The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - O.G. Fat

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Big Jay has a rap battle to perform at Skankfest and Bob shows him how it's done. Jay goes through memories of growing up fat. Bobby reveals a repressed memory. The guys try and hum songs into the phone so A.I. can name that tune. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly You know I'm getting ready to throw down battle rap No, I can't I don't want to give them away they have to get the ooze and Oz when I say I'm at Skankfest But I'm laying down some pretty dope tracks To the We're gonna use the which McCall beats for using onyx last days shook ones part two and Made you look nauseous

three goodies You want to hear these beats Jacob you want to see what's up, dude? and made you look nauseous. Three goodies. You wanna hear these beats, Jacob? You wanna see what's up, dude? I'll introduce the show while we hear these dope ass beats. What'd he give me first, Lou? Instrumentals? Oh. Oh. And everyone in the audience is gonna be falling

into each other. Even though's uh, you know, it's hot as Vegas I assume we're all gonna be wearing triple fat jackets and everyone's gonna be falling into each other. Oh Cry me oh I'm about to flame on them No, I wish I could lay down some of these tracks for you right now I can Black Lou I meant to tell you on the break today, but I didn't My dope ass lyrics. All right. What's the other one last days by Onyx? Yeah, yeah

Bobby your entire ass Bobby Bobby your whole entire ass Bobby I don't know if you're a whole entire ass. No, not the whole ass. Bobby, I don't know if you knew this. Your entire ass? Oh, come on. Oh. Onyx? Bobby, you're not hip hop enough to quite get this. Buddy, listen.

But this starts speaking through me right now. First of all, I'm more hip hop than you. No, come on. You're being crazy. Name it, dude. Woo. I got fucking. How do you spell woo? W-O-O. You, sucker.

Oh, man, I'm relaying this down. So are you supposed to be rooting for me against Lewis? You don't like Lewis. I love Lewis. I just don't. Yeah, but you don't like him. I don't like him. I love him.

You're right. I don't like him. Of course. That's how we live our lives,ving a man we don't like. I could rap to this. Yo, in the studio with Big J. No, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. What? He's cool, there's two cool black guys in the room now,

so don't start rapping. He might like it. No, you're gonna lose confidence. He's not gonna like it. I'm not gonna lose confidence. His smile's mean. Let me go. He's gonna laugh with his friends later. Don't do this.

This is like sending a poem to an ex. Yo, two black guys in the studio. friends later. Yo. Don't do this. This is like sending a poem to an ex. Yo. Oh. Two black guys in the studio. One's nerdy. One bangs a hoe. And he's hanging out with his man. God damn it. I told you not to do this. He likes it. He doesn't like it. Watch this. I'm freestyling with my fist. I put it in the air cuz nobody cares fix the TV before I go bare and On your ass and there we go. I'm gonna be crass. I'm gonna swear a little I'm gonna make it real I want to take you down like an orange peel put you in the trash make it rash Give you some HPV and make it stash

Love your face, love your girl, stick it in her bang and make it twirl I'm Bobby K and I'm on the mic I took over on Bonfire for that big dyke with the hair That was fake and now I'm in here take take take taking the mic taking the laugh taking the love taking the flash I'm Bobby K and I'm here here, take, take, take, taking the mic, taking the laugh, taking the love, taking the flash. I'm Bobby K and I'm here with a mustache. It's gray, but it don't pay. I don't care anyway.

My badges work and that's all that matters. I'm here with Big J who's not no fatter. He's losing it and that's why he's poosin' it. He's perusing it. The streets of New York with his girl Christine She can't cook if she had a book in her fucking pristine condition It's not really real, but that's why we don't really squeal Cause we're not rats or pigs or mice

That's why I roll the dice every time this mic's hot Uh, uh Okay, so I'm gonna give you a, I'm gonna give you a clap for if nothing else, you kept going. You kept saying stuff for sure. Ah, shit. You used words that you don't know what they mean, Pyroos.

That was fantastic. And by the way, and the ball bag to do it because that is my fear. I've written some fantastic shit, I think. Not fantastic, but good. Yeah. Funny. Sure., but good. Funny. Stuff against Lewis, but go up there and performing. I said you have to perform it.

You can't go out there and do it. I have to do the hand motions for the stuff. You gotta get the crowd involved. You have to demonstrate a little bit, maybe put hands on them a little bit. You can do a little yeet, get them going, get them doing something. Absolutely, there's a lot of that. As you walk out,et, get them going, get them doing something. Absolutely.

As you walk out, you should get them going to the beat like this. Maybe bring up your iPhone. Have them put their iPhones up. It's a pretty white event. It is going to look like that. What you're doing is right. Let them hold up their Bud Lights and lighters. Have them hold their vapes up.

And then the other beat, Shook Ones, part two. These are the three we're doing. And I'm telling you, I think this shook one's part too. These are the three we're doing, and I'm telling you... I think this is the final round too. This is the killer. Give us a little taste. Yeah? You gonna take it back to Queensbridge? Come on, come on, Jay. Jay. Jay.

Yeah? Come on, Jay. Uh-huh. Jay. Jay. Yeah. Give us a little taste. Oh, you want me to do it? No, no, I just told you. I live in constant fear of this. Don't. Don't be some taste. Oh, you want me to do it?

Little taste. No, no, I just told you I live in constant fear of this. Don't. Don't be in fear. Don't be a queer. Just drink some beer and have no fear. I'm Bobby K and I'm on the mic. I'll rap to everything like a dyke.

