The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Nipple Hair Shnipple Hair

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

Jay and Dan are back in studio today for The Bonfire and talk body hair, sex stories, and a sad man living in a garage.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com @BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com #CrackleCrackle

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. My first girlfriend had nipple hair. Nipple hair? Yeah, just like one long white one I found. Wow, did you get rid of them?

I Didn't tell her about it. I mean we were 17 so I I didn't know that was could be a thing. No, it's not an uncommon thing, but you have to handle it Which I've done so I said she's not uncommon at all. I think Cardi B made a video talking about having nipple hair She has to pluck out it happens. Yeah, it doesn't freak me out. I wouldn't freak it. I think freak out more. Christine saying why I leave, but I'm trying to say that Christine has nipple but I've I've saw them once 10 years ago by accident once they're they've they've they're never a thing. They're not there. I have hairy calves. Yeah. Good chop up, blue. You know, I mean, I don't even know if Christine has to deal with them to not be a thing constantly because they're just never there

I know it exists is my point. Yeah, but there was a girl I told that story a long time ago. I mean my buddy Glenn and Mike Vada met a girl on the internet Early on like age sex location ship. Yeah, and we drove over to her house. We were all like 17 We drove over to her house and like she was gonna let us all fuck her. We were. We were playing Truth or Dare with her, but like nobody wanted to because earlier before that, in Truth or Dare, she was like, she wanted like two different guys to suck her nips at the same time. And we were like, yeah, sure, she wasn't a very attractive girl. More where we very attractive guys.

But like, that's what the internet was for. Yeah, and uh, yeah, she was a professional. She wasn't supposed to get her. Yeah, she probably wasn't like, holy shit, these guys are for. Yeah, and, yeah, she was a professional. She wasn't supposed to get there. Yeah, she probably wasn't like, holy shit, these guys are hot. Oh, look at these beef, look at this train of beef cans. But in her world, it probably was like, oh, this is good. Yeah.

So like she, and then we went in the sucker, nips two of us, like both so right away, like, oh, there was a lot of hair. A lot of hair. Yeah, on like a fat small tit too. And it just was, yeah, and so. What, how long was the hair? Was it like buzz cut short or yeah on like a fat small tit too and it just was yeah and so how long was the hair was like buzz cut short or was it like a long it wasn't stubble okay no it was like like laying hairs and like probably like five or six per nip I don't know I may have touched

the tongue to it I've been like there you go It's like when you get a kid to try vegetables. But when she was like, she was like basically like to fuck, all of us like fuck through you guys fuck me on this pool table essentially, I think, or air, or something like that, or basement. When she went upstairs, one of us just said, we just gave ourselves, it was such a child thing, like an escape, one of them goes,

I think she's calling the cops on us, like why? We call the cops knows for what there's no reason to call the cops And we bold past I mean we ran out of that house probably woke her parents up like running out of the house And she was just kind of like what are you guys doing like where you going really? Uh-uh are you going to get us it was just like all no one wanted to admit that like you're scared well I don't even was the nipple hair was also probably morving so at that age It's the world it was then it's not the world today that where everyone's probably exposed like sex younger maybe but like for me

It wouldn't have been the first time I had sex, but it was like maybe what was that before the maybe maybe it was before What up? Yes, maybe I was like 16 or 17. What a unique way to lose your virginity if that was off the internet on a air hockey table Three-way gang bang with me and my friends with my father with Glenn and Mike Voddett hanging out being like all right ready game All right, he wants to push first. Okay, whoever finished gave sitting the car Whoever finishes hold the other ones clays. Yeah, dude don't finish on me. What do you get? Yeah friendly fire, dude. Yeah, you're getting you're getting come over my leg. Yeah, you just pat tell them in me. Yeah, that is friendly fire. Friendly fire. We hauled

that out of there, but again, it wasn't just her nipple air I understand excuse of like are we like what if we Fucking in front of your friends at that young of an age like first of all you're gonna expose to them the things you Don't do it when I watch Kurt Metzger bang. It was the fucking it was such a different level of our friendship I was like, oh god, is that how he does it? He just goes all blank doll eyes and just looks perfect. It was like breeding. Hey gang. Black glue and Jacob, they're on zoom. Yeah, they're just seeing you like what your humps are and your pumps.

