The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - My Father's Son

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

Bobby attends a concert by the great Stephen Wilson Jr. and quickly finds out that he is too old to stand for that long. To add to his agitation, a man in the audience gets into his wife Dawn's personal space. | As a favor, Bob does comedy at a French pizza parlor in New Jersey. Christine is there to support him as an angry waiter ruins his closing bit. | Jay finds a recording of his early stand-up and is willing to play it for the crew! The Bonfire returns live on Monday! Crackle Crackle! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. You ain't got the man in me. It's a band I wish I would have seen in their prime. Yeah. Speaking of bands in their prime, I went last night. Lou got me tickets, serious, got me tickets to see Stephen Wilson, Jr. Thank you, Liam. Thank you, Liam.

You're the best. But I realized I'm just too old for general admission floor seats standing. Really? I went with Dawn and Max And we got there too early We went to eat There's a my favorite Taco place is over right in Portchester

Bar Taco bar taco taco It's amazing So we went early because you know Dawn we should go to get dinner first And then get you know we'll be right there Okay so we went and got dinner It was great and then but we were super early So we walked over

And we got into the venue early Which was good because it's generally admission standing floor so we kind of got fifth row but i knew people it was going to get packed and then we got there a half hour early then the opening act went on which was just just an old lady old country lady and another dude in the guitar they came in sang into two microphones she was amazing voice was great but it was a boring it was just you know i got a 12 year old that you know you know i I mean, my wife. Did Max yell out show your cans to the old lady?

Max was so tired by this point halfway through her set that he sat on the floor. Wow. And I'm like, and I'm like, get up. Get up. And she's like, just leave him on the floor. And I'm like, you don't understand, honey. Everybody that walks by him or maybe kicks him or somebody's like, what the fuck you're doing on the floor? He doesn't look like a 12-year.

He looks like a guy sitting on the fucking floor. And when I'm out with Dawn and Max, I'm in German Shepherd mode. Yeah, it looks like he's drunk, too. Yeah, I'm like, I'm fuck, I'm protective mode. When I'm with you, I'm not in protective mode. I'm in more relaxed mode. That's funny. I'm protective mode over you.

Yeah, but I'm not worried about it. I don't have to. I worry about you. I don't have to protect you is what I'm saying. I have to protect you. You don't, you don't. You don't. I feel you live in constant fear of the world.

I am in constant fear of the world, especially when I'm with Dawn and Max, that somebody's going to fuck with him. At Stephen Wilson, Jr., you got to be a real next level psycho to lose your shit at that show. So she goes on, so I'm like, great. Now it's, it's, okay, perfect. Seven o'clock, seven 30. He's coming on. They did a half hour before he came on.

So now we just... Who did? Nobody. She went on at seven, got off at seven 30, then we had to wait until eight. So Stephen came on. Yeah, but there was no set change. They came out with a guitar.

Okay. There was no, it was, the whole set was prepared. He has a band? He has a band. Okay. So everything was done, but was bugging the fuck out of me. There was a tech guy.

that was walking around doing things that could have been done at 3.30. Or at least when the old lady and the guy were out there. Dude, anything. All the stuff he was doing was stuff that should, like, he was putting, like, getting gaffer tape and taping stuff. And then he was just like coming out. He came out with the guitar once. Then he came out eight more times with the guitar.

It's like, dude, get it done. And then he just kept walking very nonchon. salon, back and forth, looking around at everything. And you're waiting for him to give like a thumbs up that never came. So that was a half hour of just... But I promise you, whatever it is, that's time. That's like set time. Why he was nonchalance because he knows Stephen Wilson's not going on until whenever he came out.

They keep that all. That's like, that's pretty... I know from going around with those bands, it's a big deal, the time starting. Well, I didn't know it started. If I knew he came on at 8, which I should have found out, I would have got there a little later. Well, nobody wants to go on before 8 as a headliner. It just seems like a weird time.

You're going on 7.30. People aren't here, like, they're not ready for a nighttime thing yet. Yeah, I know. 8 o'clock. I don't care about that. My feet, my plantapaceitis was fucking killing. I'll admit, they didn't take that into consideration. Then my, it was thoughtless.

Don't forget, my knee started, like, swelling up and my cramp. My calf was cramping. Then Max was so tired. He's leaning on both me and Dawn. He's 185-pound kid. and I'm like, I don't want to be like, hey man, can you get off me? Because he's tired. At one point I was like, dude, you got to give me a break.

You got to get off me. It's like, my leg is killing me. And then finally, Stephen comes out. And he is live, fucking amazing. Got energy. He reminded me of Eddie Vedder. That's the energy he comes out with. Like, as soon as he walks out...

