The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Old Guy Code (feat. Mike Finoia)

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Bobby is told to get to the back of the line at Keith Robinson's Netflix taping. Jay is treated like a king at the same show.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bond Fire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. He's not a blue. Throw him into the pile of fucking Krun Bullshit. It's not talented. Are you? Are you fucking ill?

No. He's called the King. Not talented. Are you are you are you fucking ill now? He's called the king not talented. Yeah, king of crap. Yeah, but I will fucking I'm not in the mood to I'm the king of cock Yeah, you are you don't have to be the mood for this. It's flat out It's a reason Everybody in the world can do an Elvis impression Everybody can do a journey impression, Huh? Everybody can do a journey impression. Yeah, you can. Don't stop believing. Now it's horrible. Let me get to the fucking part, Mike. I didn't get to my part and I didn't warm up. Don't stop believing. Hold Hold onto that feelin' and scream lights and people hug!

Anybody? Nope. Keep reaching for the stars, Bubby. Nope. That's not good at all. But watch. In the ghetto? My sound identical to him.

And Mike sounds like Denos of the Black Baptist Girl in the back. Absolutely. This is the Barn Fire, everybody. Our final live show of the year will be returning to you January 8th. You still have tomorrow's holiday spectacular to look forward to. The Christmas special is tomorrow and it is what a great night that was. Such an amazing night. Big Jocerson, the great Robert Kelly, joining us in studio, the hilarious puncher Mike, America's Amigo, Mike Fenoya.

Hey, I see. Not Fiona. Not Fiona. Thank you, Bobby. Not Fiona. Thank you, Bobby. You know, he says I'm funny, Mike, that I was, you're almost I changed it to Fiona. Good. I was like, man, when he said it, I was like, of course, not, but a part of me was also thinking, I'll tell you what, it's the most, it's the exact mess up, almost 100% of the time. Fiona, I don't know why they stick with that.

Because Mike Fiona flows better than Mike Fiona. Well, that's funny because that's not even close to my fucking name. But still the biggest, yeah, it might. Bert said it the other day on a live stream thing. Mike Fiona brilliant, a new special, check it out. I tell did it on the Bill's Humans podcast special should be Mike Fiona Fiona by Mike Fenoya My god, yeah Mike fake Mike Fiona Mike Fenoya presents Mike Fiona By Mike

Fiona or just the albums. Yeah Mike Fenoya Fiona You need to you need to go that's my Bob that you need to go get Myonah.com. Oh, yeah, you know many people are trying to get like I'm not gonna fucking search the whole internet for this guy's tickets. He doesn't even have a website My Fiona doesn't even have a fucking web so I'm just gonna go buy tickets to Fiona applegate What a fuck Apple? What a fuck, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is, what is it, what is it, what is, what is it, what is, what is it, what is it, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is it, what is, what Doll dress and mask-arrest streaming down their face always I've always just got done crying yeah they always have Vio they smell a little cloudy and erected shower because it reminds me of my dad when he molested me why your

hair all caked up like that who cares I drop comedy when I slept people are dying in Africa. He's very young. She's really grown as an artist. Oh, has she? Yeah. I saw her in concert. It's great. Oh, I want to see her so well. They, uh, yeah, they cut me out of a, they told me they loved it when I did MTV 2's. What were they thinking? One of them was Fiona Apple talking about my angeloo, the great poet, my angeloo. Sure. And, uh, who was a larger black woman? And then my talking head thing, when I went back to do other stuff, they always be like,

yeah, we keep this on our computers in the office, but no way we could put it out. I go, if you own a apple, we get it. I go, listen, we all love my angeloo. I love her pancake syrup, and I love her as weezy Jefferson. I'll leave a wide bring it up here at the Grammys or whatever. And they were like, can't do no.

TV 2 is not going to put that out. They were like, it was great though. That talking head stuff was such a scam. I mean, it was a scam. The one that I would have told you, if they would have said hey You want to get involved in this guy code show? I'd be like fuck right off Do by the end I was too old and then going like fuck just get on guy code man. I want to get I wanted to get on girl code

Any of that was the more popular one. It was now not all of them I know Dan didn't get one of those I don't think but uh like Shultz and DeStef, no, Christopher Steff, no, got like, overall contracts with MTV, like just do funny stuff with us. Yeah. Just for, I'm like, and that was game-changing.

Money, right, it was like six figures. I asked for $500 one time. Cause I've done, I did it like 10 times, I go, just give me $500. And they replaced me with the guy who did my makeup. No. Listen to me. Listen to me.

Listen to me. I, this is real. You want to take, get your sick ass in here and tell us what you feel about. Take the smock off. They replace me with the alleged gay guy that did my makeup. The episode I was supposed to be on, he was like, listen,

Madonna and he killed it. He fucking killed it. He's on tour with Jesse May, and he killed it. He fucking killed. Wow. He's on tour with Jessime blue so now He's the cuckee co-host of four different podcasts Do they do an old guy code? Is that something we can do old guy code that that you know what would be on what's the channel? You should I'll tell you right now Bobby's YouTube You know what do you live from the shed? We should do I'm thinking about that. We all have a guy code. We're all up in my shed. We shut the door. Yeah.

You say honest to God, we really could just rename this show old guy code. It is old guy code. What we do. We just sit here and don't understand teenagers for a couple hours. Yeah. That's why I'm a fan and a partner Old guy code would be fun We should do you should pitch that pistach to fh1 is MTV still round old guy code Hey, one of your two guys sit around and sing like Elvis and try to sing like journey Journey anybody cool says it just all he doesn't sound like that Asian guy now it's the Asian guy sounds like the other Steve he sounds like the guy with Asian hair he had pinstrate hair didn't he really did

have Asian hair he had pinstrate hair and he had a barrel chest which bugged me and he always wore tails which made me sick to my stomach I did not enjoy Steve Perry's build or face no he did not have a rock star body he had. He had a rock star woman body. Yeah, I like that hair though. Yeah, the hair was, pardon me, perfect. That was a made for a soft wind. Oh, so beautiful. Pinch straight hair.

That nose. Here we stand. Yeah. Oh, there he is. Wait, turned into a fucking Paul Rubin's quick, huh? He really does. He owns a comedy club in Sarasota now. He does look like that.

I pay fair. I pay competitive rates. I would like to set for old guy code to be just the balcony from the Muppets. His tails. He worked in the 80s and the 90s that long hair started to look a little American Indiany Yeah, this is the worst off at the middle right there He had he had the jeans that went up over his belly button and he had fucking suspenders No tails sexy great grandfather. God damn

Bobby this was on every gym in Boston, huh? When you're lifting weights with your jeans. You're gay. Come on, we're rockin' Arrow Smith and with Fuggin'. We had Arrow Smith and the Iron Giles, Iron G. Jake Isles, yeah. Yeah. Here we go.

You! Feelin' that it's cold! We'll be right back with old guy code. What's up everybody? What's the deal with kids? Next up, Steven Segal saga. Yeah, next up, who's hotter, Taylor Dane, or Debbie Gibson? Sean of Sand is the wild guy.

We have Samantha Fox coming in studio today. To enter the future. We have leaked of her big beaver bush. We will send you our old hustlers. She is the musician I've spilled to most in my life. Oh, for sure, Samantha Fox, because right the time that she got famous, I shouldn't say that.

A couple of years if she was famous where it seemed like she was like a done artist, you only have those two songs, but those songs were huge. And then it came out like, hey, remember that girl? No one, this is because there's no internet. It's like no one even knew that over in Europe, she had done spread gash pornography.

I didn't know that. Oh, oh god. Oh god, look at those fantastic. No porn, no porn, but like you can see her chanch for sure. Chanch, she got a nice chanch for sure. Yeah. Chanch. She got a Dutch Chanch. And she had those Tracy Lordes to do.

This is old guy code. Yeah. She had those Tracy Lordes to do those bananas with the big huge pink area always. Huge nipples, dude. Ease nipples look like funnels that you put when she'll wipe her fluid in your fucking car with. It looks like me and Jay's belly button.

Look at that bush. Look at that bush, dude. dude back can you go back up? I've studied this bush that one damn. I like that. I don't mind that oh Mind it. I like I like it. That's called the natural fade. Yeah, it was mean He was a natural fake God faded those pubes out to the side main thing was a natural fake God faded those pubes out to the side. Well, you know what it was. She's not a naturally super hairy person. No.

She didn't even do much shaving. Her pussy hair just grew in a nice triangle. Fetch. Fetch. And it stopped right at her butthole. And it stopped right before butthole. Yeah. I feel bad for girls.

It just goes right up the back. Straight up. Oh my God. If we didn't shave Christine down, her hair would be like a strap that goes up her ass like a thong and then connects to the back of up. Oh my God. If we didn't shave Christine down, her hair would be like a strap that goes up her ass like a thong and then connects to the back of her ears. Christine, I love your bathing shirt, Anne. I'm not wearing one. Holy shit. Wow. Christine like that body suit. Yeah. What does she look like? How did she age? Oh, not good. She died. She's blonde. Did she? I don't know if that's true. She may have you have to tune into old guy code to find out

She looks all right. Oh, she looks kind of like Jennifer. What's her name cool? It's she can still get it. Ah, yeah, she's got a pretty face right there. Yeah, she's oh yeah, but it looks like it all hit it once Let's make Bonnie Tyler Bonnie Tyler age like fucking Bonnie Tyler was gross back then like a wet bag of leaves No, Bonnie Tyler is a total clips of the heart total a clips of heart was never hot. No, she was hot But oh are you I? Zooks that's her now. She looks like the age like shit. She looks like the Secretary and Beetlejuice when they go through the wall Deleted that header throat like the remember that I love love it. I love it. I love it.

Joke doesn't go and you just keep going explaining it remember. We're gonna go. Oh that one. Yeah, you guys remember that Remember you guys remember that lady. I'm sorry. I was focusing. I was focusing on pulling retracting my answer She's not. Yeah, she has that looks like that looks like you and drag. Yeah Whoa, yeah, looks like Rachel Drench but. But that looks like if you take it back. If you were trans, that's you. I take it back. Yeah, it was bad. She wasn't hot.

You take it back, which is a what? Rookie mistake. A rookie mistake. Not a rookie mistake. It is a mistake. Well, you take something back. It's called a retraction. No, it's not a collage.

It is collage. That's not what that means. You take it back. Take it back is not I'm sorry. I didn't What do I have to apologize you for I didn't call you a piece of shit. I just said she was attractive in your eyes You did apologize for saying she was attractive Bobby. I am sorry That I said Bobby time was ever good looking she looks like a fucking bird with hair She does she looks like an angry bird You can pull it back on a fucking slingshot and hit her into a house. There it is, there it is.

All of her features are on one part of her face. But you said that about somebody before I forget, but it looks like somebody took all of their features and just went like this. She's in the other middle of their face. My God, she's terrible, dude. She looks like a twin-peak section. Well, I guess my point was, I saw her when there was that big eclipse, she did the cruise and sang total clips of the heart

during the eclipse. That was a big thing and they showed it. And I was like, whoa, she aged terrible, but I was right, I guess she was never. She was never. She was never. The moon came half the whole time. I saw her in my back.

I like vanity. Vanity was my little. Vanity and who's the other one that was in purple rain? Vanity also looked like her coach tank though Yeah, what like because it was like it was just a little bit like spices from like other places Yeah, it's good in action Jackson Jackson Jackson. She looked yeah, no, but she also started to get a little bit of a hard face Then she became a major drug addict. Yeah, I would go to the bangles. That was my Susanna hoff was nice shit dude. She was her eyes when she goes her eyes in her lips when she was walk like in Egypt

She goes can I say something I follow her on Instagram. She's still hot. She's beautiful. She's the natural looking to yeah Yeah, I'm She's fine. That's what that Jacob should marry like somebody like that But the rest of the band look like a roller derby team Jacob wouldn't think she was hot now I'm telling you it's not doing a roller. They're doing a roller derby team the rest of the bangles That's it that does her hand off Yeah, she's made behind her bottom right Boot it it it's not a Jacob you wouldn't be happy with this in a half-snack. That was a good one

That's me behind her is Shrek That's fucking great Jacob you would not be in his Santa Huffs now No, you wouldn't I follow her. I mean Christine you 64 Jay some saying you wouldn't be great for 64 you wouldn't be in her now She's 64 those are nice legs for oh my god. She's the dress she wore like 40 years ago on What's your all of that? Oh, yeah, I is still fit in it perfectly. She still sings good too though. Yeah, she's still got a great boy She's got those lips those fucking wife lips. Oh that mouth life. Yeah wife lips. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh look at that mouth Look at her. She's so adorable. I bet the love I love her. I bet the fucking the skin next to her pussy looks like Rick Flair chest just that fucking

Tan looks like it's loose, but it's still thin like DDP skin She has the same chest is Chris Jericho now all get out. It's just it's concave because he stopped lifting We should we should bring up because do Mike showed me these when we were on the road. It's my Diamond Dallas page. Who I love. Yeah. We've met up several times. It's the sweetest guy we did as yoga for the longest time.

I did it too. Um, DDP, DDP yoga. But he's so serious. He's so serious. And Mike was showing me it's his Instagram. Yeah. His Instagram, he does things where like walks and took a beach scene and he just says a bunch of like, just like the most basic, it's for like wrestling fans

who are like big galutes. Yeah. That he thinks, you know, he's like, you know, when there's only one set of footprints in the same brother, that's when God's carrying you. And then what's he say? That's when the grow on Fag. Yeah.

He goes, he goes, think about it and own it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he walks away and it stays like that It's his little motivational. Can I say something? I watch stuff like that and I like it. No Fatty you're losing your edge. You know who affected me who? You affected me and Rachel gave me shit for please Steve Hartfield Jesus you affected me and Rachel gave me shit for please Steve Hartfe

You got me a couple of motivational stuff dude his motivational those a couple of them get it girl Stories got me a couple times. Oh I taught I tried to teach him We're not hands you lemons make ripple That's not what is that Bobby. I'm with you Thank you. Thank you, thank you, Black Lou. Yeah, he does a lot of stuff about not being close to your father and not having a college degree. Yes, not having to.

It comes to be the fuck up. Yeah, man, Steve Harvey, and I got shift for Billy Burr, gave me shit in Rachel, and I think Steve Harvey has a message that should be heard and listen to. And you know what, you're never too serious, Jay, to make changes in your life. And sometimes you have to stand up for who you are inside to become who you're gonna be.

Okay. Yeah. How's that? Survey sales? You, you a pussy motherfucker. You a city city. It might dead inside that nothing gets me like motivated or just up or anything like that. Does anything get you?

No. Motivational speech now. No. You have no empathy. My bull shit. Mike did motivational speech for a while as a pure racket. No, you didn't. Yes, I did.

Of course you did. Not motivational. Motivational. No, it wasn't motivation. It was like I did shit with kids kids about like Bullying well that's That's shit about boy might probably bull. Yeah. Oh, no. I didn't I bullied bullies. He bullied me last week Bullshit you've always bullied me. I've been scared you since I've known you back He blazed over with Mike boy boys. I don't know as we would Mike Tyson on our hands over here

I did one time I deal with with my bare hands one time I bullied a bully. I don't like bullying I don't like it and uh, no, but after Sandy Hook I went and talked to kids in schools about like yeah be good to yourself also I needed to mine and each other and each other Don't watch also don't watch Jerry Springer or that's gonna really sound like hacky Do you know who do you know who a comedian? I don't know if you remember him. I don't know if you know him who became a motivational Speaking of Least and I been out. No, she did. No Kyle Sees. No, he did. Kyle Sees.

Oh, I heard, yeah. Kyle Sees was like a young, dang cook type of guy in LA. And I remember, Dane actually told the guy he couldn't wear his Boston Red Sarks hat to the left factory because that's his thing. Jesus Christ. Kyle Sees. Kyle Sees actually, I found out who he was because one of my favorites is two great scenes and not another teen movie which was When all those parody movies were coming out and like the late 90s, but Kyle Seas does the

The slow clap he starts a slow clap choice and no one joins in with them and just it's such great acting and the thing we just like He's not Now dude he is he, what is it called? He doesn't have to be boring, true transformation, but he had a thing living, I think I was called evolving out loud. Oh, evolving out loud, which is basically, I'm gonna still fuck up and do weird shit,

and if you catch me, I'm evolving out loud. That's amazing. This catch you with a underage prostitute because it's all part of the evolution. Evolution, bro. I'm evolving out loud. I'm evolving out loud. You just go to marathon It's a marathon. It's so how do you take this seriously now? Here's the thing. I have the Braumacyle cease But I will say he's doing a racket. This is a racket. It's a racket

I mean, I mean, and Lee Sampanoi does in fact do motivational speaking because she Well, she wants to let you know she's changed her ways. She used to be an insult comic. Do you ever see the last thing she did? What was it called? The Meltdown? No. Oh, at the theater. But like, there was a theater that was like fully bright, like room lights were on, and nobody was there. And nobody was there, and she's like, fuck you! This is my last comedy show I come to do for you fucking guys, and you do this! I do that at Daniel Beach last week on the last show on Saturday Night. He's like, fuck you! There's my last comedy show I come to do for you fucking guys. And you do this!

I do that at Daniel Beach last week on the last show on Saturday night. It's like, fuck this! Why does everybody just die? I got caught in the head. Come here for your Christmas party. I'm a fucking artist! I dare you! Before the sex tape, that's what supported the genders.

It was Bruce Jenner. Chris Jenner was sent him out on motivational speeches Does it you guys are just feeling like you hate your cock Bullying me all the time. Have you done the laundry and trembled when you held your wives underwear? Oh my god Tom Brady face Caitlin Dunn gave up Bruce coming back out look at that you guys ever tried to talk your dick in your own ass all go out to dendee with your family fucking dress is keep showing my bone or

i wish i like men's underwear it hides my dinger better what happens if uh... if if Caitlin changes her mind again? You can oh yeah, I just got a blow Yeah, the fail save just has to blow on her thumb and a dick pops back out Pilate in airplane Welcome back Bruce. She's gonna stress all dick You squeeze a real tight in the middle or dick pops in and arise go Just stick you stick your finger in a belly button

That's what I do they just turn your dick inside out and tie to the inside of your belly button is it a set of pussy Oh anything one thing you got push your belly button really hard. I'm sick of this broad shit It is a rough world for a lady I'm sick of this broad shit. It is a rough world for a lady. That was a funny joke Keith told last night at the special. When he was like, my kid said, I wanna be, what if he says, I wanna be a girl, he's like, I just bought you a 70 pack of boys underwear.

We can't afford it right now. We can afford that. We're gonna do this boy shit for another two years. That's a joke that's gonna get him not nominated for an Emmy. That's a joke. Hi, promise you Bobby. He's not him not nominated for an Emmy. That's a joke. Hi, promise you Bobby. He's not gonna be nominated for an Emmy ever. We went all went to the...

It's a Grammy. Grammy, yes. Sorry. He was... He's gonna get the Oscar for this. In fact, I think this might be his year. He's gonna go the whole fucking run. What's it called?

