The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Mr Hands (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Ari Shaffir returns for a recap of recent Bonfire drama.

And it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Yes, yes, y'all. Bonfire coming at you. Non-stop rock. It's tripping on the whole in a paper heart.

Stone type of pilot's coming at you. We're bringing you all your favorite rock hits from yesterday and today. On Faction Talk. 103-333-333. We're coming in with Manitori Metallica here. Action talk, 103, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 I just don't like the program directors. That's who gets all involved right now. You have to play these songs boo They make you they make you yeah, there's like this someone no, it's like a it's like a booker It's like an SD at the comedy Sower you lower that it's like a booker at the uh and any comedy club It's like the the important safe feel that they get it like I book it this I'm the my strove how it goes the order. Yeah, you know, I mean

Hey, this one's fucked I Yeah, pick this is it yeah, just in out in out Christ oh Christ don't think it's calling the agent guy stares at everything Although we have guest in the studio campers came in studio to watch the show. They use Howard's wig hair It's why are for this show wig are he is not a wig not the show. I use Howard's wig hair as well. There's a wire for the show. Not a wig, Ari. It's not a wig.

It's not a wig. I heard it was a wig for many threads. It is not a wig. You don't say that King Howard is not wig. No, no. God wouldn't pull a hair off that beautiful head. He'd never. Every million years.

You shut your mouth. I picked that song for a reason to that. Yeah, what is that? I know that song. Who is it? Now what happened to them? I have not seen a reunion tour from them. Oh, well, they're currently on tour. Oh, that's lame Yeah, while they did it what's hilarious is Scott Wyland was their guy he died Yeah, it was right when they started I think to get back together and then they got Chester Beddington from Lincoln Park to take his place and then he jerked himself off to death from a door knob. And then now it's just some guy, we just probably the better move, just get a guy. Just started a new band.

I guess. Just guys. Yeah, but not really. Maybe you want to hear those songs. Let them play it and they're new like. You saw the, they saw the black guy with the Alzen chains. Can't argue that's a good show.

Can't argue with that. Good show. Get impressionist is a good idea. Yeah, I'm saying this. I saw Johnny. I saw over here at Mass Square Garden. We saw that band. They're always fighting and fucking over the years.

Flew a Mac. Flew a Mac and they didn't't have the one guy wasn't there. Yeah. So they had a really high level bassist or whatever. Well, are you. I mean, it was the guy from Crowded House. Okay, great. He played his song.

Yeah. These guys can still play their songs in their new bands. Oh, understood. Yeah. Hey, now, hey, now, he did play that. And pretty exciting. Right when I was starting to miss Lindsey Buckingham, the most, yeah, he whipped out, hey, now, hey, now, you know, I'm like, now, you know, what that's cool. Hey, Jay, how much is forgiven? All. Wow, that's the most you can be forgiven.

All was forgiven. Wow. But I was listening to that Stone to a Pilot song today in the shower. I really had a good laugh at myself because I smoked a little weed before I got in the shower and with reckless abandon. I was frontmaning in that shower and I decided in my frontman at least today with the music I was picking. I'm going to go with Chris Robinson, Scott Wile and Flamboyant, like, I hold the mic in a weird way maybe, and I do a lot of-

Those like Gufa or nothing, and- There was no, no, all air. Okay. All air, but my, I mean, my hands and my peacock feathers behind me, I did this. It's a, it's a, a jaggery, but like, not as old manny as it is. Yeah. Or like, we're like, you know, rooster pecking.

It was definitely a little more, a little more sizzle on it, like a Chris Robinson, you know what I mean? Like a groove, a real groovy. Wow. Yeah. That's shower effect. I know you're in the shower now, so I didn't really. Yeah, I'm in the shower currently right now, and then put that song on Lou also. Who would mind? Take us there. If you would mind. You're doing great. You sexed up the shower. Yeah. If I sexed it up, well what's really funny was, this is even weird, because now I'm thinking about it as I got out of the shower. And when I got dressed, I was like, oh maybe I'll show everybody the moves I was doing

in the shower, because I do feel like they were good moves and they look pretty sexy. But I was fully clothed when I looked at myself doing it. Did it naked in the shower? Obviously, out of the shower enclosed, looking at myself in the mirror, did not like the way I looked at all doing it, and thought, man, I must have looked really bad in the shower. Shut everything down inside of me emotionally

about becoming this guy. I just know that if I was gonna become this guy, it would be for sure a peacocky, wild and Chris Robinson type. This is from the guy who sits in a stool. He sits in a stool and had to come out of his special with his giant special effects behind him two specials of the girls and just all he had to do was raise his hands like, yep, and all he could do was, yeah.

Hey, you know, in the place of this, imagine enthusiasm. But dude, if I was kicking some sour girl. No, you could do it. You could do it. Who'd be the best rock star comics? Actual rock stars? No, just who could imagine they had a good voice, but they don't have to have a good voice.

But like if they were gifted with a good voice in a backing band. Dane Cook. Dane, I think Joe Liss would be way up there. Oh, you know what? Different human being when he gets behind that. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being.

Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being.

Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being.

Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human being. Yeah. Different human Is this my gone? I don't know and he just jams like I Where am I? I feel in the same. Yeah, that's a jam now he does Dancing in the dark. Yeah, that's always when he does and he kills it kills it He used it in the entire relationship again. Yeah, he's doing like the dance. Yeah, hey Just sit ahead and the lane dance off at a minor league stadium. Yeah He had an Elaine dance off at a minor league stadium. No, really? At least all these people had a like,

to do their weird dance. Dancing in a dark dust rule. Dancing in a dark rules, you know what, really getting a new wave, 80s new wave. Who? Crowded house. Didn't you think Mountain? No, Crowded House was.

Five minutes ago on this conversation. Big mountain. Big country. Big country. I don't know a lot of the band names. It's not the biv- Vives is way more important than names or title. I've long COVID. I like a lot of 80s new wave though while it's great Yeah, and I love those songs great in a conversation. We both agree sounds like an agreement. It's a great podcast Yeah, it's very fun. Yeah, that it runs Yeah, it's very fun that it runs

Or the way there's always a voice not this guy so much, but also him too put on song by ABC ABC I just found a record of them. Yeah, because that's that's the voice when they all went That's They do one thing at the very end too. They're like I haven't gone for it all song as on the fade out though They do one thing at the very end too, they're like I haven't gone for it all song as on the fade out They'll go you yeah Throw some twisted yeah Wang Chung Yeah, yeah These are all goodies are you put on ABC? Look a love bro. If you're gonna pick one big country and Wang Chung both songs about their name with a band true

Hold you'll hear it with the voice. When you need some bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, Tenderness a general public. That's a great one. ABC put out an album called Alphabet City. It was written in their time living and working in Alphabet City. That's not true. The liner notes.

There's no liner notes you saw for that. I did, I bought the album. I saw it at $2 album. Okay. And it was recorded in Alphabet City. And the back. And by liner notes, I mean the back Yeah, this was the first album

I had to look it up This is all lies This is all lies Oh yeah, the Holocaust happened Alphabets City album, blah blah blah Who's out They were inspired by Alphab of Manhattan, New York, damn it Wait a second Christine go see if look of love is on their very first album

Somebody hang on hold up Avenue a is they wind out though. That's the best part of the song We're mind like ten seconds five more seconds The answer to that question Those lyrics think Keep going down. What's their first album? What's that not it?

Well, no. I would say no. Martin Fry. Both these guys, later, got hella into house music and dance music, because they thought that was the future of gay music. You're the right. Yeah, they were right. They became unknown, but very big in that world.

No. Yeah. Now the dance world. Not it. Pop. Live. Shows. Now.

Now you're going too far. ABC is not still regularly touring. Separately. Both got into. Oh, really? Yeah. So which one? ABC is sitting.

Who's still going? This is their first album, Luxicon of Love. Fuck you. Jay-O accept not an apology now. I think you need time to sit on it. Realize that occasionally even the Loki can tell the truth. Damn, the look of love is on this album 17 time of part one, part four, expected by the end of the week. I apologize. You're gonna have to sit on it, really, really, okay.

You went from the heart, I'm from the heart. Why don't like that? I like being the music info guy. But it makes me only better, I will regurgis this to somebody else with fury that they question me. I'm shocked, I knew that much. Jay, you got schooled by Ari. Okay, I just got Aried. I'm just I knew that much

Okay, I just got arried I'm just getting people jade That's is you're like you're no you're wrong. It wasn't like I didn't know that he's schooled you on music knowledge I know well fucking are he lives with mischievous face His resting mischievous face so he's like he's like that's the facts He is resting the sheevious face. So he's like, he's like, that's the facts. Will you buy it or not? Are you buying what I'm selling? So I take my shoes off of it. Durand, Durand.

Yeah, you didn't know them too. I was a bit into them. I had dated a girl who was, you had dated one of the guys. That's not true. Later. Look it up in the liner notes. Later. Later had to call the fire department on a suicide attempt. This is an LA. This is an LA. That's, oh, yeah. Oh, that's, that's LA. No, I tell you what I was thinking I was like, you dated like a where would you be? I mean, oh, LA is a place where somebody could have dated to Randoran.

Yeah, they're there, they're living there. I'm sure. Yeah, either you're gonna just stay in fucking England. Nobody wants to be rich in England, except Jimmy Gar. Jimmy Carter even want to be. Yeah, he does. He bought a castle with a functioning Starbucks in it. If you're buying a castle, you're like,

the first question is, what's the insulation like? Drafty, I've heard bad things about drafts and these. I'll be honest, I'd have to have, I was gonna live in a castle, I'd have to have a family of 20 before I would feel comfortable. You can have a secret family, both in that castle. I'm okay with that too, yeah. He goes, hey, I'm just gonna go into my study

and then I pull a book and it just turns me into a different family thing. I put on a sweater, both of them. I have both families, I've been, why do you spend so much time in the stables? Shut up. Oh, guys, gotta hit the stable. Sorry, everybody going to bed.

