The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - MJ vs Prince

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

The guys try to settle an age-old debate. Michael Jackson or Prince?

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, The Bond Fire with Big J. O'Crosson and Robert Kelly. Well, Bobby, you feel like you have some apologies to make. I'm willing to accept that because ironically, I feel like I know what made you think of that. Can I see if I could trace your thought process?

I love when you try to trace my thought process, please. Bobby just said that he was wrong about something. Yes. And then he needs to make amends on the show. He said it was a declaration of something. Something's better than something else you said. Now you're like, well, I was wrong about that. And I know it made you think of that.

We're listening to everybody want some by Van Halen, Not Van Halen. And at one point you told me you were thinking your head like, Oh, remember I said, Sammy Hagar Van Halen was better than David Lee Roth. And then I played you. We just ran through a couple of Van Halen's New York ass shit. Yeah. Damn it. David Lee Roth was cooler and better. And now you you have to make another you have to come down again from your cloud Yeah, what we're finding out is I'm wrong a lot Welcome to the bonfire I'm Robert Kelly Big Joe gerson big Joe gerson raw dog comedy central

No Faction dog 103 serious ex-app we work for everybody Listen to high heat radio. High heat sports. It's high heat. First of all, yes, I made a big mistake. I last week on the bonfire. I said that the Joker, Jared Lido, Jared Leto.

How do you say it? Leto.edo, Jared Leto. How do you say it? Leto? Leto? Leto? Leto. Leto. Jared Leto, who I still think is gorgeous and I still think is great actor. I say he was number two as Joker. I said, excuse me. Nobody been me or you. That was weird timing.

I don't know who that was. I said he was the number two. Joker. Over Joaquin Phoenix. I rewatched, I got a lot of heat for that. Really? I got a lot of heat. Okay. I got a lot of social media heat.

To watch you with Max? No. Too much for him. The Joker? Yeah. Yeah. He's just, he's got a ADHD. He's not gonna sit there and watch that movie.

It's pretty intense. It's intense, but he's not gonna watch. It's too much quiet, you know what I mean? Sure. He's like his mom. So I watch it and he, it's definitely Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix. Jack Nicholson is not number three.

I know everybody's like Jack Nicholson, he's not. He's a good actor, but he's not. He was over the top. Again, actually, and you're right, Lou, I agree with this. Prince is the second best joker. Prince from the Bat Dance video. No, another thing I say, I don't disagree with Howard Stern 180 on a lot of things, but his love of I think the whole album of Prince Music inspired by the Batman movie, he thinks is one of the greatest things ever. I'm like, there's not a good song on it. You're right. Through these scrambly shitty songs, he loves them. It's when it's it's it seemed

like when he got he got too much money and he got too many toys and he was just playing with them all in one song you know one album. Do you get to do? Do you know it? Is that an electric isylophone? Yeah, you know it. You know it is. Yeah, you got too many toys.

Look at all the keyboards. Yeah, the key boards. Yeah, by the way with what he's doing those keyboards is not the song Yeah, that's all keyboard You know when they have a keyboard where it's just big big big color buttons He does a split that split come up and split that split come up and prince is not

overrated he's not underrated at all he's dead he's dead definitely dead but i will say uh... princess thing was a little annoying his little sexy man thing it really I just never quite got it. You didn't like it, you didn't like it, my gay and my-

I always thought it was stupid. Do I fuck checks? Do I have a reason when the dub's crying, he's in a milk bath. Maybe he adjusts to demanding. You know what he says in that song? That I always think is a funny line. Is a fat person that would never say this He goes touch if you will

Must come in yeah, we'd have to say stomachs I'll teach you my lower stomach. I say hold hold if you will my stomach. Can you hold that? Can you hold up my stomach? Yeah, he's not I like the money with sexy though Prince Apollonia Purple rain if you can't buy he's four eleven It's very hard to buy. What genuinely is this one does cry a video? Yeah. Also, I know I wear sweatshirts in the summertime, but I will say any time a year, Prince was too layered. I mean, who wears a scarf? A scarf, a leather jacket, a frilly shirt, a turtleneck underneath. And don't forget all that hair. Leather gloves, leather pants, boots and a lot of bandanas.

They're at a lake. They're at a lake! But he's on a motorcycle, Jay. Show him with the lake. Show Bobby that. But he's on a motorcycle you need protection he was rolling around in the grass by a lake with a woman who is equally there like two vampires were walking around during the day but they

both had high heels on to walking around a swamp oh I know he had to wear high heels I just can't take Prince seriously as a sex symbol I get it but I mean could you imagine like being sexually threatened by him Donor Christine would break his wiener off But did he have a big piece maybe had a big piece not a chance you to hurt of it What's that was he openly bisexual what does that mean did you find out something behind his back? You have been holding back. I don't think he was he was not bisexual he wasn't no no turn that around so let him see that he just put on the end of the one that does cry video because it is the gayest thing i think he acted

gay that was his whole thing like he acted gay it was ambiguous but like no i got here it was always he had girls but he banked everybody did he though yes he fucked them all but you're about to just name the people who he produced Block like an Egyptian bang their Shenato Con or bang their apolonia Batchinito Connor very dead nobody banged Shenato Con good. He banged her. He must have he fucked her Why cuz he wrote a song she was hot back in the day. No, she wasn't hot for a one She was hot for a one for one for one. Oh, she was hot for one for a one She was hot during she was but the hottest one you could have she was kind of hot with the one song

Sure that video they did everything they could to make her pretty that video look at other videos in that time She's hairy armpit and skinny weird and then sort of sort of fat, and she's their bulbous head. She actually looks like the guy, who she looks like, remember the movie identity? Remember that it was all happening inside his head? She looks like that guy. That's a reference.

Yeah. He's the wiggly eye guy. The wiggly eye guy. Oh, that guy. She was not bad back then. Yeah, pro-it Taylor Vince. She looks like pro-it Taylor Vince. Are you saying Are you saying the wiggly eye guy? That's a disease. Yeah. What is that disease called? Shnido Connor

disease. Everyone's every I love him as an actor, but as soon as I if I don't see it, I'm fine with them. But as soon as I catch it, I'm fucked for the rest of the movie. Yeah, I can't not see it after you see it. It takes a lot to avoid that wacky eye I don't know why they just don't add it into the script. Well, he was a lunatic in identity So it worked perfect all is good doing everything he does yet my eyes a little weird and then I'm in I'm confined with it That should be in special skills. I got a weird eye that helps with anything, but anyway, she need a car Sneeter car looks like

Did you say Prince, what? Susanna Hoth? The, the, what, the, the lead singer of the Bengals. You called her a wolf like an Egyptian member. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I know. Walk like an Egyptian. Oh, yeah, he fucked a wolf like an Egyptian.

Yeah, he fucked it. Yeah. Why are you mad at that? I don't know, I don't learn women's names. It's called them by their one accomplishment. Jacob, why are you mad at? Oh, yeah, you used to to date uh... keeps the clean house ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He did not fuck Shenato Conner, by the way. Of course not. How do you know he didn't? I don't see any evidence.

There's evidence. He gave her a song. Hey, if you get a song by, for Prince, you had to fuck them. That's a fact. Look it up, Christine. Look at that. I'm looking at it. All right.

You heard it here first. I'll tell you what, you heard it here first. Prince leveraged his fame and writing ability to get pussy with women who didn't want it. So now you're saying technically he rapes who's at a hoax and she need to come. He's a predator, that's what I'm saying. Yes, put him back there.

It wasn't a predator, it was a producer. Oh, paisley park. Big difference. Oh, the nightmare secrets that are in paisley park. I know. We have to go, you can go to his house for some reason now. You get a tour, because you know his family took over. It's so weird.

Like the cousins opened it up. I'm gonna kick open a cabinet and take a big boot. Take a high heel boot. You get a purple ice cream I bet how big were Prince's feet. I bet hilariously small He had he had a seven and a half Yeah, maybe You imagine But if you look at his first video what's that that first song that he came out with? What was that sexy song? He was half naked in it You can kind of see his his song in the outfit. You can see his shit. You can see it

The first song he came out with his first his first video back when he had an afro Want to be your lover? Want to be your lover? Watch that video. when he's like the disco outfit dude. He is I mean he is I know we're on a pre-record here, but Christine you have to look Christine's look No, no, I know but like I feel like Lou you guys are always showing two different things There's a video you just pulled like the audio's over if you could because I end up looking both directions There's a video of Prince is is first video that he made for the song as I wanna be your lover, and he's pretty much naked in the video.

I think it's the wrong video. No, that's it. I think that's it. It goes into the, you gotta go further into the video, Christine, and it will show him. Yeah, right there, see? Yeah, look at him. Oh, I mean, come on, dude.

I Did I did a putter in girl look just like that I bet I'll tell you what you take that mustache off I shovel in his mouth in his mouth Look at him. He has a penis. Bobby. I can't put in his pussy. You can put in his butt is the ass pussy Dude, I'm not gay? All right, dude I'm apologize. I might be I'm just mouth fucking prince. Okay, you're right. You're right. He's a beautiful lady Gorgeous. Yeah, I never quite got his thing You would you Michael Jackson of Prince

To fuck I mean we can go that route. Yeah, which one to fuck our prints. Okay to date No, remember he had right. I'll tell you what yeah Michael Jackson's more fun. He's got neverland We got more stuff would rather hang it paisley park or neverland I don't want to hang it paisley park where he goes you want to walk in my purple backyard Of my purple sheets and my purple curtains? You could use the bathroom. It's by there. It's right down there the purple bathroom. Yeah, can you call me the artist in my own house? I'm alright. You'd rather do you'd rather do my MJ's yeah, right a Ferris wheel

You play with it play with a llama Yeah, I feel like you'd have like video games and stuff like that like fun princess gonna be all like At some point I'm not gonna want to hear his funk or shit anymore, but princess trying to bang funk You know like funk. I don't want to hear talk about funky shit all day. I'm with you Yeah, so you both will go you want to go play video games and and pedagraph. Yeah, I get Michael Jackson I understand dude. Let's talk fucking Dude, let's talk fucking zipper. Like, let's talk extra zippers on shit.

I'm fine with that. Buckles, buckles and gloves. Well, MJ was zippers and Prince was more buttons. Oh, it was open buttons. All buttons. He loved buttons. How do you have a shirt that's too small for a 4 foot 11 man? Who was he shopping in toddler pateats?

Was he 5'5?" No, that's the shoe. A 5 and a half. Who was he shopping in toddler petite was he five five? No, that's the shoe a five and a half what how tall was he? Christine wears a nine Five Jesus Christ that's mom woman's woman. Sorry. Okay. Sorry 15 minutes. Jesus. She's a leather man She's five foot two. He's an inch smaller than Kevin Hart. Christine doesn't have a bigger foot than me. No, it's a seven in men's. Okay, good. She got an 11, a men's 11.

She's an 11, men's 11. Well, they're a little bit, but if she pumps them, huh? I look down on prints. He's a little bitch, dude. Fuck prints up. That's why you'd fuck prints and go on a date with Michael Jackson. That's why you'd fuck Prince and yeah, and go on a date with Michael Jackson. Exactly right I will you would so you'd live with MJ and you'd fuck Prince Here's the thing Prince you're gonna be mobbed on the way to the restaurant you go to or whatever and you're gonna end up

In there and some weird private room. We have the time Michael Jackson has some like we'll exit line from a helicopter Into like a sushi place or so like he's got more fun shit going on with his money. Yeah, but he used all of his riches to fly families away so we could fuck their children. Yeah, he's fun. That's fun. That's fun. You're right. He's fun. He doesn't just go by when I'm going to molest your kids. They go, I'm sending you guys to the top of the grand canyon. People aren't allowed to go there and just give me five, six hours. Just tee off on your boys asshole. That's fun. You're right. He's, he's definitely fun. He's way funner. And, and, and Prince never did that. Anything with kids. That's not fun.

No, right. He's not fun. He's not fun. He's, he's not fun. He was in the like regular adult women. And he was like a girl a decade. Apollonia, vanity, Carmen Electra. He was in the chicks his own age. And he fucked Sheila E who he kept her, who was hot, but took her hot away, she looked masculine because she was larger than he was. Ugh. Ugh. Prince is not. Who thinks Prince is sexy?

I wish this was a live show people can call in. I think Prince is sexy. You don't think Prince is sexy? As a man man his energy His energy me she'll eat she'll eat the shit. She was great She's also banged to it. He banged everybody dude. He banged her He every woman that was in touch with him. He banged the girls in the band. I bet it was beard shit though I'm telling you girls don't want to fuck a five-two guy.

Prince and gay man. They were in, what he was going. He was in all of his power. His was talent. Yeah. They were in all of his talent, but also he gave them hit songs. All the songs that they got were from him.

He wrote them, he gave them, and then he was also, Like every once in a while you gotta to hop on this ants dick and then fucking and then it'll hop in the studio do something for you Michael Jackson wanted him to be in the bad video member and he turned it down he MJ approached Prince at both of their peaks because they were kind of fighting at the same time like who's the best right and he says I'd like you to be in the bad video. And he read the lyrics and it was, he was supposed to be the other guy. Wesley Snipes.

Wesley Snipes. And, I think it might have been. But he was supposed to be the guy and he goes, dude, I'm not, there's an interview with him actually saying, I think it was Arsenio. He's like, yeah dude, it was about some other guy, Yoass is mine and he was making fun of MJ. He was like, did you hear the lyrics of that song?

And he was like, what? Yoass is mine? No, that ain't happening. He was like, fuck that. Prince is never been a sissy. Prince has always been a bout chicks. He ran from it because he knew it was going to expose himself. Listen to me, I'm going gonna tell you something right now.

Okay. Who do you think has had more women in their life? Me or you? Who's had more crazy sex? Me or you? Shit. Answer's me. Oh yeah, answer me.

You're an older gentleman. I'm an older gentleman, but I did a lot of banging back in the day and how I did, you know, you get a lot of pussy? Be short and spin around and do splits. You, you come close to gay. Come close. Walk on the edge of gay. Walk on the edge of gay, Jay. And more women will come with you.

Women love to be on the edge of gay. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at the, look at me in the eye. Right now. Look at me. Yeah. Look at me. Walk on the edge of gay. I know you were a bad ass kid growing up me. Walk on the edge of the game. I know you were a badass kid growing up. I was on the edge of the game though. But you you have a soft features. Yep, I do. And that are very pretty. You have very pretty features. And so that is I understand you have to walk on the edge of the game. Yeah. I have to go the other direction of that. I've got to be like

hillbilly chic. You have to walk on the edge of the forest. Yes, I do off on the edge of Hagrid. You go. You have to be a wizard? I have to be a wizard of some sort. I'm have to figure out when my hair starts going gray on top at all, I'm have to figure out what I'm gonna do with that.

Dude, let me taste it right now. You're walking the edge of gay now. You got, you got, My behavior walks the edge of gay very much. You have new teeth, you get trimmed up, your eyebrows done, you get stuff on your pits. You always look perfect. I like to sleep on a guy's,

like my face on a guy's dick, but I don't put him in my mouth at all. I do just like the stealing of like rolling around. Edge of gay, my friend, edge of gay. Right? Yeah, you're right there buddy I like a soft dick just like knocking around my face when I sleep yeah I go on like you're in there I don't know why it makes me feel safe maybe that's my

repressed memories I think Prince is 100% straight he walked that edge of gay and what he liked to wear women's clothes speaking of edge of gay speaking of edge of gay black loose in the house got that trimmed up look at that hair black blue. What's up? Well, here's the thing you do Prince without the sexy. Yeah, it's just Mars Day Mars Day was Prince without the sexy You know, you know, no, no, I was just thinking about it. I was just thinking about it Yeah, I mean, I guess so. Yeah, more stay was goofy though.

He's like the dance and the soul and the funk. Yeah, but Prince had, you know what Prince had passion. Sure. Way, way better. But like, I don't know, what can I watch? One of my favorite things in the world is to watch a male strip club videos where the girls like where they do like pull their dicks out and cut not the ones that are fake the

British one no like what the ones that are like it's like just black like clubs where they go and like there's like male strippers go and they have like you know that's like yeah you know laser and then he comes out like dances but it picks these fat women up in the air yeah but I mean their behavior and Christina said this before, they used to have male strippers at Comics Comedy Club. The behavior of male stripping is gay. Even those women around screaming and throwing money,

yeah. You're acting gay. So you said Dante's gay. You're right. I acted gay. He's gay. He acted gay. On the edge of gay.

To get what? Money. Money. To get the women. You gotta be on the edge of gay to get what money to get the women You got to be on the edge of gay baby You know that money you got to be on the edge of gay Christine you haven't been kissed like a from a gay guy Huh, I mean on truth or dare like a pack Remember you have been kissed by a guy who was almost like gay where he sucked you up a lip and then he put his finger on your thing And when she and I I put your hair back, and then you ever do that?

What do you look at me like that for, Jake? That's fun. What? That's fun. How would a gay guy do that? Jacob, come here, let me show you something. Jacob, let's go. Just real quick.

If you're a jake, would you just walk on the edge of gay with Bobby and his second? Just on the edge of gay. No, on the edge, just like that. You guys, like your lips just do this to each other, just come over here for a second. Jacob, just on the edge of gay with Bobby and your second. Just on the edge of gay. No, on the edge. Just like us, where you guys, like your lips just do this to each other. Just come over here for a second, Jacob. Just on the edge of gay, Jacob.

Jacob, the producer of the show, Jacob's here. He's the bonfire affection talks to you. If you're just joining us. I'm Robert Kelly. That's Big Joke or something. Jacob's our producer. He's gonna mouth kiss Bobby. I filled in for Dan.

I'm, you call me AK Not Dan. Move over here for a second. Now watch, I wanna do something to you, right? It's already so. Come over here for a second. Now watch, I want to do something to you. It's already so. Come over here like this. It's too dudeish right now. Come over here like that right there. It doesn't feel so.

How did that feel? Felt what? In the microphone. Felt what? I mean like you took charge. Okay now come here watch this. Watch the edge of your gay. Come here.

Come here. Come here for a second. Come here. What's that noise? How's that feel? How'd that feel? Hey, look at me. Hey, hey How'd that feel? Look at me. Look at me. How'd that feel? How'd that feel? Huh? Yeah, and what which one did you like better? This doesn't feel like the edge of gay at all. This is the edge of gay. You're talking way far away from this. Tell that fruit yeah, tell that fruit to get closer to the microphone.

Why don't you get closer to the microphone? Come here, Jacob. Come closer. Come, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How you doing? Look at the stop, stop, stop. Don't you laugh. You guys better be fog glasses when you pull away.

Look at me, look at me, look at me. How you doing? Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Huh? You, you good to him? Hey. How are you weekend?

Yeah. Okay. Describe this so we don't get in trouble. Oh shit. I think Jacob and Bob are going to kiss. The only thing stopping him is probably the above their nose, their glasses are going to clink before they get to get close. They both have very small lips.

Do you like lips? Oh God. Oh God. I don't have to describe close. They both have very small lips. Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't have to describe it because he's throwing the whole thing. I'm wet. All right, there you go. That's it. That's the edge of game. That wasn't sexy. That was terrifying. Yeah. How do you feel? Jacob never felt worse at work. There's no starter running. Very vulnerable. Very out of very like, but not bad. Did that feel, say, I wouldn't, I didn't feel bad. It is. But I will say this.

You definitely did walk on the edge of gay. I mean, that was a walk on the edge of a knife. That was crazy. Yeah. Jacob, can I just say, you didn't pull back a lot, which I, I had it. I think I did. I mean, he pulled back a little little but not as much as I thought you Well blackwood's face says it all

Like the you're lucky you're not here because my lips and your lips are made to touch You want to talk about edge of gay You can see you're on the edge of gayness Oh of gayness. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh. Oh. I think that Prince, to me, was sexier. MJ, MJ maybe went through too many transitions. He was like off the wall, like,

it was a key says, off the wall, black, mic, never molested kids, white, mic, fuck kids, off the wall black mic never molested kids white mic fuck kids yeah off the wall and after beat it beat it and after you started fucking kids off the wall black black mic thriller was pretty much the beginning of a dorken kids I say yeah Yeah Screened a sexier vibe no doubt hotter percent sexier vibe, but as a human at least Michael Jackson again Wasn't like a midget how told Michael Jackson he was like six wires, all right. No, was he sick something? I don't think so no no I thought he was like six foot five six foot five. What is he? Mary Galman? He was am I crazy was that guy ten feet tall or is he just that awesome?

He played basketball five nine five nine okay, well dude. I mean that's fucking She gets towering over Prince. How tall was Prince? Five two five two that's on record two Two inches from what it says for men. Office penis. Oh my God. Does that mean I have a three inch dick? Oh, damn. That's a good look at Michael Jackson.

I mean, he, I don't think he was ever sexy. He also at this time over the sexy. I thought Michael Jackson was cooler. much cooler. No way. Absolutely. Michael Jackson was always a little. Frilly purple shit riding on a big motorcycle while you're wearing women's boots to doesn't do it for me. I'm sorry. I've always done. Michael Jackson had a cooler thing, dude. The sleeves rolled up on the jacket. He'll walk right into a gang fight and get him all to gay off in a garage it's pretty great he had fucking he had saggy he had saggy crystal socks do you see Michael Jackson socks yeah they're terrible they're puffy in their sparkly and

they go into his black shoes we can moonwalkwalk. He had slip on salesmine shoes. They really wear loafers. They wear loafers with saggy crystal socks. Yeah, you were moonwalking your life? Yeah, I have. How do you need those shoes then? Well, I have moonwalked the plenies. They're there, right there.

They're very comfortable. Man, they really are ugly shoes. Good for dancing. They're very ugly. Really? They're Michael Jackson shoes. Princess boots are part of the tour of his house. His custom shoe. I mean that's a man shouldn't wear those things. Why not? Crazy. Why? They really are like royalty shoes. Can I tell you something?

I swear to God. Christine, don't even look at the price. Buy a pair of them in Bobby's size and I swear to God. I swear to God. Yes, to wear them twice a week. 10 and a half wide, get him. They're cussing. Why? 10 and a half doubly, get him if they have him. I'll wear him. Yeah, good. 14 triple E.

You don't know, dude. I had a pair of these. When I had a pair of these, just a little higher, they laced up. Okay, laced up. They were cow skin, real black and white cow skin like fur like the cow hide With leather high heel I Had those with tight jeans and a white one. We were born 60s. I was 80s dude 80s 90s early 90s dude that shit

I'm not kidding. Oh you were like a dude 80 start us 80s 90s start us to the spiders of Mars. It was more irox Z Italian Bobby played guitar dude Playing with Alanda monkeys. I wish I kept them I had I had There were high heels high heels and they had a zipper on the side and they had the lace up and it was cow hide Would you wear them? And you would hear me? I would click would you wear them with blue lemons? I wore them with it a little bit. You wear your tights into them? I wore them with tight jeans like jodash jeans I had jodash jeans and then a frilly vampire shirt

Coming out of a purple Long sleeve a purple long jacket with a collar up. I had a wife beater. You know a black wife beater Did you put your hair into a nice boof font? I had a curly mullet. Okay. I had a wife beater, you know, a black wife beater. Did you put your hair into a nice boo font? I had a curly mullet. Okay. I had a long curly mullet. So I would have to wet it. That's what it looks like when the doves cry, dude.

I would have to stop at gas stations and, and, oh, the Dunkin' Donut and go in the bathroom and wet the, my curls, because they would bunch up by the end of the night from the humidity. So I would go with long hair and by like mid like 930 I would have short curly hair. I'll tell you what would hurt me was when my cool rock stars tried to get sexy. I didn't enjoy that at all when John Bon Jovie started really giving you that. I mean carpets worth of chest hair.

Yeah. I was like,ets worth of chest hair. Yeah. I was like, what are you doing? That was slippery with the white people. Yeah, but he was showing it too much at one point. By the time you get to blaze a glory, you're just wearing a vest over his fur burger of a chest. Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, that's it, right there. Blazing glory. Oh yeah, yeah. It's so funny though that all rock stars, when you meet they're just little they're music nerds. Oh, yeah They're just high people. They're just music nerds like you know, it's like they're very small little music nerds They didn't they just played guitar and piano and all that shit during high school and then grew their hair out and then He wore those shorts, whereas fucking ball sagas. he's literally in a hammock. He's a short king. He's in a hammock with tight, daisy dukes on. He's a watch, I mean, Bon Jovi. I

mean, God damn it. His chest. Well, here's a problem. Rock and roll guys. Rock and roll guys that look the cool, the coolest looking guys on stage Can't pull off close for any other situation other than being on stage and looking cool once they put on like close I'm close they look absolutely ridiculous. Yeah, there's nothing worse than seeing like even like a 1980s like Sebastian Bach when he's just to go to the store Yeah, you know, I mean, he's wearing the shorts are always too short. He has like a You know, I mean, he's where the shorts are always too short. He has like a Hathy never really wears except to go out. Alice Cooper looks like an asshole and his golf out Scoop looks like a fucking idiot in that golf. I shadow on these black tears and he's got a polo pullover Under over under

How many women John Bon Jovi has had sex with behind his wife's back. I don't think it's behind their back. They must have a situation, right? I think it was, I think that's been said. I think we talked about it. We talked about it on the air. I said he's never cheated on her and you were like, but you said he was, and I think it's, I think he's definitely had his,

but he, but as a rock star and you're married to a... That type of thing you have to allow it. You can't fight that. Roger Daltry did that with the... When he married his wife in 73, there's still together. But he put that ground rules like, look, when I'm on tour, there's no way I'm gonna be able to... I tell Dome all is coming back to you.

If I'm at comedy on state, I'm fucking. Yeah'm gonna be able to I tell don't always coming back to you if I'm at comedy on state I'm fucking yeah, it's happening. I tell I go look. I'm it's happening But I'm it what I'm it when I'm in when I'm at size but it's a bit it's happening shut shut your Twitter off You know me fat Puerto Ricans who were in tiny clothes down there want to shout at the Bobby's title you know I want to shout out the Bobby's title. You know, so many of them. You know, you know, you know, you know, you chubby chick with blue hair,

wanna bang me, wanna make comedy on state. What is that? Oh my God, is AGT coming back? Christine, go down and let me see the advertisement. When's it coming back? Tonight at 8.7, Jacob is tomorrow gonna be a great day for you. What is this?

We're watching. Jacob just loves America's Got Talent Recaps. I like to do them on a big fan of the show. I like to go down and play all the funny acts there are. And Jacob just, he'd let us do that for two weeks. He loves it. What a gig. What a gig. A-T.

Just getting a host job on A-G-T. How do you tell me Cruz? I mean, he is what a corn ball. I'm sure he's a lovely guy. See that to his face. Yeah. Was the show off the air? I will. You know, bringing it back.

It was off season to season. Oh, it's just back tonight. Yeah, sure. You thought it was canceled for a while. We weren't talking jugglers and magicians. Land my heart. You know, the fun thing is this year, they said they're really focusing

on the more visual arts. So, so I'll be able to come in here and release me, and Bob, you have a good watch. Yeah, because we know how to describe things. If there's one thing for me that I've become a master of since last week, it's describing things. Jay just put his finger up in the air for the people at home and then put it down. And then I put it down. It's describing things. And now it's down. Bobby Shoes here on the screen are extremely

gay. He's right. There's rhinestones. They only cover half your foot. They say words on the back of the heels. If you go to print, it's print custom shoes on display now. You can go look at his gay shoes. Paisley Park dot com. I tell you what right now, I'd get those yellow ones in rock them. Man, that's outrageous. We're looking at one of those.

He has high heels and it's a legit high heel, but I had a pier. I can't make for, now my high heel wasn't that high. It's not a high heel then. But mine was high enough. Pumps. It was yeah, it was a little wider than that. what you're talking about Bobby and that's still a guy shoe My stepfather would rock those once in a while. It's a corn ball look. It's definitely but it was a time a look of a time

Cavareaches Cavareaches with the pleats depleted pants the stupid Fucking half cowboy shoes my Amy vice, which I can't wait for, I wish that style would come back. Oh my god, do I love... A Don Johnson? I love Don Johnson is one of the coolest motherfuckers ever to grace television. Actually, no, he's not. Sonny Crockett is one of the coolest people to ever experience. That's, of course.

But Don Johnson, yeah, Sonny Crockck it but don Johnson's look his face His hair he did the move he did the move everyone does though. He made a fucking shit bag of a song Lookin' for a hobby Looking right now. No longer took me to forget that song. Why do they always make a pop song? I mean, I know why Because also it's the pop song gets played on radio or you have to be in dog star with Keanu Reeves or whatever. No one gives a shit. No one can name a song. What was the other one like tortured grunt? Was like a ruffle crow's band or something? Is this it?

Christine put the video. Not bad. It's terrible. I mean, that's not bad so far. I worked at the gap when this show, Miami Vice was huge, just a tables of paisley. Oh yeah.

Paisley. Well, that was the shirts, right? No. What's the chorus? I'm not picking. Pastels. What's the course is it I Wish you could see the video be great. We'll figure it out as a group eventually. I love these wearing he's wearing He's wearing a Kumite belt

He's wearing a He's that's Japanese that whole outfits like Japanese show the pat That's when shoulder pads were in he's wearing literally a He's all dirty now He's wearing a black silk shirt with shoulder pads. It was the worst his hair ever looked It's the it's when he went and he cut his hair. It's terrible. Yeah, I didn't like this He needed a flop. He did the pieces coming down his face a little bit He looks like any of the Cobra Kai's in this video.

But this video... Not one of the guys they had speaking parts, just one of the other ones. Is that the Weasel's app on his video? Yeah, it is. Weasel's app is playing his stupid green apple guitar. What is the what's the meaning of this video though? What is he what is the story? I think it's from a shitty movie he did. I don't think so, J. I think he's just looking for a heartbeat.

He's looking for a heartbeat. Oh, he's singing it with such passion, though. He's going to vest over the shirt. Well, maybe that's a time. It's a time where that warped. I don't think so. I think it's just... No, I'm talking. This one is... He didn't just make a video of this. I probably did did Jay he just threw it's just a video his video is cutting back from a nightclub guitar concert to an action movie where he's dirty and he was just carrying a little Guatemalan kid and he over through the field and then

through the kid you see him throw him go to the Johnson's IMDb it's a war photographer you see him throw the kid look at him through the kid you see him throw him I am DB the war photographer you see him throw the kid look him throw the kid play that again Watch this kid get fight just talks this fucking kid. Yeah, he throws him over the bin He throws him over a wall into some shit doesn't even care about him Sarah you know get out of here Get out of here. That's not even. Let's save them from that truck explosion that I don't believe they did just for a music video. I'm betting it was exactly that he's on the streets. Don't forget this is the height of Miami Vice.

He can do whatever he wants. Can you go actor Don Johnson and his band perform the song Heartbeat as a short clips from his movie Heartbeat? Oh, so there was a movie? There's no movie long for movie heartbeat. Absolutely. That's gotta be the movie that they play because they're cutting in and out of the chup and arson for a minute.

Yeah, well, he did make a dead bang was a good movie. Oh, my, my dad, he made an hour long movie feature about his video heartbeat. Oh, I know I'm right, Jay. I know Don Johnson. Hey, how long did you get that clip? Keep going. Yeah, there. I know I'm right, Jay. Hang on. I know Don Johnson. Hang on. Did you get that clip? Keep going. I've never heard anybody say that in my life.

When he was younger, you gotta go. Yeah, I went a long video. That's what I thought was a movie. Hang on, we gotta get back. We gotta get back to the 80s. Oh yeah, they're dead. Right now we're going through all of these all Don Johnson's movies. Heartbeat. Dead Bang was a great movie. Dead bang. Right now we're going through all of these all done Johnson's movies heartbeat dead bang

was a great movie. Dead bang was a great movie. He was a piece of shit cop and he got and then he was where another some what was it? The KKK. He went up against the KKK where actually one of them was like a serial killer. It was just killing people. Dead bang. Deg bang is a good.

I like it. It's a good. Harley Davidson and the Marbara man. I never saw the hotspot was the best because he banged Virginia Madsen and Jennifer Connelly in a movie. Pretty good. That's not also I didn't realize the babs Jewish Madonna, barbershtarized and Don Johnson did a song together.

Can we please god here and away where's your heartbeat movie uh... where's your heart beat movie right there in his i-m-dv it's a video that's a movie it's a video technically anything over an hour is a movie it's an hour five minutes of music video i don't think so buddy yeah it's the making of the city that's a little concept behind it

yeah the concept he's not a squad of all in case it's a river it's so the making of the shit. That's all concept behind it. It's the concept. He's like Guadamall and kids in the river. It's so small because the river. What is it? What is the concept say right there? Chris, can you read that? The war for the...

So realistic journey into the experiences and reflections of a documentary filmmaker as he evaluates the people and places that have made up his life. He's looking for a heartbeat. That's a movie. It's what you did for your, it's shooting a documentary about an audio contest, about a stand-up special. That's what he did. He's genius. He's

saying he's genius. He did a documentary of the making of an audio album. That's what he did. Yeah, it's genius. That's a movie. I made a movie. So did he. did he we both movies, okay look at that hair though You know him and Barbara strives and bang well together. He definitely fucked her yeah Babbs is hot back in the day you know it's convinced me buddy She wanted him. Yeah, he wanted James Rowan. She wanted Don Johnson You know it's convinced me the memories video the video of her singing memories I don't know why I find her so softly wonderfully enchanting in that video. She's enchanted. That's the way that Jacob felt that about me today.

Oh a luring. You could see who's enchanted by me. He definitely was. We walked the edge today. We walked the edge of gay and it won't be the last. Maybe next time you guys walk you where high heel boots together So you love him so much. That's not a good picture of young bad You don't think so there isn't one. I don't mind those Jacob shut up. She loves it. Say that She looks a little autistic there. He might be right All right, I never liked the super dramatic look But go to the memories video Christine this song sucks. Did we? I love her. I love her nose. I love her. I like a nice big nose. I love I love our nose. I love a I like a nice big nose

I don't mind that beak. I love a big nose girl I'm on a nice beaker the girl I want to jail for the first time had a big nose and worth it Mm-hmm here we go. Yeah, she is here you get to see her. She's got the snow hat on The memories video gets me Jesus Jesus, F and Christ. How many times have my phone ring before? We're watching the video, oh it's old school. Black and white, is it black and white video? Old school time square, because Pepsi Cola was big.

Yeah, this guy's showing New York. That's when Pepsi had the signs that a Coke. Is a Coke now? Yeah, nobody, what was the last time you asked for for Pepsi? When they tell me it's all they have. They go Pepsi, is that okay? And I go, yes. That should be their slogan when you don't have Coke. Pepsi will do.

Pepsi will do. Yeah, something about it right here, am I right? Yeah, no. You don't mean that, Jacob. You lover DJ Ludol, Jacob. You love her. Do you say it, Lidol, yeah? Um, no. Because you're anti-Semitic? Okay, next, Black Lill, your thoughts on Babs.

Um, I can't see her at the moment, but I know what she looks like. Did you get it? Did you blow to the front? Yeah, don't judge her by her. Meet the parents and meet the fuckers. She was too big at that point. She was a larger older lady. I gotta be honest, she does not look that hot

in this video. Using this time she looks better than this? Well, let me get the close up. Oh, how about nuts? When she was in nuts, I thought she was hot. I mean, she's got a beautiful... I mean, she's looking at me for confirmation right now. You don't think she was hot and nuts?

She's just like the Taliban in this video. She's not, she's dressed like a Jewish girl in the winter. She has a wrap around her head like rolls. To hat. A scarf that's not a hat. That's a Taliban turban. It's a Jew hat. That's not a Jew hat.

This isn't a Jew hat. Let me ask my friend Irish Catholic Bobby about Jew hats. Sorry. OK. I guess you're the Jew hat. Let me ask my friend Irish Catholic Bobby about Jew hats. Okay, I guess you're the Jew hat official. I apologize. You are the Jew hat expert, but that is not a Jew hat. It's Jew hat. There's a pair of pants wrapped around her head. It's terrible.

She got beautiful lips. And the new day, the grand pinkie. She's, hmm, hmm, hmm. Who listened to her that you love her so much? Was that your grandparents? I think it goes back to the old testament. I think the, this is what used to hear, this is what calmed the pharaohs to to the Old Testament. I think the...

This is what you used to hear. This is what calmed the pharaohs to let the Jews free. This is what you heard your mom's bedroom over the night. Every... The flashlight in the window. It's the door being smashed out. A police officer comes over. My mother's already being railed by my stepfather.

Another guy's breaking the door. Maveries. Horbeck, why's my mom such a horbeck? Such a war back memories of being put in my room while she went knees behind the years for some dude. If you touch her, she'll let you move right into our house. Oh, Just doing the old babs hammer man. You got into it Cats everybody that's why you like this this song. That's why it means something to you My mom used to go knees by the years war. It's just playing in the background Go to go to see from her nuts

That's where she was hot. That's where she was her hottest actually. I like her, but she's just physically something's wrong. What are you talking about? What was the old book? You're more of a what was Hitler's wife? Ava Brown. You're more of an even brown guy. No, I want like I like her. I like her music, but I just don't attract. But you can't get into a Jew like that. Yeah. You won't, you, you, you don't even want to let you. Look, if she got a nose job, she's still going to look bad. Wow. Wow.

That's crazy. Holy shit. I mean, I was on your side. Maybe if you got a dick job, you'd look better, Lou. Holy God. God. Just out of the blue, you're such a, all Jews have big noses. What did you just say?

Just this particular, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Look, I do acknowledge she looks a little bit like Ron What did you just say? This particular, yeah. Yeah. Look, I do acknowledge she looks a little bit like Ron Perlman as the beast in feuding the beast. I know that, but something about her. I know. I love a big nose. Let me see a little, you got a little nose.

Not my nose, isn't it? Let me say turn to the side. Now you got a cute little nose. She's got a big schnauz. Nobody on the show's got a honker. I like an Italian schnauz, a Jewish schnauz, a Lebanese and schnauz. Well, it gets middle east soon.

They got that butt thing in the front though. I do check out on that a little bit. What do you mean the nose ass? The nose ass. You don't like the nose ass? Because as it gets older, it becomes more of an ass. It really gets to be a pronounced thing

We could like put a quarter in it probably. Yeah, yeah, I know you talk about I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I like the nose ass. The look fall off though The ones have hurt Melanie Griffith. Oh, she fell off. They just figured out how to make her hot Like hot hot and then she was gone that quick. Milk money. Have you seen her lately? I mess. It's.

No, but I'm saying, but milk money came out, like a little late in her career technically. She was around for a while. Who's this? Melanie Griffith. Yeah, yeah. It's not money the right movie I'm thinking of. Like she got like hot for that,

and then it went right down. She was, she was topless in that wasn't she? What was the one she was topless in? She, she did topless. She was vacuuming topless. That's when she was like, oh my god, she's smoking hot. Was it working girl? Yeah, it was working girl. That was working girl. Yeah. Yeah, working girl topless Melanie Griffith.

I mean, she, she wasn't top- She was in that movie. 100%. There's the milk money one she got like type type in hot topless Melanie Griffith working girl Sit up in front of the class and they drew her ovaries on her body She was topless in milk money Working girl. Yeah See right there vacuuming look at vacuuming. She's vacuuming naked. Yeah, I tell you something something I don't like This is a weird insult. I'm gonna see right now and I feel terrible. Thank you, Lou. Why do DJ live?

I'm I don't know if that's an apology, but I think it is It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll tell you this She's pretty. I don't I'd something about her area was I'm not loving where are they? I don't, I, something about her, Aria was, I'm not loving. Where are they? I don't know why. What do you mean, where are they? I can't see them. We're looking at Mel and her.

Well, because there's no colored difference between her boob, it's very slight. I don't know, I don't like it. I don't like it. Get away. Get it away. I hate it. Jay, look at it.

Look at it. Deal with it. I don't want it. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. You don't like it. Why? Because it reminds you of your mom. That's what you used to see when you look down the hallway. My mom did have some huge nips. Melanie Griffith was smoking hot for like two movies.

Two movies. And then you fell off a cliff. And now she has that crazy face like her and I Fig the other one did that too. She just figured out how to be hot. What's the other? Meg Ryan Meg Ryan she just figured out how to get hot and then they then they're 50 You know what's it's about Meg. She was adorable Not even the hot. She was adorable. She was like, that's your girlfriend, your wife.

Lori Petty, they were like, Hey Lori Petty, you don't have to be a dike in every movie and then she became hot and then she became fiffy. It's an overnight. What's the other one? Oh God. Look at her, look at her in top gun so cute. What happened?

Why is her face melting down? Oh dude, they get old man. Who did that too? What's the other girl with the squinty eyes? You got her eyes fixed? Oh What's her face? We're looking at me. Oh, I know exactly. Renee's L. We're in a Zellweger was cutie patootie forever And then she got her eyes fixed. Renee's L. Wigger. Thank you. Hey Thank you, Jacob. Thank you, Jacob. Thank you, Evil Jacob. Actually, yeah, she looks weird now. Well, she just doesn't look at different person. She looks different now.

That's like Jennifer Gray. It completely changed her face when she got the nose job. Is that her? Is that in that little picture there? No, no, no. I think she had other work to do. Does that do? No,. No, that's not me. Oh, she's playing that lady. She's playing that lady in a movie is what it is. No. Yes. Yeah, it's a weird thing that she Meg Ryan fell off. It's like it goes quick. Well, Meg Ryan started carving up her face young and it made her look really weird.

So cute. To. She was so cute. The doors movie? Adorable. The doors movie. Harry met Sally. How cute. Is she an ass? Yeah.

She always had that little tiny neck thing which had a problem with. She was cute. But I liked it. She was Mrs. Goose. She was bad. She was in Top Gun. I mean, the top. Top Gun, she was probably her best.

Right there. Oh, short hair to the left. She had the short. Oh my god She's so cute. I would say the doors the door. She was the less you think she was so cute And then it looks like someone took the corner of her mouth and tied them to her ears Yeah, she takes them took her while to figure it out because when she was young young You know, I mean like it didn't strike me as much. She was kind of like plain Jane I think and then she figured it out and then they're 50. That's what happens Yeah, but once you get surgery to once you have the money to get the surgery

You get like I was telling you about that guy who did the boob jobs They got addicted to getting tits and bigger tits and bigger tits and they like I'm stopping at the teeth and then right Afterwards my chin, but then I'm done what Unless then it's offsets my ears, then I forgot to get those pinback, but what if the ears that I'm totally done What about also a dick lift? Oh, and also a dick lift Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer.

That's right. And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo! I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink.