The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Not My Thing with Chris Porter

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Chris Porter is a very funny comedian who hates The Doors and loves Costco. Chris is performing in New Jersey this weekend and the first comment on the post read "not my thing." He tells a story about playing guitar for Jelly Roll before eight thousand people. | Mike Finoia is hosting for Bobby and has seen more shows than anyone at The Sphere in Las Vegas. Chris just saw The Backstreet Boys there and gives a favorable review of the venue. Chris Porter will be at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick NJ December 12th & 13th, go to chrisportercomedy.com! Mike Finoia's podcast "Are We Old?" is available anywhere you get your podcasts! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Yeah. Yeah. That Mr. Ed Sullivan wouldn't let him say this. Man. It's such a shame how much I love Jim Morrison to how much I turned on him as an adult. I was going to say, I can't. It's one band that I can't do.

I still love the music a ton. Yeah. But I say always as a performer now, it was a funny thing. everything that I thought was cool about his rock star behavior is now as a professional performer. I'm like, not that I stole some of the rock star behavior I think is the awesomest.

I love all the mythology and he's on the roof and hanging off and saying it's all bullshit and all the lizard king shit and everything. Show up for the gig. Show up for the gigs, dude. You can't start fucking up the work. When the work's fucking up,

what are we going to give a shit about you for? You're just a jerk off now. Or you come out and hammered? Can you imagine if you lived in Amsterdam or one of those places, those famous stories where like doors they're not coming around a bunch of times they're only famous for three years they come around one time to amsterdam and he doesn't show up because he's just high in the streets with people and like they're in the fucking keyboard players

singing the song you're like fuck off dude that would suck that would suck shit uh it's the bonfire faction talk series x7103 big jail christeningia robert kelly off doing his thing thing in canada for some goddamn reason i do feel like this all could have been done in his backyard there's no reason enough to go to Canada because he needs trees behind him when he talks. He's ice fishing in his tub right now. We got the great Mike Fanoia sitting in the Bobby Kelly chair today. We have a great guest sitting. He's going to be at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey, this whole weekend.

December 12th and 13th, four shows? Yeah. Yeah, everybody. It is the hilarious Chris Porter in the house. What is up? Returning to the show. He's also got a new special Middle Rage coming out next year. You're going to self-release? No. Comedy Dynamics. Oh, nice. Feeding the beast.

I know how it starts. Yeah, so you got to do what you got to do. That's prime, then they put that on prime. They're actually shopping it right now. Oh, really? Is what I was told. So, yeah. Where'd you record it?

New Orleans on tax day. So it's a very intimate special. Was it actually on tax day? It was on tax. Like when they booked it, you know, I don't. I'm not Chappelle. Like, I can't demand things. You just take what you can get.

And they're like, this is when we're shooting and where we're shooting. I was like, good luck. I remember when I did, Webster Hall, my first one. And they called me up, my agent called me to go. It goes, all right, so they got this day or like, there's no, I wanted Friday or Saturday, particularly. They could only do Sunday.

And I was like, Sunday, Sunday sucks, man. That's a terrible day. And he's giving me all the reasons why it's okay. It's good. It's actually a good day. People wake up there in a good mood. They slept in, they blah, blah, blah. Like, they're ready to party.

I go, I don't know, man. He goes, dude, Steve Renanzizi did his on a Sunday? And I went, did he, though? Did he though? I already didn't do a special. I go, I go, were you there? Or is he telling you? Steve Bernardizzi, literally, it was one of the last, like, the last, like, decade is one of my favorite people I've just gotten me.

I didn't, I didn't know Steve before any of that. I really, I mean, we, but. bumped into each other through Ari a couple times, but I didn't really know him at all, and then the thing happens, it was, I didn't even have, like, a real feel terrible for him because I didn't know him. It was more like that situation sucks,

and I thought he was, like, a little over-punished for it. But I was like, I don't know him, I just didn't know him, so I didn't feel like, and now he'd meet him. It's like, man, what a great guy that sucks. I'm almost happy I didn't know him when it happened because I would have been like, oh, poor Steve, he's such a good dude.

