The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Midday Temper Tantrums w/Yakov Smirnoff

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Legendary comedian Yakov Smirnoff owns a comedy club in Branson Missouri that bears his name and is appearing on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon this week. He tells a story of working on a film with Robin Williams and his career talking a fall along with the Soviet Union. Yakov started out at the Comedy Store working as a handyman because he didn't know much English. He roomed with Andrew Dice Clay and had to deal with Pauly Shore wrecking the place. | Jay discovered a fun way to blow off steam. He starts complaining to Rammstein's "Du Hast" and trashes the place when the song gets heavy. Bobby and the listeners join in the "Midday Temper Tantrums!" It was a musical weekend for Jay because he also discovered a new theme song for his Philadelphia Eagles. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

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Maybe. Is that a thing? Did I just invent something? A residency? A destination band. A residency. No, not a residency. a destination band a residency no not a residency a? Destination band where you go to a country you only can go to Germany to see them right five times a year That's a residency. Well that would be a destination a Residency I don't have a good argument against that okay, maybe yeah, I mean the residency

You're there all the time for months or a year well now cuz I consider Billy Joel's things a residency and once I didn't have a thing for it. I thought you just conceding Well, you're over explaining and you brought me right back to saying it is a residency I apologize, but he's him also his residency is in one building you're saying they perform all over Germany But you can only see them in Germany I just you know what I wasn't saying that but now I am that's a better way to say it Okay, and that would make sense that would be a destination band. Yeah, you have to go to Germany Yeah, no matter what we should be a destination show we are okay

That's where I got it from we tour once in a while as a show At a festival here and there Romstein's awesome live. Well, it was funny. I was driving in thinking in the car. We have a Legend coming in today Yakov Smirnoff. I thought you talked about Jacob Jacob's back. Jacob is back. You're a legend You're a living legend Nothing makes you feel better than a nice German band, right? That really... No, Bobby, it's not what it's about. Here's the thing.

I was like, what music can I play to you for Yakov Smirnov coming in? Right, yes. And I was like, oh, of course, Russian, Rammstein. And then two listens through of this song, I was like, oh wait, they're German. So that doesn't make any sense at all. They're German, yeah, they're Russian. Realize that five set or you would have been better off playing the

soundtrack to Red Dawn or what's the one with Schwarzenegger what's that one or the Rocky Force Beach. Rocky Force Beach would be great we should do that. Just if I could change you could change everybody could change. You should recreate it with him. It does affect people a lot if I could change you can change Everybody can change And You know I come here. I didn't like you too much neither How funny will be if he's and you didn't like me too much

If I could change if he's and You don't like me too much. No, no, I just thought we told her If I could change You're not gonna give me the Russian we're more to use me then you could change I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know yeah I don't get to see it. I mean buddy it really just gets you juices going. He when he hit that last one and he had the applause on that one and then he did that and

he pulled his finger off and you did you know Jay I've look at him look at he's still smiling. It's my life's work Bob. I give DJ, it is your life's work, I give DJ Lou a lot of cool I was trying to tell him outside. I was describing what he does whenever there's like uh like his mind how it works if we're talking about something like a fight that happened or something yeah that uh DJ Lou like is prepared for the moment when the first time I assume what you're listening for because it catches me every time makes me laugh is the first like shit talk and then you play the Rocky and I don't even know what to call that sound I'm trying to describe to people he goes to Yeah, the way I mean it's a bell obviously, but it's it's hard to describe what it sounds it makes me laugh every time

When you go, so then I got out of my car Yeah I mean that is the funniest thing this way when a fight's getting ready to start. That's great I mean that is the funniest thing this way when a fight's getting ready to start. It's great Yeah, that's not that if Lou fell and hit his head and lost all his abilities Oh my god, he just came in and he had he just did the same drop I would tape his fingers to the board and assume that like like awakenings He would just like you just feel it and know how to do drool coming out of his mouth, but his hands move

But that's what I was listening to. Oh my god. Paco. Paco, you did call him. Oh, that we sit outside. It'd be great to have Paco in today. For you, Christine. Well, so when I was listening to Romstein on the way in, it really is, that is a great song to like get it out to. Just to get it out to. You know what I mean? Punch a fucking roof of your car. And what I learned in the car, staring at the radio, is that we're technically allowed to play 30 seconds of music here on the talk stations.

In the 30 seconds of this song that opens up, you get, start over even again, Lou, you get this build up, Lou you get this build up 18 seconds of this build up yeah where you can really give your grievances and then at 18 seconds in for the next 12 seconds exactly it explodes with a furious guitar drums and anger right and that's when you should just have your fucking midday temper tantrum hashtag MDTT I'm starting a hashtag oh that's good midday temper tent wherever the fuck you're at at work throw something break it break some shit

Lou start the song over yeah so this is you have your MDTT at when the music kicks in yeah no I'll tell you what's going on I washed my car and every time I wash my car it fucking rains the next day. And then I parked under a tree and it got these weird fucking little pine cones on it. That's why I joined a fucking membership of the goddamn car wash, you cocksucker! Wow. Can I try it? Buddy, I don't even want you to try it. Wow. I want you to embrace it. I want people to call in with their midday temper tantrums.

This is fucking genius. And just, listen, it makes you feel better. Yeah. See if I, I don't know if I... Let me see if I got it, because I'm pretty happy today, you know. You know, I mean I lost the weight, I got the surgery, and I thought maybe we'd start having sex again, and then all of a sudden, you know, you're like, hey I'm gonna get my boobs taken out, and then I gotta take care of it, I gotta empty little things of blood and stuff like that, and help you bring stuff, and I I gotta clean everything and now I'm just alone jerking off by myself

In a sauna trying quietly not to destroy the rhythm Suck it out, god damn it I hate it, where's your boobs? Where's my sex? 30 seconds I don't wanna jam you up Thank you, Luke Wow, that felt fucking fantastic At 30 seconds of that song, Luke, is when he starts saying, do haas. The music drops out again.

