The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Mordor's Eye (feat. Rosebud Baker)

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Bobby feels betrayed by Comedy Cellar Liz and Rosebud Baker pours gas on the fire.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. O'Kersen. We're actually a full radio show on Serious XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of The Bonfire, you can listen on the Serious XM app. Go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kersen and Robert Kelly. Robert Kelly. Oh, today's top rock everybody. Series XM Faction 1.0. That's David Lee Roth taking a little solo trip there with his debut single Yankee Rose coming in at number 10 on the countdown.

I wish I would have done some version of that radio. No, you don't. No, I do. No, you don't. Well, that's gone now. Yeah, for a reason. No. That would be the best, dude, taking requests and stuff.

Well, it's not really gone. It's gone. Calta still doesn't. Is this thing playing music? No. He has to just talk, right? Yeah, he has to just talk. Yeah, so he doesn't do that. He did it at some point. Oh, you're talking about playing music? No. He has to just talk, right? Yeah, it's just talking. Yeah, so he doesn't do that. But you did it at some point.

Oh, you're talking about just music? Yes. Like coming in and talking, but going and throwing back to music. Like an old school DJ. Your conversation would have to have the theme to the next song in it. Of course. Like you have to build up to it. Like, hey man, it's a black day out there.

Like Joan Jett and the black carts. Give it up, everybody. Oh, hey man, it's a black day out there. Like Joan Jett and the black carts. Give it up, everybody. Oh, god. It's weird you said it was a black day out there and didn't say fell on black days. But OK. See, you'd be good at it.

Yeah. I mean, you said black day outside. I thought you were heading to that. I would play three songs. Stairway to Heaven's coming up next, everybody. You know it. You love it. Now I'm going to go take a shit for 15 minutes. Stare at Heavens coming up next everybody. You know it, you love it. Now I'm gonna go take a shit for 15 minutes.

Everybody, her new special whiskey fists available right now on YouTube. You can also see her on Verified Standup on Netflix as well as the new season of Life and Beth premiering February 16th on Hulu. It is the hilarious Rosebud Baker joining us. Hey Rosebud. Hi Jay, hi Bobby.

I think it's, can I just be honest right now? Sure. We had a little conversation beforehand. Hi Rosebud, how are you? I'm good. Good to see you. Good to see you too. I love Rosebud because Rosebud can wear colors that nobody can wear except for the Wayne's brothers.

I literally, I reached for this sweater and I was like, Bobby is gonna hate this. I actually love it. Oh Wayne's brother. Bobby's gonna fucking hate this sweater. Yeah she dresses like a fly girl. I love it. I really do love it. But you guys brought something up that kind of fucking makes me mad at Liz but makes me mad at you two too. But not just you, Colin Norton. The only one, and Liz said this to me,

the only one that was actually a friend of mine was Keith Robinson, who called me up and said, immediately that day, oh shit, Bobby's got a loud notification. He, it was from Liz. I'll read it in a sec. But she sent an, now I started years ago, two things at the seller.

The Super Bowl party and the Christmas party. And the comedy. No, that was Godfrey. Okay. Godfrey and Dane, I just came in after. What? Anyways, I started the Super Bowl party because the Patriots were just killing it, you know?

Let's have a party. And the Christmas party. I was sick of going to Gotham and Caroline's, right? Sure. I was like, we should, this is the salad we should have. And Liz took over and they go, sure, we'll do it in August. Exactly, she's, she has a lot on her plate.

And the Super Bowl party is kind of my thing that I, you know, me and Keith kind of put together, you know what I mean? Me mostly, but Liz of course does most of the work, of course. But then this year, you know, not even a mention of it. And then Keith calls me up, I think two days before or something like that yo dummy they're having a party and Liz said don't invite you but you know the party's on blah blah blah at blah you come it's not a good Keith or stroke impression yeah let's try it again let me try it again yo stupid you got you got a party

Is this good catch everyone? Oh, yeah, here you go I said hell no I ain't telling them that's good Rosebud you got one No, I don't. She's so white. I held half my face together. She tried to physically stroke herself. She tried to physically stroke myself. And then I was like, this is going to be slave voice. I can't do this. I can't do this.

