The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Old Mistakes (W/ Joe DeRosa & Jezebel Sweet)

Episode Date: August 26, 2019

Ex-Corey’s Angel Jezebel Sweet tells what it was like living and touring with the Goonies star.  Joe DeRosa’s former life as a Texas State Senate reporter is revealed on cassette tape. Jay recounts the time Dave Attell and David Spade were in the audience for a performance of Ha! The Musical. Dan Soder talks about his former high school crushes that wouldn’t sleep with him.

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon, and I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. Hi, Cambers, it's Jacob.

Welcome to the Bond Fire Best of the Week. It was the final week with Big J hosting in LA, with guest co-host Joe Derosa. And on Monday's show, it was a Bond Fire interview for the ages, as musician and former Corey Feldman Angel Jezebel Sweep gave everyone an eye-opening look at what it was like living and working with the former Gooney Star. Very exciting get for us. We are, this show really is all things, Feldog, and what better. I'm so happy you were able to come in today to observe the rest of this video that I don't

know how well you follow Corey Feldman since your departure of the crew, but If you seen the birthday acoustic performance that he laid out, I only heard the clips you played of it on the show. Oh, I mean it was It starts acoustic is a stretch. I mean, it's only two ukulele jams and then they He decides to hop on that electric He goes full electric like like dealing at woodstock. So you did play at the birthday show in New York, the High Line Ballroom? No, you guys are right, yeah.

Yeah, the problem though is with him in the, it doesn't matter what they're doing back there, it's, he's terrible. It's horrible stories. We've heard this. But it's horrible, it's horrible. It's like, it's really, if you got like a five star, if you got a Michelin chef at McDonald's,

you made a Michelin meal, and then they were like, we're still putting our cheese and ketchup's hard. It's like, if you got a five star, if you got a Michelin chef at McDonald's, you made a Michelin meal, and then they were like, we're still putting our cheese and ketchup on it, and you're like, God, you fucking asshole. All right, it's gonna suck. There's almost like eye-roly frustration. I mean, if you're like,

if you guys just feel like you're in the pocket, and like the band, did you get along with the band? Yeah, very well. Like, oh, really? Good musicians, respectively. And so like, when everything's going, you're like like all really good musicians respectively, and so like when everything's going you're like this is actually a pretty catchy to this Brick in the law, Brick in whatever comes in. This is like this is I mean you're you're saying you're saying it like as if

You as if she was you were handing it off to Somebody that was capable of carrying it. This is like you're in a juggling team and the one guy has no hands. Come on, throw it off to me for the finale. And you're like, you're like, just please can we wait till you figure out that big no hands? And he's like, no, I have to learn how to do it. And you throw it to him. And it ruins it every time.

And you're just like, I don't wanna yell at you dude for not having hands. But you don't have hands. How did he react, was there any reaction to criticism ever like there was like, man, maybe we should or was it just meltdowns or like, was there any internal bands like criticism? Oh, I mean, we gave him a lot of shit.

Really? Oh, really? And he just took it, he was fine with it. I feel like he would like, wig out and get furious. Yeah, I mean, he wanted this show to be what it was. Like, we would ask him to not play the guitar because he doesn't. Because he doesn't doesn't all see doesn't play the guitar but wait what was when you would yell at him what would he was equal about it he doesn't seem like a dick I mean I might be wrong okay sorry is he a dick in the traditional dick sense or is he a dick in the LA sense

where it's like dude you're just so fucking clueless and you can't admit when you're wrong And you're gonna just keep kind of going on this own wavelength of yours. Yeah, probably that one. Okay, okay I'd like to know that he's doing a celebrity Marriage boot camp with his brother and like where was his brother in any of the thousand times? He's told his life story that I've never heard about a sibling at all Let a brother. He's got to have he's like in a fight with it so bizarre You're out of the movie. He's making a face like the brother doesn't exist Yeah, it's the brother possibly a fake brother