I mean, we couldn't do this show for every face. Your faces. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, if anybody out there wants a bonfire double tea Let me just tell you that ship is sailed. Yeah, that's died. We're too good a friend. You had to catch me 15 years Not even two good friends the level of friends. We are at 25 26 27 maybe I probably would have been like dude this girl was fuck is fun just fuck us both yeah now all the girls like

I want to fuck you in your buddy. I'd be like just fuck my buddy It's like it's like'm gonna say I got leftovers. Here's why. I got leftovers at home. It's a method to the madness of that statement. Ah, nah, you just fuck my friend. The method to the madness there is you don't get rejected them because I told you I made that mistake once with Dorosa.

Oh my god. I was like, just picking, she was all up in my shit. I was like, this girl's gonna pick me and then Joe just popped in like super late in the game. And I opened the thing, she's like, I'll write it down who I want to stay. And then it said Joe and I opened it. And then we're opening it and saying like,

this you want to stay, right? Yeah, that one you want to leave. And she was like, mm-hmm. And I was like, that's cool. I'll be honest with you, I lost the fight. It's before laptops. It's before laptops, everything. So I'd be on the road with nothing.

You go, you maybe I had a video games, hopefully. But you're like, now I probably wouldn't play some video games anyway. And like, but I'm gonna go to a diner. I'm gonna grab some food. You guys have a blast. I have a lot of sex. Joe really give it to her.

Joe, powder sword. You're so hot, sexy apparently. Are you fucking hot? If you go, if someone's like like oh, I would love to get a You and your friend that would ever I'd be like oh just just Because then if you go now that we're not gonna do it together So which one of us do what a fuck it? They go. Oh, then him you're I'd rather just be like no not sweetheart. I'm making the decision. I will it sorry about you know

What I lived in Tucson my friend my roommate Chad's girlfriend moved in with us Mm-hmm. She was all with the two teacup chihuahamas Shit and piss everywhere. So you shut your door. It was fucking awful She was like oh, I work with this girl at the gym. She was like so dirt because I was single and she was like soder I found the perfect girl for you. She's got huge tats, she's a brunette. Skull was so mocking hot. Giant titties came over and we were like playing beer pong because we lived in like, you know, we were 22 and we lived in a like a college apartment complex.

So we're like, come over, hot people, we're like over drinking and she just, the most the apartment's there of like a hole in the wall from a party. Yeah, easily. Yeah, there's like that dry wall that you could like spit at it and record a whole in it she just came over and i was like trying to flirt with her

and was having none of it and was all about fart box uh... yeah fruit jack over to us and she was just like i love this guy and i was like it's cool it was a little bit of a 20 bush it's pretty cool does he work for K from A Tucson's new rock? Oh, that's cool. Can he orchestrate 40 minutes? That's not new rock. He probably couldn't get you the new limp is get checklist starfish in a hot dog water.

Like if Park and Jay Z are coming up with a mashout album, and I can get a team first. I can re-fill, write about this. I can request all of your favorite hits to the 80s, 90s. And today, do you want me to get you maybe a one of your picks on KLPX? Two songs class abroad? Two songs on one class abroad. Or also they port this 1850 Spanish ESPN. Because I got access to all these stations. Oh wait. Yeah man and then they started dating and she ended up being crazy. So it made me feel good.

Feeling good. I feel very good. Suck on that fart box. Yeah, but it hurt. Man, did that party hurt? Cause I was like, you know, you're like doing the uncool post college kid flirting thing where I was like, yeah, so how's your jaw?

I just wasn't being myself at all. Also though, how much it sucks when it's like it's, you don't want to be, you want to be happy it's like, it's, you don't wanna be, you wanna be happy for your friend, your instincts are gonna be happy for your friend, but he's directly swiping what you were hoping when I was gonna go with no give a shit. You have like this plan in your head,

like you know what I mean, you're getting ready. I think I put a sin in that. I think you can tell by the way I got my wife and wife. It was a cheap apartment complex, but they built them with like bathrooms all in the bedrooms. So I was getting ready for that party

and I was like, she's probably gonna put some condoms next to the bed. Mine's well right. I don't wanna get this out. I don't wanna get up before I pump her full a hot dick. Yeah right, and then she just came in and was like, no. No, no, no, but your friend Farbox over there, I'm ready to jump on that horn.

What a stud muffin, in the assholes. Yeah, that's cool. He's a great guy Because tell me about your friend he goes he's great Best people of her my life. I hear he's a very generous lover. I heard his girthy, but also like law like the right kind of length Not the one that hurts but like make sure you'll fall pressure I also knew I started losing it when I went out to smoke a cigarette and she's like, Oh, you smoke cigarettes? And she said that and then I,

and then when she put it on her forehead. Then when she farted, the food jack smoked too. So then when she started like a food jack, he couldn't have any smoked. So then once I knew I had it lost, I was just being an asshole about it. I was like, guys, I'm gonna go outside for a cigarette. Anybody want to go with me and just look at him.

