The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Over Zealous (w/ Ali Siddiq, Chris Cotton & Roy Wood Jr.)

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Ali Siddiq & Chris Cotton join the show, and it turns out he's wearing a wire. Jay and Christine share a Facetime mishap. Roy Wood Jr. discusses morning radio and being an extra on movie sets.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, it's Black Lou and it was a fun week on the Bond Fire. On Wednesday, Chris Cotton was a guest on the show. Ali Sadeeg joined in on the fun but didn't realize he was still wearing a mic from a TV interview that he had just come from, which led to Dan and Jay immediately accusing him of wearing a wire. After that, they had a big discussion about the realities of being a porn star. Enjoy! After that they had a big discussion about the realities of being a porn star. Enjoy. Kind of fucking fun hang today. Chris Cotton was with us for the first half.

And joining us a show favorite, sorry Chris, but Ollie's a show favorite. Ollie's the D hanging out. Chris, you're cool. Yeah, so we're gonna be like Chris Cotton. Anyways, this is the next one. Woo! We got the dude over here with this next classic. Chris, move real quick. Chris, can that Chris move real quick

This is what happens when you don't weigh too much press and you still have the last Showed that doesn't still on what show did you come from? Christian radio You've been wearing a wire? Raise your knees. He's been wearing a wire the whole time. Ollie comes in. Oh, we trusted you.

We had you on Lost Takes. We had you on Hive episode. He was asking questions. This is the treatment we did. He came in with you. Who's with my man? We had him booked. We had him booked.

He came in asking questions. He was like, what do you guys smoking marijuana here? If that's crazy and he's like and the people from Comedy Central are cool with that, they film you. You know, yeah, you know, you can't do drugs without me. Yeah. Chris, Chris, no, I think Chris is on the whole talk. Damn, your friend James is really bringing up two kilos of cocaine. So you really did live with a drug dealer. That's right. I just need you to, would you say that's right? We got them. We got them. Move, move. And I told you to do this to

myself. Like I just pulled up, I'm like, what is this in my back? Watch it. It's on. It's on. Watch it. Watching cops when they do the prostitution stings. How deep they have to go and conversation like watching the cop. when the cop is the prostitute, that's the best part, because they don't want to be too foul and what they're saying. So they're like, I'm kinda licking your penis. You guys like, what do I get? He's like, do I get to put my, boom, and say, boom,

she goes, that could all be talked about, I guess. If they don't know what to say. If someone in the other room, what are you talking like, your phone gets on the corner and she goes, I can't wait to touch your manhood for money. That hot money touching. Oh, when they're the customers, always the best to go, I don't normally do this thing, I'm nervous.

How does it normally work? And she's like, well, $20, she goes, and for that, for $20, I get to put my penis inside of your vagina Watching all those like hookers at the point all those documentaries It was just the funniest to me to pick up some of the lingo to be like let me get a half and a half for four Like 11 watching free weekends of HBO learn and hooker knowledge The suburbs just walk around me like do let me get let me get topped off of the fucking 20 Is that not crazy. Yeah, HBO will give you give your family this whole free month of HBO and your family

Don't know you man is to five fuck it. I find it quick We Jay and I talked about my mom would find out and then she would just put VHSs in and just hit record and then label what movies were on Oh, three cinematics. We can't man. I have to fucking not beat my dick for a week after that I mean this is a real Dude, you're a rapper, huh? I mean, this is a real thing. You're like, you see him, Max? Late night? When all of a sudden you'd go to it, it'd be like 55, and you'd go to 55 and work, and you'd

be like, oh, the fucker. What the fuck? And you'd go to like 56, you go, show time too. 57, you go, set him up, so you go. Oh, the playboy station was a part of cable at the time. Yeah, playboy TV. Yeah, playboy TV. But you know what it was? It was a very of cable at the time. Yeah playboy TV. Yeah, play the way you know what it was It was of it was a very minute amount of real sexual shit, and then it was them naked on cars

Yeah, like dancing you go Oh With the cinema act I've had two other brothers, so we literally had to like choose a night when we're gonna stay up on the weekend It was like you guys called chips What technically you had to kind of be like man man, I can't sleep, we'll just go downstairs. Anybody else coming down, but now I'll stay up. That's what I was saying, like, let me get the first shift. You get the third question from the right,

stay off it. I mean, because whoever's next. Yeah. We had Gene Simmons on the show, but his wife, Shannon Tweed, was like one of the first women that I saw in like those Citamax movies. She was in all of them.