Yeah, Ellen's here. She don't do it. But that's why you're gonna have to go through it on the stage. Skankfest, brother. And that's why you're gonna have to go through it on the stage Skankfest, brother And that's why you got a slutty mother She banged cops and firefighters too That's why she called her a goo on her chest And there you were on your little belly watching

Her purr That's why I'm here to make it okay Christine don't know what the fuck to say She's hearing this for the first time ever. That's why your what's that little light my mom's online one. Oh shit. Sorry my mom's online She didn't like that I don't like it either I'm sorry go on her chest. Hey listen your freestyle I'm gonna go it's first place your mom my your mind goes you think of my mom You think she's a whore who has goo on her chest. Wow. She banged a couple cops Yeah, no firefighters though if we had a fire we were in trouble

Yeah, you're in trouble, but if anyone was breaking into our house, they'd be shot dead in moments Yeah, my mom definitely fucked us to safety. Yeah From crime she fucked you she fucked you in what you needed in life. Always Christmas. She fucked me to Christmas She got me. Let me tell you something. She banged the electrician once because the power went out? She got me a stepfather that I will say. Yeah. Brought into my life just the idea, just one,

just the masculinity stuff in general, and then lifting weights because my fats would have been probably far sadder even if I didn't have at least that core of lifting weights in my step. How many fats did you have? One steady one growing up. You're an OG fat? OG.

You're an OG fat from the vag. Can I tell you something? Looking back though, in time, when I look at pictures and stuff, we have a different measure of what is fat in the world today, because when I look back at pictures, I'm like, oh shit, I wasn't anywhere near as big as I thought, you know what I mean?

I did buy clothes at the mall and stuff like that, but I was definitely considered fat, felt fat and everything like that, that was the thing, but it's not like, I mean, there's so many, there was one, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, but you're adorable. But I'm saying, but I always like to say, we always played sports. Do you know what I mean? It just wasn't like a set. There's like, I think it's because like the video game

and everything in your room now, world of like, there's multiple kids at every school that are like that. There's no gym clothes that can fit them and none of that. You know what I mean? That's crazy. I got fat, like when I was a kid, it was the seventies and there were no fat kids.

There was that one fat kid, but we were in the park, we were out every day, there was no TV. TV was Saturday. You got to watch TV Saturday. You could wake up early, you got till 12, one o'clock, creature double feature, wrestling, three stooges, and then you're done. You gotta get the fuck out of the house.

There was no TV during the week, forget about that. That was news and late night sitcoms that you were in bed. In the summertime, you just went to the park. That's it. You got sent to the park. You couldn't hang out at the house. Go to the park. Yeah, but now that park,

you should know that park is full of molesters now, though. I knew back then. That's why I went to the park. Yeah, yeah. They call me River Bud. Guys, I'll be at the park if anyone needs me. I used to show up with no underwear on. And I used to put my little pants down. No, no, that was not.

Oh, little Robert, Easy Target Kelly. Easy Target, yeah, exactly. I used to run over on the guy's knee. Bobby's been molested by every molester in town. They must talk. I was never molested. No, not by those guys. Not by those guys.

But now kids, there's so many fat, like seriously, my first fat was in sixth grade. When my mother left the abusing dude, they used to got, and he used to call me fat. You fat fuck. But one good thing about him though, what? He liked nice cars. Okay. Yeah.

Maybe good hair? Great hair. Great hair. Great hair. Great hair and he used to part it to the side. So he had, he would come out of the, and it still bugs me to this day. He would get a face cloth and dry his hair with the face cloth and then get his comb

and comb it over and then he had a brush, like one of those man brushes, and he would part it. It was like that old school, you know, Mad Men, part it to the side. Yeah, nice sharp, nice Mike Feeney. And he had a mustache. Yeah. I remember that, he was 6'4", abusive,

used to call my, I mean, I, Can cook? No, he didn't cook, he didn't do shit. He used to call my sister a fat idiot. Was she though? Yep. Okay, well, I can't sue him for slander. Doesn't make him a nice guy, but we can't think he's got, we can, no litigation on this. Here's the thing, I sister fat idiot. Was she though? Yep. Okay, well I can't sue him for slander. Doesn't make him a nice guy.

But we can't think he's got, we can no litigation on this. Here's the thing, I was the idiot, she was the fat one. Got you. And he gave her both. No. That guy's a son of a bitch. But I remember when he went, he left, she finally, I just remembered this too.

This, sorry, it was my stomach. That was my stomach. Yeah, it's like, don't Bobby, don't, keep this inside. Don't tell people this sad story. I have to, I have to let it out. I have to. Shut up, stomach, he has to, okay. I have to.

But Bobby. No! But Bobby, it's gonna make you feel. Pain is the pathway the peace stomach I don't have enough room in here to eat these feelings That's what I'm trying to get rid of if I get rid of these awful old memories Then I won't have to fill you hold it inside I won't have to stuff you up and hurt you punch the steering wheel listen the jelly roll on the ride I just remember this this is kind of tragic.

When I was in, I think sixth grade, my mom finally was divorcing this asshole. Finally she got whatever the courage it was because back then you didn't get divorced. It was bad. Well, she was abusive too. She might have been afraid to. She was afraid.

She was afraid. And I understand, but what she was afraid of too is that she didn't have money. She couldn't afford to take care of two kids back then. She was a woman, and you know, back then she didn't even have a license. Back then women really didn't, my grandmother never got a license,

my mother never got a license. It was weird the way Irish Catholics in Boston, if you were a woman, you had eight kids and fucking, you stayed home. So for her to say, I'm out, she was going to have to go get a job. She was going to have to go become another person. Cause she can go back to my grandmother's. She had to find strength. But I remember when she was leaving, this guy, this is such a fucked up move. They finally

get their divorce. My mom told us he came home with an Atari. House is empty. There's like a couch, a TV, and a few other things. He came over with Atari and he plugged it in and we were like, hey, what's that? He goes, nothing, just a new, new gaming system. It's like called Atari. And we were like, oh, you want to play? Yes. Dude, I've never seen anything like it. We're talking, we were playing, I played with a spoon.

Yeah. And now all of a sudden I'm playing adventure. Spoon came back to you though. It did come back to me. Dude, this guy, so my mom came and we were like, we actually, I remember saying to my mom, maybe you shouldn't leave him. Wow, he nailed it. And she goes, you motherfucker,

you're trying to get my kids against me. And it worked. Yeah, completely. I would have took the Beatons for the Atari. What a good move. Yeah, that was technology to tie us. Here it is, that game fucking freaked me out. Getting the key and getting chased by the...

