The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - On The Gate (feat. Geo Perez & Derek Drescher)

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Find out which members of the Bonfire would survive in jail! Geo Perez & Derek Drescher have stories from prison and a podcast called "On The Gate."

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Word and the pin, the fool was a snitch. So without his statement, I made a weapon quick. Found a sharp piece of metal, take it to a stick, then the bullhorn stands.

That means it's time to shout. If we didn't just knew what hip hop was going to evolve into like the talent of the lyrics and the rhyming, we all just want to try it back here. Yeah. Because now you were like at your worst like pretending to wrap. You'll

sound about like this. Yeah. The rap was very rudimentary back then. Yeah. They didn't know about all the layers and shaking. What was the rappers delight? That was sugar hill gang. Sugar so dry. Tastes like woo. Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty easy. I could have scored that. It's the bonfire faction talk series 6M 103 big jokerson the great Robert Kelly with me joining us in the show everybody You could check out their podcast on the gate everyone Follow them at geo Perez 86 at Derek Drescher. I'll spell that for you and we'll also post it up later It's Geoprez and Derek Drescher everybody

Drescher Drescher Yeah, we're talking before I've I've never met you guys. Yeah, I never met you guys But I'm a seller comic and I guess there's a stand comedians. They don't let felons in there But they look like stand comedians. They don't let felons in there. Yeah, but they look like Stan comedians. What does that mean? You don't have colors on and you know, yeah, we're very, you're gray.

Yeah, you're very gray. Very New York. You know what I mean? Yeah, like they don't look ethnic, you mean? So are they? They're not lesbians or some kind of an an Indian grandmother with a rolling pin in the ring. You said it not me. You said it not me. They just they just like a regular

New York comics. Like from the 90s. Guys trying to be funny like two idiots. What do you guys try to be funny? Yeah, we don't care about crowd work clips Well start We all start worrying about our cry over clips get them out get them out often Yeah, but these guys can't do crowbar is gonna end in violence What you say you fucking cock suck? We know it's the funniest thing is that like That's the immediate joke you would make on the thing, but I've It's hard for me to picture both these guys did time it all because they're the

nicest guys ever. Yeah, they had to be a darker side or you guys were terrible criminals They usually make you nice a hundred percent. Yeah, make you a nicer person. I feel like a lot of guys who come out are respectful Because you got to be respectful in there. You're gonna to get, you know, there's going to be problems. Can I ask a couple questions? Sure. I was in, I was in the jewelry jail. Yeah, I know if you heard it. Yeah, it's still a gum bomb machine.

Bobby Bubblegum. Oh, snap. I, you just been bobbed. Did you probably would have ran that place? Did you, did you, what, well, you were like a real like, holy shit jail? I did, I did my three years in jewelry when I was young and then when I was an adult I graduated to big boy So you went from juby to regular jail. Yeah, I mean there was a little break in between there, but yeah

Well, there's two separate things. Yeah, well I knew a couple guys that went when they when they when they became a team because they're crime So they actually roll the transfer them right into yeah transfer them into regular gym. The Juvia is horrible. It's prison for children. It's not it's not fun But some of them I was in a couple them that were all right I was in one that was called NFI Shelter Care, okay, which this guy Yitzok came up with this thing called Noosh guy. No, he was actually Puerto Rican Don't you talk Shalom Dreadlewitz? Yeah, it was Jewish. He came up with this thing called normalization.

So they left the windows and doors open. Oh, it was a non-secured detention. I was in Rahuos. I ran. Oh, you did? Yes. So you fucked it up for everybody. 30 days you got steak, 60 days, everybody got lobster.

So they gave you these things. What the fuck? That's Boston shit. They have a board. Six days since last year. I've only been fucking knocking everybody out for their fucking lobster, bro. Well, they had bad ones too.

They had one in Halifax in the cranberry bogs. It was an old camp that they took over. And it was just like, there was one road in and one road out and it was like four miles or something like that and you would, like the staff would be the shit out of you. Yes, that's good, that's good, that's good, Juvie, right? The worst one I was in was Rochester, New York

was the worst Juvie I was ever in. That was terrible. Which one was it up there? Oh, D.F.Y. Division for youth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what I know. I know what.

You're a number? Yeah, you're a number. You're fighting every day? Yeah, well, I, yeah, it sucked. I mean it's glad you ate your school. It was fucking scary man I went up there and I remember that was that's when I found God I swear to God I got on my knees. Oh, please get me out of here It's funny if someone runs these things it seems that it's like nasty enough and so I everyone's following line that uh the famous one sheriff Joe R.a.o

Yeah, oh Arizona when they did that lock up And so, everyone's following Lauren. That, the famous one, Sheriff Joe R.A.P.O. Yeah. When they did that lock up, we're all thick with them, and they're all outside, and he makes them wear pink. Yeah. I mean, they're just around him, like in the background. It looks like the Kendrick Lamar album cover. 75 Black Dude, all behind it. And he goes, and he's in front of me, goes,

I'm making wear pink, like ladies, take away the self respect. He's just like, look, you're out of your mind dude. They're just behind them like, I can't really do anything about it, Sheriff Joe. When you went to real prison though after Juvie, I was totally prepared. You were, yeah.

