The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Moonwalking With The Stars

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

The Bonfire's favorite crooner is joining Dancing With The Stars. Jay speculates on which Michael Jackson song Corey Feldman will dance to first. | A camper calls in to scold Bobby for chewing food on the microphone. | Bob watches the new Spike Lee movie with Denzel Washington and is appalled by the ending. | The guys research fat pad removal for their cheeks and judge which celebrities look good with the surgery. | Jacob takes notes on the host's behavior so he can report back to the bosses. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. I don't want to too much music play. I want people to know I'm here on time. It's been a point of contention. Do you think they all follow? Do you think they follow me if I get fired, Bobby? Do the fans follow me? They all follow you. Serious is itching.

Yeah, I have to, I'm going to get shuffled over to a Sam show in the morning as a producer. They poor Jacob. They make poor Jacob call me early. That'd be funny if they didn't even care They're just called Bob and Bob and the boys I don't give a fuck Sam Roberts and the boys Whatever keeps those pockets fatter

No They glory Jacob They make Jacob call It's the worst I feel so bad for him What do you mean? I started defending myself And I'm like okay

No okay They make Jacob call Because I was late Oh yeah You got a phone call? Yeah Really Do you know what's funny

Ten years I've my job's been called In the question Here four or five times never once has anybody been like you know the show's doing great no one's ever called Series X-S never told us the show's going great they let us know we're moving studios and then I was late twice in a row in a row which is bad not in a row you came

in now the last Wednesday I missed a bar I was late that was fucking that was the three hours of traffic almost I hit on the way and then yesterday I was five yesterday you were here your mic wasn't working yeah so I don't know what they're talking they didn't buy it I don't know what, dude, I thought they were going to buy that whole fucking microphone thing, like I said. The funny thing is I was supposed to be late yesterday. And I said that's what I would do. That was your bit.

Yeah. I took your bit because you were late. Funny. And it's funny because I was talking to Christine. I was like, well, traffic's a bit. She's like, yeah, I know, but we do leave from the same house. Oh, that's what Christine said? No, I'm kidding.

We leave from the same house. She leaves, takes the dog in, so she goes earlier. She has extra, she has more stuff to do. Yeah, well, no, she leaves it, but it also is at an earlier time. It's like traffic, like, starts getting worse in that time. No, I'll probably have to start leaving around the same time. She leaves. I leave, to get here by 4.30, I leave at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Do you? Every day. 1 o'clock. Takes me three hours to get here. Really? Yeah, but that's the type of commitment I've decided to, that's the type of person I am. Well, listen, that's the kind of. a person out that is going to get you a little show called by them bobbing guys bobbing guys

it's going to be you and bobbing guys but do they come do they follow me at all any people buddy every the whole everybody here mm-hmm even the crew is going to follow you to my basement i'm going to show up the only one's going to be here is christine by yourself hey guy corporate steen um no dude you're not dude you were uh you i even give jacob when he called me poor jacob he called and I answered and I go dude I just did a phone I literally just got finished doing a phone interview for Calgary

which means I'm sure I'm not selling great and uh I was going into a going on I was like I was like oh I gotta do a fucking a radio call a radio phoneer for a Calgary oh it's gonna be a go to what what made you get in the comedy

and it was so funny the guy goes you know I did a little research on you uh on Wikipedia there and uh and he goes and I gotta ask you what the hell makes you get in the comedy huh he asked it with pizzazz i guess he thought that was the surprising question who goes to wikipedia so i told that question so i told that

story for the 7000th time in my life well it's canada what's made you get in the comedy canada radio is a different thing you know Canada radio they it's a government sponsored right yeah it's it's not the same as here it's very corporate and old school yeah yeah it's not not here well they're not trying to trying to get you know listeners they're not trying to be the next thing they just it's a job then jacob called and i answered the phone i go hey jacob what's up buddy or no you called i was on that when he called so i called right back when the phone calls over

was sort of annoying like whatever was 10 minutes but like i called uh i saw jacob go can't give me call you get a chance i could call him i go jacob this isn't terrible news is it because i just can't take terrible news right it goes it's not terrible news they're pretty pissed about you missing to be leaving for work. I'm like, oh, that is kind of terrible news. I would you say that's not terrible news. I didn't put it like that.

No, he didn't, that's not, that's not verbatim. It's not verbatim. How did you say it? I don't really want to get into this because I'm, now I'm going to be critiqued. Why? Yeah, that's what happens. No, no, not by you.

Oh, no, you're going to be critiqued by us too. Oh, Jacob, they make you make the phone call. You have to make the phone call. I understand that. Why Jacob? Why don't they just, who? Who is the executive producer? You type,

you type F words and N words And time codes for F words and N words, take them out of the replay. Also, by the way, I think you're just typing the F word and N word over and over again. It's going to make the shining when we look at your notes. It's just the F word, the N word over and over and over again. Oh my fucking God, what's going?

This guy's a maniac. He types in that we say it like all day long, just to keep his job relevant. they keep saying it I gotta keep typing it they say it I gotta type it so you you called him up

I thought it was very what did you say it's great professional a very buddy Jay was great I was great I was great I want to hear it I started I started to defend myself

and then I was just like I was like yeah for sure I'll leave earlier well the quote was it came in that I've been consistently late and I was like well that's not true

I've not been consistent And I was like, and then it was like, but it was like the, he's like, well, the two days back to back. And I'm like, yes, that I did. I did fuck up two days back to, well, fuck up. Yeah, I fucked up. Can I tell you how insecure I am when, because I heard that too out front the, you know, hey, talk to Jay, tell me he's got to get to work early, right? And I was, and I was like. Oh, you heard the call to talk from Jim?

Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, shit. No, maybe I didn't. And Christine. Everyone was out there. Everybody knew the call was coming. No, but it wasn't, it was a very, it was a very, I was cool ignoring about it.

It's just, you know, hey, make sure, you know, you leave on time. It wasn't a, I swear to God, it was not a, it was not a, hey, at all. Let's quit. You want to quit with me at the end of this contract? If Jim was, if Jim was kind of like, what the fuck about it, I'd tell you. But he wasn't. He was just like, hey, man, we just can make sure we're doing it. You know, it was one of those things.