All right, so this is what I want to know there's because there's got to be something And I swear I'm not trying to pile down the guy This music is absurd. I just can't get away. Just most not a fan. No, I swear I'm not trying to pile down the guy. This music is absurd. I just can't get it right. Don't worry, Jisbo's not a fan. No, I know, I know. But I mean, I'm also not trying to beat on the guy. It's just like, was there any cool parts? Because we were talking to the day about how awesome he was in movies when he was a kid

like in the burbs and in the goonies. He was the one you wanted to be. And we were like, there's got to be some thread of that left in him. There's got to be those moments where he's old school Corey Feldman, there's gotta be some thread of that left in him. Like there's gotta be those moments where he's like old school Corey Feldman. He's like kind of funny or charming. Is there any of that? Yeah, sure. We had fun sometimes.

Okay. But I mean, like someone what way? What's a fun Corey Feldman thing to do? Does he drink? You go out and do shots and shit. He doesn't drink. All right. That's right.

He had to get like famously sober when he was 11. He's not so bad. Okay. He's a trick. It's just mescaline. He's not so dry. So would you put, would you put the, where the party's fun at the angels?

What's up? Call the, the fell to Rama. Well, we did talk about felled mansion. Yeah. Uh, we did actually discuss this when you called last time and he said it was definitely like as you would assume The whole thing definitely has like a swingery fuck or G vibe to it like he's always trying to kind of organize Which seems like the whole concept you have to walk around and a

Thong and angel with a lot of the day is like bananas. He was trying to be the next half-ner. Yeah, like But this is now this is what I don't get and look just because you like the why didn't have to start a band Good news he did and I just haven't had the tape right here. No the the thing I don't get is and listen I'm not saying you're a pervert if you like to fuck Lord knows You know, I've had my chair one night stands. We all have I'm not a commitment type guy I'm not throwing shade at anybody that likes bonin'. But what I do think is odd is that he was so pro stance on, you know, treating women properly and,

and you know, hold on, let me, let me, let me just finish this up. That's a pretty laugh. But he was so outspoken about this stuff, and then it seemed odd to me to have this thing where you referred to women as your angels To have women walking around half naked at your parties and then put it under the guise of you're basically going to an academy That there is some sort of like graduation promise of your career being something else because which sounds right

Along the lines of me too It sounds right right I'll get you a job. Yeah, you have a degree from Fel Diversary Up in your dance. That's written in pen. Welcome to the Fel Diversity. What did you have to do to get this job? Do you have to fuck them?

No, I just said this almost music. Oh, Jesus, I don't know what's worth. I'd rather just suck them off. I didn't do either of those things. Thank God. I'm just kidding. So what was he ever told him his original music was good, just to get out of the conversation? No, actually, he found out one day that I had never

actually listened to the album. He's like, you're in the band. And you're just like, I just learned the parts. Yeah, I listen to the ones that we played. Just about, is he have a level of self-deprecation? Where he's like, I'm saying where he's just kind of like, he's like, yeah, look, I don't have a great voice, but it's like I like the songs I or more than I like to do this even though it's I know I'm not very good at it

But I love it. We have the opportunity or is he like like sing hey? Thanks we were gonna be like the next Beatles Holy shit, so he just believes it like he's in his own Do any believes he's helping the girls that come to him for the program ring Oh, he believes he can say hey ringo George put on some thongs and some anyways We're going to Shay Stady am I Consum people around him to tell him he's awesome so they can hang out the nice house I mean, he's got to have some peers. Who's not saying like got a nice

Jason her baby a fan where it's like there's people were being attached to that. It's like they look at it It's kind of they kind of did it at once upon a time in Hollywood with the cliff booth character of just like being like I'd rather live in this guy's life than my own boring life, but that's but that See, this is where I disagree that that guy the Caprio's character in that movie was truly insanely talented. Yeah, it was, it was really talented. It was, that was a hats off to the, to the TV actors that, that got written off that, that were great. Um, and he was a mess and all that shit.

