowers, known? Mike. Mike, you know one headline? Look, look. Look, I got it.

Wait, hold on. I want to see you. There is. Right there. Give me over here, Mike. Son of a bitch, bastard. Look, we're sitting there watching Gnome, jammed with his band. And look, watch this.

Ready? You. Watch this. Well, look who's sitting right there, yapping away, watching Gnome. Oh, he loves it. You what? Made me sit there. I did not.

No one makes you do anything. Jay, you do what you want. You lured me into that. I didn't lure you. I didn't have fucking snacks. Did you leave with a couple t-shirts? I go, can I get a coffee cup for the new house? Which, by the way, you got to come over.

Yeah, I go guys, do any stuff? I want to wear a TV thing. I think I want to really show the dollars. I want to work the cellar a lot. I want to work the cellar a lot. They talked like old friends. We just sat there and they talked about his drinks. He's like, no, this is my drink all the time.

I have to have three of these and I have one of these. And that's my thing for the night. Bobby, you know how I like to have those. Now go back over there. Yeah, Bobby, please. He actually did that. I kind of did. I go, this is the way I always train.

I need Bobby to back up that this is the way I have my drinks. Yeah. And then, all right, Bobby, I'm talking to know him if you don't mind. Yeah. I'm the conductor in his little, he's Frank Sinatra. I'm the black guy that he brings over. This is the guy right here. Without him.

All right. Honey Boy Jay, dude. Did Todd Barry talk to you, like, what just happened? Well, let me tell you something. Todd Barry's face. I've never seen it. I've seen him confused. No, I made his leave so quickly after that.

So there's no time to. I left before Todd Barry can go, what the hell was that all about? I just, like, ran out. Now I understand the pink gloves. Nome and Jay was sharing my chips out of my wing basket. We were. And we had a little fight. We had a little fight in the blue cheese.

Oh, he put a little knock. cocky with him. Yeah. Yeah. I was looking down that we were both eating my chips. We had some knuckle hockey with you.

We were both going in for his little saucy chips. Everyone loves the buffalo covered chips. That is fucking amazing. You're living with a coward. You had a chance. She knows.

She knows. Now, walking out, were you just like your ears are ringing? You're like, what the fuck? I hit him as soon as we walked out. It didn't matter.

We walked outside. He goes, what the fuck was that? And then the whole, he kept calling me an amoeba, spineless, toad. I think we got to go, what's that thing it's like a frog? I went toady if you were a toad. You fucking tadpole? As soon as we walked out, I was like, yeah. The whole walk back to the car, and then the whole drive back to his truck.

If I met this Jay two and a half years ago, you'd be sitting in this seat. He just said no. I'm okay, my man. I'm not working with that fucking. Oh, my God. I only work with real people. I go, Bobby, you got to get me on the air, dude, I'm mad real on the air. The show will be called the wet firework.

It's not even about being a man. He's not a person. Oh, dude. That's crazy. Mike, if you, it was. I mean, the pitch, I mean, my dog. Because I know that's probably played in your head a hundred times. My dog was probably barking back in Wayne when she heard the, the high pitch of the end of my.

What? Where are you getting this crazy information from? My lips to your ears? The monitors on the... As I live and breathe. The monitors went, B, had feedback. What?

What? No. I want to pay for you drinks. No, I know. These are my things. Buddy, you know that lean-in, Jay does when he's really interested?

Yeah. When he pretends, I guess, to be really interested. He did a lean, his Jay, cute-faced lean-in. Every time Noam talk, there it is right there.

I can't believe this. Well, also, I was leaning in so because we were having a couple giggles of how we were kept bumping knuckles with the with the potato chips how did it end with you and Gnome did you go like French kiss yeah is it a French kiss oh buddy I know you tie a cherry stem and give it to me I was I turned my ring around it's got the hands in the heart I'm taking that I'm a clatter of the clatter ring yeah you guys are dating

now I'm taking now he's taken by the cellar I turned my I turned my heart ring around he gave you his capo I am his he should is that special at the new theater. Of course. Yeah. Oh, my God, I'd be honored. Oh, shit. Oh, they did the whole one.

You're gonna put it in spots? I'd go, probably in the summer? Crazy. In the summer. Is it still the same email? How's it stayed? How's Esty doing? Is she alright?

Oh, I should have asked. I would love to go to a Yankee game. Oh, I hope she's in good health. Baseball. Unreal. Tell her if a plane ever shoots Leslie Jones down that I'll go to the games with her. Was Liz, did Liz see this?

Let me tell you something. Because I could see her just fucking loving it. I saw Liz walk over to the table, look at the table and turn around. She disrespects her. She's ashamed of me for sure. Oh, 100%. I am. I wasn't even there. Everybody, Todd Barry, how can you have Todd Barry be like, ugh? You're not a man.

Todd Barry thinks I'm not a man. That's the worst. He thinks I'm all talk, for sure. If nothing else, he thinks I'm all talk. He talks so much. shit and it's right there I'm on and I swear to you when Noam would do like the walk by to like go to the bar or something and I would stop telling the story for a second I go wait oh he's right behind you I'd be like fucking Jerkhov over here and then I kind of follow his eyes back as he went back

over he's like yeah yeah anyway Todd I can get back to the story and I go back and I mean I gave it to him it as dramatic as you could and they printed the letter yeah they gave them the whole letter which had a bunch of lot then I do all my self-defense of the letter itself I go and then she said I said this I would never say that she says I did this which is not me you're lucky Todd Barry didn't step in on your behalf and go actually noam I just heard the whole story I gotta tell you

Mike I was watching it like a play I mean seriously he was a Greek tragedy he was doing a monologue to Todd Barry with such emotion which is hard to keep Bobby's attention he prefers musicals it was a ha ha ha ha ha you could turn into a musical at the end I could have been no what I would never be

What are you talking about? It turned into Annie at the end. That's what you did, you sissy. I'd never be... This is my comedy home. You're like my comedy jazz. I belong here. He goes, no, I mean, we're talking about it.

My blood and sweat is in these walls, man. And my spit is on this microphone. I bleed the cellar. Oh, you are such a... coward. I'm a coward son of a bitch. Am I blind or is this super fuzzy? It's fuzzy. Okay. The screen went fuzzy ago. It's stroke fuzzy. Mikey Fanoia is going to be at the brokerage in Long Island on May 8th and 9th.

For tickets and all of this tour dates, go to punchup.com. Live slash Mike Finnoia, F-I-N-O-I-A. And of course, the big news, Mike's new show, Saturday Night's Shakedown, premiering May 16th on the Grateful Dead Channel right here on Sirius X-X-M. Not her. Christine thinks that all radio channels are women. Channel her on serious. God.

And look how she spelled Fanoia. You see, I'll just jump right into confrontation. Yeah, with any girl. Yeah, with any girl on a microphone. On a microphone. Out of show. Outside, nothing. Jake, what are you looking at?

Pussy. Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. You got a problem. You know. Jay, we're going to break, so the microphone's going to be off. The microphone's still on right now. And I don't like the way he's looking at me. Yeah, but he's going to be off soon.

gonna slap you in the face all right well we'll be right back then i guess we'll see what we'll see what happens we'll see what happens oh