He's probably so bummed right now. I'm feeling like, fuck, man, the world's angry at me. He's such a great dude. Yeah, no, I've known him for you. And I knew him through all of that, too. And funny, I made a joke at his expense on, like, the Burt podcast. And I called it.

I was like, hey, man, we were just riffing. And he's like, no, man, tell him. But he doesn't give his shit. Yeah, he was like, I bet it was hilarious. He said on Story Wars before he goes, how am I so bad this game? It's about lying. And then he gets one where I think he got all the points. Like, he got all because he fooled everybody.

And he was, I'm back, baby! That is so cool. All he could do is have a good sense of me. He lost, like, it's funny, it seems like minimal and trivial. If you don't, I guess, know him at all, but it's like, he was Buffalo Wild Wings guy. Yeah. He was the guy. I mean, that's a big campaign.

For sure. You get a lot of money on that for years. Well, the league, he was so great on the league, that show. And then he was going to ride it into the sunset, and then 9-11 happened. And then 20 years after 9-11 happened. but they did say never forget isn't it by the way I'll have to ask him if I'm getting this completely wrong

but I hope not because I think it's something like again not realizing what the world's about to do with what you've said wasn't it just simply he came out on something he was like oh yeah you know it's funny I used to tell people all the time that I was in 9-11 but like I was never actually in it at all

like I think he just said it loose you on some podcast and then people were like what yeah or I thought I thought I always thought he just got bored on a podcast that he thought was meaningless and then probably yeah I'm on yeah I was at 9-11 whatever like let's make this interesting and then once he got famous it everyone was like oh this was this podcast and then someone put it together yeah that he wasn't employed there at that time oh is that what it was I was exposed I thought it was him like well maybe he said like in his person maybe the thing was saying in personal life

a lot of people knew he wasn't 9-a-like he'd already told that it was like oh yeah I told this thing like a while ago he was already I don't think he was like holding firm at that point of his life when he got exposed that this still had happened he stopped telling that story

forever ago I think because it was a bullshit story when it was also forever ago and man that's just yeah when it comes back to bite you like that God that's so crazy now you can't Buffalo Wildwing anymore

fuck fucking shit that's big money that's buffalo's richest shit still trying to get better at the old watch what you say after all these years of podcasting

yeah well do you have to apologize for something you said or all that just the worst oh yeah just any kind of thing yeah dude remember that was i mean how much if someone goes back through like legion of skanks particularly like the stories of things like what was it brad brad brad got in trouble brad williams years ago when he was like yeah i went in and bang some chick she thought i was carlos man see it and like almost in your mind the sad thing is do you have to question that can't you just go it's like i think it's just a midget trying to make you think he's cool, like, just telling you the story. And, like, you know what you're describing

there is, like, an actual rape or something? He goes, do you think this really happened? Yeah. When he said it, were you going, like, for sure, man? That's how I would have taken it. And if he goes, and then I went back there, I don't know why I'm giving him a fucking dwarf voice. And then I went back there, and then I had sex with her. And he said, we represent.

Yeah. She goes, Carlos Mencia, I said, you've got it. Oh, delay. But yeah, what are the odds someone's going to confuse a dwarf with a full grown man even in the dark yeah the real ones

the person who should have made sure that was debunked was Carlos Mencia what's that say about him he goes yeah he goes so anyway I went back there and this girl thought she was waiting the fuck the guy

they had to cut out of his house on Jerry Springer because he was too fat but I just slid in she asked no questions you don't feel like they have to cut you out of a house shh

it's me baby it was a real small house it's me but when we first started i mean so we were talking today the legion of scanks particular it's 15 years we were doing that show and everything like the amount of things you just like again but 15 years ago is long enough ago that those first 200 episodes were like well this is going to nobody ever yeah like this is just for a people like some diehard people that have gotten into see me at this whether the comedy seller or open for Dave Attell and like you know 100 people are listening to the episodes

and like you just doesn't think about it all but it still exists out there and they can go back and see it whenever and it's like no I don't we couldn't even I mean it's all behind a pay wall yeah you're gonna have to pay to ruin us yeah you'd have to pay for it for sure you'd have to subscribe yeah exactly you have to go he goes hey if you want to take us down smash that

subscribe button smash that like button get notifications whenever new episodes come out we'll even flag really bad ones for you That's the, what the guy, could you imagine of having to do that, like, the person I had the guy who brought down Shane, or I just can't say brought him down, but the guy who got him booted from SNL, the Seth Simon's kid, like, those guys, like, and a bunch of those guys, wake up every day and start watching comedy to be angry at it. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're not even taking it as, like, funny jokes. They're like, where did this guy fuck up today?

