The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Naked Song Dance

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Jay has a sex playlist and a shower playlist. He believes that some music can only be enjoyed in the dark. Bob panics Jay and Christine because of the tone of his texts. It has recently been reported that Beethoven has African roots and Jay creates a new character named Black Beethoven. Bob educates the group on which snow blowers and leaf blowers to purchase. Back in the day, Bob was on a few episodes of Real Stories of the Highway Patrol. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Hey Bobby This is a This is in my playlists of songs I've had to remember while looking up at the TV screen during sex Sometimes having to hit the remote control so you can see the name of the song.

You had sex to this? We used to put on a TV channel, it was like a TV channel, music choice, and we had direct TV. And you give me shit from fucking to babyface? Yeah. Yeah, that's gross. You're gross. This fucking happy end of a rom-com song.

Well these things would just pop up we would put on a College rock or indie rock because most of that is pretty good. You also put it kind of low wasn't super loud I mean this would be good for cleanup Yeah, really got us moving doesn't we're dancing with mops Yeah, she's out there with a half wet half dry towel spinning it turn it up blue. How fun is this song though? It gives you everything you want. It goes the places you want it to go. Is that a weird description? No, it's a perfect description. A little more Lou. It's hard to make a horn section sound cool. I feel like Jacob plays this on the plane

as it's landing in Florida. No. Jacob's like me, he listens to all dark music alone. You can't say that anymore, Jay. What, dark music? Yeah. Sorry, colored music. No, not that either.

Oh. Sorry. Wow. What do you listen to alone, Jacob? What's your car, what's a, you don't drive at all. To me, that's always the tell. What's a good drive? I drive down here. Yeah?

You do drive down here with your golf cart? What time of day, what time of day, by the way, does it make a difference? Will you be picking for music? Because it does matter to me. If it's the end of the night, I do tend to go slow, like more contemplative songs. But usually it's metal in the daytime.

You drive around in metal? Certainly when I'm walking, certainly when I'm working out. You drive around a metal in a Malibu in Florida by yourself? At night? No, during the day, it's a day times metal music. Oh, day times metal music. Yeah, and then I'll switch to my 80s and 90s Brit. Metal doesn't work for me during the day.

Nothing that's hyper emotional music in any way can happen during the day. During the day is when I'll try to like, literally until it's dark out, I'll try to listen to like Stern, Howard Stern stuff or like it's that's what I'll put on like fun like a fun 80s music not cool 80s music even. There's 80s music that you cannot do during the day. West End girls during the day, there's no point. You won't enjoy it the way it's supposed to be enjoyed because you got to hear that. Watch. You're't enjoy it the way it's supposed to be enjoyed. Because you've got to hear that.

Watch. You're putting on West End Girls though? Watch. Watch how easy this is. Turn the lights real bright in here, Christine. Turn the big middle one on. Ugh. You have such a beautiful studio.

It's fine. It's beautiful when the lights are on. Well, nothing works, so it's nice to... I feel like we're in here on a weekend stealing a show most of the time. This is beautiful. Yeah, but this doesn't really slap the same way. Why don't you like lights? Because doesn't this not feel cool right now at all? I feel great. It wakes me up. You think this feels cool? Well when you have all the lights down low,

put them down low. Christine, turn the music up. Cause that's what you would do. ["Spring Day"] Ooh. Doesn't it feel so much cooler? You don't immediately just feel cooler. Turn them back up.

Sometimes you better off dead. Turn them back up a little bit. Let me see. ["Spring Day"] Well that just looks like we're in the wrong room. Just put them all on. No, put the middle one on, yeah. Yeah.

And you can turn the volume up. You just know that the song's playing like, oh yeah, this is West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys. You can kind of like go... Do we have the blue ones on and turn everything else off? Yes. That'd be great. No, we can't.

If it was dark with the blue on, this song, that would be perfect. Blue only comes on with the overhead? Really? What a dumb system. Why don't you cut the wire? Hey, you know what I don't give thanks for? Whoever built the tech in this fucking place. Everything's on one switch. Look how much we're able to just glaze past this song turn the things down turn the volume up low In Western a little lower on those lights Christine Eastern boys and Western girls In a Western town than it was

Eastern boys and Western girls Western girls It's so much better. It's a little dark. So much better. It makes me sleepy. Well, that song particularly is a little bit of an airy song. It's a little sleepy, but with the lights down, looking at your little tired eyes.

Give me a little tenderness by General Public. Even this is bubbly, but still, it's cool with the dark. You turn the lights on, now it's like silly and stupid. That's a great song. Turn it up a little. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. Ooh ooh ooh ooh. Now if you're listening tonight, you're driving fast, you're happy about a girl. Right? Takes you back, you're in high school, you're happy about a girl you kissed.

Are the windows down or windows up? You're happy about a girl you kissed? Are windows down or windows up? Windows are down, but the streets are pretty empty. Dude, this is falling in love? You're happy about a girl? I have been happy about a girl in a long time. No, I know you gotta take back for sure. You gotta close your eyes and go back to a time. When you had a magical time. When I just met a girl at some club.

And you kissed fast because her friends were pulling her away? Right. But she gave me a number and I got it Yeah, and I'm so old. I have to go to a payphone tomorrow, and she let you know last second She was being pulled away. She's like please make sure you call me it wasn't just one of those like oh, I gotta go Here's my number. Yeah, she's like it sucks. I have to leave. I'm being pulled away Yeah, and I'm Cindy with an eye, but there's a heart over the eye what a slut But she's not a slut this night. No, not tonight. She's in love. We're both in love. Oh God! Where is the...

...oh oh oh... ...where the... ...wish the little grey yard... ...oh oh oh oh... ...just a... oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, same Jelly Roll song over and over again. Wish it was you. It's a deep cut Bob Seeger. I do love it. No, you know what I've been doing? You'll be so sad.

Why? I've been watching World War II documentaries. Yeah, don't watch anything while you're driving. On, well listening. Okay. On YouTube. At nighttime? At night when I drive home I...

Come on, dude, you're wasting dark driving. I'm wasting... You're wasting dark driving on fucking not music Did you know that you're crazy Japan started the war? I didn't know that they they invaded China Uh-huh, and then yeah, and I didn't know that That they started the Bobby. That's what you listen to when you're driving down here in the daytime well down I roll my calls. I roll all the phone calls. Here's what you do. Do what I do Don't call anybody ever

Return no calls be difficult to get a hold of and don't respond to text But yeah, you are I mean dude I have to I have you know how many times a decision has been made in my life couldn't count the millions of times The decision has been made to dead a phone call because of music I'm listening to. Do you know how many times I've had to say the serenity prayer and just let our friendship go into the wind and just go, no, he likes me.