Yeah. You know what that is? Or your friends are fucking you, dude. I can't give up this secret. You're a good friend for just not going like, is it, oh, you smoke? Yeah, I smoke. I got over there. My friend, Fujak smokes. That hot.

Yeah, everybody smokes. I heard he smokes like, I got to smoke to keep up with him. He smokes and goes. He smokes in his sleep. I up with him. He's about to go he's he's smoking asleep I've seen it's Craig a human a stray. Oh, he snuck out one time when she was over He's like I get a puff your cigarette and I was like no Hey out on it Hey, she wasn't even around it was already locked. This is like a week after he's like hey

She's in she's in my bedroom. Can I think a puffer and then I'll brush my teeth. I was like yeah Also, how risky of a move is that? Wait, he didn't smoke their entire relationship? No. Well, he would just hiding it from behind it. So funny. So funny. Did I have a friend who hit it from his mom

until he was like 30? Isn't that crazy? Oh, dude, it's hilarious. Hey, dude, do you got any mints? I'm like, no, and you're 27. My grandmother, my mom Face Tommy from my grandmother. Yeah. In a hospice, not hospice, but the home.

Yeah. And she was looking me, I just didn't even think, at one point while I was saying goodbye, I was like holding an unlit cigarette in my hand the whole time, because it was from the car. Sure. Almost, and then I was like, you know, saying goodbye wasn't thinking about,

I knew we were hanging up and I put the, like the unlet's cigarette mouth. And that was like kind of quickly took it out because my grandma, I'm afraid for to know, she'd be like, aww. That's how I feel about my grandma's smoking weed. It's just information. She would be like, I don't care if you know, but I also kind of don't want you to know now. Yeah, so.

I know you very well. You know me that well, lady. I was ripping heaters. You didn't know that I was pulling yeah Pwn stokes. Yes, he did. Yes, I did but my mom Said it was hilarious when she hung up with me. She goes Because Jay I hope he knows that I know he smokes it's I don't mind. It's okay Like yeah, just a game. I get it, I'm not upset with you for the thing. It's okay.

You're like, what a sweet grandma. Sweet grandma. Did I whisper? I'm just smoke more your fat tub of shit. You're gonna slim me it down. Yeah. I want my grandma to be like. I would try heroin if I were you.

I mean, guys, oh. I would love if my grandma was like, did you get nice? You smoked that joint? Yeah, you lifted? Yeah, it's all bro. You come back in, she was like, you get nice? You smoked that joint? Yeah, you lifted? Yeah, it's all bro. You come back in, she's like, Munchy duty, I'm like, what?

Are you super lifted right now? She's like, have you ever had a frosted Chino? There's the Chino. She's like, no, I drive over to you, Kai and get one. One, two, one, blaze it. Nanny, you blaze? Oh my God. Do I blaze? Oh my God. Do I blaze?

I just look at the stars. She goes, honestly, sometimes I'll talk to your grandfather like he's still here. Yeah. Sometimes I'm not sure. Why do you think I call you your dad's name all the time? I'm zooted. I'm ripped.

Yeah, he's there. Hey Gary, sorry, Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan. Dan? Dan? Dan? Come on those deep easily. Dan, it's Nana.

Sorry, this fucking pre-roll is kicking. She's like, you gotta call her to get off, am I right? Am I right, Sonny? She was looking my eyes, looks like I was swimming under water with my eyes open for an hour. Look at Grammy, be honest with me. Do I look high? She goes, I just remembered your grandpa

how there was a merchant marine in World War II. That's fucking crazy. He's all real Nazis. Dude. I don't think he's all shit though. I think he was full of it. That these nasal noises. He's so funny.

He'll be like, oh, I got stories. Put on a record. Dad, welcome. You're dad. You used to shut himself till he's six. You taking me so back, dude. My dad did that all the time? I've never done it once.

I've done it a couple times when I'm about to cough and I've held it in. Yeah. I love it. I came to describe what that noise is coming from. It's like, it's back, isn't it? Yeah. People are hate against this stuff.

Ghost, you're seeing you want to try. Try it. No, that's a score. That, you're saying you want to try. Try it. No, that's a score. That was that. That was that. That was the picks of your... Try it again. Close your mouth.