Let me see where so and so fucking up today. But those are the same dudes that get on hot girls accounts and be like, me. Oh, really? Yeah. I always think of the ones to get on Hot Girls accounts and go like, good morning, my love.

Oh, that's the best dude. I dated a super hot girl and I was like, and she would let those comments ruin her day. Really? And I'd be like, you know that's what he's trying to do.

Like, why don't you read the 37,000 eggplan emojis and not focus on this troll? She goes, sure, everyone's got a super hard purple dick for me,

but. But this guy who doesn't have his face on his profile picture. Put man. He used rolly eyes. Yeah. I love that man. It would be. If you could only write everything from like a live cam,

someone's got to see you. Oh my God, I know, right? I mean, how many of the things that have maybe hurt you the most are coming from someone where it's like laughably, like, movie-esque bad, his life? Like in a chair that he never gets out of where it's like, I bet a lot of people that you get fed. furious at or like crippled for life people. It's like people

with living an actual whole other life on the internet. So it's like you know you don't know that I'm a guy who's like always has snot coming down but like he's like you're ugly and it ruins that girl's day but if you could just see him you go they're like can you please open the gate I got to get in the parking garage

and he's like man and then hits the button he's just in a toll dude I follow the guy the stress factory website they like posted something and like the first guy was like, Matt, not my thing. And I was like,

well, you can't be first. So I got up there and I was like, hey, let's just cancel the whole thing, man, if this guy's not into it. I was like, you could have just scrolled and not said anything. And not said a word. Yeah, no one needs to know it's not your thing.

Yeah. Could you imagine that when I'm going, I wonder who's coming to like, you know, Irving Plaza. I wonder who's coming to Irving Plaza this month. Let me look it up there. And just like, look at their schedule and be like,

the mighty ballstones. hate Mighty Boss tones Who else is going It's like you're supposed to The 90s called and said fuck oh And he was like All they did was they just doing the crime Of performing one night at a place

Yeah yeah Yuck dude I was trying to promote a show Well I told you I heard Not my thing I experienced that in person At right outside the punch line In San Francisco

I was staying at the hotel Across the street and I walked out And it was during the day And there were people I heard my bit and they were watching it on their phone and then they were like eh you want to go

what else was there to do you and they decided not to and I was like do you gotta watch the new stuff but whatever clip they put up on the website these people didn't like and they were like so just go like Fisherman's Wharf maybe or something and just decided

I've been better if you just walked up to them and been like I got better stuff I was like that's awesome though I said that's the the comics cursed too is trying to think I think of some of the clubs I want to say possibly Ontario improv in California has that like where you're out back hanging there's just a little crack through the building that people can't even get through but it's the front of the club over there and sometimes you can just hear it like it wasn't really my thing or here a guy goes like I've seen

him better but like you're like oh yeah stop it the whole next show you're just like I'm sorry if I've better before yeah i don't know man i'm trying to ride a new hour i was probably in a different space i flew in cross country today i'm a little like the first show is going to be a little rough that's so but i just drink it all in but yeah i'd never uh i'm never look it happens now because people like look for things and they'll pull something you said to show it to a person to hurt their feelings do you know i mean but like we've never tagged corey feldman in a thing that we've made fun of man do you know i mean he just yeah he'd It got to him just because of people make sure it gets to him.

Right. Or he's a lunatic who looks up all the stuff that said about him, which is also probably a good point. I think it's 50-50 on that proposition. Yeah, that particular thing for sure. But he, but, you know, I've always said before, because we talk on shows and it's the three eyes, Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkin, is the worst, love their music. Love. Yeah. Three times in concert, garbage every time.