What's it called when you get all of them? The hat trick? No, what's the... He got... He got... Emmy Grammy... I hate what you're saying. Oscar Tony. What's it called? What's it called when you get all of them the hat the hat trick? No, what's the the ego? Emmy Grammy Oscar Tony. I hate when you're a sneaky When you go Bobby and I'm like visiting no, he we all went last night to a special you guys went to the 7 I went to the 930 we're gonna thank the fans too because they showed the fuck on the Packed man, I mean out of all the people that promoted that special,

the bond fire fans really showed up. Well, we walked in, I mean, they couldn't have made more of a big deal falling over us for putting asses in those seats. It was pretty amazing. I assume when you went to the second show, you were greeted with the same. I mean, we walked in, they weren't serving drinks anymore,

but they were like, we got you guys, we'll get you some drinks, and they got us some drinks. Yeah. And we were just like,, we got you guys, we'll get you some drinks, and they got us some drinks. Yeah. And we were just like, could we just stand right where we are, where we're comfortable, and they were like, yes, wherever you like, and I assume you would, walked right in, jump past the line,

they were like, we saw him on the guest list, and they were like, absolutely give this piece of paper to your, we're like, do we have to check codes to go? No, you don't have to. Keep your code with you. Well, I had to beg my way in basically last night. Yeah, I literally walked up to the line expecting the same treatment. And the people recognizing you in the line, right? Also probably, oh, they recognize me getting told to get to the back of the

line. Right, right. Right. I had to hurt the front. They, uh, the guy was like, Oh, yeah, there's a line. I go, no, my name's on a list. Um, and guy was like, oh yeah, there's a line. I go, no, my name's on a list. And he's like, yeah, the list is the line. Get to the back of it. And I know you're pronouncing it wrong. It's a line, not list.

I was furious. Furious. Yeah. Cause I talked to Liz and I said, I'm bringing Danny and Max, the Tizzy too, the Autistic Jews that I hang out with, I produce my show. And they're like tweakers, but they're just nervous energy.

Yeah, they're just nervous. And they can't look at anybody in the eye, they just stare down at the ground. And they're behind me like minions. They're just like, they're attached, because while you're their way in. I'm their way in. And I'm with them.

And the guy's like, I'm like, listen, can you talk? He's like, yo man, there's a lot. And I I'm like okay, I'm gonna fucking flip out. I text Liz No, get beat up by a seven foot black. I would dreadlocks. Well, he was a five foot black guy Which red locks? Yeah, that's all that matters Yeah, I saw John Lasseter and I went in who John Lasseter? Come on John Lasseter. Nope. John Lasseter. Nope. John Lasseter. Nope.

John Lasseter. John Fanoya. Okay. Closer. Alicia and Cpona. John Fiona. Come on. You can do it with me.

Ready? Yes. One, two, three. John Lasseter. Lasseter. Yeah. Like the word Lasseter. Yeah.

Well then A. Lasseter. First of all, all I'm not I didn't just come here through the board Not first there but perhaps Steve Harvey could have a way to make you feel less dumb about this Don't worry about reading and remembering words and what have you I say survey says and I make a million dollars Survey says Lupinapus new focus $1,000. Survey says, Lupinipus, Lufoncus, Laster, my teeth is so big, I can't close my mouth. I had to grow a mustache to keep my teeth warm. Mine's just fucking full cause.

And then I saw him, John Laster, Laster. Laster? Yes, John Laster. Laster. Laster? Yes, John Laster. Yep. Thank you, Mike Fenolia. Thank you, Jay. You're welcome, Ray Kelly. You're welcome, Ray Kelly.

Thank you, Jay. You're welcome, Ray Kelly. You're welcome. So then he was like, yo, come in, come in. Of course, I was like, dude, they give me a hard time. And the guy, there was another guy in the front. He's like, whoa. And he's like, he's one of the guys.

He's a comic. He's like, oh, okay. So then he brings me downstairs and I'm already fucking fuming Because I thought there'd be a will call or something I could go to so I don't look I don't want to fucking There was it was like a second desk you went to there was no second desk on the second show There was just a line. There was no second desk. There was nobody I had to go through the restaurant and sneak in to get last er hmm, that scared me twice in row. And he brings me down. So the door guy from the cello is there.

All right, come on, come with me. He brings me down and goes, sit right here. No, that's mal. Mal brings me down. Sit right here, but it's packed. And it's all like the Philly crew. And you're like, what's the problem with sitting over here? Well, I just didn't want to sit down with me

into autistic kids. Yeah. They're good at picking on them they had too. We would have made everybody uncomfortable. We didn't know to sit down with me and two autistic kids. Yeah. They're good at pick on them, they had to. We would have made everybody uncomfortable. We didn't know any of these people. And I'm like, I'm not sitting there. There's no, there's one seat. Yo, why do I sit these two twitchy white?

You should have brought toys for them, like a Rubik's Cube or a Game Boy or something to keep with the ball. God, their handler. Who's them? The kids, the boys. Oh, sorry. You're a little autistic, friends. I thought you meant the other them.

Nah, the goose, too. So. Yeah, sorry a little autistic I thought you meant the other them now the goose so Why don't you want to sit with those people? So then I walk over I see Liz she's walking up angry and I'm like Liz can I can I go with the fuck I should Bobby don't worry. I speak jive don't worry I speak jive hey man my little little bit of live up in this model fire nothing cool off his toes with a little bit of you know I don't know I slap it down this one fun time chair up and then next to you now so she does big job

Bobby I speak jive I speak old So she goes, just sit right here. I go, there's no seats, Liz. I go, I'll just, I'm out. I'll just, I'm at that point on my, I'm fucking out. I'm not doing it. I ain't doing it. I ask for tickets if it's okay.

You said yes, and I'm fucking going through way too much to get a fucking seat at one of my oldest friends. I've known Keith the 35 fucking years I should just come down and fucking sit somewhere She goes well sit over here. So I'm like whatever. So then she brings me all the other side She goes here like fuck you you piece of shit And I was like this is I don't want this shit Then she said something it's not about you. I'm like no, it's about you

I don't want this shit and then she said something's not about you. I'm like no, it's about you It's not about me. I just wanted to fucking come and not have to wait in a four-hour line to see my what the fuck What the fuck? Bobby goes you speak jive You speak John this is a wack-do situation. I was so then he sent me he sent me next to Arty and his, girlfriend, his Asian cute little kid girlfriend, who just sat there at a candy. So the giant lollipop in a schoolgirl uniform?

