The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - No No-Names w/ Kim Congdon

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

In this bonus episode, the guys spend more time with the incomparable Kim Congdon. She is full of conversation starters like: who in the studio is the most on the spectrum? Kim also wonders what it's like to freefall to your death. | Bobby tries to show off his rapping skills and Kim takes the mic to try and battle him. | Jay plays the new club song by Sebastian Maniscalco and Steve Aoki and it gets a positive response in the room. | A discussion about reality television reveals that Kim once tried out to be on Bad Girls Club. Then Jay tries to make her a fan of his favorite show, Baddies. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Everybody ready to laugh now? Woo! Happy Monday, everybody. Welcome to a bonus episode of the Bonfire podcast. Hey, Crackle, crackle, everybody. Please enjoy this never-before-aired episode of the Bonfire. All right!

We were having a little hero powwow on this side of the table. Yeah, you really cut everybody else out. I started reading a commercial. You guys got lost in hero talk. Well, you know. And by the way, if it sounds like we're just saying they were talking and calling it talk, they were actually having conversations about, like, you know the way your adrenaline pumps

when you're chopping through the water to get to your latest. Listen, buying a couple retarded guys' tomatoes is a little different than saving lives. I didn't buy them tomatoes. I bought them everything. I gave them my tomatoes. It was to one retarded guy who I thought was a homeless bum. They should recreate that movie Roar with

retarded people. They should. You have a bunch of different species. Yeah, I have Christine sitting here going, like, you can't have these retards with these retards. You can't have the autistic Stick with the fucking... That's what they do in the love on the spectrum. I'm like, you guys are doing terrible matchups here. You can't put a down syndrome with an autism.

That makes no sense at all. Is that a possible real fact thing? I saw something that was like critiquing Rogan the other day about his fact towards, but he said one in 12 men in California are autistic? Yeah, I heard that too. Is that fucking possible? Yeah, anything Rogan says... Do you think anyone in this room is autistic?

Yes. What? What? Are you saying? You mean the guy that can't make eye contact? On a scale. Oh, who's most to least autistic in the room? Let's do a scale.

Lou's probably pretty up there. Lose asperger's. Self-diagnosed. Self-dinger's Asperger. So, Lou's an Asperger. So we got. You're going to go right to Jacob after that. It's the star of the show, so number one.

Yeah. What did you do that idea, though? Jacob's number one. What? That you're number one on that? Yeah. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. I thought we were going to bit.

I thought it was like a rhetorical. That's so wild. That's crazy. What? One in 12 boys are roughly one in 31 overall children in California. That can't be right. It's like, what study is this? What are you diagnosing?

Like, what constitutes autistic? How many of them are bi? Bisexuality rates? That's crazy. I don't feel like that's right. It seems. Feels wrong. But it's CDC.

But there's different levels. You know the CDC. They're always honest. Different levels of autism. This is Department of Health and Human Services. I always trust a man that made a website. Me too. I'll always take that for a documentary. Hey, we might as well be living off the fucking Bible.

What are we doing here? One in 31 Children Effect. That's crazy. Those numbers are weird. But there are a lot more doof balls in the world than I thought before. There's a lot of people. You know what I mean? You go into a store

You see a guy just do Falling around They all have podcasts I did I actually did notice it more When we moved to the suburbs It was like wow I was like I've been in New York

For a long time I think you don't know I was like I've seen a lot more Like you know Teenagers with disabilities With their families Just out and about In a way that I don't remember

Going up with They used to hide them Maybe that's it No they used to hide them They used to feel the correct shame You're supposed to feel Keep your weirdo at home So I don't have to not stare at you

Remember when you were a kid you'd go in the neighborhood and you'd look up in the windows and there'd be a kid staring from the attic, that's where they all were. Yeah, they were flowers in the attic. They were. Now we've let them out in the yard. Yeah, they went and tried to figure kids out

and then put these stupid things out. Back in the day, it was just stupid if you had ADHD. And if you had dyslexia, you're a fucking dumbass. But there's a lot of weirdos. If you were Puerto Rican, you were Haitian, it was like a whole thing. Yeah, if you were Dominican, you were black. Yeah, it's the whole thing.

It just seems like a strange, but it seems like those numbers probably are right. Yeah, they just have the numbers. I don't know if it's any more. But what do you think it is? Like, yeah, do you think it's anything? Vaccines? I think it's the, I think it's the, um, the iPads.

I think it's like being on your phone and letting, like, the thing that's literally called programming take over your brain. Oh, no doubt. I think there's so much. Well, that's the thing Christine says that there's no, like, teenagers don't fuck anymore. Yeah. Like those days are over. Everyone's just so, like, socially.

and only knows how to like talk shit through the I mean those kids existed back in the day they were just nerds and then they created the iPad and the iPhone and now they're gazillionaires no no there was no outlet for that kind of behavior now they can go be whoever they want online and then they go well I'd rather go that I got some girl who maybe who cares if she's giving me a face picture a fake picture she's sending me nudes because I've told her I was this guy and I'm talking shit like this well this there's people now are having full-fledged relationships with AI like these fucking nerdy people or these weird people are, you think that many people are doing that? I think it's extreme

like rare maybe. Dude, TLC, there's, I saw this gay guy it's like all over it. They got like, trash programming. I know,

but they have all these guys that are, and women who are having relationships with AI. There's one guy who's a gay guy having a relationship with his AI and he actually introduced

his mom to his AI boyfriend. Oh, And the mom, this is the problem. The mom wasn't like, listen, stop you fucking lunatic. She was like, hi. And he was like, hi, Jim's mom or whatever the fuck. And it had this like whole meeting at the table with his AI boyfriend that he's in love with.

Me and my mom got into an AI argument because she tried to, oh no, she tried to use chat GPT therapy against me. She was like, my chat chabit says that you're actually wrong. And I was like, okay, let's see what my chat GPT says about you. And then we can have a chat GPT off. She doesn't understand that chat chbtee says everything's a great idea? Yes. Which is probably maybe the worst thing in the world for Lewis. Yeah.

Listen to what it goes, goes, God, you are just an idea, God, aren't you? You should open up the first ever Italian ice fucking sloppy Joe stands. I bet you Lewis has a relationship with his chat chipete. Dude, if anyone ever got a hold of my chat GPT questions, I'd be mortified. Really? Even the subjects are like. Is it bad? If I blow hard enough, will a penis pop out of my pussy?

Yeah, it's really, really bad. It's really not good. How to write a book. How to write a book? Here's my life story. Write a book. Give me 45 minutes of material. Dizziness when standing.

Stolen luggage advice. You ain't on advice? This is when I was at the casino and I didn't want my business manager to know. Amex, cash advanced. Oh, that's actually a pretty thing. I'm saying, Christina, is the thing about the Gen Z adults

have never had partnered sex, making the least sexually active generation history. But mental health concerns. That's also another thing, too. Kids are getting medicated so much younger that they're fucking probably not even as horny. Well, back in the day, yeah, that's it. You didn't.

There's a lot of it, too. A kid who had ADHD, they didn't know what it was. Now they medicate them right away. Right, but that might also make your, you know, I take Lexa Pro, and that was one of the things they said didn't happen for me, think. I didn't get too many side effects, but it was like, you cannot.

They could, what, it fucked up your sex drive? It made me horny as hell. Horny. Oh, I was saying go either direction. Yeah, it's like meth. You know, see all those meth heads fucking each other in the ass and alleyways. It's like, that's what's happening on Adderall.

If you look back of the 70s and 80s, people were fucking. Every movie was fucking and they were fucking young. Well, because the kids were on Adderall. So they were horny. Kids don't fuck it now. Like kids, you can't. No. You can't just go, kids are taught not to do that.

No, that's what they're saying. It's what they're saying. Yeah. They got houses to save up for people. What are we saying here? I was watching a movie. I was telling, Jacob, I saw this movie with Rock Hudson. It was in the early 80s.

where he was a teacher, his wife was a teacher, and they were fucking the students. Really? And he was like, she was like, it looks like you're enjoying your work too much. He was like, well, you got to whistle when you work. And then he just was going to the class and banging his high school students,

high school. That high school is, the parents at that high school are going to have quite a lawsuit on their hands when they realized that Rock Hudson had given all of their children AIDS. He was the first guy that came out and then it had to become gay right away. Remember that? Rock Hudson died from AIDS

back all right. way back when he goes, oh my God, he goes, but he was doing gay stuff. You know what must suck is fucking a celebrity telling all your friends? Like, there was definitely women that were like, I fuck Charlie Sheen a month before he said he had HIV and told all their friends and like was like, don't tell anyone, but listen to this. And then that came out. And then you have to, you have to do the fucking PR train back. Oh, yeah. Hey, I got to show you my test results.

I'm good. Like, you have to go back and go, I know I fuck Charlie She. It's got to be the other way around. Guess you got raw dog by Chaz Sheen? I would suck to get AIDS from Charlie Sheen on his other side of his career. Oh my God, yeah. Like, during Wall Street, it'd be fucking great.

That's so fucking funny. I can't believe that. Have you ever had sex with famous people? Me? No. Never? Me neither. I feel like you were going to wait until we said something

before you told us your story. Yeah, who we had sex with? Rock Hudson. I feel like you're ready to tell you gave you AIDS. I've never thought. I've never had sex with the famous person ever. Puck from the real world? That's a good one.