Terrible. They're just bad, they don't like playing the songs. He plays them fast. He's just kind of a cunty, like, person to the audience. He just kind of stuff. Now, I've, that's still never made me feel the need to go at Billy Corgan official. Fucking try or what the fuck am I paying for it? It's like, who the fuck am I?

Yeah. Just don't go next time. Yeah, I just know, yeah, smashing moments come around. By the way, I would go again, just always try and see. But that's almost the point. Like, people do that too. People will go, saw Big Jay, he fucking suck this time. He's lost it.

This guy used to be good when I was in high school. And then, but like, you know, if they see you, they're still just as excited as anything. They're just, like, talking. They just want to talk. So almost that. Like, even get into the stress factories thing, it's almost like, I know it's so hard to not, but you don't want to get into those fucking comment battles. Yeah, well, if it would have been comment one.

I know. I don't want some guy to be like, I don't know. Yeah, this guy's not into it either. Yeah, the real phone call you should have made was whoever doing the socials over at the stress factor. Hey, can you make sure the first comment's positive? But that's the risk of having anybody else You know when you release Like self-release something on YouTube

Not that there's not It catches the algorithm Some people are just like this suck When someone just says like a this sucks Holy shit this is awful You know It's called when they redo it Like 800 pound gorilla

Always did it to re And they just did that with mine They just did both the crowd works As a re-and you go in the first day Like look at the comment And because it's just They're putting it in front of their audience

It's not just my people but it only takes by three down for someone goes like, dude, why don't you guys start putting some good stuff up here again? You're like, how? Could you put that as a comment under their general page instead of just my thing? Not this.

Something not this. They're like more Angela Johnson, please. Just anything that's not this. Anything that's not this. I need more puppets. If I could have more racist puppets, please, an 800-pound gorilla. You know what I like to do for those people that hate on me?

Get him some jewelry this holiday season. George you're at your read voice I love it oh thank you I just bought three hundred dollars with the jewelry hell yeah while I was reading yeah Stephen Singer does it up nice I was asking on that show baddies that I watch where these ghetto black chicks just beat the shit of each other and white chicks sorry black lou there's also ghetto white chicks in there too I was asking my daughter about the jewelry I'm like do you think that jewelry is like what I would guess it to be six figures or is it like five thousand dollars and it's all whatever she says low six figures

as the new thing is the lab-grown diamonds which Stephen Singer little free extra plug there never uses lab-grown diamonds he never uses lab only natural diamonds I guess the lab grown diamonds a lot of the rappers are doing that because you can get the

expensive piece for less expensive it does look like diamond joy they're all like flawless because they're made they're diamonds no resale garbage resale value you get no resale value so whatever the diamonds hold which is again such a hilariously like

human construct that always still makes me laugh so much to go gold and silver are up like shiny rocks a bag of jewels that civilizations were built and ripped apart on yeah right it's crazy pirate ships are staying uh it's well it's funny steven singer it's such a ridiculous thing that's built in the people something about that shiny metal making something and being that expensive making sense he sits here when he comes on the show steven singer will come in once a year around Valentine's Day, right? Yeah. And he'll come in and I'll be like,

oh, it's the stupidest business in the world. It doesn't make any sense. Is the only thing you buy? It was like, you can't eat it. You can't play with it. It was like, all these things can't drive it. He's like, it doesn't. He goes, it's just how it makes you feel wearing it

and other people acknowledging it and noticing. He goes, it's the stupidest business and the store is full every day. If you don't think I've looked up how much it would cost to own one of those gold bars like you see and diehardt? Yes. They're about a quarter million

Oh Yeah Oh really that one that big is a quarter mill The big ones are I think you can get the smaller one for like 65 grand And they're heavy as fuck too No I know I said I want one so bad

I want here's what I want First things first I gotta get that real ID Because without my real ID I can't get my gun permit So I can't get a gun Then I want to have a safe That has three gold bricks in it A couple stacks of cash With the wrap on it that says