I love you. He cares about me, it's not me. I care about you so much. How many times I've called you or texted you and I've gotten zilch. The only thing that means. I mean, you have tag a little bit though. I call back and you're not prepared.

You call back at weird have to pay over there. You call back at weird times. Sure, when I'm available. Yeah, you call back at 11.52, and then I'll call back at 11.53 and you won't answer. That sounds like dog walking. It sounds like, oh, here's the thing, Bob, you gotta learn about me.

I'm sorry, I can't believe I didn't tell you this. I know it. No, Christine could fill you in on this, too. It's called, uh... It's called The Q. this. I know it. No, Christine could fill you in on this too. It's called the queue. Yeah, I know. And when I wanna talk and I call you, I used to feel bad about this, but now I feel like you should have been more honored

by my calls, I don't make so many, that once you didn't get it, I'm gonna call somebody else, and then you're back in the queue. Christine, many a time has been like, this is idiotic of hers. If I were her I would hang on until the phone cut off and then call right back because what she'll do is go, I call, hey I'm heading home now and she goes, oh great. Well, she's like in her mind she's, oh well I got a phone call, let me rush and walk the dog now.

So then she goes, I'm going to go downstairs with the dog, so I'm gonna call you when I get downstairs. And I'm like, that's four other people getting a chance to answer. That's Isabella, Lewis, or a Fanoia possibly. 100% a Fanoia. No, no, it's any one of those. Those are the first four. Oh, maybe Justin Silver?

Can I say this to you though? Yeah, Justin, Josh. No, not Josh Josh my mom I Mean I'll take your mom. I'll take I'll take I'll take for the way. I get that you guys are pals It's it was I have started doing what Bobby Bobby. No, you should feel good Well, you should feel good about is that like you could always believe in a lot of times. It's true The fact that you're back in the queue now does mean you were my first thought. You were my first thought,

but then you didn't answer and I go, by the way, sometimes if I call three and they don't answer, I go, am I just sleeping? Is this like a dream or something freaky's about to happen? Why would three people not wanna talk to me? Just because I don't talk to them when they call me? Exactly. Oh.

Yes, exactly. But here's the thing too, you do call at weird times, and I know you're outside smoking a cigarette somewhere, and I do know I'm in a queue. But when you call me, if I'm on the phone with somebody, I go, let me call you right back. A lot of the times.

Know that, No. Yes, I have a queue. I've done that for you. But you're not in the queue. I've never debted your call for somebody else's call. You've answered my call to tell me I ruined a song. Yeah.

And then hung up on me. Yeah. I ruined your jam sesh. Especially if I'm in the shower on the road. Because here's the thing, a lone shower, road, music louder than I would do it at home probably. Maybe not louder, but more free form to do.

This weekend, in shower, I pantomime the entire song Lazy Eye by Silver Sun Pickups. With full naked, in the dark, you know, I shower in the dark. Air guitaring and fake singing into a microphone that was in a specific place that I would keep coming back to.

Why you say you shower in the dark? I don't know that. Why do you shower in the dark? I don't know, whenever be able to, that requires therapy I haven't gotten yet, I don't know. I mean, you have to do it in the dark? No. Complete dark? Cell phone light. Cell phone light. It's a new wish, but probably like six, seven years now. I don't know. I mean you have to do it in the dark. No complete dark

Cellphone light new wish but probably like six seven. What did you do before cell phones? Light a candle. No, I took a shower with the light on so this is a thing that you've developed over the years that you Like being in the dark shower. Yeah, wow. That's something The song right here dude, man. I went the whole song. I didn't and I and, dude. Man, I went the whole song. And by the way, I lip synced. I didn't, I didn't sing. I wasn't trying to sing this morning. Is this tub shower or is this walk-in shower? Walk-in shower.

Okay, more respectable. Yeah, nice size space. It was in a hotel in, where the fuck was I just at? Houston. Houston, Texas. Yeah, and I was really like, and I meant it. Like I was like, this is how I would sing this song and look if I got to play this song ever. Can I see a little bit of it?

Mm-hmm. But you gotta picture me completely naked. You're 100% naked in the shower. The shower's coming down from here. From there. And now I'm just like, it's a very just like distraught thing, but I'm doing a lot of walking around thinking about it. You have a very long guitar strap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very long Who did I put a little something into it? Well put the face into it

Oh, so you're looking out of the crowd there's a crowd oh You turn it back to the drummer. You're making it back to the mic just in time. Yeah. Oh, you're back. Oh, you're individually picking people out of the crowd to give attention to. Yeah, I'm pointing a little bit. But now you're back in your own head. You're back jamming with the band. Oh man, it would be raining sniz on me if I did that for real life, just not naked in a shower. But in that moment I'm killing it. So when

you're on the road and you're not answering the phone. I'm naked in a shower every time. Good to know. Good to know. 100% the time. All right, that's good to know I mean you are Me and are you talking about that? You don't return phone call like you you do call back Here's the thing. This is the thing that is okay with it I don't know where you guys have time to be I'm on like text threads with people like lots of you in the bonfire Too and I look at the thing. I'm like, how's everybody having time to do this? I'm like, I'm driving, I'm packing, I'm flying,

or I'm like, the only time it hits, and then when I'm like, in a hotel room. We do the same thing you do. It's my, that's my question. In the car to the airport, waiting to board the plane, when you get off the plane, waiting for your bag, going to the hotel from the plane, when you get off the plane waiting for your bag, going to the hotel from the airport, getting into the hotel,

sitting there for a couple of minutes, hours before the show, after the show, sitting there for hours on your computer, there's literally... I do respond then, that's what I'm responding. Tell me time I'll respond. There's hours in the day to. Well, most of those things you just described, music time.

So that's all music time? Yeah. So why don't you just turn your phone off? What do you mean? Like turn the phone part off. I need to be available. To who, is my question? My daughter.

Okay, so that's your daughter. All right, that's good. Christine. Christine, second. Christine, your daughter. There's no order, but I guess yeah. All right. Christine more likely to be able to solve her own problem.

