The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - "Nice To Meet You" (feat. Ron Bennington, Louis Katz, Shane Gillis, Mike Finoia, Monroe Martin, Derek Gaines & Ted Alexandro)

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

Dan Soder tells us about looking like an asshole to Sebastian Maniscalco. Louis Katz joins the show and discusses the polyamourous wedding he attended in New Orleans and "Woke Dangerfield is born. Ron... Bennington & Shane Gillis reminisce with Jay about the simplicity of being raised by lunkheads. Monroe Martin, Derek Gaines join in on figuring out a look for Mike Finoia, Poncho Mike. Ted Alexandro stops by and the guys talk about road life.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon. And I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8pm on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire sxm uh... real quick before we get into our weekends
Starting point is 00:00:28 lu just brought up something that happened when we left the show to today that makes me feel like a gigantic asshole what you do asshole i'm a fucking huge asshole what you do huge asshole so lu is leaving us for his his first family we all know on this we're a second family yeah of the people we love
Starting point is 00:00:46 So Pete Sebastian He's a bachelor talking about Korean Sebastian in Calco that he loves more than us. Not true. By the way, so um, so this is what happened We walked out of the building. I was going home From the show and I walked out in Sebastian's there and it fucking threw me out. I was like, oh fuck Sebastian I mean, I'm you know, I watched the guy it's still one of the people that started that like throws me off I don't know well and I go I go like, oh fuck, Sebastian! I mean, I'm, you know, I watched the guy, it's still one of the people that like throws me off. I don't know as well. And I go, hey, man.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Jesus, Dan, you're fucking, you just fucking maxi pad for your panties. I know, sorry, I was so, I saw my knees got silly. Yeah. I don't know what to do. I went to shake his hand and then I sort of hit a hug him. No, but I was stoned and I tried to kiss his neck.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Yeah, I, yeah. I don't know what happened. I hugged him. Weird. I went high with both arms. I fell down don't know what happened. I hugged him. Weird. I went high with both arms. I fell down and he picked me up and I just felt whole. No, but I saw him. I think I got a little pee on his Bruno Mali shoes. Oh, no, but what I actually did was like,
Starting point is 00:01:38 Oh, hey man, nice to meet you. And I said nice to meet you and he'd been on our show. Yeah. Yeah, and I, you didn't know he did a whole show with us? I, we spoke a lot of pot, Jay. Then it just erased your entire memory. No, it was up in the office. I remember it once, yeah, once I remembered, I remembered.
Starting point is 00:01:53 But real quick, I think you're show. Yeah, I just felt like you're saying nice to meet me. I, it was one of the why? Oh, he's your dude. Yeah, but when you're throwing off by seeing someone fast that you don't see regularly, I was like, ah fuck, hey nice to meet you. I love you. I love you.
Starting point is 00:02:10 You're very handsome. I'm gonna go. Oh my god, you smell so good. Yeah. I want to be you and everyone wants to be with you. I got to go. Oh, man. Oh god, I got a poster of you on my ceiling and I just want the tape to get out.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I love you. Hey, I'm Dan your sweater game is tight Oh shit Sebastian you're good. You're good at comedy. You kill funny So Lou told me that right before I went on air and I was like god damn it Can you please apologize to Sebastian again for me? I'm feeling like a real dick Look at what I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I'm still up on my head about what was with that weird guy This is what memories does he keep in that head. I don't if not meeting me He's done impressions of me and he doesn't even wreck it guys
Starting point is 00:03:04 Talk about it. Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, it's fan today me and he does even record guys. I know. Wow. I know too. I'm comfortable. Can I talk about it? Yeah. Yeah, we talked about it in the air. Oh, it's fan-tags. And I played them a little bit of Chicago Dicks. No, man, it could be a nice and angry.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I love Coryoay. No, I didn't hear it. I didn't post. Look how happy that's the happy server has seen Louis in a pic. Oh, my God. He's beaming. Literally beaming. Oh, fucking dad and dad showed up for it.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Yeah, I see him. I'm too dad. I'm sorry. We have to be here through the rough times telling you to do your homework and clean your room. Do we represent two guys? Are we just your stew? Are we your stew show and that's your dad? Oh man.
Starting point is 00:03:32 They do the same thing to me, you guys are doing to me now. So I'm just in the middle and I'm just trying to get by, man. No, you fucking like spending time with. Your father broke my heart so bad I had to forget about him. These two rotini noodles, you're spending all your time with I don't like it He goes and then you listen to their show and they go why are you hanging out with these gas station sand witches? Yeah, I heard he eats his sandwiches from a gas station You do that I would do is after a film right now, but I'm still gunshot. I bet you are
Starting point is 00:04:08 You know new Orleans like this little mini bubble. Yeah, you know, so it's all kinds of freaky shit I've never been how were you invited to this one? It's um my girlfriends friend by everybody. Yeah We want Louie to be involved Louie I can see myself not getting laid at a poly wedding. That's how my luck is Polyamorous one I walk around dry I respect everybody I respect everybody Do much. Yeah, I respect everybody equally Yeah, take a knee. How about you take two? That's what the system's been doing
Starting point is 00:04:50 I'm telling you I'm walk Rodney Dangerfield Woke Dangerfield? Woke Dangerfield Show me something you can do I'm telling you everyone's equal Do Hannah Gatsby Yeah, just I'm in my prime Yeah, a woman is never a 16 year old girl. She's never in a prime
Starting point is 00:05:14 I've been on the runway Yeah, you gotta find that out how did I find that out of the bus stop? Do uncles. Do uncles told me. What nature feels. Or danger feels great. Our guest host today, you know, sitting in from the Bennington show on Faction Talk,
Starting point is 00:05:38 Ron Bennington, and now also joining us in studio. It's Shane Gill. It's Shane is shank. He'll us everybody. You know show fame without what up Wasn't there beauty in being raised by lumps to some degree? That's just over now. You're being raised, but you're being raised by woke Curly must-dash barista queefs, you know, I mean like there's a simplicity to life Like you understand how life works pretty early. My dad gave me very few life lessons at all, but he did give me all. He definitely wanted his son to be like, by the way, he probably saw how not manly I was getting being raised by him so much.
Starting point is 00:06:15 It probably made him very nervous because he would give me all of those. Like, and I applied them as best I could, but all of those like, don't waste all the time talking. If the guy's talking to shit, he's not going to frayed the most. like hit him first. I'll never see that coming It was my dad's rule was literally like always throw the first punch And then I was like so you just went around fucking sucker punch Don't even wait for there to be a problem I'm undefeated chain and then his rule too is never getting a fight you definitely can't win
Starting point is 00:06:41 And then his rule too is never getting a fight. You definitely can't win. I like that also. He just was going around soccer punching little guys. And that's street smarts. That is street like you don't fight anybody. Yeah. Well, I had to numbers as long as a great idea. But I remember like I was 17 and I was in Canada
Starting point is 00:06:59 when I found out that people don't jump in for their friends when there's a fight. I was working in a carnival. And so, you know, we would always be fucking around with the local girls because, you know, they could fuck us and then nobody would know when they're dumped down. Right. So, this boyfriend was looking for a friend of mine.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I'm like, don't fucking worry because he was worried like a Canadian. Don't worry, there's fucking nine of us. We'll stop him. and the other guys are going like this. Like look it's gonna be a fair fight. I go what what do you mean? I didn't I had never heard you say what fair fight for my life. I go I'm fucking constantly second and third into a fight. I'm not gonna be first. I don't think I've ever been a part of a jumping before but I've been a part of a big group going to see a fight and one of the fighters is in our group.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Right. We have had that and other fights have broken out, but it's never been just like a pile on. I couldn't do that. I actually, I just weirdly have too much conscience. No, actually, no, it's, you'd be surprised how quickly you can get into it. Yeah. When your friends are kicking someone that's on the ground, you jump in.
Starting point is 00:08:05 That's absolutely right. Yeah, it's fun. You're the fastest. You joke around a little. It's one of the best things that ever happened to you. One time I was in a fight, I mean, this fucking guy were rolling around in a fucking parking lot, right? And his friend, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Yeah, it was rolling around in a fucking car. It was a little bit fucking gay. And there was a guy that, it was a little bit, a little bit of fucking gag. And there was a guy like that was cheering against me. Like, fuck him up, fuck, you know what I mean? And when I got up off the ground, I smashed his face into a front of a car. Just fucking ran out of him and his face went right into a front of a car. And like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:08:40 I go, I thought you were fucking sounding really fucking strong over here a minute ago. Just the fucking pussy is sucker. Just like I threw a fucking block into his head, into the front of a car. This is how nuts you are when you're younger. Oh yeah, I did, when I got in my one actual fight in Ohio when I lived with my dad. Yeah. And he was like, cook ass, don't fucking let these kids talk shit about you. School and follow you home. Because I wasn't afraid of them,
Starting point is 00:09:07 I just didn't want to get in trouble. And the next day I was like, oh, the first guy who says, because you're fighting Marcus today and I went and fought Marcus and that was the end and that fight was over. I helped him up and like banged his head into a back of a car window,
Starting point is 00:09:21 like one of those station wagon windows and everyone was even kind of like, even the people watching that were like, ooh, they were like, Jesus Christ. I was a little weird. And my dad was like, you gotta make them know you're crazy. So they don't do this again tomorrow. We got to fight, I went to the Catholic High School
Starting point is 00:09:37 in my town and we fought the public school. And it was great. But some places play pickup basketball or football. We just got to fight at a park, at Cozure Park. It's known as the Cozure Park Massacre. We outnumbered him a lot. We thought they were going to bring a lot more than they did. We ended up just jumping these kids.
Starting point is 00:09:56 They showed up. They were like five showed up. We had like 20. But I remember we invited our friend, Bison. You know, shout out, Bison, what up, boy. He's like, 400 bucks. Bison's smile right now, it's just fucking a cigarette. Big kid, and he was out of high school, he was like 24.
Starting point is 00:10:13 He was like 16, we invited him. He was 16. All right, all right. You know I love high school fights, I get bigger, they stay the same size. He was so much bigger that he found, actually, they're starting running back and he was doing wrestling moves to him.
Starting point is 00:10:31 In this fight, he gave him a fucking lion tamer. Really kid was, he gave him a lion tamer and the kid was crying while he was giving him a lion tamer. It was crazy. Crying is begging for help when someone's got their hands clasp under your chin. Crazy. lifting you up.
Starting point is 00:10:44 That's really great. A lifting you up. That's really great. I'm all in tamer. That's it. Did he broke the walls down? He gave me a real life. Is having a kid crown the bomb? The kid on the bottom was like, Hi, mister, take it easy, mister. That's so funny because I think you can just get out of that. I think you rolled your head on when the guy's like 350 pounds. The line has been of that. I think you can roll your head on it. When the guy's like 350 pounds, the line has been tamed. I'd never even gotten the fights with people older than me at any phase.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Always like my age generally. And maybe I guess it's like an older, it may have been older people. I wouldn't have looked it that way, like you know, 23, 25 or something, but I never went backwards. I was never like 15 and beat up like an 11 year old. I punched a kid once.
Starting point is 00:11:24 When you were a kid, when I, I was drunk at a high school basketball game. Okay, and my friends were my friends Little brothers were in like six or seventh grade and they're like, hey, this kid's picking on us. I fucking punches him. It's not good. People were like, Jesus, mister. Yeah, like now he picked on that kid though. You know what, it was Kozupark massacre too. Hell yeah. America's a me go everyone. You know, you love them.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Of course, Mikey Fenoyah. Yeah. I've just commit. I want this nose ring. I'm showing up with it. Never gonna say I wanted these tattoos. I'm just getting it man. Is what it is. I want to wear these bracelets, never gonna say. I wanted these tattoos, I'm just getting it, man, is what it is.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I wanna wear these bracelets, but big, big decisions. Like I can never, ever go back to being a chain guy. And my heart and hearts, I want to. What do you mean chain guy? Like a necklace guy? Like a necklace guy? I can't. What would you get though?
Starting point is 00:12:19 I don't know. Like I'm, I don't know. I don't know, what are my thoughts? My thoughts are still like, you know, a silver thing with a Wu-Tang symbol, but I Won't do that Yeah, I don't know a dog tag But I would have to get something fake emotional so people couldn't laugh at it
Starting point is 00:12:35 What I mean like some saint No, but yeah, maybe like the Jewish dogs I'm Jewish tempered I don't care about being Jewish that much that though. Yeah, I don't care about being Jewish that much. That's that though. Yeah, I don't care about being Jewish really even that much to make that a thing. I couldn't throw fake into that, but almost, you know, like the comedy mask, a microphone.
Starting point is 00:12:54 That's not like that. I had a meeting with an agent member, and she said, you just don't have a look. I don't have a... I don't know what the story on the air actually when you weren't here one day, and I said, because it struck me that you called me to...
Starting point is 00:13:09 And I get it, because when I heard it, my instinct was to be like, what a bitch. Yeah. Like saying, you gotta find a look, like you have to find some sort of a look. And when you say it to me, I'm like, jeez, that's a shitty thing for someone to say. And then I thought about it for a second, I go,
Starting point is 00:13:21 there's things I do, I mean, my look is definitely calculated. I mean, it's what I want to wear, but I'm not faking it, but I'm not faking it, but it's like, it's my excuse, if I worked it like, you know, Chick-fil-A, and I wore knuckle gloves and a scarf in my back pocket or a chain, it would look really ridiculous,
Starting point is 00:13:41 because I've seen that before, everybody hanging on their own style and a fucking 7-11 costume They look ridiculous. Yeah, so I have been to have a job where I can look the way I want to look just from head to toe Ultimately, now you know what's funny though is that like to think about how to what would it look like? I don't know how to fucking I never was anybody like that. I wear a grateful dead shirt or a fish shirt in jeans And that's it and that's all I that's it. I'm not gonna be somebody else. No, what I mean? For all my life prior to doing stand-up, I had to wear a suit. I had a corporate sales job where I
Starting point is 00:14:12 had to every day wear a suit. I had to dress. I couldn't even imagine. It drive it. It drove it. Dude, wearing a tie is like wearing like like a dainty fucking somebody choking like a baby choking you all day. And that was one of the best parts about like throwing it all away and that was one of the best parts about like Throne it all away and doing stand-up was like Let's just start wearing just like those like like ponchos all the time on stage. It's just libousky. Yeah male pattern boldness. It's called that look Yeah, that's hilarious male pattern boldness
Starting point is 00:14:43 Mike be a poncho guy look at these stylish poncho. I'll wear a poncho. Hell yeah Pondcho summer poncho. You know, it's good about the poncho You can sweat underneath that and you won't have any sweat rings. Oh, there's your one. There's your one for your special Oh, there it is. I don't know dude. Fuck look. It should just be about how funny you are Yeah, here's a problem though You can start separating from a bajillion really funny people There's just a gazillion people out there just as funny as I am It's something about figuring out how to put it together and some package. I wish they we I don't know look
Starting point is 00:15:14 It still surprises me, you know This show is a lot of the draw I just had like such anxiety like my my asshole tightened up thinking about like if I changed my look And I like the minute before walking into the seller for the first time being like Shit, I wonder if anybody's gonna notice I'm wearing a poncho My poncho and and hat it's just such a weird just be I just wish you could just be fucking just be you But you know what? I'm gonna hold a threat Mike Mike Don't even come in here and look me in the eyes and tell me somehow you is not into Being poncho Mike. I would love poncho Mike. I would be I would love to be poncho Mike one of your characters
Starting point is 00:15:53 You're on your show with that Like you go and then maybe like Dan when he became layer of the cable guy poncho Mike like like Mike Fenoy just become poncho might come so popular. They forget him Mike Fenoy is you're okay with Pancho Mike doing four shows the garden. Yes I am. Pancho Mike four days of the garden. I'll do it right there. I'll do Pancho Michael do four days at Olive Garden right now.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Everybody you ready to have a good party time? Amigo. Yeah, Lakomita Fiesta! You guys ever noticed when you're on a bus Amigo, yeah, la comida fiesta You guys ever notice when you're on a bus the chicken's got better season you am I right? That's what punch your mics experience has been with it Punch your mind You ever get in pretty deep with the cartel and then they don't give you your money They promise you and then turn you in when the FBI get involved that's been posh
Starting point is 00:16:52 Mike's experiences I'm on for it you ever go to a taco place they give it to you on a flower tortilla? I go get this, this is supposed to be Mexican food. They say no here a taco bell, but that's only punch on my exes. If you can't play the drum any singing music, I liked it better when it was called Don't Handley, but that's just Pancho Mike's conspiracy asses! Lou, you want to, you want to Pancho Mike T-shirt, which is just a Pancho. It's the merch, it's just a mic. It's just a mic. That should be the word of a shitty Panch with the word Mike across it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Hallepeo hot going in. He's hot or coming out, but that's just been posh on my Stereo's hair. I Think we go and take our first break now. We've been back out with me right back after first break now we'll be right back after intermeasure it's the bonfire white keys got time out intermeasure hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi We'll be right back easy bonfire Joining us in studio you can catch their podcast no need for apologies on iTunes. It's been Roman and Derek gains everybody Thank you. Thank you. Where'd you get your Jeff Goldblum shirt? I brought it on mine. I played the safe route. Oh, yeah for you
Starting point is 00:18:45 Thank you. It's a great shirt. You said you wore the shirt to see if, okay, so we had a debate and somehow we got on the topic of Jeff Goldblum because Chloe was like she follows them and Jeff Goldblum posted a thirst trappy photo of his crotch. Uh, uh, uh, look at my penis. Yes. Yes. My penis. Yes. And look at my penis. Yes, my penis. Yes, bigger than you thought. Bigger than you thought. Bigger than you thought.
Starting point is 00:19:10 I got to do all the impressions. Yeah, I was like, something's up. So does that I got to do impressions now. Yeah. Monroe, a black stone wear shirts with my face on them generally. No. No. She followed them. And he she kept so she was like, oh, she got
Starting point is 00:19:28 all hot and bothered over Jeff. She did get hot and bothered. And then it was like, wait, why are you weird like this? She was like, what? Jeff Goldblum is like a sex symbol. And I was like, what? So she kept going, no, like black people fuck with Jeff Goldblum, black women fuck with Jeff Goldblum. And I'm like, but it's not like JT or Robin Thickey has none of that sauce to him. He doesn't have any sauce. So then as like a joke, I ordered the shirt just to see how many black people
Starting point is 00:19:55 would see the shirt and go, yo, I fuck with that shirt. No, no, no, no. Oh, white people, cool shirt dude. I didn't know it was all of the forest. I honestly thought it was laundry day for Monroe I said radical when I saw it. I gave him a whole coke and rip it from a I said right Row rip it rip it Roar styling Roy got a perfect litmus test because we ran this by Roy Wood and he broke it down.
Starting point is 00:20:27 It was like, well, if Jeff Goldblum was in the hood at three in the morning at a convenience store, is he getting robbed or is he getting props? I think he's getting rolling papers. There you go. I think he's getting snappled. So do you think people would rob them or do you think people go yo Jurassic Park, I think he would be they would he would be getting props black people out Jurassic parks, right? Actually, I think you're right. What white guys are known for attracting black women
Starting point is 00:20:58 I'll tell you I watched recently again the up-and-smoke tour. I was in the road I just put it on the background on YouTube and right before M&M, this is right when he first came out that tour. There's just before he comes out, it's just all like testimonials and the audience, you know, in the concourse, just black women going like, M&M, my boyfriend, he didn't even know, yeah, like he's the finest white boy and they they loved M&M. Uh huh. I think that. I was just with things black people love them. I don't think it's true What about Woody Harrelson? No, no, you gotta stand Thor gets the women hot Get black women hot Thor gets the blue. I got Aquaman. I guess Christine's fucking oh Jason Momoa
Starting point is 00:21:36 Yeah, but he's not white though. He's not Christine's coach gets all nodded up Maybe she's some kind of like weird What are you, Armenian? She's some eyebrow-y place. She's just pale black. I like that. No, uh, when black women do like Jason and Mo'akshade, they do. They Simonez married to.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They fuck with him. Yeah, yeah. I guess he fucks with them too. Everybody fucks with Jason and Mo'akshade. Yeah, hanging out with this Ted Oaxandro, his new special senior class of Earth available now. It's the first week and 13 weeks that I'm not on the road, and it feels weird. Because it feels like you're not doing something.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Yeah, like not going to stand up. You got married recently. I got married. We just had our first anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you. What was the change like for her to learn about you on the road? Oh, she loves what I'm got.
Starting point is 00:22:26 I mean, I love it. I love living with Becky Ellenboy and he's on the road and I'm not. I'm like, this is the greatest. Christine says she gets like a loan, but to some degree, there is no way she's enjoying a lot of it. There's elements of you have to really enjoy. I do enjoy it. I like the loan time.
Starting point is 00:22:42 It's nice. I have actually been like, I don't know how people just do the relationship thing every day all day long Never get a break from each other, but like when Jay did 11 weeks You're starting like sad and lonely and also you have to kind of change your rhythm You watch we go out like a single person when I'm not single so Towards the end of it like a couple weeks is fine But I've had times where I'm like, I miss my fucking boyfriend, like we work together for three days, he's on the road for three days,
Starting point is 00:23:09 family day, and then the same thing next week, I'm like, are we even fucking dating or are we just working together now? You know what, even spiraling. I get a couple of days a week, three days a week, she could watch whatever, she wants to watch on my magnificent televisions. She doesn't have to stay on guard for random physical attack
Starting point is 00:23:23 by me for things or mental Hospital corners that have not been made or yeah, or yeah, or possible verbal attacks that come out of nowhere Well, maybe watch the text and teach your lessons by breaking her belongings in front of her I think it bears mentioning that I I mentioned the dynamics with my wife Jay and Christine and you chimed in with you and Becky Oh, that's like that's why I said I was gonna yeah I got I need to send him some flowers I feel bad I was gone for 13 weeks Yeah, I hope he doesn't feel like he needs a new roommate. Well, I definitely feels like you haven't been there for him
Starting point is 00:23:54 When he's needed you Sorry, he comes home is feeling bad about his career and he goes you know cheer me up Dan and then he comes home just a cold room because your windows, you left with your window open, did you know it was going to get, you didn't know it was going to get cold on them? Did that actually happen? Of course it did. He goes, he goes, you left your window open when you went to San Diego and I got too cold in here and I was like, baby girl, it's gone.
Starting point is 00:24:15 I couldn't get enough blankets to make myself feel warm without you. So who sleeps naked in this room? Jacob. There's a, there's a sleep nude confidence that none of us besides Jacob have. Do you sleep nude? A few times a year. A few times I us besides Jacob have do you sleep nude a few times a year a few times I like that it's a few times It's alone in a hotel room always No, it's it's with my wife
Starting point is 00:24:34 in Hotel no because I Can control the temperature better there than I can in my apartment in New York Sure, I'll tell them so I'll do it a little bit. I'll sleep naked a little bit, because like no one, I wouldn't do it in front of Christine's I love her in respect. Right. I wouldn't put her through that scene.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Not to naked before? Yeah, I know. This is so weird, though. It's like a manatee hug in a stingray. When you sleep, when you sleep. I mean, Jacob loves a quad-acumorant, hall man. He's, yeah, he is. That is a sub-time.
Starting point is 00:25:04 He's throwing a good, he's in naut hall man. Yeah, that is a sub-time. He's throwing a good. He's in nautical jokes. Right? Yeah. Where is that Amazon Prime video? Yes, Jay, please do a special call, leagues above just about C here. Leagues above.
Starting point is 00:25:18 There is 20,000 leagues below decency. In below decency, the J. There's such a funny part about sleeping with your significant naked, your significant other naked, and then the point where you get up to go pee and you're like, I should put pants on, I should put shorts on. I was going to watch a little weird ass walk out of the way. That is true. You go cold weiner and you're like, weird.
Starting point is 00:25:38 You get back in and you're like, I'm not sexualized at all. Neither the front nor the back. You have to start kind of sidestep out. Oh, weird. front nor the back of you have to stop kind of side step out. Oh, we're here. Fuck that. I'm not even on shorts. I'm walking on a call. But it seems that if I tighten my butt it gets very little and then it gets like little lips in the middle. Lips. Yeah, it gets the lips in the mirror. Like doesn't it? It can look like it lips. I don't have no but. Yeah, I have no but.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Mine's the worst. Maybe weird. I think it'd be weird to be a dude with a fat ass Look at this put dog. Oh, yeah Dantes like Dante's got just a fat round. Oh, his is really nice And then what's the kid Chris Scopo? Oh Scopo mean ass. I don't know if I've seen it. Look at that. There we go. Look at these guys butts. Oh, they're all good. Bulbas.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Oh, that's what I want to live my life. By the way, that's my, that's my post. When I would stand the smoke cigarettes up back in my place and long, I would do that with my basketball shirt. So I'd pull them halfway down the cheek. And just if I feel with my hand, I can believe that's what's happening with my ass. But's not it's just a big chalky blocky nothing with a
Starting point is 00:26:49 split down the middle of it. Dude that is great. I gotta get some lifters like that. Dude let's get butt lifting underwear. Can we get butt lifting underwear and try it on? See who's got the round his ass? That's what I want. Me and Dan are gonna have cakes. Yeah you get got the round this ass? That's what I want. Me and Dan are
Starting point is 00:27:05 gonna have cakes. Yeah, get ready for a fucking ass on me. Hey it's Big J. Elkerson and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8 PM Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95 or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SXM. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
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