Dot? The dragon. That's a dragon. Oh. That looks like a seahorse, but... Well, it's... It was a dragon. Oh, was it? It's a dragon. Oh, that's a dragon. Oh. That looks like a seahorse, but... Well, it's... It was a dragon. Oh, was it? It's a dragon.

Oh, that's a dragon. You're the dot. No, you're the arrow, and you're the dot, and you have to get the arrow or the key. Gotcha. And you have to go through the maze, and when you go in, now you gotta get the key. You're chased by a dragon. You get the dragon, you kill the dragon, that arrow was your sword. Oh, so once you have the key

Once you get we have no way to defend yourself anymore You have to go back and get the the arrow which is a sword and kill the dragon and now you can go back But the dragon will chase you now boom you can go through bang see now you can move that there you go And if you move that the dragon can't get through the walls and you win now you're gonna bring that back This game almost saved your family But check this out this that's not the bad part. Oh, I just remembered this. This is fucked This is like I never believed in repressed memories. Did you ask if because he had the Atari can we go with him? Mom I think we want to leave with him.

We did go into pretty much tough times. After he left. Well we left, I had to, we had a house. Did he take the Atari? He took everything. No. My mother didn't. He took the Atari.

My mother didn't ask for child support or anything from this guy. Yeah, but at least the Atari, what's he gonna do with it? She left without a nickel from this marriage. Five years, abuse, all this shit. Because she was afraid of him. She had to get the fuck out. We had a huge house.

We had a... Oh, I had my own room. I had all this shit. It was insane. It was like a minute from school. It was awesome. And she left with nothing. She didn't take anything from the guy.

She went to an apartment? Went to an apartment. Two-bedroom. My mom gave my sister a bedroom, me in a bedroom, and my mother slept in the living room on the floor. I went to an apartment? Went to an apartment. Two bedroom. My mom gave my sister a bedroom, me in a bedroom, and my mother slept in the living room on the floor. But she showed the strength to leave.

But I remember, that's not the memory I had. I remember when we were leaving, days before we were leaving, I actually saw my mom being sexually assaulted by this guy. And I just remembered it. I walked up the stairs. Right now? Not today. Oh, I thought you were saying this moment.

Yeah, your face spawned that. Yeah? Yeah, your beard and your hair. The kind of smile that looks like all sexually assault someone's mother? No, it just looks like Jacob's outfit is what he wore to sexually assault. That's what you, just on the spot, you just really remembered Jacob's outfit is what he wore to sex. He saw you just on the spot

You just really remembered him sexually. No, no, no very recently. I remembered him like, you know Not like my whole adult life I forgot about it and I one day it just I remember this memory came to me I was like, oh my god. I saw my mom being Whatever the our word I want to say it but and I remember being so helpless. I'm looking at my mom being whatever, the R word. I don't want to say it, but... And I remember being so helpless. I'm looking at my mom, and she's like, Bobby, just go. And she's like, get off me, get off me. And he's like, fuck.

He was trying to get one more piece of ass before he left or some shit. And I remember fucking crying. I didn't know. I was too young. I was in sixth grade. I didn't know what to do. And I remember I called my uncle and my two uncles came over in like a few minutes or whatever and my mother fought. They kicked his ass?

No, my mother fought him off and wound up scratching him and pushing him off and running downstairs and it was fucking terrible but I forgot this memory my whole life. That guy's dead, right? No, he's not dead but he's fat. Nice. I do know that, he got fat but that memory my whole life. That guy's dead, right? No, he's not dead. But he's fat. Nice. I do know that. He got fat.

But that was my first fat. After all that shit, I started to get fat and love. I remember I got depressed. I had no friends, moved into the new place, had nothing. I would wake up in the morning and go out the front door down the bottom. And I told you this before, I had a little area in the basement, the dirty basement, and I had snacks. I would wake up in the morning and go out the front door, down the bottom, and I told you this before, I had a little area in the basement,

the dirty basement, and I had snacks and shit. And I would just go there and fall asleep in depression in the corner of a basement and just eat snacks. And that's when I got my first fat, when food was my like friend. I remember just having all this food and being so happy and feeling so good about it. Now I'm thinking back and thinking that

maybe my first getting really fat was when I saw my mother willingly getting plowed out on our couch by a police officer still wearing his belt. Willingly? No. No. It's probably not that. She said she was getting a massage,

but didn't look like a massage. No massages with pump motion, do they? I remember that shit, so it's so creepy. It's in my head now, where I can't, I just remember my mom's face, and seeing me, and me seeing her, and then he was just as fucking evil. It's like a movie, cartoon evil guy.

My mom went to work seven days a week. My mom, I look back, all the shit me and my mom went through, I look back now, being a parent, I'm like, I can't even imagine, in the 70s and 80s, to go to work, take care of kids, she was like, I'll never go on welfare, we never had like, lunch tickets. She was like, you're not doing that.

You eat what the fuck I give you, because it's food and it's good, and that's it. I mean, the same sandwich every day, peanut butter and jelly with an apple. I understand what you're asking me, and the answer is yes. We obviously want Max to be as world-class funny as you are. I'll sexually assault Don.

No, that's not what I'm fun- I'm pretty sure that's what you're asking me without asking me, right? I get what you're saying. Okay. You said Dawn needs to be sexually assaulted in front of Max for him to be hilarious. I didn't want to do this in front of Christine, but is there any way that this weekend... I could pop through, I'll come through.

Listen, I'm not talking about life-changing stuff, just some over-the-clothes stuff. Can you give me a favorite? Can you leave the dippy-dee-doo out of your hair and part it to the side and dry it off? Absolutely. Yeah, great. Absolutely, I can do that. You know, over-the-close stuff. Can you give me a favorite? Can you leave the dippy-dee-doo out of your hair and part it to the side and dry it off? Absolutely. Yeah, great.

Absolutely, I can do that. I can have just a mustache if you'd prefer. Yeah. And then at some point I'll look back and I'll go, Max, remember this when you write. No, go like this. Just go like this. Hey, you stupid fat fuck kid. No, I can't. That's too mean.