But my point is, is like, who's hanging around, like, is he still hanging around with data from the goonies? Like, who's, who's still hanging around going, hey dude, you're great. Like I feel like any of his true peers would be like, bro, wake, wake, wake the fuck up. What are you doing? Cause that's what he used to do to aim on the show, you know? Here's the thing is anyone who says anything negative

about him, they're like the dark side and they get cut out. Oh, okay. So he takes no criticism from anybody that loves him. Like people who are my friends that would reach out to me and like say anything that would be like, you have to block them. I'm not gonna block someone I've been friends with for years because they said something negative about it. Oh, surprise, surprise.

Cory wanted to isolate the girls. Shocking. Shocking tactic. What was your way in? Like how did you start, like did you go to the parties? Like what was your involvement? The angels have to jump you in an alley. And if you survive, they jump you like the roll in 88s.

I had a friend that told me about the addition in it. I just so happened to be going to LA the next day. For a few days I was going out to visit someone else. Right. So it just I didn't even know who Cory Feldman was. Really no history. No, I went in. I looked him up and was really no history. No, I might mean I looked him up and then I was like, okay, I've seen like Sam by me. And that's why and that's

exactly what you just said. And I'm not cutting you off because I want to hear this. But what you just said is exactly what I was referring to. It's like people like you who are coming up now or so young, they don't even know who the fuck this guy is. Like how does he still maintain? Yes, right. Like we went to an EDM show together once and we walked in the door and everyone thought he was Skrillex. That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very very, very, very, very, very Canada, so they got married really so she could stay in the country, right?

So for a work thing, and then I think he just locked her in. Well, she's like no talent, right? Like she's not a musician, she's not a singer. From what I've seen. She did her best to learn. But like, he didn't find her as like an audition or talent. It's just kind of his chicken. He's like, let's put you in a,

they met through Playboy. OK. Yeah, because she just really seems very lost and not talented like she seems like she has no musical talent Shouldn't be in that situation. I could put a lot of effort. I'm not musically I'm just saying please please play for Jezebel the her singing Stand by me god damn that was funny. It's it's really like I thought this drumming was bad on it. It's so public because it feels like two people really going through like a personal

mental breakdown and we're like, you know, it must be weird to be on the inside of that household. Well, and she didn't really want to do a lot of that stuff either. Like there was the song that she sang on tour the goonies. I remember she was really frustrated with it because it's a really difficult song to sing. And she knew she was having a hard time with it and he was like no you have to do it. Oh she was doing that.

Cindy Lauper for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, it was Jesus. That's a toughy. That's not when you just kind of want her. She's hot for sure, but she has to smile at a lot of things she does not enjoy I bet. If he's alone, I bet he's really sad. Yeah.

If you think I'm saying I bet if he's a I bet immediately I bet. He's sober and alone. I bet he's really sad. Yeah. If you think. I'm saying I bet if he's a, I bet immediately. He's sober and alone. I bet he is sadness. I bet if he's alone, immediately. Cause I feel like he's one of those never-in-a-bye aside, right? His wife will build it on every flight, everything. They're pretty much with them all the time. Yeah, so like he can't be alone.

I get, I just, some degree I understand that. I understand that. I'm alone on the road and all I get but it's you know, I'm not gonna I don't know Christine can I convince you to dress up like an angel with a bunch of girls in the house? Can we make that happen? Not until we get more rooms. She's do we need more rooms now? On Tuesday show Joe Deroza entertained everyone including guest bird Kreischer by playing a cassette tape without takes from his former life enjoy Joe Deroza here. Our hilarious friend used to work for the Senate in Austin, Texas,

yeah, in Austin, Texas. He worked on the radio. I was a radio reporter. Yeah. Oh, you explained the situation. I was a radio reporter for this Texas Senate media office. So that meant like I had to go to legislative, I had a floor pass to go to the floor of the Senate chamber every day, cover what was going on in the legislation process.