You're being perfect. Wow. We have no licensing issues. And listen, we're probably gonna have to pay for some minor repairs in the studio. A little bit, maybe a tissue box and... But if anybody's out there, everybody, 866-969-1969, if you got a fucking midday temper tantrum

you wanna get out, this is the place to do it. And I'm telling you you when that music kicks in Drive your fucking card into the person in front of you do so, but you get you get 12 seconds Am I right Luke's am I doing that timing about right? That's enough. You get 12 seconds of rage It's it's literally perfect on cork Christine. Do you have one? Christine keeps all her rage inside. Yeah, well, I believe takes it out with her ever-growing drawer of dildos. Yeah I like feeling it deep in my wet pussy There's no AI that's a myth Jacob do you have one I

Don't have one in me now, you know fury. No, there's no AI. That's a myth. Jacob, do you have one? I don't have one in me now. You don't have one? No fury. Fuck, I need not have fury at the day. I could just conjure it up if I need to. Let me see another one. Shit, what do you want me to do? I'm just looking left, I'm thinking Christine.

Hi, let's hear it. This bitch says that she has no rage inside of her, but I see it. She's stewin' around, living in a house that I paid for, not wrapping up the hose today, by the way, and goes, hey, I'm not gonna wrap up the hose, and I just gotta fucking accept it because she fucking knows how to pay the fucking bills

with my money, you cock sucker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh Wow Wow, it feels good when you do it. It's amazing. It's fucking nuts I have it and look these stupid fucking things are made of steel that we're sitting under can I try one another one? I have another one it belongs to the show now Fuck you want Let's see if it works twice maybe you know I

Started the show and I got Dan and Joe and Lewis just to help them out And then it became a thing and then they left when they became famous and then we did the regs once or twice a year But then Lewis wants to do it once a month now twice a month every fucking day I don't have fucking time in my life to fucking do it. Fuck you Now you're ruining it it wasn't fun anymore So cathartic. Wow, that's... It's crazy cathartic.

That's too... almost too... I feel... You might cry. I'm telling you, this is good for the midday temper tantrum, dude. MDTT, I love it. Do you have somebody? Wow, this is... Well, no, here's the thing, Lou. This is viral.

We have to explain to them, Lou, the midday temper tantrum. When you call in, this isn't an interview, this isn't a thing. We're gonna say, hey, we have so and so on the line from someplace, and then Lou, I'm gonna go, where's your midday temper tantrum? And then Lou is gonna start playing that music, and then you have 18 seconds of complaining and 12 seconds of fucking up wherever you are. That's great. But don't attack people.

Yeah, please don't. We don't want to have gunshots. I don't care if there's gunshots. Just lick them off in the air, dude. Yeah, just not in a mall or at a school. Not in a mall. Certainly not a school. And certainly not anywhere in public, honestly. But if you just want to, like, if you live alone, and that's one of the things that's frustrating you,

shoot into the floor Who gives a fuck no one loves you first floor? first floor house not an apartment building What if Yakov Smirnoff comes in and we only talked to him for one full hour about the Ukrainian-Russian war We'd have nothing like about his past or night court or anything fun He's awesome. I'm excited for him to come in. Yakov is coming in today. He's had story wars twice now. It's been absolutely great. Does Mike on the phone here have a, does he have his own thing?

It looks like he's feeding me one. Yeah, he's like agreeing with you. Yeah, that she can pay for her own damn lunch at Iron Cactus. I did pay for my own damn lunch at Iron Cactus. Thank you very much. Did you? Well, maybe.

Yes, I did. How, what'd you walk off to do it? Remember I got up and I went and found him and I gave him my card and I told him to pack it all to go. Christine, maybe you have one now. By the way, she just said she doesn't have one. Maybe you have one. Why don't you try it, Christine? Just try it.

I don't have her. Christine. I have to keep my rage inside body, we all know this. Christine. If she doesn't keep her rage inside. She's not being part of the show. Fireballs forming her hands.

Yeah, she's a fire starter. Yeah, the room starts to shake and the glass breaks. Mm-mm. Christine, you have a Rammstein rage. You have a midday temper tantrum, don't you? You got an MDTT. I could do 15 on just you. You have to have one on me.

You want me to do 18 seconds of why I'm so annoyed every time I walk in and you're watching Schitt's Creek? Oh my god. I do love Schitt's Creek though. David. That's not how I feel though. The work of Eugene Levy in today's comedic world, there's so many fucking better shows to watch.

She rewatches shit. There's movies that I tell her about to watch while I'm gone, I've already seen it. But you should watch just, no I'm gonna rewatch Sex and the Fucking City again, you dumb And now it's fine watch hits Creek I don't give a shit I mean yeah, I mean God bless you Don I love you I love you knew your old new titties Oh, yeah, you know these are fine new old ones you took it out dude. Yeah, you took it on that chair next to you

Mmm, let me tell you something you can kick the living shit out of these consoles. Yeah, you know, they'll just fall apart You know, they're already broke. Yeah, they'll chrome. I think my aggressive kicking is almost keeping it up. I think you fixed my microphone It's very possible We do what if our midday temper tantrums actually fix the equipment here the cameras just start working on their own Paco vanishes like back to the future we never needed a Paco And we changed the pay we changed history Everybody needs a little Filipino boy. You always do we always do Yeah, Colin we have a phone number it's on the floor now cuz I've trashed everything in this fucking table

Oh, I'll tell you right now. You ready? Here it is. Wow 866 9 6 9 1969 16 69 if you have a midday temper tantrum hashtag midday temper tantrum, too I guess you could do it online. I suppose hashtag MD TT MD TT If you have a midday temper tantrum call it listen Maybe it doesn't catch at all But when I was laughing at the idea of it in the car pretty hard you get 30 perfect 30 seconds of licensed music. Hey

How oh Jay, I think you have one now. Oh music hey how oh Jay I think you have one now oh my fucking Christ dude really Paco in the middle of a sentence every goddamn light goes on the room you know I like it dark to have the vibe of funny and Yakov Smirnov isn't even coming in for 15 more fucking minutes we have to have the light on for 15 minutes before he comes can you know the lady fuck yeah damn stupid motherfucking Asian cute son of a bitch you don't know better also let me warn you guys Paco thanks for coming in you guys are gonna have to I Let me warn you guys Paco thanks for coming in you guys are gonna stick on in with your midday temperature Thank you Paco. I'm fine. I understand if we understand your Asian and this is the things you do It's just in you. Yes, they love cameras. You love lights, you know light lens lighting and then gear we know how it is. Yeah

Fear you don't want to drive around on a moped you have to you fear I have to I know you have two fears water and radioactive monsters As a Japanese boy, and we know you have two loves You have tucking your penis back making vagina and mayonnaise you do you love making your own mayonnaise? This is one thing. Oh god guys We have a new app a new thing on the app where you just tap the app. It says call the show. You tap on it and you call right in. That's amazing. Wow. Yeah.