Yeah, really? Yes, yeah, yeah. You get ready. You get older guys, like they know you're going to prison, they give you like a little talking and stuff like that. Like if you find a bag of sneakers on your bed, don't take that. They give you, they want it down.

That's a rookie mistake. Rookie mistake. Very green. He's very green. Don't take that bag off the bed. I mean, I saw more sex stuff in Juvie than I didn't fucking an adult. Really?

You didn't see any sex stuff? No, dude, you're just saying this dude. Like someone used to, dude, like someone used to do it. Dude, you have to blow dudes for shit. I'm like, dude, you're in there for like six months. If you suck a dick for a cigarette, you get it. You get it. You know Bobby Story, Bobby went to a jewelry

to get away from all the pussy he was getting in 11. You're all, you got it. It's insanity when he says happened to him. It all has to be abuse. You know. Turn to dick. It's about when he says happen to him. It all has to be abuse. You know, I'm telling you, the time is now it's molestation. Back then you just fucking a pimp. Yeah, the man crushing it.

10 year old pimp sucking big titties in a rhubarbush. That's not by someone goes, your 11 year old daughter is having sex. You go, oh my God, don't worry, it's an 11 year old boy because that's not better. Yeah. But like, like you look, like you,, can I say this without you get like, if I saw you, you look like a criminal.

You don't look like dude, if I saw you in jail, but like, what were you like in jail? What were you? How did you put your stuff? I was dancing on you just on the property. Yeah, what were you doing? I just fought. You fought all the time. I had a lot of symptoms because I never cared about fighting. Okay, and I would I would either I was they called the

pop-off artist. Well, I would fight first. I'm swinging first because I know I have a chance. I did that too. And you get respect after that. I did that too. When I remember I used to I used to suck a punch. Yeah. Because and it's what sucks with that is when it don't work. Oh yeah, when you hit somebody with and they don't go down. Dude, I hit a guy with all I had. They spit, and look at you. I hit a guy with all I had, and he just swung back and goes motherfucker. But I forgot I had a shit.

So I hit him, and then I shit my pants. Yeah, what the fuck? I had a shit bad, I forgot. And when I hit him with all my, whatever I was holding my ass, hold a shut with, went into the So he came back as a good dad and I'm like, oh shit But it saved my life because in the fight he didn't want to beat you because in the fight he was like what the fuck

That's what I call a popper artist Correct that forever they go. Yo, so and so beat Bobby until he shit. You know, no, no, no. I already had it. And then he beat me up. He didn't beat the shit out of it. So, so you were, what, can I ask what you're hearing? I know you mind it. I've been, do they send you to so many? Downstate, walk, hill, on, and just one.

I got this, I'm going to be honest, and Juve was the worst, some of the worst times in my life. Really? Yeah. Why is that? I mean, you should know that too. Well, I mean, being a white guy, Jovi was bad, but it wasn't as bad.

Like, they would take us to Jail's and show us that shit. But you were getting out. You know, at some point, you could, if you behaved yourself, because they had such a bed crunch, that they would come in like all the time, be like, when are you guys going home? Right, right, right.

Because we need the bed, because some other bad motherfucker. We need the bed for this cocksucker. And they had levels, like they had bad ones, and then they would have good ones, and they had this thing called intake. I thought he was a good boy. I tried.

They had a thing intake. I remember my first night in there, we went into the, they put you in a room. And that was the first time I was around like, you know, real bad fucking dudes. Yeah, back kids, yeah. Yeah, there was bad kids. And I remember they came in with sandwiches.

They had like three day old sandwiches. The Jimmy Deans, Bologna and cheese. No, it was Italian, but it was from a deli down the street that they would give the sandwiches that they didn't sell away. So you open it up and they had purple onions on the top. And every kid opening up took the onions and they had purple onions on the top and every kid opened it up, took the onions and then threw them up on the ceiling. And I looked

on the ceiling, it was covered in onions. I was like, what the where am I? Right? And then the guy goes, listen man, when they come and get you, ask where you're going. If they don't tell you, you're going somewhere bad. So before they shackle you, ask, hey, where am I going? If they tell you, you're going somewhere good. If they don't, you're going somewhere bad. So before they shackle you, ask, hey, where am I going? If they tell you, you're going somewhere good. If they don't, you're going somewhere bad. And I went out and they took me out and they shackled, I go, where am I going? He goes, he just looked at me and then started just cuffing me. I was like, fuck me. And I went to the Charlestown Y. It was, it was a bad place. It was a, yeah, some kid got stabbed in the eye with a pencil

that night when I showed up. It was fucked up. It was a good welcoming party. Yeah, it was it was bad I think you could have everything you needed the YOCA Downstairs. Yeah, she could work out for the apps upstairs young man. Yeah, you're going to the Y I guess all the fun was in the MCA. I remember one of my first sucks One the first night and even the first morning is always worse But one place else and I remember thank God there was a kid I knew of the first nights, and even the first morning, is always worse, but one place I was in, I remember, thank God there was a kid I knew from the street there, but like, as soon as I got my roll up,

and I got to like, you know, my rack, it was, they put us in a big dorm, it was like four dudes on me, you know, like, you know, sneakers. And it's just like, fuck. I had to fight as if I would have gave him to him. You should have started naming sneakers Mike Jordan Hardaway foam pause Jays J would have to be the king of prison or killed the first

He's not there's no in between with him his sarcasm would even made this motherfucker's funny Yeah, you're a humor. I'm gonna be like the dudes like shit talk guy. Yeah, you be holding court No, he'll be holding court or to have pig tails and have his thumb and somebody's From baby pocket, but I'll still be somewhere. Yeah, where they go. Jay that's enough and I go right boss Sit down boss here I made the mistake of going in bringing the Jordans upstairs Because when I was is my first time going to jail and his guys like, he sees the Jordan's in my property bag.