And then at the end of the day, every day, I'd have to write and record a radio recap of what happened in the Senate that day, like a five-minute thing. And I'd have to upload it, because it's 2000, I think. I'd upload it through a phone modem to like the server that local radio stations

then would download it from. So the last thing I had to do every day was this, as I'm desperately trying to get the fuck out of work because I hated the job. And it was such a long day. And I didn't know what I was doing. And it was just, it was just a bad fit. And so I would try to rush through my thing and it was harder if I had to stop

and edit it than it was if, so I just get it to take. Yeah. So if, so I would try to get it all done in one take. So if I messed up, I would get furious because I'd start over again. So I started isolating my outbursts like every day as I would go along. So I was like, I wasn't even a comic yet. Something was just like, one day this will be funny. I should just do this. Please let this be what I think it is.

So I have the tape. Oh, fuck yeah. So it's an audio tape of Joe. I'm marijuana too. I'm Joe. It's an audio tape. I have to get high there a lot. I watch it.

We present Joe DeRosa, the Senate Media Outtakes. And one thing I want to get high there. I want to we present Joe DeRosa the Cinemedia. I'll take one thing I forgot to say I recorded these in a very small very hot Soundproof booth So the heat didn't help but it was also soundproof so I knew I could freak out my co-workers wouldn't hear you're clearly agitated Yeah clear here we go go That certain sex offenders stay at least 1,000 feet from places where it's shown... FUCK OFF! Care facilities in Texas currently face an inevitable demise. Monkrieve stressed that without a...

TOOK! To send it members to pass the bill. Also passed today was HB1640 sponsored by corpus christie senator carlos and You fucking Dallup Bosmer second That was for that phone we go you fucking That would set me off with that phone would ring me because that's my

Your control I just I could because they might sometimes they would call to say like Yeah Play that one again, please Yeah Play that one again, please By corpus Christi sent a recarlors You fucking Your voice is so boyish so high everyone's so young

You're I started noticing that all comics have like give her her Rogan's voice when like 20 years ago Yeah, yeah guys. Yeah It's and then now he's like baritone I mean, oh Howard Stern could you know to get the two channels? They play his old stuff on one of the channels And you really hear the difference like is like crazy the bass in his voice, but like that's so funny I didn't I didn't overthink that because this is so many years ago when we lived together Yeah, it probably didn't sound that crazy different to me Yeah, here in your 20s, 21 here.

All right, here we go. Enjoy. Yeah. Dallas County and the Rio Grande Valley both contain districts whose boundaries are on. Oh my God. Based on the theory that the new tax will assist the state in providing improved long-term care to patients, thus reducing rate.

Fuck. Finally, the Senate committees have adjourned permanently for this session. will assist the state in providing improved long-term care to patients, thus reducing rate. Fuck! Finally, the Senate committees have adjourned permanently for this session. Midnight Friday, May 11th, Mark. Fuck! I can continue to disagree voicing the opinion that the border does not have a monopoly on pro- You fucking cunt! I can continue to disagree voicing the opinion that the border does not have a monopoly

on prop. Fuckin' cunt! I can't hear me punchin' the candle. Uh, we were voicing console. Yeah, that sounded like that spring being like, like, don't know. I'm pleased back then up, I want to hear that. I can continue to disagree voicing the opinion that the border does not have a monopoly on prop

uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... gay al pass or senator elia shapley continued his efforts to strengthen conditions along the texas mexico texas mexico god dammit

and rcc's responsibilities to protect texas citizens and natural resources it should concern itself with the promotion of economic development god dammit god fucking dammit god dammit god fucking dammit god fucking dammit Damn it. God damn it. God fucking damn it. God fucking damn it. God fucking damn it. God damn it. God fucking damn it. It's so fast because you know the thunder is just coming. God damn it.

And the best but by the way, I know we've had to do like live reads before like you know we pre-record them. And I just know that is especially when you get deep. Yeah. When you're deep into it. I do know. It's like it's like watching someone run downhill, and they start leaning over. And you're like, oh, they're falling.