He has AIDS knuckles. That's one of my favorite things in a reality show ever was Pedro with AIDS. Yeah. On, yeah, getting made a puck was like the gross guy on that season of the real world. And he was just sticking his fingers. The peanut butter? He would eat Pedro's peanut butter of his fingers. And just Pedro, this voice going goes,

Puck, you put your fingers in my peanut butter. and you know I have AIDS. Oh my God. You know I suffer from AIDS? And you're putting your finger on my peanut butter? I have the butter. And then Puck's just blowing snot rocket, all of them. He's like, I don't give a shit.

He didn't give a fuck. He was actually kind of advanced. He was like, that's not how AIDS has spread, my God. You're freaking out of the wrong thing, man. Eats no longer a death sentence, Pedro. I've had AIDS four times, my friend. Puck's still kicking, by the way. How funny is that?

Which one's puck? that guy on the skateboard. That's crazy because he looks like the one with AIDS. Oh, he had major drug problems for sure, but he's still alive. And Pedro? Jesse Camp, still alive somewhere, right? The guy who won MTV's who wants to be a VJ? How's Pedro?

Is he alive? Pedro died shortly after the show, I believe. Of AIDS? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, it was still the early 90s. Oh, man. Dude, it sucks that people used to die from AIDS.

That just sucks. I'm so glad we've mostly fixed that. Well, people used to die from fucking. We fixed it. Like, it's done, right? People are for polio. People don't die from AIDS at all anymore You can fuck with somebody with AIDS if you just take prep

Oh, you know, you could die from complications from AIDS I think it's where it even gets to AIDS anymore Do people still get HIV? I think that's what they get. Yeah, yeah, HIV doesn't turn in the full-blown. They treat that. Yeah, you don't get the full-blown AIDS. You know what?

I still wouldn't be happy with it. No, no, you know. By the way, but you'd be surprised how fast if you got diagnosed with it, how fast you say the thing goes, you have HIV goes, all right, well, it's actually that's actually not a big deal anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, my God, I'd rather die than get it still, though.

It kind of feels like HIV is turning to what like lip herpes used to be Where it used to be a thing and now it's like, yeah, everyone's got a little of it That was HPV, yeah, HPV was a... HPV, I got that twice. Yeah, you could, I mean, it's just, well, now there's vaccine, totally. Don't I have that on my foot? Yeah. I got HPV twice and it went away twice.

Kids won't get it anymore, though. I do. Vaccinated. I get it like, I get it like a fucking razor burn. A little flaresy? Yeah, apparently. You know, having a little bit of a flaresy to that. I keep going like something's wrong and I called two weeks later like, never mind.

And I'm like, it went away. I'm like, what was it? I'm like, it's just a thing. I'm like, is it? A thing. You put your fingers in my peanut butter. Is this it? No, that's really bad.

It's only five seconds. You put your fingers in my peanut butter. You put your fingers in my peanut butter. That boy are yours. He'd kill your brother. You put your fingers in my peanut butter. I love, I was obsessed with the real world. I was obsessed with it.

I actually, I, um, I was almost on Bad Girls Club twice. No. Yeah, but then the second time, first time I applied myself, I made it to the second round, and then nothing happened. And then the second time was after I started stand-up

and my manager said it was a bad idea. It was a bad thing. Which one were you going to be on? But I would have been so good on Bad Girls Club. So how many are there now? Not baddies. Baddies is a new. Baddies, I can't handle.

It's just like, I can't have a concussion. Yeah, you should do it. Bad girls club. Bodies like they'll beat the fuck out of you. Yes. Like to blood. No, I know. Like violent, violent first.

really good fighter and I would love to go on a reality show and just beat the fuck out of people and be allowed to. That would be so fun. Just infiltrate the auditions. Yeah, just go to the audition. I mean, you might get a little hurt but it'll be so fun. Do the Russian one. Should I? Do I audition for baddies? Yeah. Do that

in Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico Badi's. Okay, my name is Kimberly Congdon and I am auditioned for the Badi's audition for Puerto Rico. And in this audition, I'm going to tell you, I will beat your ass if you give me some other fucking attitude. And I don't care because I'm here to be a fucking baddie. You have to also believe that you can rap.

And I can fucking rap. Give me a beat. Give me a fucking beat. I'm Puerto Rican. By the way, that is on par with the songs. Everyone's got a song. They're like, every one of these girls comes out and does their song.

They do like these live shows. And they all come out and do their song. And it's always like, you shake that ass and wag your tits. And then the next girl comes out. And she goes, slap on that ass and suck up on. all my titty saying it's that on my ass and suck up on my titty it's it's i want to hear you freestyle bobby i mean i just b bboxing i got nothing come on can we get can we get a good rap beat for bobby

that was a pretty good fucking that was a give me give me something in my ear i need a some of your monitors what is what is the m&m say i got no snare in my headphones turn it up oh oh oh he's looking around the room he's drinking it all in uh huh these kies are so saying the room right now Five, six, seven, eight. I'm a hero, not a zero. Come near me and your fear, the fists and the gloves that will hit you in the face. I'm not a disgrace. Kim's to my left.

Degis to my right. That's why I'm out of sight. I bring it to the heat back to the show. And that's why Jacob starts to blow. And he gets cold in the nicest house of the... What, fucked up. You know what? That was good.

That was good. That was terrible. And I was thinking it really shines a light, though, on how good Kim's was and could be a baddie for sure. Let me try again. Ready? Let me try again. Give me the beat. That is me.

Ready? That's a video. Ready? Suck my dick. Suck my dick and lick my tities. Suck my dick and put it in my ass. I'll tell you that I'm not fucking crass. I'll suck your balls.

Put them in my mouth. None of these girls know what crass mean. I need a new beat. I need a new beat. Drop me a beat. Drop me a beat. I'm taking over. Do you want to see the baddies rap a little bit?

You want to see what they bring them to the table? Yeah, let's see what they do. I want to hit Kim. I'll get to the rap. Kim thought of something. Oh, yeah. I'll hold it in. It'll burn inside me until it's ready to come out.

I mean, I want you to see how, I mean, I want to see how on par your rap was what these girls do. Okay, we'll give her a beat. Give me a beat. Drop that beat then. Oh, no, I need something original because that's, that'll fuck with my, you know, I need a, not even an original, but not something so. I mean, give me something AI made.

I can't take another man's beat. Oh, my arm's. It's kind of stink. Affirmative action by Nause. Smell. Give her that beat. Yeah, you got a fucking hint. You got a little fucking meaty going on there.

Yeah, man. That's the way. I like my Puerto Rican girls, well. Fucking little stink. Skip ahead. Here we go. Jacob, turn her snare up.

Turn my snare up. I got no fucking snare. Five, six. Hold on. I got to wait for the right time. Ding, ding, ding. Mm-hmm. I want a house

I want a house right now and I can afford it and I used to go out and abort it and I'm going out now and I can't afford I'm on a house I think the drugs I just took Does you have an abortion? I don't know what I'm saying

You aborted a baby to get a house? Oh my God I want a house with a mouse And a cows I want a rouse Last night on skanks Rouse. What the fuck's a roast?

Jason Rouse. He's a comic. Oh, okay. Thank you, dude. Comic from a, you got to understand the references. You got to hear you rap. Shout out Jason Rouse. No, I don't have it.

I'm not a rapper. You don't have any freestyle in you? No. Come on. Come on. You can't work gloves like that and not spit some bars. No, I don't know. That's my DJ.

This is so I can do my fucking. It's great. I got all the fingernails and stuff so I could do the DJings. Oh. What the fuck's I'm going to say? You want a house. I want a house. I want a house.

That's all you need. Jason Rouse moving in the house of Jason Rouse. We check for mouse. There is no mouse. Everything's good at her house, by the way. I'll be her spouse. What's that, Jacob? Jason Clout.

There's no answer to you. What'd say? I saw a picture of Sebastian Manuscalco is a DJ now. Oh! No, he's not a DJ. Steve Aoki, the DJ, made a song involving Sebastian. And Sebastian genuinely, not laughingly, jumping around. how excited he is about this club song.

It just goes, it's just a club song. And then once in a while, Sebastian goes, does your father know you dance like that? That's it. That's the whole song, but he is so stoked to be a part of it because Sebastian wants to jump in a club to his own voice so bad. For sure. That's great.

Does your father know you dance like that? Does your mother make a sauce? Do you know you dance like that? Yeah, he's so into it. Oh, he's having the time of his life. He's too old to be having the time of his life like that. I like to see Sebastian having fun because he seems like someone that it's hard for him to let it out. Well, I mean, he's just lived his dream.

This is the dream that no one knew he had. Like, oh, he wants to be involved. Brett Ernst right now is rolling over in his grave that he's not involved in a club song yet. He can't believe it. Do you know these fucking dumb dggos? Their dream is to be played while young people roller skate one day while fucking galaxy lights are on. Jesus Christ. Bonchie, bonching, boncheon, boncheon.