And he went and told Jacob to henchman for him. Yeah, well. but this how it's Jacob he knows how to break bones he goes Jacob let him know he loves it too let him know Jacob

he probably has an outfit like a with like gloves you know leather gloves evil priest or something yeah he probably goes in his closet puts on a tie makes a certain English knot

that people don't know hey idiot maybe show up to work on time you fucking dummy do you know how insecure I am when that happened I was like oh it's not a it's in my brain i was like oh they don't want me alone on the radio for 10 minutes

by myself so j get it together fuck face you're such a comment no no you do good um i do good you're you're always on time you do good you do good on radio bobby no you do good at being on time oh thanks and on radio i i i time is a big thing for me i do not like you do not like you Even when I got attacked a couple years ago, I was, the thing that was making me nervous that I would be late. I don't want to be late. I don't like being late. You'd have this guy cut an artery.

It doesn't matter. I really don't. I would show up bleeding. Who's going, is that, uh, is that him telling, uh, I'm fired, or people saying they'll follow me to hell? There's one person saying that they will follow you to hell. Oh, thank you, Robert. Um, one's Jim.

Go to hell. Go to hell. Oh, yeah, I mean, Hope in Boston, you don't have to take the call, but we're definitely getting to this, and I'm actually happy she brought it up. Take the call. Take the call. Take the call. Take the call from J.D. who said once Bobby stopped chewing on microphone? Is that what it is? That's what J.D. like to say. Not that one. Don't take that one. No, but was I chewing? I don't know. That's what J.D. says in Jacksonville. I was chewing? I don't. J.D. and Jacksonville? What do you think?

Might be your none. I don't hear it. Yeah, take it. J. J.D., what's up? He's always chewing. Oh, shit. He's always chewing. Wow, that was... He came out of the gates. I listen to all your shows. You chew on every single show.

Over and over. Everybody calls you out, but you take it personal. I did not. And you do it the next day. You do it on every single show you're on. Well, first of all... He's got principal energy. Hey, Jay.

Every single show. J.D. This is the fathering you needed, Bobby. J.D., I want to say this. I was going to say this. First of all, thank you for listening to all my stuff. Yes, that is nice. Over and over, even though you're waiting for me to chew, I think it's...

Mostly at this point, it's just listening for the chew. Most at this point to see if I stop chewing. Nobody ever says anything. You'll never stop. I appreciate your... I just don't know, like, if I was chewing, am I... Lou, you're the guy.

Anytime I make a noise, you're... Stop it. You do this to everybody. What's it really... Can I? Am I really smacking like my dog's looking at his dick? That's what it sounds like. Man. Wait a minute.

I'm smacking? Like, I'm looking at, am I licking a dick or am I chewing? I don't, I don't understand. This is what Dylan and Dick was saying like. When you're chewing, you sound like my dog licking his wiener. Now, why do you consistently listen to your dog licking his wiener? Shouldn't you have that stop before my chewing? No, dog's going to lick wiener.

You're right. You're right. I apologize. A dog is going to be a dog. Dog is going to be a dog. Attack the problem. I just quit eating. When you're on the air, just stop eating.

It's the only thing. I just want to tell you that I, Don't eat on air. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't chew. Bobby, Bobby, come on. The guys ask you not to. Please, you know how many hours I listen to you? Come on, man.

Listen, I apologize. There you go. Bobby. Bobby, stop it. Anyway, guys, I love you. Love you too, Bobby. You gotta stop. J.D., thank you for listening, and I will work on my chewing.

Bobby, please. The fall. It ain't nothing to work on you. You don't have a syndrome, dude. Just stop beating. Apparently, I have a syndrome that I don't know. You only know what happened when it's happened. Am I, now, wait a minute.

Now you're adding stuff. Am I sucking and chewing? You're blowing and sucking and fucking. Sucking? All right, so sucking, chewing. I think really you've turned into a teenager. I really have. What is that now?

What? I don't get this. I think you turn into a teenager. Buddy, stay on point. You're doing good. Don't fucking ruin it now, stupid. Stay on the chewing and the sucking. and the sucking and the loud pitch redneck voice.

Jacksonville's a weird place. He had this inside him. I know. Now, JD, can ask you, do you feel a little better right now? He has to feel better. You have to feel better. He has to feel better. Do you feel better?

Yeah, yeah. That makes me feel good. That makes me feel good that you feel a little better. Thank you for getting it out. For now, until he finds out you're never going to stop that show. He won't He won't I was worth a shot

I've never called before JD You can only do what you can do You can do what you can do But I tell you what I'm going to give it a shot for you Jayne Yeah yeah What if though

What if I do you do What if I do do it And he stops listening Because it's not the same Yeah he's like I don't know the rhythm's off now Yeah he's not getting that adrenaline dump from his rage

Yeah I feel like Bobby starts Petering out in middle of the show Because he's not constantly eating I guess Bobby's constantly eating every producer says something to you about it every single producer says something to you about it and that's why they have such a rotating cast over there constant fire you yeah oh bone to pick wait a minute can i ask you a question are you the guy that complained on bone to pick

no oh okay no i don't ever write comment because i know y'all don't read them i don't but i will i appreciate this god i do once in a while and the ones like this would make me cry so good job I think it's good that you don't read them They're not for you I know that's how I look at it It's just for venting the ether I tell you what I wish I read this one Huh?

I wish I read this one Yeah But Bobby this is going to be Such a big step for you Yeah it is You're going to stop eating between your work hours Yeah This is going to be big

Let me tell you something The fact that he's realized That during the bonfire In all my shows I am eating Udon noodles And chips I'm eating constantly

Like Brad Pitt and Ocean's 11. Absolutely. And Ocean's 12. You can't be stopped. The fact that he picked that up is, I appreciate it. Yeah. Well, listen, you need protein inside of you. I do.

Everybody knows that. Thank you for the call, J.D. Wow. What's up? Hope in Boston, we should let her hop on the horn with us here because she was news that we, it's our fault. We haven't even brought this up yet. What is it? We haven't at all, right?

Corey Feldman dancing with the stars. We haven't mentioned this at all yet. We haven't mentioned it. Somehow. No. Right? No. We haven't mentioned it at all.