Oh, we, Mrs. Seller, come here, sir. I'd love to be making up your fine super bowl. I know you started it, but now we're taking it over. I was like, think of your health insurance. So he called me and told me that and I was like, oh, shit, whatever. I didn't really, I didn't think any about it. I was just like, that's not, but it comes to find out until now. I didn't know that it was a real, I thought Keith was joking.

I thought Keith was kidding around about non-inviting. I thought he was actually the only friend going, apparently you, Colin, Norton, everybody got a text from Liz. Okay, can I just say? What does the text say? Before you say what you're going to say, what does her text say? I'll tell you. Great, thanks, Jay. It said Super Bowl Party on Sunday,

don't tell Bobby I'm serious. Can you? The one I have, let me tell you this, the one I have is going out to Ari Shafir, Krista Stefano, Syphus Sounds, Derek Gaines, Greg Stone, by the rest of them that I don't have their numbers. And it says, we are having a Super Bowl party on Sunday in the electric.

Send me the text. Can you send me a photo of that text? You know how to take a screen grab? You need an assistant to do it? No, I don't. Are you sure? No, I had an Asian friend when I was younger. Okay. And it says, don't tell Bobby I'm serious. You had a culture, right? It says, don't tell Bobby Kelly.

I am serious. Oh, you know how to airdrop, Jesus. I didn't, I just hit the picture of you and that's what it's doing. But it worked. I hope it's not my dick pic. Right, that's not it. Yeah, you cannot. It says please come with an exclamation point.

But you cannot in capitals tell Robert Kelly, dot, dot, dot. I am serious Derek Gaines immediately said okay. No problem. He has no problem betraying you think and then thanks Liz And then two numbers. I don't know And then Ari responded with I'll be with Bobby's son fucking his wife. That's our she fear. That's our fear If that was anybody else, I'd leave this. I to me. I know, I know. I quit. I'm gonna say this right now. I quit the bonfire. I quit.

I'd have to leave you because I'd go whoever the fuck it was, I would go and smash this skull in. Yes. With whatever metal thing I could find on the way to them. Right. Irish of fear, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

You're not Kobe Bryant, dude, you're fine. Anybody else, anybody. Colin Quinn, I'd fucking. Dude, you're fine. Anybody else. Anybody. Colin Quinn, I'd fucking. I know. Friendship over. Oh, not over. He'd be, I would fight him. I would not fight him.

Because the part of you submits to the idea that always got something wrong with him. No, he's, yeah, that's like. Yeah. If a mentally retarded kid was like, I'll fuck your wife. It'd be like, okay, okay. All right, get out of here, crazy wacko.

Go to Brazil and wear a dress or whatever the fuck you're doing right now. Here's what I'm saying to you two, because you're right here. And you guys are friends of mine. I care deeply about you. I love you too. Love you, dude. Love you back. Apparently not enough to tell me about... No, but...

Don't touch me. Apparently not enough about... You guys are fucking cattle. With Liz, Liz, who doesn't like either one of you that much. Can I make my point? One, she actually almost borderline infatuated with me, I'd say. Yeah.

Liz, she loves me very much. I, one, treated it as a joke. If I was going to the comedy sellers party, I would have told you that. I did not go to the party. I knew from the time she offered that I wasn't going, that I was just gonna hang at my house that night. So I knew I was going, so I went a little bit out of mind.

Rosebud went to the game. I went to the game. And chose not to tell you. No, no, no, I went to the game and I thought, because Liz was like, don't tell Bobby, and then I was like, why aren't we telling Bobby? And she was like as a joke and I was like, oh, okay I thought she was gonna like where does it say that show me that no I asked her in person

Oh, I go that changed because when she was just saying it she was doing this when she goes I said She said as a joke. She did texting Did you date? You're doing texty fingers you did texty fingers which is telling me you text it no you switched it up rosebud I watch a lot of I swear to God I swear to God I asked her rosebud I do a lot I watch a lot of interrogation videos in the weekends in my hotel rooms I gotta tell you a lot of red flags you're throwing up here have you dated Johnny

depth anytime in your life? Johnny Depp. Yeah, you're very similar to the other one. Rosebud, it's called, there's a thing, it's technical term, but now it's about your body's not doing this, your body's like one telling the truth. Telling a different story. Yes. Got it. It's called body language.