I'm already sexually assaulting Dawn, who I love. I'm doing this for you. Dawn would just be like, Jay, what are you doing? Yeah, get your hand off my hoot. Jay, what are you doing? Bob's downstairs, what the fuck are you doing? She'd call Christine, Christine, get your boyfriend off my chest.

Yeah, he's grabbing my honkers. I'll teach you how to make that lemon fricassee next week. Yeah, crazy, right? That is fucking crazy. I never believed in repressed memories or remembering shit later in life, but it's, stuff comes back to, that came back to me a couple other things.

That's why I always leave it open. I say, I say this on stage, I don't remember ever being molested in my life, but if I was, it was probably Uncle Mark. You had an Uncle Mark? I still have an Uncle Mark. Did he molest you? No. How?

I'm just saying, you're like, but you know the problem person in your family, does that make sense? And his problems were never child diddling or anything, he's just like a drug addict for a long time and a drunk. So like, you're like, if I had the repressed memory my guess would be uncle mark But I had a great time uncle mark. I don't recall any bad times at all I thought he was the coolest because he was on drugs and then he that was the famous thing when he I

Said he on a Thanksgiving one time or maybe a Passover He was in the kitchen with me and I didn't know that what being higher on drugs or what would make him do He goes, hey, you want to see something cool? And he put his hand out like this and did the knife between the fingers thing super fast. And he's looking at me going like, he's like, huh? Meanwhile he's not doing a good job. He's knifing the shit out of his fingers.

Blood going everywhere. Like, ah! Oh God. Yeah. That's what always, I remember, I have that story in my mind always, and then the next time I heard of that even being a thing. Now I know it was in the movie Alien, and then David Tell, David Tell used to have the joke

where he's like drinking, he's like time traveling, and he's like, you wake up, you pass out, you wake up, you're in a truck stop, you pass out, you wake up, you're in an Alaskan, or you know, you're in an Alaskan or you know you're somewhere playing that knife between the fingers game with an Eskimo loser fixes the tranny but that doesn't remind me of that but man my uncle Mark it was a wacky thing dude just going okay but he's the one I said when I was did I tell that story since you've been here on the show Bobby he asked me to like

so I just knew seedy people no he asked me like he when I was, did I tell that story since you've been here on the show, Bobby? He asked me to like, he just knew seedy people. No, he asked me like, he thought I was pretty good at drawing, which I'm not. You are. And especially at that age, not really good at drawing. I was like, fine for a kid. And he was like, this is good, but I guess he was trying to make money fast all the time.

And he just goes, you think you can draw like, you know, like porno-y type stuff at all? And I was like, sure. And I'm sure he was looking for porno porno. I drew like an awful disproportionate drawing with colored pencils and drawing of a girl like chained to a fence with like a little pussy. Like it wasn't really pornographic.

I thought it was like- You drew a Motley Crue album cover? Yes, except you could see the pussy. And my uncle Mark came by to Pick it up. I guess in our secret rendezvous. I didn't know we were having I was like I was like sure and then I'm Selling this to convicts. He thought he was maybe that's what it was He said he knew people who like made magazines that like could like would use this or something

But maybe that actually makes more sense Selling it to convicts. But I don't know what he was doing. What he was doing. Dude, you want some alt porn? Whatever it was, doesn't matter. What I drew was not at all what he was thinking or looking for.

I don't know what he was to this day, but like it wasn't that. But I was walking out of the house with this weird looking picture. I'm not even hiding it much. My step-pop was like, what's that? I was like, drawing Uncle Mark said, you got people that'll pay for this. And he was like, what's that? I was like, drawing, Uncle Mark said, you got people that'll pay for this.

And he was like, what? And then he had my Uncle Mark come in, dude. I remember that was an awkward, like, my stepfather kind of like chastising my uncle. And my Uncle Mark to me, before my step-pop came in, was probably my best example of like a bad-ass dude. Because he was like, he didn't, it wasn't in shape, but he was like thin and like, you know, that thin muscle.

It was cool. And he was cool, you know, I didn't know he was a drug addict, so I just thought he was awesome. Still cool. Yeah, it was cool. I don't think there was anybody cooler than drug addicts. He had long hair, you know what I mean? He just like looked cool.

He looked cool, he had tattoos and shit, so watching him coil definitely to my step-pop being like, because my step-pop was like a powerlifter guy. So it was him like yelling, and I was like, damn damn I didn't mean to cause like I thought I was just like Hey, Joe, you probably think this is cool, right? And he's like no, it's not cool You're fucking oh you're creepy uncles making Making art porn with fucking well, you have to understand I didn't think anything of it because I don't know that would have told my mom if it makes sense

But my step-pop was to me was always like my step-pop knew that I had porn, I didn't think anything of it because I don't know what I would have told my mom, if it makes sense, but my step-pop was, to me, was always like, my step-pop knew that I had porn, he didn't give a shit. He cursed freely in front of me, I kind of cursed freely in front of him, but I knew not to talk in front of my mom like that. And he's the one who showed me dice first, all that stuff. So it was like, we were just like two guys

hanging in a house all the time. My mom worked late nights, so like me and him were always just home and just had that thing. So I didn't think much of it. I'm like, hey, get in the porno business, Joe. And he's like, wait, what? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, slow down. Your uncle's just jerking off to you a little fuzz

because he can't afford Playboy? It may have just been my uncle born to whack off to drawings. I spent all my money on heroin. Can you draw me a pussy? I was trying to understand, how is going to make money off of this? I don't know. I don't know what he was looking for. I don't know. I know what I did wasn't it, for sure.

But I also remember vaguely, I think I got a call afterwards and it was like the, there's an American Dad episode that has something like that. Like my step-pop yelling at him and then my uncle and me talking next time on the phone being like, that was kind of weird, right? Hey, sorry, I know I was gonna get you in trouble. So funny. God damn it. But that's not a repressed memory at all.

I remember that very vividly. It's weird though, because you think about, the way we are with porn, I'm trying to shut down porn a little in my life. I'm just kinda sick of it. And it's hard to, it's hard to shut it down. It's hard, you know, once you go a certain way, you're like that.