You're gonna get ahead, you're gonna get ahead. But the last thing of your day, trying to get out of there is, and you're young, you're talking about things you don't give a fuck about clearly. Talking about things I don't even understand. You have to do the coverage of it, and then write the story up here. You don't know. I think you're reading Spanish. I'm Joe Deroza.

I'm Joe Deroza. I'm Joe Deroza. These are the words I heard today. By cell, fire, higher. I don't even understand. Build, tear down. I don't understand the sentences you were saying. I don't understand anything.

They don't want to have a monopoly, which apparently is not just a game, but a thing that could happen You were saying it was such confidence. Yeah, and you don't even know what you're saying It was literally dude like doing a bit where you had to do a news reporter. Please continue Immediately following session was a press conference held by the Democratic coffees Fucking mothers are who by the Democratic office, fuck, you're fucking mothers are whore. What?

What? What? What? What? What? What you just said, I'm trying to remember because that was your mother's a fucking cunt or there's a whore.

To know, there's no mother involved. There's no person's mother involved. If anybody, you're, you're talking about your own mother because you're, like, you're manning yourself for flubbing the last whore. Did anybody so funny? That's something I could've combed over it's combed over these days like well your mother's a whore That's a rough thing. Who? Who's the rough? A console I'm yelling at. I would love to be your fucking mother's a whore. I've put a personification on my PlayStation before to call it a fucking dickhead

Yeah, I spent money on you and you ruined my life. Yeah fucking dickface. I've said fuck you God on you and you ruin my life you fucking dick face I've said fuck you god you're a cock sucker like I've a hundred percent ever back it took two steps away from you when you said it god's a cock sucker bring it please please more Duncan finally claimed that the bill offered the best choice possible after further debate over the legend. Fuck! God damn, man! He's just Christ! God damn, man! Houston-centered or Mario Gaegos disclosed his worries about a fair time allowance for workers

to seek a doctor. Immediately following it, you fucking cunt! doctor immediately following you're fucking clunked Houston Senator Mario Geigos disclosed to immediately following session was a press conference held by the Senate Democratic Caucus about redistricting. Monday, I'll pass Senator Elliott Shappley had his SB 1837 past which relates to the Texas strategic gun that fucking clunked. can't goddamn Houston Senator Rodney Ellis brought the issue of the death penalty and it's applying to mentally

retarded citizen to set for two days. You fucking motherfucker. We got peshy. You fucking motherfucker. Oh weird is it a hearing mentally retarded people now that's what you're is this 2001 that's crazy that you that's what that was literally what you called them. Yeah, and now people Yeah, no that was that was the term. Yeah, that was a term, you know I guess technically this could get me fired from something one day. Didn't I get asked to one point like what do you call retarded people If you can't say retarded, they're not retarded.

I thought medically they were retarded. By the way, by the way, this my audio book, I have a hard time reading out loud, and I did what Joe's doing the whole audio book and the guy left it in. He left them all in, and so through my whole audio book, it's me just going, motherfucker, fuck, I can't do this. I gotta take my pants off.

At the end, I swear I gotta take my pants off It's the whole audiobook it is so funny and you it's not I don't really I never really read it It's just me reading paragraphs until I fall apart that's amazing and I'm laughing hysterically I'm like I can't believe you fucking bosses is that it shows it last no There's an word in here. Oh, no, there's not there's definitely no last one? I don't know. Right, if you're more we have two. We have two. There's an award in here. No, there's not. There's definitely not. Oh, you took it out. No, I know.

Oh, you presented to an editor first. Good. Yeah. This concludes Senate media outtakes. All right, that's the air. That's hilarious. I thought everybody goes, he goes, no, nothing like that.