What's the text message that Lisa said? No, it's not just that. Can I see that? Yeah, sure. It's not just, no, go back. I didn't like that was swarmy it's not just called body language is called something else body language no it's the but the way they're having the opposite thing your body language is

opposite from what you're saying that's called something I'm gonna show you the text I did have I had concerns about the joke because I was like is this gonna be something where Bobby's told because I knew I was like if I go along with this Bobby's gonna get mad at me later and I knew that but I was like no I was disappointed I would not be mad if my I mean the fact that here's here we'll get into this let's just read this text message because I have something to say to both of you what yeah? Yeah, yes. Mu? C, we, whatever language you want to speak right now, nervous.

C-wee? C-wee? C-wee. Can I ask then Bobby, because maybe I missed the beginning, I was outside, so were you not invited? No. What was the, when were you revealed? Keith Robinson called me up a few days before and said, yeah, dummy.

Okay. Liz didn't want, told me not to invite you to the party. He's promised he'd call me up a few days before and say, yeah, dummy. Okay. Ladies didn't want, told me not to invite you to the party. Turn into a past singer, but okay. Yo, stupid. Okay, it's like Josh and Amir's had a stroke though, more of that one. Here's something.

This hurts. I don't know who this person is, which makes me sick. This is why I had a wife and a child so that someday I could not be around you guys. We are having a Super Bowl party on Sunday all of, please do not, please come. But capital letters dash, you cannot capital letters. Tell Robert Kelly. Dot, dot,. I wait. I'm getting to the end I'm doing context Jay. I'm sorry. Allow it LC Who's that? I don't know. What is it LC? I'm serious. That's that's Liz. Oh, okay. This is seller

Oh, Liz seller. You have it under seller. Okay, and then it says who's Robert Kelly? Who's that? I don't know. Let me see sure what cocksucker said that. Yeah, I have no idea. Oh, it's fine I don't know right now. Just text it say checks that person directly. Hey, this is Rose by who is this? So when did Liz reveal the joke to you never he hasn't it was a joke. She just wanted to keep Bobby out She texted me at the halftime. Where are you? No, ah Wow, just She texted me at the halftime, where are you? Uh-uh. Wow. She assumed somebody was going to blow it up.

Oh, so she did, she did eventually. Sunday, 6.55 p.m. Why aren't you at the olive tree? Come on. Come on. What's this, black lou? Black lou, you have something? Yes, Liz on What's this black little black will you have something? Yes, Liz on line one

And this is what Liz will do she'll come in hot with that Italian Roman Puerto Rican I bang black guys fucking filibusting anger right that's what she's gonna do Liz Hi, Liz. Nice to see you for the record before you get into it. You don't hate you don't you don't dislike me and Jay, right? No, I love both of you. No, Liz. First of all, can I say kept the complete secret by the way, on my end, Bobby never heard of this from me. No, you know, who is the rat Keith Robinson? Well, you, I you consider rat. I consider the friend

Yeah, the actual which which I would be like good news is only the left side of his head as a trader Nothing came out of the right. I mean, this is the sickest fucking joke I mean like are we going to the cellar? I mean, there's no party buddy. Yes. No max 100% you're gonna make Liz wet if you keep telling her how deep this went into your life destroying it Max went last year. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Oh max loves the most Yes, Liz literally when can I go see Liz? When can I go wait till max hears about this? Wait wait Here's a boy to Lee reads the text red hears about this. Wait till Max, wait till Max hears about,

wait till he reads the text read. If I could jump on your side here for a second, Liz. Bobby throws a lot of emotion on Max that he doesn't have. Bobby projects, Bobby projects his little boy, his internal little boy, and makes it Max. You know, I couldn't get Bobby, I don't know if you heard this big blow up Oh, I thought I was getting max and Bobby into this special pit area of a Metallica concert This is coming up and then we weren't

I wasn't able to get a sin. I was only able to get us phenomenal tickets Oh, no, no, no, this is why this is why no He took me and he broke my heart by going max Max pulled me aside and said, Daddy, it hurts. It hurts that we're not going in the snake pit right here. Because Uncle fucking Jay said, two months out, snake pit. You said it to him, snake pit, bro. You had him watching videos on YouTube about snake pit. He knew about the stage.