And he goes like, where are you going? He's like, oh, you going to the minor dorm? He's like, I wouldn't bring that up. He's like, I would leave it in your property. And in my mind, I was like, no, I'll be good. I got, in the first 24 hours, I got those sneakers stolen. Somebody felt bad. Give me an old pair of air forces.

Those got stolen the next day. So you're handed down. Oh, it is being the show, my replacement. Somebody felt bad. Give me an old pair of air forces. Those got stolen the next day And then I had to leave the jail in the Velcro shoes that the jail Walking out with a black eye and petacters. Yeah, my air wardens. Yeah That was a were holidays with the worst. Oh, dude holidays are the worst when you're in a correctional facility Christmas I was in one for Christmas and they came in with just a bag of shit somebody dropped off And we were like we were rummaging through it. Yeah, but one kick out a guest Dungery jacket we were like give me the full congee. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I'll sit down the I'm just trying a Bible and a pair of socks for Christmas

I'll sit down the I'm just trying a Bible in a pair of socks for Christmas That's Jesus. The Nuzard. Um, when you said the thing that they don't take the Snickers bar on the bed, It's laying there for you when you do like reject the thing that's I know the ideas are trying to rope you into owing them or whatever When you reject it though, like Do you have to aggressively reject it or you just like put it outside the cell and just be like? Yeah, they told me you take it out put on a table like yeah whoever this is no thank you yeah so it's a polite way of saying I'd like to fuck you in the

house and have you shut me off I think it's saying like hey take this as a compliment if you want to but I'm gonna begin the process of having you owe me your asshole what I would second down payment for yeah I know it's not gonna happen today but please take this and know that I'm interested and through a series of owing me. Yes, I just Ding Dong's and white dude some white account and you're like this is fucking awesome Yeah, I love his on the phone with this white babe. They gave me a whole welcoming package Get name brand candy Kizian is M&M's a big shadow appears over him.

A lot of times you want to watch my TV. Yes, he is like on his phone with his wife. Everybody's really nice to me. Yeah, one snickers. No, they'll give you a whole bag of stuff. It can be anything, it can be a bar. So, the chicken stuff that they know you need, like toothpaste or something. Jacob, they're not going to fuck you in the ass for one snicker.

Yeah, they're not animals. It's gonna be a few. They're not cheap in there when they would get pulled. You'll be able to pay all of us. I mean, even the bag of snickers seems like a big, well, it doesn't seem to be equal. It's not bags of snickers all over the place and there it's a commodity.

Jacob, say what is, I'll tell you what it, the place is lousy with. Dude's assholes. Yeah. I love that Jacob thinks it's a good deal. A whole bag. No, I don't think it's a good Jacob doesn't want to always asshole for a long as Nicker. He's in a simple car family size Jacob The only family in this room pure sugar in this room out of all the men in here, right who I fuck No, but now yes, no, but no, yes, I have the most connection

We had fun That's intimate that's more intimate We play we play fuck kill kill For you You can't even shake. What would you think of a shank, Bob? What are you gonna have? What are you gonna say, actually, I'm curious to what your question is. I'm saying like, what would we be in prison?

Like, what would we be in prison? Right now? If you look at all of us right now, If I look at both of you on these guys or bikers, they're helping us. Yeah, you guys are going on white supremacy. They're the hell's angels. I go to white supremacy.

You go to white supremacy. Yeah, as a Jew, it's gonna hurt, but you gotta do it. I tell you my friend's name, my friend's brother who's in jail time, all the Aryan shit is last name's Brawman. I mean, Jewish lazy. He just goes, it doesn't matter. He also told me, who does matter, he goes, I'll be honest with you. No one, it was very few of the guys in a jail that are in like the Aryan thing are into

the, give a shit about the Aryan White supremacist things. You just gonna hang out with the white guy So it was kind of like no one really is that angry at the bleach. It's like you got to eat lunch over here or someone's gonna give you shit Well, what would Jacob be? Someone's come sock I already Someone's come suck I'm just gonna take this because there's no way I'm gonna Yeah, myself

I'm like You should go in a piece you should go on a PC Quick That's the me that's where you got it You don't think you can be somebody's accountant Oh yeah It depends on like what what place he went to and what you know what he if he's like in a max place you got to go to PC No, one want to go fucking what you want to recommend though that maybe Jacob go learn the law a little bit

And then you become a jailhouse lawyer. Yeah, you can be a Smaller general. Oh, maybe he could learn how to fix radios. Oh Do the jail podcast Yeah, you could actually you could win them over like with some kind of fucking We trapped in a place music or something. I see Jacob because it's very cold in jail and I see him snapping, stabbing somebody to death and earning his respect.

