The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Pearl Jam: Live From The Pit!

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Big Jay and Lou relive their date night last night in the pit of the Pearl Jam Concert. We trash weird concert tributes and speeches between songs. Later we fawn over young Jamie Lee Curtis & get schooled on Christine's hair disease. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Life's work His life's work. So guys have I not sent these videos to Christine yet, by the way I'm waiting all night for these videos. I gotcha. enter a quick video of you. I know she said it was useless and nothing. It proves that you were there. Yeah I got some goodies. How close? Close. Closest I've ever been except for maybe one time. Yeah? Closest I've ever been in New York City. Did he look at you? Yeah, I looked away and giggled. You couldn't hold the eye contact with any?

No, no. He knows me. The V-Man? Yeah, dude. It was... Christine, I gotta send him the way after the sent him. I'm sorry. We should have figured this out.

Apologies. Did Justin go? He went to Pearl Jam last night. He did. Yes, Justin did go Was he with somebody? Christine you should begin a day. Did you get airdropped? And we did not see Josh out of Myers, but we did run into Joe list Joe this was did you get three airdrop videos was he in the pit? No, no, no, he was up in a boondocks. He's not as cool as me and Daddy Money Bucks.

Daddy Money Bucks, is that his new nickname? Daddy Money Bucks that took you to the jam? Daddy Money Bucks, I like that. I like Daddy Money Bucks. That sounds like a hoodie if I've ever heard one. Daddy Money Bucks. Absolutely. Jay was the greatest date ever.

I want that T-shirt you with just a fistful of money and Lou you holding Lou like a baby I was a very good date and even like Lou is like hey you want me to go back and get next round of drinks and I'm like buddy I don't want you to fucking don't you move a muscle don't you move a goddamn muscle. Enjoy. We were in the pit. You know the pit. I do know the pit. How many did you get, Christine?

All three? We pretty damn close. We went on Mike McCready's side. He's the guitarist. He's a bit of a ham, would you say? Well, Lou said he's definitely a hammy guy. I will say what Mike McCready does the guitar player He knows the show is Eddie Vedder

He's definitely trying to do a little over here guys. Why was he doing? I'll tell you what dude is pretty fucking unreal actually even flow He knows that solo so well. He did the salt which is very difficult plays the solo behind his head. I can do it Behind his head yeah, I can do it. I can actually do it upside down. I solo behind his head I can do it behind his head yeah I can do it I can actually do it upside down I know behind my head no I know but this is different okay this is for real this is in real life oh you mean real life this is an actual real life this time no he's a pretty sick guitar player the show is fantastic they they put on a great show I knew five songs and they were five or six and they were uh

The ones I didn't know for the most part would have good musical breakdowns in them. They were good How was talented band I'm always interested in how they like a band comes out Because they you know Sometimes I kiss the way they open is crazy huge that not slipknot Kind of came out creepy and they have that little slipknot Christine huge that not slipknot kind of came out creepy And they have that little slipknot Christine bring up the slipknot the knot fest 2012 Video this was the cool one of the coolest entrance ever but pearl jam did it It's understated thing they kind of cool though almost like that door scene that I love in the movie

They come out like silhouetted huge on this big white screen And then they just come out then they played a very like kind of dark slower song to open up with that everyone in the audience seemed to know so everybody sang it with him it was kind of like dark and then it and then it kicked into better man with second which got everybody singing along too which is a good like they had the lights on the audience for a bunch it was one of the coolest conscious I saw was Pearl Jam in the garden Boston Garden and Eddie Vedder came out and just slowly Walked to the front of the stage and looked to the right and the place went nuts

Then he looked to the left and the place went nuts And then he looked out at the people away in the back And then the whole place went fucking ballistic didn't say a word And I was like what the fuck was that Stern and his wife are going tonight yeah for three songs so my yeah they're not gonna be I don't know where they're going to be they're not gonna be the pit no for sure maybe side there's not really a much of a side probably side stage they'll be standing side stage probably which is I don't think is a good spot to

see a show it's not he just doesn't want to be bothered with people though. I get that I guess. But like, we went in yesterday, yeah man, we had a good time. We had a really, the show was good. Crowds like super into it. If I have to give my funnies on it, well actually should we first, first of all look at Slipknot's entrance from 2D. You saw them, I said we saw them on a show they very purposefully were doing a

1999 stripped down early slipknot show on purpose not a lot of pyro a lot of concerts at the garden seems stripped down No, I haven't seen any I mean kiss was great Yeah, kiss was but that was their last show ever but that's how they did it always that's their show You can go big play this Christine Ever but that's how they did it always that's their show you can go big play this Christine You could jump ahead five seconds when they start lifting the curtain it was cool this play curtain is so thick Christine saw this live That's creepy Do five second jump still starts what is this again slipknot slipknot where they did

Sally toward eyes of the tour I was on him with 2012 when I went on tour with him this was the show no no it slowly goes up skip ahead because you want to see what they look like they're all just standing there that's pretty badass yeah it was an unreal show yeah they didn't have any fire at the show we went to. No, as I'm saying, it was very purposefully like they were doing like their early first album, that was it. Probably save a lot of money. Yes, so you make a lot of money, you're still selling out the garden and you don't have

any stage production. Their stage production usually costs a ton, I bet. You see what I'm saying? He's up on the hydraulic drums and everything goes up in the air, it's nuts. Yeah, you don't have to have some fucking anal asshole who knows about fire Show oh my god that guy you know now listen this gets around 50,000 Kelvins so whatever the fuck pyro guy was the shittiest guy on our bus Yeah pyro pyro guys and gun guys are always a fucking nightmare. Oh, they're a hoot. Oh, they're a hoot.

But yeah, Pearl Jam came out, it was more of a subdued open. It was a very cool opening the way they did it. As you said, in the emotional tone overall, I'd say. To make my, oh, do you have the videos? Show Lou. I thought you said you got them. I got them to my phone. I'm trying to get them to the computer.

Got you. Did she use to do you nonverbal on radio to say no Yeah She's sugarhead though There's a microphone Well to it one of the video I have for you is just Lou enjoying himself and and singing along and having a blast Tell me you got the opening. Yes Recording me during the opening and you were Tell me you got the opening. Yes. I could feel you recording me during the opening and you were told me you were going to do it.