And then we have a guest. You have to let a guest in. Oh, you saw the guest. He was watching YouTube videos that Bobby looked up for him. No, not me. Not me. He looked up his own. We hung out with him.

And this fucker. Not use your child to protect your emotional weakness. You know what? You're wrong, because it's's my child have your own child And then you can use him Emotional weakness Max said to me Are we going to see Liz at the Super Bowl party and I said Max I don't think there's a Super Bowl party

I don't I don't and then I agreed I agreed to go to the other party that I was going because there was no Super Bowl party. I don't I don't and then I agreed I agreed to go to the other party That I was go because there was no Super Bowl party and then Keith calls me up a dummy. Liz told me not to die We're not gonna he said I'm not gonna have a Super Bowl party. You're not invited my god Liz Liz Liz this is unfolding in front of me too. Can I say something right now? What's happening? What?

Bobby, Bobby, as you, because you said there, you got, you got a little bowled over by Bobby there. But you said, Bobby, if that was, you never called me to check if we were doing something for the Super Bowl, which he didn't, because Bobby didn't want there to be a Super Bowl party to sell it because he wanted to go hang out with his old Ginzo's

and leave his family behind and go smoke cigars. Because he was told that he can't say, I hope you get paralyzed. Put your pink hat on and shut your face. I'll tell you right now. I swear to God, no. I know him a week, he's like, you coming to my house for Super Bowl and I was like, oh, there's no party at the cell. He goes, I don't No, I know him a week. He's like you're coming to my house for Super Bowl

And I was like, oh, there's no party at the cell. He goes, I don't know. I'm having Jiu-Jitsu over at Super Bowl. No, Harry does. So I'm like, all right, whatever. No, no information No anything on it. So I I had to find a space to go. So are you and my friends? You're my one of my you're in the circle. You're in you're not one of my friends. You're my family. Let me say this, not the circle. You're my family.

Can you call me? Can you ask me? You're depending on know them to give you information without you asking me. You're a text thread that says don't invite Bobby. No, no, it doesn says, don't invite Bobby. No, no, it doesn't say don't invite Bobby. It says don't tell Bob. Yeah. So if I, if I threw a fucking party

and I went to all your friends and I said, and don't tell Liz, first of all, none of them would fucking do that. Cause they'd fucking be on your side. Cause they had fucking traders. There's no way Jay or Rose by they'd be like I gotta tell Liz Liz I always want you there exactly same the fact that they all they all you I also I did remove Ha ha from Liz's text before I showed it to Bobby

I mean, fully honest. I mean, fully putting up courage on the table at this point. You know, I mean, we're being honest, I guess. Here's the deal. Liz, me and you started that party. We started it. Me and you. Me and you sat down at the fucking table. Right.

And we started it. We started podcasting the CQ room, the internet. What else? Social media. You all started social media. We started Instagram together. We know that. I started social media. Social media. Instagram. We know that I started. Party. Yeah. You know that. We did. Oh, he did. He did get credit for the holiday party completely. We I didn't go me and you me and you didn't talk about a when I said Gotham and all these other

places have holiday parties. Why aren't we having a holiday party and you went this is what you said. Holiday party at the fat black pussycat for every single year that I have worked there. I've been there longer than you. It's always been there seven months late. I've been there longer than you. Me and you sat down and I said, we're gonna have a holiday party.