Is that they put that just for us? Well, they put they give it to everyone else besides us. We complained. And now it's ours. So they shit do. Wow. That's what the fuck with this place. That is the backwards way that I thought it was going to play out. May be tested with us. Can I ask you a question? You know know you don't have to tell the people that they would just assume that it was made for us He knows I like to live in the anger, dude It's better for me because then I get to process it

It's very simple every time something happens good at serious XM. We get pushed back a rung We don't get lifted up a rung we get get pushed back a rung. We always think, hey, someone's leaving, we're gonna move up. No, someone else moves over us, and then we get pushed back a fucking thing. Millions of dollars. I don't know how many decades I have to fucking work here. I still walk a mile and a half to get this bitch! What the heck was that? What was that? I love it.

Your anger dance is the cutest angry thing I've ever seen. Your anger dance. I just picked one spot and I kicked the shit out of it. Oh man. Well, that is, let me tell you something right now. This is going to be the new thing. We have somebody on the line, Luke. Oh, it looks like we do. Uh, we have Nick in Ohio. Nick, is this the way we have him on? Nick in Ohio. Start.

Your midday temper tantrum right now. Look, I just started this new job. I got people calling out already. People getting tired, taking vacation all at the same time. I'm picking up all the slack. I have no fucking time to do anything I need to do. I'm working 90 hours a week. Fucking driving me insane. All I wanna do is sleep in.

I'm fucking losing it! Fucking smash something! Hit something! Scream! He's dead. I want to do it sleep in I'm fucking lose it fucking smash something Scream he's dead. Oh good. I think you just hit a woman Okay, it's okay. I respect do you feel better do you feel better Nick a Lot better. Yes. Yes We just saved it we just saved a work a job from getting shot up. MDTT. Hashtag MDTT, midday temper tantrum.

Did you hear his voice? How much better he sounded? It does. I do feel better. You don't have one, but you're gonna have one someday. I know you want one. You got things right now. I'm more like the Hulk, Bobby.

I'm always angry. Well, also keep in mind this. Me and Bobby are on copious. Is that my stomach or is that the Hulk? It's the Hulk. Me and Bobby are also on copious amounts of testosterone So if we don't get I'm very worried with the the rage that we have inside of us Yes, that if we don't get this out in midday temper tantrums, it's gonna explode to a much bigger thing Jay Jay much bigger thing. J? Yes? J? J? It's okay J. Hang on. J. Control the T. M? I can't

control the T! You need a mid-day temper tantrum! I can't control the T! Right now you need a mid-day temper tantrum! Lou! Hit it! Okay. Well, let me go back to Christine again. Schitt's Creek? I wish that was the only problem. The new episodes of Sex and the City, the ones that no one even likes, the ones that fucking Kim Cattrall wouldn't even show back up for, this dimwit spends half her fucking life

watching... YOU! Ah! It's anger dance! It's anger dance! Oh Your anger dance makes me happy What'd you say she watched a peewee documentary does it mean the Tums you know this this midday temper tantrum Give me help. Give me acid reflux. It's supposed to be helping.

What's that? You want? No, not right now. Maybe an almond. Doesn't an almond work just as well as Tums or Pepsit? I don't know if a chili roasted almond is. All right, well I'll hold it off then. Did you throw it?

Yeah, Lou's just giving more things that we can peg around to the wall. I appreciate that. Look at this. Yeah, take some Tums and then chuck it hard as you can with your next fucking rage. Have a Old alcoholic in the room. Someone jot down Nick in Ohio is our first ever midday temper tantrum first ever Even Christine who's worked here forever didn't have the balls to have a midday temper tantrum

Causing me to have yet another midday temper tantrum Wow. Thank you, Luke Black Luke's every part of your job now is to supply us every day with different, various weapons we can throw at things? We need some nerf in here. I like being your muse for your midday temper tantrums. Oh, Christine, you dominate the midday temper tantrum. Oh, Capaco, did I turn you on with that?

Oh, you're picking something up for me. Well, it's funny. It is funny. It is funny, isn't it? It is funny. Well, it's funny. It is funny. It is funny, isn't it? It is funny. Well, you know, cause I had a, I had a, I was gonna have a good weekend, but you know, Dawn had to get that surgery last weekend.

I did have to take care of her, but I didn't put it and take into account that, you know, I was gonna have to also do all the shit that she doesn't do. Is it gross? Oh, how so? I thought you meant the gross stuff. No, dude, the gross stuff was gross, do. You know what I'm saying? Oh, how smart. I thought you meant the gross stuff. No dude, the gross stuff was gross.

Okay, I don't mind the gross stuff, but I didn't know you wipe shit up every time. And if I'm gonna do the stuff, don't stand over me and watch me and correct me while I'm doing the dishes, because I'm doing them wrong and tell the trash and I gotta put this in there because I'm doing it. I'm doing it my way!

Not your way, bitch Just a series of violent kicks to the console Feels that I'm gonna go I'm gonna love your wife. You love your wife. I love my wife I love dawn. I'm glad I could be there for So glad I was there for her and max. I feel better, but I do not enjoy Schitt's Creek. I mean David I shouldn't have to go through that. I have to take her side. Oh my god. I have to take her side Canadians second funniest group. Hang on a second. I have to take her side. Canadians second most funniest group. Hang on one second. I have to take her side because Kathleen O'Hara in that show.

Katherine. That one. That a lot of people will call her that. But I think Kathleen does get said a lot. Okay, well here's the thing Jay. Bravo. Thank you. Bravo.

I almost had another midday time. Not because of me. I'm not causing temper tantrums. No, you didn't. I almost did, I almost did. It came close because your eyebrows went up when I made a mistake. I did. And your eyes went wide.

Ooh, I got another. What I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, calm, breathe, breathe, breathe. Okay, okay, okay, we pulled them down. We pulled them down. Okay, anyways. I would have to say that I do, Kath,

Rin. Kath. Rin. Rin. Rin. There's nobody funny to do. There's nobody. There's nobody.

