The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - One Of The Guys (feat. Craig Gass)

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

The great Craig Gass joins Jay and Mike Finoia and tells hilarious stories about KISS!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. We went to the Rock and Roll Hall fame with your pop. Yeah, that was fun. We did, that was crushing white pop. Yeah. That was fun.

We did. That was crushing Y-Calls. Yeah. We got a little bit of music at the... Mikey went to go shred in the garage. Yeah, they had a lefty. So at the Rock and Wohawafame now, they have the garage. It's basically like a studio where you can pick up instruments and play and just jam out

and stuff. And so they had a lefty guitar. I'm lefty. So I picked it up. So I went over here. And then I'm playing with the guitar. I'm lefty. So I picked it up. So I've been over here. And then I'm playing with the knobs, trying to be cool. And this guy walks over.

Yeah, this is really fun. So what it is, the setup of it is, to give you a full picture here, it's every guitar, there's like seven eight guitar stations, if not more. And they have lefty and righty at each. And there's a huge, in each station, there there's this big huge amp behind you like Marshall stacks like a big stack with the thing on top of it with the knobs and Mike was over there dealing with the knobs like trying to change the tuning and the fucking David Gilmore and Pompey I'm like playing with shit and I think

I think the sound just comes out of the thing above your head right there's a little speaker above his head and Mike's like, oh, yeah, and then then one of the workers almost be like He came over what do you want to ask all there's a there's a screen that says like distortion You know clean whatever like they make it easy. I'm over here like fiddle in which it's not changing anything Yeah, there's a button. Yeah, just it's just all computer I'm like she should show that I almost got it. I almost got it I'm trying to turn to the tanning rip the knob off. They're like you dork. Yeah, like fucking blew his fucking thing off. I'm afraid you're just too

darn loud. It was so fun. Your old man knew a lot about hip hop. I was very blown away by that. Like him and I were geeking out over like Flavvah Flav's clock size. Yeah. He's like, man, I thought it would be bigger. He was not, well, first of all, it's such a dumb thing for him to say. I thought it'd be bigger.

It was one of his clocks. It was that one that was the smaller ones. It was like an outfit, particularly that he gave him from one video. So his clocks, he wore gigantic ones and small ones. It wasn't just a clock. So he didn't know that much about hip hop. But my dad, yeah, he just got the peripheral information

of like the, the stuff that would be at the 90 years of, or the 50 years of hip hop. Like there's such things like my dad who's snooped all his and all that stuff. She came out, not through me. I wasn't around them enough to influence what he had. Just the ether of like public knowledge You know, I mean he knew it. Well, you never like geeked out about it with him. No, no, no, no

I'm saying he was never like now. He when he walked through that, you know, it's like it was also the beginning of the trip So I think he wasn't tired yet Yeah, he had to take a he went to sit down a few times He sat down next to me when I was playing guitar and I sat on the arm and played him night movies Working with him He sat down next to me when I was playing guitar and I sat on the arm and played him night movies Oh Go That place is Terribly anti-climactic though

It just it's it's it's cool. Now. I think you think it was a special exhibit, but you go up to a Couple things from pink Floyd's the wall upstairs, which is a place where you can sit down and have a drink literally now You just drink under the wall. It's it's not the wall. No, it's not pieces from the stage said or anything It's just a display with it. I think the the original Teacher the original teacher blow up thing, like the blow up from the blank thing is over it. I think that's real. I don't know, pink Floyd that well. But it's just, and then you just go back down. It's very underwhelming. Yeah, it's very boring. It's a lot of escalators. It's just more escalators than anything. Oh, we should

look for that lady who, because I always skipped through like the early, you know, like the, the windixies and all those kind of like bands and stuff of banjos and the old dress and stuff. Like, let belly and like, yeah, but no, not even, no, not even that like, just like, like, like, said, where it goes like the Sam cook and all that stuff. Like, sun records and all that, like Elvis and,

but I was, we should have seen they had that girl, what's cool, they were playing her on a stern thoggy again the other day what's the the lady who directed dirty she's like dirty old jazz like if you suck all my pussy I'll suck up on you'll do it no real yeah No, you're really yeah, bragden What's her name something bragden black lady, right? Yeah, okay, okay, dude I'm just trying to get it is you're bogey, but okay, but okay trying to paint a picture whoa If you suck up on my pussy Shut up I got something between my legs on make a dead man come all Her and I have the same teeth baby won't you

Baby won't you shit on my tits? Baby won't you give me a pearl jam necklace? Lucille Bogey Till the cows come home that's her jam. Oh wait, yeah, shave him dries also a good one shave him dry If you suck up on my pussy, I'll suck up on your beak. I got a mane, I love, I got a mane, I like. Every time I fuck your men, I give them the dog on clems. Oh, you're crazy for days.

You're on the dog on my neck. She's carrying your A. Ha ha ha. Mmm. That's the kind of pussy that they really like. Wow. It comes. I told them I got a good cock.

Oh, it was. And it's got both damn good names. It is a song. Rough cock, rough cock, tough cock, cock without a bone. You can tough, tough, tough, cock without a bone. You can fuck my cock, stuff my cock, believe my cock alone. Oh, baby. Honey, I did all night long. Dude, this is historic.

You can't fuck my cock, stuff my cock, baby, until the cow comes home. There was him really in the way. He's right here You know both of my men I've done it again Have I done it again where I've made something up in my head that I think will be really funny Go to shave them dry great big dick like a baseball bat. She said I don't know I need to know that this is a real thing I heard Shave him dry Shame dry

Shame dry here we go it's happening right now Fuck I'm gonna give this one more one more baby I want you to shave This is important for sure 100% Turn it off. No If you slug up on my pussy Is this legit? It's real? Yeah, cuz you know cuz you know I think Wasn't like jazz and shit like they used to just play songs wow Like you got the length of a song like with a chick at a like burlesque house

Or like if you went to a house and bang to chick you got to till the song ended and I think that's That's kind of where it started so maybe this was like her that's so fucking cool. I got nipple though my titties Bush on my clear she's sitting there going hang on. What do you think of this line? I let a man fuck me till I take a shit I got no I really like this shit on a maven on my pussy. Oh man, I love it. Damn man. I like her. I never heard of her.