Wrote a bunch of political bullshit on his arm. He didn't do any of that shit. He was... He didn't do that. He had this hair in his face and look he was annoyed to be there. No, not that. Oh, that's what he better does. He does that now.

He does not do that, and you saw him not do that. Not now, but he used to come out like this. Yes, back when you were doing wigger comedy, Eddie did do that. Magic's just attacking you right now. Y'all ready? Yo, let's keep a roller. I still do most of my comedy's wiggery. So he came out.

Yo, what up, girl. You see a girl with some fine-ass tit-haye. That's what I'm talking about He came out and was fucking awesome Running around His speeches in between were like Short and Bekul You know what I mean?

From Palestine Alright let's go No no no None of that shit Sorry let's go Israel No none of that shit either Of a nuke Iran He gave a beautiful speech about his father

When he was on the road When he died And he actually said goodbye to him On his cell phone on FaceTime And he said he said I love you I love you. I love you.

I love you. Four times, which I thought was cool. And then he was amazing. He was great. The show was great. The band was great. Everybody was great.

And my dad said to me, before I died, I'll never make him proud. And he called me gay. Anyway, this next song's about him. Your daddy was like, yo, man,

why don't you stop acting black? My dad told me on Comic View and told me I needed a manager and I should consider him. I swear to God. And then you had to tell him that he did he was already your manager. Not yet.

Not yet he wasn't. But I wasn't ready to go to the Gary O'Kerson, the Gary O'Kerson agency. So then I'm sitting there and it started, it was all packed up by the time he came on. And then Dawn, Dawn goes, she kind of has a face. Like, she kind of like, what the fuck? I go, what's wrong? She goes, this guy is breathing on the back of my neck. And I look and there was a guy literally leaned in, like almost looked like he was.

sniffing Don's hair. So I step right in front of him. Start jerking off. Into his face. Okay. And I go, Don, take my spot. Just get over here. It was fucking weird.

So I just get in front of his face. I go, like I'm talking to Don, but you're in his face? I go, you got a problem, Don? Is everything good, Dawn? And I'm in his face. And he's looking at me like, what? And then I just go, step over here. And then I stepped in front of him.

and I was hoping that he would... There you go. I was hoping that he would breathe on the back of my neck because I was so hot and dehydrated. He was like, ooh, God, this guy's got something, huh? Sexy motherfucker. So then I'm sitting there and he's behind me

and there was that tension of, you know, that moment of... I kind of got in his face. Like, what are you doing? You fucking weirdo? And then he taps me on the shoulder. He taps me on the shoulder and he goes, hey man,

I hope there wasn't a problem. My dad just died. And Stephen Wilson, Jr. was singing my father's son. And he points down to his leg and he just had some knee surgery. He had a full, like a full brace on his knee. And he was kind of just leaning in because he was sad. And the song was hitting him so bad. He didn't realize he was leaning into it so close.

He's like, my dad just died. And he almost started crying. And I think he was a little. Zesty too. He's like my dad just died. And my knee, I just had knee surgery. And I just, you know, I'm sorry if there was a problem. And I was like, and you just hear Stephen Wilson singing about, my dad.

Father's dying. That's weird. So I just, I lost your daddy. I just hugged him. I just grabbed him and hugged him. And I was like, yeah, man, it's cool. Don't worry about it. And I just, I go, here, sit, stand next to my wife. You want a French kiss? I go here. You can have her for a little while.

Oh, dude. Dude, Lou, slowing down the fucking Rocky song as your story's falling to pieces is so fucking hilarious. I hope people listening to that at home heard. He goes, da-da-dun-d-dun-d-jian. So then the guys,

the guy's all teared up and shit. I felt like shit that I kind of got into his face. And he wasn't a tough guy. He was just this little, little zesty guy that was sad that his dad died this week and he had knee surgery. And the song was hitting him so hard that he was just almost crying into Don's neck.

So then I just put him where I was and I just stood behind him. And then when I left, I went up, I was like, hey, man, I'm sorry about your dad. And he was like, okay, thank you. And then Max went up and gave him a hug. Because I told him, because Max was ready to fight him too. Max was your problem, dad. I'm like, chill, dude's dad. The guy's breathing on my mom.

Yeah, right. Exactly. So then we were, we actually wound up leaving a little, a little early because Max was, Dawn was like, look, we got to, we got to go, which fucking killed me. You and Dawn got sexually harassed. Max didn't enjoy the show. And then I text message Stephen before the show. I text Max, hey, I don't know if you know, we're going to be here.

If you need to know where we're at, we'll be where there the problem is. We'll be with the, he goes, if you want to know where we're sitting, it's going to be the place where it looks like there's nobody there, but it's because my son's sitting, he doesn't give a shit. Yeah, and I'm... My wife's being sexually molested, and I'm trying to fight a guy with a knee brace whose dad just died. So I might not catch you after the show, but good luck tonight.