I don't have the same problem with Jay, everybody else does. I know you don't. So funny, you can't even give you a second without throwing them a caveat. I mean, I wouldn't put it in order, but. So your daughter, Christine, where am I on the, if you had to make a chart of, and this might hurt,

I might regret asking this, but in the chart of phone calls, where am I? You got your daughter, Christine. Top tier, it's tiers. I'm a tier. Top tier. I'm top tier. Top tier. Is there, all right, but who's in the a tier. I'm good. Top tier. I'm top tier. Top tier.

Is there, all right, but who's in the top tier with me? Louis. No, no, no, no. For making a phone call, me making the phone call outward? No, Louis is not top tier. That's just true. I might be Louis' top tier, but Louis' not my top tier. It's not a dig on Louis.

It's that like Louis is gonna, we very rarely have a like, dude, this funny thing I saw just happen and made me think, you know, whatever, and we just talk and shoot the shit. It's gonna come at some point to like, oh, and also I booked us on a seven day thing, we're all making 150 bucks. It's like something like that.

Wait, what, we have to do what? Yeah, I do the rigs. So like, yeah. So it's like, so no, he's not topped here for that. That's not importance in life A comment on that at all. That's importance in like right? Hey, I've got some time now where I could talk to somebody Oh, fuck me running. It's not so it's gonna be Funny things I respect I respect your I

Respect it. I respect that you don't make you feel any better So there's falling out of top tier for calls to make, and I don't even know why. No, we all know why. He's not sitting in this chair. Well, listen, no, it's always the truth. No, no, but there is something to the fact that we don't have to communicate on a level like that

as much anymore. And when we do talk on the phone, it is just like fun, funny phone calls, which is great, but it's just like, it's not, because it's almost like before I got to friends I just wanna shoot this shit with, there's probably friends also, like there's more immediate things.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? No, I have to. Like, oh, let me call and shoot this shit with Bobby because we have to like, we have to do shows, whatever. So it's fun, maybe something funny just happened or whatever. I have top tiers. I have, you know, Colin's in the top tier.

Dawn is the top, the tippy top. Sure. Max is the tippy top. Yeah. And Fennoy, Christine. Yeah, mine's a... But Christine, Christine parentheses dog. Yeah. Yeah.

There is a top tier. I mean, yeah. DeRosa used to be in the top tier. There's a lot of people that used to be in the top tier that are no longer in the top. There's people that are in the top tier. There's a lot of people that used to be in the top tier that are no longer in the top tier. There's people that are in the top tier that when I see them call, I'm like, fuck. Do you have that guy?

Sure, I'm sure I do. Let me think about that for a second. But I'm gonna say also about Dan. Dan lives his phone in do not disturb mode. He keeps his, so Dan also rarely answers the phone. When you call, that's probably more the reason. Just organically, it doesn't come to my mind to call Dan because I'm like I've gotten used to like you have to wait for Dan to call you or like you text with them that

you're gonna call or something. Yeah that's some therapy bullshit that's like something somebody said that dude keep your thing off and and then he'll call you back right away. I think Justin does that too. It's like fucking dude just answer the fuck. I think Justin Silver does that too. Yeah but take it off. He does it every time. Take Whenever he texts he messages you and then it tells you under that text that he's not gonna see what you write back It bugs me because it's like listen if you have it off you're doing something don't call me, right? Don't let me know that you're screening your calls and somehow you granted me the fucking ash of your presence I fucking hate that just take it off or put it on and don't answer my call. Don't have it on all the time

and then call me back two seconds later like, oh, did you deem me fucking special enough? Fuck off. I don't like that shit. What I do to people with that regard is I write. If I'm gonna do that, if I'm calling you right back, for the look of that even alone, I would just write two minutes.

Two minutes, love it. Two minutes. I love a two minutes. Even if I don't need two minutes, you're just going like, I don't wanna make it seem like I'm going like, oh, he's passed the test to get me. I go, I just go, it's like, oh yeah, just give me two minutes. Whatever it was, whatever the reason was,

I didn't answer it, let me finish this song. Let me blah, blah, blah, two minutes. Always, always give the two minutes or give me blah, blah, blah. Two minutes. Always give the two minutes, or give me on the phone, call you right back, any little something that lets me go, cool. And you don't have to be two minutes. I don't even, I don't do the. Don't under, don't ever undersell your minutes though.

I don't like that either. What do you mean? I'm sure I'm guilty of it myself at times, but when it comes to my direction, I'm like don't. 30 seconds, and then five minutes later, you're sitting there going like, hey, I like, don't, 30 seconds, and then five minutes later, you're sitting there going, hey, I have not moved a certain direction here, whether it be going in somewhere or leaving somewhere,

because I'm like, this phone call's coming in, let me get that going before, do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, 100%. Before I put my phone in my pocket on this walk with my headphones on, let's get this phone call answered, and then we'll go. If you say two minutes, I'll give you five minutes. If you say 10 minutes, you get 15 minutes.

If you say 30 seconds, that means you're calling me right back. You have two minutes. Then you have two minutes legit. Then you have two minutes legit, yeah. But the response inside of there, which everybody can do because it comes up automatically now. It comes up on your phone, hey, you can respond, text, and push the custom, whatever, give me a minute, can't talk right now, blah, blah, blah.

That can just send to my phone, just to let me know you saw it, and I'm, you're cool, we're cool. Bye, I'm done. I'll even take a can't talk right now, and then I get it, you know what I mean? You've gotten that from me, can't talk right now, is it important, do you need me I can't talk right now and then I get it. You know, I mean you've gotten that from me Can't talk right now. Is it important? Do you need me to like call you back right now? And I'll say nope No, nope, or when I do need you I go I go like this. Yo, call me Yeah, yeah, call me as soon as you can. Yeah. What is you the one time? I love a good ASAP

What did Bobby do one time? He hung us out hard with something once that wasn't long ago. What the fuck was it though? What did we do one time? He hung us out hard with something once. That wasn't long ago. What the fuck was it though? Gotta talk majorly important, like ASAP right now. And then we have to wait until the next day. Oh, I hate when she sings her sentences. No, it was something where you're like,

hey guys, yeah, it was like, hey guys, we needed to talk. I think it may have been Comedy Camp. It was one of those, like you were getting ready to go away and we needed to sort it out. No, it was because I had, I was going... Comedy camp happened quick. Yeah. Uh, for me having to go away. And I knew I had to go away there and then to Cuba,

and that was, like, pretty important shit that I had to drop on you guys, and I needed you guys to know this is fat. The first people that I wanted to know were you two. It's probably something psychological within me and Christine also, that when you said that, we're like, we fucked up some, you know what I mean? Or like Bobby's like, or Bobby's just going like,

yeah guys, I can't really do this show anymore. So it was- We thought you were leaving us. Whatever it was, you just specifically, I go, what is it? I go, what is this? You go, it's a, he goes, you were just like, dude, you're like, I asked, there was an answer.