All right, I'll be in the stables, but if you need to be, you can pull a rope. Turns back around. Damn, I love this idea. No one can take this. Copywriting, hobo copywriting. Christine, what are you looking up? Jimmy Carter's castle.

Do you see a meme? I saw a meme to go up to that first one. Is that his? I think so. For a new Hello magazine. I said, you gotta trust Hello. I trust the black reportings. I think they broke the Princess Star story.

I saw a meme that said what you thought as a kid, a million dollars would get you and as a picture of that house. And it's like what you actually get now for a million dollars. It's like a tiny condo. Yeah, oh gee, I know. Yeah, really? So this is, oh, that isn't an impressive exterior. Let's take a walk through it.

That's not a castle. It's a castle looking, but it's a modern house. In fairness, I was told it was a castle. Yeah, it's got a crane behind them. I mean, you want to kill yourself every day. You get a crane shot. This might be his actual week to week house and not his vacation care. It might be his commoner house.

This might be where he does me. Yeah, this is what he does for his day job in the city. Crash is here. This is where I go to write jokes about your mother. Oh, this house is just to store my clipboards. I fucking Jimmy Carr is so hilarious. I love that he went from like, basically you'd think of like uptight clean comedy. Yeah. Oh really?

No, I'm saying when he was like, not clean, but I mean, Jimmy was always like edgy, but it wasn't necessarily dirty. And then he goes and does like the nasty shows in Montreal. He just wants to experience it like right. He just wants to write filthy shit. It's so funny. It's so funny that he's like, let me lean into this for a week.

Yeah, a week, I'll just do a week of being the next. So funny. Yeah, she's got it. It's funny too when I went to Danny Brown's concert. A week or two ago. I love them and the people around him, oh my God, I said, peer 17. Yeah, and listen, it's not my genre.

Raps just not my genre. Did it as if I managed to have full two, explaining the story, I was like, by the way, I say, Piers 17. Yeah, and listen, it's not my genre. Raps just not my genre. Did it as if I've finished 7 full 2 explaining the story. I was like, by the way, no offense, it's just not my genre. And so everyone else is like, it's Kenny Brear. And I'm like, I would be like that if this were my genre. He's just a guy that I saw a video of once. So I could be normal.

Same thing with Jimmy Carr. We're walking in Montreal, he's getting stopped every two minutes. I'm like, are you big? He's like, oh getting stopped every two minutes. I'm like, are you big? He's like, oh, I passed big along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh. You don't know the thing. Yeah, internationally.

Oh, yeah. I'm not a just found out now, because I could not have been cool around you. Yeah, I think Jimmy could play at the O2 arena by himself and stuff like that out there. I think he's just rented out to jerk off in. He's very wealthy. I love that.

He exercises and suits. That's how Richie is. Not those microsync suits. Jimmy Carr, you just got Jade. It's so funny. I'm working on a new thing, if you notice. What do you want? It's your sound effect for that. When you get, when you, when someone gets Jade, can I suggest something? Yeah. Pulling a sheet, unsheathing a sword. Let's just try it out. OK. Let's get that. I'm just going to figure out how to spell on sheath.

Let's hear it. You just got to do it. Well, I want to hear this unsheathing. Ready? Yeah. OK. I got it now Now the first one was better that's a hit it. We want to know anything Yeah, that juicy ones good yeah,, that's me hot. You just got Jade. This is complicated. Now, it's not a lot of time. I'm leaving the show.

It's a work in progress. It's a work on a new thing. I hope you want to stick us in the back of the car. Trying to get maybe an Air Force endorsement. You just got Jade. Yeah. Tell that. Yo, hey, Syria, you just got Jade. You know what? Maybe I think of this. How about a Patriot missiles flying course soaring through the air and hitting something? Okay. This is how I get it to become a big time indoors. I'm looking, I remember Gator Dunn became like, the air forces are one of the things, like they're actual. Really?

Yeah. I got her, Erdon. Yeah, they got her done. You know, I heard a story about, a layer of the cable guy, he was on the plane golf with somebody, story track so far, it's true. And somebody goes,

at some country club belongs to, and he goes, some guy from an opposite hole goes, Hey Larry, get it on. He's like, get it on. You know, he's a nice guy. Sure. And somebody's like,

you hear that a lot? I was like, man, a fire, a nickel for every time I heard that. Oh, I do. That's why I'm at this country club. Yeah, I like people don't look down. And I've always said that about John Popper. John Popper said he would play, run around.

If someone handed him a harmonica on the street or just sit on the street to me It's man. I love that song. Will you play it right now? He'll just I'll just do it because it got me everything Wow, he owes that song. Yeah, like he doesn't have that you know some people are like Yeah, why do you want to hear Paradise City again like Clinton roses. Yeah, I'm a paradise city man. You got my missile sound like Clinton roses, you're like, it's Paradise City, man. You got my missile sound? I don't know.