But you did great. After a while, I didn't give a fuck. You didn't give a fuck. No, you could tell you didn't give a fuck. I did about 45 seconds of it. Then I got two videos that I go, that I had to take of a guy who is maybe Pearl Jam's biggest fan, bigger than Lou. This guy was wearing a, I spotted him up in the audience

and I zoomed in on this guy. He is punch dancing. Everyone around him hates him. He's punch dancing everything he's singing. He's yelling it to and pointing to Eddie Vedder so he knows. Eddie Vedder, clueless by the way. I'm all in. At the end of the song, you'll see I filmed the guy till the end of the song. He just vanishes into the people. And then he was gone for most of the rest of the song, you'll see I filmed the guy till the end of the song, he just vanishes into the people. And then he was gone for most of the rest of the show.

Then I spotted him again. He was back and making everyone furious around him again. Just fuck it, it's great. No one likes this guy. He's wearing a Hartford Whalers jersey. The guy was a real jag. No he wasn't. It was like a fake jersey, a brand.

They had like an ass on it or something. But this guy, the guy was a fucking jobber for sure. It was like the guy at the Stones concert. Too many children I'd say for my taste. Those kids, I said, Lou, these kids are going to learn about smoking cigarettes and weed today because I'm not doing it. At the concert there was children? Yeah, so many children.

Why? I saw one. No, in our little side there, there was at least three. Yeah. There's a lot of blonde girls around us too. There was a good, super hot chick, knew all the words of the songs, there was an older guy, this was definitely a cash move. The girl was so fake tits, if she was 30, I'd be blown away.

She was younger than that. And the guy was definitely in his like 50s or 60s and he was just there just trying to look cool. It's so funny, those guys try to dress cool. Yeah I know. What they think cool for a concert is. Like what I wore one of those zipper that goes down a little bit on your collar sweaters but the zippers down. They have affliction jeans on. Oh yeah I'm wearing a brown plaid button down shirt underneath it's tucked in nice. My jeans have an embroidered dragon on the back pocket. Why is that crazy? What I'm out for a night out I'm wearing

vegan boots why what's the issue do I not look awesome I'm wearing those boots that have a little elastic on the side yick the slip-ons fuck that that's an age acceptance I don't have yet you You have a pair of those boots Bobby? I do not, I have laces. Jacob, you got a pair of them shits. But I do have zipper. I have zipper lace boots. So they're laces, but there's zippers on them.

I got you, on the side. On the side. I don't mind that, but just a full on fucking... I don't like a boot. I hate, there's one thing that, like like a pet peeve tying up a boot really fucking annoys me. I don't mind time a boot. A slip on boot is jerk off. If you wear the I think Justin had a pair of those at one point, some vegans, some of those elastic on the sides. The Aldo's. Yes. Aldo available out of it could bod crane shoes. I call them different sneaking around in a hollow

You get the best famous footwear. They are so ugly just flat Long toed things that has never been my jam I got a couple nice black leather boots, but they do have zippers black Lew would look nice though and some of those Gator boots though, or it's Gator all the way to the front Yeah, those are those ugly ass shits. Penny Perry Ellis. Perry Ellis.

Yeah there's exactly the ones I'm talking about. There's Perry Ellis's. Everyone had those shitty ass shoes. You know Quinn has those. Colin Quinn has like three pairs. 100% he does. 100%. Make no mistake those are in the Quinn fucking closet for sure.

He has one for each special. A pair of slide ons where you could stretch them, open them up to put your foot in, so put them on a sock. Chelsea boot. Yep, sure. That right there, the pair, yeah. I don't like that look, but no,

they're good Chelsea boots, I would wear a Chelsea boot. No. They're elastic? No. Can I show you a better one though? Sure. Like it's more, more... A slide on boot? Rugged, yeah. A rugged slide on boot? Listen, I make my boots slide on. My boots become slide on boots because I just lace them a certain way and slide them on. But they don't have elastic on the sides. No, I'll be honest, I had a pair of those. Yeah? I but I didn't like them cuz there I there was something about the you and Jacobs should start wearing velcro only sneakers I'll win you over. I do have sneakers that you'd turn the little knob You do have the knob sneakers, but all velcro By the way, my velcro move when I was younger when I rocked all velcros

It was the three straps the bottom one you go tight for the toes other two cross them up I do have a Velcro the Nikes I got with Velcro remember I thought I was getting cool Nikes exclusively Velcro no it has the one Velcro at the top no I have Air Force ones notorious yeah I leave that Velcro undone you let it flop let it flop around oh so I shouldn't Velcro that part I don't velcro it flop it but it might be annoying for you. They do kind of like bounce around a flop Flops a bit, but am I right black low black me up You don't do the actual you leave it open. Oh and let it flop around What's that?

Oh if you're gonna play ball in them, oh, yeah, of course if you're gonna use but no one uses Air Force ones for fucking I thought I was talking about a ball That's you dealing drugs Now the Air Force one mids dude, that's what I rock and the Elastic strap hanging off Send me three different videos. Yes, you sent me two of the same I sent another one that should it you sent me one single and then you sent me a double but in the double It was the same one as a single what seems let me see what the one of them is It's the with loose face. He sent me twice fuck. Yeah. Oh, sorry

43 minutes so good you got what's the 120 is that me also? Still when you went home like we ears ringing and you were just smiling on your pillow? I was smiling a lot. And we weren't even that drunk or fucked up. It was really a lot of firsts. Like the first time I was ever that close, first time I didn't drink till oblivion. First time you ever blew a guy for tickets?

Remember? Ha ha, Jacob. Hee hee. Ha ha ha. I'm excited for you to see these. Do you have them up yet? Getting there. What was your other first? First time for Jay.

First time for me. You never saw Pearl Jam? Never. Oh no shit. And I was worried about Jay not having a good time or... I knew I was going to have a good time. Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know. And if you came in today and said I didn't have a good time I would believe you cuz I really yeah, I thought you were

Like I could tell there was joy, but I I thought they didn't play enough of songs You knew they didn't play a bunch of songs. I knew but I was like, I don't know. I thought like zone I I hold with it. Listen, I drank Plenty and then we smoked really strong weed through the show. So you can enjoy fucking anything. Legitimately I'm telling you like I wrote songs where I was like, I'm enjoying that for sure. I had a thing I put on my phone, I remember this, made me laugh,

I went looted to Cypher, he told me the name of the song is called Satan's Bed, am I right about that? Yeah, yeah. If you can go to that song, I just wrote down phonetically what I thought the chorus, everyone was singing around the chorus and I go, here's what I'm yelling out. Did you get that Christine? The third one? Yeah.