He goes, is this like important? And you go, it's like really important important and it's like a big deal. Whatever your wording was, it was not like, it made it seem like it wasn't a work related thing. You were like, life just changed over here, man. And like, we have to talk. It was a big deal, cause I had to take two weeks off.

It's cause you did something. I was like, you did something. I was like, you can't say you need to talk and then just like leave us there for a day. We called you six times that night. No, but something happened. He did something. No, it wasn't that long. Oh yeah, here, Wednesday, here it is.

Guys, I need to talk to you today at five o'clock. Very important. I'm jumping on the train now. Won't be available until I get back up between 3.30 and five. We need to jump on a call. Yeah. And I said any heads up. Okay. And no response. I want you to that's the tone you heard. Now, can I read it? Can I read it as me? I'll read it. I'll read it. The guys. I'm gonna read this. Ready? Ready? Where is it? Guys, we need to talk. You're right. I'm going to read this. Ready? Ready?

Where is it? Guys, I need to talk to you today at five o'clock. Very important. I'm jumping on the train right now. It won't be available until I get back up to Katona between 3.30 and five. We need to jump on a call. We thought- That was the time.

Okay, well- Now that I'm remembering it- You read it like this. We thought something terrible happened to Max. No, no, no. We didn't take it angry. You're getting it wrong. No, I understand.

You go, guys, we got to talk at five o'clock. Super important. I'm jumping on a train right now. Like it's like part of the jumping on the train was part of like the, I got to get on a train because terrible things are happening. I'm like, you can't respond on a train. I love that. No, because I don't have service.

Oh yeah. Christine, I don't know if you remember train wasn't one of the methods of time that no you said that I can text back No, no train. I don't get service in a lot of the areas I and I couldn't have it cut out during it, but I love your response any heads up question mark What what's that mean? We thought maybe we were in trouble with you or your family or your family was on fire The fact that you guys house on fire max and dawn trapped jumping on a train. That's not over guys guys right away guys Guys, I need to talk to you today at five o'clock very important guys is a straightening out thing too It goes guys. Yeah, we got to talk like guys we bring it in because we're all fucking well

I don't know Christine's pronouns now. I Apologize she's that, huh? She's that, huh? It's, it's, it was more like. I just say, if you need to talk, you call. You don't shoot out a bomb like that and then just run away. I did call. From this day forward, everything's different guys.

I'll call you when I get a chance. No, it all goes back to Jay. I called him and he didn't answer. So it was like, listen, to, because I know I'm on some fucking queue and I can't wait till 11 47 at night when he's smoking a cigarette, walking, docking. That wasn't queue if we called you right back.

But I needed you, hey guys, real important, I need you to call me about this. You can't have your naked song dance day. What? And well, you can't. You can't do both. I needed you to call me. That's dance day. What? Well you can't. You can't do both. I needed you to call me, that's what it was.

You think I can be a cake and eat it too situation? No, I get you, I understand, but it was more of like, I need to talk to you at five o'clock today. Dude, I could have unplugged for a second. I could have unplugged for a second and fucking talked to you while I was naked in the shower. I did call and you didn't answer. And if I, I needed to just,

and that's why I put you on the thing, cause I know the direct line to him is through you. I know, people know I respond. I know you respond, that's why I went to both of you, because a lot of stuff I've sent to you don't get response. Buddy, I'm pinballing around. Christine's on a couch with a dog in sweatpants.

Can you stop talking to me like I'm not pinballing around? I do the same thing you do, and then some. I do more thanballing around. I do the same thing you do. And then some. I do more than you. Yes. You're raising a child. Child and a wife. His child's raised.

Yeah. Child is raised. Yeah, dude. You wake up, I wake up in the morning, every day, when he wakes up. And I'm up all night. Well, pull it up next time. Doing that. Well, I'm saying that. You're not up all night. Well, pull it up next time. Doing that.

Well, I'm saying that. You're not up all night. That's not what I'm saying. You're not up all night. Well. You're not up all night. I call you many a times that I have woken you and you answer, talk about it,

someone answering the phone with the wrong tone, I'm calling to see Bobby, hey, I'm driving home, I got 20 minutes, I'll bullshoot with Bobby, go, huh, what is, what's up? I go, Bobby, it's 8. that? I go Bobby. It's 837 That only happened one fucking week two times. I have a two-time in one week. So I never call eight anymore I don't call after eight o'clock. That's when we move But it's just 830 I figure I bullshit with you for a few minutes. What's here is it? That's what I'm, that's what I'm, that's what I'm. Did Sharp win? Jacob, I hope your dolls die.

I, I, I. Those dolls died years ago. It doesn't start from waking up at night. That was, that was one week when I was moving. I was exa, all that crazy shit. I was wiped out of my brain early. But I'm usually up until one or two. Yeah.

Pretty much. Sometimes. On the road, I'm always like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to early. But I'm usually up until one or two, pretty much. Sometimes. On the road, I'm always up. But now and again, eight o'clock. I've come home just, I mean, blasted exhausted

and I still always am up for about a good two hours at home no matter what. Yeah, sometimes you'll start fading on the couch, but you never go straight to bed. No, I never go straight to bed either. My usual MO is I come home, watch TV, up, way late, there in bed every time I come home now. But when we moved, I was exhausted.

At like eight o'clock, I was fuckin' wiped from doing shit all day. But I do the same amount of stuff you do. Sure. I mean, I do podcasts, I do... You guys both have 18 shows. I know. And then we go on the road on the weekend. But I do wake up in the morning

and have to do husband and father shit. Sure. And I have to take care of my, I have to rake. What's the husband stuff? The husband stuff is we gotta do this, we gotta go here, you gotta do that, we gotta get this thing and thing from up there and put it up there.