It takes a lot of effort for that one. Like I got to study it. No, I like it. Let's, I like the pause. Hang on, so now it's a real thing, ready? You just got Jade. Eh, I don't know. I like the whole thing.

I'm gonna add it on after this. It goes, oh man, you just got Jade. Eh. Everyone, please. Don't want to get away from out of your jade. That's all. Well now everyone's a real moment, you know what I mean? You do one more. Well now everyone's a real moment, you know what I mean?

I'll do one more you little jerk off. Oh you just got Jade You feel like doagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean?

I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? You know what I mean? I mean it feels like, do an hoagie up top? Actually, Lou, how about this? I like it sounding like when you fire the hoagie gun that's, and then the sound of the missile

like it's firing a missile. The hoagie is the missile. The hoagie is the missile. The explosion is taste. You know what I'm saying? So wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait You know what I'm saying? So wait, wait, I have to do a thing first. What did he get? Oh, he first. I like this. I like this.

Oh, he gun first, ready? I like this. V-neck? Personally. Oh, now I was gonna hit Christine with one. Oh, okay. Nice sweater, Christine. Does that come with three cats?

Yo, you just got Jade. Uh. Lou? I don't like what you're doing. You're playing with the timing of it. I am not touching the timing of it. That was way faster. Tell me what you want. Tell me how it should go. I tell someone they just got Jade and already I'll come back around that shirt.

Okay. And then... I'm worried about it. You just got Jade, metal fingers, and hoagie gun, and then the entire travel of the missile. Okay. I got it. You got this a lot of hoagie. You wouldn't hear the sound of the shot. Hill's been hoagie. This is my favorite thing. Alright nice shirt, who gave it to you? Your uncle banner, Jerry. Oh, you just got Jade. Ehh!

F***! F***! F***! We perfected it. Wow. I considered killing myself there. Right. Yeah.

Catch on. Yeah, you batted around you. Is it better just to not move on? And then it goes away. It does settles and then you're like, oh, that was just just a good rib, just a good jab right there. Then that was good. I'm glad we're all laughing together because it's been an awkward few. You have to bond fire. Yeah, kind of guess. There's been some interdrama. Whoa, what do you mean group? Oh, I know what Bobby Kelly negotiated his salary per pound and now that he's lost weight He's not kind of paid nearly as much. He's worried because he's down to $13 a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Why did he do those contract weigh-ins so early? He assumed he would go up and wait and then he had Driesd's surgery to go down and wait. I forgot to sign my contract dude. I gotta get to the doctor. No, I'll tell you what it will. It's gone a couple different ways. Okay. Blame has shifted I'd almost say from whom to whom. Oh, it's been a tennis match between Jacob and Lou. What? I mean, we settled all this. Oh. I feel like yesterday, it took on a whole new level. Did it? Oh, it did.

When last you joined us. It's just that when last you joined us. When last you joined us. Jacob and Lou were coming off of a pretty vicious fight where Jacob didn't show up on time because of no fault of his own. It was commuter issues. Train stopped for two and a half hours. Jacob, is that true? You're lying. You could tell me now. What train was it? The end train from Astoria. Believe him. I tell you why I believe him because he was presenting on that day. His brothers, his brothers, new flavors of campaign campaign wine company.

Can I take his brother's company of canned sparkling rosé? Oh, do you have any? brought them several upstairs Jake I mean I'm Jake Jacob can I ask you a question please and be honest Will you lay because you got drunk off those cans of wine and mr. Trayon? I just had to ask the wine was here due diligence Yeah, the wine was here and if you want to rip a few buddy. I'm down with you Yeah, yeah, get them bitches on ice you pause one second with him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, get them bitches on ice. Let me pause one second. This music is getting me in a tense mood to the point where I realize this has been used in every movie to cover up really not great writing. Sure. Yeah. Well,

it's this drama isn't crazy. It's the guy. I feel like oh fuck. It's the young and the restless music. It's designed for that. Yeah. They're restless and they shouldn't be because they're so young. Yeah, they're young and why are they so restless? Oh, two things. So, Jacob was like, he wanted to present campaign and we were talking about it a little bit before he got here, which he, no editorial in this, he did not enjoy that. He didn't like that at all and he came in hot. Who didn't like what. He didn't like that at all and he came in hot. Who didn't like what?

Jacob didn't like that we were discussing campaign at all before he got here. He wanted to really present it in a very organized fashion. And then the MTA fucked you up. Then the MTA fucked him over. Uh, DJ Liu got the brunt of all this. Even though nobody drank the campaign, uh, or really over-discussed it. Jacob was in a bad mood. He lashed at it, Lou.

It was aggressive, Lou came back. We walked out of here Wednesday. Who knew what was gonna happen? Who knew? What a cliffhanger. And then we came back yesterday. We had Justin Silver and Studio. We discussed this.

These guys have already talked. They made up, they were fine. And then... Conversation. Conversation. Conversation. Conversation came up at some point, because Lou said, Justin made a joke about Lou doing something gay and Lou goes, well, that's another story.