Hope. Hey there I was hoping you're just going to have a super Boston accent Hey Hope What part of Boston are you from What part of Boston you're from Actually Whitman

Oh Whitman Oh we're Joe List is from Joe List is from Wittman It's not really Boston It's like it It's the country It's New Hampshire Yeah

We all say that You go anywhere else You say oh I'm from Boston Yeah we all say Boston She's really from Massachusetts And I just want to say Hope I apologize for chewing I was actually going to say that I don't think you guys get enough to talk you guys are fantastic

I wasn't going to come in with the negative thing but I was bummed that nobody had said anything about fell dog on dancing with the stars well it is right here it's on our list of stuff to to go over and it is crazy we haven't gotten to it yet because what I think I'd like to try to do I know Howard Stern had far more reach than we do for sure at that time but he did for San Gaya was kept an untalented singer in the mix for his own laughing pleasure for many, many weeks. And I'd like to hope if you could help us with this in any way you can, to get a grassroots movement going to make sure that every Tuesday night, starting

next Tuesday, that everybody and their mother do everything you can to vote for Corey Feldman, because here's what going to happen. I don't think he's going to need his big week one. They're going to play to his strengths week one. My guess, by the way, if we're doing prop bets I'll go on a limb and I'll bet $100 to somebody that says I say he's going to do They're going to flat out do the way you make me feel by Michael Jackson

It's going to be him dancing with a girl And he's going to get to Michael Jackson out for one episode And then And then It starts getting hilarious So we got to get this guy through a few rounds Because he's going to fight with his dance partner He's going to definitely

fall to pieces when he's not Michael Jackson dancing. We've seen this before. Do you think he's going to try to get her to be an angel and move in with him and eat certain things? No, when it goes haywire, he's going to blame her. Right, okay. He's going to say it's like her fall. Like she's like, it's like, well, I don't know. It's like, I'm not a professionalist.

I need instructions or something. You know, he's just going to like get shit, whatever the thing is. And I'd be blown away. Blown away is too harsh. I'd be surprised, but there is an outside chance that he's going to like say. like the problem is his partner's dancing completely. Or the judges. Somebody was bullying him.

Couldn't go on any further. Yeah, it's going to be. I just want to see him salsa. I want to know what everyone would love to see him do. Oh. Teach Michael Jackson. I would like to see him do a little ballroom dancing, a little spinning. I would like to see if he could pick his partner up in the air type of thing.

He's not a dirty dancing ode maybe. Here's the thing He's not very coordinated at all He just He just learned like He just learned like the muscle memory thing Of like those Michael Jackson Do you know what I mean?

He learned an impression of Michael Jackson Like we all did And does that be up But he doesn't have It's not like it's Michael Jackson You could have made Michael Jackson A ballroom dancer And made him

He did it everything He was just a great dancer You could have taught him anything Different There was actual challenge Yeah Corey Feldman is going to eat shit when they're like, this week we're going to do the hustle.

And then, you know, like the salsa something, you know, Latin dancing. It's going to, it's going to be, but we need to see him in a fully armed shirt trying. Yeah. And that's going to be up to you to people. Now, now he was on the first night. I didn't see it. Did you watch it? No, no.

It starts next Tuesday. Oh, it's starting. I thought it was this Tuesday. I thought it was Monday. We would have been talking about it already. I thought it was my, okay. So they have to come out. I don't really, I remember the show a little bit.

So they come out the first night and they have to have a dance ready to go. Well, I mean, they work out. It's the first episode, everybody dances and then they vote somebody off right away. Right away. So someone gets away off right away. I have to be completely honest. I have never seen the show before and I heard someone in the salon talking about it and I screamed out loud laughing. Yeah.

I've watched one episode ever. It was Nikki Glazer first started on. I watched her first episode. borderline, you know, for like, you want to see it go good and bad. But she did really good. Elaine Hendricks is my friend. Really? Yeah, she was the blonde on sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

So you're rooting for her? I mean, I'm rooting for, well, first I'm looking for Corey Feldman and then her. The Topanga is also on. I can't believe Elaine's on it. I mean, the star of the show is going to be Corey Feldman, for sure. Can you tell me who the stars are? Who's on it? Andy Richter.

Okay, well, he's hilarious. I don't know who the other people are Elaine, I know Elaine, who else? Oh, Barron Davis Robert Irwin, Steve Irwinson, Hilaria Baldwin. Hilary Baldwin, who's up? Oh, I like believe that she still does Latino dancing, though.

There's Elaine. Okay, nice. Andy Richter. I don't know who that is. Look him up. Who is that? Jordan. She's an Olympian.

Okay. So it's going to be hard to beat her. Yeah, she is. Who's that? Whitney leave it. I don't know, but her tit's flat. That's a weird mush-down tit. Who's that?

Zach Efron's brother, I'm guessing. It must be. Looks just like him. Baron Davis, former point card. And who's that? Alex Earle, I don't know. So it's not really dancing with the stars anymore. It's dancing with kind of stars.

Absolutely. It's the same thing. It's like the mass singer. Someone had a joke about that. It's so funny. Like the guesses they make it first when they realize, like, you know who's on the show?

Like at first they start off to like, oh, God, is it Oprah? I know that voice. It's Brad Pitt. And they take it off and it's like, it's one of the other workaholics. Yeah, I know. They had Dick Van Dyke on. It's not the one even Adam Devine. It's the other, it's a curly hair workaholic.

They had Dick Van Dyke on a couple weeks ago. Did you see that? No. Dick Van Dyke. And you knew it was somebody old because they didn't walk out. They had to wheel them out. The Masked Singer? Yeah, so it was just a, it was like a gnome that they wheeled out.

and then the hands moved a little bit. So you know it's just somebody who can't move, right? And they were thinking Al Pacino. They were saying Al Pacino. They said Robert De Niro. I'm like, really? You think De Niro has fell that far where he's going to do the mask? That's crazy.

And then they had to take the head off. And he's 97. So he's just in this thing probably dying. Yeah. Marlon Brando. Does anyone even know who he? Well, they started. A lot of people didn't know.