And next you know, they're just laying sweatsuits at his feet like you eat them alone. Mr. Jit, is that winter time leaving alone? He's like Rob Schneider. I never thought about the temperature. It was like, it's cold. It's cold in jail. And they keep it low to stop the spread of germs Somehow that's what they say he makes no checks out of soap

Just beats the shit out of people open the sock no it's cold motherfucker Chris and his not for you just like that bitch Christine What is the Like you walk in the of all of them like you walk in new guy, is it pretty much guaranteed you have to have a physical thing to do or some of these leave you alone? If it's gonna keep your head down, don't, yeah. The chances are if you're really like a street guy,

you've been doing- People know who you are. People are gonna know who you are. I had to go in, my friend, this guy Lenny was in, we were in jail together and he went to prison prison after Juvee jail and I had to go visit him but he was in, and I don't know if they're still around, they gotta be.

Let me claw. No, no. He was out. Wow, did you guys have history in bar? Salem jail, which is like from the fucking, you know, this is fire. Was that hanging out? What's just, no, Salem Massachusetts.

And he, there's a moat around it. It was such an old jail. They just had a bucket in the room. They didn't have bathrooms. Get out of here. He just had a bucket and they had to throw a moto around it. It was such an old jail. They just had a bucket in the room. They didn't have bathrooms. Get out of here. He just had a bucket and they had to throw a pill in it to dissolve the shit or whatever. It's the guy standing with an axe and a mask over his head.

I'll tell you, jail. It was a bad, because the Charlestown jail, which was open when I was a kid, is now a hotel. Is that where you're from Charlestown? No, I'm from Medford, which is a couple of towns over, but the jail they had when I was a kid is an awesome hotel. So is it true that whole thing about the armored cars and the banks?

Yeah. So Charlestown was the bank robbing capital of the country. It's like a union, like a father would do it, a son would do it, the grandfather did it. So you know, it's wild. One of the times I was incarcerated, I get this book, you know, the guy would roll around with the books, like the library. This is what we was incarcerated, I get this book, you know, the guy would roll around with the books like the library.

This is what we got. And I saw this book, Prince of Thieves. I thought it was gonna be about like Robin Hood or some shit, and it was actually the book about the town. Yeah, I'm reading it. And I'm like, fuck, this is awesome. Like I would. Charlestown was a fucked up.

I mean, like what do you want to do when you get out? And I'm like, oh, I think I'm gonna start robbing banks and an armored car. First time I got mugged is I was in Charlestown. For real? Yeah, I was fucking eight. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was just,

I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was, I was, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was, I was just, I river? He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on.

He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on.

He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, hold on. He's like, how the fuck did you get there? Yeah. You flipped you with Darn too. Hey kid, I got it hard. I love the Boston accent.

I got a hat. I got a hat. Yeah, it's, it's, and I don't want to ask what you did, but was it? Oh, drugs. Drugs. I got a drug and a salt. One gun and then a salt with a deadly weapon. But that wasn't a weapon.

I threw a snowball at somebody and it broke a mirror. And the mirror cut the bouncer So they hit me with a felony assault that they didn't even reduce Wow because if they would have reduced it one level would have became a misdemeanor and I already had the gun charge Pandings so they're like fuck this kid. It's too bad. They didn't like in jail like put you in a jail baseball team as a picture Yeah, I'll start it when I fucking assaulted a guy about I mean listen to showed you know like I wish I wasn't so afraid of guns Yeah, you like I wish I wasn't as an adult like I'm glad like when I was a kid

I never like fuck around to have a respect fire on it. No, right? So I wish I wasn't so like I'm like a freight of them. I just they really make me I love one reason Yeah, I'm afraid of going to take I shoot him like to carry a gun. I could never do that for sure carrying it first, but even just I'm saying when someone's like Like what Nate on the Nate's house to one time he was like yeah me and Lord got guns and he's just like you know It's like unloaded every because it kind of just pulls that you're like, I don't know my don't pull it out Yeah, which is like leave it like I don't know it seems such a I love America. Yeah, there is some people

I love guns. Jay doesn't like America. I love America and our troops. There is some people who should not have guns. I have relatives who are like on the NYPD and I'm like they should not. Yeah, it's not people. I don't trust the cop who still has a sick shooter. I stand by. I stand by Lewis in a brown leathery fucking hole street. Yeah, it's so worn out from drawing it so many times. Yeah, I don't trust that. The best job. He's only allowed.

He's only allowed six shots. Yeah. I think Lewis shouldn't have a gun ever. He has no, no, no, he doesn't. I'm saying I don't think he should ever have a gun. He'll, he'll probably will one day. But I know somebody on the train. Yeah.