I...I had to go this weekend with my girlfriend to Fire Island. What part, as gay Justin? Yeah to which Lou replies the gay part We had to go there and then he said his girlfriend made him go there as Some sort of a test and then didn't want us to talk about it at all again And then when we did it was where's Jacob's anger coming to this? I don't see how the Jacob's not involved in this one It's triggered the fire Island because Lou told her what happened and she said, I can't believe Jacob did that to you. We're going to fire island. Yeah. It was a detox. Yeah. That was

what he needed to get rid of this. So lovely that a Rose is brought all this on. Oh yeah. It is. It really is. It's kind of perfect., Lou spent some time at a gay beach and watched gay guys walk around naked and fat women and then he went home that night and then we were just like, well, we were just asking questions like, well, what was the thing like, hey, let's go do this thing today. Like, situation come up. Yeah. And Lou, he unplugged his microphone for the... I don't want to talk about it.

No. I don't want to talk. Which, I mean, only sells more than I think you got gay raped on a beach because that was a... I wouldn't want to talk about that. Everyone's severely overreacting in this place. Well, not if you add in the detail you just said, then they're not okay. Okay, Lou, yesterday I have no problem with how you behaved if you got gang raped on fire. I'll...

Look, can I ask you an unrelated question? Sure. How long does this happen? Okay. How long does this last? It's Saturday. Okay, so unrelated unrelated question is, how's your buttocks today? Oh, but I think this is fine.

Okay. Well today sitting, I'll tell you what, yesterday, Oh, yeah, yesterday, stood the entire show. Interesting. And I'm thinking it's because you had a sore bone and he was waiting for the last quarter of it to go back in. Yeah, and the entire show. Interesting. And I'm thinking it's because he had a sore bone. He was waiting for the last quarter of it to go back in. Yeah, and the drippings. In 16 years, I've never seen a more unprofessional.

He's the, he's the board operator, DJ Supreme pulled out the microphone cord. What? That, that, that, that angry. I just had a nut. And then once again, said he might leave. Listen, I quit smoking cigarettes. He did and it's really bothering me when I get stressed out I got no release so I just wanted to fucking you know, I don't know I'm okay beach and smoke a bunch. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. That's a normal reaction to quitting cigarettes

Sure, did that sounds sarcastic. Yes, I did right. I didn't mean it say sarcastic at all. I really didn't. It mischievous face. I really as in rubber reaction. Fuck came up so comfy. I didn't mean to light weight anyway. I believe do. I know what you meant. Okay. I get it too. Yeah. It's just when it happens, the two times Lou has really lashed out yet to be in the room yesterday. And the other time was two times that he quit smoking and both of them Well, the first one was just telling that he had a really great ass for a man He I mean became unnaturally furious at us And almost walked out and then what you wanted to say you had a supreme ass. No, don't don't talk like that. It's fine

It's fine to leave a little man. I was on chant expect then and you know What is that the things make you quit smoking all suicidal? Killed Ray Leota. Oh, sorry. I was thinking I was thinking specs They do look good I'm muffin top in it my neck Ray the yours dead.ley, what was that? Yeah. You know that?

You got killed by a cocaine bear. Do you even have a TV? It was that we talked about as a button. He got furious as and then yesterday just inquiring questions about like I just wanted to like interview the situation. What made you go there? What's it like there? Did you get like actually hit on by God? And he was just like,

I fucking touched it. I wasn't like that. I didn't throw, I mean, I was pretty childish, but I didn't throw a fit. You what? I guess you have to define this. You were yelling. You were yelling and screaming.

It was the definition of fit. At one point we had to cut you off because you said I don't like gays. You're like, let's go to a break. I was like, if me, the meanest stop loom bit, loom bit, loom bit, loom bit. Hey, hey, it's not true. On air, on air.

That's not true. That is not true. I don't know what to tell you. I love gays. I love gays. I don't like them. Maybe you didn't like those guys. And we were just asking why, and it really, I mean, it's been a rough couple in here.

Bobby missed yesterday, and he's missing today. But detention is palpable. You feel it right? Yeah. Yeah. So Bobby the calming effect on his podcast. I mean, this radio show, sorry, Paul. Just so they took all his love away with him So it took love with them

Wow, that's gonna hurt Bobby here. You said that I'm voting you you said yes Yeah, he took the internal family love with them somehow Jake even Lou we're thinking about getting a place together and Now look at them They were thinking about getting a place and just And now look at them. They were thinking about getting a place and just getting away from all this bullshit. Wow. It's so you fought back.

