The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Obsidian Sex Toys (feat. Donny Dust)

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Marine and survivalist Donny Dust joins the Bonfire to talk about his heart attack, living in a cave, and fighting overseas. Donny is Bobby's favorite guy to follow on social media and his hero. Before Donny comes in, the crew argues who is more attractive; Barbra Streisand or Liza Minnelli. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly My head appeared to go on no, I'm singing this you can dance with your friend Bobby I've got it all here in my heart But I've got it all here in my heart Hey Bobby I don't, yeah I want you to know I know the truth Of course I know it I would be nothing without you

Donnie Did you ever know that you're my hero? Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie.

Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. I'm gonna kill it, need it. I hope he comes in when we're doing the part. Fly, fly. Did I ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything, everything I wish I could be

And I could fly higher than an eagle You are the wind beneath my wings my way. The Christian girl right in the butt. She was a virgin. Nice. Going to heaven. You are the wind beneath my wings. She said his wiener was going to be too big for her butt, but he said, try. Try.

Try anyway. Man, Bette Midler, what a gorgeous voice and just a fucked up mug. Yeah. She looks like Jewish propaganda video. Didn't she have a... Jesus Christ. Didn't she have a minute though where she was alright? No, never. No? Cause Barbra Streisand had a minute.

Minute? What are you talking about? Say something bad about her now, dude. She's a Jewish queen. What, are you crazy? No, say something crazy. I will. Don't come sideways about Barbra Streisand, dude. It's my one thing. I said something about Barbra Streisand. Nah, come on. It's my one thing. What did I say about Barbra Streisand? Nah, come on, it's my one thing, dude. Did you say it the other night?

You think you're better than James, what's his name? The... Brolin. James Brolin? James. Yeah, James Brolin, the guy who fucking bangs Barbra Streisand, I can only guess, every night. Not every night, because...

No, dude, you don't leave that songbird empty. Look at it, right there, she looked good. God damn right, she did. Yentl, Yentl, she looked great. Yeah, dude. You don't leave that songbird empty. Look at it. Right there, she looked good. God damn right she did. Yentl. Yentl. She looked great.

Yeah. She looked like a hot Jewish broad. Oh yeah. She was hot. Yes. What? You don't think Barbara Streisand was hot? Jacob, you're a self-hating Jew though.

You really are. Going to hell too. I'm not. Yeah, you're definitely going to hell. She was hot back in the day. And Liza Minnelli was cutie patootie back in the day, too. That's a crazy thing to say. Bring up Liza Minnelli.

No, that is crazy. No, it isn't. Bring up Liza. She always looks like a character. She was cute back in the day. Not once in her life for any moment. Yeah, she was. Nope.

Liza Minnelli. Her mom was great. Nope. Hang on. She was kind of cutie. Nope. I mean, her mom was gorgeous. Nope.

Every one of her features belongs on someone else's face. No. Look how far apart her eyes are. That's crazy. Those are Rocky Dennis proportions from the movie Mask. I mean, her teeth. This is the prettiest picture. No, dude.

That girl's ugly to a blind person. That hand touch on the face is ugly. She's not bad. I'm going to do that for my next shot for my phone. Separate your eyes? I'm going to do this. Oh, yeah. But then put your eyes like a horse

on either side of your head. Jesus, Liza Minnelli. She wasn't that bad. Who, Judy Garland? I follow Liza Minnelli on Instagram, I like her. Really? Yeah. Why just an old fucking...

She was a talented woman. An old gay hag, falling to pieces? She was very talented. Was she? Yes, Liza Minnelli? Sing, dance, act. Jacob, you gotta procreate, you gotta fuck one. Liza Minnelli or Babs. Come on! Is this really?

Look at her! Look! Look! I'm going Barber Streisand. Well wait, what year? Cause I hate that short... Any year! Her eyes never grew closer together! I'm going young Liza Minnelli over young Yeah, there you go Jacob you too. You said Liza Minnelli What you said Liza Minnelli show me young bad. You're absolutely kidding me picking lies I'm first of all Jacob you're so tiny if you stand right in front of her nose. She's not gonna see you

Yeah, I'm gonna go right around Junk of Jacob don't back down. You're not backing down. You said Liza Manali never change your mind Your thing with Barbara Streisand Jewish princess, dude. She can sing Look at young Liza. She's cute. She's not crazy what you're saying. We'll say Danny Braff Now you can't unsee it cuz it kind of does fucking Jay bring up there Don't do it. Don't do it. God Danny breath looks like a young Liza Minnelli. I heard it here first. Damn it You're right. You're a hundred percent right Looks like my autistic producer on YKWD

Fuck you just ruin Liza Minnelli forever. I did. Oh man Christine just bring up a picture Why would you bring a moving thing up where he's looking down the whole time? Stop yelling at her. It just seems like a picture was... There he is. There it is, buddy. That's Liza Minnelli. I mean, that's Liza Minnelli. You know what I changed? I'm going Babs. You're on your own, Jacob. Yeah, dude. You haven't proved... Show me a young Barbra Streisand picture.