Whatever thousands And a gun just sitting there top of it. That is stainless steel. And a burner phone. And I'll just, and just once in a while, I'm just going to open the safe just to be like, there's those things. Yeah. There's those things. There's my oh yeah, it's right. I forgot. You could buy gold at fucking

Costco. Yeah, but those are, that's an ounce. You put that in your wallet. It's Kirkland gold, dude. It's going to look good though in my, uh, yeah. Kirkland gold. That's Kirkland gold. You can only buy 11,000 pounds of it. You can buy in one ounces, but you have to buy 11,000.

of it. No, as I'm saying, I want to get a small safe, like a little closet safe, and just a couple of my gold nugs. Yeah. I have a closet safe, and all it has is mushroom chocolates in it right now. The fact of you buy gold at Costco is so funny. Cosco,

explain any of it to me. Again, it's an organic thing. I'm drawn to it. When you go in there, you really do want to walk around and see all of it, but it doesn't make sense that in two aisles from each other, I can go, hey do we need all this

skinless chicken breasts all right well I'll be over in patio swings if you need me I'll be in mountain bikes I'll be ordering a vacation getting new tires I'm going to get one company that has rims here installed the questions

you ask yourself at Costco you're like do I need a generator I might you might you never know like I got new bed sleeping pants and solar panels to that you can do solar you can do solar there for sure dude

why do I have three you can buy a Mac and a fantastic hot dog yes yes and about 38 pounds of macadamia nuts dude I got when we went there a whole Christmas village you could buy there we walked out of there with two patio sets a leaf blower

pizza rolls for the rest of our lives you're literally just throwing pizza rolls at kids in the neighborhood Lifetones. I was got a 3D printer. I remember walking by the thing. I go, hey, how good is our computer monitor? Look at this one here. Look at this big one. It wraps around. But look at the goldfish on it that are swimming. It's all just beautiful display. I wonder how many people have like that post-shopping, like you out of the blackout regret.

You get home and you open the back because they don't give you bags either. As you're installing the TV mount in the bathroom. Like, this, I might have overthought this. Yeah, there's like... It just doesn't make... It's like the stuff. And also, nobody knows anything out of their thing. Oh, no.

So you can go, I like to ask about this MacBook, and they go, I'm in produce. He's like, listen, he's like, if you want to talk, if you want to talk Clementines, I got you. You want to talk Clementines in bulk? You want to buy a Clementine farm? I'm your guy. And I know what you're thinking of December, not a good Clementime time, but it is. Did you know that Costco is the world's... largest wine

seller in the fucking world that's the only yeah and I learned that to do impractical jokers shit I had to look that up they sell the most wine in the world really yeah because they sell it like probably those big those last time they have those big like oil drum yeah yeah or like one of those

mason jugs like yeah yeah grass bands used yes that's what I'm picturing yeah they lost out to total wine and more oh yeah The largest wine, Costco was the largest in the U.S. selling billions, but recently lost that to total wine. Where you're always going to love what you're fine and find what you love.

Only a total wine and more. Wow. Must be 21. Be 123. Delivery available in certain places. Yeah, it is weird. That is how they put it. They go, B-21.

Don't even fucking around. Here is a carbosite pickup and delivery available in most areas. See total wine.com for detail. Spears not sold in Virginia, North Carolina. Drink responsibly. B-21. You fucking dope. B-21.

Don't be a fucking idiot. Hey, dip shit. We check ID. Did you have a fake ID growing up? I did. And it was terrible. I remember it was printed on like a laser jet printer. And the first time I used it in Lawrence, which is where I went to college, the guy laughed at it.

Really? He goes, he just, okay. He goes, this isn't even the right color. And I was like, okay. He goes, come back sober and I'll give it back to you. It worked everywhere except like the cool, like where people knew what they were doing, yeah. But if you went to a mom and pop liquor store, you were fine. We were talking on that, we did the pre-recorded earlier today, about the sphere.

Have you seen anything at the sphere? I know you're a big music guy. Yeah, I saw Eagles and Backstreet Boys. How was, we were watching parts of the Backstreet Boys. Looks like it's insane. It is insane. And I, the Eagles, I was like in it. Sure, sure.