You stood up for yourself. Yeah. Black Lewis, if you were at home though, it's been compelling radio, am I correct? Absolutely right. Maybe you had a calming effect. No, he was the puppet master that I should have taken it out on

Black what you mean Jacob. Yeah, black. Why would you say something? He was telling us to drink to drink the campaign to go or oh while Jacob was waiting to come in on the end trying to take some of the heat off of black Blue in Jacob's eyes and Jacob I Hear your argument completely so you don't have to correct me again. I just don't fully understand why we couldn't have like drinks all of it and that's better than the agreement of contention. Yeah, why couldn't they drink it while not talking about it? Yeah, I can still work. I've been a disservice. It couldn't. It was a new product I wanted to promote it. The guys let it drink it. You make it all on

all. And then later on fast forward, he wished cancer on me and was happy that my lungs don't work right. Oh, you just got Jacob. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Last thing I heard before I went into the finally the tunnel and the train was Lewis going do it And then my my cut off and I didn't I saw I was losing my mind No, but I never heard him say stuff also like we got this campaign here on the floor and I didn't want to mention I didn't open it well, but he also brought ice that was starting. He was trying to like, I'm saying. Get a cold. I said, don't mention it. And it was mentioned. So why do we have to? You started. I just want you to understand the domino effect with your Rage of Campaign, which sent Lou into a tizzy, which actually drove him to a

gay beach. Your attitude with what you took with him. It drove him right to a gay beach. And then Christ knows whatever happened there that sent him home all kinds of bunched up. Real spiral. And it's been a real spiral. And now this is where we find ourselves now. Lou, how many times can I say I'm sorry for sending you the fire island? Say you're sorry for what happened on fire island, Jacob.

You're part. Or whatever happened to you on fire island. I'm sorry. You're part in the parting of the Black Sea. I was always going to fire island. I didn't retreat there in a fun little getaway. That's not how you made it sound. Yeah, that's not how you made it.

Whatever. You had these gay plans for months? So it wasn't. It was a big as fault at all there. I have a written in my phone, gay island. I was surprised put everything on. What do you guys, when you got going this week and he goes tentatively gay island, but I don't know if you've made because he

loved it or he hated it. They get down, but sometimes it's too hard those guys. Yeah. It's too clubby early on. But you got to see Julie Newmore perform. Oh, the fuck her name was. Cheater Rivera. Cheater Rivera. Chara. We knew Mark. Chara. Cheater. You got to see Rita Rudd there perform live.

Yeah, he went to gay Island and watched that Cheater Rivera, who was in West Side Story back in the 50s. The original Anita. She's in the 90s. She's 90 years old. And she performed. I don't know. I didn't get let in.

What you couldn't see because the guys balls from your eyes. You get it because they're 69ing. So there's balls in his eyes. But you are on a beat in the day. You just got Jade. Give me the whole thing, Lou. Have it ready.

I've got all day to do all this. You just got jade Lou Structure I love it so much. Oh shit. It's so long. It's so time consuming. It's a lot of work for that. I like it's one street new people into it and they'll go, once they hear the thunk, they're knocking out and I'm gonna,

please, please, please, please, if you would, if you would, if you would, my, so anyway, I'll tell you about my, trying to smuggle kids out of those. If you could, if you could, wait, what? You wouldn't please, so a missile coming. Oh. God damn it. That's what.

Damn, that's good. That should be all of our promos. No, it's better. Damn, lose Hayden. Oh, I like it, but... He's mad at me. I don't love it. That's good.

Who's pissed at me? It's not gonna catch on. It's not as hot as a fire island weekend. It's not gonna catch on. You don't think? Uh-oh. Do you genuinely don't believe it? It's not as hot as fire Island weekend. Oh, it's done. We get catch on you don't think Oh, do you genuinely don't believe it? It's too much. It got me here. I got you come hard That you're wrong. It'll catch Remember we used to play all I do is win all the time

Remember that button you made me hit forever people loved it. Where's it now? We don't do that. We don't win anymore No, no, no good point. I don't know. Let's hit it. It's a terrible point You're a radio fan for a long time right now. You just taking out your gay rape is it now we don it for a couple weeks a couple months and then you comes back once in a while and then it kind of goes away those things happen that's what I'm saying I'm just I just don't think this has the staying power of all I do is win you don't think this has the staying power of all I do is win. You don't think? You're a victim, it's not your fault, Lou. And they say that Cause all I do is leave, leave, leave, leave And if you go in here, put your hands to your hand And you say that You know, I don't know if it's a long one, damn

Lil, I don't know if you know this What is that? But right in the middle on that breakdown When the music dropped out You got Jade Ehh EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE So stupid. You don't have to tell us what happens on gay islands, stays on gay islands. You're anal fragility.

You dig your teeth. It's illegitimate. I know you didn't get it right. Did you just like fool around? No, wait. Where was Cheater Bariloo that you were on the beach? Where was she performing that you couldn't get in? She was in.

She was in. She was just rim-jumped. I got butt cheeks in this face. I don't know. Some chateau I couldn't get in. You know, he's over with a brocci. We just rimmed up. A guy butt cheeks in his face. I don't know. Some chateau I couldn't get into. That mean all if he does anything from this I'm sorry. You have to get away from me. I stand by it.

That you didn't do anything gay? No, you're gay, get away from me. Well, you should have said that there that day. I did. Do you have to go back ever? I don't think I have to. I don't think it's allowed. If you just sit out in the beach going, your gay get away from me. Yeah, I get mad at you. You're in a bad list. If your girlfriend says you're going back to Fire Island, you're going back. Right? It's Fire Island just for gays or gays and families. Lewis girlfriend makes them do gay activities,

like specifically. Really? Yeah, I don't mean like gay, like, let's go apple picking and go, your girl, it's not a gay activity. That's just like a couple of you know, it's pretty gay. What do you know what I mean? What are you like, live dancing?