Hang on, your stomach's saying you're a liar. Liar. I just don't want, I'm just tired of fucking porn. It's just, it's like I've seen it, I've done it, what the fuck? I jerk off definitely less than I used to. I mean I'm not talking about even my 20s, I'm saying like, you know, a couple times a week.

The road mainly. Yeah, I would do it on the road, but even like watching what, it's like, it's so fucked up now, because you go so deep, it's so fast with the click and then there's something under that and all of a sudden you're in this place you really don't wanna be. I've gotten much better at that.

I've actually gotten better at just like grab a few clips here on that page because when you click it, it opens like its own tab for each video. Click like three, four things and I'm like, you're finished into this. And then I'm going back to watching something. But half the time I'm like,

oh, I'll jerk off before I go to bed. And then by the time I sit, smoke a joint on the road, like watching something, I'm like laying on my belly, watching something that I'm like, oh, I'll jerk off before I go to bed. And then by the time I sit, smoke a joint on the road, like, watching something, I'm like laying on my belly watching something that I'm enjoying, and I'm like, who cares? Dude, we'll jerk it off tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just the point there. I tried to use my memory this weekend. I just tried to create the thing.

A waste of everybody's time. It was hard. Stupid. It's hard. It's a dumb idea. You shouldn't even try it. I did it. I did it. I found out I want, but I had to go to such a weird place in my brain.

It was like, I don't know. You know what I mean? I remember back in the day when I used, I didn't watch any porn. I would just, I would in my head create a scenario or I was always with somebody I wanted to be with and or some, you or some thing that I wanted to happen, and now I'm trying to shut it down a little bit. If I can shut down porn a little bit, I think that by Don, when Max is a little older

and out more and then Don's vagina's fixed from premenopause, and we'll be able to bang a little bit more. Yeah, I think I wanna be that older couple that bangs. You'd hope, yeah. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I think that. Plus I don't want Max to be into porn

like I was into porn. I don't want him, I don't, I don't. It's gonna be hard. I just don't want, I don't want him to, I feel like it fucked me up a lot. Like porn, the porn I wound up watching because there was no parameters, nobody told me about it. You know, I had other kids do this, this, and this,

and then I just had no guidance from a dad to say, listen man, that's a little fucked up. You know, I don't wanna sex shame anybody. Do whatever the fuck you want. You can watch any porn you want. But for me... Snuff? No, you can't watch people being murdered, okay?

Well, not any porn then. Well, yes, I would assume that you, a girl being sexually Assaulted Japanese shit stuff. Yeah, that's fine Joe I Japanese shit stuff as opposed to a ball that are German and you know, there's no American shit stuff I'm sure Lake Havasu some fucking weird blonde bimbo. Just I'm sure it exists. Yeah, there you can go to a reddit thread called a I'm sure it exists. Yeah, there is.

You can go to a Reddit thread called, uh... Cute Girls Shitting, maybe? No, that might be farting. I don't know. But it exists. But I tend to think most shit stuff's foreign. For sure. Yeah, it's gonna be hard, though. It's gonna be hard. But, you know, but what are you gonna do?

I just, I think if you can guide him until he's a certain age, maybe he'll have... I don't know, I don't know, maybe he'll have a certain value where he's not gonna, like you don't watch crazy porn, right, Jacob? No, I rarely watch porn. You don't watch porn, so when you masturbate, you masturbate, it's all in your head.

Yeah, I think I'm more feral than you guys now. So when you're gonna masturbate, you just have Christine in a room with candles in your head Have you met dawn I Think I've met I don't know if I met dawn I'm gonna tell dawn to get dolled up one night come to the city so you can meet her so maybe you can have a Couple fantasies about my wife Yeah, maybe switch it up.

You've been everybody's wife. Why don't you leave Christine alone? I like to rotate. Yeah, rotate Dawn in, and then you can push them both in. You know what I mean? You can have Christine's creepy laugh and Dawn's fucking shitty accent. You suck as cock. I swear I think I can-

No, you do it. You laugh so funny. Listen to that laugh. Oh. Not anti-porn, but like two or three times a year I'll look at it. DJ Lou, any feedback from your Mr. Potato Head hair girlfriend? Uh, no. Nothing, you think you're just gonna ghost?

I'm gonna call her and break up. You're gonna say it. Do it right now. Are you gonna say it's about the hair? No. What are you gonna say, it's about the race? Yeah, no, no, no. No, don't tell her it's about the hair? No. What are you gonna say, it's about the race? Yeah, no, no. No, don't tell her it's about the hair.

Tell her it's because she's black. No, I have an easy out. She wants a kid. Oh, what are you gonna say, your dick doesn't work? I'm just gonna say I'm too old to pick him up. How old is she? 42. She wants a kid?

Yeah. She wants a deformed kid? Yeah. She wants a kid with a hair lip? What What does she want a kid that needs constant help non-stop She wants a kid with a fucking ball face Then yeah, you'll be fine Lou have a kid with her And one was bowling. How do you know she wants a baby in two dates? It was in her? hinge profile Yeah, that she wants a kid And she brought it up twice already.

With you? You have a black child with the good hair. I don't care. I could have a black child. God damn right you could. You and Christine both. Are they ass on that kid? Oh my god.

Holy shit. Look out world. That'd be fucking ridiculous. Oh, move over Dante Nero. That's not fair to anybody. God damn dude. Big juicy butt. That's not fair to anybody. God damn dude. Big juicy butt.

I could have a black child. True. Again, you could. Very, very true. You could, it would be weird. Just had a black child out of nowhere? Just having a child at Skankfest, a black child on her chest walking around

with her fanny pack and a little black baby. Oh, in a baby Bajorn? Yeah, Bajorn, there you go. Louis, relax, you're scaring the baby. I'm screaming at the baby. You're screaming at the baby. We have a screening of Doug Stanhope's movie going on right now, so if you could please keep it down.