I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her.

I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I never heard of her. I About grinding baby all night long And I should do it to you honey Some hill the cow come home God damn huh

Shave him dry too come on down it. Oh, no, it's the same song. I wonder what shave him dry. What does that mean shave him dry dry shave? Dude, you're such a you're such a prude dry shave Huh, you're such a prude. You don't know shave him dry. No shaving cream. No dude. You know what it means You know think about it. I know idea shave him dry. I know it's what I'm gonna what's going on back slap my pancake to the out give your butt a sniff It's John mayor stolen building I got some weird Pull my pussy John give you a b minor slug up on yo dick take it for a walk with me. Yeah bring it around the block Doon good doon good doon doon doon doon doon doon doon please do me a favor this me. Yeah, bring it around the block. Good noon, good noon, good noon, good noon, good noon. Dude, please, do me a favor this weekend.

Yeah. Your home? Uh, yeah. This weekend? Yeah. I've shows New York show. Please watch Mother of Love God, the whole thing. Do you watch the third part?

Yeah. Dude, this, it's a pretty insane story. I'll give you a little touch. I'm gonna wait for Bobby to come back and watch it before we really break it down, but it's batshit crazy. It's better chick it was like a cute chick in the 90s and then decided one day to leave everybody in her family and just go be a cult leader and she did it very successfully at least for what they needed. They just had it to batshit cult story like nothing too new or not either except for she decided at one point

Like you know colloidal silver is No, they say it's got look at what it is actually Christine. Where where can I where is she America? Oh, yeah I don't know if this was Canada. This is very American. Okay. Colorado All those places yeah, okay. She started Colorado though. Yeah. Yeah. Not a weirdo's there. Oh yeah.

And a lot of people who are looking for a weirdo to follow. Hell yeah. Because you know, it's funny. These for the first time I've ever seen in a cult show, the cultists seem so normal as except for the fact that they're a die hard by this cult. Does that make sense? Like several of there's definitely dippy people in that cult for sure. You watched it Lou right? I assume yeah, yeah, there's definitely dippy people in the cult

But there's also people in there like they're like all right So mother is gonna ascend today. She believes there's so much good in this Mikey She believes her angels her angels who she has direct contact with I've never seen a angel watch it. Her angels, who she has direct contact with. Uh-huh. Kristen, you gotta bring up the picture. She has a board of all, like a poster board, that she's made that's there basically, you know,

that's there, Christ on the cross. The Galactic's. The Galactic's, it's her angels. It's her angels, but the Galactic's, when you see who they are, it's an interesting group. Uh, the 86 New York Mets. Oh, I wish. Maybe.

Maybe one of them. Maybe one of them, because I'll tell you who is the main, the hauncho. There's two head haunchos on either side of her. One on either side of her. One's a drawing of some guy I've never heard of. The other one, Robin Williams. Are you serious?

Robin Williams is her good brain. And it's not even the wackiest of what's on the board of the other angels. Was it Fisher King Robin Williams? But good and it's not even the wackiest of what's on the board of the other angels Was it Fisher Kang Robin Williams? But they'll comment. They'll be like no it's more from orc Rob Williams but they they literally She'll say things like Robin told me you're gaining weight Like Robin That's her board of look of angels Robin Williams a drawing of some guy the crocodile huntercodile Hunter, Michael Jackson Whitney Houston, David

Bowie, Gene Wilder, John Denver, Chris Farley, Chris Farley, two-pock, George Michael, George Burns, um, Lily, Mr. Rogers, Carol Burnett, is that Bob Marley down there in the very bottom? Yes, Bob Marley is also in there Jim Krochi. Jim Krochi. Christopher Reeve Christopher Reeve. Is that is that Frank Zappa Walter Becker? Maybe right below next to George Michael South of David Bowie. Maybe two-pock. I mean is that Larry David under her ring finger? Let me see it possibly could be Larry David. I don't know Nes summer. Where underneath her pinky? Um, who is that? Oh, no, it's Carbona. Wait, I saw

Carbona's under her pink. That's her Jonathan Winters. Jonathan Winters. And then, and then, oh, look at, uh, she loves comedy. Uh, what's it called? Um, Crockett, the Hunter. Gene Wilder. Oh, there's a picture of all You see all oh Regis made the cut Jerry Lewis was a Trump Salvador dolly Trump John Ritter is Trump the only alive Rogers no Tom Cruise is alive. There's really no rhyme or reason I'm trying me off a lot of these people are a lot of me and I'm like yeah Tom Cruise where's Tom Cruise right here? That's what I mean. I'm like, yeah, Tom Cruise. Where's Tom Cruise? Right here.

That's Tom Cruise. That's for Reese. By the way, uh, Swazie, Christine, they do look Walt Disney. Swazie, Prince John Candy, Aretha Franklin, Jerry Lewis, Regis Philville. The same Richard Pryor. That's Jim Henson, Henson and Kermit. He's got your, she's got your boy Kermie in there. I did not know that Kermit made the cut.

Yeah. He's got your boy Kermi in there. I did not know that Kermit made the cut. This is like the poor man's sergeant peppers. And then another drawing of somebody, Julia Child also. Yeah, everyone's dead. Hey, who's that with the pipe? Is that a young Rodney Dangerfield? Next to Trump? Yes.