No, no, no, I mean like, she's like, oh, let's go to like, they're doing best man's asshole tonight over at a fucking La Poche on Rouge. And then for some reason, Luz got to go. He was the gay parade, waving fucking, holding up like, Hulk and Mania fingers that were all rainbow and true. How was it that you got out of going to Pride this year, but you couldn't get out of gay

Island? I don't know. Like, was that the deal? All right, if we don't go to Pride, we got to go get, she's like, I need to be around flamboyant gays. You have no flamboyant and it's lacking in a relationship. I didn't expect this when I hooked up with you See do don't make me still your girlfriend Lou when I show her how I dance in the shower Oh Scott Wile and peacocks

um You can't put your foot down on too many not gay things. She has a lot of gay friends that would it is? Not even. She just likes to be involved with gay stuff. I don't know. This always turns gay, dude. Really? What's next? You're gonna go to an AIDS clinic and bring stuff to animals for people, hmm? That's right. That's right, gay AIDS patients. Gades patients you just got Jade It's only picking up steam for me We do seven,000 shows a year. This one's got a lot of like a bomb explosions. I mean, stuff.

Set me up. You guys just set me up to just tee off these getting jade. Oh my Christ. Oh my sweet Lord. What time is it? Oh, it's flying. It's flying as always. We have a lot of fun stuff.

I wanted to get your guys opinionary. Did you see, we talked about it on Skanks a little last night but that fight or Dylan Danis, speaking to people fighting and being should do each other. Uh huh. Dylan Danis is a good jujitsu guy. Yeah.

And he's fighting, he's doing a celebrity boxing thing with, or whatever, real boxing I guess, with Logan Paul. Yeah. In a couple of months and his shit talk on his Twitter, if you go to it on Twitter, Christine or X is what is, he just, I guess his fiance, Nina Agdal, who has great push. She, um, she poses new to a lot. She's fucked or been with his, or dated. Or dated on it.

No. A thousand people just like around LA and Hollywood and the guy this guy just keeps his whole feed. It's just posting pictures of her with other dudes. He does that. Oh, he has to do it. He's no, so he's posting that's Photoshopped for sure. Wait, so he's so his opponent Logan Paul's opponent is going like, yo, your chick is fucked everybody and I'm just gonna keep posting pictures of her with all these other dudes Wow, that's funny. It's funny, but it's like he's going for it. Yeah, I mean you gotta stick with it Yeah, it's pretty just that's it. Just pictures of her

I went to keep con John Stewart by his real name. He's like Jewish name. Oh really? Yeah, and every time John Stewart's like you did this and he goes Sure, my words. Whatever his name was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did this and he goes, sure, myrwits, whatever his name was, and he's like, what's that supposed to mean? He's like, whatever wants to mean myrwits. He doesn't have to do it. It'd be a fury to him. Oh, I love that. Yeah, a little funny.

She's sure. I should gourd this. Well, you know what, she doesn't have a bit of an ant face. Yeah, where does? Yeah, never mind. I want to do a YouTube series. Maybe it'll be involved in being a guest where we just take the most incredibly hot women and shit on their looks. Buddy, it's

my greatest skill in the world. So fun. It's my greatest skill. I am particularly phenomenal at it. Really? Yeah, because it's the self-defense mechanism I've had since I was a child. She ain't gonna fuck me, so let me tell you why I wouldn't fuck her exactly even though I would I'd forgive all these things No, you wouldn't but I wouldn't That's right It says they finally reacts what they say Logan Paul's finally reacted to it. He's dying is here a different shade of blood and protest Thank you Christine read through it. Make sure no one says anything dirty.

Thank you. Is it custom? Please. Oh, yeah. Wow. You can say so many curse words. They're so happy with serious or serious. Whatever it was at first was like, you can cuss here.

But like, no way. Well, it was funny. You start, remember how it's turned at one point, making like an on air kind of speech about dialing back the cursing so much because he was right just audibly the show went from having no curse they were so excited to curse yeah it's like this fucking guy came over to my fucking house the other day talking all this fucking shit is like okay okay okay that's too many fuckins oh he's trying to get a fight with Conor McGregor Logan Paul on Dylan Dan is trolling Nina Agdol you've resorted to attacking a woman no wonder your friends with Conor McGregor

Logan Paul launched the head of Dylan Dan this is birthday cake at him It's not a celif celebrate though, for sure. But I gotta say, I really feel like Logan Paul genuinely doesn't like this. Doesn't, I don't think it's like, hey, let's agree to like, we're gonna go hard. I'm sure that happens a lot more than I think.

I love when you guys make a little bit of fake controversy. You see it in roast battle sometimes, like let's do this and then some will go to a level that first guy didn't consider. Like, oh, whoa dude. Yeah, he says say anything like, yeah, but damn. You just, you just doxed my daughter. Yeah, bro.