Your father know you'll dance like that. Fuck me, right. Comedians used to do heroin. Yeah. And now we're doing techno. Well, it's the jump around. It's the confidence in one thing that takes you out of. I think, again, if you're going to be a comic that people are like, this motherfucker is funny as shit, you can't show your other, you can't show your other skills.

You can't show your other skills off at all of talent and art because it means you take something too seriously. You'd be a shitty magician. You take something too seriously. You two have not paid attention to me all day. I'm sorry. Jacob notices it. I've been talking the tops of heads. You know what?

I tried to lock back in and Bobby kept pushing the side talk and I really tried to. Look, I'm looking straight at you. Banas radioing. She's grabbing stuff and she... Bobby gave me a bag of drugs and I try to move it out of my way and it all spilled into a pile in front of me. But two times I tried, two times at least that I've tried to look over and talk to you guys. While I was talking you guys, Bobby went down on his phone and you and Kim started having a conversation. Hey, Jay, save someone.

You want me to say. Buddy, we're heroes. You're right. I pay my respects. You really do. I pay my respects. You do. You're right.

I show my respects. You're right. To two heroes. What we were talking about at the break is that there was, when, joking around and saving people. But there is a time when you're saving, like, when I was saving that girl and she was saving that family that were you like, oh, fuck, I might die. And you're like, you're going to make that choice. Like, fuck. Well, I start, you have to start going, I do good things for the world.

What does this person do? Like, I actually, like, I give things to people and I don't film it and stuff, you know? Like, I, like, do nice things that normal people would put on YouTube. Why do I got to die for you? Yeah, I go, does this person do that? We need to ask before I pull you up. Well, there was a point where I was swimming back, and I'm like, I don't think I'm going to make it. And I was like, I'm going to have to make a choice.

Like, I might have to let her go and let her die because I don't want to. It's either we both die or one of us dies. It's not going to be me. Starting heroics is pretty fucking funny. Starting heroics is not like a gang of it. Yeah. Yeah, finishing. You guys usually have to go talk somebody off a ledge and you go, hey, man, you

got to go, whoa, never mind. Never mind. That is freaking me out. Do you think, bro. Twice I've been driving with headliners in the last 14 years on the road and seen a guy on a bridge and the headliner's been like, we got to make it to the show. That's happened to me twice. Or I'm like, should we pull over?

because I'm like I have that I have the dog in me I'll get out I'll do the talk but twice the headliner has been like I have a contracted weekend Oh if I had a show that night I wouldn't have saved this fucking check I would be like listen Somebody's got to do that I think if I saw the bridge person and I could

I would help but I would feel like I don't I feel like I can understand his point Too soon in the conversation He's like dude I don't know I got no one No one loves me and people are about to find out A bunch of bad shit about me I go Oh all right You eventually start going well let's wait for a truck

That'll finish it You can't, don't throw yourself in front of the whole. I think you're going to get hurt on this, not killed. That's a fucking Buick, dude. Come on. This bridge isn't high enough. Yeah, let's get another bridge if you're going to take care of this. Take a walk.

We'll see how you feel on the next bridge. The jumping to your death is, what a torturous way to kill yourself. I hate heights. Well, it's just the idea that, like, you know for sure when you land, you're dead if you do it. Yeah, your street pizza. But you're dead for sure. And it's instantaneous. Your death will be a white light.

Hopefully. But I couldn't imagine what the torture of the falling and thinking about that happening. I have assumed 90% of people as they're going down just be like, oh, I guess I could have done a payment plan. Well, you know, there's that story. I could move back in with my folks. It would suck, too, if you jumped up a building. It's like an old building with an awning and just bounce off the awning and land on your feet.

I think that happens a decent amount. There's someone in the world that's landed on an awes. and landed perfectly on their feet and kept walking. It had to have happened once. I think De Rosa may have his story. Is that why he looks like that? I think somebody in DeRosa's family tried to kill themselves and jumped out of a fucking window and landed an awning.

I'm pretty sure that happened. Jesus. That's fucking so. Well, this is the thing I looked up to. Remember that flight attendant? There was that plane crash where everyone died, but one flight attendant survived. Unbreakable.

Yeah, unbreakable. And she fell, I think they were saying from like, I think it was like 20, 15,000 feet. And I went online and I asked the internet. I'm like, how long do you free fall? And it's like two minutes. That's a long. Imagine free falling.

The double the amount of time Tony Hinchcliff is staring at you on a way. You think your biggest fear is in front of crowds. That'll put you in a wheelchair. That's a two minutes a long time. There's got to be like, after a minute, you've got to kind of get bored of the fear. Yeah, you go, come on. Did I turn the oven off? Oh, they play one of my favorite songs they play.