It's probably Dangerfield also. Creepy looking. Buddy, the whole thing is so bad shit. But she gets people to follow her. And by the way, apparently, they still do streams. But what they do is the whole documentary essentially is what, and you know this from the beginning, because they show it, and you can't believe,

you have to see what slowly happens to her to believe what you see in the very first minute of the documentary. They show you coming in, coming in to finding her dead body on a bed. But she takes this colloidal silver, she stars her stuff, she's lunatic, she just literally needs medication. But they all follow her saying she's God and they do drugs and then she's mean and she snaps and she's anorexic and she's all this shit and she starts taking this colloidal silver. Now it's funny is the people in her cult

that do their spot cast is live stream. When they're talking, they go, oh, FDA banned colloidal silver because they don't want you to know all those things. They say it turns you blue and whatever. It turns your skin blue and like shut up. Okay, like, and like they're, they're talking about like they're almost reasonable.

Yeah, yeah. And then the last episode and like a half by the end of the show, she's blue like she's blue is Jacob shirt. It's crazy. Look, I can't believe this happens. It looks like David Lynch characters. I just sort of go to the assault. Buddy is a blueberry for a daughter. They hold on to her dead body for way too long. And then wanted to go to the salt. Buddy is- Wait, he's got a blueberry for a daughter.

They hold onto her dead body for way too long. And then they hang out with her body just like, Jamie dude the guy, who you will love when you watch this. She's called mother is the guy- Father. Father. That's her? Yeah.

Oh, she's kind of cute. She was kind of cute at a time. Oh, she became a blueberry, yeah. I got a blueberry for a daughter. That's what she looked like. Oh fucking crazy What a weirdo and she just basically She just starved herself and took a poison to kill herself dramatically so everyone would like you know what she ended up looking like yeah, yeah, I

stood Do it to me all night Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You know did you heard it Mike exists. It's in the song somewhere. It was in there. Yeah, totally the minute we went to commercial Faction talk series XM103 everybody We have a great guest in the studio right now very excited to have him here. He's not usually in New York So this is a very very nice treat for me Living out in Vegas now correct. Yes living in Vegas very very cool everybody. He is a legendary voice performer From the Howard Stern show, hilarious comedian, actor, and old-time friend of mine, long, long, long, long, five, known as Sky, 20 years at least.

At least. 20, 25 years, yes. I'm 25 years in comedy next year. I met you about two years in. So probably about 20 years. It is the hilarious Craig Gash joining us everybody. about 20 years, it is the hilarious. Craig Gass joining us, everybody. It's so crazy to look back on memories from back then and how broke we were. I was starting to make some money. You had some popcorn on the road a little bit because of the stern was going big.

I was starting to make money. Got me on a couple TV shows and I was starting to make money. But I remember we were all still relatively broken. Oh yeah. And I remember a couple of times that I thought, I don't relatively broken. Oh, yeah. And I remember a couple of times that I thought, I don't know why Jay's doing that. He could just say, like when we would come from Queens or wherever

you guys were living at, and you'd be like, man, I don't think I'm gonna do the LIE this time. I would see if I can get around this way. You just go on the free bridge. Yeah, I'm sitting on the nice free bridge, yeah. And I'd go, yeah, like, you know, and you go, yeah, I think I'm just gonna try this and I'd be go, yeah, like, you know, and you go, yeah, I think I'm just gonna try this.

And I'd be like, yeah, whatever, you know. It's free, dude, like do it, whatever. I just, I remember you would like vocalize it. Oh, yeah. You vocalize it, bro. Boy did I hate being broke once or twice. Yeah. And man, we even told me that too.

You're like, get off, why go exit 17 when you can go 18 and take the you know Harlem of the Drive-on to go back to Connecticut and shit. And when you know how to get stuff for free, it's kind of hard to go back to our paying for it. Yeah, when you know how to save money on the road, do you do that? Do you ever like in moments like like you know you can get something for free and you'll you'll take something for free rather than pay for it. No, not anymore. I've always think I've gotten a lot of things for free that sucked.

So like, I usually do that. I do stuff just like tattoo. Not none of my tattoos. The guy does my tattoos, manny, who I don't want anyone to get a twist, he's the skank. He's the skankfest tattoo artist now, man guy does my tattoo. He's awesome artist. But there was a time in my life where I was like, I'll take any free tattoo

and because I got some shitty tattoos. Really? Yeah, yeah. So what type of free shit on the road would you get? You talking like food, you talking hotels, you talking to anything? Craig was good at like, he was a good fanat, he was very good, very outgoing personality.

So Craig was good to like like use like the radio and whatever to kind of like get a nice thing like that. They want us to come to this restaurant and stuff like that. I've gotten like, you know where I learned that was when I was a kid and I would hang out with famous rock bands. I was shocked at how many rock bands would be like, yeah, let's go to the movies, but we'll just tell them we're coming.

Yeah. And then say, hey, you want some tickets to our concert? And what we have, man, we'll get everybody in the movie theater, and they'll be like, no way. And then Tesla shows up at the movie theater, and then they get a whole bunch of, you know, get popcorn and snacks for everybody. And they got room in the back of the arena

for 10 people, like, yeah, come on in. And they would trade out everything. And I was like, this is mind blowing. Like you're just, you're saving so much money on the room. And then also getting extra bodies in the room who are then gonna buy merch and whatever. So yeah, I mean, you learn that you can actually, that it's worth something to be able to get people

on the show. So yeah. Craig, Craig brought to the Boston Comedy Club and that still existed down in the West Village. It was man, some couple of cool ones. They were just like, like, Craig's, like at that point, like your level of like who you knew and music was just so my, we, it was right in my wheelhouse of the first bands that I was like, I like this band.