But then you had fun. Playboy check. I had a VHS and I had a posit, a posit one time and she was riding the guy. They're always riding the guy like on his ribs. It's never where the dick is. They're always just like, it's like there's like a always a fog machine behind it. But dude, I saw I paused it at one point and you saw the cover up on the ladies vagina and I was like, and I had seen, I don't want to brag, but I had seen a real point.

Say what I was filmed anything ever, or especially when I filmed the first time I kissed someone on camera, all I think about with fuck scenes and softcore shit now, because hardcore porn you get, there's diving in, they're fucking. Yeah, but softcore shit where you really are trying to be like, into the story. But it's cool, it's cool, knows as cool as like you know, you don't want to go too far or you know You're not actually fucking yeah, but you're both naked. I'm like how the fuck could you just do?

It was having a bounce my dick off your time for a while and rub your muff on my fucking hip and then I guess we'll break I think we have to I think we have to take a union break He's looking to go all right you guys want me to just like pounder out real quick And then we'll and then we'll do a turnaround my coverage Yeah, yeah, that's always my favorite when the show porn cutting Where they go and the lights are down and they're like and they get like one or two more like yeah Then they stop that's what you do they were said and then they go and we're like, and then they get like one or two more like, yeah, then they stop. I told you, they were set.

And then they go, and we're up and rolling, you guys go, and he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just started that number there. Let me tell you something, it's not, point is not as easy as people think. No, that would never take. Like, it's an actual dude that's on there.

It's not, you don't have to be the main dude. You can be a stunt dude. You can be a stunt penis. You can be a stunt penis. Yeah, well you just stand there and when a dude can't get it up, you gotta go in and pound it today Tell you to come out. Is there a lady with a headset and a clipboard going you're on go go go Yeah, stop me then stop me then Yeah, if she does dust in your fingers, you're like, shit. All right Another crafty and a small bag of cheino's he's soft again. All right, okay, son of a bitch

So is he white vinegar? Yes, this son of a bitch says he's Italian Smoking he's smoking a cigarette done all right Someone someone give her the digital part I'll be over in a second. Let me fucking get the truck going. I call my dick the truck But it's great because you know it's like he's a dude trying out and people are watching him and he's doing his best but Okay, I said would I said would have porn star. Yeah, okay. All right. This is early on. I don't know if she was a star She was a point person

She is I don't know she's important start she had a real rough pass Dacey film I'll tell you this I wouldn't use your social She she literally she has movies her name is Hazel eyes. Oh, I know So fun I probably do too. Yeah, I definitely like to check me real light night size a I met her in street boy in Louisiana. Yep in. Wait for levels. And, and was crazy is how do we jump into a light, light weight, low relationship? It was like, it wasn't like a- Because it was it the sex was so good

and it was so amazing to you that you're like, I gotta keep, I gotta keep coming back. Did she tell me not to watch in the, in her movies? You know, I'm way past that. I know who you are. Like, I, I, you are waitressing right now. I'm the one to say it. Psst, eight to eight slide.

I said that. We went to Waffle House. No, we went to our hop in Bolshe city, which is right across, which is right across. That's where you take him. And I met another chick that was a porn star. We went out to pop it over. Okay.

Houston, she, I think she was engaged to Wesley Pipes. Really? We were just talking about Wesley Pipes. I brought him up. Yeah, I think she was engaged to Wesley Pipes. I thought that he had two guns. That's what we were talking about. I asked if he ever gets silly and doesn't say what he won.

So he does the robot car? It's only one. Wesley Pipes is the most it has to be the most Most ridiculous porn man. Yeah, he says the most I'm talking about I would him if I was a porn lady I'm like, yo, I don't want him. I think I could be with a chick who was was in porn. Yeah, I could but not currently in porn No, not current. You have to be out of the light. You had to be out of life. I can't be dating a bank robber Hey, everybody. This is DJ Lou. I hope you're enjoying the best of the week. We had a big loss tapes and I'm this next clip Jane Christine reveal a messy situation while face timing. I mean Christine got a story one day Maybe we'll ever tell one day about our only mishap of face time fucking, but I mean

I would tell you on the river. Now there's no way she wanted. I mean, I gonna tell me now there's no way she'll want me to I mean I would tell like it's the most funny thing I'm on if Jacob shares coming in his pants People got it it's worse than that. Oh wow Jacob. It's worse Buddy what you hit the camera with some spludge Did you hit the camera with some spludge? Girls can't. Girls can't come too quickly. Oh man, this is...

Wait, you know that's a teaser. Yeah, you guys are just, was it sweep sweep? Are we talking about the same thing? Yeah, we definitely were talking about the same thing. Why don't we find out? You wanna tell it? Come on! Yes!