Oh, what? I thought. You just, did you just sign off her, my parental rights to somebody else? Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, dude. You fine? You enter means means the presidential race What does it say that's just his only response? Yeah, I'm looking to see if there's more stuff out

It's just tough to get behind these fights when you know they're not the best boxers This is like local Paul boxing fights at WNBA, but that's almost the beauty of it I think whether so good at promoting is like they make you care about a fight of like Not the best skilled people in the world because they've sold a fight. Yeah, like most good models. The good models. Christine said the thing we watched that, Christine watched the uh with me, the untold on Jake Paul and he partnered up with like the former like one of the main guys in

UFC. Mm-hmm. The CFO. Yeah, the CFO of UFC and he like got behind his thing. He that's just a guy on the inside. They probably knew like that's why So it's why you can watch a full Card of UFC what from prelims to thing if you have really nothing going on people come over So prelims because they do a little package on the smallest shittiest fight Yeah, and tell you what what each guy's fighting for. Even just that comes down to,

they're both sort of boring, but one literally came to this country and, you know, it's like a crit, you're like, how that guy, man, let's see that guy do it. Like, my mom has three payments away from under a truck. If I win this fight, I can't help with that last payment. I always thought I would, get behind me. And now, you matters to you for some reason.

You know, I mean, they know how to build a story. And when you watch undercard of boxing, there's no packages for those people. They're just like, fantastic. It's like watching Saturday morning wrestling. That's why Alice made it so good. You don't have to see a package like that, but we'll get into something wild for you.

Yeah, yeah, but like everyone's gonna be wearing a dog collar. Six on one, six on one. What, six on one's not a thing. Yeah, and shot collar or even the outs. Yeah, no, it's fantastic. It gets a smart team to do. So I think those guys like I'd rather I'll give them the money instead of watching a a free like contender series HBO boxing night so yep don't even make me watch boxing matches but I don't I barely watch that at all

anymore it's so boring yeah I've boxing is so completely. I've gone to see completely. Yeah, I'd rather watch fucking mr. Hands again That's the guy who got fucked by the horse. It is There's not an actual video. There's not a video of that happening. Yes, there is no What's it? I saw a guy getting fucked by a horse. Yeah, that's come on. I got getting fuck You know, and that was a guy was like oh, and then that's a guy they fucked by a horse. Yeah, you see that? Oh, that's, come on. A guy getting fucked. You see that? No, and that was a guy who's like, oh, and then that's the guy that dropped off for the hospital to die.

Yeah, I thought, you don't see him die. No, you don't see him die. He becomes dislodged. What's your reference here? Mr. Hans was a video early internet before the regulations came in, where anything went. And there was a guy, a documentary on him, right? Yep.

What, Lou, he paid to, he paid to go to this farm, where I guess, I wanna say gay guys, but that's not gay. What's that? I mean, is gay? It's interspecies gay? Yeah, it's not gay with another speech, good point, Jay. Yeah. I know a lot about AIDS with another speaker point, Jay. Yeah.

I love a lot about AIDS. What it is, though, is... Walker. Wrongs? But I'll tell you what, fucking a dog feels really wrong. Getting fucked by a horse while wrong feels like you're hurting yourself for more than anything.

The horse is not like, come on, he got off. Yeah, the horse goes to bed that night, doesn't even think anything about it. He's supposed to cigarette, because he's got a few. Oh, that was cool. I got some people pussy That was neat. I'm almost had never mountain nothing I'm gonna be pussy cuz the people pussy tonight knocked around you

I'm not gonna be the fastest mayor, but I fuck some people pussy How many of you how many of your horse friends can say they fuck some people pussy? How many can say that sure I lots of Kentucky Derby but You got some people pussy you wouldn't be motivated with People pussy good Because the time pussy horse pussy be loose compared to people pussy One of the way this guy paid to go to this farm where you can have horses fuck you watching state had a looser But but looser

for sure laws on a Fucking animals and the guy there's a video and there's a video apparently it's it is him It's a guy and the way it happens is I mean the horse is just like they don't have hands or more You know opposable thumbs. Yeah, so they just put their hooves up next to you. And somehow with some force, get their huge boners, just lined up outside of your hole, and full force burying it all the way.

Yeah, he gets a white line up. He gets a white line up. Babies with horses, not people. Yeah, he gets it like just to the edge. And they can't guide their hand in like we can. No. So they just kind of like It's like hoof on a on a wall

A wall and then he just kind of like gets it lined up and then just goes just gets a tip tip tip Everything all at once and that guy makes a noise it says like Outside shot you knocked my organs up into my throat and then consider this. Yeah, I didn't because the game of thrones level torture. But let the horse finish. Yeah. What? Let's just show it. You thought you wouldn't you thought you didn't let the horse finish? That would have been fucked up. I just got a light head from that. Is that what from what clapping? Just no. Yeah.

It is the memory of its hands. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbomb fire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcommy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo author. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you.