I texted him before the show, and you know, I didn't want to be like... You know me, I fuck up on these things. I've ruined so many famous people relationships. So I... I really just kept rewording it. This is what I wrote. I wrote this. Tell me if it's good.

This is before the show started. That was all right. I wrote, a great show dude me and the wife and the kid are excited to see you this place is awesome the theater was great right and i'm sitting there waiting and waiting because you know me i'm like maybe he's going to come out and point to me or where are you or hey dude after the show he gave him the run down the wife and the kid me are all here you're letting him know it's like i brought up so give me a little something here and i'm i kept checking my phone nothing nothing and then when he came out

i kind of stood on my tippy toes and maybe he he'd see him see me and go, Bobby, Bobbo. But you did that, you were only 5'10. I couldn't get in front of the girl in front of me. That sad guy blocked your view the whole time. He fucking licked Don's neck, and then he fucking chumped you on your boy in the hugging him.

So I got nothing? Damn, that guy went home. I excited that night. He's like, yo, fucking breathe on her chick's neck, and then fucking... Just lie? Then I'd bump dicks with her fucking son and husband. So then he didn't text me at all during the whole show,

and I was getting nervous that we were leaving a little earlier because what if he's going to probably text me and be like, yo, man, come by the bus or come say hi. He wasn't going to do that. I didn't get shit until this morning. Oh, yeah, that's the right time. I got a heart. And then I got, oh, dude, I didn't know you all were there.

Right, that's the lie. Sorry, I was doing radio and getting ready when you texting me. Yep. Thanks for being there. Yeah. Yeah That's all I got I've sent a lot of those

Yeah Fuck dude You were at the show Hmm Damn dude I wanted to fucking hang Afterwards And go to that bar

With you like you kept saying That we should do Oh all those Remember all those place You said you want to take me That I don't want to go to Fuck man God damn

Shit I didn't get to hang out With you and your family Uncomfortably Fuck me I'm gonna kick myself The whole tour for that Anyway what's your face

Talk to you next time What a? Exactly Anyway, who's your face? Oh, and your kid was there And I didn't get to hang out with him after a fucking show Fuck Fuck, fuck that's killing me

Dude, I see that you like all my videos on Instagram too Shit Shit Oh, I'm a real son of a bitch on this one You know what, dude, if I were you, I wouldn't come next time And then walking from that place, dude I tell you what, poor Chester, it's a nice little town But after the sun goes down

it turns into that fucking Dennis Leary film Judgment Night It turns into judgment night, dude I call it a Piven film Dude, from the theater to the car where we parked It was fucking hairy Nice And we didn't come out with everybody

If we came out at the end with all the other white people All the other dudes that look exactly like me It would have been all right But we came out just me It was like the end It was like I felt like Batman's parents Yeah Well you're fresh off of gay hugs

It was rain and cold rain Don's lost respect for you at this point We had to walk under the train The train bridge Which was creepy as shit because it was just guys in the shadow On both sides And then as we were walking under We just heard a guy flipping out

You walk in this motherfucking hood You don't know who the fuck's here motherfucker You're walking around confident and shit Fuck that And Max is like What's he saying? I'm like nothing Keep moving Stop stopping

Just go Is that billionaire Thomas Kelly? We have to make it to the Mexican Popsicle place. Bobby saw his Max had to see his sons, his parents killed on the way of his Stephen Wilson concert. It was hairy, dude. Oh, shit.

And he doesn't become a Batman. He just becomes a bum also. He just never leaves back from living under there. Yeah, but he was great, though. He was great. If we ever get a chance to see him again, we should go. I'd love to. And get seats.

I'll never stand again. I'll never stand again. Two things we have to address. Yes, sir. Here, we need subjects. We need a couple more subjects. We need a couple more subjects, motherfuckers. So send those motherfuckers in, you know, 866, 966, 9.

We didn't check, so I don't know if people called and hung up or what. Yeah. Give the number. No, just say yes, no matter what, Lou, so it sounds of people are listening, you know? There you go. I don't know if people hung up so we didn't look at the phones for a while, but the phone lines are empty. You goes, no? No.

They just stopped calling. They stopped calling. 8669-69, 1969. one word or two word topics. Very simple and easy. Yeah. But make them good. Make them good.

Think about it. Yeah, this is our way. We really should throw things like this. I feel bad. We should stop making these caller topics because we tell them the call and then we don't take the call. I just look at the answer and give them their name credit. So maybe we should do this on socials more often. Well, we could take the call too.