Oh, we should do a lone film festival. You're also freaking out Quantel. Quantel. Why don't we have, can we show Lone at Skankfest? We're doing shorts so we can put it in there Can we put long one two and three and in the shorts? Let's do that. We should go. We should go take questions We should do a Q&A alone Q&A He goes well, I found my motivation. I really was inspired by loan one and

When I was writing loan to electric boogaloo, I was like, why don't we just do this thing shot for shot, man? And Lone 3 was just inspired by all of it, just all the comics out there alone. Any other questions? Alright, see you guys later. What did you guys shoot on? I believe it was an iPhone 15. iPhone 15. With DJ mics?

With DJ mics, so yeah the microphone royalty-free music One one is the best lone one the original yeah, the og is the best the og is the best but lone two Electric Boogaloo was really good on to a solid lone three Hilarious, I'm surprised that nobody made lone four five six seven eight themselves. I know that really should I mean it's oh that should be the Loan Film Festival we take all your submissions of your own loans That's thing loans loan two and three were comedic loan one was an art piece it was actually Loan one was from It was genuine. Loan One was from the heart.

It was fat, lonely Bobby in Spokane, where you're going to be. The Loan Film Festival. You're going to send your own loans to thebonfire at seriousxm.com. Send in your own loan videos. And if you're not familiar, we'll repost them out on social so you can see the loans.

They're up on the YouTube page. They are, right? I think so. Yeah, they should be up on our YouTube page, which is at the Bonfire Radio. Make sure you go check that out and make your own version alone. Nudity encouraged, male and female.

Yes, black and white, do a little, you know. You can go black and white. Noir. You can play it However, you'd like yeah, but I'd say nudity is encouraged. I think the crew should make their own loans I'd love to see black lose loan. It's just him with this girl with a wig And then as she's sleeping he takes it off and then just puts it back down and the music hits and he's just Walking out of the room

Just him smoking on a keiki co. Just video. All of a sudden, she wakes up, and he's not around. She goes in the bathroom. He's not there. And then she puts another wig on, and she runs outside. Did you call me Black Lou at the beginning of that story? Oh, sorry about that.

Relax. Why are you so racist? I'm OK with it. Oh my god. DJ Black Lou. DJ Black Lou. DJ Black Lou, what's up? DJ Blue. I forgot your definition. I'm okay with it. Oh my God. DJ Black Lou. DJ Black Lou, DJ Black Lou, what's up?

DJ Lou. The definition of love. What is the definition of love? Lacking the support of others, isolated. Yeah, there you go. Literary, unfrequented and remote. Yeah, tell me what comic hasn't felt that. Having no companions, solitary or single.

There you go, Jacob. You're in the story At least you're in a hotel. It's not your home. Yeah Are you oh you do your long to shoot mine in my apartment dude loan for it's called loan home A hundred said you got to film that and And then DJ Lou, you do one called Homo Loan. Bobby, you signed it. You like the wordplay? Homo Loan? I don't hate it.

And you go get you go, ah! And then a guy puts a cock in your mouth, ah! Homo Loan. Black Lou, you do Homeboy at Loan. Homeboy Loan. Yeah, I did. I learned how to make, I don't know what that is called, like a signature. So you play it.

You can see it's my little signature at the end. Robert Kelly. Yeah, RK. Is there a sound effect too? That's how alone I am. I learned how to do... Tech. Yeah, you learned tech.

I learned how to do stop photography. Guys, I'm really fantastic at editing though. I'm alone in a hotel so much. Yeah, what are you gonna do? I'm alone in a hotel so much. I'll tell you what I'm gonna start doing. My new favorite hobby. I'm gonna start doing my new favorite hobby. I'm sorry.

It's a screenshot of Jay in Home Alone 2 Electric Boogaloo. His first appearance when he, dude, you have so much pain in your eyes. So much. Dude, there's so much alone. There's a lot of alone. There's a lot of alone, man. Oh yeah, I'm alone, lots.

There's alone. Look at the lone. Lone. Legion of Lones. Everyone's lone. Everyone's lone. Can you tell what I'm gonna start doing in my hotel rooms now?

Yeah, sucking yourself off. Sucking myself off. I'm gonna find every song I've ever thought of in my life that I don't remember what it's called or something because I was on the phone today with a Fanoia and I was Everybody was being I was like, oh, what's that song? I always think of when I think of like Traveling in a movie and I started singing he's like I have no idea what you're talking about. He goes try that Google hum

I don't know what that was and I got it. It's on the Google app It's buddy. I did this is what I did. I went And it fucking came and by the way It came up with this foreign song and I kept going like no and I'd skip I didn't listen to it I just go it's not that foreign whatever that's called and I started uh Doing it again, and then it came up that same result again I was like well Let me click it and see and it fucking was that song I want to try it can I try it please?

Do you own your you have Google app right so fun? Can I try it on somebody's phone my phone's dead? Oh, yeah, can I try it on your phone I? Want to try this it's called Dude, it's getting weird dude. This is weird. This is getting weird This is the technologies Okay ready No, okay results no Jesus Christ that hurt I just told you my mom got raped I Mean, I just opened up. I stopped playing the music when you talked about it. All right ready

It's it's really trying what we're saying though. It's saying YouTube is getting weird like let me try again. Let me try again ready Hmm No, but there's results You're not clicking any of those results. What does it say click those? That's those videos right there No, it's that saying YouTube is getting weird because that's the last thing since you said oh well, I'm not doing the right thing, okay Here Bobby I'm gonna let you do it on mine my phone's almost dead okay Google home You should come over here, okay?

I Love coming over there. I very rarely get to visit you on the other side of the table It is nice to see you. I'd like to come over. Hey Jay. Yeah, can I come over swing on over but I'll be right over hang on one second So it's just a button here It's giving you nothing Let me try another one you're doing a terrible job. What song was it? It did give answers did it. What was it? Electric Avenue wannabe? No Okay, Friday by CG5. No, it was it the bottom one.. Did it? What was it? Electric Avenue, wannabe. No. OK Friday by CG5. No, it was it, the bottom one.