Come on! Come on! Yes! Come on! Yes! Come on! Come on! Guys! It's been years and it has been so bad. It's been years we've had sex so much since so I still think you're hot. Hey!

This was not hot. This was not hot. What happened? Oh. Is that the same thing? We were... It's happening! It's happening! It's happening! This is crazy. I'll do it on the phone. I know it's interesting. Set the sale we were

This is great. I'll do the Interst of this Come on It's so gross. Yeah, so funny though you guys to side with Jay are you on the road? Yeah, okay decided a little do a little call in the Christine. Yeah, a little FaceTime and late night late night after the shows Yeah, we'll FaceTime in late night late night after the shows Late night, it wasn't no because I had to go to Daytime may was daytime okay, you're running around the hotel little chubbed up What yeah sure and we call and we're we're FaceTime

Stubating nobody's gonna ever want to fuck me ever again. This is the worst story. It's a hilarious story. So there was Christine had some toys involved that we had purchased. Sure. Wow. And whether it be vibrators and one of the things we had was the butt beads. Yeah, anal beads on the rubber string of the wherever. So as long as David Tele calls it, the devil's jump rope. The devil's jump rope. That's what David Tele calls it. The next your bead comes out or the missing bead. So I'm certainly whacking off for sure.

And then when Christine's getting ready to Reach the finish line. Yeah, she we're supposed to do it those rip it like a long This is a couple years ago of a couple years ago of technology on the face up So it's pretty grainy. Yeah, it's like a space transmission. Yes, it is a bit like a space. But I've now stopped jerking off because I go, man, it just seems like things happen there when she when she finished there. And then, uh, and but she's still in post come like, like, like, you know, like winding down. Yeah. That was awesome. And that was, and I go, like, like, you know, like winding down, that was awesome, and that was, and I go, hey, Christine, you,

no, I realized, you realize it right away. I realized what happened right away is it was not a clean pole. Yeah, she just cramped out a bunch of fucking shit and it just went and you see it, a spray shit. You polygrap, you polygrap, you polygrap, you put cocky to yourself. I literally have not you Zanel beads

She Ralph Stedman the fucking Just dripping it was a nightmare wait So when you when you whipped it were you like you like Indiana Jones that shit And then you're like laying there with Jane, like, ah, how? Oh, where did you notice it first? I mean, it like pulled out. And it's a weird thing because it's like,

you just came. So you're like, oh, it just came. And then you're like, shits everywhere. No, yeah, dude. Yeah. I'm like, oh my god, I came and shits everywhere. And I got it. I was like, ah!

I got it. You, how bad was the cleanup? I mean, it was pretty bad. Like luckily I think I'd like a blanket down or something so I mean, I immediately like, got rid of everything, put everything together to take it to the laundry and like disinfected the entire, so it was a clean, I'm pretty anal, so.

You guys would have had that. I see, that was your element ago, I'm pretty ain't all so You guys would have had to know your element ago. I'm pretty a Hey, everybody. This is DJ Lou welcome back to the best of the week We have another clip from the lost tapes Roy Wood Jr Stopped by to talk about the horrors of promoting on morning radio It's always interested and I take it all but a grain of salt because I did radio for 10 years I know what people I didn't like you exactly know what people that I love to have and show no other people that I Completely was I hope this person never comes in again. I'm sure. Oh, yeah, we've had plenty of but I mean it's like black comics

Little words that that's a separate Jibob and Tom I thought was like the most it felt like trying to impress me like Ungracious we've always said it was like trying to make your parents friends laugh. Yeah. Like they're like this and they're like, Tom will be, they're like, Mitchell will be down from his room in a second. You're like, hey, it's fucking winter, huh?

Pretty cold out. They kept playing the other people who agreed to do bits on the air. They kept playing the like, Oh yeah, they have calling regulars, yeah. No, no, not calling regulars. They were just playing pre-recorded like, like other comedians because I was like

Yeah, my bits are all like too dirty to do on the air here. I was like, but I do radio talk about whatever you guys want to talk about and They were like no First time on it was my first time. Yeah, they don't get hang on freestyle. Would you do really? I do like a college football court. They're like a college football coach. Like you run the play we draw it up Yeah, you don't fucking audible at the line There's a meeting goofy motherfucker. The is that Tom on the right? He said he would ask me benign questions and then start doing other shit like not engage in a real conversation with me I hope a bus goes through the station one day. I

Can't Have benefited immensely from the Bob and Tommy universe. Oh, they're huge following for sure. Helped a lot of great comics out. Yeah. Yeah, I will say that. Like on some do their show and then get booked in a bunch of clubs in the Midwest and the Northwest.