He goes, you cock-sucking-crow-t-fuck. There's something known in your man. Goddamn, Gypsy. Fucking Gypsy-bitch-cock. It-fuck, just something no-one can get mad at. Goddamn Gypsy! Fuckin' Gypsy bitch cock. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. Funny. It's so great. It's Jacob again, and on Wednesday's show, the great David Tell was our guest, and Big

J recalled the time when he performed in HAH, the musical, with Dave and David Spade in the audience. Later, Dave related the story of Jimmy Hendrix's performance at Woodstock to what it's like for comedians who have to perform after the headliner has gone on. We were talking before you came in about a how the musical that I did that you came to with David Spade. Yeah, it's for the matinee show.

And that was such a fun. David Spade came with Dave. Well, he was there. That's his support to support Kevin Far Dave. Well, he was there. That's his support. To support Kevin Farley. Oh, shit. Yeah. And Dave, and so they sat and watched and Kevin Farley was panicky.

He was first because he was and and because of David Spade and and you Dave, being that he just felt this. I don't know what like his world. I guess like in his world like You guys would probably view him as like, you know one way because you see him in the world and now he's doing like He's very vulnerable thing that he was doing and he was very nervous and also he didn't learn his lines very well Yeah, he every show he did make it out like he's like this big My favorite you go

You know comedy is he have like notes. He got that script. Yeah, but at the time kill he goes, you know comedy's been around since the beginning of time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It started in the 19, whatever. When this guy came to about, oh yeah.

Oh yeah. And so he had that look. When this guy came to about And so he had that look he was extra nervous while I was at this time he was extra nervous and The everything sort of it was a matinee show and no one came the shows at night were actually pretty full Small theater triad, but the matinee was pretty light and so Michelle's freaking out that it's light and in her things He's like, oh my god, David tell and David Spader We look I think the Bennington crew came on that one Like we're basically doing a matinee for like just the people we know Which made it more halloween because by the way also in fairness to Michelle and everybody the comics that knew that you guys were there We're like like oh, well, I'm not giving 110% of that. I'm gonna be doing this with a very like tongue of cheek. Like, isn't this dumb? We're not gonna sell it because it's not

the theater people now. It's our friends. Yeah. I would be. Yeah. Of course. That's a tough show. The show's that originally reserved everybody front row seats. We were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, Jeff Ross maybe became that show, but whatever it was When the things I remember hearing that were the funniest that caused any kind of a wave was a The show was going no no real clapping or engagement with the crowd and then Casey Bolsham comes out They go and now the girl comic is coming to the stage and Casey Bolsham comes out and just this dead silence to remember here David Spade go all right

He's going through it's about he's getting to the Lenny Bruce story of being in comedy. He goes, then comedy became all like, you know, fart jokes and whatever and PC and book goes and not in the way of the thing. And then he's going through it's about the thing that he's going through it's about getting to the Lenny Bruce story of being in comedy. He goes, then comedy became all like, you know, fart jokes and whatever, and PC and bookers. And not until, what was it, a drug,

a heroin addicted Jew from Brooklyn came up and had the, and because a heroin addicted Jew from Brooklyn, you just hear Dave, Dave the background go, easy. He was just, a kill. you just hear Dave, Dave's the background go easy. It was just hilarious.

Kills. Kills is on stage. It kills in the audience. It's like, and when he gets the show, after the show, he's like, I go, what's wrong dude? He was flustered. I go, what's wrong?

He goes, guys, I told Michelle, we don't need the drug addicted Jew. It's like, why am I saying Jew so hard and then now David Tells upset and thinks I go I promise you dude. He's not Yeah, he really was like, but what do you say he was like he said easy? I go you don't see what's funny about that But he had that look of like he's totally sweaty like You're like okay, I'll just take one aspirin, but you break the whole thing

and it's all over the same. Oh no, look at all these aspirin. Like he just reminded me, because I gotta keep it together. I gotta. Yeah, he looked like a substitute principal. He was just totally out there. I say what makes me laugh about Kevin,

you know, with Michelle. Right. And they're like, and so when I see them, when we see them out together, we go to places that are out of my world because it's just like far, maybe you know, she's like, meet me at the Norwood Club for dinner.