Is that it? Let me play it. Hang on. I have no idea what you've done. Stop touching things. ["OK Friday"] I don't think this is it. ["OK Friday"] That's not it. Bobby, this worked with a foreign song. I don't think this is it

Bobby this work is for me Jacob come do one Jacob come get a taste It's crazy what Bobby just did it gets come here. I want to try to think of a song now that I have literally any I'm to pick You want to know what my song was? Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I got one. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Remember that song?

But you're also, you should've done the do, do part instead. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Come on Jacob, give it a taste. You told me to hum. Go for it. You told me to do do, do's. It's not the Google do, do it you could it said it's the hum you said it says play sing or hum a song You said hum it's Google hum now Google do do doodle-a-doo You I didn't know I could doodly doodly-doo if I could come over and doodly-doo see if it makes a difference

I'll let Jacob doodly-doo Jacob give it some. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm. Man, you guys are terrible at this. Why are we bad?

Dead on. I don't know. That was pretty good. I think you guys are not doing it well. What do you mean we're not doing it? Are you supposed to hum? Do it do do doodaloo doodaloo doodaloo do He doesn't know what that means

Okay, give me a song Sure I don't know what more to tell you. I'm doing the entire song. It's not finding it for you. Because your app stinks. This is what I did today and it worked. That way. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da years ago. That's so cool. It's not cool. It's cool. It failed twice.

It didn't fail twice. It just worked again for me. Yeah, because it knows that song already. Pick a different song. Pick a different song. You want me to pick a different song? But we're talking. You tell me the song.

OK. And I'll do it. Amazing Grace. What? You want to sing Amazing Grace? I think that's too popular. You can't hum that. It's too slow. OK. I think that's too. Yeah, hum that is too slow, okay? I'll go with whatever you guys. I do it to amazing grace hum it

You said that was too easy Well, it's Unchained by Van Halen. Huh? Van Halen, Unchained. Fucking Lou. Unchained. Try that again. I know this. Unchained, it's insane, Unchained.

What's like the verses of that? Unchained, and this is in the same, Unchained. Alright, I got it, I got it, I got it. Turn it off, ready? Unchained Here's the thing though Unchained Van Halen great, but you did it but you look retarded What does that mean? We're gonna be out in public. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

So now you're just, Bobby, you walk around talking to your glasses. What am I looking at? A tree. Yeah, but this is... What is that? A toilet or a camera? It's my voice.

I don't look like I'm Simple Jack. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Let's go, duh, duh. Why don't you just go like this? Unchained by Van Halen. Because idea would you wouldn't know that all right, so give me a song you don't know Let me try I know I got a song come here. I guess over and visit do I have to come over there? Can you're not gonna figure this out you can't hold my phone. I'm a tech guy. I'm the influence. I'll figure it out Come here. Why do you it's why don't you want me to have your phone? I'm giving it to you Why are you yelling at me? I'm not gonna figure it out. Come here. Why do you... Why don't you want me to have your phone?

I'm giving it to you. Why are you yelling at me? I'm not Christine. You gotta push the, uh, all the way on the right is the... I'm not an idiot. I know. I've never seen this until today, and you didn't know about it. I saw you do it one time, and I picked it up.

Okay. I'm a quick picker-upper. They used to call me Bounty Kelly in college. You're gonna keep killing time, and it's gonna go off, and you're gonna need my face. All right, ready? Mm-hmm. Do-do-do-do-do-do.

Do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Mellow Yellow? Nope. Yeah, Mellow Yellow. Thank you, Jacob. Jacob's better than this app. Bobby, what's the song you're trying to sing? Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. What the? Oh.

What's the song you're trying to say? I thought the machine was attacking me. I wonder if it's if it's my voice on my phone. Mellow yellow. Was that it? Yeah. Did it come up? No, no, it stinks. You're doing are you doing they call it Mellow Yellow? What is that? Are you doing that?

They call it Mellow Yellow. Yes. You think that's what you're humming? It's not what you're humming? It's not what you're humming. Mm-mm-mm. That's not even the same rhythm. All right, ready? What?

I'm getting it, you're crazy. Are you crazy? Look, you're not getting it. Do it, go. Hum, hum, hum, hum, hum. Just sing it, make it good. Hum, hum, hum, hum. Just say the word mellow. I'm humming.

You're going, You're on the verge of going, You're cheating. That's what you would do if you know a song. That's what I was doing. I did that Yeah, it comes I think it's your voice mellow yellow Donovan I did that didn't I do that no Jacob you're saying yes. Well, I got the song

Did you hear me say? Now you're doing it. That's not what you're doing. You weren't singing. You're going. No, I wasn't. You know, you weren't singing. You have to you're humming like this. Try again. Then let me try it. I hope this is entertaining for the people at home. I hope everybody's trying this at home ready. What button do I put I'm kidding? Yeah came up I guess I wasn't singing So I go back this thing rules But you can't you you can do that with Shibazam to you know that right not humming really yes you can it's terrible with that Though it's never right right now. Do you mellow yellow with Shazam? Can I suggest can you hum ascension Millennium? See if Shazam does it. No wait, let me do it on this first. Ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Come on. No, it stinks again. No, it wasn't good. Well, that wasn't the song, I forget how the song goes. Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take the, oh, you want me to Shazam mellow yellow. Shazam mellow yellow, see if it works. I forget how the song goes. Blackbird singing in the dead of night. You want me to Shazam Mellow Yellow? Shazam Mellow Yellow.

See if it works. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm to work?? Hmm Did it work ending search This is tough Now it only does recordings. Let me try it sure. I feel like you gave it half an effort Well, it doesn't even say that it does This function that you're all saying it does Why won't you just give Google this win that you're always saying it does. All right, I'm gonna try it.

Let me try it right over here. Why won't you just give Google this win? The color of hell yellow. You're singing the song. What? What? You're singing the song. I didn't sing the song, I was humming.

No, you said they call it. I was not. You did though. Let me try it again, let me try it again. Let me try it again. The color of hell yellow. Still not gonna get it. The color of hell yellow.