He definitely shouldn't carry for sure. Yeah, I look I'm getting I want to get my carry permit soon, but I you can't do it and I'm not going to get the one to get in. Because you wear the one that goes under your armpit. Yeah, the detective. Yeah, yeah, I look at you have a detective like a 38 snub nose. Yeah, yeah, I'm I mean look at a board of cold cases Christ you're buckling throw it over a chair God you just and you open up a thermos and go coffee's cold I'm gonna get I'm getting my permit to carry a handgun Yeah, pull it out here wave it around like oh fat Elvin you can't have it man Hatten is a whole different world. Oh, dude, you cannot guns are illegal here. Come in to do the podcast. But it's it's so was

fucking so was fucking a church, but that didn't stop bobe Anthony. Are you saying we are not as good as over here? Anthony Bobby. Actually, that was the beginning of the stop of bobe. Oh, somebody got. Somebody got. Somebody got a church. Oh, God. St. Peter's same Patrick's get the fuck out of here Well, they had a thing called what was it Jay sex for Sam sex for Sam whether you go around and then have places to have sex You got certain points and one of them was they would send a comic with Yeah, with like prostitute No, couple you take a girl they're not fucking animals

So somebody fucked that. You could fucking a church and got like 10 points but if you did it in the butt you got an extra 5. So you and you were the comic to the mirror? Listen man, no. 100% not. You're a point conversion so Bobby walks in the church. I would say God I would dip his fingers in the God water and eat the fucking water.

God water. You he got it on the uh... i went i went dominoes ominous and i stuck in her butt and then she up that guy's cock right in her butt that was a mean was uh... and paul mccurio paul mccurio of all people i know paul mccurio seems like such a nice to meet guy he's just a little guy to be involved in this major but it's pretty much the thing that brought down. Well, it was part of what brought down brother O and A, Stern, like, you know, for that first

beginning of everything. But it was Jack. Janet Jackson's tip was the real beginning of it all though. Really? Yeah. That's when they came hard with the censorship. And they just, yeah, every clear channel started taking off like Stern and everything like that thought it was I miss when he called those girls from Yeah, yeah, happy head hose. Yeah, that was that was rough for him though I don't know if it was the beginning of like an onslaught of shit That was like his Yeah, and that was a dumb thing was racist forever anyway Yeah, he thought he he probably has a black friend that he talked to and he just like

Dude you idiot you can't say that. He is and she's a sweet heart, but it was so funny. After the nap, he had a host thing. I miss his next power move. Do you remember he goes? He hired Alex, the black female Alex regar. I mean, he's not like he hired a carrot foster who couldn't be a more like she talks like a brother, like a Beverly Hill.

I love car. She's a sweetheart, but she really was like, she like a brother like a Beverly Hill I love care she's sweet heart but she really was like she goes how I got I like it was like a Hillary it's like he hired he hired Hillary from fresh brints to be the black woman to give the black person and that way was he like a someone's was she like that or no not even it just she didn't make too many waves and then even one day she quit or she had to be like that that's enough. Yeah. Look, this guy sucks.

Yeah. It's crazy. I thought that was the whole downfall. I didn't know somebody got fucked in the ass. It's the same Patrick's Cathedral. That's wild. It was a bad move. It was a bad move.

It was a bad move. It was a bad move. Here's the thing is that they, I think the cops were like, we're trying to like, hey, just go. Start, get the, and something happened with a, they could have got away with it in the cops because the cops were own, we're trying to like, hey, just go. Get the, and something happened where they, they could have got away with it. And the cops, cause the cops were own a fans back then. They were the biggest they've ever been. Right.

And, and the cops could have, they were like, come on, just bail or something happened. And they, you know, and I think Paul is, I don't know, something, something, someone to finish. Yeah. I mean, yeah, obviously we'll be out in a moment, let him fit. Get an negotiator. You. Radio's radio's getting off.

Get an negotiator, I'll talk to him. Are you guys at about 15 more minutes? You better hope Bradx is still asleep. If you want to get that five points that it gives you absolutely nothing, you get nothing for doing this. You want to talk to the mayor? You actually going to hell. You imagine dying and then this. You want to talk to the mayor. You're actually going to hell.

Did you imagine dying and then you have to go to hell and be like, why am I here? This is the little prank. Same Peter, bring up the ONA clip. Yeah, remember when you butt fucked in the house of God? The house of God. Can I ask another question, what was your job in prison? Oh, I had a few.

I, my favorite one ever was your job in prison? Oh, I had a few I My favorite one ever was working in the kitchen really yeah Cuz you got to burn your fucking your enemies with soup You puts glass in it and soap you make them shit. Yeah hot gravy what motherfuckers we Cuz you think you if you're cooking for the officers now you got real food You don't got to eat the fucking jail shit and you have a chance to steal and you hold like a lot of Like real cheese goes a long way if you can get real cheese back to the tier of the black You know, I mean, yeah, yeah, seasoning that's a coffee, you know I mean like that should hold you know

He holds a lot of weight so I really like doing that and then they had me on this crew where I'd go like fucking empty garbage is and like pick up cigarette You got to go out like that outside detail. Yeah, but I fucking pocket the it's only white cigarettes That's not the only give the white inmates that white Yeah, all the Spanish and black people in the kitchen It was a white That was too fast run it wasn't like that when I was in they only wanted white guys in the kitchen I get it

Yeah, so we had to watch a bunch of guys they all could possibly run away. I go don't send me Get big J and Bob Which is he goes some bitch took off like lightning I Didn't know J was that fast You see J picking up cigarette butts on the side Christ for myself up I that's how I met Pat from the stand. I thought I was in the kitchen. Were you guys friends in jail?

You didn't know each other? No. No. So that's interesting. So I knew that was your history with Patrick, yeah. From the stand. Oh, oh really? Oh, because he worked in the,

he worked in the long island. You were a prisoner. Yeah. And he was in the kitchen. And I worked for him. And then he would like, I talked about comedy and then he was just like showing me pictures of all these people that I was mentioning.