Yeah. Yeah. Sort of. You know what else it is? It's the start of the last thing we go. Oh, did you check that out? Yeah, it is good. last thing we go oh did you uh you checked it out yeah sorry bro oh god of golf to get off Dan you want to see some late county Dan I found a reddit

clip is the reddit clip work yeah dude this guy is me if Gary would erase me okay about this is first off him yelling at his mom for can you go to the kitchen one first this one here yeah so I started going to the Reddit thread cringe and you can find like just videos of people being assholes falling down. It's awesome. Great site for show research if I search it continually. But this guy's voice was like one of those guys that I thought that was Jim Jimmy Martinez. Is that be real? Um, I think everyone's be real now. Is that be real?

I think everyone's Jimmy Martinez. It's a weird thing. Um, what's be real doing being a engineer? Oh, that's DJ Lou. Oh, Jimmy. I'm actually waiting for Dovelle to come in and out. Who's skinny for Jimmy and Jimmy's on a maintenance guy at Series XM, Christine, you fucking races.

Whoa, get to the, man, you're, oh damn, Jay. And to skinny for Jimmy and Jimmy's on a maintenance guy serious XM Christine you fucking racist whoa People oh damn Jay blow that out Sweet are they switching out one of the things he's totally was just Jimmy Martinez I'm just hanging around but I think I'm one of the pictures. You think God got a time for God to go Oh, dude now lights gets lights now If Jacob's here to make him go do a hundred hundred pushups in front of these guys. Oh my god. Just like the old studio. I was meant to like fucking die hard three. Yeah, I think I'm gonna wear a sign with racial slurs on it. A sandwich board. Yeah. And a hard one. A sandwich board is underwear. All right. We'll have to have a gun tape to it though. That is pretty cool. And it's pretty so rest of the really hard if you pull that thing off.

So this, this video is, uh, this guy just yells at his mom, but he's my age. He's 38 and just the thought of behaving like this being like, no food. What the fuck? And he also kind of sounds like me. Yeah, dude. I think I'm from the couple videos I've seen and also the way he bitches It sounds real but as as we all know I could be getting duped. I'm an idiot. No Stop it. Don't you say it?

I don't want I won't I won't watch and she says I'm nice, but you're so pretty shirt. It's a nice shirt You have good taste in shirts. Thank you. Do you see what it is? Yeah, funk you dude Living legend. I got a dance owner is gonna wear my t-shirt I call it is that a new shirt. That's like a new design. Yeah, because I think there was a guy at Skanks live in where it's for Where I called it out on stage. It was a sick Terry funk shirt hell yeah, or he's just got good taste Skanks fans. I think our Venn diagram overlaps on wrestling shirt. I tried I tried to do it a bit on skanks when it was getting I was like he's I can't wait. He has dementia now. He's a nursing home with dementia. So I have to get to a Scorpions and Volvo match on planet Platoon. I'm in a 1948 fight my dad when I'm five match

1948 fought my dad when I'm five months Oh, fun. So he was not sexual real fight. They're having in Japan. It's pretty crazy new Japan's book in it I really would not pass you it's time travel elements. I think I don't know if they're I don't know it's all above board But I think the Japanese learned how to rip open the space time continuum and they're just they've applied that to wrestling only wrestling Daniel of wrestling I got the real 1945. I'm a teddy Funko. Is it trying to find a real Godzilla? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, anyways This is me living in Lake County Let's see this shit too. He's stupid fucking can't park Paul what shit huh? What fucking food?

Food right there what? What fucking food? Huh? What fucking food? Right there. What food? What fucking food? He's fucking spaghetti noodles? Huh? Spaghetti noodles? Who called? Why do humans mom have a fucking dorm room fridge? Also, spaghetti noodles is redundant. It's very redundant. Spaghetti is the new one. You fucking piece of trash. I do not know All these damn this lasagna pasta

Whatever I hate you is this the end of the clip? Yes, I'm here to job. Get. Oh man, dude, this guy's fired up. And I think this is the same guy from this video. Now go to the garage video. I think this is the same dude. And if it is, he's just going through it. It's helped him his voice, probably.

Yeah, we'll check it. Cause. Good morning, mother. Yeah. Sounds more like me. But he says Paula Mother I thought you came out. Look. This is your son's fucking wife look limiting the garage look Look living in a fucking garage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, too car. This is where your son's sleeping Paula

This is your son's bed Look, this is all he owns, but all you care is this in Gina Look, look Garage do this is pos this this is such a drunk rent. This is how many I've had with girlfriends Well, I'm like what do you want? Well, you want from me? Where money? Where's money? There's money. That's $2. I haven't had the guy in the basement myself in life, but this guy exists in families a lot.