Yeah. I mean, Jacob's such freaking out if we take calls. Does he? Yeah, he thinks they go too long or we don't say enough stuff or I don't know. No one's connections are ever good. I just turn my mic down with your hat. Why don't we take one? Take one that's good.

God damn it. But we'll take some, but I need to hear. What's up? The story. Because Christine had told me that there was a story that happened, a pizza place show, Pizza Party Body Show, that was like a something we had to get into. Well, I mean, you know, I do this. It's the verve.

It's a French restaurant. once a month Danny Braff does a show there but it's you know it's in the basement it's a 50-seater it's nothing it's a but I do it for the pizza I go to the pizza place it's the best pizza I've ever had

the owner comes out you have to place your order for this pizza before you get there they sell out by 5 o'clock every day so you can't just go there and get a pizza after 5 o'clock and if you do go there and you place an order live you have to wait like an hour or two to get your pizza

But we show up, 7 o'clock, pizza done, ready to go. We show up, we got three pies, we got meatballs, Christine shows up, my friend Moe shows up, it was unbelievable. Forget about it. How good was the pizza? Forget about it. It was so good. The energy was fucking popping. It was great.

Lindsay was there. Lindsey about Lindsay? Oh, Lindsay looked fantastic, by the way, my type of girl. 85% tit? Yeah. Yeah. 85% tit, 50% pizza. Lindsay's entirely pizza and tit.

And then we drive over the show, we get in, the show starts, very small room. But the things that suck about this room that I forgot is that it's long. So you only have one table in front of you, a foretop that you can literally reach out and touch. And then behind them is a wall, but the whole wall is mirrors. So as soon as you get up there, I start doing my first little bitty, and I, you know, I'm looking at myself do my act. It sucks. It's the worst. The whole time I'm looking like, ugh.

Did you ever catch? I thought that was always a flaw in the original cellar. Is that right above that first booth to the, when you walk in the first booth to the right, there's a mirror. There's a mirror. And if you stand close enough to the thing, you are staring. This is why I said when I said I was getting frustrated with just being into cellar all the time. I mean, I took years and years of doing it.

I was like not on the road at all. And I was like, if I have to look at myself in that same, you know what I mean? It's like, taking these same fucking jokes again, and just all that kind of stuff. I usually stand to the left and I've taught my. Avoid that year. I've taught myself to avoid that mirror over the years.

But this, the whole thing is a mirror. Like it's a mirror that you'd have in your room, your bedroom to see if you look. Bobby, you're doing comedy in Game of Death. It looks like a... You're looking for the ripe Bruce Lee and all the mirrors. Yeah, exactly.

The whole, all the walls of mirror, behind you's mirrors. That's terrible. But I'm looking at myself doing my bit. A thousand times. Like a thousand different directions. It sucks so bad. Looking in your own eyes while you do your bit is,

is just, it's unthinkable. I'm ashamed to everything I say. I can't look at myself. I have to keep my head down and I'd be like, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm saying this. So then I'm doing it and I'm learning to, I'm adjusting my eyes.

So I'm doing my bits to the left, so I don't have to see myself. So then I'm sitting to doing my thing and everything's going great. I'm in a bit and you know you're working up to get to the main punchline, the main, the main bit, the main... The babadutes. The pop, the pop. The spittinks. The stabanko of the bit, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The fucking hoppa chopper logabal is. The fungillagats, eh? The fungillagats. I literally, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Sking baruch. The marshmelios. That part of the bit where I would go. Hot chocolate, apollaholos?

Mychmellio. That, whatever the bit, it wasn't that bit, but that part of the bit, where you go, you have to talk babies, Mike Melio! It's a physical bit. I'm putting my hands up. The waiter walks in front of me, stands directly in front of me, and delivers a fucking big, big, huge bowl of truffle mac and cheese. Okay.

and some other dish and just stands there and ruins, like, ruins the bit. Marshmellios particularly. It's not that one, no, I was going to do that at the end. It was another bit. I forget what bit it was. I forget what it was, but it was like, you were at the end of it, and this guy just comes in, it's like, it's level, you know?

And the waiter's tall. He's like tall and he has a ponytail, and it was just he had, there was like no awareness that a show was even happening. Like, he couldn't, you know what I mean? Like, he was just. I didn't exist. Didn't even exist to this too. Stood, Jay, I could put my hands on his shoulders.

You understand? That's how small this room is. I want you to think back for a second. Is there any chance this guy was blowing on Don's neck in the back of that concert in Portchester? You think he's a related guy? Similar guy, but not to say that. Did you send somebody after you?

Buddy, it was so bad. And I immediately, I go, you fuck, you walked in front of me. Was he a cunt about it? Well, I was fucking with him, but in a funny way. But I was making fun of him. I was like, you and your fucking stupid ponytail, asshole. You don't walk in front of a comic at my punchline. Took me five minutes to get to that point.