I'm on it, I got it. You 100% and the Super Bowl party. Are you saying the Super Bowl party wasn't me and you saying we gotta do a Super Bowl party when the Pats were playing felt like a little bit of me when I brought those cheese sticks I mean I brought a lot of cheese sticks with a lot of people Yes I'm gonna back up Bobby we can say it together again Mike

I mean you lost everybody on that one why don't you bring up Ryan Hamilton too don't be mean what the fuck Liz here's the thing you didn't want me to come yeah and okay that's it I'm fine with that but you could just say that to me and I won't come I will never come to a fucking party at the cellar again. All right. Well, that's fine Yeah, fine. Had Keith not Told you we all would have called you at kickoff and said where are you? That's not yeah, but I live an hour away That's not fucking funny. I tell you to go fuck yourself. I know

Yeah, but I live an hour away. That's not fucking funny. I tell you to go fuck yourself. I know So I'll tell you now go fuck yourself. How's that you can go fuck yourself I don't know what what fucking menopausal switch happened to you where I'm on your shit list, but you can go fuck yourself No, not at all Oh, Bobby's feelings are hurt. No, not at all. Yeah, I'll say that. Bobby and Farron's Bobby's been catching it from everybody today, Jake and Gamelin's shit too. No, it has nothing to do with it.

Liz is one of my favorite people on earth. Me too. On earth. And she pulls this shit and it's fucking evil. And fuck her. That's why it's funny. She's an evil, yeah. When it happens to you, you can call me

and I'll fucking console you. It's not gonna be funny when it happens to me, but it's funny when it happens to you. Exactly. Exactly. When Liz is fucking evil, what's that tower in Lord of the Rings? What was that eye called? Mordor.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, when Mordor's eye focuses on you, we'll see how fun it is, Rosebud Baker. Well, the difference is you stayed with your wife and kid. I would drive my car into the olive tree if that happened. No, no. I would. I can't. I can't. I had, I can't. I'm not gonna go.

So fucking mad. No, you were at your gym so party. There's no way I'm gonna bring my kid in when they're gonna start fucking with their dad and then I might hit somebody with a fucking plate. You understand? They're all the plates for paper. They've got it.

I would've went in the kitchen. Bobby wanted to smoke cigars with fat Russians in a sauna all night watching the game. I mean, there you go. So, all right. Well, here's the thing too is that you took all my friends and Revealed their allegiance Exactly. Yeah rosebud. The only friend I have is an old black guy with two strokes handicap Yeah, it's a handicap. The only guy who couldn't really help you if the shit went down would only be a burden on the apocalypse. I mean, he's a burden now with all the amenities of life.

Escalators, elevators, fucking wheelchairs, all kinds of shit. They have bars to get on stage at the cellar. It sticks. They did. When we left the studio with him the other week, the show was over at 7 o'clock. We got him in a cab outside at 746. Oh, God. That's about right. They did. When we left the studio with them the other week, the show was over at 7 o'clock. We got them in a cab outside at 746. Oh, God. That's about right.

One elevator. All right. Well, there you go, Liz. I love you. I love you. Later. Apparently, you don't. I do the right thing.

You didn't. I stay out of sight around the cellar. So when I come, it's like thunder. So I don't have to worry about these kind of pranks being played on me. Did you just say when you come it's thunder? It shows up how it's like thunder. Not to have been to do with on the stage.

Yeah, I thought completely, that just went through. I dissociated for that whole. I'm not, this is nothing to do with, nothing to do with comedy. Whoa, Jay's here! Not you. With the thunder! Not even the waitresses.

The waitresses don't know me anymore. I'm not there at all. My point, when I come, no one's pulling pranks on me because it's a surprise that I'm even there. Oh, take away the thunder. You're just coming in. This wasn't a stage comment about thunder. This is a pure, when I show up, everyone's like,

I haven't seen you in forever. So no one's saying, please don't come, we're sick of seeing you. Yeah, so you come in like a light wind. Yes. I come in like a feather that blew in off of a bird. And people go, what was that? And then they look and you're there.

Wallah. And then they go back to their borscht. Wallah, thank you Liz. Thank you for the invite. You're welcome, I love you. I'm sorry Liz, I wasn't able to make it, but thank you for the invite. Yeah, you know what? Anytime, love you. Exactly, exactly. I mean, just you Liz. Liz, I love you. Thank you for the invite. I'm sorry, Liz, I wasn't able to make it, but thank you for the invite. Yeah, you know what?

Exactly. Exactly. I mean, just fucking evil. She's evil. Bobby, I should have called you. I should have called you. Yeah, 100 percent. But here's the thing.