The guy that doesn't leave home. And he's like a little bit, he's a loser, but he's sort of bitchy at the point. Yeah, it's always like, it's always like sort of, but it's sort of like your fault. It's 100%. Well, mom, you didn't do this. You didn't pay for college, so I got to live here and do like

Fucked up and said you wouldn't pay for rehab when I had to go to rehab You told me I couldn't drink my beer in the morning and that's how I get strong so I have to leave where I'll say shake bitch Sorry Shake bitch Sorry this You ever had spaghetti noodles? I want me go with when we go to the spaghetti noodles on the floor and my way my way I'm up for us Got that microwave kick it See see yes look Here's the rest of it See? See? Yes, look, there's the dumpster

But that's all you care about? Honestly, this guy has BAM margar- Margara voice, like recent BAM margara voice Yeah I thought there was a second or was BAM margara But there's no fuckin' delco accent Yeah, look where I'm at, Dr. Phil Yeah, real fuckin' nice

Is it you want to fucking send Gina? I'll go to turn it at high and think, no, I'm so weak from no food. So we have no emotions from you. So we're from nothing from my family. Look, this is my life. And it's pretty good. So this guy's got a nice laptop.

When you, I don't even know what's the laptop. When this guy, I don't know what's with it, is tablet maybe, and booze, of course, behind it. But the thing is, when you, like this guy, this guy's a loser for sure, but when he comes out of the fucking garage, when Mark's got friends or shit over there.

When his mom's got friends over, it's just like, she already looks at them and everyone just kinda goes like, ah shit, here we go. And he's gonna come out and be like, it's always some weird scheme. I gotta go somewhere, I gotta job that, I'm making a couple bucks. Cole says that we can take some of the DVDs

from the dumpster and sell it. It's like shit, like yeah, exactly. They're like, well because I can't fucking use the car to go find a job, mom, right? So I'm gonna go fucking pick stuff out of a dumpster. Words, I swear to God, Katie said this last night when we watched Love After Lockup, the best season. By far.

By far. I mean, there's not a storyline that sucks. The worst storyline is the woman who won't let her family meet her boyfriend when he moved in. That's the most boring, and it's still good because the grandma. Yeah, but the guy's got, that guy's got the personality of a fucking wine cork.

How did you do a crime? I know, the blandest person out of it. I'm trying to hide me from the family. No, all right, well then that's fine. I guess. Did you guys interview Dionte? No, we haven't had him yet. This seems to be better.

Two hours in a fanatics week. That show does it right can't wait and then honestly I've rolled those couples are gonna be now so you're gonna watch that season I saw I saw the promos where they're under the thing and they do the in the graphic You know where like it's deontae being like it's like no you can't act cool. I just watched you Be third in the slop train Third with the worst person I've ever seen on a television show. She's the least...

She's a sociopath. She does not care about the emotions of other people. Game of brother, that she goes, he's gonna be mad, but I want my... Dude, and then her jailhouse lover. Oh my god. It's so funny. I was just thinking, what do I, I can't be with you, I'm not gonna kiss. Yeah, that girl makes only defronco look like Paris Hilton.

Dude, it's fucking wild. Go, if you get the Wii app and watch Love After Lockup, so we can discuss it, I mean, it is. It's garbage, but it is great garbage. Great garbage, dude. It makes you feel so much better. We don't make a point attached to it. And watching that, Katie said the other day. Oh, no, just that it's the greatest scene of all time

But it reminds me a lot of those like kind of people that are just like losers like the guy that's living with that girl that he ripped off for money And now he's just ordering stuff And someone's like that's not cool when he's playing with a drone He's like why don't you not tell me how to deal my wife? Yeah, she's like that wasn't expensive drone, you know, the stuff does cost money. He's like, oh, I want one of those things. Yeah. All right, I got it in the house. But this is not kind of stuff.

This is like that behavior you see on life after lockup where they're just like, what? It's, oh, I was gonna say Doug has got that energy. He was like, hey, no one, fuck, give me nothing. You're like, the longest you've been at a jail is 40 days. Yeah, like I saw, that guy's really shitty. But they, I know, I just like, I'm trying to think of a situation.

I've like seen it before, just the guy who comes out of the basement like, hey, and like, Mom, he does have a car. You know, he has a car, but it's like shitty, he's bitchy about that. He's dating someone else who's also a loser usually and like, they come and flop in the house a bunch

and like because you would think the way bully the old mom around. I want Paula's side of this. I want to talk to Paula and be like, what was this guy? Paula, I'll tell you what Paula does right there. She's not gonna let him in the house, but she goes, look, when my husband passed away,

he took it bad, he's blah, blah. She'll make excuses excuse Form over and over again, but she's she's screamed in a few times for sure. I just know a scream this guy a few times Paul is very similar Paul is very Paul is very similar to my grandmother. She just allows shit to happen. It doesn't do anything. Like my dad would be like, I remember he's straight up drank a bottle of her vodka

and she was like, you may see that bottle of vodka, it was me and my dad and my dad was like, no. And you watched him scurry lie? No, you didn't even scurry lie. He was just in the pocket. It was just like, you went, no. Maybe you're an old crazy bitch.