This is something to do with my parents or hearing it from somebody else. And it was like one time Craig walked in and he goes yeah he goes you know the boss is like I'm gonna try to go on next to my can because my friend Jeff's got to get out of here and you look up you're like is that Jeff LeBarr from Cinderella? Yeah and I'm like that's fucking crazy dude. That's bad shit crazy. In fact, the only time I will say Craig, one of the few people, you caught in the sweet spot when Howard Stern was first date in Beth. And got them, I came as they were leaving,

but I didn't see them leave Howard in Beth. We're walking out of the Boston comedy club and I was like, well, fucking way. Wow, that was the first day I ever sat in with Howard sitting next to him. And he was like, were you at tonight? And I was like, oh, I'm at this club. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna come down.

And he showed up. And I remember as he was walking out, Rich Vos had just got on stage and Rich was trying to roast him as he walked out. And he's like, yeah, cool. Like, he was like, you know? But yeah, I remember bringing in, there was actually a friend that I made like one guy made

a comment to me that I valued so much that whenever I'm in a creative spot where I need honest opinions, I call him. It was Oz Fest was in town with a day off and a bunch of the bands came to watch me at Boston comedy club. And when you walked in in the club, there was a table that was like, you know, with one band table with another band table, another band. And for whatever reason, I fucking ate it that night. And the reason why is because. Well, they're not always great audiences also. Yeah. I didn't that situation. I think I tried to do something in the beginning that I thought like, oh, well, these tables

are going to love this. And it fucking went out. Well, like Tony contains crackhead ass. Whoa. Whoa, you all like her. And I think I see her. Oh, shit. She's that on the bus, yeah.

Well, I started. I started with a giant misstep. And then my next thing was a misstep. Then my next thing was a misstep that my next thing was a misstep and then I Ozzie's gay And then I just went into the material that I knew would work and at that point I felt like I lost them so much It was just it was heavy lifting for the rest of the set. I get off stage I walked by the seven dust table and I know I just bombed I know it and I walked of the seven dust table

I was like hey guys sorry about that. They're like no you were awesome And I was like nah and I go to the disturbed table and I go hey guys Sorry about that and they're like dude that was fucking no you were killer and I go yeah And then I was do you mean it he went wow Hey look me in the eyes Hey, look me in the eyes. Waa-a-a. Did I mean it? I swear on my waa-a-a.

Then I go to a table that has the guys from system of it down and I go, I go, hey guys, sorry about that. And the drummer stood up and he goes, he goes, hey man, let's go outside. And I go, what? And he goes, come here, follow me. We walk outside, he turns around and he he goes you want to know why you sucked I'll take exactly why you suck tonight first of all what's with the fucking new jokes? What's this shit? And he goes and everyone here loves your impressions

What the fuck you didn't do any impression? I go yeah, you're right and he fucking dress me down and he Happened to hit everything I knew was wrong with my set so now if I do like a roast and I'm trying to figure out if this material's gonna work or not. You go wake up, make sure you do all your good stuff. Cause of, don't try to do that with new shit. New shit. Always just stick around and do the A stuff.

A stuff. Even if you want to. Even if it disturbs any audience, you want to do it. You know what I'm saying? Don't forget the top. I don't think I trust my new, unfinished joke ideas. I saved the new stuff for the open mind.

Save the new stuff for the open mind. I Cheer up just do your fucking issue Just do the father fucking impressions oh Dude I told you they've Vinnie Paul and his Some people came out to see me right after I did mayhem fest one year in Kansas City. And I was like, so I was, I mean, I don't remember having a bad sepul whatever it was when I got off. They were like, oh, he left like a long time ago. Oh, no, shit. Oh, yeah. He left like a while ago. Oh, that's it. It means so much to us as comics. Oh, yeah, for sure. It does. To us as comics like Jay is a rare guy who's also performed with huge bands that I think

for me personally, there's some dumb thing where I want to be one of the guys. And that's why I want to do those shows. I want to be one of the guys, even though those gigs are the absolute worst gigs you could possibly do as a stand-up comedian and Jay is the only guy I know who has the balls to actually go out there and say I'm a stand-up comic. Here's my jokes I I fucking lied the audience I've I've opened for Metallica and system I do stuff with the

Quarantine from Metallica here at the Bowrie at the Bowrie ballroom and I walked out on stage and said good evening My name is Craig. I am Metallica's tour manager. Everyone's like, what? And I go, the band has some very important announcements. Yeah. And every announcement was super cool, but total bullshit, just like you get them to listen. And I was like, you may have heard some rumors.

And it's true. Metallica is recording our first ever live album right here. That's right. That's right. So I need your attention. I need your attention. There's a proper way to yell on a live album. So we need to rehearse this and they follow every stupid instruction. I give them fill in some jokes and I know Jim Forrantine once told me that when he opens up for bands, he'll always do a few minutes and then if it's not if it's not going well, he'll go like, hey, who wants some t-shirts? Yeah, and he's always, and he has younger girls like on the side of the stage.

I have younger girls out too. Yeah, well the younger girls were fun because you could bring there's like ten of them. So I'd bring them up on the stage and I would just like roast them on, you know what I mean? So I was like, it's a goofy ugly rock audience to him. Like smoking hot girls who couldn't give two fucks about the music. They're there for a gig. A model gig. She's getting them up there and just tell these guys why they don't want to fuck them.

Yeah. This one's going to talk to you about her dancing dreams all night. You don't want to deal with that shit. This one's going to keep you in the mirror at herself. You know me and Craig, one of my favorite, just dancing dreams all night. You don't want to deal with that shit. This was gonna keep you in the mirror at herself. You and me and Craig, one of my favorite, just early comedy like night stories. Again, where it's like a great idea going punk. Like Craig does a killer impression.

Actually, let me ask you this first. Are you in town to go to the last kiss show ever? Not only am I going to the last two kiss shows. You're on the both? I'm going to both. And then I'm also, the reason why I came into the studio was to tell you that the night before and the night after the final shows from Kiss,

I am doing a couple of shows at the comic strip where I'm just making fun of Kiss for an hour. The whole show beginning to end, it's just jokes and stories about Kiss. With love, because I've developed a relationship with the guys. Are they coming? I know people that work with them are coming. I did this two other times, Austin Tech.