The Backstreet Boys, I was, like, watching the visuals. It was insane. There was one where they were, like, frozen in a mountain, and they're singing, like, their Mount Rush. I'll show you a video. We saw it. I mean, that's what we were seeing. I was like, this is stupid.

I'm like, this is, I don't know whose idea this was, but this should have been. Their faces in the mountains. They're all like half dead. It's really creepy. What was weird, the one thing I noticed the Backstreet Boys concert, yeah, that's it. Where they're like, it's Mount Dorkmore. Mount Fuckmore. Mish me love more.

That's so stupid Yeah It looks I mean It looks like a scene out of Indiana Jones Five The faces are awful Yeah

Where are the fucking Backstreet boys They're down there They're down there It's so dwarfed by the place Well that this picture's being taken From like easily like 300 Or 400

This is way the hell up Um Eagles you loved Eagles I loved Backstreet boys was great Did they use Did Eagles use I wonder

Because you didn't see the Eagles. I didn't go to the Eagles. I said they seem to have a bit of a... They have some template programs for the sphere where it's like, depending who's playing, you can kind of make a small tweak that makes it because the one was... He saw Kenny Chesney and the dead

and the famous clip that everyone sees of the dead, the skeleton on the motorcycle going through everything. Yeah. They changed it with Kenny Chesney. It's the same thing, but it's Kenny Chesney and a girl on the motorcycle. So it's just like a slight program change and the same thing.

Backstree Boys was all original, I think. Eagles was all original like they had some the Eagles had like this really cool thing like in the city where you were being surrounded by like New York Brownstones and then you and Joe Walsh was up above you like a guitar playing Jesus and then as you came out of that

you were flying over California and I yeah so the dead did a thing where like you started out in California and you lift it up into space and the whole thing happens in space but one of the things they did too was you were in a they put right angles and the room was made out of old backstage passes

and then Kenny Chesney did the exact same thing like almost like bit their fucking yeah so I'm saying I bet if Plyman comes in they go I don't really have like a crazy artistic vision for this yeah yeah yeah they just have I'm sure Kenny was like yeah give me some of the dead stuff because he's kind of he loves that Jimmy Buffett well that's yeah dead dead thing anyway so

oh really he's already kind of nick in the dead Kenny Chesney? Kenny Chesney's thing was like one of the songs Actually it was really neat The thing that he did on the sphere It was like a carnival after dark Like when it closed And you could see like the puddles in the fucking ground

And like the reflection from the Ferris wheel And the water and the lights and the moon That was really cool The music was fucking terrible But it was like I hate that shit But it was fun to go to I don't know his stuff particularly at all

I just can't stand this like easy country The new country Yeah just cold beer on a Friday night And my girl in a truck And it's just like I find I get more than the bluesy. Like I said, the Marcus King, kind of like John Rove at the bluesy.

Absolutely, dude. There's some really good shit, but not that. Tyler Childers is amazing. I keep hearing. He's really good. Yeah, I've seen him in concert three times. Sturgele's really good. Oh, Sturgle's the shit.

Incredible, yeah. He's now Johnny Blue's guys. Chris Tableton guy was good, too. Yeah, no, he's great. He's great. I mean, he's a little, just because he's so humongous on the pop side. It's a little weird, but.

Oh, really? It's going like that way. It's a great concert. Yeah. Is that Brian? country is that no no there's two there's that brown and Zach Bryan they're both country yeah yeah one of them's the fucking chicken fried fucking like that song yeah chick brown brown I think I met Zach Brown is that who we met you met Zach Brown

at Zach Brown at the kid rock at the kid rock thing yeah he was at the after party yeah one of the first year they did it he was super nice yeah that was the best year that was the best year that was what I met as we met Marcus King also yeah he came over Marcus was in the middle of the he was in the middle of the kid rock bit that they tried to get Shane with also

because he came over and he was like I just knows I'm talking to him again Mark is such a funny guy if you don't have any point of reference

on him which I'm surprised I didn't with how much I like him and know his stuff now and how good he is I didn't really wasn't familiar with this thing

and I just see this guy who came over to say he was a big fan of the bonfire particularly and then I'm like wow that's cool and then I look down

and I'm like he's crazy looking and then I see he's got a watch on that's not connected I mean, it's around his wrist, but it's not like... It's not clock, class for him.