But Nicole started crying hysterically. Spurginger? Yeah, she started just going, oh, thank God. He's my childhood. Christine kind of says that too. I do love Mary Poppins. I love Dick Van Dyke. I love Dick Van Dyke is my childhood too, but I wouldn't cry.

Not me. say he's my childhood. He was not my childhood. Your childhood is cops and R&B banks. And a Carol Burnett show. Oh, you didn't grow up with Cable. Right. Okay.

You didn't grow up with, you didn't watch Mary Poppins. Sure, I saw that. Chee-chitty Bang Bang? No. I mean, yes, but I don't remember anything about. Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang was my favorite movie in my, I would put it in my top ten. And then you started doing heroin and getting your dick sucked at 11. Until I sat Max down to watch it with Dawn

And 20 minutes in they go, this stinks Yeah, they were right And I was like, yeah, this stinks You don't have to make people go back I mean, if you go back and watch Bambi now It looks like Flipbook animation It's hard to watch It's like difficult to watch

The animation is choppy It's like, chitty-chitty bang bang does not hold up It takes so long to get him To be a flying, floating car And by the time he does And then it's just this pedophile Trying to steal kids Your hero, Dickman,

Dick Van Dyke. I do love Dick Van Dyke. I mean, he's awesome. Listen. Listen, that. You, but if anybody wants a little action on that, 100 bucks says he's coming, I'm specific. I'm going super specific. The way you make me feel, he's going to dress in that Michael Jackson, the blue with the tied up blue shirt, and he's going to dance. Basically, they're going to have him Michael Jackson dance around the chick. So you're saying he's coming out shooting all his bullets on the first step out of the 100% one cannonball of ability they picked Dustin Dustin Hoffman Tony Bennett Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman again doesn't there it is Tony Bennett's dead how do they it doesn't matter how do they how do they not know the

level of the show themselves like they can't believe it you can't believe that Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro are singing and it's Tony Bennett if it was Tony Bennett you'd be like that's Tony Bennett and he started singing. It's hilarious. He's just going, you can tell it's Dick Van Dyke because he's like, you know,

and that Raspi's 97, he can hardly sing, and he's in this costume that he's dying in, by the way. It's the guitar player from Creed. It's such a bad idea for a show. Let's go around the room. What do you think he's going to do

in his first night, Jacob? Do you think he's going out and shooting all his bullets? Or do you think he's going to do something else? and save his bullets. Can we look up while we see this before we have to... Because he's not with a partner.

What? He's dancing with a partner. Yeah. Yeah, but... He's usually a solo artist. No, that's why I'm saying. I think he's going to dance around the girl, Michael Jackson, around her to the way you make me feel.

And that's a very specific guest, but I'm standing by that one. Yeah, it's kind of a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together. Hey, Jay, can you pass me a chance? Chip? Yeah. I'm sorry. You know what?

No, I'm not going to do that. No? No. But why, it looks like you are doing it. Yeah, what are you going to go? Bobby. What? It's kind of clue that.

Jay, you called. And he said he's sick of you doing this on all your goddamn show. You're going to get another phone call from Jacob. Hey, Jay. Jim asked if you could stop. He gets the bit, but just. Jacob said this to me when he called? He gets the bit.

It's not working. Do you when he called? Bobby, that is a line I would use. That is. When he called, if Jay goes this, he goes, he goes, they're listening. That's what he said to me. They're listening. Who the fuck is they?

They, they're not listening. They. They, the royal day. Are they really listening? They. Does anybody think that Corey's going to try and sing? No. Wait a minute.

That's an interesting. Has anybody sang? He's so excited that he has the opportunity to dance and not have to also terrible sing. He could focus just on terrible dancing. Do you know how hard? artist to double threat at two things you're terrible at? That's crazy. That's why I can't die in exercise at the same time.

It's actually a double threat and it's a real threat. It's an actual threat. Hey, but he could play an instrument. Has anybody played an instrument? Has anybody sung on, sang on? I don't know, but I also like to see, is there a thing, Christine? Like, is the first round, that's what I want to check. Is the first round like a set thing?

Like, it's always going to be, like, they're always going to do a class. like dance like that everyone knows or something that's the way it used to be they used to have a theme for the whole show like it could be michael jackson day right which it will be at some point um i don't think he's going to come out i do not think he's going to come out you think he's going to eat shit day one i think he's going to come out and he's not going to eat shit i think i think everybody's going to do good and he's not going to be the one to go they know that this guy is a gold mine for uh the uh opportunity he's going to give off the air and all the crazy shit he's going to pull.

The other, they're going to get rid of some dud on the first one. It says, historically, some seasons have had specific themes required dances for first round, such as the cha-cha or the waltz in early seasons or performances to the celebrity's personal anthem in more recent seasons, so if they're going with that, all bullets, first show, yes, Bobby.

You want that $100 bet, the way you make me feel. I'll take it. You knock me off. my feet girl but he's gonna he's gonna lip sing the shit of that i say this we don't bet money we bet we bet we bet facial hair we have to have hannah bar mustaches for a week and that's it yeah i can't why because of my i'm ugly will they play a michael jackson song huh will they use a michael jackson song yeah why can't they because abc is disney and they don't want to touch Michael Jackson's song?

No, they don't want him touching children, but he can't anymore. He's dead, Jacob. All right. His songs are. I know he's your Freddy Kruger. I know that he's your Freddy Kruger, Jacob, and you wake up on cold sweats

thinking he's touching you. But he's dead. Yeah, plus Michael Jackson's music is more powerful than pedophilia. I agree. This is what he's going to do. This is my complete guess. That is this.

You say he's going to actually do the video. Same outfit. I think he's going to wear the outfit. Hang up a second. He's going to wear the outfit. the white t-shirt belt? It's that, listen, he doesn't even think he's good enough to possibly pull off Thriller.

So he's not, the only two songs where Michael Jackson follows a chick around and forces himself on pawn her but dance? This is the other one. I think that he... But Michael Jackson will not continuously leave a woman alone while he dances around her. It makes her feel very boxed in

with no feeling of personal space. I vote Billy Jean. I think he's going to shoot for the stars and give it all he's got. You're saying he's going to unload his whole gun. No. It's the first episode. You can't do Billy Jean and not even attempt to moonwalk.