Liz, I knew I was coming on here. I knew I was coming on here this week, and I was like, if I tell Bobby, that's not really as fun as if I don't tell Bobby, and then he has something to yell at me about. Well, I don't wanna yell at you, Rose, but I'm not yelling at you. I swear to God, I don't wanna yell.

I'm not DJ Lou and I'm not Jacob. I wanna be in the middle. He's a sick baby right now. Her baby's under the weather. Yeah, because of the bad mojo she puts in the world. Maybe it's your fault. Yeah, it's your fault. He's using my kit now.

Maybe your negative vibes towards humans that care about you. You ever hear about that? You ever think about that? No, that it's your fault. He's using my kid now. Maybe your negative vibes towards humans that care about you. You ever hear about that? You ever think about that? No, that's not my fault. We have to put some handles in the back of these children so you can hold them like shields. Yeah.

Liz, let me tell you something about Liz. She's one of the evilest people on the earth. Yeah, you have to respect it. And I've been there so many times when it's her evil Mordor of eye, whatever it is, is faced on somebody else. And it's hilarious. But when it turns on you.

It's probably rough. Yeah. It's also, like I said, she the gift she has. And it's funny when like a civilian has, it's not a comic. It really also, I guess, is a boss quality that I don't have at all. It doesn't bother her if you go, hey, you know like all these people here don't like you?

She'd be like, who gives a fuck? She means it. She means it. If you told me all these people, I'd go, well, what can I call them and tell them? Like, whatever, you're misunderstanding me, I promise. You're misunderstanding. She's like, I'll give them two shits.

She would tell Max to go fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's an evil person. I mean, she got all the comedy community. The guy I do a show with four days a week. I mean, I thought we came together in the last year. Like I'm closer to Jay. Hey, I love you, dude.

Yeah. I don't know about that. No, I do. I think you- But you're right. I kept this one. It's like a good old haunted moment. I mean, we talked every day.

Bobby, I know you were looking for any excuse to get away from your family and watch that game with men and smoke cigars. You didn't want to go to the cellar. I did. You did. I would have. You didn't. You didn't want your son.

You would have been so mad. First of all, you wouldn't want Max saying something crazy when the, inevitably the black table of comedians is loud and weird and just gonna start asking, he goes, is that how they always, are they always like that? Max's best friends are black. Yeah, but not that kind of, they're not that black yet.

No, not Westchester, dude. They smoke him in basketball. He's gonna see some city blacks. Dude, he's black black. Yeah, but that's because they have extra bones in their ankle. That's not the thing. Do you even listen to sports, dude? I can't do this. Jimmy the Greek said this. Stop. Stop. Listen. Do you think if you told Max about this Liz joke, he would think it was funny? Max would probably be hurt. I would never tell him. Oh yeah, we all know

what is sensitive. No Max. It hurts here, Papa. I'm going to go call kid in school a cunt. Papa, let me tell you something. You on that thing to go back to the snake pit, not to bring it back up because you did not your SAP, you, you, you really hyped it up for two months. It'll be sure you hyped up the snake pit. And then when it didn't happen, he, I, he, I didn't hype it up to Max. Yeah, it'll be neat, sure. You hyped up the snake pit thing? And then when it didn't happen, he... Well, I didn't hype it up to Max. No, you did.

I didn't see Max. Yeah, you did. We were in the car together. On the way to the show. No, before that, we were together in a car. You were with him before that, where we were talking about snake pit shit. And he was so hyped up about it. And then when we got there and we didn't get it, as a 10-year-old,

I don't give a fuck. I don't care if we fucking sit on the rafters. I don't give a shit. I'm tired. Good seats. I have no great, no great seats. I think better seats for me, great seats. I plant a fasciitis in a bad knee.

Also for max better seats turned out. Well, but when you hate that point, it's because you make it and you, in your universe, you're right. But in the real universe that we live in, the rest of us, you're wrong. Because they weren't better seats, because if we did get snake pit, he would have had what he wanted as a 10-year-old. He would have been in there and complained to you immediately that he can't see. No, that's not true.

Why? He complained about not being able to see on the other side of the same exact thing, the same distance. We got down to the floor, the snake pit, the stage. Yeah, but Jay, you gotta think from a 10 year old. No, he's thinking from a 48 year old boy. If you're a 10 year old boy.