And Barbra Streisand. We showed you 50 of them. Barbra Streisandisand to give her to Bobby. She'll have us both the same time. I think that's young She doesn't subscribe to your Catholic rules Yeah, dude, Barbara Streisand hot Streisand hot hot Jim which one I'm in the more with the hat the one to the right of the hat the one to the left of the Hat. I'm not being unreasonable the girl's got a beak who's arguing you know I mean I like a big nose.

But you're not fucking her profile that'd be weird. I like a big nose. There's no pretty Bette Midler at all she was never had a day. I'm gonna go no. I'm gonna say she did I think she did. She's a ginger before you can fix that. But she's got big cans. She had big juicy cans Yeah, but I don't think I'd be good ones

You know I mean bet me I think they were mom tits right I bet she had mom tits when she was a kid What's wrong with her? Now back like a little rock and roll bet you know dude. She looks like Dee Snider. I'm too good at this She looks like Dee Snider and twisted sister damn it Jay stop giving male references. I want a rock She looks like Dee Snider in Twisted System. God damn it, Jay, stop giving male references to her face. I wanna rock. Dude, look when she was young, the ugliest I've seen her. What, did she take off her eyebrows?

She looks like the face in that picture all the way to the left. Literally looks like Christopher Lloyd in Young Frankenstein. It was like Young Frankenstein. You're right, you're right. Putting on the wits. She does. Yeah, dude.

She looks exactly like Dee Snider. We're not gonna take it. Wow. Yeah, she looks like Dee Snider. All right, gonna take it. Wow. Yeah, she looks like Dee Snider. All right, what about later, Bet? Maybe she got it. Some ladies get prettier as they get older. Go to her in beaches.

The best you're gonna see her ever. Maybe beaches, yeah. Not bad, no? Scroll down. Oh, she had something done if that was her. Listen, buddy, she could've caught it back in the day. I say, also I've said this. I've done way worse.

Mayim Bialik plays young Bette Midler in this movie. And in Blossom, I thought Mayim Bialik was all right. We were all obsessed with Six, the neighbor, because she had a fat ass. But Blossom herself, I thought was cute. She aged in two ways, just a hideous man. Yeah, Bapmil looks like Babs' fat sister. Yeah, but I thought Blossom was kinda cute.

Is she the girl that was in, she was in that, Big Bang? Yeah, she really fell off. Yeah, she fell to pieces, but she was a cute teenager for sure. And then she's just like a fuckin'. You like a big nose girl? You like a big nose?

I think I don't mind it so much. I love it. I love a big nose. I love a big Italian Jewish nose. She's also, she's prettier than she was in that show. They kind of frumped her up in the show. I don't know about that. She frumped her face up herself. That's a frump face.

She like didn't want to be in Hollywood, and then she frumped up, and now she's trying to get back in the Hollywood. Yeah, she's frumpy. Six was the girl on Blossom, though. If you were gonna do a muscle memory pound off to one, that would be the hell. She's frumpy. Six was the girl on Blossom though. If you're gonna do a muscle memory pound off to one, that would be the one.

I never. Genevon Oy. I love that they always wind up jerking off to their faces. It's so weird because she's like a child now when you look at her. No, no, no, no. Not the Genevon Oy. Well, I was a child then,

but Genevon Oy did, what's her name? No, she ended up doing like bikini pictures and shit. Yeah, can we not look at children children? We're gonna we would bang Can we not do that? No, we're not we're looking at pictures. I was an adult. There you go. Yeah, look at that caboose, dude Yeah, she's hot. Why did she go to porn? Why is she taking photos? Oh, yeah back in the day when guys anybody guys yes women were just getting all depressed I'll give you a piece of my mind.

That's just cute. Little weird butt. And in my opinionation, yeah, it's weird, all right, huh? Why do you hate asses? What's wrong with them? I love asses. Girls' asses. I love guy asses. Why do you hate girl asses so much?

I love girl asses. You said Doja Cat's awful? Doja Cat's aw- it's just big. I don't like a big, oversized- There's a video I saw with Doja Cat the other day. She's like shaking her ass above a security guy on stage. It's insane. For you, because you like big, fat booties.

I'm not into it. You think that's true? You do. Well, I mean, oh shit. Finger my ass. That's for love. You think Christine leads with her ass, dude? I'm just saying you like them too. Should I say too? It's a world star, I think.

I don't, I'm not into it. I like a nice regular size. But security. I like a nice ass. I just don't like a weird big ass. I don't, I don't, it's not into it. It's not weird. I know what you mean.

There's crazy ones. My daughter watches that baddie show, it's not into it. It's not weird. I know what you mean. There's crazy ones. My daughter watches that baddie show, which I gotta get into. It just looks like a thing. But all those girls are in bikinis, and they get, their bodies are ridiculous. Their butts have like knuckles in them,

because there's like too many crazy shit happening. I don't think Doja Cat has that. That's too big. It's not though. She's teensy. Do you think it's too big, Jacob? Do you like her big butt? I? Mean I'm more athletic you know yeah, you don't you like a regular, but come on. What about you?