I'm trying to stay healthy too. Seattle. And you know what to do now. And their crew has come out. Their production people have come out. Some of their management. I know a lot of other musicians are coming out. Yes.

And they have their own stories too. I'm not allowed to comment strip. You're not? Still? It's fine. Really? It's out. No. And they have their own stories too. I'm not allowed to comment on the strip. You're not? Still? It's fine. Really? It's okay. Wow.

Yeah. But yeah, it's all stories about KISS, because you know, that's awesome. That's awesome. Down the hall with Howard, I would do an impression of, I do impressions, but the impression I did at Gene Simmons was behind this premise of every time we'd have a music guest in the studio, I would constantly interrupt a music guest as Gene Simmons and try to sell them shitty kiss

products. Yeah. Yeah. That was silly. And it was silly and funny. Well, it was great. But can I say that leads into one of my, uh, say or nights, bum go on.

Um, me, Christine, uh, Bobby, my daughter and, uh, Bobby son are going to go Saturday. Saturday? The final show every, uh, I'm excited. It's good. We in Christine saw him for the first time that long though. They have something planned at the very, very end of the show. Yeah. That is gonna be really unique. And I'll be honest, I don't even know exactly what it is.

I just know they spend a lot of time working on this thing. They're gonna end the show with. So. Yeah. But mass suicide. Yeah. They're gonna end the show with. So yeah, but mass suicide. Yeah, they're gonna shoot the star child out of a cannon. And they're gonna pull out Tommy guns and just take out the fucking pit. But you were saying one of your earliest memories was. So it was me of comedy was me and Craig. And Craig included me in this because Craig also knew from the time we met how much I

loved I met Craig just like in comedy. And like you were starting to do the voices a little bit on on Stern and stuff so it was like kind of like a fresh thing Craig was still like but he was just getting in with that it was going over you were on pretty regularly at this point like calling him at voices and they they pitched an idea to the each channel Craig dresses up full gene Simmons regalia the whole demon makeup and the whole thing and because he does a great impression we go try to get into the MTV Awards. I forgot about that.

Oh no shit. The MTV Music Awards. Yeah. They go, yeah we'll do it. And Craig goes, oh my buddy Jay is another comedian. He'll be like my like assistant like a, you know my point guy or whatever my security. That's what it was. Security.

I was going to be your security guy. I fucking had a fat shirt that said security from big and tall already. Perfect. So I just wore that. Perfect. Perfect. And we pulled right up to security at the video music. We were shut down so immediately. So there was no footage there.

We pulled up in a car and they go we have Gene Simmons Yes, get back goes they were like hey, and Gene Simmons They don't know the list to be here and they were okay. I guys you know what are we gonna do? We gave it a shot like it was so fast, but I remember a small detail that's security looked in and laughed Yeah, yeah, yeah, because we were in a Toyota Corolla I'm fully dressed as Gene Simmons a Gene Simmons of his outfit and the back seat squeezed in. And there's a camera guy who's just there. Who's just looks like a pot head, like, killing all things. I think Doug Goodsty may have been with us.

And then it was like, well, we got to do something with this footage. And what we just did next, it was like, it just wasn't really the bit was kind of done, but they needed something. So we went to the now gone that's found out this one went away recently nice guy eddies was a bar on house and and I think Alan yeah I want to say and we went there with that's where they had kissed painted on the wall like it was a big thing the big mural of kiss was on the side of the wall of this bar and And we just went in and sat at a table and just ordered like, bar food and drinks.

I just sat there and ate it. Just he was in full makeup, we just didn't bother anybody, no one really bothered, but people were like, is that it? And they were like, yeah, wow.

He's got to go, he was about to eat once in a while and full demon gear. I mean, Craig was seven and a half feet tall. It was like, he was wearing the fucking, they got him a good outfit. Yeah, they got him a good outfit. It was all stern budget.

So they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're no expecting. And then the use makeup artist, yeah. And then they used it again by just, they had Gene Simmons coming in and Craig which is sitting in the room in the full makeup, aren't you? And Gene Simmons didn't love it at the time. Yeah, because I walked in the, because we had,

we had already had the confrontation a month earlier where Gene said, we didn't know. When I started doing the Gene Simmons thing and I was interrupting people as Gene Simmons and saying, this is Gene Simmons from Kiss. And I just want to tell you that right now at kissonline.com, you've just reminded me we have a kiss toilet.

What's the difference between a regular toilet and a kiss toilet? Our toilet is a pay toilet. You sit down, you put in a quarter and you do your business while you listen to Duce. And it was just stupid shit like that. And we didn't know at the time the real Gene Simmons, we found out later, started getting hate mail because of this shit I was saying to people on the Howard Stern show.

So Gene Simmons showed up one day. He just showed up and Gary came in and said, hey, so we got a problem. So Gene Simmons from Kest just walked in the building. He wants to be the fuck out of Craig right now. And he came in, we had a funny segment, and then he came back as a guest, and I pitched the idea,

wouldn't be funny if I showed up, dressed as Gene Simmons, and I actually walked in and said, I'm the real Gene Simmons. And you are an imposter, and I actually walked in and said, I'm the real Gene Simmons and you are an impostor. And I can prove it because I got a bunch of cheap shit. I want to sell you and I had a bag full of shit that we had written kiss logos on. I remember a lunch box was like a new kid in the block.

One box took out his Sharpie and just wrote kiss. That's 50 bucks now. Yeah. And then you start getting contacted by people that have you ever made jokes about somebody and the people affiliated with that organization are close to those people are like, hey man, I actually work with them

and here's some more stories, do you ever get? No, I told the world that the Barry Stock, the guitar bass player from 3A's Grace, wife's a fat pig, but I just tried to get him to fight me whenever he sees me. Why would have between these guys? And then his drummer reached out. Really?