It's such a funny song to play for the scene. But was that crank, the first crank movie with Jason Statham? When he's falling out of the plane, he's going to, like, he has no parachute, and he's going to die, and he's got time. So he calls his chick. Yeah, yeah. While he's falling, he's like, hey, I don't think I'm going to make it home tonight. He's just like flapping through the air, like going to the ground,

where they play miracles by Jefferson Airplane. Yeah, it's too much time. It's so much time. He's going to go, oh, I got shit I got to do. Yeah. I make one phone call. Christine, throw off my electronic to the bathtub.

You have time? In two minutes, you can call like so many people. For a quick goodbye? A quick goodbye. Don't answer so many questions. It is what it is. I'm dying.

Two minutes, I'm doing a quick five-way call. Everyone pick up. Hey, guys, I'm mid-air. I got about 45 seconds. I love you all. You know, there would be somebody like, wouldn't pick up,

and somebody would be like, hang on for a second. You'd be like, listen, I don't have that. You hang on for a second. Hang on for one second. I got to hang up with my doctor on the other line. I'm so petty I'd be tweeting people I hate. Here's a secret about this guy.

And you go, and we'll never make it right. Splat. I'm angry with you, and we'll never make it right. That's the bitch that's survived. Also, imagine being her ex-boyfriend. Yeah, she survived 20,000 feet? Yeah, I don't know if it's 20,000. Two miles.

Two miles. I don't know how many feet two miles is. How many feet is in one mile? 12,400. Her mom was on the plane with her. How did she survive? Would she hit mud? I really want to know the answer.

10,000. That's still a lot of feet. So she fell 10,000 feet. And a plane is 25,000 feet. So it's about half the height when it's all the way to the top. It's a thousand slam dunks. You measure her fall in slam dunks. It's so funny.

That's one. What broke her fall? A fat ass, dude. I don't know. That's why they say get the BB, her BBL. Yeah. Yeah. Got to have a fat wagon.

She was the original. She was the original. She was the original. And just bounce onto his feet. Imagine being her ass. Oh, Dante for sure is a flotation device. He goes, yeah, he goes, and under your seat, unless you're in seat 3A, you are the flotation device.

Mm-hmm. So, yeah. All right, everybody, grab on to me. It acted like a helicopter. Her seat acted like a helicopter. She was strapped into a row of seats. Oh, and it fucking spun all the way down. And probably just didn't have that much speed to it.

At that point, that's kind of awesome. Well, that is the thing. Wouldn't you try, even though it's not going to help at all, you'd try to get wide and hope that the wind like slows you down so you could land on your feet. I would start thinking, I go, I'm going to try to hit my feet and roll. I know I'm coming in hot at about 700 miles per hour, like a missile. But I have a feeling if I just kind of hit my heels right,

I could probably like roll into a thing. Who was asking me that on like, what would I do? I think it's stand-up live in Phoenix. You know, you're up on the second level there, and there's like kind of stuff down. Could you park, what would you do to parkour down? I'm always like, most of it, I'm always just like, jump, wish for the best, and I always,

I always just say land and roll. The matter of what I just say, and then land and roll. You always have to land and roll. Do you do? Tuck and roll. I think so. Tuck and roll. The hero tuck and roll.

Oh. This is a bad. Daddy's video and I sort of got out, I thought it was Skangfest. This looks like the goddamn comedy gym. Very similar. That's me on acid at Skangfest. Get to the other girls when they come out. They're all terrible.

Smiley's fat. But I think I would. You know you would. Let me see if I would. They also just play their songs and they just say every third or fourth word with it. Yeah. Holy shit, she's big. Are those, is that money or is that Whopper coupons?

All their songs are they just keep saying where the baddies is at? What those glasses are I want those She got knocked unconscious The first episode Who's that? Smiley This was the last episode

They're all saying goodbye Bye Now the reunions come Those glasses are ridiculous God you're really into this show She's wearing glasses That's a family affair We watch it every week

Those look like welding glasses That's Nunu She's coming out with her ass cheeks out That's new shit She ain't shit though Holy shit Would You would

I wouldn't I don't like that hot ass. Get their next song. Joe, goodbye, I'm No, I'm leaving now. Jacob's disgusted. But all that sweaty, big ass.

Yeah, there's no way. No, suck it, bitch. Jacobs said, suck it, bitch. Yeah. The songs are always just like, my titty's in your mouth, bitch, in your mouth, bitch. They just have four lines of rap,

and they all just take them and word them differently. Smek that bitch. He and my throat, I'm the goat. He's the boat I'm a floe Cause I'm a batty With a batty going on Not depressed

I'm not saddy I'm not saddy I'm a baddie in Puerto Rico I'll save your baby and your daddy I want to see the thing that comes out When Skanks comes out tonight That's I was making fun of our new theme song Over Skanks

And she's like that called It's the bowed of Lewis All the things are just Lewis things And he goes What's because I have more isms than you So they put more stuff About me in the song I go no it's because they're

they deal with you directly, and you are the owner who gave feedback. I didn't listen to it until we played it. But whatever I was doing this song, I was like, I was like, I wear a hat, have a son, and my name is Lewis. Everything. Sometimes I smoke, sometimes I don't.

I get fat, then I'm thin. I'm Lewis. Then there's Jay and whoever. But I'm Lewis. Yeah, I go, something about a wallachian and Jay. And it's Lewis. He's friends with Lewis. I like him young.

I like them young. I like vacation. Jamaica took San Cake off of Lemon Lewis Lewis is getting his girlfriend young enough So he doesn't have to pay full price For their fucking resort stays Or he goes this He goes, reservations for one and a half, please

Does the little kids move? The meals are cheap when they order chicken tenders, dude None of his girls can do rides None of them can say Fagawa One and a half please One and a half here They have different wristbands at the resort Yeah, do you guys have a word scramble or a maze she could do?

You guys have crayons? My girl likes a crayon. And his name is Louis. Welcome to Legion of Skanks. What's the Scanks, everyone? That's the Ballad of Lewis. You always like to start with the Ballad of Lewis? It ends with, does anyone have crayons?

Oh, is this another one of the baddies bringing it out? Come on, girl, get it out here. They really jammed into these outfits. She's just twerking. She's just twerking. This is her whole performance. Yeah, she doesn't wrap. actually. Sometimes you can just come out and twerk

too rap. How do you wipe that? I like that outfit. I would wear that outfit. That's a good skankfest outfit. I was just thinking that. Yeah, freaky. Stanky freaky. I'm going off on Skankfest. You should invite some of these girls down to Skank Fest. Oh my God, I was love to have the babies. Judge the, what is it, the Royal Rumble. Let me tell you this. I would prefer over anything we could ever possibly have as the musician for the

opening thing just to have the bannies do a full concert. I mean, that'd be a dream come true. Singing the baddies to Skank Fest would be the ultimate. Was you seeing the shock on all the fans' faces? Oh, you're going to see them coming together as a group real quick when they go, aye. Y'all know what you're on the other ethnic people here? Are we the only black girls this motherfucker?

You notice that all these women have flat asses? You know, this bunch of motherfuckers look like jelly roll out of your staring? I wish she had a biggie performance. I was trying to find her when she comes out in the red. Use a stink-ass bitch with your fat, booty butt. And yo bitches And your bitches And all my bitches

She's the worst human being in the world Tommy Lee Which one's that The one in the red Yeah First of all she's old There's a couple girls They're on bad girls club

They're like almost 40 Yeah It's wild Hey hey I am 40 She's young She's like I'm 30 She's like I'm not 40 yet

But she's like 38 No but she is a She's just a terrible person That's gonna be a In two years that way I'm not 40 yet Why is she a terrible person She's just

Everything about her like the way she's at least her public persona in every way she's a bad like she doesn't she's not nice to anybody she just look at the way she's turn back when she talks you the way she talks it's really how she talks can i tell you i love to beat the fuck out of a bitch like this though do you know i love those she walked it she walked in and somebody tried to beat her up and she goes no no names yeah that was pretty good she goes i don't know this one no no no names oh my god really shut her down she was like come on tommy let's go she goes i don't know this one no no no names that'd be humiliating to have sex with you yeah man then please

Look that little dick back in your pan. Seems like a person who would. I ain't fucking with that no-name dick. What do you want me to do with that little thing? That's a no-name dick, motherfucker. Put that's got in your pants and just eat my pussy right now. You want me a tweedle tweedle twad of that thing? Hey, do me a favor.

Lick the stink off my butt. You want me to pitle-ped on that? She's been a problem all season because she'll bring, and what they hate her for is she's bringing outside chicks in. She's bringing, like, her actual friends to, like, roll up to the places to start fighting girls. And they're like, you can't. It's like a TV show.

It's like, we're all here. We're supposed to fight each other. Guys with guns and shit. The show is nuts. You guys need to start watching it could have been love with Drewski. Oh, yeah, I know. It is the funniest, funniest

reality dating show I've ever seen. I can't believe he's, like, not embarrassed of getting pregnant that big, morbidly obese. He's not embarrassed of anything you need to see the show. He doesn't give a fuck about anything. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I believe you.

I'll give it a shot because this is almost over. Is that the one where he's auditioning people? Yeah, and he's dating studs. Like dike lesbians. Oh, I thought you meant. Dudes. Pretty much. Yeah.

They're like, dude, girls. Is this real? What? That's his baby mama. Yeah, he got her pregnant season one and she pops in season two. Yeah. Yeah, she's disgusting. He got her pregnant season one and now she pops in on season two.

And by the way, he got her pregnant. The viral video from the first season, this was them two on a boat and he's like telling her she's gross kind of. Yeah. But this girl looks like Tracy Morgan. No, he goes on dates. He wishes. He goes on dates with these studs and they're like really aggressive.

He's like, calm down. It's like really. It's like four or two. No offense. Jacob. She's like four two. Oh my god. I'm five three. I'm scared. That's what it's going to look like for me when I'm pregnant. Oh, when you're pregnant, you're going to look great. Really? Yeah. You're going to look good pregnant. Okay. When are you getting pregnant soon? Hopefully. But Drusky is a...

I want that house. I want that house. I want that mouse. I need that mouse. Yeah, I would watch this in a heartbeat too. But the bannies, they really, it's just, they know what they're doing over there. They're just smart move. That guy just... Well, something that Natalie Nunn girl has something figured out. Yeah, you want to hate Natalie Nunn, but I mean, like, she's figured out a way to make, like, kill her money off a brand that wasn't even hers. Bad Girls Club wasn't her brand. Yeah. But she, like, took that model.

She made it her thing. And once they banned Bad Girls Club, which I saw that coming a mile away. She Jeff Rossed it. She just got people to sign things. Sorry, guys. Oh, I love her hurt. Someone's never getting on a roast ever again. Yes, ever again.

Ever again for the first time. The only time they've asked me to do a roast was Ralphie. May backed out. No, no, some fat guy marked that act out, and then it was me to be the fat guy. Because I guess the comic had fat jokes. And then they got Ralphie Mae, and that's the one where Ralphie May ate his dick.

I don't remember. Ralphie took a hot one. I'm so glad. Best decision ever did. Next to doing comics. Unleashed? Yeah, unleashed. Is this a tour?

No, that's her new album, I guess. Oh, wow. They got albums. This Friday, already rich. Already bitch. The EP's dropping with two singles with features, and the features are always other baddies. Oh, God.

Oh, God, what? Oh, God, these fucking, these chicks. You're wrong. Yeah, I hate the show. My sister would watch it every night, and I'd be like, you can't, like, let that leak into your subconscious throughout, for eight hours.

I had a worry about that with Isabelle when I said, Isabel first got into the Cardi B's and stuff, not from, like, the music, but, like, love and hip-hop, like, when she was on TV, and, like, she was viral for, like, the first one she told me that I was, like, It's funny as like, why is everybody mad that she got her teeth fixed?

And she said, did you know my teeth? Did you know my old teeth? It was like such a dumb. I remember asking Isabella before knowing who Cardi B was. And it was before she was that famous. I go, you are laughing at this kind of also like, what a dumb. You don't want to be like this. You're like, you know this is dumb, right?

You know this is that. And she was like, oh, yeah, yeah. So it's like Isabella loves all the same trash TV I love, but it's not like, these is the way to live. She wants to watch the spectacle also. Like, how ridiculous is this? people watching at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I like, that was a big thing to make sure to ask that because I was like, you don't think this is like, like you wouldn't be doing this stuff. She's like, no. You wouldn't be a baddie, would you? That'd be so tragic for Jay. You're not Daddy's Little Batty, are you?

Season 15, he just sees his daughter walk out. Motherfuckers. My name is I don't give a fuck what my dad says. I'm free, I'm independent, and I don't give a shit if my dad has a comedy special. Black people rules. motherfucker. I'm here to be black but white

at the same motherfucking time, bitch. And shit. Cardi B really did glow up. The term glow up. She really did glow up. Look how ugly she is. We're going to wrap it up. We're going to do that ad.

Oh, yeah. Kim? What's up? Kim? Thanks for coming in. Good to see you. Thank you guys for having me. If you're the New York area, check out her show tonight.

10 o'clock, I'll be there. The Legion of Skanks will all be there. Yay. The Stan. 10 years. Ari Shafier. Louis J. Gomez. Big J.

Cogerson. Three, four. And then Kim Congdon takeover at Kim Conglin.com. And for dates, she's all over the road. Check her out at Kim Congdon on socials. Again, make sure you check out Ari Storytowing Show at end, premiering April 16th. You can pre-order right now at Ari Shafir.com.

Only to the April 16th, and then it's done. Punchup. That live slash Robert Kelly. And Big Jay, this weekend. Go check him out. He's going to be at the Funny Bone in Orlando, Friday and Saturday night. We'll see you guys. Tomorrow on the bonfire.