Well, I don't I'm not into this at all. I love her you do yeah Yeah, I'm always in DJ Lou of course he likes a big, but oh yeah, it's in the name I made the other sound guy't pay for Worldstar. I made the other sound guy laugh. Black Lou Lozo. That's what you know. I made the rookie sound guy take a little trouble. Why are so many ads on this?

I just wanna see Doja Cat's butt. Again. It's an adorable little dog. I wanna see her butt again. Again. It keeps going off. There's no like skip ad. It's not my type. I like a lot of asses, but I like little asses. Come on but I like little come on Bobby. What's wrong with her body be honest?

Really you like that. I don't look she's so little hate it. Oh I don't like it. It's too big. It has too much hang over the back. Yeah, what are you talking about? Oh, much it gets too hot in the summer it smells I know you're saying there's bad dude, where they get baggy asses, it's weird. You gotta have fucking baby wipes every time you go with her just to make sure the little, because she walked a block in the fucking sun and her ass is dirty and sweaty, ugh.

You're out of your tree. I don't like it. She had butt implants? Yes. Maybe. It's obvious. Of course she did, and plus it's not even. They're basketballs.

It's not even her ass, it's like fat from something else. Well they don't get implants, yeah. You have fat from other parts of your body. It doesn't look right. It doesn't look right. There's something off. OK, Jacob, you won't fuck the OJCAT. No.

No. All right. None of us would. You better pray to God. I'd rather have sex with Liza Minnelli's butt. There's not. Dude, if you're going to have sex with anything, Liza Minnelli should be your butt for sure. Look at that one in the middle, right there, right to the left.

I wouldn't let Liza Minnelli suck my dicks. I'm wearing my hip bones. Yeah, right there. It'll poke her eyes out. Right there. With her crazy eyelashes? Oh, just click the button and stop with your judgmental. So Jacob, what I was doing,

what I was saying back there, She's cute. was that if Liza Minnelli sucks your penis, so bring up picture of Liza Minnelli, Christine, please, from the Young Ones, please. If you wouldn't mind. Just where we were. All our husbands are gay, by the way. So funny. Okay, so you got Young Liza Minnelli. Look it, she's not cute.

So, no. So Jacob. No. Why are her lips all chapped up? Because she's got lips. Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, AKA The Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson Bob Kelly aka the rooster I'm big J. Okerson. I only have one aka I'm a cowboy look if you love the bonfire, which you know you do you this is just half of the show That's right. It's the podcast version everybody So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment too.

It's not just us. You got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show. You can go to all kinds of other shows. And you know what, tell a friend. But most importantly, this show. Yeah, this show. Just go to this show.

Do something resembling anything. Hey! Hey! Here he is. Bad timing for me to say this great joke. No, for this great, seems inappropriate for somebody walking in and making a joke I was making. Go ahead, say it.

I said if she blows you, you have to be careful because your hip bones might poke her in the eyes. It was an eyes far apart joke again. The timing was throwing the hell. Donnie, how are you man? It's so great to meet you. The great Donnie Dust is here in studio. Welcome, brother. How are you?

I'm York. I mean, I tell you this, dude, he's definitely a man. I mean, everybody in here is just a dude. I know. Jacob, so you still think you could beat him up now that he's here? Yeah, go ahead, Jacob. Go ahead, talk to him, Jacob. I mean, seriously.

Jacob, when you said two hits, you hitting him, him hitting the ground? Yeah, go ahead Jacob. Say what you're going to say. Let's take care of something. Jacob, remember when you said this pussy doesn't want me in a knife fight? Yeah. I got one. It's in my boot.

You can have it. Yeah, remember you say you take a obsidian knife and put it where? Where would you put it? Obsidian what? I love your obsidian knives. Jacob, remember you said if you guys were in prison together, he'd be holding the handkerchief out of your back pocket?

Remember that? You make him wear pigtails in prison? Remember that? Who said that? Donita, you said would be his name, which I didn't think was appropriate. Remember you made him put his hair up into a little pigtail, because that's the way you like it?

Go ahead, say it, Jake. I don't even like this line of jokes. No, say the thing that you were saying before. He'll be doing your laundry and wearing half tops. Look at the jawline on this man. Well that seems like a backpedal. That seems like a backpedal. Donnie Dust is in the studio with us. Great to meet you, man. Thank you so much for being here. He's got his books, Scavenger and Wild Wisdom. You can get them on, I believe on Amazon. And you have a website. I do. It's shit, DonnieDust.com. I just forgot that for like two seconds. Because you don't worry about the internet. wisdom you can get them on I believe on Amazon and you have a website I do it's shit Donnie dust calm I just forgot that for like two seconds because you don't

worry about the internet I don't know you don't care about I almost killed a guy getting here really there was so much traffic I don't know how you guys function in this city it's bad killed guys it was bad no you have to unleash that once in a while yeah I do it to bad people like Dexter though I take back the night did you now you, have you been to the, you've been to New York a bunch of times. Yeah, well I mean I grew up in Middletown, New Jersey. So I used to go like Sandy Hook,

I used to buy weed from a guy in Flatbush, so I mean. Do you still smoke weed? Occasionally, I'm from Colorado, so I mean it's customary. Usually when people come over you offer them welcome to the house. I wouldn't make cave living much easier. Yeah, but it's customary. Usually when people come over, you offer them welcome to the house. I would make cave living much easier. Yeah, but here's the thing. I tried to explain to everybody,

because I got into bushcrafting and primitive camping and kind of out, I love going camping at the KOAs and stuff, but I wanted to go a little further into the- Well yeah, Bobby informed us that you lived in a cave from I think eight years old to 26 years old. That's not what I said. It's close. It's close. But you, I found you on TikTok.