His drummer reached out to give you stories or to get mad at him? No, no, no. He was like, it was weird. He caught up first. This thing was a little bit like, yo, dude, you got a problem with the guy. I'm like, yeah. I was like, yeah, I do reflect on it. I sit on the show, I said, because someone's like,

you shouldn't do the family, so I'm like, yeah, I guess you're right. But fuck him, whatever. What happened with the guy from three days, great. That's the thing. That's only a year ago on the cruise ship, and he threw like, fucking wine on the Legion of Skanks when we were doing it. But of course, it only hit me. And there was like a whole thing on ship rocks.

Yeah, holy shit. Whole ordeal. Wow, just because it was in the middle of an interview? No, it was. He just walked by the table. He walked by, he told us to shut up. No one cares about our podcast, which was a weird thing for a performer to do. And we were like, fuck you, dude.

Fuck off. And they gave me through wine. That is, it only hit me. He was aiming for Lewis. It only hit me. That is a tale is always time, my friend. That is a tale is old and time. So you got

like someone who was in the Gene Simmons camp, gotten touched with you and said, here's more meat for the bones. For the bones fucking, it was like, a Corey Selman's camp also hates us and wants us to stop everything we do. Really? Correct. I imagine there's a lot of people like that. I got to tell you my, my friends are going to be so psychos to this day, the product that he, my friend and I still quote is when you said you were the Kiss Cancer Center. I think that's the one that actually upsets Suzanne. To throw them nuts. Suzanne Summers was in the studio and she was telling

the story about how she was fighting cancer. And she was getting ahead of it. And at the very end of the thing I said, Suzanne, this is Gene Simmons from Kiss. And I want to tell you, I am so moved by your story at such a story that's, it's so inspirational that we would like to offer you a kiss lunch pal for 49.95. If you go to giz on line.com, we'll give you the five cent discount and Suzanne apparently lived in the neighborhood

where Jean lived and she went to his house and knocked on his door and said, you're an asshole, why would you do that? In the middle of my appearance and he said, it wasn't me, it's a guy, not me. I don't know. But the people who started contacting me were people who worked with KISS. Hey, I got a story for you.

Did I ever tell you that the love relationship advice that Jean gave to the guy who was watching him hook up with women every night? Jean, according to this guy, was hooked up. This before he got married, he hooks up with Miss America according to this guy that went to the kiss. It was the reigning Miss America of that year Gene Simmons hooks up with her. The whole crew is like holy shit. The next night Gene hooks up with a whore. A girl that is such a dirty like such a trashy girl that even the guys in the road crew are like nice Jesus. What the fuck? The next night they have a day off in a town that's so small that the band and the road crew are staying in the same hotel. And this guy tells me from his point of view,

he goes, I was in the lobby at the hotel. I was at the bar having a drink when Gene Simmons started walking through the lobby and he's dragging this enormous girl with him through the lobby and they get in the elevator. He turns around, pushes the button to his floor and that's when he sees me. He makes eye contact and goes, folds his arms. Oh yeah. Bing! And he said the next day it sound check, he walked up to him and he goes, Gene, hey buddy, did you hook up with that girl last night? And Gene Simmons goes, of course. Because Gene didn't you hook up with Miss America

any the night and he goes, Steve, listen to me, okay? I'm gonna give you some valuable advice. You can't have filet manione every night. Sometimes you gotta go to McDonald's. It's the worst fucking love advice I've ever heard. Sometimes. Yeah, so fucking rude.

Craig used to, Craig used to smart move too before he was selling tickets at all. He'd go on the radio at local radio places, he'd go, if I can go on local radio I can get people and he would just go and say all these people were going to be here and he would just do the impression of them and people would like fucking. Yeah. And one point didn't, I think someone think someone was a Gary or something that got pissed off he's like people are getting because we were reaching out to Gary Delabata being like, why do people think I'm gonna be in St. Louis tonight at the fucking whatever comedy club.

I don't think Gary ever got mad. Not mad me mad on me and mad like really furious but it was like people were reaching out to him going like, I thought you were gonna be at the show tonight. It started out where I would come on as a celebrity promoting the show. And then I would be a couple of celebrities. And then I realized I could talk as like four or five, six celebrities at the same time, as long as you keep talking. So it would be Tracy Morgan, Tom Arnold, Adam Sandler,

Christopher Wacken, Al Pacino, Alec Baldwin are all in the studio and the premise is ridiculous and they're all looking at it. And still some people would be like, and people would be like, where's Alec Baldwin? Dude, people would come to the show.

Well, they'd all say, we're not performing, but we're going to see Chris at the Chuckle Hut and areas that they're all at like 99 Rock WPLR. They're like, they're all at once, they're all new. They're amazing. Yeah, and the scooter buzz in the morning. And everyone has a reason for being there. Like Tom Arnold is like, I'm just here for a,

I've got it to a Dark Codics Adatabus Beatty in the crowd. So we're gonna be doing a 12 step beating after the comedy show at the Chuckle Hut. And then Tracy Morgan would be like, I'm gonna film a porno in the parking lot. I'm gonna be filming, you wanna go see a comedy show at the Chuckle Hut, and then Tracy Morgan would be like, I'm gonna film a porno in the parking lot. I'm gonna be filming, you wanna go see a comedy show? Go inside the club. You wanna be in a movie called Men in Back?

Yeah. Come out to the White Handy van in the parking lot. Speak about Tracy. Did you watch Tracy's Dark Side of Comedy? I did it. Episode, it's just, I mean, it's the story. No, there's nothing really different about it on Tracy's. That's great.

Yeah, but it leads up to that obviously, and it goes past, but man, I didn't really state up with Tracy's like work beyond that. I'm just happy he's okay in working again at all. But I mean, Tracy went from like the, you wiped that dude who off your curtains and you're your fuck a baby in the ass, right? In front of her mama.