I had a child, I understand that. I'm saying, I'm not saying that he didn't want to go in the snake pit Bobby is see Bobby sees When he's seeing a regular boy talking Bobby sees big cartoon eyes going like For life listen, I watched this guy This kid was so rude to 15 people in the parking lot. So mean the people. And then we go inside, Bobby's like,

he's butterfly, I flashes. He's what he got. He said, he grabbed me. I said, the guy said, all right, we got you, we're going. And J, we're gonna go down here and then go into this net. And we're like, okay, it's happening. We're going in. And he's building and building for two weeks.

And then we get down, come to the floor and then the guy disappears. There's no, we're not going, we are going. It's happening. No, there was an hour not. Okay, so we get down there and then I had to say to him at some point when we found out we're not during the break or whatever,

something we were gonna go before. I said, it's not gonna happen, buddy, but these seats are great. These are awesome seats and we go on the floor if you want blah blah blah and he just took me aside and said dad I'm okay I get it this what he said I get it I understand but it hurts that we're not getting into this you just made a new acting choice Bobby and I said look at me Rosebud you took it you took that Don't don't interrupt my

He went like this he went dad This is crazy this is fucking crazy I'm gonna finish he said Dad he said dad. Can I talk to you? We're all together outside. Malatalk was coming. Dad, can I talk to you for a second? Sure, buddy. I go, yeah. Dad, I understand. I know we're not going to get it.

I understand, but we're not going in the snake pit. And he goes, the seats are fine. The seats are cool. I love the seats. They're good. I understand. But it hurts. And he went like this.

And he pointed here. How you pointed to his heart? He took three fingers, he went like this and he pointed here He took three fingers three fingers like this and he went here little build a bear He went it hurts here, and I then he goes. I don't know what to do And I went and I went Putty it hurt I understand the pain and it hurts and you're gonna be disappointed in life, and that's the sucky part of life Yeah, we got great seats. I go, Uncle Jay really hooked us up with great seats. And I go, I go, I don't want you to make Jay. He goes, I don't want to make Jay feel bad. I love the seats. I just

want to, I just don't know what to do. It hurts. Not Jay. No, he didn't blame Jay at all. He just didn't understand it. It didn't make sense. And he literally said, I love, he goes, I. Jay. Jay looks like he just lost the divorce settlement. And this is the guy that held the didn't let me, now he doesn't let me go to the max go to the cellar party. It hurts. It hurts here, papa.

Fifty minutes earlier, a lady goes, Hi, I like your vest, and he went, EW, not talking to you, and walked away from her. Did you see her? Did you see her? She was a lovely mother cooking on a grill for her family tailgating. With five different colored hair and a nipple hanging out.

Our nipple was not hanging, you're making all this up. It was a sweet lady who goes, Hey, I like your vest. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there was a grandmother in the Metallica parking lot cooking up pies No, not those grandmothers You not talking to you hey little boy He just goes max you don't do that Hey little boy, would you like a pumpkin pie or apple pie? That wasn't it was some crazy broad with a fucking

Metal vest not even sort of crazy. Yeah, this lady was over there everyone She had the people that were tailgating there very nice people. She was a whore She was a whore and max has instincts and good. He's not around whores. Oh you old whore She was trying to molest him. I broke his heart and gave him fantastic view seats. They were great seats. But let me explain this to you. You can't like it. It hits you that you can't.

The concert is in the middle of the stadium. Yeah. It's a circle stage. Oh, but listen. If you, I get what, how the concert works. I get what the snake pit is and where you guys were. If you told my kid that we were going in a snake pit and she didn't get the snake pit is and where you guys were if you told my kid that we were going in a snake pit and She didn't get the snake pit. I would still I would I'd be like