That's just, makes me, Rin. It just makes me, oh man. Catherine O'Hara in this show is fucking hilarious. Yeah. Dude, it's really funny. It's a funny show. I'm sure. Now is it cheesy?

Yes, but you know I love cheese. You like a nice cheese. I like a nice USA network show. Did you not enjoy? Suits is good. Speaking of cheese, did you not enjoy the, I sent it to the group, didn't I, Christine? Can you please bring it up?

What? The new, this is by the way, for the record I promise, on the air, when I'm excited about anything Eagles, no more Fly Eagles, Fly on the Road to Victory. It's the last time you're gonna have to hear that song, Bobby, on here. Now, whenever the Eagles do good, there's a new song that I'll be singing.

Front to back, I hope we all get in. Bapak, oh, I showed you this? Yeah, this is the, this guy should be hired by the team. This song is so great. Do you have it, Christine? I'm getting it. You found it, though? It's so, oh, it makes me happy.

What is it? It's a new, is it an official? No, no, but they should. They should hire this guy to make it official. It's gotta start from the beginning. Oh my God. What are the Super Bowl champions? The Eagles from Philadelphia.

I went there once, hi. Jalen Hurts, don't you mean it should be illegal? So I say go birds and fly eagles fly Coo coo like an eagle fly fly like a man Floo floo like a monster as hard as you can Devante Smith has my heart and a romance can't stop Tonight Tonight No man can stop Tonight

Tonight Tonight, I know, then it's fucking the tub comes in at the end and ruins everything What was that Chi-hi thing then? Tonight That thing just stepped in Just let this guy have his moment It is the new Eagles anthem, foot off the Eagles, I hope any of you are listening His mother yelled at him, have your sister be in the video

Put your sister in, she'll be fat in the background with an eagle shirt on look at she hasn't done anything all day going you want to sing your song get your sister in oh you know what though he's gay and this probably could be like the girl who hangs with him all the time and she likes the Eagles because she's clearly a butch lesbian and he does not care for the Eagles at all but the two J1 hurts clearly and Devante Smith he'd like to get to know them better. And he lets them know that. And I, be honest with you, even though I am not a gay man,

I, okay. I mean close. Even, stop. I mean, look, if he didn't speak and we didn't hear ya, mm. Okay, you're saying just coming down the street. I'm saying coming down the street, this guy is a fucking Twizzlers dick.

What would be my thing, am I like a unicorn otter? What is it called? I don't know, but you're definitely a tit slapper. I'll tell you what, I'd kiss this guy around the goddamn mouth for writing this song, because Christine started over. Every time I go, oh my god, they just won season week one. Guns from Philadelphia.

Now start over. You look like the guy who, you would have your own clothing store Maros Come on in Tuesday's. I'm here big Jay. Okie. I Have leather pants for all sizes and I have shawls for all the men and women if you're protesting I got Palestinian signs They just came in Christine the Eagles just won week one heard Super Bowl, the Eagles just won week one. Coo coo like an eagle, fly fly like a man, Floo floo like a monster, as hard as you can,

Yvonne taste my heart, and our romance can't stop. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. That's Christine. Tonight.

Buddy, you gotta get away from me. You rehearsed this. Oh, I haven't stopped singing since it came out. Christine, start over again. You want to hit it one more time. Let me start a little lower. Let me clear my throat too. If you don't hit the tit slap on this, the tit slap drum, I'm going to be very disappointed. What's a tit slap drum?

Buddy, he tit slaps. I've been listening. I've been watching enough. Right in there. First, there's a click, there's a snap, and then there's a... Ever heard of the Super Bowl champions? Is it that? That's it. Let me see.

Ready? Ever heard of the Super Bowl champions? The Eagles from Philadelphia? I went the once high. Start it over. I'll do it for you, so we get the cameras going too. It doesn't work without the tit slap. Here we go.

Ever heard of the Super Bowl champions? The Eagles from Philadelphia? I went the once high. Fuck. without the tits slap. Here we go. Uh. I've heard of the Super Bowl champions, the Eagles. From Philadelphia, I went so once high. Jalen Hart's going to get me. It should be illegal. So I say go birds and fly, Eagles fly.

Cool, cool, like an eagle. Fly, fly like a man. So I take a float like a monster. Pidgeot. As hard as you can. Yvonne T. Smith has my heart. And this romance can't stop. Tonight, tonight.

Tonight. Someone's gotta get a grump here and show some manliness. Poor Evelyn. Where is Evelyn? Is Yakov here? He's in the bone go get him. Let's go get him. Don't get him get yuck off smear enough in here Dude that song is kind of addictive. I got Christine start it over again No, you gotta get the tit slap though. I'm gonna learn it. It's a wait. It's the second

Eagles The third it goes I went there once no It's the second. I heard a super bowl of German, the Eagles. It's the third. It goes, I went there once. No. Philadelphia Eagles, from Philadelphia. Oh, the Eagles. From Philadelphia, I went there once. Yeah. Okay, all right, let's go.

Hurry up before he comes in. From Philadelphia, I went there once. Hi. German heard something of me, it should be illegal. So I say go birds and fly, eagles fly. Coo coo like an eagle, fly fly like a man. I'll flow like a monster as hard as you can. Devante Smith has my heart and a romance can't stop

That ghoul really steps into the background That flat-footed fucking dyke really comes in. Coo, coo, like an eagle. Come on. Tonight. Is this song better than any song that's been written for the eagles so far? But how happy... Coo, coo, like an eagle.

How happy is this flat-faced person in the back when she steps in? Oh my God. Oh, he is. Coo, coo, like an eagle. You think he's gay? Huh? You think he's gay? Is there anybody to find out, Bobby? No, I'm asking Jacob about you. Oh, he is He's gay

No, I'm asking Jacob about you oh What why because I appreciate good areas oh How are you in studio? Joining us on the show, everybody, is going to be at the Great American Comedy Festival in Johnny Carson's hometown, Norfolk, Nebraska, on June 14th, and the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville on June 25th. And his podcast, The Comedy Couch,

is available on YouTube, and wherever you get your podcasts, it's the legend, everybody, the great Yakov Smirnov in the house. How you doing buddy? You're in town, you're doing the Tonight Show tomorrow night. Oops, sorry about that. That's correct. Yes. How are you? Excited about it? Very, very. How many times have you done the Tonight Show? Seven times, but only with Johnny Carson.