Kevin Farley? Well, no, it's her and Kevin Farley. And she like, meet me at the Norwood Club, which is such something it's so Adam, I like, it's so ho houses and stuff. It's just like, I'm like, why are we here? But it's fun to go. So we go and just Kevin Farley with the core of it

I mean is a big fucking Burley Hayseed was constant fucking good old boy. Yeah drinking and being With Michelle and watching these twirly birds come around constantly so all she's friends with just all like gay cod piece wearing right come around, come sing. So all she's friends with just all like gay, cod, peace, wearing. Right. Look, look, look, look. Man, she meant. I think just then come around, come sing.

They're going, them come around and be like, Kevin, oh my god, I haven't seen you. So are you losing weight and like sitting on his lap? And shit. And I just look like, look at Kevin, when I'm with him, I'm like, I'm sorry, dude. She must be awesome at something because this is your father'd be pretty upset Your Wisconsin dad will be like sitting on your lap. I Don't think I ever told you this But Dave similar to the story the easy story

Patrice is future I Was Dave I was sitting in front of the pew in front of Dave at the church. You were directly behind me. When the preacher guy was reading the Bible passages, as he was reading Dave just kick out. Mmm. Mmm. That was a poor small man, first of all.

I don't know if anybody can even hear you, dude. You know what I mean? You have to, you know, what can even hear you, dude. I mean, you have to, you know, what happened to Dave the other week. It came up, like, you know, we did a radio show afterwards, like, you know, how do you go about and still could be entertaining? It's somewhat funny, but like, you know, tell this sad, awful story that we're all fucked up by and it kept always going back to everyone saying the Patrice, you won ONA, when you were the other guy, like, where was your financial support?

He was alive. We have a giant coffin, a purple suit to buy. Yeah. That was a, I mean, that was so, it's amazing how much time has passed, you know, now amazing with Patrice. And, you know, he is, he's like a legend. He really is, you know, yeah. And I wish, I wish he was around that to talk about what's going on.

And his opinion would have been great right now. Him and Jeraldo would have been. Also, he might have been exiled to another country though. Also, we found that on the oddball tour, the people that came out on Sebastian's year were Sebastian. Oh yeah, absolutely. We're ready to go after Sebastian because they put the best spot they give, I mean, the person with the, Sebastian because you know, they put like the best spot

They give I mean the person with the when they think about who the headliners are the spot that the headliner who's Taking the most action once is the second the last spot right and so it was Amy The one year I did it. Why would they do it like that because it's a long fucking day. It's a long show It's a long day and they are are waiting for a headliner But once they get one of them like there a lot of people are like Yeah, I mean like Amy's crowd Amy would clear out a little bit before his ease But his ease was drawn heavy. So yeah, it was still pretty packed for me to good But Sebastian fans are Sebastian fans and whoever would go, dang cook, Jim Jeffries, all you could go after him, I mean, and Exodus in an amphitheater when he would get off stage and then the person going

you have to perform for not exaggerating, like less than two thirds of the audience. And how distracting is it when everyone's walking out? And also because yes, it's one to the other, one to the other. So the last person going on is going to noisy, actually a people leaving. It's that that's a rough spot.

I was can I just say it's really really good. I watch this thing about Woodstock and the event and how you know all the thing. So you know, everybody knows Jimmy Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner. Okay, that happened the morning of the last day. Everyone had already left. There was like 10,000 people out of 400,000 people there.

So it's amazing how the one thing anybody really knows about it, like this amazing song was really like people who just like pack it up like, did you, you know, you got your basket? Did you leave the bond? You know, it's like this guy's just up there strumming away. It's like early in the morning. So it's like, it's amazing how like, you're right.

Like they had already like, you know, country Joe and the whatever band they heard. Like they just all shot their lobe. And now it's like this, let's give Jimmy Hendrix a minute. You're right like they had already like you know country Joe and the whatever band Shot their loo, but now it's like this. Let's give Jimmy Hendrix a minute Hello, I'm DJ Lou and here's a clip from this week's lost tapes with Ralph Sutton as our guest Dan tells stories of his childhood crushes Including one beauty who loved to shove different objects up her purse. This girl had a huge crush on in high school.

They just kind of toyed with me for years. She's the one that came out to comedy works. She was like, I wonder what my life would be like. Bitch, you've struck me along for six years. She would always talk about all the places she fucked with her ex-boyfriend, and she was so hot. She'd be like, oh my God, we'd fucking like a hammock and outside, and I was trying to hook up with her.

And she just kept leading me out. That's so shitty. She's like, God, we fucking like a hammock and outside and I was trying to hook up with her She just kept leading me. That's so shitty. It was she's like god. I love come I know I gotta get out of here Like the taste to deal pretty much doesn't matter any consistency of it It's pretty crazy. How come I live for it. I'll die for it. I How come I live for it. I'll die for it. I'll get you out I got to get to the best blowjob in a roar I'm a three-time one. She has anyway Hopefully I find some cock on my way home. You're the best friend. Oh god. You're best. Thanks for taking me to homecoming And then kiss you with dick breath. Yeah

Sorry, Robbie splooves the water the guys I'm blowing the story of water. Can you believe it? They don't have water just huge great dicks. Oh my god. I got to go to another party your rival high school Yeah, she had a threesome with my buddy Mike. Oh, I met her and who's the other person this her friend another girl. Yeah I'll tell you what man. That's why she kept like talk telling all these stupid head man There was no growth in my school growing up even when they were fucking Something about it was like there was no stories of like a girl like everyone trying to keep it like if a girl if people found out a girl was fucking there used to be like they say she walked with a gap which

Yeah, that was a big thing about school to a really nonsensical It's not even scientifically anything. They say, you can tell the girl gets fucked because it's a guy's a watcher. It was fat girl excuses for not getting fucked. Yeah, tell her all fluts. Yeah, skinny girls. Look how far apart your guys are. Yeah, look at your size.

You can't walk around. Yeah, I'm falling on. Yeah, I got deep dicks. Anyway. Science. So the girls in my school didn't really uh there was no no three sums but now I'm sure I bet you take the average decent looking semi liked like popular semi popular kid in any score right now I bet he's got the pussies and tits of

three to four girls. Yeah, but it's also because it's so giving it so it's so available. The concept of three sims and I know, but I'm just saying girls at school. If you were even like, let me take pictures of you with like a camera or a film as fun. Like it was insane to even me, my friends that my ex-girlfriend, that Cheryl, I used to film me and Cheryl, she would film whatever it was. I thought you were about hot dog pussy, right? I don't know, but this is the right day.

She fucked 755 hot dogs in an hour. She'd call Biyashi. She'd call Biyashi two minor league baseball teams, Dick's Worth, because pretty impressive. So this girl transferred to my high school and she was like gorgeous. Huge, huge tits. She was like, or I was 17, she was 15 and she liked a 16 year old and she would just make videos for him of her. But how? Fingerier stuff with a VHS dude.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, like a shoulder. But then would give him a tape. Yes. That's fucking bat shit crazy. Yeah, then he showed He showed everybody and everyone was like and I she was so hot that I was still like well that doesn't mean She liked this guy so much and he was like, you know, I'm Kind of a shitty dude and he was just like yeah, you should fuck your like at a party He was like you should fuck yourself. I wasn't there. So you should fuck yourself with this tennis racket and then someone brought down a hot dog Everyone had you know that like urban myth sure, but we I there was a face in a name to it And I always wonder if it had actual happened But I know three people that were there they watched her fuck herself with a hot dog hold hot dog

And she couldn't do it. She was like she went to do it She was like that's too cold but before that she did it with a tennis racket By the way, I was still considered taking her to prom after all that hope you enjoyed this week's best of the bonfire You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6 a.m. East on Comedy Central Radio Series XM 95 or on demand on the serious XM app be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire at sexm This has been a Comedy Central podcast out the bonfire at SXM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.