He's not going to do that. He's going to attempt the moonwalk. He doesn't know how to moonwalk. Well, his ego says he can't. You think for the first time he's going to whip out of moonwalk on TV? Is that what you think? Yes. You're out of your mind.

Look up if Corey Feldman's ever moonwalk before. I bet those girls are all ugly now. See, there's no real dancing here except for the jive. I know. That's what I'm saying he's going to have to do that. It's going to be a lot of, like, walk, like the walking beside her and, like, a groove. Yeah, and a groove. This stuff.

I love that Michael Jackson put himself on a bunch of gangs in his video. I know. You know his dad, he's always in some gang. Yeah, they were always, and none of them really had a problem with his ambiguous sashy words around his tummy. Yeah, nobody, nobody. What gang is that? Are you guys pirates? Yeah, all, he was a bunch of, he was always in a bunch of gay gangs.

I know. Yeah. He's like, you remember when that? They were picking on him in bad, and then it turns color, and he's like, I just went and changed into some buckle-y clothes. Jacob's typing right now. Oh, Jesus Christ. Hey, dude, DJ Lou, punch Christine in the shoulder and say punch buggy green for me.

Thanks. Punch buggy green. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, they might have a car. I'm telling you, isn't this at the end of the video? Doesn't he beat up a car and then turn to a Puma and leave? To the best of my knowledge, this video ends with him destroying a car.

turning into a panther and leaving. No, that's not this one. I think it is. There's only one way to find out. Get to the end of this super duper gay song. Damn, I did like Michael Jackson, but it is music for children. He is good, though, man.

He's so good. Yeah. You ever see the concert where he comes out and just stares at the crowd for 10 minutes? History. And the place just goes fucking nuts. Yeah, history. God, you know, be bad I want to do that

at the Wilbur Theater in Boston. Damn, you're right. It wasn't this one. I believe you're thinking of Dirty Diana. No. No, at the end, there's one video they put a little animation on it. Is this moonwalking?

I'm trying to find a moonwalk, because if there's a moonwalk. This is Billy Jean, though. Leave it. Let's turn it up. Oh, my God, I've never heard this. I know. This is...

Turn the volume on. Sorry. Panicking. He definitely has the high-need stepping in place. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. I've never seen him actually when he thinks he's doing Michael Jackson.

So what he thinks... He's moonwalking. He moonwalked Right there Wow let's see it again So this is going to happen I don't think he's going to do this The first show

Dude it's like rock hard right now It's not a great moonwalk It was not a good moonwalk Yeah but it's not Can I say something like the stage That's not That's not a great moonwalking stage Look at Zach Courtney

It's almost I know She's like can I get the fuck away from this guy Why am I tied to him? Go back to Canada Why did I tie myself from this nitwit is that the girl drummer right there yeah well they're all girls in the band his wife is the keyboards ex-wife now but that is the thing like when he thinks he's has to in this in his mind he's doing a michael jackson impression this is he's like i'm choosing to do a michael jackson impression

and it kind of falls apart because he's he believes when he's doing it that it's him oh yeah He's like, yeah, I can't actually hit it exactly like Mike. Like, no, you're just doing bad versions of what you normally do because it's such a weird. Oh, his psychology amuses me. It's a similar kind of dance. Yeah, they grew up dancing together. Do you want to see his Good Morning America intro? Yeah, you know I do.

Don't ask, just play it. Who is that his? That's the Alex, whatever. She's a podcaster? Wait, I don't understand the show. I thought they're paired with dancers. They are. These are the stars, but stars is a very loose term

because it's a reality television. Stars aren't going to do dancing with stars. You know why? They moved on their next star. They're just on the star. They don't make stars of the dance. The dancers are like the crew. Do you know why it's hard to get stars to be on the show?

Why? Because they're stars. They have other things to do than fucking make buffoons of themselves on evening television. This should be called dwindling stars dance. Falling with the stars? Yeah, falling with the stars or black hole, dancing with the black holes.

That's good. Oh, that's good. Okay, Crocodile-Hunter's son. Topanga. Now, is that, who is that? Topanga. From Boy Meets World. She's kind of cute.

Who is that? Yeah, I'm more of a Maitland Ward from Boy Meets World because she does aggressive Big Black Cock gang bangs. BBC. Jacob, you could change it to BBC if you want to put that in your notes. Big Black Cock is a,

BBC. We get it. Just, I'm saying for, what do you call this stuff? What do you call what's on the screens of the radios? Adjustments. Jacob. Jacob adjustments. What do you call the thing that's on the screen of the computer or the?

PDT? PDT? Yeah. So you could put that instead. The PDT? Yeah. PBC. Now the son of...

BBC. Big black cock. The son of the crocodile hunter is a little kooky too, bro. He's a little out there. Well, his father was murdered by a fish. Yeah That's a lot to talk about Is a stingray fish

Oh I don't know His body's fantastic So he's fine No that's not him That's Ephron's brother Oh Yeah Both their bodies are fantastic

They're doing fine I think is it possible The brother's better looking now Yeah Because Zach Efron's done Such weird stuff to his face He's actually a little taller And a little buffer

I would say A little thinner Someone said he's got Some facial surgery Zagarin Looks fucking crazy right now Yeah Yeah, like he went crazy with it.

He got to an accident. Did he? I got to an accident and his face was a little fucked up. But I think it's garbage. I think he's fine. I think Zach Efron right now. You think he just went nuts? The thing I saw, it looks like he's a different human being, but I don't know if that's real.

Was that for the wrestling movie, though? Yeah, I don't know if it's real. No, I think you've looked at him right there. Look up Zach Efron. That's him right there. That's Zach Efron. Oh, he does look different. Yeah.

Yeah, the Afro, he does look different. Oh, yeah, I thought he was a white guy this whole time. No, that's a... I got to watch more Zach Ephron stuff, I guess. What does Zach Ephron look like? The stars, the women that are doing that, you know what buckle fat removal is? No. There's a pocket of, everyone has it.