You let her down But would they be my max wasn't max was not let down by J But what would be down by the the experience? I don't care even so that's if we were if we were down by J I don't care. Even so, that's if we were let down by Jay. If we were in the if we were if we were in the if we were in the

if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the

if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the

if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the if we were in the middle quote unquote from Jay Jay is it going to be hard for him to see in the snake pit no dude it's not even that bad i didn't see wood in this it's going to be great in the snake pit he'll be fine it's awesome there's plenty of room he'll see will be you're right in the middle quote unquote now all of a sudden he wouldn't be able to see no because we went here did you hear it he wouldn't have liked it anyways he wouldn't have liked it anyways because he wouldn't be able to see as opposed to the week before dude You find it's gonna be awesome the snake pit you can see everything I didn't realize that he wouldn't be able to see a stage that close when we did that on the other side of the stage

He said dad we can't see and you were like me and Max are gonna go up to the seat seats because he can't see it all So that's what would have happened. You took me further away. We think it we had seats At like the 50 yard line, which were great seats. Okay. They were awesome. We had seats in the bowl. And Max said, great seats, I know. I don't blame Jay. No one said that, no one said anything about great seats.

I just heard the hurt. He said, he said, great seats. Kali Ma. Kali Ma. Rosebud, what do you got coming out? I'm going on tour starting in May. I don't, that's it. Hell yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. Are you calling it something? I don't know yet. It's the hardest part. I know. Do you name it or do you just go do it? I just feel like a tool whenever I come up with a name for.

It's also difficult with comedy because I think we all think feel tour is like when a band or something or someone goes out and they don't come home. When you're home every Monday it's weird to go on a tour. It's my other job. That's some comic some fucking ego con my tour and then we just followed suit. It's not you're you're going out on the road. I'm going on the road. Yeah. Just call it that. On the road. I'm going on the road starting I'm doing Moontower, yeah. Just call it that, on the road. I'm going on the road, starting, I'm doing Moontower in April, and then I'm doing, and then in,

end of May through September, I'll be on the road. You have a special, right? And I have a special that is not quite done yet. I have a special that's like coming out, I'm not sure when, but I shot half of it pregnant, and I'm shooting half of it a year after I've had a kid. That's great.

Combining the two. I mean, you bounce back fast. Yeah, I did. Were you nervous about that? Were you checking? I was really nervous about it, Bobby. Holy shit. Oh, you mean her stomach.

Yeah, I looked like, I was. As McCoy goes, what the fuck are you checking? Wow, still tight, tight like it never happened. Ah! Okay Rose, but squeezed up never happened. Ah! Ah! You're gay Rose, but squeezed up to here. I know! Kiggle.

Still squeezing, this thin. I know! I'm holding her upside down like a popsicle. It was crazy though, I put on so much fucking weight. I started at 116, I ended at 170. The last time I weighed myself I was 170 pounds. I was like, Jesus Christ, there's no fucking way. I was like, it's over.

It's over. You were all belly. No, I wasn't. I didn't feel like you, I mean, I was with you the other time on the tour. Don't lie directly to my face. I looked horrible. I wasn't like a glowing pregnant woman.

I was a fucking, I was a was a fucking I also saw you like done up at show like what we did the birth right your tour and stuff I disagree I thought you look great pregnant yeah well agree to disagree then cuz it was rough it was rough I thought Andy looked bad when you were pregnant and he's having a hard time snapping yeah he He is. He's not dropping the weight. The snapbacks have a little bit difficult. He's getting fatter every day. We'll let Rosebud get out of here.

Rosebud Baker special whiskey fists available on YouTube. You can also see again on Verified stand up on Netflix, as well as the new season of Life and Beth, premiering Friday, February 16th on Hulu, everybody. Hilarious, hilarious. I haven't watched, Christine's watched, watched the first season, said she loved it, Life and Beth, I gotta watch it.

Yeah. I heard it tells hilarious, so it tells me right there. Jay and me are gonna be at the Paramount in Huntington, March 21st, 8 p.m., we need you to get on and get those tickets, tickets still available. I think we sold out over half of it already. Nice.

Robert Kelly live, Big J comedy live. This is your guys walk on music, right? Yeah, this is us. Let me do a whole thing with our feet. We'll be right back to say goodbye. Thank you, Rosebud for hanging out. Thanks, guys. We'll catch you.

Thank you. Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash Bombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robertkellylive.com to check out our stand updates coming to a city near you. Crackle, crackle, crackle.