Well, don't you have a landscaper, yeah? No. You're not getting a landscaper? I don't think I am. Why? Because I have a son. You don't believe in, oh, okay. I have a son.

You know what, I'm not gonna say another word. I like that. Yeah, make him do it. I like that. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna him to do it. Make him your gardener. Yeah, you know what I mean? Make him do it. Yes.

So here's the thing though. Make him earn something. How many fun toys did you buy him to do it with? I bought him, here's the thing, he, we bought him. Oh, he's gonna be on a fucking riding mower underage. I know it for sure. He got me very close to it. Dad, I can't walk the whole lawn! He got me this close to buying the right course. He was on Facebook marketplace

Yeah, I seconds away from buying a battery operated. What am I some Mexican? What I'm so what's that? Well, he got me goes dad. I could take it and make money around the neighborhood. I was like, oh he was starting an own business Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's an entrepreneur. Don went absolutely nuts. This is the one he almost got me on too. We bought him a leaf blower to rake the leaves in the backyard and he, I was gonna get him,

he wanted the backpack one where you throw it on your back like a machine gun fucking thing. And Don was like, no, you're getting the regular leaf. I was like yeah, but the other one the battery He was like what's the backpack one you throw it on your back and has two batteries in it Yeah, so it lasts longer how long you need a leaf blower to last I mean like at least an hour and a half No, no not gasoline the battery all battery get back electric electric lawnmower electric leaf blower electric weed wacker electric lawnmower Yeah, I do know that was a thing. Oh, it's the best. It's the best power. Yeah, there it is But no, that's the gas one the battery packed one. He wanted that but with the battery pack

It's I think it's called echo Mike I was telling me he was giving me a thing to like if you get a house the things that you know I was asking about things you'd want to get leaf blower. He says for sure you listen to me You know what you do. I'm telling what you do and I did it for the last 10 years Yeah, pay somebody to do all that shit. It's 30 40 bucks a month. Oh no bucks a week No, I'm gonna get a landscaper for sure. Yeah, but it'd be pretty dope to have a leaf blower. Yeah, that's the one Right. He wanted the backpack one. I want a backpack one. I you know, I should have got it I want a snow blower. I got one of those.

Electric, I got electric. I know, and you got one for the boy. I got one for him too. You got a mini one for the boy. Yeah, but he uses the big one now. So I don't even have to use it. So that little one was a complete waste of money. No, I use that on doing my little stairs

and little walkway stuff. He uses the big one. And last year he did three. He's convinced you was your idea and he's alpha dogged you right out of your own fucking snowblower? Buddy that you use the kids one of it's so great all right, son. That's fine You can shut up as long as he uses it. I got the gas one the gas ones a pain in the ass I had the gas

Lower the snowblower it works great, but it's a pain in the ass Isn't it better than the electric one? No, no. The electric one you might have to do twice. You might have to go out during the snowstorm and do it, and then do it again, but it's, dude, it's 10 minutes. Wait, what would be the difference between the gas one and you can do it twice? The gas one you can go out, you can just let it snow

and just go out there and rip through the snow. Oh, the big pig pile? Yeah. I'm gonna get the gas one, dude. Don't get the gas one. Why? Because you gotta know how to... It's also unbelievably loud. Electric is so much quieter. The electric one you just charge the... Jacob hang on yell more into your can it's not making it through the string to our can.

He scared the shit out of me actually when he started speaking. I don't know, yeah he goes, is that my head? I thought YouTube was coming here Yeah, Christine's are checking her tabs. Yeah, I get the I think it's a 80 volt Snowblower you're gonna have to you're gonna have to get a snowblower because the guys who come and do it When you need it that you might be the last one on their route, you know Friendly guy I'll be like the king of the neighborhood probably now Now if you tip him good, he'll come. Tip my dick. That's the kind of jokes I'll make

that'll make everyone like me a lot. I know. I do. He goes, you know we work for tips. I go tip of this dick. And then I put my hand up for a high five. He never gives me back. That's the one I got right there.

Yeah, blowing snow. Dude, it's got lights on it. It's the shit. It looks fun. It is fun. Where does it shoot the snow to? Wherever you want. You turn that, the is fun. Where does it shoot the snow to? Wherever you want. You turn that, the blower, you put it to the,

you have to learn to blow. So you go down first once. You go down to a neighbor? You go down once on the right side and blow it to the right, and then you come back up, sorry, come back up and you blow it. Liar. Cheater.

Cheater. Scumbag. You're gonna make my stomach have a voice. You're gonna make all kinds of. Yeahater. Cheater. Cheater. Cheater. Scumbag. Scumbag. You're gonna make my stomach have a voice. You're gonna make my stomach have a voice. You're gonna make my stomach have a voice. Yeah, you blow it that way.

You can blow it on the dog. Yeah, you can blow it on the dog. Oh, Lou, I almost forgot to introduce my new character. Remember my new character we had planned for so long and we never did anything with it? Yeah, I think so. They found out through DNA evidence possibly that Beethoven

was a Beethoven sorry, it's the broken console making noise Beethoven was black. It's very possible, but and I was gonna introduce my new character black Beethoven. Oh Shit There you go, if it ain't motherfucking Black Beethoven coming through, it's a different time down here. I don't know if it's before or after the Underground Railroad, but I'll tell you something. Black Beethoven ain't having it. What about those white bitches, Black Beethoven?

Yo, how about them white bitches? Am I crazy or is that bitch getting thick? Mmm, check out them ovaries. Yeah Roll a song about it You said peaches on your piano? I will play for peaches. I may be five eighths a person, but this is a 100% banger Yeah He's from a different time. That's the full name of the character impression. Black Beethoven. He's from a different time. That's the full name of the character impression black Beethoven. He's from a different time What's up, why do you get over here get your finance bitch up on this piano? Put your bitch up on my piano

You want me to get funky with it now Bobby Bring an extra pair of panties, ladies! Uh! Ooh! Yeah! Black Beethoven coming on through. Uh! Black Beethoven. It's so long ago. This is before we liked chicken. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What's grape soda? He's from a different time.

What the fuck? What's grape soda? He doesn't understand black stuff from now, he's from a different time. Do they really think? New ports, schmoo ports. Do they really think? Black fatal.