So I was like, oh, Patrice O'Neill and he showed me a pic, then I was like, oh, Bobby Kelly and he shows me a picture of Carl Tracea. And I was like, oh no, wait, that's Bobby Kelly with a pencil thin gold tee. I'm just letting no Patrice die. Oh, no, yeah, no, no. Not by the way.

I just thought he was doing time, then. And you know, I was dead when I was like, I don't wanna over a dramatized thing, but Patrick even told me that way. He said he used to tell him and the thing, like I'm gonna come, like when you get out of here, he's like come do my club. He said when you got five minutes, come talk to me.

Yeah, I mean, dude, that's fucking great. And the statistics of you guys doing what you're doing is crazy. Yeah, it's low. The recidivism rate is high. People usually go back. Like one out of 30. Yeah, some shit like that.

Derek also runs like a fuck, fuck the new fish, like exercise workout. Yeah, it's a gym that only hires you if you were, if you've been convicted of a felony. You get to fuck people and work out with them? What? You sat sex with my clients a lot, but then they fucking were like you gotta stop

But it's a different thing for them. You have to stop forcing this on me dude So I don't we hire everybody. I just want to get in shape. I'm paying for this stop giving me sneakers Why do you give me a bag of sneakers for so this guy? He's the owner He's the owner. He at 19 he was making like two million dollars a year off of a cocaine delivery business He was all about the Minikins. Yeah, wow, and then Sarita she killed the guy when she was 16 So she really motivated you. Yeah, but we sit up motherfucker Bobby was like a master thief that he's the guy right there on the right Masato she was just a hooker Kenny Kenny like had like he sold a bunch of crystal meth who we got down there. He's not even Asian

David tell Peter took somebody's life. Oh, that's great. And so did uh, uh, uh, who we owe he took a life. That would suck if you were the relatives of the guy who they killed. And they're like, hey man, I know you from somewhere. Nah. Did you take my son's life? You're the one who goes, you chest didn't touch the ground. Doesn't count. It does count. It doesn't fucking count.

Oh, it counts bitch. I tell you I'm paying you it counts. Working and working there is a wild fucking thing. What is this? I like what is it so that we only so we hire everybody We will hire you as long as you are not a sex offender or a snitch Okay, then we'll hire you. It's it's it's personal training. Yeah, where do they go? They don't they don't come to us. Yeah, they're part of the street team. Yeah, they have a they have a preschool that they're running They opened the joint preschool only higher It's a daycare and they also hold fettin' all there. We run a summer camp

Well, yeah, working there is a trip sometimes sometimes we met we met in that gym I was running at a legal show during the pandemic. Oh, a comedy show. Yeah, what does that matter to you? Yeah, I'm a good fuck. Yeah, that's hilarious. That's why I met Gio. So you guys started this podcast and what do you guys

talk about in the podcast? Jail, Harold, and then you have people on or then talk about like, do you have real criminals? Come on or we have, yeah, we've had costs come on. We had a we had Peter come on. We have we've had real criminals on. I we got a guy that wants to come on out It was locked up but cosby in Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah, yeah, you guys ever get big herk big herk Oh, that's the big guy with the soft voice. I want to get a

Fleece booty warrior Johnson. I don't want him. I'm that guy. You guys ever heard of him It's guys like the greatest rapist of all time. He's got top. He would put up people's numbers. It's gay rape. Yeah, it's gay rape. Oh, gay rape doesn't count. Yeah, it doesn't count. He's that guy you never seen a guy goes the most important thing in prison, more important than food, more important than air.

It's a man's booty hole. Yeah, I do remember that. I do remember that. This is a real man. I mean, he's got a point. He would rip sink the guard. There's a documentary about him in the guard He would, he would rip sink the the guard. There's a doctor Marybottom in the guard was saying that he would rip sinks off the wall. And they say it would take him a couple days. He's a big guy. He's a big dude. Yeah, I think

he was like six five. He was just a big guy. So I don't want to be anywhere near this like 50 years. He was like locked up at seven. So he's free. He's free. Yeah. It does he has he's still fucking booty holes. I think he's married, but he says man, he misses that booty. Can you get? Yeah, because he has he's still fucking booty holes? I think he's married, but he says man He misses that booty. Yeah, cuz you can get addicted to booty hole, right? I would imagine so I would imagine a strong one once you get a taste of the forbidden food What you got the issue? He can't sleep in a regular bed and he's gonna fuck that booty hole Yeah, the thirst now. Yeah, he's sleeping on the floor a lot

Well, there's these guys who get locked up and they have like wives and kids outside, but they have male sexual partners while they're incarcerated. Like, yeah. I don't know how to say that. I'm gonna have to be only because I know. But see, you got so just in the space where you're like, fuck it, dude, I'm gonna do it. I just know when I come, you're gonna be right back to like, I could have jerked off and felt exactly the same way right now. Yeah, like right now.

Jay, me and you would be Queens eight seconds into jail. No, I'll do what I have to do. Yeah, me and you would have our own podcast. Matching swastik tattoos. Called the bone fire, the monofallas. Crackle, crackle our assholes. I'm gonna name my own color of lipstick. Big J-Nee. Big J-Nee. Big J-Bobby. Bobby Purple.