There's a pocket of fat in your cheek, and actresses are having it removed, and now their faces look like skeletal. Is that what... A lot of them have... I think Anya Taylor Joy got it done before and after there's like no going back from this well the Kardashian mom and Versace got a surgery this new surgery where it's actually they look great like there's a new surgery going around Hollywood right now it's like the fixing people it's it looks it looks Versace looks she looked like she was dying she looked like gray skull yeah and now she looks all right and the the Kardashian mom

was looking rough now it's like fixing it's like fixing it's like old shitty but yeah he's crazy looking that's right which one where is he all the way on the right yeah he's all three of them but now it's all the way on the right that's you know what that's from that's from steroids yeah yeah your head gets bigger it's becoming a caveman no your head gets bigger when you do when you do those roids anabolic your head gets bigger yeah you can see there's guys that do roids in their fucking facial their little head skull gets bigger yeah she looks It's good. Look it. From what she was? 100%.

It's crazy. Night and day better. I mean, who is the guy doing this? It's amazing. He should do everybody. Chris Angel. Now she looks like Mickey. She looks like Mickey Rock now. David Copperfield, I think.

Look at her. She looks great. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Cardashian mom. I'm going to get fucking fat pockets taken out of my cheeks and put my blood cheeks. You don't, though. You look sallow. That's how they all look now.

It's crazy. We have to get fat pockets taken out of our stomachs. stomachs before we get them taken out of our cheeks and i want them in my ass all in my ass dude i want to have the fattest ass in the world i want to have like an obnoxious ass where like you guys in this room would all say you'd fuck me if i didn't have that gross ass like a like a dj lou ass yeah yeah yeah i want a dj lou thomper dude you can go out there and just hit the dance for dude fucking break some glass tables you guys dance backwards together kid and play with our ass cheeks um this is a surgery jacob's talking about to fix your face surgery

No, that's a surgery I was talking about. You're going to look at the celebrity ones, but... Seems to have worked out phenomenal for all these people. On the regular people, when it just looks stupid. Is it worth it? I like that question. What's it called? Plastic surgery.

Buckle fat. Buckle fat pad removal. Oh. And you can't fix it afterward. You can't say, oh, I'm going to put the fat back. I look awful. Really? Once you take it out, that's it forever.

For real? Yeah. It does look good on some of those girls. That girl right there, what's her name? What's the brunette right there? She was in a bunch of shilly. Oh, they all say she's racist and mean. She looks good.

Leah Michelle, she looks creepy as shit, Bobby. That's actually the one example of it not looking good on this entire page of before and afters. She's the worst. Well, I say to each his own. Look at Anya Taylor Joy. Oh, God. Before and after. That's what you're going to call it.

She looks good. No, Chrissy Teigen. She looks good. She's a nitwit. Who's this? Bella Hadid. Her face has been like that for a while. That's like a teenager or an adult.

That fat pet out of your face. Fat face, bitch. Oh. You know what? I'm telling you it's dramatic. I take it back. Oh. That's the one.

Oh, that one's bad. I mean, she already had alien face. Who is that? I tell her joy. What is she from? Mars. what was she in what was the movie she was in uh she was in split she was in she's in a lot of movies where she's kept held captive for some reason people like to kidnap her and keep her in

rooms it happens in a lot of films i think zoie cravitz had it too which depression she was in the witch which blew keep going she has a lot of stuff oh the queen's gambit that's the thing i'm thinking that's not what you know her from it is no it is it's from it because i I stopped watching that because I thought it was a shitty movie, but it was actually a TV show. I thought they ended it weird. Keep going. There's something else know from.

Remember that? I was so mad. I was watching it. I was like, this sucks. Peaky blinders for this you might have watched. I found out there was eight more episodes, and I never watched it again. Glass. She was in Glass.

Split, apparently in the show Barry. Do you know what movie I watched that stinks? That made me sad? What? that new spike lee movie with denzel is one of the worst movies straight to apple well there's not straight to apple anymore apple makes movies you know Netflix streamers not good ones I mean heard about that which breaks my arc the original is I'm telling you right now this oh it's a high and low is a kira koresawa film oh it's of course

to shiro mafuni yeah Denzel I know that I'm saying for these fucking morons Denzel. I can't believe Denzel did it, brother. Mm-hmm. It is, you should watch it just to watch it. I'm a purist. I'm a true to the original. I can't.

It's called higher and lower. It's so bad. High and low, though, is the Keir-Kaksel. Who? Who is it in? Kerrigal. I'm sorry, what? I didn't hear you do.

My, hang on, let me turn up my headphones. Go ahead. What was it? What was the name? You got your headphones up? I got them up. Caragosel. I decided.

Lou, something wrong with my headphones because I'm pretty sure you're going to... Stop chewing. If you'd stop chewing, you could hear me. Everybody was just my fat lips. He doesn't like. No, dude, this movie, I love Denzel. I don't know if you like Denzel.

People think he stinks. Some people... Does anybody think he stinks? That's a rare opinion. I talked to Rachel and Billy Burr, trash Denzel. Yeah, but those are just people who they just do, I'll take devil's advocate argument. Contrarians.

Yeah. Just to go, just to say let's have a bicker. I love Denzel. I love him. I love all those movies. Equalizers were all very fun. A man on fire. Training Day. And I go back to, and a lot of people is going to date me, St. Elsewhere. I go back to RICOCHAY. I go back to RICOCHAY. That's after St. Elsewhere.

Deja Vu. Good movie. Great movie. How about Fallon, starring him and Elias Cotius. Good movie. Glory. I don't watch that shit. What the fuck? It's about the Civil War. I don't acknowledge the slaves freeing ever.

I mean, no, that's not what you want to say. The other way. I don't acknowledge it. I still don't see it as it happened. Every day I come in here, I see Black Lou and I go, I guess I go, no one's going to do anything about this. I go, does nobody know? He's walking around all here, all willy-nilly.

Don't give me a fuck about them. And DJ Louis, like, you know, he's on the day. Yeah, yeah. Jim comes in and I'm like, Jim, you see this over here in the corner and then there's a black guy. This movie, what did you say? This movie right now is so, it was sad to see Denzel. It was almost like he was let him improv this thing. And Spike Lee, buddy, he was doing this weird shit.