And you would always, you struck me because your thing was people would say, hey, could you make this? Could you make a bow and arrow? Could you make a knife? And you'd be like, yeah. And then you just, you just did it.

It's so weird to have him do it. He's doing it here. I'm so excited. He can make everything. He can make, but he literally, anything, and all of a sudden he'd be like, he would just go, yeah. And then you'd make it.

And that's amazing to me. But you're making it the way they made it thousands of years ago. Correct, yeah, that's kind of the premise, is like primitive skills, you know, Neanderthals, cavemen, you get some raw rock, and then you, you know, craft a knife, a spear, an atlatl, and then you go out and you hunt something with it, and then, you know, eat the flesh of that animal

and sit in a fire. Can you make a 42-inch flat-screen Samsung? With enough time. Okay. With enough time. It's gonna take some time. and sit in a fire. Can you make a 42 inch flat screen Samsung? With enough time. Okay. With enough time, it's gonna take some time. I don't mind that. That's good, that's good.

But TV glass is a great excuse. Nothing that's worth anything is gonna be worth the wait. But I read in your book, cause I read it. He listened to it. It's not audiobook. Not yet. No, he I read it. He listened to it. I read it. It's not audiobook. Not yet. No, he had his autistic assistant read it to him.

That's what he calls audiobooks. He read it in eight minutes. No, no, no. No, that's awesome. And he looks like Liza Minnelli. He does look like young Liza Minnelli. I read your book, Me and My Son Are Reading, Scavenger, which is kind of the story of your life

and how you got into all this stuff. And one of the things I found interesting was that, because I was wondering, why are you making primitive stuff? Why are you out there making these primitive knives and at-lattras and bow and arrows and all this stuff? And it's because of creativity. Because when you teach classes,

which we should take, by the way. Yes. I think we should do it also, just teach things we don't know. How do you make a knife with a rock? Because I guess like file down both sides of it? No, it's not. I'm not a very confident teacher.

How do you make a fire? I think it's with two sticks, but I don't know, doesn't seem to make sense. Could also do something with like a... You got the concept, right? You could do something with a rope, I think,'s with two sticks, but I don't know. Doesn't seem to make sense. Could also do something with like a, like a. You got the concept, right? You could do something with a rope, you could do something with a rope I think also maybe. Bode drill.

Jamie just be thin and dead with two sticks on his tits. Oh yeah dude, I'm gonna come back yoke dude, cast away. You eat him first. Oh yeah, I know right? That's skin you alive. Oh yeah, my hawk. I bet my hawk is salty. Oh my god, as soon as the electricity goes out, we kill him first. Oh man. hawk. I bet my hawk is salty. Oh my god as soon as the

electricity goes out we kill him first. Oh man. That's food for six months. I bet my fucking rump is a nice just fucking. As a first impression like you just came in here can you already rank do you already know who's who's dying first if it's if we're lost in the woods? I mean. If you have to rank us who's gonna last the longest? We already have a blood kind of like enemy thing going on here. So you're going down. We're gonna eat you first He's got some skill. I'm getting killed. You're getting we need food. They're turning on you. No, it's not about turn We love you, but we have to survive. I thought we were gonna die from like Oregon Trail shit like dysentery We're not gonna be food. We're not gonna eat Lou his tainted alcohol blood.

Oh my God, yeah, don't eat Lou's fucking rum ham over here. Jacob's got nothing on him, we might as well just kill a pigeon. Lou's already, Lou's fermenting the second he dies. Plus if you stab Jacob, it's not gonna penetrate his seven hoodies. That's true, yeah. I didn't need to be first,

but I wanted Donnie to say that I would last like second. You thought he was gonna say the guy wearing seven jackets inside is gonna survive? No. Right, yeah. No. Mike, do you have the most chance of any of us to climb a tree?

You have to know how to. You have to know. How dare you? But you said. I wanna be tested now, all of us. You said in your book, we can do that. You said in your book that it's because we started out with nothing.

Yes sir. And we didn't have knives, we didn't know how to hunt things, we didn't know how to forge, and it's all from creativity. It's all like figuring out how would I kill that thing. We don't have teeth, we don't have fangs, like other animals to kill.

Correct. And we had to figure it out through creativity Yeah, we kind of just mirrored what the environment kind of showed us claws fangs wings things like that We built tools we took raw stone and created those claws and fangs and then you know used them against megafauna giant bears mamas things to that extent throughout the history of time and Allowed us to ultimately progress to where we are today, you know, sitting inside of a studio. Yeah, Jay using Uber Eats to get food sent to his house, and me going to Starbucks and getting a quad latte

with a splash of cream. Yeah. Hey, can you make a confused Asian Uber driver that can get me somewhere slow? Um. Um. Can you? Yeah, I'd be glad to can.