Hey, Sailor Moon, slide over. I got a couple of autistic kids, we're gonna stare at you for the whole show. Sailor Moon, she had, she had just like a bag of candy in front of her the whole thing Oh, she's just nod on a candy necklace. And she's like do you want one? Oh, of course I do yes, I do you weirdo, but hey Yoda's my good friend Candy Cow was so key He's got a fur coat on like it's an Ali fight back He's got a fur coat on like it's an Ali fight back in the fucking 70's beat on to was you put this in the music the whole time he always has beats on he's got a fur coat on

It's just killing me that he has a fur coat and it's like dude. What are you doing? So then I sit down and I'm sitting there. I'm trying to unfume myself. Yeah, I'm because I'm here to enjoy a comedy show Just to enjoy a comedy show, but it's almost my point A lot of times with these things like the seating situations and stuff of comedy. I think they try to really pay attention to that at Skankfest because that really is a thing like I've seen in many clubs when like the sitting process is just somehow like nasty. But like the people who are doing it. Just like the whole yeah, you have to wait here. It's just the tone should always be like good as hold up here for one second for us. Like what? Because you didn't whole, you have to wait here. It's just, the tone should always be like, go just hold up here for one second for us. Like, you're even, you wanted to sit down with like,

like, all right, here we go comedy show. And what I'm already doing is like, Miss, can I get a warrant when they go, it's like, you're gonna have to wait. Even like that tone is just like. That's the tone, like, I walked up to me with angry face. It's like, I know whatever you're doing sucks right now, but I'm your friend.

Yeah. I'm, we're friends. A lot of times that's what people do. They'll take it on the friend, because there's people that they haven't said it to that aren't their friends. Whatever. We've come, we've come.

We've come into that. Whatever dude. Fuck you. Jay, you know what I'm saying bro? Whatever. No, I get that. It's like, it's like, I agree with you,

because I always treated nothing short of gold. You're an asshole. It's almost like you had a bone to pick with the whole situation It's crazy. You know, in fact Liz told me it was about me tonight It was a real Jay I'm gonna all this like you have a fucking sidekick helping you with all this I'll tell Jay that what all I ever wanted was for you to like me It's so much like you come with me on this one at all. I think it's horrible What happened you there you go people thought I was you at the first show I think they're going crack a crack a mother

Fucker and I'm like hell yeah, dude, and they let me write in no they just wish it was you no no no I think Mike should be on your side. What's his last name? Mike No, I think Mike should be on your side. What's his last name? Mike Mm-hmm, Fenoya, okay, why? Well, by the way, second, well you understand we all know human behavior do we're all comics you said Mike again Yes to buy yourself time to double check in your head did not I will you cut you exiled two fiends before you got Now there's one funnoyo In Florida

After the show you corrected Wow Wow Can I ask you question are you you a Robbie to anyone in life? Is Robbie Kelly anything? What the fuck did you just say? Well, I have a brother named Robert. Yes.

And he's Robbie. No. We've never called him Bobby. I've never been a Robbie in my life. Never, never. I've been a Rob. I've been never been a Rob. I've always been a Robert.

Bobby a Bob. People who know me instinctually call me Bobby yeah Bobby yeah people at clubs call me Robert because it's on the contract it's on my website and the only reason why I went Robert Kelly is because when I went back in the day to have a website before you all you motherfuckers Bobby Kelly was taken by a poet dude so I couldn't take Bobby Kelly was taken by a poet dude somewhere. So I couldn't take Bobby Kelly and SAG Bobby Kelly was taken. I had to go Robert Donlin Kelly. My name in SAG is Robert Donlin Kelly. Robert Kelly was taken. Donlin? Donlin. My mother's maiden name. I had because when

I thought that was your actual middle name, I'm like, what do you look like a Highlander? It can only be one of're such a clown, Donland Donlands are Donkins I'm Donland, I look your name up in a Gordon pages It's Robert Donlegale, that can only be one Voices! Yeah! Welcome to 2024, it is going to be almost exclusively voices

All guy code? Old guy code People you don't remember every when this is dick fan pat hey guys. It's Jack Klugeman here It's the dad from Little House of the Prairie Yeah, what are you thinking? I was telling you real for so far. I was thinking about Michael Landon the other day. I remember Highway to Heaven. I would have, he had another hit.

He had three hit series. Little House in the Prairie. Bonanza. Little House. Bonanza was fucking huge dude. Still huge by the way. Still on TV. Do you remember how funny is it that a...

Was a highway to heaven? was like he just like picked up a drunk and made him like drive him around the yeah solve people's problems he was an angel victor french yeah he was a drunk right? uh...

yeah he was uh... mr. ed mr. mr. edwards and little house on the prairie as well sure but i'm saying the character that he played he was a drunk right he started hanging out with a drunk and To do stuff. I think I maybe watched a half a second of one episode of highway to heaven. Oh, that was on my I'm still mad at fucking Jacob the rat. Yeah, he really why did he what did he do in Florida? Did you like Danyabee chim prob? I thought it was a nice club

He really why did he what did he do in Florida? Did you like Danyabee chimprob? I thought it was a nice club How are you treated there? They they treated me great. They were good fantastic food was amazing I made my own little combo steak tip of a rice, which was fantastic. Yeah, I did that too. You did yeah Yeah, the same. What's up? I love you? I love you. Can we camp in someday? I like camp all the time We're gonna do a big camping trip with the bonfire. You can I come? Of course you can. I heard steak tips and rice make you lose your hair.

What a dick. Look back Christine for that one. This three ball guys are staring at you. Just getting a set of hair. The club was fantastic. Great club, the staff was amazing. There was a lot of, see, what happens when it's so big and corporate, when things happen, like, fuck ups happen, no one really owns it,

they do that corporate thing. All those are misunderstandings. And I hate that. I like somebody going, look, I fucked up. I'm sorry, it was me. That's, I like that. Because that's the way I do it. If I fuck up, I fucked up. I'm sorry. You know, I hate the, oh yeah. Somebody fucked up. No, you fucked up. It was you. No, no, there was a miscommunication. No, you, so there was a couple of those, but they worked it out.

One of the managers comes up and asks me, hey, do you know, are you the headliner, which hurt? That hurt. But she was the owner of the, she did the bar. She wasn't really the club, so. And she's like, and you go, yeah, meh, like, it's funny. I've, it's your, the first headliner I've never heard of before. That's not what she said.

That's what she said. I understand what you're saying. This is embarrassing for me too, because I've never done this. I seem to be able to recognize everybody else. I'm sure. Yeah, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes. Yeah. Well, I was like the, like, the runner.