Bobby Purple. And then they may they talked about him on Bull Docs. The Bull Docs, that's such a great. You can go to YouTube and bring up big Herk real quick as he was he talks about everything. He's like a huge dude He's you mouth voice, but he like his stories are pretty good. 10 years 10 years in the feds He just says like he's like everybody was pretty sure this dude is snitch so they fuck his butt Fuck Jacob. Can you be this guy?

Guys Jacob. Would you protect me guys? How much the fuck Jacob right now? It's my nightmare. What does it like to make a duty in jail? You guys take up. Would you protect me? Guys, how much does that make up right now? It's my nightmare. What does it like to make a duty in jail? Like, what do you mean? I mean, so this is the thing. You got to also, if you have beef with somebody, you got to take your pants all the way off

when you're taking it. I'm sorry, what? You got to shit, you're known when you got beef. Yeah, because the thing is, it's standing on the literally the phrase, getting caught with your pants down. I feel like it comes from there, because you have a standing on literally the phrase getting caught with your with your pants down I feel like it comes from there because you have a you have drama somebody you're on the toilet taking a shit And now you got your jumpsuit wrapped around your ankles. They come in to get you your fuck. You have to shit naked

You gotta take your bottom. You should No, there's no stall you shit No, there's no stall you shit. So there's a couple different ways. You're the close door go behind. Well, do you have a private shower? No, there was no private shower. That's because he was given that booty. Yeah. My son was fleecewood booty.

He was a person. He's right. So I was good. He does love it, but he does pay up. Yeah, you make sure I keep it clean. Yo, baby, you get your own shower. Yeah. So you guys angry at you and you know he's coming for you, but you have to shit so you you take your you're everything off

I said when everybody's you go to the urinal standing up and you Oh, he was No, I believe every word that means you that means you want it That means that's the guys who want to get fucked in the house you get fully naked I thought we learned cool prison to shut in back stuff in the urinal. I seen that don't want, so it was like some guy with Down syndrome and a gas station in Florida.

I've seen it in Jersey at us rest up. Guy has pants down, those angles at a urinal. I'm like, oh God. Oh, showin' his ass at the urinal. That's worse. So that'll be what it's like in the dorm. And sometimes they might have a partition up. Yeah, they'll have like a partition

that's like probably this high so you'll just everybody's face. It's a tool that's side by side. Come on, I'll tell you what if I went to jail it's my... It's my... Oh, thanks. It is my biggest nightmare for sure going to jail but however like I would say if I went and the stalls at very least were like those white ones right there. It's like that.

If it was like that I swear to you I'd go Okay, this wasn't the worst it could possibly be I think the one in your cell. Yeah is the worst They have that in Iraq too I went to Iraq and I'm great. It's how the soldier shit. Yeah, they shit like that I was literally my like my first couple days there. I had to take a shit and I went in we did a show I went in and I'm a show, I went in, and I'm just staring at a guy, and he goes,

good show man. We both take and dumps. It was like very uncomfortable for hilarious. We would take old bed sheets and put them up over the like that water stove. Like the stalls and partition. And put it in water cups of water over it to hold it down.

That's one of my favorite things on YouTube and the internet is Prisoners, okay, just making shit. Yeah, dude like you make you you figure out how to do shit in prison Yeah, it's like amazing some of the most talented people I've ever met or when they're just shit that they they can make and Even some of the art like you know I wanted to send something nice to my mom from for Mother's Day. I'd have somebody draw something up. I'm a couple suits. A lifelike picture of her and shit like naked.

Yeah. What? Oh, yeah. You. She was a model, Bobby. It's, no, it's different. It's the theater. When you're in the cell, you're at your mom with a wolf head on.

So now it days, you're, you're either in a dorm or you're by yourself most likely. They don't really do that away. They don't really do cellmates anymore. They took cellmates away. Really? So when you have a toilet in a cell, you shit on your own. You don't have to smell somebody else's duty in yourself. Yeah, that's not the guy's not.

A dumper in myself, it was just my self, is the dream. No, that's the dream. I'd rather have that. Yeah. Well, with the toilets, was just myself, is the dream. No, that's the dream. I'd rather have that. Yeah. But with the toilets, they're facing away from the door, so I guys walk and buy it, looking at your ass grind. Why are you shit? And if you have to piss, they're walking by,

and they could just see your dick. Yeah. Yeah, but at that point, you can't, you can't. Yeah, that's a fuck. I do still. Yeah. I just, little dingy.

That'd be your prison name, Little Dingy J. What do you guys keep saying that? What are you doing? Yeah, Little Dingy, come on little dingy. That'd be your prison name, little dingy Jay. What are you guys saying that? What are you doing? Yeah, little dingy. Come on in the yard. What do you see? Why does nobody owe for me Snickers? It's going on. It's freezing in here and I'm starving for Snickers. No, nobody wants to fuck Jay.

I know he'll... Guys, I haven't got any free shit. Jay, I'm gonna go take a shower right now. I'm not gonna use a curtain. Hello, I'm saying you guys know it's been out there. Guys, I'm gonna go take a shout right now. I'm not gonna use a curtain I'm gonna be standing up fully nude I'll do anything for a snickers. I'm gonna be like a six-year-old at a urinal My pants and my ankles. Are you guys shirt up? I eat now that you get how long have you been how long have you been like have you shit together?

I'll be clean ten years in August, but I haven't I got locked up for an old warrant when I had like a year, a year sober. Okay. Yeah, but it was, I was, it was, I was only there for a couple weeks. And I knew I couldn't handle it anymore. And what about you? Uh, like nine years with one slip up. I slipped up when I got out of jail and I relapsed

for like two months, but then I got the fuck up out of New York and went to Alabama. So now, but so it's been a while. Yeah, I've been, we're far removed. Yeah, really clean since 2016, but I count 2014. Once in a while, we'll do some shit, you know, fuck somebody up or something. I'm sorry if we still got it. I'm sorry, what did you say?

That was only one time, and that's because he was harassing our barkers. Yeah, what? So we had a show, we're running this show on Bleeker, the old lantern. At the old lantern. And there was this fucking dude, just harassing the Barkers. Yeah.

So we had a Barker for us, and I was like, oh, come on man, get the fuck out of here. And the guy starts following me around. Right. And fucking, he spit towards me, he called me a faggot.

Yeah. I'm trying to calm him down the whole time, my girl. Just ignore him, because he's like halfway down the block yelling. But Gio's like, I don't even think he's time I get just ignore him cuz he's like like halfway down the block yelling But Geo's like I don't even think he's talking you like yeah you with the yellow hoodie you faggot Yeah, and then starving everything yeah, yeah, this is everything he's like you you're white the white on white sneakers black jeans You're a faggot man

Talking to you Michael rapper Guy that's a time I I know, yeah, yeah. He's like, he's like, fucking comedy show. I just get the fuck out of here. And then I saw Derek snap and start chasing, like, chasing after him. So I run after him. But I'm like, I'm going to stop him.

But by the time I got there, I just saw Derek do some Mortal Combat Kick Flip and just kick him in the chest. Yeah. And then they both dropped to the floor. And I saw the guy getting up fast. Yeah, that's the top of Derrick. So I'm like, I it's too late to stop and I just start punching him in the back of the head.

And then this other comic, Sunk and Punch Kid. Yeah, yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. Just a little bit. I hit that guy. The whole board is came out. I could not believe it.

I was winding it up. I was running over. That's not even a half. You couldn't fight each other back in the sand. I got to do up. I was running You couldn't fight each other back to the center. I gotta do it. Yeah Dude the fact that I hit that guy like that. He was getting up quicker than me. I was like, oh shit I was like oh it's all over and then another friend of ours Hey, don't think at one point I turn around geos So after after we break up the fight is like come like, come on. Are you guys in a stop? I'll stop. He's like just give me my phone back He's like, keep just give me my phone back and I remember seeing an iPhone on the floor

So I just turned to the comics. I was like whoever stole his phone give it back Tell him why he said that because I'm like, yo, we're not turning this gang assault into a felony robbery Yeah, we're not gonna open and then My friend just takes a phone out of his backpack and just throws him out the floor. He goes like, all right, where's my glove? He kicks the glove over. As soon as he grabs the glove, he's like, yeah, fuck you,

pussy. That's why you got to jump me. Yeah. And he's like, he's filled with ha ha. Did he have one glove? Was he, was that Cory Feldman? Shumma. Shumma. Yeah, the angels try to jump in and they got it too. So congratulations. Yeah, he gets the stuff back And I'm reaching into his pocket. Oh, he as soon as he gets the stuff back

He's like you're all pussy. I could beat you all one-on-one and I was like at this point I'm like I will let you fight I was like we'll let you fight and then Derek like start beating them up Pins him into a corner and then all of a sudden I see the guy like Like starts beating them up pins them into a corner and then all of a sudden I see the guy like jerk Derek back And they knocked over this big huge pop plant full of dirt. Yeah, and he made a foot They both they almost hit the head on the the scaffolding. Yeah, I just saw both I was like I was like they're gonna both crack their head Yeah, and then the guy runs out and I just grabbed Derek. I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here has we're leaving and then we just jump

They're coming we hop in his Prius we have an apriest and Skate all gay That's gayer than the snicker stuff You're living like you're living life straight now you guys are on the straighton arrow You're both hilarious, but you know once and while you guys show the world still got stuff We still got the stuff Geo Perez and Derek Drescher everybody make sure you check out their podcast on the gate They are absolutely hilarious. It's available on patreon follow them on social at geo Perez GE O P E R E Z 86 and follow at Derek Drescher D E R E K D R E S H E R

Christine of course we'll put those all in our social to follow and Derek's gonna be a cap city in Austin great club DJ lose plan Oz and he knew it Eric's gonna be a Cap City in Austin great club. DJ Luz playing Oz and he knew it. Yeah. Oh my shit. He knew it. Who knows the theme song to Oz? Cap City in Austin, that's in Texas.

You know, Austin's in Texas. December 8th and 9th, everybody's next weekend. Yep, yeah. Derek's hilarious. Get tickets at capcitycomedy.com. Check both these guys out if you get a chance. We'll be right back to say goodbye for a minute. What does this all over again?

Robert Kelly live, Big J comedy live. Yeah, that's great. That was great. Come on fire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup

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