It's squeezing his wrist wide open. And I go, what's that? And he goes, oh, man, Kid Rock gave me this watch. Kid Rock gives you a watch, man, whether it fits or not, you just wear it. And then you find out that's part of Kid Rock's the bit he does, where he gives people watches. He wears $18 watches just to give them away and go, $200,000 watch right there. And he walks off the room. Dude, when he did that to Shane Gillis and them in the green room in Nashville, did you know the story?

Uh-uh. he did that, Kid Rock did that, he left, and he tried to give it to Shane. Shane was like, no, man, I can't take that for it. He didn't know, he goes, I can't take that for it. So they just gave it to, like, Nate Marshall or one of the other guys and left, and then Shane was like, dude, we're giving that back to him, or we're like, and then Shane was like, well, you're not keeping. It's like, give it to me.

You know what I mean? He wanted to give it to me, so it's just the argument, I guess, what goes on for someone looks it up to be like, oh, it's an $18 one. Which is a good, talk about, I'll tell you, I'll give Kid Rock credit for that, man. it's a great fucking grenade of a joke it's hilarious he doesn't even you can do forever he doesn't even get the payoff from no it's Ari Shafir level of like

I'll leave this chaos and it'll unfold I'll not even here I'll just let it unfold they'll all deal with it later I like that that was pretty fucking good thing but not knowing that story till later and just seeing like us nodding and understanding he's like hey man Kid Rock gives you a watch though you wear it even if doesn't fit

I go I get it man I get it he's fucking great Marcus yeah Yeah, he's fucking fantastic. Do you play guitar good at the watch that you've performed and played guitar in front of, like, real musicians

has got to be nerve-wracking as fuck, dude. Oh, yeah, no, you saw me have, like, the greatest worst night of my life, four nights in a row. When I would go out and play with jelly... Jelly Roll, yeah. On the Foilode tour, Chris would go out, and he would play in Jelly Roll, they'd, like, three, like, not acoustic, I guess, but, like, yeah, acoustic,

three acoustic songs. And I would back, I'd played the guitar for him. And he'd sing. And he would sing, and, before night one I'd played for maybe 200 people and night one was 8,000 and I just

I walked out there and then boom tune it up and we did sound check and everything we go out there night one nothing works my guitar's not on jelly can't hear anything and so we're literally out there for eight minutes

just not knowing what to do and I was like this is not how I pictured this the last four months of rehearsal and then we did start and then we did start and yeah we got through it what songs did you play

uh one thing you had to go out there and do lose yourself had to do oh I had to learn a rap maybe ding ding ding ding ding ding ging ging ging ging ging ging oh wow I had to learn

his arms are heavy knees weeks arms are heavy mom and on his sweater on ready mom spaghetti that's great And I was just, and I would just look at jelly, because if I look to the right, it saw all the people. Oh, yeah, you were eyes closed and, like, to him and just keep in the head moving. It's like, when you're pissing at a urinal, you're just like, I'm home, I'm alone.

I'm just in my basement. It would be like where the, like, Oklahoma City Thunder play. It was like these fucking weird plays. It was great. You're doing the same guitar gig as, like, tool. Yeah. That's incredible. That was wild, man.

It was fun, man. It was a lot of. And the thing was, I was with jelly, so they would all go and do, like, all the fun stuff, and we would fly somewhere. Because Jelly can't sleep on a bus. Oh, yeah. So we would have to, like, drive halfway to where we're going, stop at a hotel, sleep, and then drive the rest of the way. Oh, to the fully loaded. To the, on the fully loaded.

Oh, yeah. So that's why we never showed up to, like, seven. It's still one of my favorite things, though, David Tell, because Jelly Roll at the end of the night was so he would have, like, the roundtables, you know, with all the comics. and everybody leaning it, and me and Sodor and, like, Atel would just, like, collect enough, like, listening of things to go laugh off by ourselves. And then, but Jelly Roll just wants to, like, he loves comedy. So he's asking everybody wants to know about this and how you come up with it. Just, like, radio questions that you wouldn't particularly enjoy if it wasn't Jelly Roll asking you. Yeah.

So, but, you know, he means well. So you're just like, everyone's kind of like, you know, talking to him and tell him whatever. And then we walk in Dave Atel just go in that line. He just goes, oh, he goes, I can't do any more of these behind the comedy conversations. That's great. So when did you know you wanted to do this? Yeah, which by the way, it's the sweetest, and it's like, it's jelly roll, he's so famous and the sweet guys. So you want to, like, be there for the thing, but you're just like, oh, man, I had to do this on KTLU this morning.

Skeeter and the Worm asked me this, like, last week. You didn't get to do any of the fun stuff? I would talk to him while he's on fully loaded. He's like, oh, today I rode into convertible with two angry zebras. Oh, yeah, no, we would roll in it like six. But it was kind of cool because we were like the. cool kids showing up because they've been hanging out all day. Yeah. Yeah, we've already been wind

surfing and so much of stuff nobody wanted to do. And we just show up and all... I threw curveballs at a tiger and a fucking batting cage, dude. Everything you said was like, what? It was like a mad limb. He goes, Mike, I can't talk about. We're wrestling miniature bears? I don't know. Cubs? Burg just keep screaming content. That's all he says.

You had no idea when you woke up. I was like, hey guys, we're petting puppies like they do for a retarded kid hospitals. and you're like, oh, that's fun, and then the next day it'll be exactly, it's like, dude, we're wind sailing. You got to learn how to win sail. Are you prepared to get a major injury?

There's like a wave pool in the parking lot at fucking Nassau Coliseum. You've got to like go back there and fucking fake surf. Or get things like this. He goes, hey, if anybody wants to wake up early tomorrow, we're running all the stairs at Nebraska University Stadium.

Yeah. Oh, now I'm going to miss that. Seems like a hard way to break into that. Yeah, as he's drinking like a quadruple t-ditos and soda. Yeah. How the fuck he does it, dude? Well, you know, he owns, like, 15 bikes because he goes out on tour and buys bikes for the comics to ride and then forgets to take them back out and does it again.

Oh, the electric bikes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fun tour. Yeah, it sounds fun. Yeah. Oh, we have to wrap this bitch up. Damn, Lou. I don't know anything about radio all these years.

Chris Porter, he's going to be a distress factory in New Brunswick this weekend. That is December 12th and 13th, Friday and Saturday. two shows each night for tickets and all of his tour dates and you should go see chris he's fucking hilarious chris porter comedy dot com chris's new special middle rage coming out next year do you have a date yet at all oh just sometime next year yeah because you're still shopping it hell yeah where does it land it's going to be exciting mikey finoya thank you so much for hanging out me all day today today mike's going to be on the pre-record on thursday as well he sat here with me all day what a bud he's on tour with ron white 2026 for tickets and all tour dates uh go to mike finnoia f-finoia

And make sure you listen to his podcast. Are We Old? Wherever you find your podcasts. We did okay in the hunger thing. We didn't beat Sam Roberts, but it's okay. No one cares. No one cares. Bobby Kelly's going to be in Sarasota, Poughkeepsie Comedy Works South in Colorado and Batavia, Illinois,

for tickets and all of his tour dates. Go to punchup.com. com. And, of course, I'm going to be in Irvine soon. I'm going to be in Milwaukee for New Year's Eve weekend. Look for a city near you. I never stop. BigJComody.com.

And Thursday, Thursday night, 8 p.m.ish. I'm going to be doing my next live stream over on YouTube.com slash at Big J. O'Kerson. Try to get back on a schedule with that. Doing it more consistently. If you guys want it, I'll keep doing it. Our holiday spectacular, some tickets still available, I think. December 16th, 7 p.m. at the Village Underground in New York City.

If you want tickets for that, they are free. Comedyseller.com. Thank you, boys, both. Love you, bud. And we'll catch you guys live. tomorrow for the last live show of the week on the bonfire until then crackle crackle peace