Not enough time. Not enough time. I'd be glad, that's not an issue. Not enough time gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Probably more thought, but like in the functionality, is that completely what you're thinking of when you make some of the stuff? Or do you put any thought into like the look of it? You know what I mean? Kind of being cool also? Yes or no, I always go tools first, trophies later. Tools will get you by, they'll catch you food, build you fire, and then the trophies are kind of like,

you can create them, use them, but tools first. So I mean, like some of the stuff that I sent Big Robert here, I mean. some of this stuff that I sent big robber here I mean, what is that? Is that your old right here? Is that your abusive stepfather skin? Did he skin your stepfather? Yeah, this is Billy Billy M. Is that fucking Billy? This is actually that is scalp this actually is bush fat He was a choose Italian Greek and he cut off all his hair above his penis. Oh, this is gunt That's your fucking shitty stepfather's gunt?

Yeah. Oh, man. Six months in the cave, that's what it comes out looking like, I'll tell you. Let me see if I can name the things they are, Bobby. Yeah, let's see if you can. Okay, those are arrowheads. These are arrowheads. And these are made from?

So that's a piece of chert. This is Georgetown chert. And that big spearhead's a piece of dacite, which is a type of volcanic rock. How long does an arrowhead take to make? Because the smaller it is, it seems like the more fine work takes a long time. What else have we got? You start with the smaller piece, but I mean,

like an arrowhead this size is probably like 20 minutes. That's maybe like an hour. It's a throwing knife, maybe? No, you don't throw knives. Why not? This is a knife you use. Guy did it on America's Got Talent the other day. Like this blade I just used, similar style on a bison.

We butchered a bison, my girlfriend and I, she's out in the lobby. But yeah, then we smacked open it. She's doing something crazy out there right now. She's like, she's drinking coke. She's taking the skin off a deer. No, she's out there just doing regular people stuff. She's listening to music, drinking coke. She's taking the skin off a deer. No, she's out there just doing regular people stuff. She's listening to music, drinking coke.

She's doing McDonald's. Oh, yeah, everything. She's like, oh my god, look at the functioning lights. This is amazing. Oh my god, I don't have to run in a wheel. She's bought a fake Gucci outside. You guys got to run in a wheel to get the... We don't even own a microwave, though.

I will throw that out. We try to keep it very simple. No coffee maker, no microwave. I just got a bed like two years ago because we started dating. So it was awkward at that first kind of like, hey look, you're gonna come upstairs, you're gonna see some weird shit.

Bison hides, caribou hides, some wool blankets. And she was like, I'm cool with it. And I was like, all right, that's how you get. She's like, I think I'm dating a psycho. Is this guy's awesome or a fucking psycho? You just see like one of the trophy plaques in the wall with her name on it, but nothing on it yet. And you go, that's weird.

You see a bunch of. Who's that? You see a bunch of finger necklaces. Yeah, who's that for? What's that thing in the middle? This one. This right here? This right here? This is a. Cork? No, this is. Wine, oh, in case you bring wine. No, yeah, this is a Mm-hmm. This is a

Wine oh in case you bring wine. No, yeah, this is a ferro rod. This is how you start a fire Oh, you do is you'd get a feather stick or some type of any type of like grass or anything? That's really dry really small and then you can Shoot a spark off of this. This is I'm me do it. You say it. You want me to do it? All right. Let me see, wait a second. Oh my God. Okay, all right, now we're talking. So this is how you, smell it?

You light a, I just lit the studio fire. No. You just light a fart? It smells like my farts. But this is what you'd light, you'd take this out. That's awesome. And you'd make like a feather stick, put that in the fire, get all your wood together,

small to medium to large, and then you'd start the little fire with that, and then you'd bring that over and then put the little ones on top, and then the medium ones, and then the bigger ones, and then you have a fire. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you the memory you're gonna whack off to next time

is Donnie nodding his head as you're getting these things correctly. I know. That was perfect. He's sitting next to you going, mm-hmm, yeah, absolutely. What's the black thing? This black right here? Yeah, double-sided dildo?

No, this, can you make that? I've had a few requests. Did you have an episode? Oh man, I get some weird requests. Can you get an upside-down? An obsidian dildo? Obsidian butt plugs, that's a favorite. Oh, that's probably easy to clean.

It's not very porous, right? It's really sharp going in, that's the issue. It's like razor blade. You're gonna have's really sharp going in. That's the issue. It's razor blade. You're going to have to round it. Through time, it'll dull. Draw me a diagram from your experience. It'll dull through time.

You want it sharp to start the hole. You don't want to go blunt force. You want to get the hole open. Did you? Now, am I saying this, that obsidian knives are the sharpest knives? Correct. A raw obsidian flake, it's sharper than a scalpel.

