The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Moments of Sexy

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

During threesomes with Jay, Christine has moments of sexy followed by fits of anger!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big Jay Oakerson. We're actually a full radio show on Sirius XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Sirius XM app. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly. Come on baby, come Come on, darling. Yeah. I'd rather see the cure twice. I'd rather go to a double-headed cure.

No way, that's true. See me and Jacob's sex dance? That's not true, darling. I hate Madonna. What? But now you can watch her hold on to a railing when she dances. I don't. She's flying around the stadium, Jacob, when she's not true. I fucking, I hate Madonna. What? But now you can watch her hold on to a railing when she dances. I don't. She's flying around the stadium, Jacob.

She's doing that. Flying around the stadium. Let's come down on her. I hope she takes a heart. Me too. I hope she really, I hope it just snaps. Me too. I'll take a major Madonna tragedy tonight.

I'll take that. I'm not a fan. Come on. At any level. I got into a big fight coming back from Buffalo. To Madonna? With Erin... What the fuck is her name? Erin...

Remember that comic? Yes. Come on. Lesbian. Erin... Erin Foley. Erin Foley. Erin Foley. Very funny. Very funny. Really cool. Loved her. I don't know where she's been. Probably writing somewhere. I think L.A. writing, yeah. About Madonna versus Britney.

And I picked Britney. You're wrong, though. That's crazy. I think Britney is who she is, and she's a lunatic. But I think Madonna just... Well, catalog of music alone. Britney Spears has like three albums. I just don't like her fucking...

She assimilates to shit. Oh, no, look. By the way, she looks like a fat grandma dancing in this thing. Whatever you're showing me, Christine, is not selling it. Man, look at her fucking fupa. She looks like a homemade disco ball. See, she's

flying around the stadium. Yeah, that's why she's holding a bar. So I don't have a problem with this. What I do have a problem with is I bet she sings a shitty song when she does this. She can't sing either. She's not even singing. No, she can't sing. This is all the ones you want to hear. No, she's not singing too many songs. Buddy, I can read

you the set list and that's the bummer. The set list for me has been the bummer so far. Four decades? Four decades? That whole promo video was like she's doing every song you want to hear. Nope. Well, she's doing every song you want to hear if you listen to every album up until including the newest one. So Christine's going to have fun. Barely.

She can't even bend down. No, no, we're all going to have fun. Her knees are all fucking shot. Yeah. I'm really bummed at the song she's not singing, but I know all but three or four songs on the set list. But that's crazy. Nobody who's going to this should not know three or four songs. She's 65 and she's still grabbing her crotch she's 66. well she has to put it back

in she has vaginal mesh okay that makes sense her is falling out that's not her fault completely i i'm just not a fan what songs are isn't she singing is it the same set list is it set let me get yeah it doesn't change it looks set. She's not changing anything. What seats you got? Good seats? She's showing up late. We got good seats. Who are you going with? It's me, Christine, Isabella, and her best friend. Are you in the tampon pit? We are.

We're on the floor. Yeah? We're in the tampon pit. You're in the tampon pit? We're on the floor. We're in front of the second stage in the audience. In front of the bunch of gay guys and right in back of the bunch of gay guys. Yep.

I'm excited. It's going to be great as a visual. It's going to be a spectacle for sure and a lot of funny stuff. But the song she's leaving, it's blowing my mind. So you want someone she's not playing, Jacob? I can tell you the one she's playing.

Like a Virgin? Like a Virgin is going to be played over recording only between one of the sets. What does that mean? Just on the loud... Like the actual song will be playing through the speakers. Not doing Borderline. Not doing Cherish.

Not doing... What are we... Poppin' on Preach. Poppin' on Preach is not on there. Express Yourself? Express Yourself Acoustic. What? What?

This sounds like it blows. What about Vogue? Vogue is in there. Wait, maybe Vogue isn't in there. No, it's got to be in there. It seems like you've mentioned every single one of her hits. Like, what's left? She said she's not doing Ray of Light,

and I was like, I could have sworn Ray of Light was on there. How's that go? And I feel, and I just get them And I feel Are you ready? Here's the list. I'll read it to you. Hey, my mom's calling real quick. Well, she has the set list.

Hang on. Mrs. Kelly's calling, if you could please. Should I answer it? Of course. Okay, hang on. I know she's on the bonfire. I know one song

Christine has on the list so far. Yeah, I'm going to read it out. Let me read it out, Christine. Hang on. Bobby's got to deal with his mom first. Sorry. It's okay. I've got to answer it out. Let me read it out, Christine. Hang on. Bobby's got to deal with his mom first. It's okay.

I got to answer that. Hello? Hi, Bobby. Hi. You're on the bonfire live. How are you doing? What? What are you, deaf?

I said you're on the bonfire. You're on the live show. It's radio. It is? Yeah. What do you want me to tell them about you? Oh, I like that. Hold on. No, nothing.

What are you... You have nothing to say about me. I've done nothing. No, you've done something. You've done something, Bobby. You've done something. And your mother knows. He did something.

Do you have an arsenal? He did something. An arsenal. Yeah, you're from Boston, too. Don't give me a hot time. He did some. Yeah, you're from Boston too. Don't give me a hot tie.

Oh, your mom rules. We got to get our moms together. Philly and Boston moms. All right. Are you okay? Is everything all right? I'm fine. I need to know.

Everybody's asking me when the tickets go on sale for your show in Boston. They're trying to buy them. How many free tickets do you need in Boston, they're trying to buy them. How many free tickets do you need? She's a dude. She's trying to buy them, dude. It's not that. Alex's brother's wife hates life and some other people. And they said, we're trying to get tickets. They're on sale right now.

I told you we're live on the radio. They're on sale right now. They're on my Robert Kelly live.com I'll be at laugh Boston nice plug mom good plug I love you too what do you mom when she caught you masturbating mom mom Jacob wants to know what do you want to know jacob did you when when did did you catch bobby masturbating when he was a kid i did oh wow can you bring us walk us through that whole scene no no no i love you mom we're gonna go my son from the moment of his birth has been so well endowed he's not really a kelly he's a donlin that is the grossest shit i've ever heard you say that is the my mom would never do that for me my mom lands in a store what you still want

to hang up on her after that yeah keep going about what are you talking about so endowed you paid me to call and say that i'm not was. Was he two-handed masturbating then? No. I was fully naked in the middle of the bed with no sheets on it. Oh, Jesus. Do you remember that, Mom? I do. What's that?