Yeah. I slapped your daddy with my dick and get your mama pregnant with all that shit. Yeah. Now it shows him on Oprah. He's like, making people laugh is how I got myself and made it up and bullied any moment. He's like crying and stuff. Now you go, whoa, dude, what? He was always crying though. He was all dude. No, not like this, man. I don't know. He's not doing the other stuff. I mean, they really compile it in this guy episode of the thing, but they show us

5,000 TV appearances where the news people are like, okay, we gotta go. I'm about to pull my dick out on the web. Yeah. Whoa. All right, all right, astronaut Jones, come down. See, I remember Tracy always being that guy that would get naked and get emotional. And I remember when I when I first I was living in LA when I first got out there

I didn't know anybody yet and someone said dude dude. There's a it was supposed to be a comedians birthday party at this bar I go to the bar and the only other comedian there was Tracy Morgan and Tracy can go either way. Like I was just huge things. Bob a cute. Yeah. You think. And so I I end up on a patio at this place just hanging out with some friends and somebody ran out and said, dude, Tracy Morgan's taking his clothes off, doing karaoke. And I walk back inside and Tracy Morgan is on the microphone and he's got his shirt off and he's crying and singing. We are the champion, my friend, and we'll keep on fighting. And then at some point he goes, wait, stop the music.

Stop the music, I want to say something. I want to say something and the guy running the karaoke goes finish it song Get the fuck out the same goes That's fucked up And then he walked away. What was that what did he want to say like what was this? Yeah, I think he's a little emotionally unstable. It's not me strikes me. I was just emotional He's sweet. I remember one time. He He's such a emotional. Yeah, he's sweet. I remember one time, but he's always been super sweet. Oh, he's sweet.

He's like a great guy. He's kind, always funny. And honestly, I think he's fucking genius. His, he talks in, he kind of talks in like, in circles, but I think it makes a lot of sense. Like, he just,

I think he's just ahead of the curve, and he just talks in such an unusual way that I think people are like, what's that guys deal, man? I remember one time standing in the hallway at the seller and I had to light someone and he was between me and the light and he was just, comedy man, like he was just going on and on about how this is what it's like. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I gotta, I gotta light this guy.

Yeah, I'm like, you just would not stop talking. Everyone's like, why not? Well, light anyway. Who's it why don't you have light anyway? Who's to tell you when you're done comedy? There's so many great stories about that guy. I just remember whenever he would hang out, like back when he was just doing SNL. I remember like if we were hanging out

at Boston Comedy Club, he, if he was around in a social situation, there's always one comedian that would go, you ever tried to talk to that guy? That's always some guy who was like, I don't know what that guy is. Well, it's one of my favorite things ever. I said, and Christine loves this, because it's true. He came up with something happen.

I don't know where he saw me that was like, good, I don't maybe came down when I was like headlining a Caroline's or something and just happened to see that I was there. Wasn't like he came to see me. And but whenever was he saw me, he was like, man, Jay, look at you now, man. I remember when you came to me when you first came New York, show him up on my doorstep being Tracy, help me out, help me out. Look at you, man. Look what you at now. And I was just like, I was like, yeah, dude, that's

fucking crazy, right? He goes, man, I knew it though when you came trace you trace you help me man Help me put me on man put me on look at you now dog. It's great beautiful And I was like yeah, and the person I was with was like you I think it was Christine was it you Christine was like Tracy helped you out and from the beginning I go I don't know what he always talk And he doesn't think I'm somebody else because he knows who I am He's just created a thing in his head. I'm like, no. In fact, because here's the thing, it's not to think somebody else because nobody did that.

Nobody showed up on his doorstep and went, Tracy, Tracy, get me on. I've never happened, Tracy. Two, I eat one step. One step. It shows you the history that you don't have together. Men, Bob is almost show step up. But me and your mom broke up because we didn't see out of our politically.

Yeah, I just say yes. I was going to my dad. That was crazy. That we put that card together though. That's right. What was like a thunderbird? A thunderbird together. To shoot your chain.

To put everything in all the parts. I couldn't find them parts forever. Even crazier is the, he knows that there is a comedian named Craig Gas who does an impression of him. And then when he sees me, he just thinks I'm a different person. I don't feel like it. He's gonna be like,

yeah, what's up, Craig? He won't say my name. He'll just be like, I have had people right in front of me go, hey, you know, Craig Gas does the impression of me, he goes, he's making a living, right? He's making a living. And then I'll be like, hey, you know, Greg Gas, does the impression of me goes, he's making a living, right? And then I'll be like, hey, what's up, Tracing?

And he'll be like, hey, that's my bobo, that's my bobo. Yeah, dude, I fucking love that guy, but yeah, dude, most of the people who... He always has a different take on something, too. I remember when I was like, talking to him, I talking about the stand one night, and I was like, yo, how nutty is it? Cause he was like, he was like, you and Kav,

you used to come up from Philly to get, you know, he remembered all that. And I was like, yeah, he goes, it's crazy, cause it's the first time he's getting ready to do the garden. I was like,

you get ready to do the fucking Madison Square Garden, dude, he goes, I know, right? And he just sounded down, I go, what's wrong, he goes,

I hate when I hate that stuff, cause only way to go is down now It's like he's always seen the negative But we're taking it right away. He's like oh the pinnacle moment now what you're like Tracy You never would have said that when I was sleeping on your couch 13 years Come on man. Come on man. Where's that guy who I came two years ago? Who gave me my You right you right I need to get back there again on that doorstep.