And they use them on eye surgery. And I mean, you really can't go wrong with obsidian. It's the sharpest, really, element on this planet. It's pretty awesome. And it's volcano rock, right? It's volcanic glass. It's essentially glass, the same composition. I mean, when you think of stone, there's

different varying degrees of stone. But obsidian actually falls within that glass. And I've severed huge chunks of flesh and just given myself stitches from just one slip. Obsidian goes right through the hand and just takes off like a quarter-sized chunk. This is what they used, Apocalypto, 2000, 3000. This is what they were using to survive and conquer. They would make something like this, put on the end of a spear, and they would hunt with this. They make muck-a-waddles and large ass.

Muck-a-waddle? Muck-a-waddle, which is a... Muck-a-waddle, Jay. He knows what it is. Yeah, I know, we know, it's just, but you should explain it, though. I mean, you're here, you talk. I know what a muck-a-waddle is.

What are we even talking about? Do I know what a muck-a-waddle is? A little insulting, a little insulting so I was going to go to the bathroom. But now I'm not going to go to that. That's that's Christine's order at Starbucks. Can I get a muck a waddle? I'm drinking a muck a waddle. Donnie. But you just give yourself stitches. Do yeah. Yeah, it's a lot easier. It's cheaper. What do you use?

It's just suture kit. Yeah, yeah, you can get them on Amazon Oh, yeah, would you mind slowing Christine's pussy shut cuz she's got soaking wet when you said that Christine had to give me an ozempic needle Well because you You you you're in the Marine Corps. You went into the Marine Corps as a young guy. Yeah. And you came out,

and around 30, I believe 35 or something. 31. 31. You had a heart attack at 37. 37. You had a heart attack. You were healthy, doing your life, strong, as you are now. And then in the middle of the night,

you felt the pain in your chest and you were almost gone like that. Exactly, yeah. I was in mid-training for a Super Jungle ultra marathon down in Peru. I did one of those. Yeah, those are, I mean. It's pretty common.

You only came in fourth, but that's not bad. That's not bad. I love most guys just do a regular marathon. He does a Super Jungle one. That's a four day marathon. You're running four marathons in four days. There's a regular marathon. He does a super jungle one. That's a four day marathon. You're running four marathons in four days. There's a few obstacles. Most of them require you murder something.

Yeah, you have to, you have like 35 Pacos attacking you. He goes, then you do a slight incline ramp, and then baboons attack. Yeah, and then you have to swim through the river with an anaconda, and you win. That was, I've done that actually. Really? Yeah, and I had to swim across the Amazon River and I raced this guy through the jungle

with just a machete over like a good week. Were you wearing a suit of armor? Because that sounds not... Just a pair of shorts and a tank top and then eventually got over like these mountains and then I built a boat and paddled out. It was just this race with this guy named Ed Stafford and we just raced through the Amazon jungle.

I shot an electric eel with a bow and then ate it, built some fire, slept underneath trees and ate ants. I mean, you're giving me a look. That's good. I mean, such a man. I had lamb chops last night. I did on a Weber. I Do five minutes five minutes four minutes four minutes three minutes three minutes two minutes two minutes, and then they're done I don't like the touch bugs let alone eat them. What am I Joe Rogan?

What about fear factor this guy's swim? I swam over the Amazon River up a mom's and an electric eel, ate it, and a guy had a machete next to me. Chasing. There's still people in the Amazon River who think that planes are metal birds. That's true. I ran into a few of them. You've run into some tribes before?

Yeah, I mean, I was in Africa. What'd you do, show them fire? Show them how you make fire from your hands? Yes, in Africa, I was living with the Maasai, and the only way I could get into this village was to bring in some goats. It was kinda like my offering. Really?

How do you say white boy in Swahili? You say darobo. Is that what it is? Yeah, cause I was earned the name because the only way to really get in was to show them how to make fire by friction, so we're doing a hand drill. Well, that or battle rapping.

But you went with your strength. You went with your strength. I'm not a bad battle rapper. I was born in day twilight can you battle rap well I mean I do have Detroit in my blood okay but I don't want to get there quite yet funny if you just burst it out with an awesome battle rap Amazon I once roamed I had a big machete and I did own I killed electric eel I ate it all up and then I fucked a jungle slut. Yo, I'm Donnie dust Donnie dust He goes one time I had to battle rap in Anaconda to get us some dicey situation So so you you had now you were always into this

Yes, sir Because did you did you get into this in the military? Was your father a lunatic? My father worked in the Woolworth building right here. Really? In the Woolworth? Yeah, corporate executive his whole life, running companies. And I was just kind of the opposite, just

living out in the woods. So you did this before you went in the Marines? Or did you get really into it? All my life, really. I mean, I grew up similar to you with no YouTube in a different era. So you went outside and when you were in trouble, you went inside.

So I was always outside, roaming around, shooting squirrels, eating them, building forts or shelters. And then... In Jersey? Well, yeah, I mean, we had like 18 acres. Oh, okay. I did it.

You always forget it is the Garden State. Everyone pictures Jersey goes, it's pretty much great adventure, the beach, and, yeah. I did it. You always forget it is the Garden State. Everyone pictures Jersey goes, it's pretty much great adventure, the beach and like a Phillies, like an Eagles game. I did, we built a fort in my friend's backyard in Medford. And these are, this is like city life. Like this house is right next to it. We built a fort, we just dug a hole in his backyard.