And then you stepped in front of me with the big ball of mac and cheese. Freshier to map, eh. And then the lady got the mac and cheese that was eating it. She was like an old Puerto Rican one with big tits. She was eating the mac and cheese like a fucking five-year-old with a bowl of cereal on Saturday. She was just head down Ha ha ha Just shuffling in her mouth

Binky binky binky binkie binkie skump Bap boob pooh It's a French redshaw Oh It's all right It's French It was a duck Pizza pizza poopy poppy pizza pizza pie

So then Now he got mad Apparently I know this after show He was mad So funny I thought the thing happened at the pizza place No this happened at the gig At the gig

This is at the gig bro I would have no problem So now every joke He's walking in front of me Just walking straight in front of me He's being like purposeful now Purposeful and then he's going back to the table To clean the table

Oh fuck dude This ended with you kicking him across the face Off from stage didn't you? No I'm trashing him Oh I don't want to hear him more then I'm trashing him Nothing you could do Beating then lives up to what you should have done

I'm trashed him And then the other way does walk in mind As they walk in mind He's like high five And they're just high five And they're just high five at me That's how fucking ridiculous this got And then another guy

came out what he come out with he came out it was the same table as a truffle mac ordered desserts and the guy that dropped off those desserts was like the angriest waiter you've ever encountered the angriest waiter i've ever seen walked out with two desserts and just walked out and as he's walking he's just bumming everybody out to the table and hands them the desserts in front of me why are why is the club it's a real question more informed that like you're doing a pretty big favor to come and do this. Yes. Why are they not informed of like to really,

like this seems like the first time that happened like somebody, whoever's in charge or has that show running there and they have you coming to do a favor like that would be like, hey, fucking, let's not fuck this up. Here's the problem with that. The guy in charge is Danny Braff.

Okay. And I guess after the show we went out, Christine, me, Lindsay, we all smoking cigars and stuff in the back. And all of a sudden we hear some, I heard some yelling or something in the, kitchen. Danny comes out, I guess the waiter dressed him down about me. So he's like, that fucking, is that the headliner? He peaked out and saw me. Is that the headliner? He's a

fucking asshole. Fucking he said this and that, blah, blah, and Dan, I go, Danny, you stuck up for me, right? Did you tell him to go fuck himself? He goes, no, I just took it. I go, why would you not say something to him? He goes, I don't like confrontation. I can't deal with confrontation. I go, go get him. Bring him out here. Bring him out here. have him talk to me. He's like, please don't. I don't want this. Please don't do this.

I was like, fuck me. So he didn't. What am I going to do? He was so worried about losing his gig or being, I'm there once a year to give for pizza. And I guess he was worried about having a thing with this guy and the owner and shit like that. But that's crazy. I said that they should have something. It's like, I understand it's not a comedy club.

I understand they don't do it once in a while. but it's like there should be some sort of like, hey guys, there's a show going on. Like could you, you know, lower your voices, duck down anything, like a little bit of extra training for the night. But the fact that we'd walk in front of a live performer while he was talking. But he walked in front of you, you just stood there.

And then as you're talking to him at first, he didn't like realize you were even talking to him. He was so oblivious. He ignored me as I was talking to him about standing in front of me was not acknowledging me. Not even like, oh, shit, sorry. And then was very, very purposefully doing it from one out. I know he's purpose doing it.

Because as he was walking by over, I go, I literally went, you're doing it on a purpose now, huh? And he went, hmm. He gave me that little, yeah, a little smug face. I was why I was like, Bobby loves that fucking pizza man. I was like, I can't believe he's dealing with this fucking. I'm back there in six months. I'll be there. Christine said it was crazy.

That is pretty crazy. I don't even know what you. I thought she was, again, I thought it was something at the pizza place went like, hey, why. No, they were great. Listen, the pizza place, that guy was amazing. That guy... I'm saying so when she said it was crazy I'm like realizing how crazy that is

like you, that's fucking nuts that a place wouldn't be like... I mean, I've done things I get too when you do like kind of like a favor spot somewhere or something like that they're always like, we'll do this, we'll make sure... If something like that happened,

they'd be like, what are you doing? Here's the problem. The owner was... When I showed up, the owner was in, he has like a cigar tent outside and I walked in, he's like, oh, thank you so much for doing it. I can't believe you did this.

You're coming back here. He goes, he gave me two Davidoff cigars were very expensive. Doved Davidoffs? No, it's his uncle, his great uncle. The Davidoffs. He gave me... Chaim Davidoff.

He gave me... He treated me like gold, but he wasn't there. But I just don't understand why Danny... But I'm saying that he wasn't there and I asking you to do it. They were at that table right there. I got it. He was saying he wasn't there, but I mean, like, I feel like you could have definitely... Danny should have said something. for sure. Danny's just

absolutely for sure. I watched that's the second time. I watched Danny get dressed down before. So funny from Vinnie Brand. He was in the back of the room. Danny was either working with me or I gave him guest spots or something,

but he may have been hosting for a weekend or something I had there or I let him do a guest spot, but Vinny was not because this was Vinny was hosting is what it was. So yeah, the show, I think Danny hosted when Vinny wasn't there maybe, and then Vinny came in he did host.

And then when he was on stage, I guess Danny was at the bar of the comedy, you know, the stress factory. Yeah. Talking to another comedian or something, but I mean, like, in the back of the bar or whatever. And Vinny, just under the light where Vinny saw them two talking and not paying attention to, and Vinny went and chewed him out outside. And they didn't know, I went up on the fire escape to smoke cigarettes. And so I was up there.

They didn't know I was up there. And I just sit there and watched Vinny bring Danny outside and be like, it was basically, it's like, when the master's on the stage as a young comic you should respect the craft and watch and learn and Bob. It was so great. It was so great. Yeah. He can't, he can't, he has no confrontation skills.

And the problem with me, if this was, if this was six years ago, I would have fucking told, I would have told him to fuck off. I would have told the club to fuck off. I would have just. Well, that's the interesting of saying. I would have blown up at everybody and be like, dude, fuck you. You should know, I would have done that. I'm just, I'm trying not to be that.

guy anymore well what then he should develop as a spine no bones no no no I'm confident no I'm none of those things either I'm non-confrontation on every possible way especially having like be the bringer of the confrontation but when it's time but when it's brought to me these ways I'm saying before if a Vinnie was like because I come outside and started like just chewing me out for fucking talking about they I'd be like excuse me dude well didn't you almost fist fight Vinnie earlier career I almost fought Vinny one night too yeah I'm like very early that was open mic I almost fist-fied Vinny on my headlining weekend to the point where he was like,

you can just go home then, forget it. And I was like, I was like, I don't really want to go home. That's a lot of money. I just wanted to fight you. I just wanted to knock you out. I just want to fight you a little bit. Yeah, me and Vinny, you got in a way, I was way young in comedy. I've been great with Vinny for years and years and years, which is nice.

I mean, like, it's better to have the thing than not, you know. But like, uh... Vinny sticks. Sure. I know a million people who think so and with good reasons. We got callers. Oh, yeah. We got topics.

We do have some topics. We need these. What is... All right, go to one of the callers, Jay. John and Tacoma. But they're just going to get on the phone and say a word. It's fine. Give them a little air time.

And you go, you throw it. Throw it to some callers. I can't see it from here. Yeah. Let's try, uh, John, John in Tacoma. John from Tacoma. John, welcome to the bonfire. Crackle, crackle.

What's up, buddy? What do you got for us? Blood letting. I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure you said, you said bloodletting. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what I said. Okay, great. Thank you, John. Maybe Jacob was right.

Let's try one more. Sure. Let's try one. Jay, who do we got? Stakey. Well, that's just a real question, and we can get into that for a second. Afro-man is pretty great. The Evan in Houston.

Crackle, Cackle, boys. Evan, what do you got for us? All right, so I lost my legs in war a couple years ago, and sometimes I roll in to take a piss, and some dude is in the handicapped stall, and he comes out, and he has to look at me with the worst fucking look on his face ever,

because I've been sitting there waiting to take a leak. You do something with that, handicaps stalls. All right, well. You ever have to take one because it's the only one open, but then you come out, There's an actual handicap person waiting for it. I would start acting mega-retarded. Yeah, I would just start limping.

I would knock on the wall and knock on my leg at the same time. I have a secret, though, to share it. The reason I called today, because I have a question for Mr. Magic, I've been trying to get a hold of all you boys for a while to have him identify a baseline for me. Okay. I'll try. All right. All right.

Thank you, DJ. I think we were going through the struggles at the time. But there's a song you played when we were talking about Bobby's bag addiction that looked like a year ago. It's played in British British gang songs Like Guy Ritchie movies Kind of thing

That goes Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Papa's got a brand new bag It's not popas got a brand new bag I've tried to shazam the shit out of this There's a whole reel on Instagram Can I can I share it one more time Yeah you got it

Let me add the clicks in the pops too Doom do Doo do do do do do do do do do do boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Boom boom boom boom Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Wait, I know it. Oh, I got it. I know what it is.

I got it. It's from the reservoir dog soundtrack. Yep. Little green bag. Let's hear it. Little green bag. Play it. See, he's right.