And then at the end of it, at the end of this movie, he battle raps. Denzel does. He battle raps. Finally. Spoil alert, the other kid. There's a kid who does something to Denzel. He's a music exec, black label. You don't know this, by the way, but that actually is how the original also ended with a battle rap.

Did it really? Yeah. I don't think it ended in a battle rap. because they would have cut that out of this one. No, no, no, no. They put that in the... You're right, though. It was a little more artsy because it was a Kirkcal.

Who is it? Kirkukkow. I'm sorry, what? Kirkagra-Gra-Row. Christine, can you bring up Denzel's battle rap at the end of the high and low? It was a stupid... It's... Fuck.

Dude, it's like this movie, and it's at the end of the movie, and it's this... It actually becomes an all right scene where they're going back and forth, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, they start battle rap. the criminal and Denzel King Kong ain't got

nothing on me Yo, I didn't know you like to get wet and I almost I just put my hands up in there like what the fuck what are you Denzel what are you doing

Jack Vaughn just told me it's atrocious he just watched it also it's terrible it's so bad you should watch it to watch how bad it is do you know what I mean like there's movies that suck I'd be like don't watch it

this movie you should watch just to see how far you get You guys hate black cinema No dude I'm a big fan of black cinema Actually I support Black cinema What your favorite black movies Dude favorite black movie

I'm gonna get you sucka It's a goody I just said I was gonna show Christine that's free on YouTube Anybody out there listening I'm gonna get you suck a classic So I showed her to the scene I know what it was

I was telling how Chris Rock has only been funny that one time That everybody wrote a special for him And then Jesus. Well, no, I was saying that at home. You just sit on the air. No, it's different, though.

I was telling you what I said at home, though. Pretty sure everybody's... No, but if he came up to me and asked me about it ever, I'd be like, give it, I said that at home. Wait a minute. You think his special, which one are you talking about? Bring the Pain. And he didn't write that.

That was, from the time I started comedy, it was always Louis C.K. and Wanda Sykes wrote that special. Real? I didn't know that. That's what I was always told. Are they credited? No. Oh. No writers were credited on Chappelle's show either.

It just said him and Neil Brennan. But people wrote, Kurt wrote. Serious. Huh? That's such a dick movie. Did you find that rap battle? No, I'm trying to get into Apple singing at the movie because I don't see it clicked. It's the end of the movie.

I love the way she says, end Apple. End. Yeah, this is, this makes me sad when a guy, he did a remake. When the money is so, I don't know, the money or whatever they're doing, whatever Spike Lee and him are doing. and I like Spike Lee movie too I love What's the last one you liked? I mean

Are you going back to like You know 25th hour crooklyn And shit like that I mean he hasn't made one A while but I did like his movies When he did them I liked this first one

That he did the inside man He did like a crime thing It was okay Inside man was great I thought that I thought that was okay But I think he He redid old boy

Which was an insane mistake You're taking one of the darkest freakiest subplot and main plot movies out of Korea and then trying to make it like a movie theater movie was they just couldn't do it He can't do it

But it wasn't he was great He was great in the movie I thought it was watchable Because I love the original The original is nuts Original's nuts and the ending of is like You gotta be kidding And they didn't redo things like that

The original old boy's got a scene in it That's a single shot Fight with him in about Five 50 guys with a hammer He just has a hammer And he's in a suit It's such a cool scene

It's awesome And he beats the shit of him They just don't recreate that He ate an actual live octopus In the movie He took a bite into a live octopus The movie They can't recreate that

In America You can't What? I like octopus That one died I got died I'm sure he ate A piece of it off of it

Jacob You never know what Jacob Oh is gonna be Jacob you know He's an octopus friend I don't know that Sensitive Oh you

Oh, you like octopus as pets. Oh, you don't like that? They'll crawl up. They'll shake your hand. Their tentacle will wrap around your hand and you can... I'm pretty sure he's not shaking your hand. I'm pretty sure he's testing to see. Yeah, he's trying to get you into a bottle so he can eat you.

Yeah. Oh, it's a tiny octopus. He's going to kill you. Well, this was a big one he ate. He just took a bite out of it. It's gross as hell. But it was a wild scene. So again, to try to, it's like lofty to try to recreate that.

Then we just watched Spike Lee, his three-part, Katrina documentary No good No it's all right I mean if he's trying to sell the point that New Orleans did not give a fuck about black people then he's got to be made a good point

he made a good argument for it pretty fucked up there's people they were like hey we've been in our roof for like three days straight like there's definitely helicopters that could handle this and they just left them there

he just left them there it was wild yeah was just people dying on roofs and shit A lot of people did, yeah. Wow. Some people did for sure. Now, did the black people, the black neighborhoods, do they get their neighborhoods back? Or did it get gentrified after that?

Gentrified. Did it? Yeah, most of them did not get their homes back. Wow. Not get their homes back, but did it go gentry? I mean, I think it's still like, I mean, a lot of people aren't going to buy there because it's still inside of a fucking bowl. It's like God's cereal bowl, that fucking thing.

It's crazy how they show like something else. watching how it's built it's like it's like water on each side and then new orleans goes like that so it's like anything over sea levels even like just goes pouring in but didn't they fix it i think they fixed it i don't know i don't remember led zepin making a song when the levee's fixed it seemed like when the levees break it's all haywire i don't know if that whole i i understand your point i just don't know if that's yeah but yeah maybe that's right when the levy's fixed black people gonna be fine It's crazy.

It's like the L.A. fires in Malibu and Palisades. It's like all those houses are going to be sucked up. A lot of those people can't afford to wait and rebuild. So rich people are going to buy that property, that beachfront property, is just going to go to the next millionaires. I'm going to blame you a little bit here because whether you like Spike Lee and Denzel or not, you have to know Denzel is cashing a check when it goes, Denzel Washington. and A-Sap Rocky in. That's crazy.

Denzel and ASAP, finally. Well, Denzel does something. It's like getting De Niro and Pacino together. How they afford that? Denzel does this thing now in movies that kind of bothers me where his upper, his bottom lip goes under his upper lip kind of crooked and he just... Okay, okay, okay, okay, but he has it the whole time. And it's like, dude, fix your lip, bro.

you're filming this. Okay. Like, is there anybody going, hey, dude, don't do that thing with your lip. Huh, okay, okay. You should get JD to call up. Out of stroke. Call up Denzel manager.