I'm talking four feet deep, 10 feet wide, five feet wide. And we put plywood over the top. But his backyard was only 13 feet by 13 feet. So his mom came home and beat the shit out of him in a hole. You made a little underground sex club, literally? Yeah, I mean we actually, I blew each other, yes, that's why we made it. We needed protection.

I think it was shallow and you guys just lay next to each other in chair cloth in the dark looking through plywood. I we were gonna but his mom cock-block the whole fucking fire I tell you let me tell you something if you have somewhere rural pretty great kid move kids If you have somewhere royally go dig a hole a little bit taller than you laying down Enough for you to whack your wiener put a piece of plywood over you in a crowded part of town Just look up skirts and whack your wiener all day Anyways what? So that's probably legal in Peru or something

He's gonna have nightmares of big J's talk Is in the jungle and you scare him It's my sensibilities more than me as a person. So when you got out, and in the Marine Corps, you actually became an interrogator, right? Yeah, I was counterintelligence, human intelligence. So in the Corps I was an interrogator, and then I taught the interrogation side

of like DOD personnel right when I got out. But it just really kept me involved with like combat and conflict and the same sort of stuff I wanted to leave the Marine Corps, you know? So that's great. Did you, were you in combat? Yeah, yeah. Oh no shit, where were you?

I was in Iraq a couple of times, the Philippines, Southeast Asia, Indonesia, Borneo, Brunei. This is not the guy. Exclusively knives made out of rocks. Sometimes. You didn't have a gun. Yeah.

I'd use my hands. Come on Taliban! Somebody find my quiver. They're on the line. He took out the whole platoon with rocks. He what? Get my slingshot. Where's my shark double-sided dildo? So, so, so you, but did you interrogated people?

Yeah, I interrogated all sorts of al-qaeda types, hardcore terrorists, guys putting bombs in the roads. And, uh, I mean, the easiest thing to get these guys to talk, it wasn't really looking about a confession. I already knew they were guilty. It was about getting into more information and more info. So it was kind of like sometimes being kind to them. Have you talked to your mother? Give them the phone. Do you want to smoke a cigarette? I mean, we broke guys by getting them to watch Dirty Porno

to play an Xbox. And that's how you get Jay to tell you stuff. I mean, it's probably easiest. From double penetration with black guys, he'll tell you everything you need to know. But one thing's for sure, though. I mean, when interrogatedated I think we all know torture doesn't work yeah you know waterboarding is not the thing yes it is

he goes bad information good information as long as they're spitting something even if his blood Give me a lie. I just want to go home. So you get out of there. And that's when you go deep into. Well, before we jump away from that, because I really, I watched a lot of YouTube stuff of that, very much interrogations.

Very interesting thing. Have you getting things out of people, are you getting confirmations mostly, or getting completely breaking information out of of people's or something different to that. Yeah, there's there's both So there's there's a lot of data that you can collect surface level data bio data about the atmospherics things like that Let's say if you got a hardcore terrorist or you know, someone that's been building bombs I don't really necessarily need to know where all of his bombs are but more poorly who's supplying him how he's getting his His materials because then you start kind of peeling back that those those layers if you will really necessarily need to know where all of his bombs are, but more poorly, who's supplying him, how he's getting his materials, because then you start kind of peeling back those layers,

if you will, and you want to target those guys kind of behind him. His suppliers, who's doing Transpo, are the drugs that's coming across the Syrian borders at financing it. So you really focus in this giant web, break it down and then start puckin' them, or placing under control, taking them out one by one.

And now you're out of that and you get out of that and now you're alone and you lived in a cave. How long did you live in the cave? Six months. Six months by yourself. It wasn't even right on the months. He oversold, it's eight years in one point. I was trying to say.

I mean, there's been a lot of cave time, but I mean, it was just. Eight years overall. Cumulative eight years? I think, yeah. No, it was all. Eight years overall. Cupid of eight years? I can't, yeah. No, it was all part of my recovery after having a heart attack, so it was just the most raw, as purest way to like ultimately heal, eating wild food

and walking around naked and swimming in streams and sleeping next to a campfire. And I would come out. We've got miles from doctors, though. You don't need them. Once you kind of know the plants that will heal you and the variety of things out there, like setting a bone and if you don't need them. Once you kind of know the plants that will heal you and the variety of things out there, like setting a bone and if you don't get injured

from bears and hazards and sickness, you'll do pretty well. Jacob said holistic healings for pussies. I don't subscribe to that, but this guy just takes shot after shot, Jacob. And he's a bleeding heart liberal. He didn't believe in the war. Or America. He only voted for Kamala Harris. He didn't believe in the war. Or America.

He only voted for Kamala Harris. He didn't even vote for Biden. He said, I'm voting for just Kamala Harris. He has a tattoo that says, I love the squad. I'm kidding. He's from Florida. He's on your team. All right.

He has a BB gun. He shoots lizards. A BB gun? That's adorable. No, I have other stuff. All right. I'm Jacob, I'm a man. I have other stuff. Jacob, talk to me when you can make a sharp double-sided dildo out of rocks.