You've only done it with Johnny Carson? Yes. Wow. Yeah. Did you get the ban from Jay Leno? Like, Joan Rivers? Joan Rivers says she was banned. I didn't get an official ban, but there was never an invite either. Did you know Jay Leno? Yeah, I still, yeah. You guys came up together at the same time, right? I liked Jay very much. And so here's the reason that this was happening because the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991

And David Letterman had a top ten list of things that will now change I made number one on the list the Ark of Smyrna will be out of work That's getting a pink slip on national television I think somebody did that with me in 2007 I think somebody did that with me in 2007. Well, it totally six months later, none of my contracts, Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Taha, none of them were renewed. So I started looking for a place where they did not know that the Soviet Union collapsed.

And I ended up in Branson, Missouri. They still don't know, it's been 32 years. And I'm not gonna tell them. Well you did, you opened up this, I mean, ornate, beautiful theater. Yes. I heard this back in the day, oh, Yakov went and opened up his own theater.

But I've seen it, it's beautiful. Like it is like what they used to make theaters back in the day. Yeah, I wanted Catherine the Great to be proud of me. That's how grand I wanted it to be. Yeah, it's really a very cool place. And I performed there most of the time. I entertained over six million people in that town.

Would you say you're a destination show? Someone told me, there's, I would say it's kind of like that. Yeah, I wanna go see you. I go to your theater in Branson. They associate me and, yeah, Russian comedian and Branson, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. But Danny Roberts, you know the agent Danny Roberts, he'd been around for a long time, he was an APA.

He said to me, Jakub, people know normally when somebody lives in the East Coast or they live in the West Coast, you created your own coast. I said, okay, that's what happened, yeah. What made you fall in love with that place particularly? I needed money and no, literally, there was no, I'm not exaggerating, I tried to do club dates

after the Soviet Union collapse and I was like erased from media completely. It was like I represented the Soviet Union, and I was, you know, I was relieved the tension of Americans that have about the Soviet Union and the nuclear attack and all that. So I was kind of directly associated with that. And that was when it's like,

I was like preparation H to a pain in the butt to America, which was Soviet Union. And I, and preparation H only works, you know, when the swelling and the itching and jam it in there you with your finger you don't you don't need it anymore okay yeah why wouldn't they believe that you would now have material like as your material kept going that it would be about the fall of the Soviet like you know I mean like the it would have been interesting to hear your take on that

rather than just say well you're gone you're gone with Gorbachev. Yes it seemed like that would be a good idea but unfortunately once you pitch and hold the story comes to mind I had a manager that managed Cher at one point and he said when she was a singer and wanted to act everybody was saying she's a singer she can't act she wins the Academy Awards and then she wants to go on tour as a singer and everybody says you're an actor no you're an actress you're not a singer so it takes that it took me 32 years kind of to be in that environment. And then finally I just kind of looked at what's going on in the comedy scene right now,

which is Nate, in my opinion, woke me up out of like deep sleep or my hibernation. And Nathan Bergazzi kind of, I saw that success and I went, wait, I used to do that in the 80s that's so funny cuz he put me into a suicidal success really makes me want to kill me no no no I came up no I love Nate he's the best I'm very happy for him no he's a multi-million I mean what the he opened for me at a call I was gonna say didn't even do good I Ah! I mean now. Nate's, he makes me feel good.

He could buy my family. Oh my. Nate is such a funny situation because I've known Nate for many, many years, very close friend of mine. And him and his wife, and it is so funny, like knowing Nate, the rube that he is under these Esquire magazines is so hilariously still there,

but he has just been money thrown on top of him with dump trucks Yeah, no, but he's he's he's fantastic and he's a brilliant comic and very squeaky clean But here is here is what I believe is going on He's definitely hilarious. He's definitely earned everything he he gets Except of your show, except of your show. But what I think is also happening, there's a wave of clean comedy need. Just like what I was meeting, the need where America

was scared of the Soviet Union, I met that need. And that's what got me into stratosphere. Can I ask a question? How fast was your rise? Was it 10 years, or was it just, you did it, you caught ahold of this, and they just found you, and you skyrocketed, was it that fast? No, I would say, I didn't speak English

when I came to Hollywood in 77. 81, I did the movie with Robin Williams, Moscow and the Hudson, which didn't require a lot of English, but it was just slowly getting, and then I did the movie with Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson and Richard Pryor those things I had small parts in those movies but they were kind of building me up but

I couldn't get in tonight's show to save my life I mean Jim McCall it was the the gatekeeper on that show and he said six times I auditioned for him every year he would say Yaakov Johnny's just not gonna like you. Not gonna like you. And last addition I did, he said, Yaakov, let's just save each other time. Why don't you get on that show when the hell freezes over? Wow. Geez.

Yeah, and I start watching Weather Channel because I'm thinking maybe. And so I kind of moved on and did whatever. I did Nightcourts, I did Miller Lite commercial. That's where Johnny saw me and he said to McCauley, why don't we have this guy on? He's good. And McCauley said we were about to.

Oh wow. And that's when it all kind of changed. That guy's dead now, right? Hopefully he is. Oh good, okay good. Did you, did you have to learn through your career to like, kind of like, I find that happening sometimes. You have to like let bygones,

I would hold grudges for a long time from things that happened when I was young, very young in comedy, and then there's years go by where you're like, who cares? I just wanna say something, if you say something smart again and do this with your glasses, I'm gonna jump over this table and smash those glasses.

The headphones keep jerking around. I'm gonna take them and smash them, okay? I don't want you to smash them. I mean, because it's really fucked up my self-esteem. Hey, let me ask you a question. Yagoff, let me really, seriously, do it again, I swear to God. I wanna watch this, this is kinda fun. Midday Tamper Tension by Bobby?

I can't, if he plays that song, he'll kill me. So the answer is that when I got a phone call from Mid-Sea Shore, at that time there was no cell phones. So she left a message for me at the Charlie Goodnights comedy club in North Carolina, or South Carolina, whatever. North. North, yeah. So I get that message, call me. So I call Mitzi and I go, what's going on?

And she goes, guess who called? Jim McCauley, he's such an ass. You know, he now wants you, Johnny likes you, he wants you on the show right away. And talking about grudges, right, my first reaction was, why don't you shove it, right? And that grudge lasted about half a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then it was like, forget Macaulay, I'm doing the tonight show. I love that everybody has a Mitzi impression. Oh yeah. That's so funny. a Mitzi impression. Oh yeah. That's so funny. The Russian expression of Mitzi, yeah. And now my dad is going to be okay. But still, I mean, you can still have the bad feel.

I mean, obviously you do the show, still you take your opportunities, but I mean, do you still have like a Jim Macaulay's a dick like for years, even after you do the show, or do you just kinda let it, who cares? Well, I tell the stories, so I guess. That's true, fuck him, fuck him. You heard it here first.

You want to borrow Jay's glasses so you can do this? Well, I tell this story. But there was an interesting thing. I did the Tonight Show, first one, and Carson called me over, which was kind of unexpected. That's the thing, that's when you're getting anointed, right, basically? In a way, yeah, but I was like, the thing, that's when you're getting anointed, right, basically? In a way, yeah, but I was like,

oh yeah, it's not gonna happen for me. And he calls me over, and I sit down, and I, Jimmy Brogan is, you probably know, he's a great comedian and good friend. And he was there with me for tonight's show there, and he said, Jak me for tonight's show there and he said, Yacov, if it happens, sit down and just tell a joke. Don't wait for him because he has no,

he doesn't have any questions for you. So just do it. So and when he called me over, I sat down and I said, Johnny, you know, I love America because you have things we never had in Russia Like policemen's have warning shots and you almost fell off the chair. This is when the McCauley comes over Sits between me and Johnny during the break and goes can you do another set like this a couple of months from now? I go

Does hell freezes over sound familiar? And he goes, touche, touche. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Oh, that's good that you called him out a little bit. Yeah, I did it seven times after that. That's amazing. That's great.

I mean, and is that where your career really ended? That's what, no, I mean. Ended, ended. Well, the last Tonight Show is when the Soviet Union was collapsing already. And it started basically, it took off, I think Miller Lite commercial was bigger than anything that I've done, movies or television, because it was in everybody's house and during, you know, Super Bowl or whatever so all of a sudden I was that guy and that you know and I remember like I you know got invited to the

White House too and it was a funny scene actually the guy who invited me he said I'm having dinner with Reagan and and Nancy they're coming to my house, and I'm going, this guy's off the rocker, but he was true, and he invited me to be a guest, 18 people guest in his house. And I went there, and there's all these two helicopters hanging over his house, there are barricades everywhere. This is is what's like to have dinner with Nate Barghese now, though I have the experience. Yeah, it's just every helicopters

So I'm so I'm I'm wish you had the glasses for that one. I'm sorry That's egging him on. That's not fair. So anyway, so I feel like here I am with, you know, I'm sitting in the car with the owner of the house that the Reagans are going to be in. And I'm in the passenger seat and there's FBI guys and they're like mean to him.

They take him out of the car, they frisk him, they ask him for IDs. I'm going, I'm a dead meat here. Russian going to see American president, that's not gonna happen. And the guy, I'm sitting in the passenger seat and he gets the flashlight, flashes on me and he goes, middle of the night commercial, right? Go in. gets the flashlight, flashes on me,

and goes, Miller Light commercial, right? Go in. That was, I knew the power, the Miller Light, opened more doors for me than anything else. And that's where you got all the information for the KGB. You got that, right? No, I have to do what I gotta do. A lot of loose talk that night. A lot.

And it was the night when Reagan sent military helicopters to scare Omar Qaddafi in Libya. And I'm sitting across, so it's like a big table, and nine people on one table, and another nine people on one table and another nine people and and this day and I'm sitting like this with the president and behind him There is this Marine with the football which has all the nuclear codes Right and I'm telling jokes and we're laughing the whole the whole evening The Marine is trying not to laugh but he is having tough time with this. And I'm going, if I bomb, that's one thing, but if he does, that's a different story there.

That's gotta be an intimidating thing. That you, what were you thrust? Do you know how bad me and him would bomb if we had dinner with the president? Oh my God. Oh God, we'd have to leave the country. Yeah, I wouldn't do well at all When you came to Hollywood you didn't speak When you got the whole roster now without, because you went from such a short time

not speaking English to like in Hollywood technically. What was like the craziest thing you were thrusting? Was there crazy Hollywood parties you just weren't ready for, like the drugs and all that kind of partying like that? Because they did name you in the Diddy party. Did you know that? Yeah. No.

Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. No. It came out today. Oh, jeez.'m sorry. No. Yeah, it came out today. Oh, jeez. I saw it today. It was Jay-Z, Yakov Smirnoff. Oh, no. Fitty Cent, Ellen DeGeneres.

Oh, no. It's all over the place. Alonzo Hamburger Jones. And Steve Byrne. And Steve Byrne. Well, mine was a little different. I lived in a comedy house that Mitzi owned, and Andrew Daskley was my roommate for three years.

And then there was a bunch of comedians, Sam Kenison would live there. I mean, they were just rotating. And they, Andrew never did drugs but the other guys they would do a lot so they would have Richard Pryor and Robin Williams there all night long and I, Mitzi gave me a job as a carpenter because I didn't speak English well enough to perform so I would have to go to bed early to get up like at 8 o'clock to go work Fixed tables or whatever Polish or destroyed and I would just go there

And and these guys were just coming like at 1 o'clock in the morning and they start partying and it was loud You know, hey, yeah, yeah, but your boy is gonna eat your fucking peanut butter You're crazy motherfucker. Come on in and do coke on my dick. Is that a good? Who was that? Who was that? That was Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, and Sam, I don't know. Hey, Yakov, Sam Kinison shit in the tub.

Just pay attention when you get in. Wake up. Oh, oh, oh, he's rushing. Oh, look at his dick. It's uncircumcised. Oh, no. Can you imagine having to be really nice to a young Paulie Shore, too? I go, wake up, oh, oh, oh, he's rushing, oh, look at his dick, it's uncircumcised, oh, no. Can you imagine having to be really nice

to a young Paulie Shore too? Because you're living in his mom's house and he's like, hey buddy, and you're like, get this fucking kid outta here. True, true. That's such an amazing pedigree to come up with. That is insane that you came up in that era of comedy. Yeah, yeah, it was.