Were you showed up? Buh-boo. I just, how's your mom doing? She's still all right, though? I know she don't like me. Her eye working. I don't know if you ever talk to you in euphemisms. I remember the first time I met him,

I said, hey, I'm a standup comic. I saw him at CERNET LIVE and I was like, I just want you to know that my girlfriend, I think, hey, I'm a standup comic. I saw him at Cerdnet Live and I was like, I just want you to know that my girlfriend, I think, are the funniest guy in the show. And he was like, yeah, you a standup comic. And I go, yeah, what's what you doing on Friday? And I go, on what? And he goes, I'm Friday!

And I go, I don't know what I'm doing. You open up for me at the New York comedy club. And I was like, oh shit, are you serious? I had enough. This is like 1998, 1999. I was like, dude, I had, I planned my whole week around. I'm opening for Tracy Morgan this weekend. I do the show, it's crowds nice to me.

It was at the New York comedy club, I did on 25th or 26th, whatever it was. And then afterwards, he's at the bar and he goes, Craig, what's you drinking? And I was like, oh shit, can I get a corona? And he goes, yeah, how you like this? And I go, how do I like this club? And he goes, yeah, how you like this? And I go, how do I like this club? And he goes, no, how you like stand up comedy?

And I go, oh, I'm, I'm head over heels and love with it. And he goes, yeah, you gotta be like Bruce Lee in the Six-Fort Kik. And I go, what? And he goes, you don't know about Bruce Lee in the Six-Fort Kik? They say when Bruce Lee kick you, you go back six feet. That's why I want people like Tracy. How are you living?

I'm like, I'm six foot kicking it. I'm six foot kicking it. And then he got nose to nose with me. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I tell you what's interesting about him too, like watching. I got to watch some cool, not cool. It's interesting, kind of fascinating moments of him when I, I think maybe only once or twice, I used to open for a lot of people carolines was a cool thing I got in there they

like really worked me and Tracy was one of people I opened up for and it was at a time where he was they kept coming back to him like you know it's like like Rauron do do we're here I mean do keep all's in Ned and it was like all these people are showing up and he was like put him over and he's like telling them like to see them in the room right that they can come back after the show or something and him talking to me in the back about a real He was like it's this thing now like he's like all like I'm doing great like in the world of like Tina phase and whatever but he's like it's not like when this happens my deal with show here like this He goes all these guys come out and it's like if I don't

Make them have like a rock star a celebrity night. Like they go back and say I'm fucking corny and lost my hood and all this kind of stuff. It's like he was just in a weird place. He was like and these guys will come in though and fuck up. You know what I mean? He's like they don't know how to act and they're gonna come in here and fuck up and then everybody wants some money and he's asking for something and I'm like, and then I watched it all happen. No shit. The guys come in there and goes man I'm just until I can get my foot right, man. I can't really be working, which is like,

oh, hit me up on Tuesday. I'll be whatever up in Harlem. You hit me up or something. It's just like, Jesus. It seemed like a nightmare. I remember at one of those shows, he started to talk about growing up

that there was a guy in his neighborhood called Blind Clarence. And some, he was he was deaf some dude some dudes in the audience went yeah and he goes blind clearance and he had this amazing story about that he lived in the hood there was a blind guy named Clarence who got robbed on the elevator in their apartment building and then two three weeks later, and he starts to describe, and this is 100% true. And I know this from going up in a death family,

everyone in my family's death, he said, when you take away one of your senses, all your other senses become supernatural. And that's true. That is 100% true. My mom always had like a sense of smell that was greater than mine. You know, she always like- She's see through walls.

Yeah. So- I taste your lies. So Tracy describes that blind Benny is in, is in the elevator, and he smelled the scent of the guy who robbed him and just started waiting on a guy in the elevator. Because all your other senses become supernatural. So my brother-in-law's family, his whole family was deaf too.

Both your parents were? Both my parents and my sister. No shit. Wow dude. Yeah, none of the kids were except the parent. Which is how I ended up doing voices because I couldn't learn how to talk From my family I learned how to talk by watching TV and I copied all the voices I heard on TV So every great it was someone ever his new favorite show as he goes second grade

He took exclusively like captain Kirk I think a third guy he was ma'am and George pop it off. Yes. I'm gonna call your parents go ahead and try Hey Pop it up. Yes, I'm gonna call your parents go ahead and try Craig gas everybody's gonna be performing at the comic strip live in New York City this Thursday November 30th and Sunday December 3rd Make it in front of the band kiss and telling some old stories and fun shit That's before and after their final show is Friday and Saturday. Catch me. I'm going to be there on Saturday, me and Robert Kelly if come and say hi. It's a Madison Square Garden everybody, but Craig is going to be again at the comic strip live in New York City Thursday and Sunday this week. Check

it out. Craig is absolutely hilarious. Check out all of his tour dates and get tickets at GetGas, G-E-T-G- tickets at getgastgettgast.com. Mike Fenoya Special, don't let me down at youtube.com slash at Mike Fenoya. And New Year's A.E. He's going to be headlining comics, Mo. He can sun for tickets and tour dates. Go to Mikefenoya.com. I, well where's Bobby?

Let's get Bobby's stuff in there. Bobby's going to be in Daniel Beach, Florida, December 15th and 16th. Answer that. Fort Wayne, Indiana, for New Year's Eve Bobby's stuff in there. Bobby's going to be in Daniel Beach, Florida, December 15th and 16th, and to that Fort Wayne, Indiana for New Year's Eve one night two shows only Sarah Toga Springs of Wisconsin Bobby's coming back tomorrow. He's going to be on the show for the next two days. We're going live this Thursday Robert Kelly live.com Holiday show has already sold out and I am going to be in Houston with Mikey actually that is next weekend After that Providence Providence, Rhode Island, Pittsburgh Houston with Mikey actually that is next weekend can't wait after that

Providence Providence, Rhode Island Pittsburgh that's right home homestead It's called Pittsburgh for New Year's Eve I know though New Year's Eve weekend tickets and tour dates bigjcamy.com Hey everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you.

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