I last was, you know, who had liner is. 100%. But I do have to take the photos and the consideration. Not now, because they were using the right photo. Yeah. But when I used to show up back in the day, they would have a skinny Bobby. Sexy Bob?

They would have, like, whoever did the internet would just get sexy Bobby, like, oh, we want him at the club Yeah, and then they would have it up and I would show up and I was just a tub of shit We want him at the club robber catfish Kelly I remember I was at the Denver comedy works Debra comedy works smoking a cigar of front under my head shot where they use the sexy one and Smokey Gassagaro front under my head shot where they use the sexy one and these three hot smoking girls walked epic Oh, he's beautiful. We should go see him. Oh, man. It's kind of cute. We should definitely go see him as he around tonight

I was like, yeah, he's playing tonight Yeah, I'm gonna see like a penguin on the Ah You wonder why Steve Harvey hits my That Steve Harvey's motivational Speed please I love him. I'll tell you this one probably There you go. This is so cosby dude. I don't do impressions good Oh you guys want to hear what Steve Harvey would sound like if he sounded like Justin silver Hey guys Josh was sound like that we put me to 100 people should I get a Rolex

To the people said yes, pretty people said no Steve. I said hey, what's going? Bobby said this one gonna make me the most money. That's good. Telling your visions to other people cause they're not gonna see it. Why do you think you keep imagining opening a business? Why do you keep imagining graduating, getting a better job? Why do you keep imagining buying a house?

Why do you keep imagining driving a really nice car? Why do you keep imagining buying a house? Why do you keep imagining driving a really nice car? Why do you keep imagining? Because I don't have those things would it be great if this was a this was a question on family feud like this is just the question The background looks like it's the board. It is it is family feud and he talks to you I know the family's like hey man. We're just here for a game He goes you go. I gotta I gotta make making excuses and fucking be who you supposed to be. I'm a bitch. Now let's meet the McLaren's. Mom, what do you do, bitch?

My name's something in your kitchen that you're gonna pass down. Why do you keep imagining that? Because God is talking to you? No, I stopped you did enough with the first listen first of all fucking it is Four days away from his birthday. Who who God Jesus? Jesus Christ. I thought God's Jesus. I thought Jesus God's son. Yeah. Yeah Jesus is God too. No, I thought God's birthday was for the joy Yeah, yeah, Jesus is God too. No, I thought God's birthday was 4th of July. Oh, that's a man.

That's a man. Is that what makes you fireworks at him? We've got to show him. Really God, this is God's look. This is for you. Listen man, when there's one firework, that's when God is our air. It's his ground. Do you have no, you don't believe in God at all?

I believe in God, I don't like the people that are religious that shove it down your throat. I believe in black Jesus. I believe in, I'm a devil worshiper. I believe in, I believe in black love. I don't know, Bob. I believe in black love. He's real. Can I just, can I say that my belief is that I don't know

is that good enough? Yeah. All right. I don't know, but I don't think it's Jesus. I don't think he's the guy. I gotta tell you, I don't know if Buddha is either or whatever, but I'm names to his spheric. Yeah, he he's the guy right I got to tell you I don't know if Buddha is either or whatever but I name to his panic Yeah, it's not a

My god, my name my god, you have a name like Ibrahim yeah It's not a Spanish name the Spanish people just took it and it said differently Are you a Jesus guy? I'm not a Jesus guy, but I'm not a not Jesus. Yeah, like I'm a scary neighborhood down. They tell you Jesus is coming. Fucking right. Run. Don't hang on. Try to meet him. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you when both of you to find Jesus in a car in a tornado. That's when people find Jesus. Sure. Did you see that video? There's these guys where they're in it still. T. I sent it to you guys. It's one of the

It's one of the greatest videos ever. I think we did watch it last week. Yeah, and I don't think we watched it Remember watched it on the air. We didn't watch it on the air But they're in the car. They're like there's a tornado Get in front of it. Oh my god. It's coming west and then all of a sudden they fuck up and they they're like hey man I don't and the the poles come down and they turn around and it's coming west. And then all of a sudden they fuck up. And they're like, hey man, I don't, and the poles come down and they turn around and it's right on its ass. And then all it just cuts to,

Jesus, how may God please forgive me for everything. I mean, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, these guys came believers, and fucking like that. Oh, I forgive me for everything. And then it just cuts to one of them dirty and just crying on his knees. He's like God spared me.

And then it's like yeah and then it's God spared me. God's Hispanic son spared me. God's Hispanic son spared me. I think it's such bullshit. I know that I think that religion and I've said this before the religion is helps you. You know, if you have a religion don't lose lose it. Because when you die, it makes it convenient for people to get rid of your dumb body. You know what I mean?

Sure. I think that is like Jews do a certain thing, Catholics do a certain thing. It's just convenient, you know. You don't believe anything. It's like when I die, I wanna be a Viking. You know, bahawa. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah, no, I don't wanna be. Do a tells joke about a so long, such old joke because I believe they're I believe in God I just think that God can't be everywhere all the time He's like while he's making a butterfly land on a retarded kids head to bring him meaning in life Because me while he's letting you get this fuck to the summer camp I can't He's like you can't be everywhere all the time that's my God Live on this a butterfly little retarded I mean, he's like, you can't be everywhere all the time. That's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God.

I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God.

I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God.

I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I think that's my God. I. He's not personal, but just a pure fucking comedic mind. Dude, he's the best. And he doesn't shut off. He never is not. That's the part that sucks. I would love to have a cup of coffee with him. Yeah, he goes, Dave, I just want to catch up with you. Did you? I'm an idiot for winning a talk to you. Like, who do you want to talk? You want to cry? We go to something shit. He wants to kill Uncle Dave. Dave, how's your mom?

How's your mom, Dave? Dad. Dying soon, I hope. I still love the hipster 9-11. That was my favorite thing. He wrote a city bike to the seller and he put an ice coffee on the table outside and then he tried to like stop the bike

with like this, you know, and it fell into the table. He was on a city bike. He was, he felt on, the bike fell onto the table outside and then he tried to like stop the bike with like this you know and it fell into the table on a city by he was it fell on to the bike fell on to the table the coffee spilled onto the city bike and while it's spilling he goes oh no a hipster 9-11 it was just the quickest fucking thing every guy is no my favorite David tell joke he was at the black night at Boston on Sunday. And he went on stage after fucking everybody murdered. And they brought him up in his fucking locksmith uniform. And with like a newspaper and a black bag full of some candy or cigarettes.