Cash. What? I'm getting cash. Oh, I'm sorry. All right, listen. I got to let you go I love you I love you too

alright say goodbye to everybody goodbye everybody have a good show bye bye bye bye

bye that was fantastic she's so Boston yeah that was great I have a fucking arsenal of jerk off stories for you you were very well

in depth what a great thing for your mother to say. My mother laughs publicly at the story of seeing my penis when I was younger and then taking me to a doctor, telling me it was for a checkup, but it was because she was concerned my penis was too small for my age. That's what my mom tells me. What age? Was it like 18?

No, probably like 10. I think I was 10. You were 10 and she thought your dick was too small yep and then she also asked my stepfather for a second opinion they both spied and looked at my wiener and was like it may be a medical problem and they brought me to a fucking doctor who said i don't have a medical problem he just has like not a big dick and they were like blown away by that they're like oh okay i guess that'll life. Well, don't they have to see it hard? You can't just judge a dick from a small dick.

Well, they did. Oh, okay, gotcha. They judge it. And by the way, I'm just sitting there probably whistling a tune or listening to some music or something, and they're just sitting there terrifyingly staring at my little dinger. I didn't think anything of it. When I found that out, I have been dick insecure my entire life since my mom laughed at that story

when I was 21 years old in front of my friends. Christine, you like it, right? I love his dick. She doesn't even remember it. Do you think he has a small wiener? No, he doesn't have a small wiener. Look at me and say it. He doesn't have a small wiener.

Why are you singing it? I'll tell you what. Bobby? Bobby? I'll tell you what. I like very cool for i believed her oh my god you just fucking sang better than madonna you don't know he doesn't have a smile i've been with small wieners and jay does not have a small does he have a big wiener he has a great wiener oh there you go big um hey christina he has a big wiener. Oh, there you go. Name big. Hey, Christina, he has a big dick, right? Huge dick.

Bigger than most? Extra large. Nine incher. Why are these blinks so loud? These links are really loud. Jay. Ting! Ting!

Christine, by the way, I believed Christine when she was like, Jay's got a really great dick. And you go, does he? And was like, Jay's got a really great dick. And you go, does he? And she went, he's got a really great dick. Does he? I didn't believe her either by the second time. You asked her to qualify.

You qualified at one time, and she scurried. She would have broke Lou's glasses if you asked her one more time. Ah, shit, that's hilarious. hilarious yeah what are you gonna do dude i don't know have my mom call and take back her little wiener jokes mama you hurt me you hurt your boy if we called your mom right now do you would she say you have a little dink back in the day uh i don't know if she'll say that but she will tell you that they took me to the doctor concerned about my penis. That's weird. Concerned.

Concerned. Do you know how fucking concerned you have to be to take your kid to the doctor? Back then, too. They didn't take kids to the doctors when they broke their arm back then. Never mind if they think you have a small dick. That must have been like a... Call?

Get my mom to call on the line if she can. It says a lot. It's like she had never seen, she's always known big penises. Well, she was with my father, and she was probably concerned very much that I would have a small wiener like my father, and then realized that it was coming to reality.

Why, your dad had a small pee-pee? He didn't have a big one. You've seen it? Yeah. How'd you see it? Well, someone doesn't watch my specials. I'm sorry. Yeah, all right.

Sorry. No, I saw my step pops when I was younger. Big old, big old wiener. And then I saw my dad's when I was younger, and it was like, look, it was soft. It was... I hope so. I hope it wasn't solid hard staring at wasn't solid listen i'll give him everything i

i jarringly woke him up to tell him that somebody was trying to break into the house i was terrified but here's why i said here's how small a soft wiener was to me as a kid was that the cop trying to bang your mom it was trying to break in a different different house this is my dad's house my stepmom, my stepmom at the time, Kathy. And it was a big night. Saw my father's wiener upsetting. Guy trying to break into the house,

terrified the shit out of me. Oh my God. But in busting into my dad's bedroom, I said, saw his small wiener and also saw my 40 year old stepmother. Nice, naked.

That was nice. And disappointed. And then, yeah. She was was nice and disappointed and then yeah she was very naked and disappointed with your dad naked is for my dad's little dinger the origins of your how you became a size King mm-hmm it's like you to clear path oh yeah yeah like he's an evil scientist and he's figured out a way to just yeah I will turn off pornography that doesn't have at least a big dick. You like a big dick. It's got to be a biggie.

Did you get that? Yeah. I love big dicks. You can take me, take whatever you want. I like big black dicks. In me as far as possible. Do you want me to say it with different reflections?

In me as far as possible. In me as far as possible. One more. In me as far as possible. You me as far as possible. One more. In me as far as possible. You got them all? Okay. Good. I love a perfect dick.

That's a wrap on Jay. Good job, Jay, everyone. Good, Jay. I don't like big dicks. I don't like seeing big dicks. Really? I like a perfect dick. I like seeing big dicks on anything.

Again, Reddit is my porn that i go to for holy shit not jerking off stuff right big dick shemale on reddit is it i'm captivated by the whole thing yeah we talked about that monster cocks yeah monsters um i don't love a big dick but i've also i've gone and again when i click it i'm, what is the reason I'm clicking this for? And it is just to see. There's been some Reddit threads I've gone on that just says, like, my husband's enormous cock. And I'm like, I got to see this thing. And I will be like, that's an enormous cock.

Yeah, just fantastic. Oh, I hate cocks. Yeah, but you like boobs and pretty girl faces. Come on, you don't like a wiggling snake? No. I mean, look, come on. That's a woman's body everywhere else. Except that big old honker.

It's so weird, though. I mean, they do have, wow. Can you put that one back up? Well, that's mature content, this one, I guess. These women do have hips, and I know some of them get stuff put in, but I think that one didn't. I think that's just

natural whoa jesus christ what's that israeli army girl that's not real that's not real that's fake it's real and by the way i would kill you don't respect that penis you would kill for well well hang on no jacob you're wrong there because that's not a fully erect penis. And if my soft was swinging like that, no problems in the world whatsoever. If my soft was hanging like that. Oh, if my soft hung like that. And I do the same thing like that girl's doing. I finger my own asshole hoping it gets bigger.

See, that girl has hips. That's crazy to me. She has hips like a girl. They have surgery now. They shave the hips down to get that curve. How do you know so much? I read about it. has hips that's crazy to me she has hips they have like a girl now that they shave this they're the hips down how do you know so much i read about it put that can you put that one back up with the the the the trans people that look more feminine has like hip shaving i didn't know that yeah great great good for them hey whatever gets you there you know what i mean whatever makes me feel less

bad about what i've done to you there's a new there's a new uh speaking that there's a new uh speaking of awesome cocks there's a new uh nicky and jimmy out too yeah a new episode new episodes out today yeah what is it did you watch it already uh and i just saw the teaser um and you just edged a little bit a little edge a little bit a little rim do a little rimming. Those two are the best. And they were supposed to go to do Whitney's Thronger Party. Mm-hmm. Cummings? Whitney Cummings Thronger Party for the roast of Whitney Cummings. Okay.

And Nikki was very excited about going. She's like, we're going. We're going back out to see Whitney. And Jim was like, I can't. We're not going. She's like, why? He's like, I have to do Gutfelt. Which is a half hour show at like five o'clock.

And you don't even get money. They just give you a limo to the fucking place. Not even one. I did Gutfeld. I came from here. It's across the street. So I didn't get a limo. I love Gutfeld.

But it's funny that he's just canceled this whole trip. And you saw her fucking hopes. And the outfit she's wearing, she's literally going to go out in a mesh outfit. It's all mesh. She goes, you look like a hooker. Does she have a swinger on her? Huh? Does she?

Yes. Nikki Norton. Yes. You're close with Jim. I assume you would say she has a big dick. I would imagine so. Yeah? I would imagine so.

I mean, if Jim's going to- Tall and thin. If Jim's going to... I would think that if Jim was going to marry somebody of the trans persuasion, I would say, why would you go with somebody with a small one?

I would say yes. And she's Norwegian, which, you know... I can't say I find myself sexually attracted in any way to any trans person I've ever seen. Like where I'd be like, you know, besides making the joke, like maybe I would. Like I've never been attracted. But I do know if I was going to go for it, I'd want to be with a monster cock one. Yeah.

I'm a size king. You are a size king. Yeah. That wouldn't make you intimidated when she took out her penis and then you took out yours and she went wah, wah. I'm already getting ready to blow a dude girl. It doesn't make, at this point, I figure I'm past that. Right.

You know what I mean? At this point, let me just like, you know, I want to be, so my girlfriend and I can go at parties and be like, yo, you want to see a big dick, honey, pull that out real quick. Like I would, as long, by the way, as long as a huge cock is representing me at some quick like i would as long by be honest as long as a huge cock is representing me at some point in my life i'll be okay i go sure i don't have a lot of dick but i mean look i mean the house this is a household of cock you do see this is an okerson household dick yeah i told christine the only reason now i would ever marry her so I can call her mean Steen Ocreson Means let me tell you something mean Steen

Let's watch the video could we watch the teaser? Yeah, it's out there. Yeah, let's not play the whole thing cuz that's nuts No, I driving traffic away. Let's not It's the one on his yeah, there it is right there. I prefer the penis with a trans woman. He does. Of course we know, Joe. You're so old. You're 26. I'm Nikki. I'm 26 years old.

Wait, pause it again. I will say this what Joe's saying right there. When he's going trans, you want the penis. I agree with that too. If I was going to do it, let's just do whatever we can do

with the penis, a real penis versus a man-made vagina i think is how i would play that yeah you don't want a wallet i just feel like yeah i think i would be more skeeved out by fucking a fake pussy than honking on a dick yeah you'd rather you'd rather put a dick in your mouth And lick something That tastes like a foot I'd rather have a dick in my mouth Than lick a man-made pussy

I think It's a wound forever I'm gonna throw up It's a forever wound That you have to Make sure it doesn't get infected Yeah you have to put stuff in it To like keep it open right

Like shoes You know they put those things In the brand new shoe Yeah they keep like a stent A shoe horn You have to put Yeah you have to put the new shoe you have to put the thing keeps it shaped you have to roll up a newspaper and keep it in your vagina just so it doesn't close up i think for a long time you have to walk around your whole days with something in there to keep make sure the wound heals around it it's uh christine is a girl would you rather be with like a girl who dresses as a guy

but still has a pussy like a buck angel type or would you rather be with a girl who's had a penis fashioned out of her insides hmm hmm

but you're in the chicks it's a hard thing yeah it's a hard thing the reality is like that's weird looking I think the reality is like I'd always rather be with the real thing.

I wish my mom was still on the phone. That'd be an interesting question to ask a woman from the 50s. Yeah. Men are men and women are women, you cocksucker. I'll take a chick with a dick. It's one of the best lines in Ted 2

when he was looking at all the chicks with dicks. And he goes, there are no chicks with dicks. There's only dudes with tits I would definitely I think I definitely would rather be with a trans woman

than a trans man with like natural junk but you want like like a woman that has a penis versus a man that has a vagina yeah

like the girls the girls that Reddit thread we were looking at yeah how excited would you then like Buck Angel you guys would be able

to go to like dinners together have wine Jay's on the road and then you'd be able to get some dick. You can get some fucking big, huge dick finally for once in your life. Instead of a regular Ocason dick. Yeah, instead of my own penis

that my mother's ashamed of. Not ashamed of, just worried about. Yeah. Concerned. Yeah, and your dad. They were both, and it's like not even like one parent was like, leave him alone, it's fine.

They were both like, yeah, we gotta deal with this. They were like, this is in fact, not even like one parent was like, leave him alone, it's fine. They were both like, yeah, we gotta deal with this. They were like, this is in fact, when I would tell a joke, that's the hardest thing. It means when he came over and took a second look,

he said, in some capacity, like, he goes, yeah, we wouldn't hurt to have a doctor take a look. There's always one parent

that's like, just stop it. They're fine. Yes. There's always one. Neither of them did that. In this case, no.

When you're both like, we gotta take care of this. It's an emergency. I'm sure you see my When you're both like, we got to take care of this. It's an emergency. I'm sure you're going to see my mom's face going like, is there anything we can do? Doctor's like, no, he's just going to be like, you know, an average or small penis guy maybe. And they're like, please, please let's change that.

I'll tell you one of the worst things but I'm really really we're entering a new era of my life right now it's winter tights time what? I got tights

for basketball to wear into the basketball shorts oh okay for like a compression now you're getting from a Donna concert you sissy no compression

I was talking to you about this Black Lou for compression and now like if you're just wearing jeans, and it's freezing out like it's been in Denver and shit, it really feels great. You've got to put them on.

You've got to really pull them up like you're doing fucking, see a chick doing pantyhose or something. You have to pull them up at the knee. And you really have to tuck it next to your balls on each side. You have to really keep pulling up until it's tucked in there because they're your underwear at this point. I have them. I have them when I go bushcrafting.

Oh, yeah? I go camping. I always wear compression. Well, not compression, but tights. It is. And I have ones that are tighter than the others. The ones I was wearing to bed last night were tighter. An hour in, I took them off

and just put on basketball shorts because it mushes my dick. Do you ever see those pictures like the game? And who else did that? There's a couple people who have taken pictures in tights. Do you remember that, Lou? They take a picture in like exactly workout tights and you see their, it's perfect because their dick like rides down their leg. My dick is, it just pushes it backwards into my body and if i focus

on that at all it's so uncomfortable did you walk out have you seen him in these tights christine yeah i do karate kicks in the house for you he practices karate and and when you can you see his junk or does it just go up like it's a she's he's a gymnast she's not looking for chunk i know that but i'll tell you what, even if she was looking for it, it ain't there. I don't think it would look good if I got a boner and held it down with it. It's just tights are,

if you're going to wear tights, you have to have five inches of soft hang. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only way that'll work. There's no movement. It's just laying there flaccid and you're working and nothing's tang. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only way that'll work out. There's no movement. It's just laying there flaccid and you're working

and nothing's happening. Wow. What am I supposed to do? Suck your dick for the next hour? What am I supposed to do? Suck your dick for an hour? What am I supposed to do? Suck your dick for an hour?

I'm so casual. God damn it. When a dick's not getting hard, you can see my fucking annoyance. It must be annoying. It really must be like, fuck this. I mean, what the fuck is this guy doing? I'm ugly and I have to go.

You think Christine hasn't sat there with a sandpaper pussy where I had to put so much spit down there that my face started going dry? We all don't get ready all the time right away. Why am I turned on and I'm not wet painkillers i'll tell you what christine's what's funny with christine christine we talked about it on the show before but christine has zero pay from her stories in her life zero patience for a getting hard if it's like

if she has to work it from basic nothing already kind of annoyed and if you're not in 30 seconds like the kind of hard that like you should take a picture of she's like pissed yeah she's a pro

you're sitting there doing your thing and it's not getting hard at all. She doesn't understand. Christine's a pro. She's like a pro wrestler. Yo, take a bump, pussy. Have you ever heard, one of the hottest things

is if you're not getting hard, a woman saying something like, what do you love? What do you want me to do? You know what I mean? Some kind of dirty thing like that. I'm going to grow a dick. Christine's got tone more of like,

what do you need? Oh, God. And it's just like, it's the opposite of going to make a guy get hard ever in your life. I kind of find it hard. Just an annoyed woman. What do you need me to do?

I'm doing everything. I sucked it. I flicked it. Are we going? Sounds like most chicks from Boston. Get it? What the fuck everything. I sucked it. I flicked it. Are we going? Sounds like most chicks from Boston. What the fuck? You want it hot or not? Get it going.

It's like now I'm turned off and I don't want to do it. I'll be right back. I'm going to Duck and Donuts. I'm going to get a medium with sugar. Do you want something? Get that fucking... Get yourself hard. Get that peck of going.

Slap yourself off. I wouldn't mind that. I like that. But it must be annoying though. If I go down on a girl and she's not wet, that just sucks. Especially if I've done that where I smoked weed, too, so I'm dry as hell in the mouth. Pussy's dry. It's a real, like...

People are almost dying from dehydration. You try to spit and you're going... Like nothing's coming out why do i smoke so much weed this is like an earthworm in the sun christine's also uh big on which i can't do it when i'm dry one thing i never think of to do mid-fucking is to drink christine will stop fucking not dismount from fucking, and grab a water bottle and a Okay. What the

fuck was that? She takes a break. Lance Armstrong. Christine takes a water break. Good for her. She knows she's dehydrated. Cock in! Cock still in! She has to have a certain amount of water every day.

Her doctor told her she has to drink two eight ounce bottles. There's nothing attractive about going, hang on, and reaching, fumpfering,

and reaching over and going. She's got a Stanley cup. Okay. Okay, I have water now. Back to hot sex. I smoke weed too and sometimes need water.

God damn it, dude. That is funny as hell. Water. But these tights, I love them except for that that wiener mush. No good.

Let me ask you a question, Christine. So when your vagina goes dry, what is that a, you're just not into it? No, not, sometimes, honestly, I would say that it's been like weed or drugs where that's kind of the thing where it's like it's like a biological thing more than

booze booze could draw you yeah booze yeah it's drag out yeah all right so it's not jay it's not jay so sweet oh no i've never even had i wouldn't even be upset If she wasn't getting Because of Jay It's like We fucked so much That she's just like You know Get me going a little bit Like that's not like

The concern of mine I'm just saying like I would never make someone feel I would never at some point Come up from eating pussy And be like I mean you are dry That's Christina's energy

Of like What is What are you doing I mean I think Is this thing gonna like today or what? You're humiliating me. I've had Triscuits have been wetter than this Cheese and salami

And it's not gonna go, you know, it's annoying cuz you're like, oh you're like this isn't gonna fucking happen No, but you check out what you give you give you can check out. You can't sexy talk a coke game. You give moments of sexy before it's an extreme pivot to frustrated anger. And once you get to frustrated anger, if you even put that cock back in your mouth or hand again, now you're wasting your own time because no one's going to pull through that and i mean this christine respectfully respectfully respectfully i'm done respectfully she's had a lot of dick sure and she's not she doesn't want to deal with limp ones yeah you're trying to defend this. You're defending the indefensible.

I'm just saying, Christine, respectfully, you've had a lot of dicks. And most of these dicks have worked the way they're supposed to work. And you don't want to deal with it. You don't have time anymore in your life. You've got a lot of things going on. You're booking the festival. You've got things happening. Let's go, kid.

Get this going. I don't need... This is all before festivals. I'm saying saying in life, all of her stories of a thing, if there was a little bit of like... Maybe when you were younger, you felt you put in too much work or something,

but these stories are fucking... And then it's like, if he doesn't get hard, I'm done, I guess. Work with it. If you make someone go... These aren't people I care about. I'm like, get out of my life.

Like, we're done. It's over. Go away. You talk to them like that? No. Talk about them like that. No, but you started. Time is money.

Get out. You started the evening. Time is money. He's called it a whore. But you started. Respectfully. Let's work with the argument that you were

going into this hoping to get dick you were hoping to get laid so how fast that goes that's what sounds crazy to me is like

I'm gonna get laid I'm gonna get laid if in like five minutes I guess of like fucking around the guy's not raging hard

you've already checked out of being like in the fucking anymore you're misunderstood it's not not raging hard it's like you can tell you can tell when you're like working towards a goal and there's nothing happening and it's like and if nothing's happening and it's like i'm not gonna you know you're not gonna put on a fucking dog and pony show to make it happen because sometimes that's not me but i think maybe jay's saying let's say you you you you do know it's not gonna happen the guy can't get hard maybe you could break it to them a little nicer like tonight's not the night i think

maybe it's just not happening not what the fuck it's it's more energy of like what the fuck looking at a guy holding his limp noodle in your hands? I just seem annoyed. No, I know. I have to work on my tongue. Get hard. I think... Get hard. You know that I've slept with many men. We do.

Christine drops our life. Get hard. Get hard. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, get hard. Yeah. So you don't hard. Get hard. Yeah. So you don't want to try any little maneuver. You don't have any tricks of the trade to get a guy going.

I'm blowing him. Okay. No, how about that? I'm not going to do a fucking sexy underwear dance after I'm already blowing him. Dude, I've had girls. Bobby. Bobby. Hang on.

You make a valid point, Christine. I want to give that to you. You're ticks in my mouth. Yeah, the thing I pee out of is in your mouth. You're right. Congratulations. But there's something. Jacob gets what I'm saying now and understands.

Bobby, you're defending the indefensible. There's something about, but there's not an in-between I'm sucking your dick to what the fuck. There's not an in-between of like, what do you like? What could I do? Do you know what I mean? There's a sexy kind of like, maybe that changes and gets things going a little more.

You're like, there's a weird thing I don't want to do. It's like, I'm doing the immediate thing. She goes, this isn't working? Well, it's all I got. Get the fuck out of here. With your limp-ass dick here that's it right there that's it she just said it she just said it what she doesn't want to do it she doesn't like doing it she doesn't like putting the thing you pee out of a pee pee in her mouth no no no I didn't say that she loves that I said I'm already doing that and it's like oh is there anything is there

anything you like that can be going what if they say say like, finger my ass or all that. I'm like, that's for love. Like, I don't want to fucking do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's not for strangers. I'm sorry. What? Can you say that one more time? It's just for love. You gave me your ass just for love. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either.

Yeah. Is that true? I've been fingering a lot of assholes out there. Well, Jay's an asshole finger. Explain that to me. Explain that to me. Like, sometimes you don't want to do like weird stuff with guys or just like with for the night you know i've done stuff with jay that i've never done with anybody else but eat mac and cheese while you're fucking yeah we are talking about you and jay so when you if you're not gonna

jay gets hard i don't have a problem with Jay. It's just my thing. I just, we've talked about a zillion things in our lives. You know what I mean? And like, but even when we've hooked up with girls. I've been funny guys that are no problem. Even when we've hooked up with girls. Even when we've hooked up with girls, like Christine just has, it's not just guys. She has a low tolerance for like, are we getting to this already?

Do you know what I mean? But no, Christine, it could also be something as like, okay, like, like, are we getting to this already? Do you know what I mean? But no, Christina could also be something is like, okay, truth be told, like when I get my dick sucked and maybe it's a guy likes his nipples, something or his balls sucked or something. These are things I think you would do.

It's just, you're not even asking that question. If it's, if he doesn't like your instinctual technique, it sounds like you're like, well, that's what I got. Fuck off.

You know what I mean? With your limp dick asshole and like you just seem there's no carryover there's no trying a little bit you're like i just don't like working that hard for it there it is you don't there it is you're only working but that seems weird that means you're not good at sex if you're not working for it a little bit so finger in the butt is love you Love. You have to love somebody. So all the guys you finger bummed, you finger fucked. Only Jay. You've only done it to Jay. Only. What's up?

What's up? Hiya. What's up? That's it. That's love. Now that explains Madonna. Yeah. Just, I want you to understand, Christine, because Christine, and I mean this, Bobby,

as do I, our household is a household that loves Robert Kelly, his family, and everything about you. And Christine trusts you endlessly. She's called you in times of need before. She's asked you for help or to just talk about things. And she doesn't realize that Bobby is a legendary broadcaster, one of the first guys who did broadcasting in New York, jumped on the game, and he knows what he's doing. He comes in the air and plays as, I'm the first guys who did broadcasting in New York, jumped in the game, and he knows what he's doing.

He comes in the air and plays as, I'm the new guy, I'm whatever, but he gets Christine more than anybody else, and Christine is such a fool for it that she is so excited when Bobby turned, he cocks to her a little bit, and then just looks at her and asks her insane questions,

because he knows she just starts instinctually answering. And he is, him and Lou are having an unspoken like side eye thing where he's like, you're getting all this, Lou. And he's looking around the room and everybody else being like, guys, don't talk. Let her say this clean. And he just goes, so, Christine, from five minutes ago, you fingers in the answer for love? And then just sits back, Dr. Phil in it. And Christine just diary of the mouth and it all out. Just for Jay. I'll finger Jay's

ass and that's it. I'll finger Jay's ass and that's it. I'm fingering a bunch of men's assholes. You don't have to. Gross. You don't have to finger a bunch of men's assholes. That's okay. If you're going to have sex with Christine, you have to have that final of the World Cup

energy. Look, you punched a locker before you go out onto the field. Oh, that a dip. You better come with your game. I think Christine sounds like she'd be happy if you go in the bathroom first and work up a full boner and just come out with a rager ready to go. I would be happy if you have a full boner for making out with me. That's what I'd be happy about. Now, call me crazy. If I'm with one of these big dick trans, I think I would appreciate the effort of making them hard under my power.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you want to see them get hard from what you do. You don't just get hard. You want to make them hard. Yeah, I would love to make them hard before my mouth's on their dick. But, you know, when you're starting from zero. I think the fun is having the soggy one in your mouth and then feeling it become hard am I crazy girls For a girl to be wet by the time you touch her pussy, but that is different

Can I say something can I say? That only happens at the beginning of the relationship when it's new. You don't know each other. Yes, but these are like one night stands. That's why I'm not like a cunt.

These are people where it's like, you know, I don't know, it's just not working. Hey, you want to hear an impression of me after foreplay

with Christine? Here's an impression of me. Puh. Because it's not wet enough because we've been together for 12 years um no I don't know I really like that's I just I don't have very few times in my I'm trying to think of how many times in my life sex has been like hard halted where people are leaving like awkward ish because like it was like a bad energy of like like I've even

had the like ah it's not gonna happen tonight like uh like I'm not gonna come or I've never had a hard problem so much maybe once or twice

but like not gonna come I drank a little too much or something like that I've had the other way where I came too fast and that's the word there was a couple girls

in my life who I really liked so much actually one time I had I came before she came to I've had I had a dream about it before she showed up in the hotel room at a night admission a night of mission yeah that's what they call it when you jizzing your pants I had a dream nocturnal emission emission. I came in my pants, woke up with her knocking on the door,

and I was like, fuck. Because I'm a one and done. Oh, see. I'm a one and done. Well, because as your mom told us, you have a huge cock. I don't. No, no, you have a big monster cock,

like your mom said. My mom did not. She said. No, she said, since Bobby was younger, dude, the guy's had a fucking tube snake. Tube snake boogie. And then she sang the tube snake boogie by ZZ Thug.

I have a very fine penis, but it's not a monster cock. The tube snake boogie. That's my boy Bobby's cock. It's huge. I'm one and done, and I've had girls who got me so hot

that a couple pumps, I'm like, fuck, I'm out. I've come fast. That's embarrassing. I've come fast, but again, beauty of having a fucking little wiener. It's ready to go again in a couple minutes.

It can go again. Not me. It takes breakfast, a couple hours sleep. No. If it's an exciting experience, I'm not talking about the basic couples been together like sex. If it's an exciting thing happening i

could go again shortly after not me used to be able to go again right away now i would need like a few minutes but i could go again yeah i can't i got one and done i'm out a little bit of that's why i try to make the best of it i like kissing for a while foreplay for a little i'll always go down on a girl first before she goes down to on me, I'm going down on her. I want to make her come first. Bobby, me and you, this is what drew us together. You're describing the exact same thing. Try to make her come first. Yep.

Because then if she comes a few times, God, man, if she's one of those awesome chicks who comes during fucking, you're blowing her fucking mind. Do you make a girl come first they're they turn into like like fucking wild animals so like just give it to me because then they really just want to make you come if you make a girl they go nuts now again if you read into christine's and i can only describe it as dykish energy um she is a one of the few girls

i know who i've ever heard say she's one and done Christine not one and done like one sesh do you know what I mean like you don't have like let's pick it back up again like sesh kind of energy at all like once you've come

and you said that before especially with one night stand she's like when you come you're really like go like go get out like you're ready for it to be kind of done yeah how do you do that like a threesome though?

If you guys have a person over, isn't that an all night affair? Do you just go once and then she's in the other room watching fucking television? No, you just start having a conversation about where they're from and how far away it is

and what does an Uber cost to get there. And then I go, well, I'm going to get you that Uber. And then I get the Uber. Then we go downstairs. We go past our doorman and hope they don't judge us, but I kind of hope they do.

Christine's like, this is just our friend, and I look back at him and go, mm-mm. Nope. You guys both walk him down? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's so polite. You have a little thing you do. Yeah, yeah. We'll both walk him down. Or walk them out. We were in the village. You'd walk them outside and get him an Uber.

We had that story. I said it's one of the fun... That was when Fennoy was them out. We were in the village. You'd walk them outside and get them an Uber. We had that story. I said it's one of the fun. That was when Finoia was our roommate. We brought that girl back who, after we hooked up, she was like, I'm so exhausted. Can I just stay here? And we're like, okay. And then the next morning, she kind of woke us up to fuck again, which was awesome. And then we were like, oh, you know what?

That was worth, I guess, the super uncomfortable night of sleep. But all right, let's get you that Uber. What do you say? And she was like, I'm so exhausted. Can I just stay and go back to sleep? And she slept in our room well into our day. It's like 4.30 in the afternoon. Oh, Jesus.

And I said, that was my favorite. She had a fringed leather jacket like Jodie Foster in The Accused. And that was just laying on our thing. And when Fennoy came out of his room at like one in the afternoon or something he was like hey guys I went and we were like shh

and he was like what which is a hilarious thing to shush someone in their own house cause a girl we fucked is sleeping but he's like what's up I go ah girl we hooked up she's just staying for some reason like well too long and then he went over to the chair and picked up her jacket.

And he goes, what did you guys, fuck Richie Sambora? That made me laugh. I've loved that story for so long. I love it. What did you fuck Richie Sambora? That was the girl. She goes, I just don't want this to change your opinion of me as a comic. And you go, I didn't know you were a comic until right now.

Until this moment, I know you're a comic. So great news. It's not. Neither of us knew if she was a comic. And guess what else? A couple years, you're not going to be a comic you can be right out of the business but you're what now i'll come say bye but uh yeah yeah the walkout is is pretty fun and again like we're also not like laying and come uh ordering an uber you know, you snap up. Start changing the vibes big. Now it's like,

have you ever seen that part of American Dad? Now we're watching American Dad clips. Well, actually, Jay runs off to smoke, and then I'm like, okay. That's terrible. I'll tell you what's funny. She's trying on your outfits. There's another funny one.

There's another funny one, though, about age. He's in nice shoes. About age, sleep, and the responsibility of somebody, too, because I will. Somebody will go off and smoke. one though about age shoes about age sleep and the responsibility and the responsibility of somebody too because i will sometimes i'll go off and smoke and when i when i come back into the room everything in me is hoping i go they're probably already dressed and getting their shit together going back in the room and they're both still naked you kind of go like and then i don't i'm dressed which makes me look kind of weird i'm the only person just

dressed again like so i so, I guess what? We're going to get out of here or whatever? That's weird. Yeah. Well, listen, the human nature, like, unless you're a person who lives that 24-7 swinger life, you know, like that kind of energy, how can it not? As soon as, like, we all come

and we're kind of, like, laying in those throws or whatever, there's something that was kind of silly about the whole situation. Like, what did we just do? That's so weird. Me and Christine are probably hungry also. But we also don't eat with you. Because you just thought we were sexy, and now you're going to see Christine's face touching a plate of spaghetti or something.

I think we both learned not to mention food until they're gone. We know we're going to eat, but we're not going to say, Oh, we've had that. I'm starving. I think we both learned not to mention food until they're gone. We know we're going to eat, but we're not going to say, oh, we should get some pizza. I'm actually hungry, too. I could have some pizza. We're like, oh, fuck me. You want to share a pussy but not pizza?

But you want to get it and have it in your ride home? No, we just think, we go, we can't believe this person. We're both low self-esteem. We're like, we can't believe this person

thought we were sexy to come back here. We're gonna ruin that sexy but like hey you want to see how I eat late night McWenton McDonald's it's pretty gross Christine makes a nice combination of hot mustard sauce and ketchup she dips everything in before you guys stuff your faces it's a hundred percent what it is sorry we don't yeah we don't want them to see us. Like, well, no, this relationship's clearly all sexy now only.

Because you feel comfortable when you guys eat. Like, me and Dawn have our thing when we eat. Like, late at night, you know, if we fool around, she'll make a little snack. We'll sit in front of the TV. We get our little tables. If there was somebody else there fucking that up, that would suck.

Right. No, that's what I'm that up, that would suck. Right. No, that's what I'm saying. We have our thing. Like, we watch our show. And if they don't want, like, if you're going to get something, we're going to get this. Like, I don't really eat that. You're like, okay, what do you want? Now you've got to get something else for them.

Yeah. Is there any Vietnamese food open this time of night? Fuck off. Do you have any pho? You guys into pho? What? Well, tonight. We've had a couple people stay a little.

But again, we've also hooked up people who are like, you know, quote unquote friends, like to some degree where it's like if they hang for an hour afterwards, great. They're not friends. They're lovers. What? Did you stick your finger in their bums? Yeah, that's a friend. It's a lover.

That's a lover. That's a lover. Is it always a girl, though? It's never a guy. Yeah, I don a friend. It's a lover. That's a lover. That's a lover. Is it always a girl, though? It's never a guy. Yeah, I don't fuck guys. Would you... You wouldn't have a chick with a penis, right? Would you ever do that?

I'd watch Christine with that in a heartbeat. Would you let that happen? No, he's like brought it up, and I'm just not really... Okay. Pillow talk, Christine. Pillow talk. Jesus Christ. What? No, so what? No, it was that one time really I'm into it. Pillow talk, Christine. Pillow talk. Jesus Christ.

What? No, so what? No, it was that one time. No, guys, I was super drunk though. What did he bring up? How did he bring it up? Shut up, Christine.

No, you get to say it. How did he bring it up? I don't even know. Just like in discussion, not like a scene. There wasn't like a person we were singling out. No, I think we just had

a conversation where I would watch that. I'd watch you with, I'd watch that, you know, and I'm like, I'm just not really, that's not really my attraction. I couldn't be with one but I could watch Christine get I'd watch that, you know, and I'm like, I'm just not really, that's not really my attraction. I couldn't be with one, but I could watch Christine get fucked by a big dick with tits, for sure.

Have you ever thought of that? I've thought about it, but it's just really not, it's not really where my attraction lies. I've thought about it, and my thoughts are, ew. A lot of the time, I'm not really into fake boobs. I don't really, I really don't like fake boobs so that's something where i'm like you know trans person all boobs are fake well there's some great fake boobs what if they didn't have fake boobs what if they just had you know hormone tits they were real boobs so i don't think you can get to boobs with just hormones some some of them can i have some you can have some hormone boobs you can get fake i think you can get fake boobs with just hormones some some of them can i have some you can have some hormone boobs

i think you can get fake boobs with hormones i think you can get a start no you'll get you'll get like nubs you'll get like uh bitch tits as they would say with steroids almost the estrogen the rock tits yeah you get bitch tits but it's uh no and again i don't i don't like, I hate implants on like small people where it's like that stretch skin is brutal. That looks weird. They do such a good job now. As I'm saying, they do great jobs. Yeah, great work now.

I love all kinds of boobs. Me too. I'm a big boob fan. I like all kinds of boobs and butts. I like little boobs. I like little tiny boobs. I didn't mean to pivot, but I am fascinated with the set list. Can we at least get to that?

Oh, my God. We pivoted. Yeah, we pivoted big time. Well, it was worth it. I learned a lot. I did, too. I don't regret it. Jay likes it in the butt, and he's thinking about washing it.

It's a finger, and it's a girl's finger. Yeah, but while she's blowing a guy with tits. Fuck you guys. Guys, fuck you. What is this old? First of all, it says she's going on guy with tits. Fuck you guys. Guys, fuck you. What is this old? First of all, it says she's going on at 9.50 p.m. Yeah, sure.

No, that's the, I mean, the doors are at 7.30. She has to nap till 8. There's an opening act? It's a drag queen. Yeah, Bob the Drag Queen. I'll be there at 7.30. What does that mean? What is he doing he's doing

a drag show drag show it's probably just drag horse you've never been to a drag show no i don't really drag drag is so boring thank you thank you jacob some of them could be never found it funny uh really it'd be funny if you were there laughing for the wrong reasons with a friend yeah okay like the reasons that would get you canceled. The set list. Here we go, set list. It's broken into six, seven acts. Act one, a recording of It's a Celebration. I don't know what that is. What do you mean a recording?

What the fuck does that mean? You know, just like over the, yeah. It's like, you know when they play. Like the intro. Do you know, like, if you look at a Godsmack set list, it says in the beginning, with a recording, for those about to rock. Okay. But it's her song.

So they play ACDC. This is her song. Okay. I guess, or maybe it's a speech or something from a new album. Why don't you need a speech? It's a celebration. Then Nothing Really Matters. I don't even know what that is.

Oh, wait. Did you open on It's a Celebration? Because it says Bob the Drag Queen, D&D, Lucky Star Celebration, Erotica Vogue, B.I.M., and Material Girl. I don't know if it's some mix he performs to. No, it's what it is. It's going to be. It's going to be him doing these songs.

He's doing those songs? He's going to. It's a drag queen. He's going to. He's going to. He's going to like. No, he's not. They're going to play the songs recorded.

He's going to sing them better than her. And he's going to fake it. Yeah. He's going to lip sing. You guys are going to a fucking drag show in an arena. I'm not going to go shit. You can just get there at 9.50, you know, just to get there at 9.50. I'm going to go there early and get a hot dog to throw at Bob the Drag Queen.

He's going to catch it in his mouth and swallow it. And then shit it out whole. First song by Madonna, Nothing Really Matters. Yeah, this... Do they know it? I don't even know it I don't know it free flight album

love it Everybody I don't know what that Everybody is Everybody don't you do your thing everybody I like that song

I don't know that's our first single that's early yeah and then it's also playing elements of Where's the Party which is

I don't know yeah Where's the Party I want a elements of Where's the Party, which is... I don't know. Yeah. Where's the party? I want a free lunch. So where's the party? I don't think I remember that one. Into the Groove.

Excited for that. Okay. That's a good one. That's early, right? That's the first big one. Causing a commotion. No idea. Nope. Then Burning Up.

Burning Up. I know Burning Up. Burning Up. Burning Up for your love. I'm burning up. Open Your Heart. Okay. Open Your Heart to me. And Holiday. Burning up for your love. I'm burning up. Open your heart. Okay. Open your heart to me.

And holiday. Okay. Holiday. That's act one. That's act one. Act two, very short. It's recording the storm. So she has to take a break in between that

and then go get her blood transfused. She has to have all of her blood changed. Send them six blood transfers. It's like fucking, they got the Pennzoil team in there. She has to have a different head put on and then come back out. Okay. Go ahead.

So while they're re-putting her head on. That's not her ass. That's actually babies feeding blood into her fucking neck. The song The Storm. Nope. That's a recording. That's going to play as a recording.

Okay, so they play that as a recording to start the thing. Act two. Gotcha. Then Live to Tell. Excited for that. What's that song? How's that go? Come on.

Seriously. Live to tell. Oh, that's slow. Oh, yeah. Sean Penn song. Live to tell. To tell. Nah, it's a goodie.

Sucks. That movie sucked too. No, it didn't. It did suck. The movie with Sean Penn with his brother? Yeah, the Penn boys and Christopher goodie. Sucks. That movie sucked, too. No, it didn't. The movie with Sean Penn, with his brother? Yeah, the Penn boys and Christopher Walken. Fucking blue. What?

They were at close range. It sucked. It sucked. And that movie sucked. The song sucked. Madonna sucks. It sucked. That movie sucked.

Hang on. It sucked. No, don't say that. Jay, there's no way you thought at close range sucked. Time has passed. You can say it now. The fucking name of the movie sucked. No, don't say that. It did. Jay, there's no way you thought At Close Range sucked. Time has passed. You can say it. The fucking name of the movie sucked. Dude, when he fucking shoots next to his father's head and he goes, all right, all right.

Come on, it's good. Al Gibbs just sucked. Oh, you're wrong. It was the worst Sean Penn movie ever. Don't say that. It's crazy. And then this song was in it? Yeah, because they were fucking.

Actually, what's cool is this song is in it like it's like the through line kind of like score, like slower versions of it. I think it's very cool. It sucked, and the video sucked. All right. The video. The video's the best part. The video's great. The video, the song sucked.

No way. Oh, my God. You like the song? I do. The song's good. It's by being held captive by somebody. If she lives to tell this story. I hope she didn't.

She did. I hope she didn't. She lived way too long. What else we got? Like a Prayer. I might cry. That's act two. Like a Prayer's gonna start.

It's gonna be like, life is a mystery. And I'm just gonna start bawling. That's a good song. I'll give it to that song. That's great. Well, I'll tell you what though. Here's the thing.

She's fucking with everything. So every song I've read so far is one you love. Probably has a parenthesis underneath it saying something. This says, like a prayer, with elements of Bergena, Gasletto, Batzegon, Unholy, Girl Gone Wild, and Active Contrition. Oh, she's going to fuck up all the good songs. She is. She is.

She has to. She can't sing the whole song. She'll die. She can sing over a track. She's 68. So here you go. She's doing the song. She's. She has to. She can't sing the whole song. She'll die. She can sing over a track. She's 68. She's in AARP. They all sing the tracks. She's doing the song Erotica that's going to have

elements of Justify My Love, You Thrill Me, and Papa Don't Preach. No, elements. You want the whole song. Yes. Here you go. She's doing Justify My Love, which is going to have elements of gangsta, erotica, and fever.

Right. Boo. Hung Up, which has elements of Hung Up on Tokisha and La Isla Bonita. This is acoustic Jack and Diane all over again. It is. That stupid Bonita song sucked too. I love it. She sings Happy Birthday. The one that goes, No, it's Bonita song sucked too. I love it. She sings Happy Birthday.

The one that goes on dos, guay, on bina. No, it's I Don't Love It. Oh, it does suck. Okay, look. Ah, it fucking blows.

Then Bad Girl, which I don't even know what that is, but also has elements of something else in it. Oh, there's elements of everything and everything. Act Four.

Fuck me. Ballroom. Oh. Don't know it. That stinks. Well, that's just the video. That's just the recording Okay well she's getting her fucking leg put back on

Then Vogue They have to give her 30 minutes in between each set It says Vogue And then Human Nature Shortened I don't know if that's the Michael Jackson No Human Nature is one of my favorite songs How's it go? It goes I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me.

How's it go again? How's it go again? I did it. Just one more time. No. I'll do it with you. Ready? One, two, three.

One, two. I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me. Christine, talk about fingering my ass. She can't wait to talk about fingering my fucking asshole. Then they do a shortened version of Crazy for You. I mean, she was hot back in the day. She's fucking up and changing every song. All right, here we go.

Ready? Now we're at act five. I got to wrap this up. The Beast Within will play over recording. Yeah, she's going to be singing the songs too. Die Another Day from James Bond. Don't care about that. Nope.

Don't Tell Me. I. Don't Tell Me. I like Don't Tell Me. Which contains elements of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh my God. Mother and Father. No idea. Express Yourself. Acoustic.

Oh God. If she pulls out a guitar, I'll fucking throw up. She can't play guitar. There's no way. La Isla Bonita. Shortened. Thank God. Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Short can't play guitar. There's no way. La Isla Bonita, shortened. Thank God. Don't Cry For Me Argentina,

shortened. Thank God. Now we're at act six. Another dumb song. Now Madonna, video interlude, contains elements of I Don't Search I Find.

She's backstage getting chiropractor. Now, then something called Bedtime Story with elements of Sound Factory. Ray of Light.

She is doing it. They do have Ray of Light, but it's a remix. This starts at stakes. I wish tomorrow... Well, no, we do have... We have a show tomorrow? Yes. Yeah.

Rain, the song Rain, which I do know. How's that go? I hear your rain. Feel it on my... Your love's coming down like... I'll hear your rain Feel it on my Feel it on my Your love's coming down like I don't know this one Rain

Wash away my sorrow I'm so glad there's no windows on this floor Rain It is adorable watching the two of you do it Oh god And then act 7 is simply... 7? Yeah.

It's 28 songs. Still less than The Cure. This is the hip change, I believe. Still less than The Cure. Then they're going to play... Yeah, she's getting the hip adjustment. Act 7, she's going to go ahead

and get her shoes sewn into her feet. Song played from tape. Billie Jean slash Like a Virgin contains elements of Express Yourself, Angel, Smooth Criminal, Dangerous, YRMW, TY, TWY, MMF by Michael Jackson.

I don't know what that is. You Remember the Time? I don't know. Who knows? Then Bitch, I'm Madonna. Oh, good for you. Which contains elements of Give Me All Your Lovin'. That'll be kind of fun.

Give me all your lovin', all your hugs and kisses, dude. It should be Bitch, I for you. Which contains elements of give me all your loving. That'll be kind of fun. Give me all your loving, all your hugs and kisses, dude. It should be bitch, I was Madonna. Now I'm some old fucking yenta from the Upper East Side. And then it closes with Celebration, a Benny Benassi remix containing elements of music and bitch on Madonna shortened. That's it. That's her finale song.

I've never heard of it. This sucks. It's a shit thing. Now, there's enough songs peppered throughout that I'm going to be excited to hear. And also, the spectacle's going to be ridiculous.

But that's it. I can't believe. So what are we saying? What's off there? Borderline. Lucky Star. Holiday. Although he hates material girl though

she said she regretted that because it made her seem vain she is vain she never liked that made her seem vain not having the toilets changed she has varicose veins yeah she's vain alright

veiny fantastic hey everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show if you want the whole thing go actual SiriusXM radio show.

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