Okay? Please? We're talking to a guy right now. But it's important to know that stuff. Because right now, if the electricity goes out, you're fine. You love it. If the electricity goes out for anybody else in this room.

Good luck. Well, you can come with me. Who can come? You. Absolutely, Robert. Jay, we're working on it. Don't you want to eat me? Yeah, can I say something?

We can discuss that after. Let me get in the shelter, and then when you guys are gonna eat me, I'll be like, wait, wait, wait, I gotta do this. You're from the city though, right? Yes. So I can keep you around to help me navigate around here. I don't know where I'm at.

We need Jay. We need Jay. Well, Jay doesn't know, he has an Uber driver that does that. Okay. That's not true. Jay can get you to the stand and back. I can, I can get you there.

I can tell you where to park after seven. Yeah, I would take Jay though, because he has a nice eclectic music thing. He can sing for us at night. Until our batteries run out. Then we're fucked. There's always backup, don't worry. Oh, nice.

You gotta cash stuff. I got cashes in the mountains and various places, so when it does go down, there's no need to pilfer through the house, try to take things that's already out there, medical. I'm not gonna tell you about what weapons. When I think of the apocalypse kind of thing like that situation coming, oftentimes my anxiety comes to me,

I get to go, I'm not walking the earth with all this stuff on my back. Bingo. I'm coming in really, I'm traveling light on that one. My rock knives, double sided dildo for Christine in case we meet a chick. Right? Um. I want you guys to go apocalyptic ass to ass.

That's cool. I know we got to wrap up soon, but let me ask you a question. Like, what was the most dangerous thing while you're out there by yourself? What was the most dangerous? Yeah, I mean, a lot of dangers stem from just, you know, getting physically injured. I mean, I've been walking barefoot

and split right between my toes open, can't get the bleeding to stop. And then you gotta walk like three days to where you know you have some medical supplies. What about animals? Because I know in your book, you're actually on one of your, with people, I think other Marines, right?

Yeah, the Green Berets. And you came across a bobcat kill, no, a mountain lion kill, and you knew the mountain lion was just there. You actually walked away, went back, saw the mountain lion actually drag the carcass a little, it came back, know it was there, and you went and cut the backstrap off of the kill.

I mean, it was free food. I was out there with two green berets. We were doing some training. They were getting ready to deploy down range, and we walked over this hill. We were doing some training. They were getting ready to pull you down range and We walked over this hill we could smell blood in there the kind of that that fresh kill is kind of familiar So he crossed over the hill kind of ushered everyone back and as we crossed back where I was like, I shouldn't that's free food We should go get some pretty quick to eat, you know fast food in the bush And then I walked back over there this big mule deer had been dragged close to the rocks

So the cat was there he was watching I couldn't see him and I just kind of you know Kept my eyes on the rocks went over pulled out my knife stripped out its back strap And then we went back and ate it was good with cheese no cheese And this this this is the sinew it right here you can chew it you can chew that take a bite No way you need cheese on that Bobby, how would you put cheese on your Sinuet? I would actually be great Donnie dust my guy my pleasure. You're my dude, man. I love your books. Now is all of our guys I'm happy

Scavenger is book right now. You can get it on Amazon, right? And you can also get his book Scavenger is book right now you can get it on Amazon right sir, and you can also get his book Wild wisdom by Donnie dust one the wild wisdom It's a great book if you want to learn how to do all the stuff that he does and if you want to know A story and you want to really have a great read quick read Scavenger by Donnie dust great two great books if you have a kid a boy It's awesome to me and my max are reading this right now at night so thanks for coming on man and we should go on will you take me and Jay out? Absolutely. I want to kill some of my teeth. Yeah you can you have new teeth. Oh no my veneers though. He bites into a squirrel and they pop out.

We're doing activities can I make sure I on like my safety goggles in my mouthpiece? Would you do we should do it? You should yes. I wear it. Come on. I'm gonna hook it up We do something like we kill like an eagle or something or find a dodo Yeah, do you mind if you bring that cute Filipino to film everything though? Yeah, totally. Okay, great I've seen this guy climb this guy can climb We can send this little gunga up for coconuts and all kinds of shit. I'll take his shirt off. It's all tribal tattoos Absolutely, he'll do a hookah for us to scare off any lions. We send him forward for the big cats We can send this little gunga up for coconuts and all kinds of shit. I'm gonna take his shirt off, it's all tribal tattoos. Absolutely, he'll do a hookah for us

to scare off any lions. We sent him forward for the big cats. That's fine. Go check him out, at Donnie Dust, Paleo Tracks and Donnie Dust on social media, TikTok, Instagram, everything. Make sure you check him out. And Big Jay. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you, brother. Big Jay is going to be a fully loaded festival all June, and then Richmond, Funny Bone, and BigJayComedy.com. Orgata, Bobby's going to be in St. Louis. That's it. June 14th and 15th. This weekend. Come see me.

And every Tuesday night. We'll catch you guys when we come back. We'll see you guys next time. Take care.