He might have been black, that's crazy, right? I like to believe he's definitely black. Is that him? Yeah, totally. Why, because he has crazy hair? That's just. Well, that's a, That's just an esching. It's a stiffen drawing of Yeah, totally. Why, because he has crazy hair? That's just- Well, that's a- It's a stippin' drawing of him, yeah. Yeah, that's a Dottism. They think that's- Who's that?

Samuel Coleridge. Oh, yeah, you think fuckin- He's British though. You think only the fucking Brits have black fucking composers? Fuck you, England. Black Bezo. Right here, what it says. Beethoven was as black as you and I. Yes. Who wrote that? Um, I'm gonna say.

That was written two years ago. A Stokely Carmichael, a guy named Stokely Campainer, raged against the deeply ingrained assumption that what European culture was inherently superior to black culture. Beethoven was as black as you and I, he told a mainly black audience in Seattle, but they don't tell us that. Now, the message didn't get through because most of the audience was talking amongst themselves. But nobody heard it.

They're eating chips. Nobody can hear the sound of chips Fuck that's funny 1 16th black that's enough for my character. Oh, that's a big old 1 16th Hell yeah, you is Get over here to stroll with me motherfucker Hell yeah, you is! Get over here and stroll with me, motherfucker. Though I want it to always be the funky disco one. It should always be Beethoven's fifth funky thing.

Who dat knockin' on the door? That's a disco song. It's motherfuckin' Black Beethoven. Heh. Heh. Bada-ka-dee-boom-bing-boom-ba-ka-dick-a-do. Oh, yeah. Christine, I pull your panties to the side. That's a lot of lip, girl.

They say I had big lips, but them some lips. Yeah, now I'm gonna play your Clinton C minor. I'm just fucking around, y'all. We don't eat pussy yet. Ooh. Yes, they still don't. 15 of my 16ths might eat your pussy, but this 1% is giving you that dirt. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha's a hit. He is a hit. Sorry, we were talking about home tools.

Um. You're gonna have to get, you get a house, dude. You're gonna have to. Mike just sent me a drill today. We're gonna get this drill. What's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Be a Dewalt for sure. Walt don't trust Mike. What type of drill though? Is it a hammer drill? Is it just a regular one? Don't okay. It's not the wall But before we start fucking poo pooing

Old Mikey Fanoia Milwaukee. It's a craftsman. No, come on fucking shitty product Let me see 1205 five-star reviews. Yeah craftsman 105 five-star reviews yeah craftsman It's available on Amazon. Yeah, it's black Friday week by the way I'll tell you what it is the craftsman 20-volt max impact driver kit quarter inch 2800 rpm LED work light battery and charger included you don't need an impact driver What do you mean? I know an impact drivers to go into like cement right you just need a drill to drill stuff in the wall

No, what if I want to go through cement you don't what are you gonna do that for me and Christine to drill fights in the house? No, you need a you need a drill like a hammer drill Slash regular like a regular drill would be better for you. What's wrong with this guy? It's 60 bucks Wow, dude, let me I'll send you the drill you're supposed to get the wall It's a Dewalt get a Dewalt or a Milwaukee, but is the Dewalt $60. Ah, dude. I'll send you the drill you're supposed to get. DeWalt? It's a DeWalt. Get a DeWalt or a Milwaukee. But is the DeWalt, is it gonna be an impact driver?

You don't need an impact driver. Who cares? You don't want an impact driver. I don't need a leaf blower if I hire Mexicans, but I'm gonna have one. You can't name them leaf blower. I'll take it. That's leaf blower, that's lawn mower.

That's what I'm gonna name landscapers. I call this guy deck stain. How many batteries does it come with? Just one? Well, depends if you get the backpack. Here, I'm gonna give you a tip right now. Whatever drill you get. Battery up?

No. Okay. Yes, but no. Whatever drill you get, whatever lawn mower you get, whatever weed whacker you get, whatever snow blower you get. No, they're but no whatever drill you get whatever lawnmower you get whatever weed whacker you get whatever Snowblower you get no they're all gonna be Mexican No, if you buy the snowblower actually might be Russian if you get a My landscaping crew weed whacker fucking rake I call that guy rake

and crew weed whacker fucking rake I call that guy rake Jacob you're getting it over there in Florida my landscaping crew Mexicans by the name of rake and snow and leaf blower I'm gonna help you out right now get all the same brand because the batteries in the snowblower interchange they all interchange so everyone comes with a battery when you have it charged up, if one dies out, just go take the one out of the weed whacker, throw it into the leaf blower. I don't mind that one bit at all.

But if I was you, I just wouldn't do it. For the first five years of having a house, pay somebody to do everything. And you get a pool, pay somebody to do it all. I just need to relax and do, what's the thing we found? Elliot Stabler is now pushing copper, copper things for your shoulders.

What? I sent that to you guys this weekend. Two things caught me back to back. It was the show on patrol, on patrol live. I was watching that, it's like basically cops, it's the show C cops. Yes, so cops. Yeah and On that show they always go back to a hub where it's three police officers talking Dan, what's his name? You love him Jacob Jacob Jacob

Yeah, I'm here. I know who you're talking. Yeah, what's his name? I don't have the new show because I know it's the old guy It's the same. It's the same. I have to say more guy Dan, whatever little you put an echo on him He's in a fucking well, it's Dan something Yeah, what is it Which McCall This guy so the three guys that do On Patrol Live, and I want you to bring them up in a second, it's hilarious, they are just three jacked older men

wearing the tightest sweaters, just talking about what they're seeing, he goes, sure hope it all works out over there for that family getting arrested in Des Moines. Hey, what do you think, and it's all, the way they stand, like everyone's just sitting like this and just talking in full Like, you know stiff-arm cop. It's really funny. They don't want to a commercial the way we're gonna be once we start doing testosterone

We're yoked. I can't really totally yoking and great Dan Abrams and Abrams. He's one of them but sticks Larkin Sticks Larkin is not a part of this no more Sticks Larkin is not big enough. Wait, is he the black guy? He is still part of it. I'm wrong. His name is Sticks? Yeah, I'm wrong.