That was good. The second one was better. Thank you, Bobby. I appreciate that. Hey, man. Thank you for. Did you lose your legs serving in the military? I was a Marine.

I got blown up by an IED on my second deployment. It's no big deal. It's part of the job. Hey, buddy, it's a big deal. God bless you. Thanks. That's a fucking song. Yes, Mr. Magic wins again.

Magic. Thank you so much. What do you think we call magic for nothing? No, I know why we call magic. I have a question. I sent you guys an Instagram video. I was going to say, Evan, is this you who, like, you played it on a base? I played it.

Yes, I played it all day. I remember your video of you doing this. Yeah. I remember. You talked about like Darth Mall show and stuff like that. Yes. That's fucking wild. Yeah.

Well, that's so satisfying. Little green bag. I'm so, like, boys, like, can you imagine? I've been looking for the name of this song for like three fucking years. I know what that means. That means a lot to people. Shazam doesn't even know. Do you have the, uh...

You just, you just beat Shazam, bro. Yeah, I did. He's the best. Hey, dude, do you have the, uh... Do you have, like, the prosthetic cool legs? or do you have like the ones that just look like legs? I had all the cool shit, but it turns out just because of my injuries,

it's just easier for me to get around in the wheelchair. So, like, I do all the shit. I've raised some triathlons and all that stuff. I just get around a lot better in wheelchairs. Wow, all right. Cool, man. That got, that was so intense. That was a very intense phone call.

I figured out. No, that's the, don't be apologized at all. That was great. By the way, I know that feeling. I could tell you the name of the song still that it took me, like, years to find that I found. It used to play in the, not the green room the lobby of carolines all the time back when it was the managers like

kenny and johnny walker yeah johnny walker used to make all of the playlists right and it was all this where i found like such great heights by the postal service like where he played a lot of like uh interesting indie rock here's my jam that comics he left carolins that's right johnny walker's right but he made these good playlists on CDs he would make and they would play all the time and the other one was a song i just couldn't i found out the songs that sounded like it that i would get into just because it was a similar chord progression. And then in fucking South Africa of all places in a bar, I heard it playing and I was like,

what is the song? It was almost over to when they looked it up, whispering wind by Moby. That's the, it took me fucking years to find that. And then so, now as all that buildup, there's no way you could play the song

and have it be satisfying to anybody you tell that to. They're going to be like, this song? You're like, yeah, I know, it was great. I want to hear it. Well, you have to wait for the lyrics come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking Moby.

It's fucking Moby. What a fucking loser. How many people have you been in your life? I mean, put on the south side, I'll listen. How many versions of J has there been over the years? Oh, there was like 18 people in there. Well, I never had a Moby phase. I just like this song.

You do inside. And you went here something weird? Talk about the thing. Before I found the song, I would listen to the song, Let Me Love You by Mario. It's the same chord progression. I feel so bad. This guy called up and I go,

you got your legs blown off. He's like, yeah, no big deal, though, whatever. I just got blown up behind you. And then I'm complaining about plantophagitis at a Stephen Wilson Jr. concert last night. I couldn't make it through a whole concert. What a hunk of a shit of a pussy I am. You got to work on your plantifaciasis and keep fucking standing on your two feet.

I couldn't stand for two hours last night. This guy's legs blown off. Could there have been a worse phone call before we find that Danny Braff's non-confrontational? Danny Braff doesn't want to get a little conversation with this server over his dumb behavior. This guy got his legs blown off in war. He's doing all right with it.

Ransome triathlons. Do you hear the chord progression, Lou? You hear what I'm saying? I do. Mario sounds better, though. This one sounds way better. Stick around and I just don't know. If I was your man,

never worry about. Jay is just a gay man. I become it. Gay, why don't you look over there at Black Lou? Doing you right. Doing you right. That's how they got all the girls. What's that? That's how they got all the girls.

Handful of rings. N-word, I just know that you are. You should let me love you. Jesus. That wig is still in you. You won't and need. Oh, N-word good love and affection. Look at you, you're so into it.

Time to cut it. Well, this is all I had. Oh, shit. You still got it, man. You still got to stuff. We do have a slight. There are updates. What do you got?

Afro-man thing, the Afro-Man trauma. We watched the Lickam Low Lisa and all that shit. And lemon pound cake. Lemon pound cake. He won. He completely won a court. He won them all. He won everything.

Yeah. He didn't have to pay any money. money to them and all the thing and she had to sit there and listen to like she to sit there and listened like to the laughing and stuff and the guy the complaints on a to be on the fact you would go to court and have to sit there and go like and then I walk in and everybody sends lemon pound cakes now to the station everyone calls me pound cake it's like dude shut the fuck up like shut up why are we not sending a lemon pound cake to that that that police Adams County Sheriff Department we have we have just trying to make some fucking money and they

didn't get any. We have to send a lemon pound cake there. Oh yeah. What's your name? Lickham. Lickam Lleisa. Some lesbian porn. Yeah, we send Lickam Louisa. Let's send some literature on how to squirt. Yeah. And then we'll, uh, and a lemon pound cake. We should send a dildo, some literature, and a lemon pound cake to the station. Well, there is a woman coppers like, can you be certain that after man didn't sleep with your wife? And he was like, no. What does it say about your wife? If you can't be certain about that maybe she fucked afro man maybe i look but her having to sit there and cry on the stand while he's playing it and she's just bawling and he's like look him lowly she'll suck your wife's pussy and the jury's just like yeah look him low lisa that didn't give a shit can i hear

that again i want to hear a lick him low lisa when i watched recently he was talking about this and someone just goes uh they described him he goes man fucking afro man's lazy as shit fucking when i just for someone describe Afro Man is lazy. It's really funny. This guy makes the laziest songs ever. I mean, his number one song is the laziest song of all time. Oh, yeah. Every song is the same song.

Yeah, it's this whole thing. Again, let's never forget. Afro Man's also the guy who fucking just decked a girl for coming on stage. Remember that? Yeah. We just punched her fucking in the next universe. Bring up that video of Averman punching the chick out. That's so crazy.

This girl. And the problem with this is now that this is going to be a million times worse from her and the other guy. But especially her. Because now they lost a lot. You tried to sue him for making fun of you. By the way, I never heard. I never heard of this song that I remember briefly that he got raided. Right.

And he was making a stink about it because he was like, they're rating me for nothing. But it would have never been this big. If you didn't go to trial and then lose it now, I'm very aware of this. And I think it's hilarious. And especially crying, crying on the stand is terrible. This is crazy. I've actually never seen this. No, uh.

You've never seen this? Yeah, we did it on the show. Yeah, we did this. It's insane. It's pretty wild. He's shredding. It's shred a clock, and no one told this girl. What the fuck?

I mean, he punched her. I mean, it might have been. lick him Lolita you never know Lillisa Lickin Lelisa you never know look at this girl What an idiot Oh I mean she's an idiot but that's a lot

He got it right I mean He got it right in the chin too He goes back to play She's like all right That was a weird way to handle things She had to pull a yoga pants up That's her boyfriend too Her boyfriend had to take it

He's only 40 there Oh my God Do you see her boyfriend? Yeah. That sucks. And for treatment to help with anxiety. He's apologized

instead he'll check himself in for treatment for anxiety. Her boyfriend gets on stage and is... In fairness, don't get drunk and jump up on stage and start doing that.

But I mean... Not during his solo. Where did she come up from? It looks like she was... She came up from the side. Yeah. She went from the side and then she's shuffled

away over with her drink. Oh, yeah. Look, she's holding her drink. Look, it's so bright outside? Where is this? Yeah. This is like fucking some kind of a daytime fucking thing.

It's like day. Time is Gang Fest. Yeah. Watch your boyfriend come up, though. Yeah, he gives him a look. He goes, chill, man. It's like, it's too late, do I ever decked your chick.

But by the way, no one's stopping anyone from getting on stage. He comes up. He's drug and shit, too. His assholes hanging out. He said that guy went, what's up, dude? What's up?

He was going to give him a little taste also. We got to break. Break our penises? All right. Well, tomorrow's. Going to be a big day, but no one's going to get to know about it. Somebody sent a new DeWondra performance. Live performance.

Oh, okay. So we have that too. Yeah. And also, I'm not sure if you guys saw this, but look at this cover photo on Facebook. That's hilarious. I've heard repeatedly an unpaid on Bonfire. Trust the science. Trust the science.

That's Steve Advox, Mullins, Facebook. That's fantastic. Good for him. It's his Facebook page. Good for him. I'm changing mind to marshmallows and hot choppa. Hot job, Blabolas. Hot job, Blaholas.

Well, don't worry. David, if you want to, if you want to fucking steal our content on podcast and post my what's going to be one of my first sets, we're going to be Thursday on the bonfire. You'll hear me. I got, I got answers from people. You ready? I got, oh, sorry. Keith has a doctor's appointment.

He can't make it. He always has a doctor's appointment. Dan Soda. Yes. 2 p.m. Okay. He'll be here tomorrow. Lovely.

We got Mike Finole of Dan Soda. What morning? I'll get a RRI to come in. I'll get RRI to come in. I'll try to get Ari. All right, everybody will catch you tomorrow. Until next time. Crackle, crackle, y'all.

Luke, cut that music.