I have them all now. Nice, let me just see... Go to that song. Let's get to the point where they're all singing. Yeah. Oh, here's where it wrote. Ahmed. Iplo. Ahmed. Iplo.

Already in love, he said. Oh. Let me hear it again. What is it? Ahmed. Ahmed Iplo. Already in love. Ahmed me hear it again what is it I'm in I'm at if low I'm me if low I'm not saying already it's a punk song Jacob I thought you would be on board I don't hear the right bit the ready that's the way Eddie talks. That's the way Eddie talks. My man doesn't have to enunciate.

Yeah, God forbid. Interpret the song the way you interpret it. At one point there's a song called Evolution where the lights go down and everybody raises their hands and sings Hallelujah and I coach Jay I'm like put your hands up and wiggle your fingers right now. And I did it. You did it perfectly it was so fun. Why do you have to put your hands up and wiggle your fingers?

It's a part of the song we do. I went in, Lou I'm surprised you didn't feel it, I dove in two feet first and I go I'm just going to go experience Prod, I'm excited to didn't feel it. I dove in two feet first and I go, I'm just gonna go experience pro. I'm excited to see it. I've never seen him before. It's a band I should see while they're still, they are still really good. He, it is funny though, it's all performer stuff.

I mean, I'm sure everyone recognizes it, but I mean, his like, I'm getting old tricks. I mean, it's like Bon Jovi do that for a long time. Like- Bon Jovi does the bounce. He does the X bounce, where he puts his legs apart and just bounce Oh, he can't fucking dance to music, but he was big on this he goes even flows thoughts are

Butterfly, oh, we don't know so we chase it Yeah, and you watch him do it and you're like and he gives it to the audience a lot also Didn't think so at the beginning of the show And he gives it to the audience a lot. Also, didn't think so at the beginning of the show. But when he started taking the hats off, a little bit of stuff like that, he's getting carrot top face. I think he's doing a little tocs, little bow tocs.

I told you that was. No, you said it, but I was like, I don't know, he looks like Eddie Vedder. And then when I saw the thing pop up, he's getting the carrot top brow, which might be getting a little work done. Also found out. A little vanity on Eddie's part.

When I was listening to Howard Stern today, and they were talking about going and how they're going through Jill, his wife, who I was unaware of, also awkward. Lot of pictures. I was like, well, let me see what Eddie Vedder's wife looks like. Beautiful, by the way.

Also, I think six full inches taller than him, which looks awkward as shit when they're walking down red carpets. He is substantially shorter than her. It looks strange strange how tall is he? He's a what? Short King. Look at the pictures. That's like Kevin Hart in his one. Yeah look at that that's wild. And she used to be a model that's why she's tall. Oh yeah well she's gorgeous I'm saying you know no dig on her. Is he short? How tall is he? Five. Five seven. Five six. Five and a half. Like lead singer height like Bono and

He's short cause he's Trooper Springsteen. He's very light cause he does a good move that's pretty cool looking with the mic stand. He does a full body drop back like almost to the ground like he's going flat holding onto the thing. You got a strong arm and you gotta be light to be able to pull that off and he does it. He does it a couple times, looks cool. I can pull it off one way

One so again the funny stuff of the things one he came out in the beginning and he they put a guitar on him for Better man and on the breakdown a better man He's that he was wearing a blazer over a Walter Payton Jersey that is not a good look, but very strange. But it's he had the blazer on the hat and he looked cool. And then he comes out and he puts the guitar on for the first time. And he doesn't realize it is the bottom of his blazer is over the strings. So he comes out there and he's like, yeah, he goes, and like, but he's trying to do that. And it just goes

So then he takes his jack and he tries to tuck it back and then when he goes one more time jack it comes right back out he goes And then he started stuffing it all back and then lifted at the third time he goes He's got he looked the crowd. He was just like man forget it and then he just take it off and readjust But it was three times he went for that move and he was a Stop raising your arms. I want you to take the stupid sports code fucking sports code off you son of a bitch It's rock and roll you fucking asshole. He was drinking He was drinking two bottles of wine for the whole yeah also a rock star I'll give him that dude cranking wine during the songs. I bet it was electrolytes

I saw a rock star, I'll give him that dude. Cranking wine, doing the songs. I bet it was electrolytes. No, what are you going for? I'd be in this car, I bet that was electrolytes. That was vitamin water. They said notoriously at Bonnaroo, he got fucked up on stage. Somebody was telling me today at basketball

that he was fucking hammered. And he falls down a lot, and he does that, yeah. He makes a lot of errors, cause he's drinking. Yeah, but dude, that was, that made me laugh so hard. Like, are you ready? Prrng, just completely muffled strings. Were you laughing,, that was, that made me laugh so hard. Like, are you ready? Just completely muffled strings. Were you laughing? It was Lou, hey, don't laugh.

Well, at one point, Ed made a heartfelt something to the crowd about donate to help sick kids and Jay was heckling them all throughout. And I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, Jay, you paid $2,400 to heckle fucking sick children. Bring them bald kids in here, don't bongo on their head Play bongos on bald kids heads. How about this? How about this? Why don't you donate tonight's profits stupid? Yeah, stop asking us

We just paid you paid $2,500 your child's cancer Probably with that money you brought a fucking bald alcoholic to fucking see this guy He's asking you for money get the fuck out out of here. What were you saying, Jacob? I don't know. When the police reunited in 2006, I got to see them, me and my friend went during One World. Out of nowhere, they start flashing starving kids in the background.

I mean, it caught us off guard. Everyone was serious and then my friend and I were doubling over laughing. It just seemed like inappropriate. It's a weird time. What are you doing? What do you want me to feel here? Why do you wanna bring up sick kids?

I'm trying to escape your life, go to a band that you love. I swear to God, they're like Coldplay would be in the middle. They go, hey everyone, Africa is being destroyed by the sun. So to save energy, some of you idiots are going to ride bicycles to power the entire stadium. It was insane. And if you dance, there's two platforms or three platforms.

If you dance on them, that kinetic energy is fueling the place. And then people riding bicycles and I go, you're out of your fucking tree. I'm going to take mushrooms and look at my blinky light. Yeah. You can't even charge an iPhone with that stupid platform. Madonna did an AIDS tribute during her celebration tour and Jay just was making Isabella laugh hysterically the entire time. She's a great audience dude.

Isabella's a great audience for making fun of fucking handicapped people. We're like four rows away from the stage. She's right there and he's just whispering in Isabella's ear. You guys are all getting aids from her dancers. Yeah, yeah. You know, Isabella knows.

We're just laughing at the right here and now. We're all good people. We want sick kids to get better and to help them when we can. Yeah, you wanna help kids, but you don't wanna go to a concert and to help them when we can. Yeah, you want to help kids, but you don't want to go to a concert and be reminded of AIDS. It's ridiculous. No, it's a weird moment to fuck. That's what I'm saying.

That's what the problem with Roger Waters is. It's weird coming from millionaires. It's a weird thing coming from a millionaire. Everybody on that stage is a multimillionaire. You donate. And like, you know when your agent sends you a gift and they donated money for Christmas to a charity for you instead of giving you a gift, do that.

Just go, I just want everybody to know tonight. I planted a tree. I donated 10 cents for every person here. Every cancer kid's gonna get put into one of those pods where a tree grows out of you and you're dead. Mine was starving kids. Congratulations kids. I uh...

What a fucking righteous shit to do. That's exactly why we were laughing. What are you doing? Look at me. Roger Waters, same thing. You're like, you're trying to enjoy another brick in the wall and then there's like every video screen showing it's like, this is the leader of this country. He murders and rapes 75 women a day okay and then a Palestinian flag comes up literally

literally anyways it's wild and then you're like oh this is good though this is my cruel world that's when you know the I think he's about to do us and them you know the band's good we see a sick kitten against in ten seconds later you're dancing for the song it was I went I went into, I saw Summer Sanitarium Tour, 1999. Metallica headline, Korn, Kid Rock, System of a Down, Power Man 5000. Power Man 5000, hilarious, trying to be cool in 120 degree Baltimore stadium,

wearing all leather, like full body suits. That was hilarious. Then Kid Rock won me over huge. I thought he was awesome live. Bobby? And I got to know me a Bobby. I ended up being like, wow, he's fucking awesome. So that won me over.

I knew I was excited for Korn. System of a Down, those albums came out or Toxicity came out and I was like, this is gonna be fucking great. And then every fucking song, I've only seen them live like three times and one of them was like Osfest circumstantially because as much as I like their music in

Concert do that guy in between every song he goes they use your government dollars to feed small wars and other countries To make sure the drug money gets back here so black people can be like Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go buy my $55 shirt that was made for three bucks. Buy one of these people I'm telling you to save. Yeah, go get the hats that were made by little kids. Right now, our merch company has Filipino children breaking their fingers,

building these little tiny machines. Oh. To be fair, the lyrics are pretty much the same. I know, but here's the thing. I get it. With the lyrics, do the songs with the lyrics. Inbetween is giving you a speech about genocides. You're like, buddy, it's hot and we're waiting to see Metallica.

Can you just do, except where you're at here and do your fucking hits. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to hear, you're getting, you're literally being ushered offstage by five people, going to a limousine, going to a five star hotel, taking a shower, wasting as much water, you could probably save Africa with the water you waste

on your stupid shower at the Four Seasons, and then you're having some type of drink and caviar, you're being ushered into some private jet, go fuck yourself. Fuck you, donate your money, don't ask for mine. I do St. Jude's once a month, 50 bucks. I'm done, fuck you, Eddie, sorry. The more malnourished the kids looked on the screen,

the harder I laughed. Can I, I bet. And they're not even, that's just, they're not even hungry. That's just the way they look. I feel bad for them. That's just the way they look. By the way, when someone takes a picture of a starving person with a fly in their eye, when they take that picture they go, oh that's good.

That's good. They're psyched, they go, oh my god there's a fly on the eyeball, please fly don't move, yes yes yes yes yes yes. Right after they take the picture, why don't you take a picture of you giving them one of your cliff bars you have in your backpack you fucking piece of shit. Oh, that was the joke always remember like what's her name Gloria? Sally Sally Struthers. Yeah, which you'll be out there just like that is all hell just walking around with a bunch of like bony Ethiopian kids you could feed these kids were just the Price of one of my fat turds. There's a deal, how many fucking concerts would you do to save Africa?

We raised millions and millions of dollars through concerts. That's when you can give your stupid speech. At Farm Aid, Live Aid, do that shit once a year. Didn't we fix Africa? We got them food that one time. And then we give them all of our championship t-shirts for the team that lost. If I go to Africa right now, a lot of people think the Eagles did win that Super Bowl.

Look at her, fat as all hell. Give to these kids. Now I have to go, I'm starving. 65 cents a day. Now it's 1995, by the way. Can you put on BYOB? This is the most fun. First of all, those- Is that the song I like to sing?

Those kids in that classroom look pretty good. Yeah, they're fine. They don't look that bad. No, they fixed it. We fixed Ethiopia. Is it BYOB, this song? This is the most fun. I mean, that kid's just sick. No amount of money is gonna fix that little kid now that kid. He was dying of something I'm gonna do at a police concert. Yeah, what are you gonna wait it my entire life for you to reunite?

What do you want me to do now? Yeah, wait you guys want to hear such self-righteous bullshit? Fuck you. This is the most fun song in the world. Turn it up, Lou. Stupid hats and scarves. Flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam flam side they want you to ride from the tabletop tablecloth sorry dude la la la la la la la la everybody's going to the party have a real good time yeah it's called the concert that we paid a lot of money to go see. Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine. Yeah, sounds good. Turn it up, Lou. Flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame, flame playing flam! sounds like my first hour skip to the end of the song more? wait back up, back up yeah here we go God, yeah! Where the f*** are you?

Where the f*** are you? Why don't brothers start the war? Why do they always say the poor? Why do they always start the war? Why do they always say the poor? Why do they always say the poor? Why do they always say the poor? Why do they always say the poor? Fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla-fla Anyway, that's everyone.

That's today's lesson on the Armenian genocide or something about selling drugs overseas to give guns to people. Fuck all these guys. That really makes me sick. Just be a rock star, shut your face. Fuck people, drink, get into trouble, sing your songs. I bet you guys the machine did it, but like... I bet you guys the machine doesn't trouble sing your songs. I guess the machine did it but like Really preach between no other song their songs are preach

But the thing is there's a guy who's at the MTV words jumped up on the fucking stat That's yeah, just a limp is good and ruined everything right for limp is good. Yeah, he's somebody wouldn't come down Yeah, no, they're political horse shit for sure raged against the machine but it's all in the music for sure. Do you know what I mean? It's not, they don't like start preaching after. I mean Tom Morellis probably annoyingly preaches a lot. I don't want Eddie Vedder drinking a $3,000 bottle of wine telling me to donate to the fucking kids. Go fuck yourself. Hey, I know you paid a mortgage payment worth of money to be sitting here in the pit, but I know you got a really nice Shasta trailer that you could have got, Bobby, for the money

you paid to get in here tonight. By the way, I'll give it, I'm going to say that about Eddie Vedder too. Talk about a guy who was very vocal about something and just walked away from it of Ultimac. I said, what, how much those tickets cost? You gotta say for everybody. How much those tickets cost. He was one of the main people in the beginning

who was like, no, this is wrong with Ticketmasters doing it. Now they just eat, now they just go with it. Because it's impossible to do it yourself. No it isn't. No it isn't. Who can do it? Louis CK. Well, then.

Hang on one second. Louis CK? Uno momento. Louis bought his own ticketing company, charged $40 a seat, whether you got first row or back row everybody paid the same Lucy K that was to see K Lou Lou your boy Lou my little that was ten years after Pearl Jam for ticket master. What are they doing now? Giving in it's actually easier now to do it for them. It's it's they are completely given in though

Yeah, of course because they want the money and they want to maintain their fucking lifestyle which I am fine. They held tickets, they held tickets though in release yesterday. I'm fine with being a multimillionaire. I'm fine with being famous and drinking 10,000 bottles of wine on stage. I'm fine with all that shit. I love it all but don't fucking come to me and don't beg for money for something that you as a fucking five- member band could take care of in a week. You could do a week of concerts and donate millions of dollars to your cause that you think is fucking important.

Yeah, you can get rid of AIDS probably. Yeah, I'm gonna give you what, 10 bucks? Go fuck yourself. Raging on the Machine actually had stuff that came up, remember their concert where it did say like, this concert raised X amount of dollars for this cause. That's great. Instead of asking people to donate money.

Don't ask us. You give it. That's like when they did that thing, who was it, The Rock and Oprah for Hawaii, when Maui burned and they were like, we want you, how about you're a fucking a billionaire and you're a half a billionaire. How about you go fuck yourselves and donate 25 bucks in my name? How do you give asking me for money their own farms? I was doing a fucking 90 podcast a day in a shed during the pandemic rage against the machine did their vision

They're like video visuals were so funny though If you could just also if you want to take the antithesis of what they're trying to show like one of the songs It was a was that township rebellion they did when it they did when it shows a fence on the border of Mexico. And it just shows slowly one guy comes up and jumps over the fence. And then it's just people just nonstop flooding over that fence at the border. And it's like, they're showing it.

There are things doing, these are dreamers trying to come to this country with a dream. And you're like, we really have to build that wall and then the other one started it was such a cool visual it's a helicopter from an above shot on the screen and above and you can't down it's just loud that but but but but but very dramatic and then it starts slowly going down to like the water and what you see is then you see it's like oh there's a boat in the water but it looks like no one's in it and then as it gets closer you see like, and you see it's like, oh, there's a boat in the water, but it looks like no one's in it. And then as it gets closer, you see like in the boat,

it's just people like squeezed in, like trying to stay low and hide so they can get to America. It's like they're showing up. And so they go like, ba ba ba. I leaned over to Christina, whoever, or I was just like, or I think it might have been Mike Feeney. I was like, all right, we found them.

Now ship them the fuck back where they came from. Okay, good. Okay, good, we found them. Now get the fuck out of here. I think, I think. Just take the we found them. Now get in the fuck outta here. I think- Just take the wrong side. People that are the boats, if you're a 75 and a fucking dingy

and you make it, you should be able to stay. Sure. I think the wall, they should make it like a Japanese game show. The wall should have different- That'd be called the war. The wall. The war.

The wall should have different booby traps on the top. So if you make it up the wall, but something crazy like a bucket of snakes might fall on you Yeah, for no, yeah, it's something like that for no, yeah I don't know if you're doing a bit or somebody has something that we should have like The American gladiators at the border doing American gladiator games where it's like what happened is well first. I had the dunk on zap We were both trying to put the ball into the little booey thing and then uh nitro couldn't knock me off the podium with human cannonball so anyway now I live in San Francisco yeah my aunt though she got hit by 19 tennis balls

yeah my aunt was not very good at the game I don't think she understood the game my aunt got laid out in the joust by Gemini. That'd be hilarious. He goes, what are you doing, man? I thought you were going to America. He goes, fucking laser got me in the finals. Laser got my, got me in the joust. He goes, laser pulled me off the climbing wall. It sucked.

I was right there. Yeah. You got to go through American Gladiators to get into America. It's a great idea. Yeah. It wasn't political at all. He just did that real quick. What would he do? I'll be honest with you, Lou. I was so zoned and whatever and I was probably trying to make you laugh at that point that

I didn't even hear that round of move that I ran. I didn't even hear it either because I was laughing at you. What was he trying to get you to donate to? EB. What's that? Young kid. Erectile bitch. Oh, wait a minute.

Erectile bunions. I'm actually full of this. Erectile. I have that problem. Erectile bitch? Oh, wait a minute. Erectile bunions? I'm actually for this. I have that problem. Erectile bis function? Young children with skin disease. What? He could solve that in one concert. Sure, everyone, free lotions.

Everybody look under your seats. Lotion for everybody. Hey everybody, make sure you shower. Now, I'm going to go get my eyebrows pulled back to my hairline. I'm going to spend $30,000 on my face He wears that up Lawrence Taylor not Lawrence Taylor Jersi yeah for his uncle. It's his uncle's who died and he's just been wearing it every show this it's his actual jersey

Yeah, uncle's He wears a t-shirt underneath it so it gives him some length yeah for sure, but that's the tour look this year I don't know what those guys do with that I know it's that I should have asked that more when I was at a Versace fucking $30,000 sports jacket. Yeah, probably it's fucking up his songs. I was uh like when they do like like Jonathan Davis on corn like the one tour it was like a Ditas tracksuit every night then we did another I did the, like the one tour it was like Adidas tracksuit every night. Then I did the other thing with him

and it was like a Henley shirt with like fatigue type pants. Yeah. And everything, and they wear it every day. Well they have, well I went backstage. Does somebody go and wash that every day? When Max, I took him to Jovi and he shit on my neck. Yeah. And I went up to Gabby, I was like,

listen, Max just shit. I gotta take. On my neck. I gotta take care of it. So she took me backstage to David's dressing room. And in the dressing room I saw, they have these big boxes, those black tour boxes, full of wardrobe shit.

So they just, just travel with shit and then there's somebody there who washes it every night on the whatever bus. So they clean it and then they wear something else and then they wear that again. I mean he had a whole fucking, it was crazy. But was it a crate of the same blue shirt over and over again?

I didn't know if it was. I don't think the other members of the band do it, but the lead singer kind of usually picks a fucking look and I think they wear it. There's somebody backstage, a wardrobe lady, like a movie set, who will take all that stuff and they wash it immediately after the show, they wash everything and then they put it back in this huge,

he had two of them in his dressing room, two wardrobe boxes, like closets, full of just the gayest outfits you'd ever find. I know, so things you would never want to see anything. He was open up, he was, where's my marching band starting looking short jacket that I wear? What? Has anybody seen my Adam Ant general hat? Where's my hat? Where's my triangle hat? My Paul Revere looking thing, you know, the thing I wear with the thing. Where's my chain wallet without the wallet?

Mr. T? Where's my feather earring? I'm missing a feather earring. I mean, Jovi totally started dressing a little more appropriate, but he wears like leather jackets. It's like stiff. I know, but they're like faux leather jackets. They're like leather jackets that like a mom with her new short haircut wears out. Yeah, it has like just an American star on the back. No lapel, just a little, it's motorcycle look,

but it's not really for a motorcycle. It's like a Vespa. Fonzie's jacket was always cool until I realized it was his head. So not cool. It had the elastic waist and wrist. And sleeves and wrists. What a fucking loser. It was a members only jacket and leather.

Fonzie was a douche bag. And it was brown. Yeah, it was brown. It wasn't even black. Oh, he probably got it for a Jewish discount. Franzarelli Berg So funny Justin points it on stage all time. He goes I'm Jewish who looks Italian. He goes that's a great thing

I don't ever put doesn't never points out Fonzie And by the way Fonzie The only time Henry Winkle ever look or that Lord's of Flatbush, right? He was in yep Wasn't us one Lord's of Flatbush, but I meanush But I mean, but that was Eric Roberts moves is great night moves. He was awesome. He's a nerd Yeah, he was a tweet. I was not he actually like move what it's going nice shift my ship was fantastic, but he was a nerdy Jewish II kind of Himself you know what hot in that movie everyone forgets about how she was Michael fucking Keaton

You know, it was hot in that movie. Everyone forgets about how hot she was. Michael fucking Keaton was a hot tea. He was great in that movie. No, he was great in that movie. Shelly Long. Shelly Long was smoking hot. Shelly Long was hot. Never gave two fucks about her as Diane on Cheers,

but she was hot in that. Super hot in that movie. And especially she did the one scene where it's like see-through titty, right? No, she had the panties on too. Yes. Yeah, there you go. She was hot, man.

She was hot for like fucking two years. Yeah, and then she's like that. After that she always played, well she plays a prostitute. After that she always played an uptight chick. But that was kind of what made her hot too, that she was a whore in that movie. Yes. In that, that's what, what's her name in Trading Places? That's what we all want.

We all want a prostitute energy coming off of a girl you get acts right in public. One of the best boob scenes, too, was in trading places. Jamie Lee Curtis is Curtis's boob. Every time I see him, I'm reminded. I go, oh, wow, she was fucking hot as shit for a minute because she was the first one to jump on to that short hair. Yeah, the worst.

But man, big short hair. Those titties those titties. Titties were perfect. Were perfect in trading places. Not fake. No. Those titties and the. And they say she had a cock when she was born.

Her mafradite. That's a real thing. Well, if you look at her now, there was a certain. If you look at her in Halloween, you can kind of see it. Halloween, she kind of looked kind of transgendered. A little bit. Well, she's always kind of has a bit of a strong face, but man, her tits are killer.

She had a huge dick, I'd fucking marry her. I'm gonna give her, she could fucking make songs about me and everything. Yeah, her body was on point. I mean, they're perfect breasts. That's like statue breasts. Yeah. Look at that.

She's never had a good look. Every movie, I felt like never dressed her well. I think, well, in true lies. No, she's a mom at that point. And that was the idea that she was like a sexy mom. But no, I will say this. When she comes in as Inga at the end of Trading Places is the hottest she's ever looked.

Look at that. The short hair, though, man. And physical. She was smoking hot and physical. And so is John Travolta. I didn't watch physical. The cover seemed gay. The cover seems like a picture that would hang in an 80s hotel. There's nothing gayer than John Travolta. Neon. It's a neon movie. Wiggling his dick in a fucking aerobic scene.

I mean, perfect body. There's nothing. I mean, perfect body. There's nothing, I mean, dude, God, God, God, God didn't know what to make. It should have make an gorgeous man or a gorgeous girl. He's like, should I put a cock on this thing? I don't know. It's like too good at the last second. He said, girl, yeah, I prefer the penis. I know. But if you could, if you go to Halloween, go to a photo of her on Halloween, you can kind of see the dude. No, I know.

Yeah, Halloween. She's got a strong jaw, for sure. But hermaphrodite, isn't that, you were just born with. Fake? No. I think it's fake. I think you were born with both sexes. I didn't know she had a big old bush under them panties.

That's why they look thick, spongy. I think that hermaphrodite is born with both, that one right, no, the other one. Yeah that one Yeah, that yeah, you can see it. Jordan Jensen's got sort of a young Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah, she looks like a dude. You're right No, I didn't say that. That's kind of what you said. You're saying that she looks like a dude No, she just got the square. I'm sorry. She acts like a dude I apologize. That is different. She's kind of girly there. I never overthought Jamie Lee Curtis

for looks at that Trading Places scene was like the mind blow to me. Well. And she was young also in Trading Places, but I thought it was, I was like, oh, I'm seeing an older ladies like tits because that's short hair. I never, ever, ever liked that.

You have the same hair as her in Trading Places right now. Yes, absolutely. Can't stand. I love short hair. I love it. Ever ever like that you have the same hair as her in trading, but yes now absolutely Can't stand I love short hair. I love it. I love a shaved head Oh my god a black girl with shaved head come on love it What that's not true racist that means girls who suck cock oh really yeah, you're fucking weird I'm glad I know that cuz I'm dating a black girl and I'm not going to use that term then. Don't. And that by the way because chicken heads means it's a girl who sucks dick if you're dating a black girl and calling her a chicken head she's gonna think that just means something to do with chicken that you're you know I mean. Jesus. I'm

gonna. What's up watermelon farmer? Oh is that bad? Do I not say that? No no I thought that just meant bald people. Yeah I'm gonna say that to her she gonna find you're in you don't think that dr. Funkenstein No, I always I say it's every black person. Oh, I love that. Oh god. Do I love it? I love it No, you don't I fucking love it I know they can almost make that girl from Walking Dead They can make her look pretty with hair when she when they show her bald dude She's intense look which one the fucking shanae docon or one No, which girl from walking dead?

Fucking uh Why are you singing your senses? What's her name? Danabi Ganoubdo Michelle? Danabi Gabugo What? Mbigi Umbagi Ocello

What the fuck? The girl who plays Michonne, Umbabu Ungagui Michelle, okay listen Listen. Yes. Yes She when she shaves her head, she looks way better. No, you're crazy dread smell No, anytime I see him I get I get I can smell what they smell I'm I'm sorry, you just do when they do hair on her doesn't hurt her dreads But she her bald and fucking Black Panther that whole crew of girls out of your mind. You're fucking, you're crazy. You're fucking out of your goddamn tree.

She looks good. To get that upset about it? No, you're saying some fucking crazy shit right now. You're fucked up, Jay, because bald Black Panther her looks smoking. No, look at her with hair right there. No, dude. I like her.

No, she looks much better with hair. No way. You like this better, Bobby. Really, that fucking Milk Dudge? She looks like Dougie Doug. I mean, that's nuts. I like Bob. No, she looks much better with hair. No way. You like this better, Bobby. Really, that fucking milk dud? She looks like Dougie Doug. I mean, that's nuts. That's nuts. Six minutes Dougie Fresh down.

Bring up Dougie Doug. She has Dougie Doug face. And Dougie Fresh. She looks like both of them. I like that whole crew of fucking Black Panther girls with no hair. No you don't. Ah, okay.

I wanna put her whole head in my mouth. Fucking love it. She has Dougie Doug face. I do. I fucking love it. She has a dougie-doug face. I do. I mean, I like girls with short hair. You don't think when a girl shaves her head. There are some girls who pull it off. And I'm telling you, a hundred in the globe.

One of them used to live in East Village. Remember that girl who used to walk by all the time? It was just bald, white girl, beautiful fucking face. And you were just like, you would get past the bald is how beautiful her face was but it's still I Love I don't like it. I love it. I love it. I like a nice. I like a nice tight fro No As you call it milk dud I would help Christine through cancer unless it was chemo and she lost her hair then she has to Move on to somebody else. No, no, we'll try now. We'll try every other alternative first

We'll try holistic, but when the hair goes Jay goes just get her one of those Indian wigs. Nope Why I'm not gonna have a wig come off of Christine mid coitus You already stuck by me balding, huh? You were ball day. We were also early relationship now I'd probably be one foot out the door if you started just getting bald patches. No, I'd stick through bald patches. We get afford medically to handle that very quickly if that ever happened again.

Do you know what I mean? That wouldn't be a problem. I could afford it 12 years ago, so. I could afford it 12 years ago. No, but we would know how to get it. You were going to a clinic and shit. It worked. Oh, I know, for sure it worked. No, but we would know how to get it. You were going to a clinic and shit. It worked. Oh, I know.

For sure it worked. Wait, what happened? You were both? They put steroids. She had alopecia, so they had to put steroids in her head to make her hair go back. You had Jada Smith shit? Alopecia, yeah.

She actually had it, though. Oh, Jada didn't. I mean, Jada Smith looks great bald. So you're making fun of Christine. No, I'm saying Christine what? You're fucking making fun of Christine because she has a hair thing? No, Jay. Settle down? No, Jay, settle down.

No, Jay. Jay, Jay. Jay. Jay. Jay! I love Tom! How fucking dare you? How dare you slap me in front of the crew?

I'll never get them back. Bobby, I had this. Keep my girlfriend's name out your mouth. Fucking pussy. I just got slapped by big Jay Okerson. Holy shit. The winner for best documentary is. Listen to me if you if Dawn ever got that I'd leave her. Yeah it wasn't great well Christine you didn't have it like that tiger head over there It looks he was in a fucking mauling Christina more like that like that girl the hair solve thing the one next to it the one in the middle

It was more like that shit like that would happen like big spots No that that cuz girls hair is there I mean that's a big part of actually more like this because it was you just had Long hair these spots would start and then they end up getting bigger and then they Combined how did you how did you fix that? Steroid injections in the scalp I had to go and get like hundreds of injections and that hurt It it didn't hurt as much as you think it would it wasn't that bad And how fast how fast did it come back pretty quick pretty quick once I got the steroid injections It started growing back pretty quick once I got the steroid injections it started growing back pretty quick

They told me it might it might be why I'm so gray because they told me that there was a chance that all the hair Was gonna grow back gray, which you have to wear a hat like Janet Jackson and rhythm nation She wore bandanas a lot. I had to put every day I'd take like eyeshadow like brown makeup and put it all over my scalp. So you couldn't see it It sucked and I knew you during that. Yeah see it. Oh, mama. It sucked. And I knew you during that? Yeah. Were we like friend friends?

Or was like when you were... We knew each other. It was pretty early in my time in New York. I'd probably only been in New York like four years. Geez. That sucks. It was wild. If you went on the side, there was a baseball side.

Oh my God. But I hit it pretty... Well... Thank God I knew what... Just because I went to beauty school, we had to learn about all this so as soon as it started happening I was like oh this is alopecia areata and but they did tons of tests on me it was like rheumatology and blood work and all this and they should do that any vet should raise money for that but it's all stress stress balls I know a lot of you guys out there bald

ass women I'm here to fix that but it know a lot of you guys out there have bald ass women. I'm here to fix that. But it was pretty white because you just see it. It's like you're looking at your part line and you're like, what is what you crying is. Oh, yeah. You're like, what is that? You're like, is that a spot? And so now every once in a while, I actually have a little piece growing in right here that I saw.

I have like this regrowth. It's like an inch long. And I'm like, oh, probably flared up a little. Oh, because it can come back Oh shit, but you never had anything like that. You have a good head that you can shave your head Do you know if your head's alright? No, I shaved my head. I'd wear fucking what? Fuck my jeans got a bald head. You don't know that I have a good short hair Hi cheekbones. No Christina good like when I met Christine shit a bob hair

Can I like can you pull your hair back? I want to see what it looks like with just short hair Short hair. Yeah short like all the way like pull it all back and then let me tell you something right now Look at me face on you look fucking hot with no hair. I'm gonna shave it all off tonight I'm telling you dude. she high cheekbones beautiful little Asian eyes she got a nice upper lip a beautiful bottom lip nice teeth beautiful eyes I mean you would look smoking with those air and you get nice ears you got gorgeous ears. Nostrils are different sizes though. Her nostrils are fucked up. I have really big nostrils. I would definitely do something about that. But the thing is, I know, you can count your hairs.

You can see when you're sick. You're the cause of COVID. Kristin, you have a tumor in your brain. It's on your temporal lobe. I'm looking up your nose. A guy I think told me that during sex once. Oh, he can see in your nose from the side? Big nostrils.

Wow. You have big nostrils? Really? Same guy that said you don't look that fat from this angle. Yeah, you had good tasting guys. He was good looking. Oh my God.

I fucked a Doug. I was not Doug. You should have fucked a Gil, you would have got money. You should have fucked a Gil. You made your bed though. You would look great with a shaved head. There's not a chance. I don't think I have a bad scalp,

I'm just not into like the shaved head look. You would look good though. I'm telling you right now, looking at your head, you would look good though if I'm telling you right now looking at your head you look good now dawn has a pear head Dawn would look ridiculous Yeah shaved head Christine. Why don't you do it to shave underneath thing? My hair is not thick enough to do that but underneath the chin What'd you see What do you mean it's not thick enough for that?

When girls do like the shaved underneath, it's generally because they have like a lot of really thick hair and they can pull that off. If I were to shave like the bottom half, my hair would look really thin. I do, I think that's a hot look. With the Mohawk side shaved but long and you can't see it until they pull it back, that look.

That's what I'm doing. I like that, that's hot. That's the look I'm doing I banged a chick she was a roadie for who's that famous girl singer that Avril Lavigne no the one that did the tour the Michelle branch no Sarah yeah that Beyonce she's Sarah McLaughlin she said it she was a roadie so long no Sarah no it was the what's that tour they did? Tori Amos. Lillifere, Lillifere. Tori, it's Tori Amos. Lillifere. That's what it was. She had shaved

head, dragon tattoos on each side. No. And she was a bodybuilder. Yick. No, I loved it. God damn it. Christine's favorite. I met her at Weight and Tables. She was in town. I took her to a carnival. I hit on her and she fucking was like, all right, let's go. She picked me up after work at La Familia Giorgios. We drove around, she had a Jeep.

You went to the carnival? Huh? I took her to the carnival, we rode the Rollercoaster. Where she was working as the pinhead? No, man. She goes, I'm a bodybuilder. I go, no you're not. I go, prove it, let me see your body.

She took her clothes off, she had a one piece on. Yeah? Yeah dude, smoking hot. Defined clit I bet. Oh my god, I ate her butt in my house. I bet you could see the outline of the clit, like through the hood, clit hood. Do you know what I mean? No, she didn't have a dick.

No, she did though. No, she didn't. No, but it turned into a clit inside her mother. No, she didn't have a penis. Bobby, you didn't go to offshore medical school, did you? Bobby, you didn't go to offshore medical school Bobby you didn't go to an offshore what's that you're gonna break me you think so motherfucker okay you threatened me piece of shit oh wait I'm sorry that you meant we had to take a break guys just if you get a second donate to children out there if you get if you have an extra five ten thirty

thousand dollars collecting money for children who need stuff yeah hair teeth or yeah maybe some's gotta get it or their like their lips sewn together because something happened. You know a girl is nervous and keeps losing patches of her hair. With inflation for probably a dollar a day you can feed that girl who played Sally Struthers. You could feed Sally Struthers for a dollar a day in Africa. Well, you just give her a dollar and she'll eat Africans. Yeah, Sally Struthers. She's a picker teeth of those little kids. Oh shit, Robert Kelly's gonna be where this weekend? Stand Up Live in Phoenix,

Arizona? Four shows. Four shows, Friday and Saturday, then Hilarities in Cleveland, September 20th and 21st. Skankfest after that. He's gonna be all over the place. He's doing so many shows a day, mostly stand-up. Four to six spots a day you can catch Bobby at Skankfest. No, no. I'm doing fucking two stand-up shows and then podcasts. Yeah.

Two stand-up shows a day? No, one, two, total. No. I'm not that fucking- That's crazy. No, because you're gonna come up to me with that fucking wide-eyed, non-blinking, psycho witch look and go,

Bobby, somebody didn't show you my back. What if she shaves her head first? It's because I need a killer. If you shave your head, it'll do whatever you want. If I come to, it's because I need a killer. Yeah, well, get another killer, because you have a lot of killers at Skankifast. Yeah, so she goes,

Jay, they could really use you for this. I go, or one of the other seven bazillion people here, right? Yeah, I'll be there in a half hour I'm not rushing back right now No Also, you can catch Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussycat lounge the Comedy Seller for tickets and all tour Dates go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly big Jay's gonna be at the Addison Improv Dallas September 12th to the 14th And then the Omaha Funny Bones September 20th to the 21st after that he's gonna be in

Skank Fest with me doing 13 shows a day 13,000 shows Spokane Spokane I fucked that up. I used to fuck up to Spokane Poughkeepsie right by me st Louis for tickets and all other tour dates go to big Jake comedy calm and don't forget to donate to the children. There's children who need donations. Yeah, use your money. I give sperm to children.

I think I confuse my charities. Yeah, that's disgusting. Fuck those children. I think I messed up my donations. I've been donating sperm to children. Is that not... am I doing it wrong? They say they'll take it to the bank. We'll be right back.

It's the bonfire.