But, no, you gotta get when they're, the actual on the show, when they're all sitting at the table together, it's actual on patrol life. But go back to, this commercial is what really shook my foundation. Is that Sticks? Is that Sticks right there? The black guy. Yeah

His sticks he plays the drums. No, because he's thin. Okay I don't know if so. Sean sticks larkin is not the black guy. Oh, he's a white guy. That was racist of me was um Tommy copper that's what it is. But here's my concern I feel like the picture on one of them the 18 second one Here it looks like it's trying to be funny. The one I was watching, I wasn't getting the air this was trying to be funny. This is Elliot Stabler, Chris Maloney,

doing a genuine pitch for a product and talking about how it helps his life. And it really made me laugh at how cringe this is. Wait till you see my true classic commercial that's coming out. See again, him lifting weights there looks like he's trying to be funny. It was this one?

No, I think it was the one up top. It wasn't if it's socks or something. No, it's everything. Onset was part of it. It was like a long one. Was it the one where he was naked? No. The naked one was ridiculous.

I didn't even see that one, no. The top, go up top, scroll up. Right there, bald. The second one. That one, he's naked. Fully naked in it. Yeah, that's definitely... Do it day in the life. Which is when he gets up.

Or in the back in neck pain. Pain is no match for Tommy Cup. This might be it. Yes, this is definitely it. There's no way I could get through my long day without it. And I'll do it all again tomorrow. That was earnest. That wasn't to be funny. He's like, Tommy Copper is really helping me out. And it's just like him on a set, like having rough takes with his shoulder. Opening a door that's already opened. Yeah. Oh. That was so infuriating.

He does have, he's in shape though. God damn it, look at that side cheek. Detective Stabler could get it, dude. He really can. I mean look at that. Christine would leapfrog me to fucking hop on Stabler's shit. He said he wore half tops. Huh?

Yeah, he does dress extremely gay. His naked only comes in one color. Yeah, see that's I mean what the fuck Well, it's also being funny. He's being funny, but it's not that funny because he's in shape. He's shredded Yeah, he's really just trying to show us what's going on the Eagles something happen with the Eagles I was just the next oh, I just saw you click that just real quick I thought maybe so Juan Barclay did something amazing or something bad happened to him. Don't say that ever. I won't. I won't. Don't say that ever. I won't. I won't.

Why would you say that? I don't know. It came out. He gets hurt every year. I may get hurt now. And this is his first year, and he's gotten through fucking 10 games. Oh, you son of a bitch. If he gets hurt this weekend, I'd be so not happy.

I'd be so disappointed in everything that I've ever said in my life. If he totally pulls a hammy and an Achilles, I would suck so bad. You remember that old Kurt Metzger had that joke years ago where he was like, uh... He said in front of his girlfriend, like, when he was watching TV that he wishes

that someone had cancer on the thing, and they were like, uh... And they were like, you shouldn't say that. Like, what would you do? What would you say if, like, they ended up getting cancer? He goes, well, I'd say you'd't say that. Like, what would you do? What would you say if they ended up getting cancer? He goes, well, I'd say you start better respecting me more, bitch. Because I have cancer-giving powers.

Is this, can you get, yeah, dude, when they're in the studio, I mean, they're tight shirts. Yeah, dude, these three, exactly. They are perfect. What are these guys, though? I don't understand what their show is. They're retired cops, for sure. They're retired cops, and what are they doing?

So they just send it around. They're like directors. They're like, uh, there's live police action happening with a few different, uh, departments. And they're out there doing their thing, and then these guys just, like, maestroed. It comes back to them. They're like, ooh, I hope that traffic stop seems to be getting a little dicey over there in Indianapolis.

Why don't we go over to Corpus Christi, Texas, where we still see what's going on with that warrant serving or whatever. It's just... How do they get the live feed? that traffic stop seems to be getting a little dicey over there in Indianapolis. Why don't we go over to Corpus Christi, Texas, where we still see what's going on with that warrant serving or whatever. It's just. How do they get the live feed? Through the body cam? I guess, yeah.

Here's also the show. The show's called On Patrol Live, and I have to believe I've never seen a live one. Like it's always. It can't be live. Well, it always says live, and there's a time where it's live, but I never see the live. It's like a It can't be live. Well, it always says live, and there's a time where it's live, but I never see the live,

it's like a prime time show probably that I never got to watch. Oh, so when it airs, it's live. Maybe? Jacob, do you know? No, I think that when it was live PV, I think the footage was live. Right, but this is still called On Patrol Live.

Can you look it up? How can you just show people on TV without having them released? They're piece of shit criminals. Yeah, but I don't think you could still show them live, their faces without them. Yeah, you just sign their names for them. Who cares?

Well, they got rid of all those shows. Cops and everything went away when Black Lives Matter happened. Black Lives Matter so much, you can't see cops on television anymore. That's how much they mattered um cheaters on the way to well cheaters was fake Which i'm feeling i'm breaking your heart by telling you that but i've unfortunately had that confirmed 80 times to me Even though i've fought believing that all of cheaters was 100 cheaters every single show was did you ever see down to the stabbing on the boat? Did you see my radio show?

About cheaters. Oh, we talked about it once. Yeah, you had like no. Oh my god Well to radio show all the people that submitted for cheaters. Yeah didn't get picked We interviewed those people nice and they were fucking mentally ill about cheating situations. They're Crazy. Look how do you can we just stop right now and how fast Christine typed in all that stuff about, here's a show, I did it with Gabby. She, go to- Whose idea was this? This was on Sirius.

Really? Yeah, scroll down. What year? This was like during the pandemic. Really? Cheaters was gonna do a show Well, the cheaters sort of came back Infinity frost go hit this guy's fucking out of his mind You want to find out for sure that she's cheating on you do you want to

Gather with her and have what a real relationship and I would like you to catch my mom's boyfriend cheating Paul. Right. And it would even the plus of the show of my ex being there as well. It doesn't have to be her but you could be her. It's 99.9% sure it's her camera no matter is I can't pay attention what he's saying because the camera is so close to both your and Gabby's faces. Look how fat my head was. Your head is big and fat for sure, but Gabby looks like the face, nothing's going together.

It looks like three different things are happening. Well, it didn't get picked up. What? No. No, I swear to God. Let's relaunch. No, no, let's not. I love the show Cheaters.

I used to watch, they made uncensored DVDs. I was real big on getting something uncensored that was censored. Yeah. Jerry Springer, I got that DVD. And all you were seeing, by the way, was hilarious. Paid porn stars that would come out and be part of a stupid bullshit story

on Jerry Springer's tits only. You could just, thinking of the times now, you could Google now that girl's name and watch her get gang banged because you saw her on Jerry Springer. And at that time though, you were like, nope, that was that hot chick that came out on Jerry Springer and I have to buy this DVD to see her tits that one time.