Right. It gave me more. And I've said that's on a record before. So I'm not saying it's not. Oh, no, and I know. And I know it's like Tommy. John again, there's a bunch of really funny. It is more for me than my letterman appearance. Yeah. Well, that's on a record before so I'm not saying it's not Oh, no, and I know and I know it's like Tommy John again. There's a bunch of really funny Comments for me than my letterman appearance. Yeah, well, that's real

There was also know everything ain't for everybody. Yeah, there was a lot of Disadvile your experience here's the thing is I think Jane I caught them at Similar time where they both were starting to break up. I think shortly after Jane I both did it Bob or Tom left I forgot forgot which one left. Yeah, Bob left. So I think we showed up when the divorce was happening. And so they were just unhappy. I showed up on the like the 97 bull. The 99 bull.

Yeah, you like who coach? Yeah, is that who coach? Who coach is the one that we're winning, right? Sorry, bro, that was so awesome. Oh my god, we are a dynasty. Ah, you missed it. Again, comics, great comics like you and Tommy John again, Ryan Hamilton and guys that I know

Bill waiting to yeah, you to show up. You I got BJ Armstrong That's why I got to play with I wanted to dish it to someone fun since we're matching radio hosts that we didn't have enjoyable times Yeah, let's do it. Dan Soder's gonna problem for you. I'm gonna real pro software about farm man, college Chicago Okay, I've heard multiple shitty things about him. I'll tell you what, that's another one. That's another one I would never do again. He doesn't even talk to you at all. He's just, he like DJs, a fucking...

A little person in a robot outfit walked into the room in the middle of the interview live on the air and starts humping my fucking legs. And I don't know how to react. Yeah, I don't plug in your weekend. And you're like, I was a woman in a corner town. The skinny, he's asking me questions about the Iran Contra of Fairbro. I don't even do those types of jokes, bitch.

Like, this is so fun. This is Sullivan and Sunroin. You know my comedy was way softer. Seven, eight years ago. Try to get that TBS crowd. I get it dude It was it was not fun. It was I did his last show the next day They turn the whole station to Christian rock and they cleanse I did the last one, but I hate always it's the millie goes he goes J

You're here for how many days like two three ago I'm doing two in a Downtown and one in Rosemar he goes cool. Oh wait a second Bruce wills is on the line It's a guy impersonating Bruce wills to talk about something. I can't stay anywhere sunglasses inside is that correct? Yes Real sign of a real fucking idiot what I get sometimes on the road just trying to promote comedy clubs is they'll be like Billions Give us some spoilers. You think I'm gonna come on this show and Give them fake that's what you don't know that's what I do every day at dance night here because he's filming

Plot points that aren't real. Yeah, and then it's always involve full penetration sex And it's always involved full penetration sex. And it's always great when you see the tweets when the season comes out and they're like, uh, soda, when do you get gang raped by the aliens? And I was like, oh, it's episode nine, guys. I think you can hang in there. It's deep in the season. It's a twist.

It really gave up a lot. It's a real arc. It's a real good story arc. There are very few jocks that go in and legitimately are trying to help you sell and Really promote yourself and really having a conversation. I never enjoy like a pig that fits my hole for Yeah, I never enjoyed it. What that's how I feel mostly at Morning TV. I don't want to do one of TV's worse. I'm saying no. I'm saying no to it most of the time It's morning TV. I'm like you know absolutely point going after the girl scales

I'm gonna start easy with the morning TV my first move now with morning TV. I'm like, you know, absolutely. Going after the girl scales. I'm going to start easy with the morning TV. My first move now with morning TV is whenever that because you always follow the cooking segment always they don't respect comics to put us before the food. They put the food out first. And then they bring the comedian on to tease your segment. Go out there and stand with the chef. And he's going to give you a nibble of whatever. I'm supposed to sit there and grin and act like this shit is good.

Fuck that, even if it's good, I'm spitting it out. It's going nuts. I haven't taken a shower since I jerked off in the hotel bed last night, and he'll stay next to his chef. He's like, touch it and go, you don't want me to touch this off. I got jeez on my sweat.

You go, dude, I'll tell you this right now, if I throw some of what's in my right hand in that pan, it might sizzle up like an egg. Now, how much fun would it be to come up with a fictional comedy club that doesn't exist and book yourself for morning TV I mean good morning with content. Yeah, and they're just like dance. So there's gonna be here And he is no one's double checking anything and it's gonna cost somebody their job probably so I gotta have I would say I gotta go to church make sure I feel good about myself I would say wait do a real comedy club and when you're working the club and you're on the road and you have to do the morning TV you promote a fake movie or a fake spectacle or something like it's coming out on Friday

oh movie that's not a movie. That's it. Yeah, like an inside baseball really obscure. So people who would hear it would be like, I'm glad I didn't give a bunch too much. I'm noting to me being in that, isn't it romantic movie? Yeah. Because the trailer came out and I'm not in the trailer.

It's fine. I'm in two little scenes. So that didn't blow my mind up. You're talking about the new Rebel Wilson, Rumble Wilson, Adam Divine movie, but then I went on, uh, IMDB, Yeah. and I'm not listed in the movie at all. And then I sit, told Christina and a couple of people

and they go, well, they might not have the whole IMDB list. I go, maybe that's true, but they do already have like, girl on phone too. They got her. You know what I'm gonna say? You're not the movie, you're not the movie. Also, Jay? Jay, sometimes it's not, They got her Sometimes it's not it's not the production that put girl on phone to it's her

When on IMDb and she's like I need people to know that I sure sure sure, but still you can still be guys jerking off in window I don't think I'm gonna be guy jerking off in window anymore Look at Yeah, I think I'm kind of look at look at how long that I am Double does this guy says Eric W. Esponosa plays office worker five. Yeah office worker five. They have his picture up I'm a big fan of homie Shit, we did you dirty. Oh, dude, don't worry. It's the bomb but it's hot cop Oh, and what's the other comic who is there Michelle buto in the trailer and definitely listed on I Know she's right there is Martino. She's also serious regal on a another TV series She's doing she doing well. I hate acting. I hate I don't hate acting

I hate like the process of being there all day to do almost nothing. Yeah. The same way this guy's like you that don't really want to be there. This guy's there like background that are doing the most to try and get seen. Dude, there was, I saw a background just recently on an episode of Billions. I can't say what happened because it's without giving spoilers. But this one guy, I was like dude, your your effort alone and to try to get on camera is impressive. And I just walked through the room a couple of times.

And this one guy was like, being a different place, he was like, do you need me to be this? And the director was like, I don't know. What you were saying, Steve Burn, tell me- It takes Steve Burn to tell the story, but Sullivan and Son, we had an extra that was in the background of every shot for the entire episode. Even though this episode took place over three days. That's great. Vince Vaughn is in the edit,

and he's going there, and he's chopping down the episode, and he goes, who the fuck is this guy that still, and we had to go back and re-shoot some of the scenes. Because he was just not having an error. And he was gone forever, never to be seen again. Gee, she was.

Never to be seen again. The better, the shit that's even better than that is when they're shooting a show, or you're shooting, you're dealing with extras that aren't used to, so. When they shot 42, and I wasn't there for this, but everybody back in Birmingham told me about it. So there's a baseball stadium,

this like retrofit it to like be old school, whatever. That's in Birmingham So any old school baseball movie they almost always shoot scenes at this part. Yeah, so they call it black people Hey, we're shooting 42 you want to be an extra in the movie and my friends in Alabama No enough that this is gonna be a all-day thing Fuck yeah, I'm going down to be in the movie. My fuck and they're going in their sitting in their sitting so long. Oh, I'm sitting and cut. All right, extra as you get 10 minutes, we're gonna turn it around.

Niggas bounced. They fucking left and there are scenes in 42 with the audience is CG because people in Burman ham was like, fuck it. Couldn't stay there all day. Out. I saw an extra cuss out. He got fired in the middle of a scene.

He cussed out the wardrobe assistant. That's crazy. Like, it's like, it's a person who is also trying to keep their jobs. So they need everyone on set besides the director. Even the director is trying to keep their job. Dude, he snapped it and besides the direct even the directors try to keep their job. He snapped it and this is a multi cam so there's an audience. He's just like an undressed. He had on the wrong shirt for the wrong scene. Yeah. And she goes, she's quiet about it. Joe, you wearing a blue

shirt, put for this scene and rehearsal, you needed to have the green shirt. Well, God damn it bitch. You know what, you know why game it? It got damn shirt bitch Shit everyone on set's like he fucking I'm from Birmingham Alabama. I said he does bull shit. I just watched Jackie Robinson plays first game three weeks ago Classic black guy shit where you start saying this full name We just try to say this full name And you my the fuck is he tell me which goddamn Shit to get you know where they don't play this shit Decay to Georgia

Me and my family why don't you say something to me? Warner brother security walks on the set to walk him to the fucking front gate dude Don't even get your shit. We'll bring it to you. Hope you enjoyed this week's best of the bonfire You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6 a.m. East on Comedy Central Don't even get your shit, we'll bring it to you. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM 95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM. podcast.