Fix your lip. Every movie, you're doing a fucking lip thing. Every fucking movie you're sucking your bottom lip into your upper lip and it's fucking bugging me. J.D., it appears your message has broken through. All right, all right. Is this the movie? Is it?

Yes. Okay. Please go to the end. All right. So, way to the end. Right here, right. Okay, a little, go a little further in. Well, Bobby, Ivan's just to set it up.

I'm going to look. Spoil alert if you haven't seen it. And there's no spoiler because you should, you should watch it just to watch how fucking awful it is. The end of the movie, this guy is a rapper. And Dengel is the music. mogul that blew him off at one point so this guy retaliates in some way and

at the end of the movie let's just say Denzel wins this kid's in jail but he's the biggest rapper in the world now like everybody wants him and he wants to go with Denzel's company like hey man I know we've been through this but right now

me and you this would blow the fucking world up and Denzel is like go fuck yourself because Denzel had a moment where it's like you know Denzel's a rapper. Yeah. He has this thing. All money ain't good money, son, that he says, which is very Denzel, right?

And they have this thing at the end where they... All money ain't good money? Yeah, they're good. Or they did they do good? It was good, actually. It was good. And I'm watching this. I'm like, okay, I got this.

This is the end of the movie. It's kind of interesting that this kid did all this crazy shit. He's in jail. He's successful from jail. And he still wants to work with Denzel. in my brain I'm like that'd be cool kind of if they did do it I don't know something and then they start rapping back and forth and I just I didn't know

I was walking around the room going I don't know who to call I don't know what to do right now like well I have a question Jacob what the fuck is high to low about if it's a remake yeah it's a remake about somebody I'll tell you this plot of the blackmail it's a basically this guy

his big music guy company's kind of going down I'm not worried about this I'm saying if it's rappers and this it's rapers doing rappers what's the original what are they Jacob is also I haven't seen in so long he's also a wealthy guy

and somebody is a but it's not set in the world of music at all no that's what I was kidnaps his kid got you for you know what I mean out of revenge for ignoring him or something like that right kidnaps the wrong

kid. So Denzel is confronted with the guy's like his friend. His friend's kid and his kid hang out together. They kidnapped the wrong kid. And he's confronted. He's like, all right, I'm going to pay the money for my kid. They find out it's not his kid. His kid comes home. They took

the other guy's kid. The other guy was like, yo man, can you still pay the 15.5? He's like, nah, son. Like, I don't know. It's not my kids. And he's confronted with this moment where he winds up paying the money for the other kid.

And blah, blah, blah, blah. $30 million he's she shelled out now? No, it's $15.5. Twice? No, just once. But the first time he was going to do it he thought it was for his kid. His kid came up, he's got to do it again.

So why do they battle wrap each other? Well, this kid, I'll just tell you the whole thing. The kid was a rapper, sent in his tape, and Denzel ignored it, blah, blah, blah. And this kid loved Denzel. He loved his, you know, him, his producer. MC Denzel. MC Denzel in the movie.

And he is, son. Joke alert. So he's like, fuck you. I'm going to, a kid wound up going to jail, blah, blah, blah. He came out. He's like, I'm going to take you for money. And he took his son.

Wasn't his son. It was the other guy. He says, fuck, you still pay me, bitch. I'm going to fucking murder this kid. He winds up paying it. The kid gets the money. And then goes back into the studio to make his album, right? He's just got kidnapped to help him?

And, well, Denzel and the other guy find out who the guy is. They actually do a little work, and they find out who he is, where he's at. Cops aren't going to do nothing. They go and do it, and they wind up, you know, catching this dude and getting the money back. Right. And putting this guy in jail. Why do they battle rap at the end of this movie? It's the question, dude.

It's crazy how much you've explained. There's no reason. sure but there's no reason for it that's what i'm saying they kidnapped the wrong guy 15.5 there's no reason for the battle rap at the end it's like they just threw this in there to to fucking battle i don't understand it like it doesn't it it has no value just an art piece in the middle it's a fucking say don't you remember that's one of my favorite funny things like spike lee's so on the nose he's so bad like innuendo in any way uh if you recall that movie patrice was in 25th hour yeah when that came out it was right on the heels of like 9-11

happened in the filming of that movie during it so there's the scene in the movie do you remember this at all in this movie uh barry whatever his name barry pepper and the other guys and edward norton they're all looking out uh they go meet up to somebody's apartment building and they're all looking outside and it's down the in financial districts so it's the whole you know it's like the the craters at the time that they were working on and then for no reason at all music picks up in the movie the music gets loud and then it just goes and does a full over minute of just showing the people working on like the 9-11 it's got nothing to do with the movie at all the movie's not about 9-11 or anything like that at all right they just show the workers working and just being like yeah also in the middle of this remember workers were working on that 9-11 thing doesn't anything do with any of the movie at all it's ridiculous first of all barry pepper has fallen off too no shit my god he went from a pretty good looking dude to Hattrocious. Yeah.

He's in a movie. Barry Pepper. His name should be Barry Bayleaves for the least amount he's used. Because pepper gets used a lot. Wow. Look at that. Because pepper is usually on a lot of things. Yeah, sir.

So pepper is in a lot. Well, Bayleaves, you have to put in and take out. So Bayleaves. Yeah. So it worked. No, yeah, right. It worked on two levels. It worked on two levels.

You guys weren't. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, he fell the fuck off, dude. He must have got his fat pad removed from his shirt. Geeks. Fuck me. Yeah, you got, he fell off, dude. God damn, dude.

So sad. Why is his mouth turning into an asshole? I didn't recognize him. He was in a really cool movie of the alligator movie Prey and he was the dead. And yeah, you didn't look great. I don't know if I've ever heard the term a really cool alligator movie. Um, Blake Placid, great alligator movie. Probably the best.

Probably the best alligator movie out there. Really cool. Unbelievably. Crawl. Yeah. Crawl. Yeah. Yeah. You want to see a good Alligator movie? Lake Placid. Great movie.

I don't. All right. Listen, we're going to take a break.