And what else did they do on censored? There's a cop's on censored that's pretty great. 30 minutes long only, but it's pretty good It's like the naked girl on the front of the car who won't leave No, no lady in a hallway. I don't know real though cops. Yes. Yes. Yeah, you know I did it I did an episode of real stories of the highway patrol member that show Yes, what was it reenactment? They would do the reenactments and I did one of the was a comedy show though, right? No, it was real. It was real stories from the Highway Patrol.

That was in the name, real stories. So we would reenact the real story of what happened. Of Highway Patrol. Because they didn't have cameras in the cars back then. So they would just tell the story, and then they would write it out, and they would cast it. And I was, um...

How boring are Highway Patrol stories? It was all right. I went in, this is funny. Had to throw a guy in the clink today for peeing on the side of a road. I had to go into the store, and so me and my friend go into the store and we robbed the store.

And first of all, they didn't have a, it was such a low budget thing. The gun I had was a Ruger from like Germany, like a fucking Nazi gun. Yeah, yeah. And they didn't tell people in the store, the only people that knew that this was gonna happen was the store clerk. They didn't tell people in the store

that we were coming in to rob the store. So two people had slipped into the store and I come in with a Ruger and rob it and the only thing that saved my life. In real time. We just went in, they went action, cause it was all like. You went in and robbed the place. Went in, give me the fucking.

What was this on? Whatever one of those channels, it was regular TV. Like Core TV, something like that? Something like that and then I went in, I'm sitting there robbing this person with this Ruger and There was an undercover cop behind me. Okay came into the store and thank God they yelled cut no they yelled cut Because I messed up something and they were cut cut they came in the crew came in behind me They go stop stop stop. He was give me all your give me all your money fucking ass shit

The cop take it from the top the cop the cop Snapped flipped out on the whole crew. He's like I'm I was five seconds away from fucking unloading a gun in this fucking kid you gotta you can't just come in and rob us you have to have a permit and all this shit and Did your manhood kick in there? We were like now? I just kind of fucking put bullets in me, dude. It ain't gonna go like that. No, talk that shit to whoever you want, but don't talk that shit to me. I was terrified, dude.

I was fucking terrified. And then we had to drive the car. There was no stunt, they bought a shit car for like 200 bucks. I had to drive this bucket down the road with the guy, the cop, the state trooper, who was actually in the thing, chasing me down the road. And then I had to take a left-hand turn. So I didn't give a fuck.

I just took, I go, dude, hold on. Just cut off traffic? I just cut the left and the car almost tipped over, jumped onto a bump. We went airborne, slammed down, the transmission fell out of the car, and we just rolled by the camera, and the car was dead. Jesus Christ. Then I had to get out of the car and we just rolled by the camera and the car was dead Jesus Christ, then I had to get out of the car and the cop chased me and actually tackled me in the fucking woods

In the winter in like the snow and just tackled me like I was a real criminal and it hurt me Yeah, Erica Strada. Everything was like one take everything was one take and they shot the thing I can't find the episode real Real Stories of the Highway Patrol. From 1993 and 1994. Something like that, yeah. Crazy. I remember the name of that show. They could never do this show now.

They would just hire shitty actors. 150 bucks. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, there it is. Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, damn. These are all reenactments on the lowest budget you could possibly do. I wonder if you found them. Wow, the first hour flew by. This is our last live show. This is it. These are all reenactments on the lowest budget you could possibly do

Flew by Is our last live show this is it the week we have a pre record coming out tomorrow for you guys Are you guys gonna are you gonna flake on Thanksgiving? I feel like you flaking Christine just gave you this she just gave you the did you tell him eyes you just gave him yeah You did you just gave yeah, you did you just gave him you told them already You just gave him yeah, you did you just gave me yeah, you did you just gave him you told them already When I said are you gonna flake this weekend? She looked at you like did you tell him already? Oh, I thought she looked at me kind of like no. I was like are we flaking? Yeah You gave him the did you tell him eyes? No, are you flake? Look at me Christine. Are you flaking? No Yeah, you are. We're not flaking. You're coming. Yeah.

We're trying to, we're calculating puppy time and her being alone and how long that can be. Well, if you come at four, right, we have dinner at five, five thirty, and then you're home by seven. What? You have five? How do you guys eat?

Whoa. We're good. Five. Giant spoons you shovel you show your fucking face 30 I know your timing Bobby is what you said why you five thirty you'll be home by seven that gives us by your Calculations 30 minutes, but we got to be out Why don't you bring the dog leave her in the cage in the in the garage? No, no, you don't want her being the whole I would be really upset if we got doodles sick.

This sucks. Yeah, the noises the dog's making sucks. It sounds like she's like gagging. It's all in the hole. No, my Kelby had the kennel cough, it's terrible. Yeah. It's from putting her in a kennel, right? No, they just said in New York City,

she's just, I mean, we're at the dog park every day, there's always dogs around. The vet said there's like a ton of cases. She's like, I'm gonna hype something up, we're at the dog park every day thing, make her sound like a better dog mom, that she is. They're not at the dog park every day. She goes to the dog park every day. She's gonna I mean five out of seven days. Sorry

I've been many times where Christine's been like all dog this hasn't been able to go to the thing at all this week Or like we haven't gone at all this week to the dog park. So let's not get stolen valor So I said that last week. I mean, it's like I'm gonna take her to the dog park in a couple days. That's how we took it a dog park How many you say fire I accidentally took her after she was coughing on that? Now I can't take her right. Oh shit. We gotta take a break. All right. Well, are our guests here? Yes, they are So you so you are coming? Yeah, you're coming. Yeah, okay good We're gonna stay for 25 minutes You stay as long as you want. We thought't be mad at you for just throwing that on her

No, she was so excited who's all coming Jim Norton and Nikki are coming and you and I'm gonna get max to say weird stuff Buddy, please he he loves you and he follows you. Please don't do it. I'm gonna tell him Did you know make me I'm gonna go like max You know what would make me so cool in your eyes No don't Why don't he's a young man, but it's fine. Just not the front I'm gonna go take him outside for a walk and be like hey, man I'm looking at ways to make my wiener bigger

Please don't I'm starting to think it's just about getting my above pubis, my super pubis sucked out. Hey, talk to the kids in school about your super pubis. Alright, we'll be right back. Yeah.