And you're still killing it. I mean, you've actually adapted. You were on Story Wars, I was there that night, you killed it on that, which is great. You're on it twice, you're kinda getting back in the mix, you're doing The Tonight Show again. This is like a renaissance of what's happening. I'm excited about this, and I give credit to Nate Bargatze,

even though it's... I mean, we're helping you, too. This show's really good. That's why I'm here. Mostly us. Mostly us, a little bit of Nate Bargatze. Yeah, it's mostly Bonfire and a little bit of... I appreciate it. But it does help me, and I'm married to a very beautiful young woman that and we're

we're just we're we're expecting a baby what I'm sorry what how old are you yarkov he's old Hollywood you can't I can't ask that that's all that's fair 47 I'm 47. Yeah I'm a little older than her, but she is a young beautiful woman and she's American. Oh my lord She's Ukrainian Wow and Yeah, I'll show you so you're on that side But but overall this has been a very interesting journey. So yesterday we did a photo shoot with... Don't show Jay these.

Ah, he'll be doing this in no time. That's your wife? That's my wife, yeah. And she's pregnant. Bobby, what are you doing? Are these full nudes or something? Why are you getting so excited over there? Wow, don't show him the other ones.

Aw. It's beautiful. Aw. Oh, what are you doing? Are these full nudes or something? Why are you getting so excited over there? Wow, yeah, don't show him the other ones. Aw. It's beautiful. Aw. Oh, good for you. Aw. Good job. Yeah, she's very pretty. I still got it.

From Missouri? Yeah. She lives in Missouri, we lived there together. Is that where she's from? She's from Ukraine. Oh, she's from Europe, correct. Did you meet her, where'd you meet her, online? In Ukraine, oh, I, see I I went through divorce in and I have two

kids from the first marriage and I didn't really know anybody who had divorce in the Soviet Union so I was really bombed you know I didn't know what I did wrong or she did was. So I went. It was her. No. You're here, we're on your side. It was her. She probably made you cheat. I didn't cheat and neither did she. Right.

Sure. Hey, hey, hey. You have your own theater. Don't judge everybody by your measurements. That's fair. You have your own theater but you didn't cheat. We got you. Hey, we got you. You have your own theater, but you didn't cheat. We gotcha. Hey, we gotcha.

You guys. No, but what happened is we went our separate ways and I decided, so I started figuring this out. So I literally went on a quest to figure out why did laughter die in the relationship because that's as a comedian that became my kind of quest. Did you have a sword on the quest? Of course. Okay. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Always have a sword on a quest. Yes yes. Yeah yeah definitely I'm still I still have it. They wouldn't let me for security with it

but no. Yeah somebody on shade 45 hip- hop station got stabbed in the sword, so. But they were on a quest, but not different quests. They were on a quest too, but it got a little dicey with the sword play. And so I went and I went and started doing scientific research on laughter. So I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my master's degree in psychology,

and then I went to Pepperdine University and got my master's degree in psychology. And then I went to Pepperdine University and got my doctor degree. I was really into understanding why does laughter die. And it's fascinating because it's very simple. We, as comedians, we meet people's needs. They need laughter, we need money, and it's an exchange basically every time. And America, I realized that America needed me

in the 80s because I was doing, I was providing this relief. And then I said, well, what can I do? And so I started learning about this, and then I couldn't find anybody who wanted to have a baby with me in my age in America. So I went to Ukraine. And they're all over the place over there.

Well, it wasn't that easy. And they can't wait to get pregnant over there. It wasn't easy. It wasn't, no, because I was looking for very specific, as you can see, I'm pretty hot. Yeah, don't want to marry an old Ukrainian lady your age no you wanted she's I mean she's beautiful yeah I just went to Nifo. Wow you are now I know why you got a young girl. So I I feel very lucky that I met her, but I went to Ukraine, I hired like three agencies that would introduce me to women, and two weeks I had 51 dates, and none of them I liked.

And so I decided now I have a doctor degree, maybe I can be that American professor who comes in and does a seminar about relationships. And that's how you get laid. Fuck a student. Nice. No, well, she wasn't a student. She was promoting it.

Yes. Fuck the promoter. Jay. Yeah, no. He boils it down. Put your glasses back on. Put your glasses back on. I apologize. You know what? This is not glasses talk.

Yeah, this is. This is not glasses talk. That's my fault. Put the glasses back on. Ask the question again, Jay. With the glasses. So you came back here. You're going to be a teacher, a professor, so you could.

I... Fuck a student. That's not... you came back here you're gonna be a teacher a professor so you could I fuck a student that's not it sounds very similar you had glasses off you know try one more time Bobby so you so you came back here you were gonna become a professor with you new dog and so that you could sleep with your students thank you so much a for cleaning it up. That's about time, yes. Nate Bergazzi will be proud of you. That's why you're-

It is funny how much people are surprised. Whenever me and Nate do anything together, or there's something online with it, they go, are you kidding me? People are like, are you guys, I'm like, yes. Yeah, you're a friend. But that's why you're a thousandaire. This is why, yeah, that's why I'm a thousand there. I'm gonna be working the door at Nate land

Give a pool that's only four feet high the whole way through It is true, but it's great for pool basketball. It's the best And for drowning your wife Also, yes It's that kind where you can keep putting her down and pulling her out and telling her why you're doing it to her and then tell Her that she's making you do it to her you're Making me do it Killing our wives a lot here. We don't have young hot pregnant wives. We got a dawn and yeah Over here. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, he's got an a cup. I got a beep club and we're done. Okay

Yeah, you need and although they don look it, both of our girls look pregnant. No! I don't know. Whoa! Paco, don't mark that down. Paco, you know what? Take that out of the post. Take that, cut it out of the post.

That's the clip. Is this live? This is going to be live, right? You need my course on relationships. This is very possible. So did you come back and actually teach a course on relationships? Is that what you relationships? Yes, I did. Is that what you did?