He doesn't know when she forgot her vodka. And I was like, did I drink it? I was like 12. I think so. I don't think I did it, man. I feel great. I don't know. Is that good?

You'll see. But my dad was like, yeah, I don't know. Wow. I know because he died of alcoholism, but that was clearly him. Yeah. My grandma wasn't putting about a liter of hooch in the morning. Oh, just like it tends to be a balding guy

with long hair in the back. Yep, that was it. It was a permed. It was, yeah, yeah, it's right the curls. Yeah, the curls. But yeah, balding with like long hair, they just like depended on their mind and they just hate them. Yeah, it's crazy.

Why you make me sleep out of you? This guy's probably homeless without this. Yes, this guy would be on the street. He doesn't even say anything. She probably does shit like if he needs drugs. He's watching the intervention all the time. She takes him to get him. Do you think there's a problem?

That's probably what I'm thinking of. Just see on intervention when they live at home still and they come upstairs and like, we could have dinner ever what I'll tell you to show them like nodding off in the bathroom I'll tell you from the first second of this video She this guy needs rehab from the way that he hiccuped. Oh, yeah, the hiccup's great Oh, sorry again, and then we'll we'll get all the way through it because it's only you know 52 seconds right the very beginning ready I came out what this is your son's fucking wife. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,

look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,

look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, yeah, do you think this is for sure her garage or do you think she kicked him out in the only place? He could have forward with a garage for it. No, I think he lives in her garage. Yeah, I think she said I'm not gonna put him out in the street. They even say don't live in the garage. He has to hit rock bottom She's like it's oh my Tommy's he was such a good boy. Paula. I'm telling you Paula That boy Paula, I'm telling you Hey, Paula Hey Ballon let's get to the end of the video because it's it's sad as fuck. It's for sure

So why am I so hard then? I don't know. Let me see your son's been Look, this is all he owns but all you cared as a sin Gina Look look look looks looks like a four-year-old. Hey fuck face. Rod. See all you can see that's a carpet There's the dumpsters, but that's all you care about Is that you want to fucking sin Gina? I'll go to turn it at high and think no my mom's so weak from no food So we know emotions from you so we're from nothing from my family You're gonna send Jean

Trinidad Before I have genius like I'm going there to volunteer stop it. There was a hurricane. They're gonna help people We're needing it. It's all you care about. That's all you care about care about all you care about. But do you care? No, you simply don't. All you want to do is go to the deri or let Joe drive your car around. I apologize to the women for Joe, but your son is sleeping in a motherfucking garage with no blankets with no fucking nothing And you don't care Okay, but it did care Well, you what a lot of people got upset a lot of people got upset watching this basement where this garage guys apartment living and Got bummed that they saw that area rug. Very common area rug. Oh, look at that design on that area rug.

I'm talking outside show. We almost got that a few times. And you don't pay. She goes, oh, stop it, Douglas. I got you that rug at the area rug. We got that and we sent it to the garage. We got a bubbly design. You loved it.

You loved it. You loved it. Also it was a mattress and a box spring. Guys, I'm gonna find for a dildo loser. It's fine. God, I wanna find you who that guy is. It does, it is funny. It's funny.

They seem to realize what a catch I am. Oh, for sure. My God. Yeah. You live with your parents, but you don't treat them like that. Yeah, you're like, I mean, but I can, I have an apartment. Yeah, well, you tell people that.

Sure. I can take up some video. I can take up some of it. Look at all these dolls, mother. Look at all these dolls. It's nice sleep around. You don't even fucking care. You don't care. You're all you send your other signs. I'm all worried to go fishing with them, but Jake, I've got's like a thing. And another thing you can't.

Uh, fuck me. Spaghetti noodles again. There's no gluten free pasta in this fucking house. I was supposed to get my goddamn abs back when you were packing me full of carbohydrates. Where are these zucchini spaghetti noodles? Fuck you, Paula. Fuck you. Paul.

Hey, hey, hey, Paula. Hey, hey, Paula. Paula, Paula. Hey, hey, Paula. Hey, hey, Paula. Paula, Paula. Hey, hey, Paula. I'm sorry.

Normally, I'll make the mistake of like comparing myself, you know, like to celebrity, like a honk and like god damn it. And but now I gotta, I gotta balance it out. Like the opposite end of this spectrum is this guy and I'm doing all right. Yeah, you're doing a bitch. You're doing fucking awesome. Yeah, he can't compare yourself to supermodels every day. Yeah, once in a while, I can compare yourself to who's thirty-eight and lives in his mom's garage Yeah, and he just is so mad at his mom for you. It was like your mom's garage is a place to keep your drum set Yeah, that's where you wail

That's where you shred the skin's dick hole. Yeah, look man. Everything I like is rugged. No, not a lie You just wonder if like his friends or anyone around him's like Hey, dude, maybe don't drink anymore damn Dan. This should be a video. Look at this sexy silhouette Dan talking the microphone's being sexy Let me tell you something ladies. Oh He's taking the old requests. Oh shadow. Is any woman sleeping with him? Yes. Oh, yeah for sure He's brought and pussy back to the girl. Well, I don't know. It's I don't know if she's sleeping with him because it depends whoever falls asleep first. The other one doesn't sleep because

whoever he's fucking also snores. Yeah. I totally had sex with a guy that was living in a garage once. Oh, memory just came. I moved out here. I know a lot of you were asking Jay How do you stick your dick in that bucket of crud? Well, I'll tell you how it's a garage in Compton in Compton Yeah, I think I was like hold on real quick. I got to the side door. Did he hit the main gate? I think there's a side door I don't know if you went and you ready to go to Chathole Chateau Dante Peep the queen size in the back. Yeah, he goes hey if you're gonna get on all fours go doggie style He goes don't let your head make sure your head doesn't hit tennis ball. Yeah

I mean you're gonna hit the wall. It's where my mom parks with Kia We're not sleeping in here. Don't whack that tennis ball around. Actually you mentioned perfectly join it banging out on the oil stain or Man going into a garage and getting laid You're gonna you're gonna have game Now you don't to have a just an insecure girl and old fling dude. I remember when my was it It was the drug dealer. Oh, oh, I guess business wasn't good. Yeah. Got a right. That one was on me. Dude, my dad gave, you know, my dad lived with that girl that I think gave him Hep C. I should have boiled Christine when I started dating her. What's too late now? Me? Should have boiled her. Your history is way worse than mine.

Ah, never fucking the garage. Jay, what? Did you ever fucking the garage? No. Have you ever been to Compton? Fucking cars? Have you ever been to Compton? Yeah, been to Compton. Yeah, with Christine, they were a bunch of black dicks

with welcome home signs hanging off. It was like, oh shit, oh shit, look who's back. Is there flashing gang signs? Oh shit, look who's back. Hey, rep. She can rep every set. Yeah, Christine's in three gangs. I'm sorry. I'm some mom. The back. I just, I just my guys in a roll in 88. I Can't block hashtag for block Focusing slabs

Wow, you go hard in the pit damn What was the how did he get you to the garage city come out and say look? We come back to my garage with me? I think she asked if I could come to the garage. Yeah, it was probably, it was a drunken text of like, hey, pick me up, and he picks me up and just drove me back to the garage. Well, he fucked you in the garage. Where'd he put the car? Did he have the decency to bang you to Weezer in the garage? I wish.

Really? That's what your wishes are? Wish bigger. Wish to be in a house. Yeah. That was always wrapped. Don't want to be. You could probably fuck to a weasier song in a garage.

Small goals. Small goals, you could do it. You probably think I have any other. I was hanging out in my friend who's like my sister's garage like vaping because I couldn't vapen the house and I put that song on. Yeah, I go. Oh wow. At a moment.

Yeah, this is taking me back in the garage. In the garage. Yeah, garage. Was it on a... I mean, did he have... was the garage... He said I made a bed. Was it a bed in the garage? Yeah.

People live, my friend Chelsea lived in a garage that she rented from somebody. It's like detached garages. Well, that's... And she just go into the house to like shower and stuff. That's what I was saying about my dad when he was living with that lady that gave him hep C in her son Fat-Tit Neal. Fat-Tit Neal?

Fat-Tit Neal. His bedroom was the garage. And my dad was like setting it up when I was visiting and I was like, that's fucking awesome. So I absolutely turned into this guy. I can just take there forever. Trish, what the fuck? Is this what you offer your son living in a garage?

I can't watch wrestling out here. I can't, I do get high. Oh. I need more hands and soda. What the fuck? Was there oil on the floor? I don't remember. I probably. Good God.

I was so bummed when my dad sold my childhood home and he started dating my stepmom, sold my childhood home and moved out with her before we sold the house. So there was a while that you were bailed with garage fucking drug dealers? No, that was when I was sober. But when I was 17, I lived in my childhood home by myself. Weird. Now in like hindsight, I'm so happy that that house got sold and he got with my stepmom and it's not just me and my dad

still living in this house that he bought from his mom. You're like, we wouldn't, I feel like I would have never left. Like being forced out of the house and like, I had help like getting an apartment. My dad will help me out, but I'm so grateful for that now because the other side of it is just like my dad drinking himself to death and me most likely getting back on drugs and just like living in that house

with no responsibility. Once you own a house and you're just allowed, you can like have a place to fail and land. It's so much easier just to become a complete piece of shit. If you know like, you know this guy, probably new Paula was gonna put up with his shit the entire time. So he was like, I can just, was gonna put up with his shit the entire time. So he was like, I can just go get this fucked up as a warrant here.

Well, Uncle's, my three uncles still live in, like, what was their parents' home together? And my uncle's married, and he doesn't live with his wife. He just like, lives with his brothers in this house, and it's just a nightmare. No, there you go, shout out, Lou. Wow, what a fucking lunatic loser. Yeah.

Well, living in the same house, what if I told you, free Wi-Fi for life. Okay. I felt the right pass and NBA league pass Just like a blank Effect me though this guy so the pressing it's like good. Well, it's a man. They should on intervention. It really is it's somebody that like his mom's actually still enabling him It's almost like let him go be homeless. Jacob thought you got fucked on like a weight a sand weight bench One of the ones one of the ones where the the holders are right next to your head

Like that you go on the outside of the hole Christine goes blow me while I pump up. I'm gonna put all the plates on. 115 pounds. Hold on. I got this, I got this speed bag hanging in my garage. Come suck me while I work on my fucking hand speed. Yeah, would you mind licking my asshole while I head

but this speed bag is pretty fun. I got a word working table. So maybe I can be a little derby? Little derby car for you Hey, trying to get come on my vision board. Oh, yeah, that old butt light poster with the butts showing Yeah, yes, that is a Kathy Ireland original picture autograph is copied though. I wish I could visualize it better I just really I remember there was in fact a bed. Yeah, can visualize it why the purexacy of getting garage fucks by a fat drunk dealer

It was a fun time. I don't know why I made him fat Yeah, why do I need? He's fat at all. He's like I was super in shape. He's listening. I think I'll hold on a second. I think whoa I did take a shit with that mom. I'm listening to a radio program. Paula. It's me. Dan. I'm in the garage Was his mom's garage? No, he used to live with his actually I think he used to live with his baby mama and I'd fuck him at his mom's house where he said he lived cool but It was like he was renting it from a friend or something. I don't know, but it wasn't his parents

Can I wash you? Can I wash you late? Remember how they cleaned Rambo? Yeah? Do you want to pay the me? Pay the that's what we'll call it. Yeah, no, it's gonna be more you in a corner in a fetal position While I blast you with a fire hose. They said clean her up. Oh, it's all on your own I'll be the David Caruso. Yeah, he's had enough Oh my god, and then Christine's gonna have a her her flashback is gonna be her getting fucked in a garage on a sand weight back. It's like, yeah, girl, yeah, girl, you have been

fucked like this while looking at luggage up in the rafters. How old was he then? Let's see, I was right when I moved out here. So I was, when I was six, he's 10 years older than me. So he was 33. 33, letting me go to the garage. I did, he had 10 years older than me. So he was 33. 33 living in Garage. Did he have any kind of like a, sorry, in between places right now,

blah, blah, blah, blah. He was like, well, this is the garage. She's so welcome to the home. Shatto, do Andre. Yeah. I think it's just like I moved. Okay, to a garage. You said the sex was great. I mean, I had fun.

We had fun together, unfortunately. In the garage. We had a very eclectic array of places we fucked by the hour motels. The drug dealer. Yeah. Even though it was like you were your friend. Yeah.

Yeah, sorry. But this was post. It was weird going back. Like, once I was... I went back to like old lovers. That's like older guys that I fucked over the course of like 10 years, but like, you went back to the garage guy, the drug deal you're saying multiple times. Just twice as an adult.

Oh, wow, wow. Yeah. Sex going. I'm gonna say the bet on fire with Christine in it later. That's why I'm one way to purify this situation. I use your screams. Oh! I'm like, I'm just curious. Yeah, you shouldn't have been such garbage.

All right, let's take a quick break here. And we'll be right back. She's hanging out with the crew today. It's the Montfarr. You've been listening to... SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you