You're doing ventriloquism. I'm not, I'm I'm humming there you go Don't on on on up don't on on on on up don't on on on up don't on on on up Don't on on on up don't on on on up don't on on on on up don't on on on up Can I tell you something what it's your fault every time you're not doing the song You're just doing a part wrong on everything am I doing it. Yeah, maybe I'm not good at this All right, I suck Google hum we'll tell you in two seconds. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Are you ready? Yeah in two seconds

Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't seconds. No matches found. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha

Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I Right away if you leave me now Man, I nail satara. I love that program so much. That is so fun We think breaks me. Do you see this? I just found this this is kind of breaking Well, not today Dave Grohl announces, the daughter outside of marriage. Nice. What she looks like.

He loves his wife and his children. He's doing everything he can to regain their trust and their forgiveness. Yeah. He just blowing it up in broads, dude. Get it, dog. Why is it so surprising that a rock, a lead singer to a rock band is banging outside the marriage? That's not, it's surprising you don't know how to fucking not create a baby. Yeah. Like, I don't know, condoms, pulling out.

It's also to pick somebody that would have... Christine just gave you tips, Jay. Oh, that's not... Pull out. This is not my concern. Come on her leg. This is not my concern, dude. I'm not a cream pie guy on my birthday

But here's that I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her. I love my wife and my children I'm doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness We're grateful for your consideration towards all the children involved if we move forward together. I'll tell you what's dumb about this This has to say to me that she popped up and was like, here's the kid. Here's what's dumb about this. There's no way he couldn't have given her enough, I mean, he has enough money,

he could have given her money today. If she was even like, I'm having this kid at a pure spite. Here's what's dumb about this, that he has to tell us this. Well, it's gonna just come out. Hey, but so what?'s gonna just come out. So what? It's gonna come out.

Why the fuck are you going and talking to me like you're responsible to me somehow? Why did you get ahead of this? It's completely for his wife. It's for his wife because he already knows they're gonna catch the embarrassment from it. By all accounts, he's a sweet guy. Everybody loves him.

He's a good man. Yeah, dude, people have, this shit happens. Why are you going and, you're talking to me on Twitter. This shit doesn't have to happen. Yeah, but it doesn't have to. You don't have to get a side girl pregnant. Yeah, dude, look, you're a rock singer. You're fucking on the road.

I get it. Buddy, rock it out. I don't judge him at all. The judge on this is almost like, I'm almost looking at this chick. Like, was this chick looking to get pregnant from Dave Grohl? Was it a side girlfriend? What's the... Why the fuck... But here's the thing. We'll get out, let it get out in its own way. But why are you coming out and...

Why are you talking to me like I... You owe me anything. It's your life, you fucked up. Go deal with it with your wife and your family. Why do you gotta come out and go I recently became I don't give a fuck Push this this is somebody must have a blackmail. He had to Respond to it like he felt the need to it may have been the girl herself blackmailing him I feel that I feel bad for people that they have to

somehow Come to us as people and say, hey man, I just wanna let you know, dude, I fucked, shut up, just go do your thing, Dave. There's no way this kid's not fucked up, like, mentally, at some point. Well, it's probably not gonna be fucked up. The side kid?

No. The mother is either a fucking lunatic who didn't tell him about a pregnancy at all until she had the kid to be like, let's go cash in now, who didn't tell him about a pregnancy at all until she had the kid to be like, let's go cash in now, or she did tell him and like, I couldn't assume he was like, let's do it. You know what I mean?

I couldn't assume he was like, let's fucking roll, dude. Let's have a kid. If I could get pregnant at this stage of the game, I would hang out at every comic and let every lead singer dumping me. That's a lottery ticket Like Arnold's kid and be awesome. Oh, he's awesome. He is awesome. It looks like a Mexican Arnold I know the kid that should have been his real son

That's the guy that should be his first son his actual son that people know his stupid Kennedy son sucks Well, a fat turd dude. That was one of our best bits ever on bonfire years ago It's on dad. Get out of my room No, he's he's out and sees the other kid working out. He goes nice form you have there Has anybody said you're a very handsome man, oh he's looking good today, man He's got the shoulders the fucking V Life together too. He's doing the shoulders, the fucking V. He's got his life together too. He's doing great.

He's just got a goofy, a little goofier face than Arnold. Be cool to the kids during all this if you wouldn't mind. Thank you. Is there a picture of the mom? Oh, no, no, no. I'm telling you, this woman is not a positive human being in his household. He hates her. This is something that was definitely thrust upon... Now, it's his mistake. If you go. He hates her. This is something that was definitely thrust upon.

Now, it's his mistake. He fucked up. But I'm saying like this. I don't think he had a choice in any part of the situation at all after she became pregnant. His dumb choice was blowing a load up in some road bus. Right. Was it what if it was Lisa Trager? So great. It's Yamanica. What if it was Lee's or Traeger? That would be so great, dude. It's Yamanica.

Ah, Dave. I got something to say. Dave. Dave, listen. So I know you're probably not even going to take care of it, but... That's fine. I don't even really want you to. It's really just that.

I want to raise it with my girlfriend in the little studio that we're living in, the Isfallat. It's the cutest place. It's the cutest place. We all have sundresses. I'm gonna raise it as a girl, even though it's a boy. I wanna know who this mom is. Yeah. I mean, if you were a woman

and you got pregnant by Dave Grohl, wouldn't you be like, I'm fucking set? Yeah. You'd keep it? I can't, it's the best I can depend on my situation, honestly. All right, you're not his situation. You know his situation, you'd keep it. I can't the best one pin on my situation honestly all right. You're not his situation You know his situations well his situations a multi millionaire forever

Yes And you are gonna have a his baby in your body and that means you're gonna be connected to him for eight years But that's having a child for those reasons is such a weird Idea do you know I mean the you know apocalyptic people used to do that oh we should follow the apocalyptic standard who might argue that I know we got to take our first break to how many reads we got we just are we just fucking lousy with reads today is it too much we have taken more time on the break in case we have to oh hang on one second it's my part

tell me if I'm dead on yeah did you do it yeah oh my god it was it so much like the album that you just thought you heard the album I thought you were no I did it you did that dude that feels good man I feel good you're the best