Yes, I did. But I needed somebody to promote it, and she was a promoter, and so I reconnected. I didn't see her at first. We just talked online, and then when I saw her, I said, I really don't need to do this seminar anymore because I really like her. But we already were committed, so we had a couple of hundred other women came and she kept wanting to get me hooked up with them because she didn't think that I was interested or you know I was too old I wasn't young enough right and

then little by little she kind of liked me I I think she has a bad eyesight honestly so yeah that's what's going on I'm gonna tell you dude. You kept your shit tight You know you look good. You're really good. Does she get you to do things out of your comfort zone like like eat healthy food? Yes, no, he's talking about ass play. I mean, I'm not I don't mean oh, I'm sorry Bobby I don't I'm sorry, I messed up. Please don't, yeah. I did not mean ass play. Oh, you, no, I mean like newer concerts

that maybe it's music you wouldn't be into or stuff like that, dancing or things that you would just be like, where you'd feel like out of place being the older person. Yeah, I don't know if she is as familiar with the American culture as much as, but she does. She's happy for indoor heat and plumbing, probably. You're right, that was the right move.

Yeah. She likes a nice hot stew. I can provide that. I got this one over here who's had indoor plumbing her whole life. You have bread with dinner. Absolutely. God, she's had it so good for so long.

I know. So we've watched a lot of Russian television, Ukrainian television. What's a Russian show that we should watch that's funny? Is there any funny ones? But you wouldn't understand it. There's nothing physically like Benny Hill from Britain. None of that that I know of.

But we watched, she is into movies and they're kind of romantic. They're more like, uh, uh, Hallmark movies. They're, everybody's sweet and nice. And she likes it and I like hanging out with her. So that's what I'm doing. Do you like Schitt's Creek? The show Schitt's Creek.

I don't know. I don't, I live in Branson. I, we don't get that. He loves his wife. She clearly doesn't watch Schitt's Creek. I don't know. I don't, I live in Branson. We don't get that. He loves his wife. She clearly doesn't watch Schitt's Creek. They don't have any marital problems because she doesn't watch Schitt's Creek. What is Schitt's Creek? It's what I am for bringing it up.

Got it. Okay. Get it? What do you say? It's Canadian humor, so it fits the need for, we think Canadians are a bunch of stupid tree chopping snow idiots, and then Christine approves it with the comedy of Eugene Levy.

Yeah, it's a number one show that literally was number one for, I believe, eight years. So it was Trailer Park Boys. Well, I mean, it was a hit show. Canada doesn't understand comedy. It's why it's ridiculous. They always had Just For Laughs festival in stupid fucking Montreal. What a terrible place for it.

Yeah, he knows because he was speaking English, their third language now. Like it's the crazy every time we go back every year, we go back to Just For Laughs. It was another year. They'd go next year. If you speak English at all, they're gonna kick you out of the country. It's like they keep moving to like, everything's gotta be French. Why is the biggest festival in the world

with all the agencies coming from America? And it was because the agents and managers wanna go to daytime strip clubs where the girls get fully nude. That's what it is. Because it's a party city. There was nothing, the comedy was always terrible there. Did you, you've been to Montreal just for laughs?

I have opened it. I was there. You did the first one. Yeah, me and Jerry Seinfeld, yep. Wow, that's great. Now, are you still friends, like the comic friends you had back in the day, are you still friends with them?

Or did some of them, when you fell off, did they dump you too? Or did they stay? I don't think we were, I would like with Andrew, I still, I'm doing his documentary, they're doing documentary on him. So they asked me to do that, this trip.

And so I stayed friends with him. A lot of friends are no longer alive. A lot of people, you know, or, so I continue, when I see Jerry or you know he goes, Yakov do you realize we're the only ones who were very few of us still doing this out of the group of the class that we started with. I don't even think about the fact on night court the two stand-ups of Marshall Warfield and Harry Anderson. Both passed. Was he a magician more of a stand-up Marshall Warfield and Harry Anderson, both passed.

Both gone. Was he a magician more of a standup? He was a standup magician. It was funny, yeah, it was funny. Gacow. Yeah. Can I ask you a, Yeah.

You knew Robin from the comedy story, but did that help you? I love Moscow and the Hudson. Yes. So is there a connection there? How you got the movie? Absolutely, absolutely. I was still being a carpenter there,

but I would do like once in a while, she would put me up like on the open mic night or something. And then Robin saw me and when they were casting the movie Mask on a Hudson, he brought Paul Mazursky to see me. Paul Mazursky wrote the movie and produced directed and so they casted me on this and when I came to New York to do the movie Robin was here a little bit earlier and I said Robin the scene that we have could be punched up a little bit. What do you think? And he goes, yeah, it's a good idea, let's do it.

So we improvised a bunch of stuff. And we thought. Danny stole your jokes. No, no, no, no, no, no. And no. No, do I need to wear glasses too? Is that what I need? Sorry.

Listen, he's gotta put them on because he gets inappropriate energy when he doesn't have the glasses on. He borrowed your materials. He did not. No, not. So we improvised a bunch of stuff and then next morning we were supposed to shoot the scene and Paul Masurki goes, okay guys, let me see what you got. And so we did our version of what we were trying to do

and Paul Mazursky sat there for a second and he goes, let me get it straight, you changed my script? And I go, yeah, and Robin goes, yeah. And we're like, do you like it? And he goes, I'll give you five minutes to put it back the way it was Or both of you are fired What I didn't know and Robin forgot to tell me he loved improvising. He loved winging it, you know and

Masursky made him sign the contract that he's not going to go off script at all Well, we have to let Yakov go. He's got a show tonight. He's got a show tonight and tomorrow He's doing the tonight show tonight. So make sure you tune in tomorrow night tonight show He'll be on it for the first time triumphant return 35 years. That's unbelievable. You're doing stand-up on it. Yes Orlando Bloom is the headliner. Yeah That's nose fingers. He's going to be in Nashville on June 25th. Here he is right here, the great American comedy festival in Johnny Carson's hometown, North Fork, Nebraska, on June 14th.

The Grand Ole Opry in Nashville on the 25th, June 25th. For tickets and all the tour dates, visit Yakov.com. The Comedy Couch with Yakov Smirnoff is available on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. And, go ahead, Jay, finish it off. Oh, he's gonna be on The Tonight Show tomorrow with Jimmy Fallon. Tuesday, June 10th, make sure you tune in.

Set your DVRs, watch it for sure. And we'll be right back. It's the bonfire.