One kettlebell and a bunch of things. It just doesn't make sense. He always looks like he just came from a CVS. Yeah. The oftentimes has. He goes on stage and goes, My grandfather does things people don't do anymore. He can show a horse. People don't show horses anymore.

He can milk a cow. People don't milk cows anymore. He can kick a pregnant hooker and a belly down a fly to stairs and blame it on the cullens. He can't use on the cuddling It was a second of what and then Nothing is better. I think that people I don't like here's what I don't like I don't care what you believe if you don't believe anything

I just don't like people coming down on religious people Sure, I don't like people go fucking fuck religion It's like that's a dumb thing to say because religion for most people is whatever it is is trying to find a balance or Some type of hope in life to do good. Yeah, right? Yeah, so people who do that I'm with. People who fucking hate religion and fuck that is like, okay, that's crazy. But generally though somebody who's been like

fucked by religion though, a little bit tends to be because I'm not religious at all. I genuinely have no, as long as they're not like doing something problematic, I couldn't give a shit about it. Yeah, your morals, your morals, the way you treat people and the way you act and your inner thing is What religion is based on it's kind of good. Yeah, I don't want to hurt people Yeah, you're black and white. I had a guy you say me what you know

He would say what would God do? I would go to me But what would God do because there's no gray area with that shit and you have very similar to that you when there's a Decision to be made you'd usually do the right thing. Try, yeah. Yeah, you have the right thing. That's, I was telling Dawn that. You're one of the kindest dudes in the business that I know. I've never seen you do something malicious. That's WWJD, what would J, what would J do? That's what I, yeah.

Be nice. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you, Bobby, you know what? You, Christine's rolling her fucking eyes over her head right now. Wow. Bobby, Christine is actually doing her witchcraft right now. Oh, you mean Christine, the least kind person in the world? I'm super proud.

She got me a green tea today. You know what I think about that, Bobby? I think the way you get it, too, means a lot. Like if a hypocrite, if a hypocrite adult gives you religion, you're automatically going to be like, eh, fuck this, because fuck him or fuck her. You know what I mean? if a hypocrite adult gives you religion, you're automatically gonna be like, eh fuck this, cause fuck him, or fuck her. You know what I mean?

And I also think that a lot of it is like, think about this OCD bullshit of like Catholicism. Like the rosary is just like 10 Hail Mary's, 10, this weird like ritualistic thing, and I'm like, I'm gonna do this instead of gamble. I'm gonna do this instead of drink. I'm gonna do this instead of fuck or whatever. But here's the thing, that used to not make sense to me when people do prayers, which I'm gonna do this instead of gamble. I'm gonna do this instead of drink. I'm gonna do this instead of fuck or whatever. Here's the thing, that used to not make sense to me

when people do prayers, which I'm fine with, because I used to be like fucking rosary the prayer, and then all of a sudden I broke it down, like what it is, and if you break down a prayer, it's just a way for people to talk, say positive things and think positively in almost like a song or prayer type of way. Sure. Because people don't do that.

In our brains, we tumble out of control and go negative. But it's... So it's a way to say, okay, stop. Like if you say this rendity prayer, right? That's a way before I'm going to get fucking angry and flip out, let something go. Sure. Grimmest rendity except things I can't change. People places and things.

I'm going to say a prayer where I rat my fists. So run. I bite through my lap. I'm done these ten rosary. I'll tell you what though. The serenity prayer is an I've never been in recovery, but that's an amazing prayer because that's a way to live. Like I don't things I let go with things I can't control. But think about if some person's going believe in this, do this because I said so and you go, why? And they go, fucking, don't ask questions. It's Jesus. If you ask questions, you don't.

That's right. I never liked the blind faith. Blind faith should, I hate it. But it, but it almost to your point. So I say the examples I have like, Kurt, like, Kurt would have brought up in essentially a cult. I mean, Jehovah's Witness. Sure.

So like, he's got some pretty bad ideas about like, religion, you know, I know I understand that. I might, I forget what your dad's voice was, but you said one day he just came home and he goes, not that anymore guys, religion now. Yeah, he literally was like, boo. He's like gambling and then one day he's like, we're going to church and it was like as like, uh, fun or pleasant, yeah. Lost books of the revelation and all these like, Virgin Mary says when the world's gonna end but never tell us. My father, my biological father gave me advice one time when a girl was on the phone, she wanted me to pee on her and he took the door and I went, hey dad this girl wants to

pee on her, what would you do? He goes, well I wouldn't drink a gallon of water and muster up a piss. But if I had to, I'd piss on her, go ahead. Nice. That was good advice. That's not bad advice. Not at all. You remember the things you remember. My dad told me, my dad told me you know, in a street fight at first. That was slutty. It'd be nice if you drank the water because it'd be fresher piss. I'd be until it's clear. I don't, I really don't want to fucking latte piss on me. Yeah. Christine doesn't like a bite of any piss. many piss. Oh, yeah. I think I've done enough.

I can't see, is it super, is it really bright yellow? Oh. You have diabetes, it's sweet. What's higher? You're not a pile of juice? It tastes like a licorice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's what we should have got it to do. We'll say it. What does P taste like? Mm-hmm. That's why I think I think also to do. We'll say, okay, what does P taste like? Mm-hmm. That's why I think I think also how it's brought in your life.

I'm not anti-religion or angry at it at all because I grew up in a house that was like, I guess technically Jewish, but no real religion, meeting go to temple, or anything like that, there was no real pushing of it. When I was like, I don't care about getting bar mit's foot, they were like, okay, don't go to a synagogue for that. And they, like it was never,

so I also'm not angry at it when people were, so it was never brought to me in a bad way. But I didn't like when I was a teenager, my friend was super religious. My friend Mark and we went to Ohio to see my dad at one point. And a girl across the street who we were just hanging out with, I don't know how we got talking about, oh, it's my buddy Mark, for him to come with me

for the couple weeks, had the promises parents that he would go to church. And he didn't really give a shit. I think he ended up going in there, like pretty devout, but like we were kids still. And he didn't, but he went and the girl was like, oh yeah, I get that and I was like, you're really just, and then we just tell me,

I go, ah, well I believe, when I said that, I was like, I like I believe it just be a good person, you know, I don't want to hurt anybody I don't need I don't need children our future. I don't need religion teach them well and let them lead the way Let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense a sense of pride to make it easier give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Can I tell you? Wait, wait, wait, but they said the thing, I was like, I'll live a good life.

And you know, if there's a heaven, if we look out and there's a heaven, like I should go to heaven, right? And they were so, just teenagers. Stonchly, they were like, no, no, not at all. It's not for you. It's a shame, like if you don't go worship at church and blah, blah, but now I know that's not the

all believing people that believe that stuff, but for two teenagers to think that if you just don't go to church like, no, you will go to, if you live your life, if you save lives, if you don't go also, I save lives and blindly, I follow you God. You're gonna go to hell, I go, that's a weird thing to teach because you're gonna be.

I appreciate you. I didn't like that. That's what I don't understand. You're gonna go to hell. I go, that's a weird thing to teach. I appreciate you. I didn't like that. That's what I don't understand. I never liked that either. I think religion, like stuff like that is a little out for me. Find for you, but I believe in manifestation. I believe in the shit you say happens. I believe the word you use and on the witch.

I'm with you, man. I'm with you. I don't hear such a warlock about it. Are you saying you believe in carry? The carry powers. I don't you man. I'm with you. I don't have you. I don't have you're such a warlock. Are you singing believe in Carrie? The Carrie powers. I don't kill animals. Here comes old catfish Bobby coming down with the what's a alligator head? I know I believe in that the things you say. Fish pops bringing them as voodoo stuff. If you're always negative. No 100% I think that comes to you. If you always if you like look man positive and you think positive and you clear that out. I think your your shit comes to you. Of course. If you always, if you like, look man, positive, and you think positive, and you clear that out,

I think your shit comes to you. I think that that has to do with the way the world is, the earth is, the way humans are. Yes. Like when you talk and you hear it, who the fuck is that? It wasn't said, how do you hear it? You know what I mean?

It's like there's something else there, I think. I just don't know't know what the fuck it is right and I do know that it's Jesus's birthday in a few days Happy birthday Jesus happy in your heart if you don't want to go to hell happy birthday Jesus. You know I got him a hooker You know what I ended up you know how he got one All right, he did Mary Magdalene. I had like I had like rock and roll in common with my old man That was like the only thing that we had to talk about was like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, like all the albums. I would memorize who lyrics so we could talk. Then he got into religion and he sat me down

and made me watch a VHS tape about backwards satanic messages and all the music that he gave me. And then he had to take the records away. And I'm like, I'm going with the records, bro. Like that's my fucking shit. Yeah, I think that people take things in a certain time to, but they're reaching out for something.

So what they're looking for is positive. And when they do it, it isn't. So you do whatever the fuck you want. But what I, I don't, I just don't like people like when they hear God, they get like, boom, what I thought, I think there's God,

but I just, yeah, like that religion is bullshit. I mean, there's God, but I just yeah like I've religion is bullshit I mean there's so many versions of God that people have They like James saying I always thought what if there's a guy who lives on the other side of the world and he never Heard the word Jesus, but he grew crops fed people and then dies he gets up there and they go hey man good shit Sorry pieces shit. Yeah, why didn't you blind we believe in God you fucking asshole what is that I just talking to Jesus this joke was really funny what is it what is it Michael J Michael J Michael J I said no okay

good days and I want to end on a positive uplifting note especially with all the turmoil in the Middle East right now so I want to say from the bottom of my heart, whether you're Jewish or Muslim, y'all need Jesus. That was so fun. We watched a little bit of that on Skanks, but, uh, yeah, Che brought out, uh, haddy-be-Davis. He brought it, he marched with Martin Luther King. And he just had her sit next to Colin jokes

Well, he read like you know, they do the thing where they write the jokes for each other Yeah, yeah, so like Colin writes and they just basically write racist terrible jokes about each other right and Then they have to read them whatever it says in the screen dude haddie Davis he said to her and his wife is The black widow He goes definitely still a better black widow. Oh, Grant Scott King is a better black widow. Yeah. She said his wife was a better widow than Grant Scott King.

Yeah. That's amazing. And she went to, he went to Pounder and she was like, no, I'm I'm not. No, that was the one the pounding is the funniest because he goes the something the like Oh, it's at it right look. Yeah, right. It's what's yeah, it goes with whatever act of Whatever is saying that like people can read

Or you could bring up like sexual assault well beyond the statue limitations Yeah, and he was like and that that sucks because bitches be bringing up old shit. And then he has to look and then sit on the paper and I said, look at her and go, am I right with a fist bump? She's like, what? But if you look at the end of the segment, he tries to check her hand again and she does another like, I'm right. Wow.

No way. I saw Che last night. I was like, listen, bro, that was the fact that you sat that lady is She's sitting in a wheelchair Jay has good when hit when he made him read the black Superman one and he goes the man of steel but spelled Do you have a I go please tell me you have that poster in your house? Fuck I should wow Amazing, I'll get something with a they had one of them, I think, is a week before with Joe's.

I was like, they're gonna blur out the faces now of the insurrectionists, so people can only who they are. He goes, which is great news to find out. And it's just clearly a Colin Joe's, like giving a thumbs up. The insurrection, like, blur it out, just obviously. Yeah, that's funny. Give me a little, but take us out with some Steve Harvey. No Bobby's got to go. I got to go listen I want to say thank you guys happy

New Year Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Whenever happy jesus's birthday. Enjoy the show tomorrow the Enjoy the show. We're so proud of it. It was one of our best credible man Fenoya I love you Bobby. Christine I love you. DJ Lou. It's not that hard to name. John Lassner. I love you.

John Lassner. I love you too. Even though you're ratting me out real quick today. That's fucking hurt. Damn, Jacob. That's what happens in Flow Rider, bro. Black Lowe. I love you, man.

No level ratting. And we love you Bobby Kelly. And I love you fans. And here riding. I'm good to see. And we love you Bobby Kelly. And I love you fans. And here's to a great 2024 with you. And we made it through the parachute. Nobody pulled the parachute. That's right. They could have fired Bobby at any time for the past nine months.

We were made aware of that again. Nine months is the parachute. Nine months. Nine months was past. Was past it now. You were born. You were born again. It's a contract now.

It's a contract. It's a contract. There's no parachute. I love it. It's a it's a it's a contract now now to contract. It's a contract. There's no parachute I love it. It's a Christmas miracle because Jesus is alive I'm the walls of the walls of lack and delay now crumble away I now fulfill my destiny by divine right in a perfect way. I love big J. Yeah Jesus wow Jesus right now in the yard Jesus getting a tattoo of an angry clown on his back in a yard somewhere. And the word Joker, hey fucking Joker. I gotta go, Max has a recital, I gotta make it.

Oh yeah, you don't wanna miss a boy Dubella. He's playing the saxophone in Titsamus. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo