The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Pettiness & Spite with Andy Fiori

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Loveable Andy Fiori returns with a fresh new haircut that prompts Bobby to lament about his own perfectly-shaped head. | Jay reminds the gang that his mother used to date cops who would shine the police light into her window as a signal. | Christine accuses Jay of petty and spiteful behavior even though he is currently wearing intelligent, professor spectacles. She sites examples during their fights about buying knives, eating in Austin, and placement of home gaming systems. | Andy believes there is a town in New Jersey that only little people reside. Andy Fiori will be on tour with Tom Papa this summer. Go to @andyfiori on socials for tour dates! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Right, what's up everybody? It's the bonfire And I'm Robert Kelly and This is the great big Jay Okerson. This song is Killing me right killing you turn it off. God. I mean, killing me in a good way. It's making me want to go to sleep. Go back to Aruba, dude. We have the great Andy Fiore with us today.

Hi, guys. Hanging out. Good to see everybody. Family. Family in the house. Nice to see everybody. How's your summer going? Oh, God. Familiar?

That killed the vibe so much. It really did. But it's going to make the video pop. Can we turn it back on though when we get rid of Steely Dan? Yeah... Turn it up, Hello. Skate a little low now. God, you can't have Chick-fil-A listen to Steely Dan.

I just wanna go to sleep. Mind if I... Get in here. to sleep. The fine cold lumpia make tonight a wonderful day. It does put you to sleep. Steely Dan? Don't tell them that. This is easy breezy, lazy music. This is nappy music. Put one of them in the ground.

It was so lazy. This is hammock music. If I ever heard it. Can I just ask a question? Yeah. Andy? Yes. Do you have a girlfriend? No, you should because you're hold You right now brother

And now how to you know to hold something and that it took him years to master that in fact That's why he doesn't have a girlfriend right now because he killed the last one with he went too tight That's why he doesn't have a girlfriend right now because he killed the last one with he went too tight Sometimes if he left it open they would escape and sometimes he squeezed him I just yeah, this guy was little too. I could have easily crushed her you have Such a comfortable hold and you know what I get good body heat like at night, too If you know how to like enough pressure to feel safe that wasn't even my a game Really that was just like a casual being funny, but not gay yeah, buddy I would have done that at a fucking Celtics game and not even thought it was gay

Andy summer cut do you ready to go summer cut fresh summer cut you don't have a girlfriend, but you stay yeah pussy You you ready to rock this summer. I'm ready go, baby. Yeah, what do you got planned? You got any good stuff? Birthday this week, birthday on Thursday. Happy birthday. Thanks. Having a little thing on Thursday if you guys want to come, East Village.

30? Yeah, let's go with that. All right, let's go 30. Late 40s, dude. I'm now 46. That's late 40s to me. Yeah, sure. On the other end of it.

That's other end. You got beautiful skin. Back nine. I think four, five, six is mid 40s. Yeah, but it's the later half of the 40s. Yeah, beautiful skin back nine. I think four five six is mid-forties Yeah, but it's the later half of the forties Yeah, let's go with that I'm late 40s. Yeah turning 48 this year Bobby I mean my face is beautiful

Bobby I think is Early 60s. You're a piece of garbage. Can I tell you what I did, too? Started to phase a little of the gray out in the face. Oh, I got the stuff. I just got the stuff. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to throw it in, I think.

It looks good. I noticed that. The barber. I'm telling you right now, I noticed it but didn't notice it. That's exactly what you want. There's something up with your face. I thought it was your trim, you here's the thing when you go to the bar You got to really stay on them to be like match it good because wait the barber put the car

The barber did they call it like a beard camouflage? But dude day one this is like almost a week now day one It looked like one of those hobo costumes you had when you were a little kid, like real thick. And I was like, oh no. This looks like shoe polish dog. And then the greys start to populate again. And now I think we're at a good spot. It's a good spot. I'm going to do it just for men.

You look like that Magnet game. Yeah. Right? Right? Right? I'm like, I'm light blonde. My hair. I got the black guy just for men.

Really? I'm going to put it in. I don't think that's the one you need. No, that's the one guy just for men. Really? I'm going to put it in. I don't think that's the one you need. No, that's the one I need, dude. I'm going to have that sharp filly line, like freeway. You're a white guy. Own up to it already. Stop.

Why? Because I'm going to look like freeway? I have the mascara one. You know the mascara? The rock, dude. That's what Matteo uses. I have the mascara, but because I don't have hair up top to magic. That's not the only thing Bobby has, Matteo has.

Yeah, you gotta be careful. If I, if what? That's not the only thing that Bobby has Matteo uses. You're goddamn right. Got his dicks. Matteo's dick. Uh, this delicious lube. He's got the hair plugs.

I don't know, but you know why I got him. To fuck guys. No, I'll tell you, because of me. Oh. During the pandemic, he was at the cellar, this was kind of before he popped off a little bit. No, yes We were going We were going back and forth. He came up to me and told me this so I'm not saying this Like I'm a fucking whatever he came up and told me this is what happened

We got a little back and forth as you do at the table Yeah, yeah, and I was probably at my heaviest at the time bald 360 Yeah, 350 and he's sitting there and I go I said listen fuckface. I made it Looking like this I go I go you go any Balder and you put ten pounds on you finish cautionary tale You finished I go that fucking hairline goes back any further. You're done in the business. I don't know He's so ripped buddy. Just kidding like abs line. I didn't mean it at all, I was just busting balls because he was saying some shit about my fatness. Put it in his head though. Buddy, he came back and goes, Robert,

I got hair plucks because of you. I did it because of you because you said that thing about my balding hair. I'm closing my eyes, is he here? Jay. That was a hell of an impression. Jay, I can draw, I can sing, I can fucking do anything. I'm Matteo Lay. He does look good, I can draw, I can sing, I can fucking do anything. I'm Mateo Lay. He does look good.

I can draw, I can sing. He can draw, that kid is talented. He's multi-talented. And gay. Oh yeah, you've never even seen him play the skin flute. That's where he really, you never see him shreddle the skin flute, dude. He takes a fucking Jethro, it's like Jethro Tull

in that thing, dude. Ian Anderson. Some gas flute. He's like Jeff wrote home He and Anderson so yeah flute. He's all he's like he's like early Lizzo He is fucking Phenomenal yeah, yeah, and each can draw how they can draw Disney characters surprise surprise So if I get the if I get the beard color, I'm gonna look I'm gonna I might look stupid though cuz I have nothing up top no I that's why I think you sprinkle it in Sprinkle it. Yeah, I did the mascara one because I have nothing up top. No, I that's why I think you sprinkle it in sprinkle it

Yeah, I did the mascara one and I look like a magician It's really trial-and-error kind of thing. Yeah, I have to describe this but one of Mateo's things He's doing a podcast the guy has to hold his little tell Mike because he has no lapel cuz his shirt is so gay I Believe that's a robe shirt. No, I love him That's Mateo's gay or friend Mateo is doing Mateo calls him the f-word. Yeah, but tails like Rogan when you watch this Yeah, no shit.

So wait, that's his... You gotta hear it though. You gotta hear Matteo and then hear gayer Matteo. Now is it podcast partner with a capital P on partner? No, no. I don't think so. Matteo is... Did Matteo get married?

Yeah, Matteo's married. He married a guy like a very good looking other man. He married exactly what you think he would marry. That black guy? Nope, that's not the one. Oh yeah, the Mateo's ass. I wonder if that's why he got all those muscles in his ass. That guy looks like a black... To make sure black dick won't split him in half.

That guy looks like a black alien. Did you see him? He didn't look right. Yeah, is that his husband? Yeah, yeah. Or boyfriend. Should we say his... It's a fun name. Oh yeah, he's married.

Yeah, he's married. Yeah, he's married. They're both fucking gorgeous. Yo, happy pride month, y'all. Oh, that's right. Oh, you's right. Oh, you didn't know. I just forgot. We're in the midst of it now.

Your best friend DJ Lewis, the grand marshal this year of the parade. That's something he forgot to tell his pal Andy. What? What? You got your scepter and everything? Wow. Sorry, Andy. Look at that hairline because of me. One mean joke made him fix everything.

I didn't know he was ever balding. Dude, he was during the pandemic? He was rec everything. I didn't know he was ever balding. Dude, he was during the pandemic? He was receding. I thought one day, one day I think I put too much gel in my hair and I can see head through hair and a week ago I had a thousand needles injected into my head, so.

It don't take much. Yeah, it doesn't take much to push you to that point and go, you know what, let me just go make sure I keep this hair. Yeah. I'm not even losing my hair No, you're just making sure I'm keeping my hair it thins a little but it's fine It's when you get out of shower. Yeah like that. It's gonna be fine when I'm done with this PRP Do you think I should go get a hair transplant and just get hair one more time?

I do yeah, I mean I would love to see what just rocking you I do, I think so. I mean, I would love to see what it looks like. Just rocking, flippin' hair. You're a good bald guy, though. Yeah, I got a good bald head, but. You got a good shapely head, man. Mine is bumpy. You know what it is, you're seeing your, yeah, I'm a mental

patient with a shaved head. My mother took full credit for my head, because she rolled me every 30 minutes. A lot of parents just leave kids, and the baby's skull is so soft, if they just leave you on one side you'll get fucked up head my mom would come in and roll me every I actually spoke with your mom about this wait a minute now look what now it wasn't about that it turns out me and Andy and this is not an insult to your

mother whatsoever me and Andy's mothers clearly had very tight pussies so our heads came out lumpy because they're misshaping because they can only open up so much. Bob, you just flew out. So your head is in perfect tact shape. One second. Did you say my mom had a wide pussy? I didn't say that.

I just said whatever her pussy was, you just flew out of it. Well, maybe I was a small baby. It's very possible you were a small baby. Coming out of a huge pussy you're gonna have a perfect head. You just said it now. Now you just said it. What? You said she had a huge pussy. No no I'm saying if a tiny child comes out of a huge pussy you would be perfectly intact. So you're not saying my mother had a huge pussy. No just huge enough for you to come out unscathed without touching any walls.

Real quick, were you really talking to my mother? Yeah. Okay, great. Well, we communicate. I don't know if you noticed, you get a message through the Aura app. Shane calls her every Sunday. On the Aura app? Yeah, on the Aura frame, I just upload pictures to her.

But I could just do it on my phone. I could write a thing and a note and just send it. Can I do, I would love for you really, because she does have the ORA frame. For me to start messaging your mother? It would be hilarious if I gave you her email. Hey, Mom, I'm Kelly. And just, you would have to slowly start adding photos to her frame, just to see if she even fucking looks at it.

She goes, what's that? He goes, I'm told it's Slipknot. What's your mom's first name? I forget the man, Slipknot. Mom, no. No's your mom's first name? It's the man Slipknot. Mom. No. My mom's first name is Kathy. It's a good mom name. It's not.

It's Marie. I never knew that. She's hiding from your father. Yeah, what's the reason? Sleeping with the enemy, that's the reason. He's dead. I don't know, they just went by Kathy, I guess. My mom didn't have a middle name,

which I always thought was weird. My mom's middle name is Kathleen. Marie Kathleen Dahlman. Yeah, but sometimes people't have a middle name which I thought was weird my middle my mom's middle name is Kathleen Marie Kathleen Dolan yes you went by go by their middle name weird I never knew that the stupidest middle name Felice Nothing got sense yeah, right? Felice I wouldn't thought that at all that's my stuff my grant as my grandfather always called her But my mom's Terry with an eye which lets you know she was gonna fuck a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. Mine's Mary Ann. But she wasn't slutty til she was slutty. Good Catholic girl. My mom wasn't a whore until she was a whore though. You know what I mean? When she was a whore, she was a whore. But when she unloaded, she unloaded.

Yeah, for sure. Terry with an I. That door was open and there was a key under the mat. All she did was fuck a couple cops in her 20s. She's been with the same guy for 30 years This little kid was on his tummy watching TV in the other room he had no idea what's going on Oh, no, I know what's going on a lot. Would you listen what no no no no no no But there was one time my mom always said to me. There's one time where I just Says weird my bedroom

Was the me and my brother's bedroom was the end of the hallway. Very small apartment, it was hallway. End of the hallway was my bedroom. To the left at the end of the hallway was my mom's bedroom, like profile. And then a hallway and a living room. That's it, in the kitchen.

And there was a mirror in the middle of the hallway that would bank to the couch where I could see my mom, which was usually my safety net because I was a very scared kid. And I could see in that mirror, like my mom, even her feet or whatever, just something like, OK, my mom's there, like everything's fine. And then one day, light shines in the window, which is the sign that this guy, Dave, the cop, was coming over.

And Dave came over, and I just saw wait Wait, you're glossing over the signal that Dave is here Yeah, I know but he would shine his Coplight, yeah, you have to shine light But that was a code of case other guys throw in a little pebble against the window We were we were a top floor of a duplex. It was apartment downstairs upstairs Yeah, I guess you don't want to call the landline wake up So he would shine the light into the window and and so she would know that was the signal when the door move when the doorbell rings Well, basically was saying the doorbell rings don't be wigged out. It's me because there were no cell phones like you say

Yeah, okay story checks out. It's not a thing. So you're the same thing that cat burglars do No, they're in with this flashlight. Okay, he shined. It's not a thing. Isn't that the same thing that cat burglars do? No, they peer in with this flashlight. He shined the cop, like the light light. Oh, from the car? Yeah. Oh, okay. And he would shoot it up in the window, so it would light it up and she would know that it was going to be him.

But Dave came up. She was about to get it. I was peeking through, you know, I was looking in the thing, but just like normal looking just to see everyone's air it's in fact I would like when I was a kid I would like when a cop would come over and visit or any friend of hers would come visit I'd hear them talking then too which was very like no monsters can get you I could fall asleep very comfortably because it was such a small place I hear him talking in the living room and no monsters could get talking to me Well, you earn that PBA card bitch Dave the cop

Fuck you want to fucking tickets or not? My mom did not get any tickets She drove she wasn't a good driver. Yeah, she did not get any tickets. I will say that I don't recall her ever going to traffic court She did not get any tips. I will say that. I don't recall her ever going to traffic court But I saw in that mirror that it was I believe her laying on her stomach And he was in fairness. I do remember him being fully like cop uniform shirt on but he was just I Think the her thing she'll say massaging. He was massaging her back. Whatever it was. it was definitely getting into it. Hang on, let me get my hand, let me just fix that. Go for it, dude.

I was really hoping it was going to be naked with the cop belt on. Nah, maybe, listen. I don't know what was going on below. Yeah. Uh-huh. Slow it down, slow it down. She was on her stomach, then what? I think so.

And then he was straddled over across her butt. Right, yeah, yeah. And massaging her back, she says. Yeah. But I was pretty sure, I went to school the next day, feeling and definitely telling at least somebody. Damn, school night? Jesus, Dave.

What a ho. Holy shit, Terry. Who does that on a fucking Tuesday? That's the movie, you wanna fuck my mom, school nights tonight. Oh, I didn't know. You can do it on weekend when I'm allowed to be up. True, true. Now on the weekends though.

Dave is a slippery one. Weekends got shipped off to my mom's house. So actually that's when you can really fuck loud. You hit the whole force in there. That's what she, yeah. And she fucked detectives on weekends. But that's the- Knife precinct.

She fucked a guy with a little flip pad and a fucking pencil. But I told that at, you know, at risk of telling the story for the 500th time, that light in the window story is always interesting because the night my mom met my stepfather in a nightclub, they went back to my mom's house, I was at my mom's. They were definitely going to if didn't fuck.

And Dave the cop, while my step-pop to be was up there, shined a light in the window and- And you fucked him? Yeah. You lied on your belly and he didn't know. I lied there. Dave lied there. But you're saying, then the doorbell rang, and my mom ignored it because I already got somebody here, Dave.

But it wasn't Dave. It was a guy she went on another date with once. She's Louise. Who got hammered. Hammered. That was her nickname. Showed up. Jeeze Louise. Jeeze Louise. We who got hammered hammered. That was her nickname showed up cheese Louise

Go see cheese Louise. I'm almost sweet sweet Connie from word America But so that was My stepfather's up there. Yeah, Dave the cop goes but got a call So didn't end up ringing the doorbell and it was a stepfather going there's somebody murdering but got a call so didn't end up ringing the doorbell and it was a stepfather going there's somebody murdering When my mom didn't answer he drunkenly put his fucking fist Oh, yeah, yeah, and like yeah went upstairs and my steppop patched him up and they called the cops and they what a good dad We're not cops. They called an ambulance to like come take him to the hospital But that is the night my mom and my stepfather wrapped up in three guys who were probably fucking her or it already fucked her Yeah, Harry, Harry

Tara goes for it. Do I damn say what they say? We will buy jubras do but Terry Rosenberg froze Thank you my mom Terry Felice Rosenberg gets down my mom mom wasn't like that. My mom was a good lady. No way. No way. My mom was with Pacha. Are you excited, honey? I know, mom. You're right.

You don't know what she did to get in the country. No. She's from this country. You know what she did to survive the Holocaust? Don't you dare. Her mother did something to survive the Holocaust. Yeah, she went down on those German. Probably.

More than likely. Fucking Gleipnz. And then she made it so my sweet, sweet saint a my mom could live and be born in this country Yeah, and meet my wonderful grandfather and they would give birth to neurotic Jew named Barry and Uncle Mark who was a heroin addict from time he was 15 and my mom the local cop slut slut What a badge bangers is that something in there badge bunnies probably yet badge bunny probably We were talking out front which is pretty funny about I was just on vacation

And I thought this and I bought I bought my wife, I was gonna buy my wife a necklace, you know, and Max was like, get it, mom, get it, let him get it, and she was like, no, he's just buying this necklace so he can buy the Gucci sunglasses he wants. Was that what you were doing? Of course, 100%. 100% what I was doing, but. Why'd you even ask?

I didn't well I Jay's gonna come at me with a new look I Didn't know your buddy those glasses came out of nowhere fast I feel like we're on a different show like we should be talking about Palestine and I was a Gaza Gentlemen yes, yes you were saying Jay's wearing the brand new glasses, but they're progressive. They're exciting. And they're actually Chanel, I believe. Right. What are they? Cartier. Oh, Cartier.

Sorry. Even fancier. And they look fantastic on a butt is a different guy. It's not the it's a different Jay. It's not a little guys. I can still talk cock and pussy. You should use different words, though. Penis and vagina. So I said I wanted the sunglasses.

100%. I was buying her this so I could get that. Well, if we're here at the store. But I didn't get the sunglasses to spite her. Good. Good move. Right? 100%. And then Jay was telling telling me you got tell Max to shut it well Max did that was actually max broke broke. Oh, you gotta call it when you call say say well

I know it's a birthday week, but yeah, that's break a bro. No, that's what she said not him. Oh, she said it She said oh he said max which is like mom get my cuz yeah Cuz he I got him a silver bracelet. He's like mom get get the Get the glass get the necklace. Let him buy it for you She was like family jewelry shop in the Sopranos. I know it's fucking nuts He goes have a nice robe chain with Italian horn on it I was I was doing this to get the Gucci sunglasses that I wanted Yeah, just so I could get them guilt-free and she was like he's just doing this so he to get the Gucci sunglasses that I wanted. Just so I could get them guilt free.

And she was like, he's just doing this so he can get his Gucci sunglasses and not feel guilty about it. And I go, you know what, I don't want them. I really do want them, but I'm not gonna get them because I want you to be happy. I just want you guys to have stuff. I won't get anything.

And I did that to spite her fucking face. I'm with you on that one. Right? Absolutely. And then you went up telling me- Preaching the choir. You said that you- Oh, the level that I'll go to to spite Christine, yeah, because something, if she's, if she's Christine-ing for a change, sometimes you gotta straighten her out by-

Is she a verb? Yeah. You make yourself uncomfortable at the sole reason being that it's gonna make them feel guilty feel guilty about and just go to bed with that I said I've slept that was example I used me and Christine been in arguments where I've just gotten into bed and jeans and the clothes I was wearing that day because I'm gonna be uncomfortable and my face will show that all night and it is gonna bother her in some way like one time it was psychotic to bed? That's psychotic. I think that like one time, I was psychotic.

I didn't wear it one time. But it's to teach her. It affected her every time. It to teach her to make her feel. Yeah, to teach her. I always fall asleep right on time. I used to have an ex-girlfriend who would not let me near her bed if I was wearing my street clothes,

quote unquote. Don't sit on a fucking bed. You have street clothes? Like what I wore out to the day. People are real big believers in that, though. People who care about that care about that a lot. I've heard all kinds of things. Can you believe that when people,

as soon as they get in the hotel room, put their suitcase up on the bed, I go, it's immediately what I do. First thing I do. And I unzip it, and I put the stuff out, and then I move the suitcase to the little rack or whatever, or somewhere where it's gonna sit, and then I lay right on the bed.

Yeah. With my, wherever my dirty suitcase was all over. That's 100%. Doesn't bother me at all. No. But I do, I think I've done this before. I've slept on the edge of the bed with no blanket. Of course.

To make her feel. Let her know. She did wrong. Let her know that, I, look, we're here on this little thing because I have a show or it's my You know the comics come home. There's one king bed Mm-hmm. I've slept on the floor to let her know I'm the guy this is about me floors wild, but I'm gonna fucking do it So you two can have the fucking bed

I'm gonna get no sleep and I'll also go do the show and fucking murder in front of 17,000 people and then you can get the check and you feel that yeah you feel that did you fall asleep really easy too? like that, both of those pieces of shit with all that room? lights out he's hanging out on the floor?

she got a gold necklace and he got a silver chain I got fucking Lugats and I'm bullshit cuz I can't find those glasses anymore now listen who is Lugats? can I tell you something? sounds like a dude Lugats and I'm bullshit because I can't find those glasses anymore. Now listen who is Sounds like a dude Lugats. That's new. By the way, you still won. I did Yeah, because somewhere in her brain she feels guilty about me not getting the glasses you've taken you've taken time off of her life Here's what I'm gonna do Tell me if this is a this is my plan to lightly pepper in these glasses over the next month of like I saw those glasses again,

I wish I got them, and just put it down. Lightly, subtly, heavily. It's really bright out here. Yeah, right? And then go, yeah, no, it's not really the time to spend money on myself. That's frivolous things. That's good, frivolous is a word.

Dude, I have slept poorly, I have not purchased things. I know, when he starts to sense and touches those glasses, it not very difficult with the head it's a whole new day I don't understand what's happening that whatever you just did with your glasses yeah it's more thoughtful you go ah when I just Jay please tell us I've not gotten sleep I'm not eating I've left places early. All things for spite. I've done the not eating. The not eating to me, when you get into some type of argument. You both are liars.

No, no, just this one. Just for a little bit for spite. Sure. I'm not going to say that. I didn't go to a week long hunger strike. Yeah, buddy. I'm not saying I didn't. I thought Cesar Chavez over here.

I went back at 3 in the morning and stuffed my fat face. Yeah, once they're asleep and it's all done, it doesn't matter. You thought he was eating on the floor of the hotel? I've just pushed the plate away and just went. Sure. And I mean a good meal. That is a good storm out there.

You know what, I'm actually not even hungry anymore. Yep, both. No, but you guys finish. No, you guys finish. Oh man. That's a good one. Also, yeah, and sit there. No, no, I'll wait for you to eat. I just, I can't.

You just did that to me in Austin. Nice. You did? What did he do? Were you Christine-ing? Yeah, I want to go to... Question. First of all, I'm going to use that on Dawn.

And everybody should use that on their girl. You're Christine-ing right now. I like it. It's like, where are you summering this weekend? Christine did Christine. You're Christine-ing right now. Yeah. I like it. It's like, where are you summering this weekend? Christine did Christine. Go ahead. I'd like to hear Christine's point of view on this because the spite...

I want to go to a place I like, Iron Cactus. Iron Cactus. So I love this place, Iron Cactus, and I wanted to go there for lunch. He doesn't love it that much, but I love it. We usually go once when we're there. So he's like, hey, do you want to go to Iron Cactus? He's like, no, I don't really want to go. I was like, all right. He's like, if you want to go, he's like,

it's really busy on sixth street. I was like, well, there's no one over there right now. Like it's kind of dead. And he was like, okay, fine. Let's go to iron cactus. And I'm like, okay. And I knew I was like, this is not your number one choice, but you're going to go with me because I like it.

And we get there and he just decides he's not going to order. By the way, we went up to sixth street, stopped the whole bunch. That's not, I said go to sixth street right right now, Moon Tower, it's gonna work, it's just like I'm like in sweatpants and whatever it's like we're just sitting outside. It's like walking through the lobby at GFL, it's gonna take you 30 minutes to get anywhere because hey, oh yeah. But it was also like two blocks from us. Iron practice is right by the mothership, we're at the Thompson. It's still though, you're gonna wind up getting stopped a bunch of times

so it's not like you can just go from here to there and you're there. Hey Jay, oh my god, it's like, it's a fucking process. Sounds like a gay bar. Fine, he could have argued it more. But then you're out. I know, I just wanted to go, so I said, I'll go. He said he'll go, and then I'm like, what, you're not eating?

And I was like, fine, pack all this to go. Let's get out of here. You. What kind of cuisine? Fuck that, Mexican. At the cactus. I'm like, I'm not gonna sit here, I was like, I'm not enjoying this, I don't wanna hang out with you, I would have rather have just come by myself. Can I see, I just wanna, I'm not gonna sit here. I was like, I'm not enjoying this. I don't want to hang out with you I would have rather have just come by myself. Can I see I worked?

I want to say the smile on Jay's sophisticated glasses face right now Really knowing that your rage is still available I forgot about it till right now the fact that you're still you Wow, what a move. Yeah, I'm not gonna eat didn't order I'm not gonna eat and it's look at her. She's still mad Didn't eat the queso I ordered the bring she had to bring home her soup That's why I brought home my soup. I ate it in the room. I paid for it myself. I was like, I'll pay Wow I'll show you professor. How great is it that the her anger is still? I'll show you professor. How great is it that the her anger is still on tap?

Petty it's really nice. It's it's kind of it's kind of his full Spite you wearing those glasses cuz it makes it a whole lot pettier Yeah, you had to push them back. Yeah, you push them up on your nose. Well Christine you see Your behavior won't be tolerated Wanting to go to my favorite restaurant in Austin so sorry Fuck you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Your behavior won't be tolerated. Ha ha ha ha ha. My behavior of wanting to go to my favorite restaurant in Austin, so sorry. Favorite? First of all, you are garbage.

It's the iron cactus. They have a soup and salad I really like. Is your favorite restaurant. And by the way, your favorite restaurant. I see. Your favorite restaurant in Austin is a place that can use for the soup and salad is bat shit crazy. You can't say favorite restaurant, soup and salad.

My favorite restaurant is probably Terry Black's. Yeah, Panera is one of your favorite fucking places. I hate the broccoli cheddar at Panera. You ever have the broc shed? Yeah, it's great, but he's not your favorite restaurant in Austin. What other restaurant in Austin do I like more than Iron Cactus? Oh, you know what? Cisco's is probably my favorite.

Oh, Cisco's is the never-ending. Cisco's is probably my favorite. Yeah. But an average. Cisco's is probably my favorite. Yeah. But Iron Cactus is a close second. It's Mexican food in Texas. Christine, you're Christine-ing. Settle down. Christine-ing hard.

Jay didn't order. He didn't order. I didn't say we had to leave. Buddy, it works. No, you're just going to sit there not eating at the table. Yeah, and pout. Too sudden.

No. Is he pouting? No. I mean, define pouting. You know, to Jay pout. No. Is he pouting? No. I mean, define pouting. You know, a J-pout. No. I mean, we can change the word to make it less masculine. Wait, wait, I love this.

We had another verb, a J-pout. A jowt. What is it? Jowt. Jowt. Jowt. No, it was, listen, you're on Sixth Street. I sat in the chair that can look.

Are you jowting? Quit jowting. Quit jowting, you fucking, you Christine-ing. I sat in a chair that can see the Sixth Street like lunatics walking by. Yeah. And I just sat there and was like. Past the time.

Jouting. Talking to Christine, half and fucking. No, you weren't talking. It was the whole thing. Was he jouting? No, I was like, you're not eating. I was like, you're just not gonna order anything. Guess we're getting the soup to go.

I mean, it was just horrible. How was the soup when you got it back to the room? It was fine. But it's not good. It wasn't great. Can we bring up the Iron Cactus website please? The Iron Cactus. What kind of soup was it? It's attached to the mothership and no one talks about it. Well that's because they're all into Terry Blacks and they're fucking Elks. It's next to the, I didn't even know there was a restaurant next to the mothership. It's where you took the picture of me and my friend Chelsea hugging on It's the best soup. It's the best soup in town, they say. Is it tortilla soup?

Yeah. I had a feeling. It's tortilla soup. First of all, there's no best tortilla soup. You've never been to a fucking cactus. Christine says there is, at the Iron Cactus. I love chicken tortilla soup. Locals call it the cactus.

She goes, she goes, yeah, we can just go to the Iron Cactus. Keep in mind now what you're saying. It's the Iron Cactus. It's only two blocks away, but I go, There's no one else. Sixth Street's going to be the... I'll put time to people. Oh, I'm sorry. A couple in mind now what you're saying. It's the iron guy It's only two blocks away, but I go six streets gonna be But other people Told you you were awesome

You really do have a good oh no people want to take pictures with you There's like maybe two or three people. I didn't even brush my teeth. I was in sweatpants. What time of day? two or three people. I didn't even brush my teeth. I was in sweatpants. What time of day? It's like 1230. At night or in the afternoon? Afternoon.

Oh, afternoon. He was supposed to do skanks. I was walking around by myself. I was going to go eat by myself. Let's see some of this. Is this a chain? And the internet didn't work. Is it a chain or just one?

I think it's just this one. Let's see you some food photos. It's fun. Jay doesn't really like Mexican food either. He doesn't like Mexicans. Not with these. I like Mexicans more't really like Mexican food either. He doesn't like Mexicans. Not with these. I like Mexicans more. I like Mexican food.

Yeah. He likes the queso. That's wild. That he wouldn't touch. Why you didn't touch it? Frisket queso, dog? I'm with you. That sold me.

This place is bomb. We used to do big groups here. Did I not have, it's not bomb. Have I? He doesn't think Cisco's is bomb either. That's wild. Jay's. Neither does Bobby. What? Cisco's as bomb, either. Well, that's wild. Neither does Bobby. What?

Cisco's? Cisco's garbage. Breakfast? Bobby says it's garbage. I'll tell you why. You started eating your food before the tortillas came. Because it's, here's the problem with it, there's no levels. It's a styrofoam plate.

It's a flat piece of shit. It's beans, eggs, and fucking, and it's all the same level. There's no peaks and valleys. It's fine. I think it's fine. It's fine. It's not great. And I like the tradition of it. The tradition of it's all the same level. There's no peaks and valleys. It's fine, I think it's fine. It's fine, it's not great. And I like the tradition of it. The tradition of it's fine. The tradition is fine.

Going all together is what you go for. But it is not a breakfast I would ever go. I would never be there and like, hey, I gotta go to Cisco's. I would never go there by myself or take anybody. And here's the thing. I stayed there for like a week. I ordered it to the hotel three times. I fucked up because I didn't do the tortilla.

So maybe that's why I fucked up. I was just eating slop out of a plastic fucking bowl. Were you not enjoying the butter biscuits and No, fucking. The chips and salsa and the queso. Queso was great. I was the one. The biscuits were burnt.

I'll give it. The biscuits sucked. I was the one who ordered. Josh was like, we only need one queso I was like get three because you're a fucking Doberman pincher and all that we gone which was gone He ate it all and he didn't eat it all We all gotta get the Mesa day so whatever the fuck it is What is it the megas megas weiegas, we all get Miegas.

That's the tradition. We can't break tradition or I'll cry into a bowl. Anyways. Miegas, please. Noice. That was a fire. Noice. That was a fire, good one.

Can we say that? This is my meal right here. The iron salad and the tortilla soup. Perfect lunch. Can you have a picture of it look she bragged about spending? $21 What am I bragging about? No, I also you said I paid for it. You did I paid for it and I don't know You did you did it you did I wave your little walk to the guy

I said, oh here can I give you this and can I get everything packed to go separate checks, please? Now you're still mad about it. I completely forgotten about it until this moment If this is the case with this one little instance of her having this inside of her How many of these does she have loaded up? I don't know, but it's great You're gonna watch it back in this house I mean, you gotta watch it back in this house. He's been shoutin' around the whole time. How good am I at it? How good am I at it?

Buddy, it's really good, and I agree with you because as soon as Don said, he's just doing this so he can get it, it was almost like, first of all, go fuck yourself. We're on vacation. I just, I bought you a thousand dollar necklace. I brought you a Aruba. I brought you a, fuckin', keep going.

That's what I'm sayin'. I paid for every meal. You figured out what restaurant she wanted to go to. I brought you to keep going. That's what I'm saying. I paid for every meal Oh look you figured out what the restaurant she wanted to go to anything she want yet everything everything's done iron cactus and then now I'm getting you're getting the benefit of me feeling guilt for wanting to buy myself something. Yeah, so you're getting something I got her something, but it was I was getting her something so that we all you get this you get that I'm gonna get those glasses, but I didn't say that. But she knew it, that fucking evil girl, psycho mind of, he's just doing this to get the thing.

You don't say it. Except you got your treat. Except you got, as Rocky would call it, your prize. You got your prize. What'd you just say? I said it's not evil so much as just knowing who you are. Pretty calculating. It's pretty calculating. And you know, I just bought you my glasses

worth three hundred dollars. The Gucci glasses, sunglasses. Her necklace was a thousand. Did you save the style number or anything? Yes. Yes, I did. I'm fucking getting the glasses. You got any of that? I'm going to walk over. I'm going to walk over. I'm going to get the glasses. But no, I'm gonna fucking get in the class. Are you out of your mind? I'm gonna fuck, I am. I'm gonna walk over on Andy. I'm gonna fuck, yeah, I'm gonna fuck. I'm gonna get the glass, but no, I'm not, I'm not. Did it ruin the trip?

Was it a good trip? It didn't ruin the trip, but it did hurt. I'll tell you, I'll be honest, can I be honest? Were you jouting the rest of the trip? Yeah. No, but I was Christine-ing. No, my good boy. Bobby's more of a Christine, James once told.

Yeah, he's a, he's a, but it really is. In the relationship, I'm Christine, and he's definitely done Yeah, but no I I'll tell you it hurt it really bummed me out cuz you like I'm buying I want you to have this I want you I want to do something. Yeah here it is And she's here sure she's going you're not doing this out of yes, of course I'm gonna get the glasses, but I'm doing this cuz I want you to get sure I get it Yeah, and you're getting a way better gift.

I just remembered, it's right, there's a spike coming Christine's way soon, I don't remember how I'm gonna lay it out yet. I haven't really discovered what it was, but she did a bunch of, we were walking around Costco, and there's a new PS5, there's a PS5 Slim now. Now that you lost weight? And yeah, now that I lost weight, I can get the PS5 Slim.

No, I was like- They're waiting for that. Oh, you know what would be nice? You know what would be nice? If I wanted to play on another TV in the house. Get it on another TV in the house. And I looked up, do they link? If you have the same account?

I think they do. They do link, so I was like, oh, it'd be cool to kind of play upstairs if I wanted to play instead of just downstairs all the time. That'd be kind of, and I mentioned it a few times at Costco and Christine was like, I thought the whole thing was just going to play it downstairs. I thought it was just like a, it was a shooting down of it versus when she's like, I think we need, I think we might need new knives. I always go, and again, this is wrong. Kim Congdon called it good last night on Legion of we might need new knives. I always go, and again, this is wrong, Kim

Congdon called it good last night on Legion of Skanks, new money. I didn't have money until my mid 40s at all. So it is that where when she goes, we need knives, she gets upset because I come back and I go, for $5,000, it's the knife set of all knife sets and a guy comes every week to sharpen them for you, stuff that I mean she's and she's like what what she's like we don't cook it. I go I know but one day we're gonna And don't you want to have 12 of the most fucking amazing knives ever don't you want to cut through a tuna can and a boot? And then tomato Dawn has been talking about cut co knives for five or six years We've seen them now no no this year. This year at the San Janeiro's feast,

they had the cutco guy. She went up, she goes, I don't know. I went up behind her back. I go, give me the set. And I paid for them. I go, they're coming tomorrow. Fuck off. Bobby.

Just get them. Was it just because you wanted a set of forks? Bobby, we got a cutco guy. You have a cutco guy? I have a cutco guy. Who's made us beautiful knives. Yeah, he made me one. He made me one.

It's Justin, right? His name's Justin's Justin right named Justin. He's the best Yeah, he comes to the gang fest every year awesome. He's amazing. I went out to him I go dude. What's the set like I want to get the motherfucker, but I want you to get the commission for you Know I mean like he's like buddy. I got you this set. It's every listen a Couple grand for sure which is ridiculous. Yeah, but uh, but he was good, but he goes Adam But I'm also throwing in the blah and then this and then this whole package and the grill stuff and Christine just goes I she says it's a it's a knife block. It's this big

We'll say right maybe a foot and a half or something to have it all that it's amazing. Yeah, she goes Well, I don't like it's gonna take take up too much counter space. The whole kitchen is counter space. We bought the house because of the counter space. Why would you put stuff on every inch of the counter so it's cluttered like quarters? Let me tell you something. First of all, Kukko knives are the best ever. I'll never know. Because now this poor guy, this poor guy who put the whole package together for me and

said we're going to do this. I was so embarrassed that Christine cut me off at the knees on it that I just didn't even reach out to him until I wasn't doing it. I just moved on in life and I was like, hey buddy, I'll be getting to you with my credit card information momentarily. Never talked to him ever again. God.

Yeah, he wants to get, I go, Jay. That's the jam right there, buddy. I'm like, we don't. That's not too big. It's ridiculous. By the way, I think it's a bigger one I mean, I think it was bigger keep going down. There's more there we go now I mean Jay there is two of you in a house

I think it was that guy. We don't even have that with that double the shut the fuck up Can I say something though? You know We have a table. Can I say something though? 1034 hunch, come on. You don't know how many, you're going to start having dinners. You're going to start having more than two people over. You're gonna have 10 people over night.

You're gonna have a big dinner. And if you have all the steak knives for steaks, and everybody, it's kind of nice. When Dawn wanted, she's like, all's we have, we need three knives. I go, we're getting six steak knives. Because we might have people over and I want to have the same if you get it yes I'm having people hey we need a reason to use these we get a reasonable knife block with six knives we don't spend five grand on knives

nobody's gonna use I mean Jacob just had the guy made us this beautiful knife that we have a knife we don't ask for much. Yeah I'm like since 2011 I've had video games in my house It's so nice to have them in the basement and like not around me, you know, it's fun I thought you guys would maybe cool out a little moving to a house and having more room I can't create a whole new set of problems. I can't I can't I know you're single So it didn't just strike you Christine said that was just fucking crazy. I got I got it I got it Yeah, that hurt him My eyes are tearing

That was crazy He's taking a lap he can't believe He got to stop walking away from things. First of all, Jake getting mad at me because I'm in the room and now I'm tanking the game. You smell fantastic. You tanking for high traffic? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get high traffic.

I can't... What the fuck was that? Wasn't that crazy? She said, oh my god. She says, uh, she goes, I had all these years of having video games in the living room. It was nice just to now have them like out of my face and downstairs.

Yeah, which is you. While she's upstairs watching the other giant TV that I bought, ooh, this bitch. You're folding laundry watching the Kardashians. He's like a dog in the basement on his dumb video games. Yeah, but you wanna be down there. I'd rather be in the basement than have to like have a dog in the basement on his dumb video games. Yeah, but you want to be down there I don't I'd rather be in the basement. I'm very happy on that video games in the basement very happy down there We have wants another toy because he doesn't really want anything

Hey, you're gonna hit her. Oh, we're gonna have to do something. I'm gonna have to walk out again You might walk out and he's right. I gotta stop walking off And Andy's right, I gotta stop walking off a podcast. You got a Steam Deck you don't use, eh? You know what I just realized, Jay? We got you the Nintendo one, you don't use it. Jay, you can whip your glasses off, and then you've got a whole new set of moves now. Andy, real quick, just to let you know, I walked out just so I could walk by the chocolate and get a piece of chocolate. That was most of the motivation.

Drive-by chocolate store-bought? That's what it was. That was a smart move. He is calculating. God, that was creamy. I talked about maybe getting the video games, having some video games outside. Yes. I know, but it's met with,

well, it's just like that, you don't even know the words, it's the face. I'm gonna tell you this. It's the face that starts. And you're like, good God. She had the face, looked at me and smiled. Okay, let me tell you something. I missed out on a home in the town we live in

that was two and a half acres of land it had room for a big built-in pool It was way bigger than house cheaper than the house that I got right and I did and I that face and those things Why we hang why here's what I learned being married for 17 years You make the fucking decision just do it.. Because they're saying things just to say things. Yeah, I thought it was actually going to come a little bit later. But the thing is, Christine has taken to the suburbs in this house so much.

She really, beyond expectation, has fallen in love with the house, the area, and just being out there and that yard and everything we have. And then in the ultimate long game I will take that from her in one fell swoop one day without her knowing can I say can I get a little glasses push back right now what Christine doesn't understand is what you guys understand by Christine is she's um she's what people call an idiot and

She will live in this ignorant bliss Guys texting online I won't text you that anymore. And I will back off of that too if that's bothering you. It's okay. I think that was rude. But right next to rude was hilarious. I know. That's the problem. I have to respect the new classy Jay when he says things. It has a little more, I don't know, meaning.

Also, I think anything entertainment should be set up by the man. That's just men should be in charge of entertainment. Strong choice. So then can't you fucking PS5? You can have back splashes and all the shit Jacob likes. And I'll be like, we don't need it. Yeah, but what is it? Can I ask you a question?

Of course we don't need it. Seriously, why if he says, as Jay, who's works, and you know how hard he works. He goes, I was thinking of getting a PSP, which is 500 bucks It's fuck not even a thinny. I bet it's not a thinny. Okay, so I'm just gonna get it Who cares? It's not like he's like hey, I'm gonna go buy a $50,000 fucking chain to wear that you know, whatever he I'm just gonna get a thing for downstairs So I can play down here or up there or if I'm whatever

So just say okay do whatever you want why do you get to add the little do whatever you want all the time because you I mean he's not he's not fucking other people yes he is I take it back I was if we if we conferred if we conferred before this about this topic I would have I'm talking about my relationship. If we conferred before this about this topic, I would have said don't. No, let's not. She said yes he is. I'm sending them some pretty upsetting messages.

Okay, well listen. So PS5 in the living room, space wise the knives, all that, but I do try because Jay doesn't want a lot, I try to be supportive of things that he wants to buy. And when he was upset about his jeans, he's like, I didn't know these jeans were $200. I was like, you've never been able to shop at the mall before, like treat yourself, like get the nice jeans. Treat yourself.

That's kind of hurtful. That plays out for her. You've never been to shop at regular people's stores. You've never been able to buy off the rack before. That's true. You got to shop in that octagon-shaped store on a route next to the mall. No.

This story doesn't start with a description of your weight or height. No, you don't understand what's happening. You don't understand what's happening. I've never been at 36. Christine. Christine is a shopaholic. So in the regards of that, like if I go to a mall and leave with hundreds

of dollars of jeans, that makes her, that opens the door. That's the thing. That's what Dawn was calling out. That's what she's doing. But here's the thing. I don't mind. I'll play the game. I'll dance the dance. That's part of the dance is you go, you got to dance the dance, but you don't go fucking piece of shit. You don't go, I'm doing it because I want you to buy this because I want to get something for myself. You dance the dance. You go you got a dance to this, but you don't go fucking piece of shit You don't go I'm doing it because I want you to buy this because I want to get something for myself You dance the dance you go. I'm saying you deserve this you should have this and then when you go What do you think of these sunglasses? You're expecting to go? It's like we talk about wrong vacation You live once yes fucking go get it get it don't even think twice about it get it They look great on you do it buddy

Do you know good they looked and for that reason Christine will be homeless at some point, but not yet Just when she feels her safest Look at these how good those look Look damn. They do look good. They fucking look good style. Look at those She said those little big those are not a little bit. She's fighting She said they're a little big. Those are not a little big. She's fighting for her life over there. Yeah, look at those. Those are not a little big.

You're fucking nuts. No, there's a cool plan, too. Look at those. Those look fucking bad. I put those on. I put those on and I went, I fucking love these. You gotta send her the picture to put out. Can you send me the link?

I don't have anybody who could hold me back from buying these. You gotta send her the picture. Oh, please don't buy them. That would be hilarious. Here's the thing. Oh, isn't it great when an unattached guy just gets the thing you want? How about this, Bobby?

Here's what we're going to do. You've got Father's Day coming up. Maybe you go, hey, Dawn, you know, back in the room, I really love these kind of glasses. And I wanted to buy you guys some nice things. But Father's Day's around the corner. Yeah, I agree. But here's what I'm going to. I'm gonna do what we do

I'm gonna fucking knock at them, and I'm gonna sprinkle on father's day. I know like I thought they might have been the glasses It's just a card And you made a meatloaf that I do love I do love me meatloaf well There's no reason you shouldn't be able to have both um I'm gonna, if she doesn't get me these fucking, and I told her, I said this on. Maybe that's what she's doing. I said this, I go, hey, they're in a ruba. I said, hey, I go, this Father's Day,

I don't want any of this fucking nothing bullshit. I want something tangible. I want gifts. Yeah. No, Bobby, here's the ultimate thing. Don't overplay that. Just let them know, it's like, what you should not do is say you want gifts. You just go. Here's the ultimate thing. Don't overplay that just let him know It's like what you should not do is say you want gifts. You just go it's like no You I buy the gifts. I'm the guy you're the kid and the mom and my wife

You don't have to worry about gifts, but you got to be willing to even if it's a gift You really like you don't over sell appreciation on a gift from a chick Yeah, because they're only able to do this for you because of the money that you're making. So you have to be willing to look at a nice present and almost say with your eyes, I sorta paid for this. But I do, this is nice, thank you. Thank you, but like this is, at the end of the day,

if you ever hit a wall because of this crazy purchase, I'm gonna have to bail you out of that. Now, I do have a, I had a backup plan because Anthony Aiden, my glasses guy, he did come in with a new pair of glasses that are coming in. Anthony Aiden, I know that name. Anthony Aiden.

Well. Oh, Christostephanos glasses guy. I'm sorry, go ahead. I'm sorry. Is there, oh, I can use this. Piece of shit. It's my glasses guy. That's not what I heard on Joe Rogan. He stole my glasses guy. And well, on Joe Rogan, I can use this. Piece of shit. It's my glasses guy. That's not what I heard on Joe Rogan.

He stole my glasses guy. On Joe Rogan, I heard him say that it was his guy. So I listen, listen, I'm in the Rogan's fear. And he stole fucking. You got a nice guy? He's got a glasses guy. Let's stop the split. I got the glasses guy.

Andy is my guy. Everybody calm down. I think you're allowed to use them too. Fuck off. He's got a pair of Jacques-Marie's. He called me. He was like, hey, these came in, you want. So I'm going down to get those.

So on the side, I'm gonna go just get these. I'm getting them, and I'm not gonna tell her. I'm just buying them. Yeah, but that's an internal win that doesn't really, doesn't hit with the thunder you're looking for in these situations, you know what I mean? What do you suggest? Sophisticated Jay? I these situations, you know what I mean? What do you suggest? Sophisticated Jay?

I would say, you know what? What you do is you buy those and then you really rub it in with the thing of like, you know what, I'm actually glad I didn't get the Gucci's because these were way more expensive and I would have felt bad getting both of them. That's a good one. Yeah, that's not bad. Because these cost a lot more.

That's a good one, yeah. Or how about this? Cutting. I get both. I like that. And I say go fuck yourself. Yeah, and you go, yeah. Or how about this? Cutting. I get both. I like that. And I say, go fuck yourself. Yeah, and you go, it's like, you know what?

I was gonna buy just the one pair, and then I thought to myself, you're not my fucking mother. And then go to the bank and get one of those wads of 10 grand with the sticker around it, you know the wrap, and slap it in her face. And she won't mouth off again, I bet. I'll get two of those wads and go, here, go get tits.

Christine just told me she's done with me. That joke came out real. That came too mean, right? I liked it. Christine just told me that she doesn't want me to play video games in my own living room. Buddy, that's crazy. That was crazy.

And you should have one outside. You should have one upstairs and downstairs. How successful you are right now, Jay, You should have one outside, you should have one upstairs and downstairs. How successful you are right now, Jay, you should have your thing is gaming and documentaries and YouTube and stuff like that, watching stuff. Tummy time and video games. That's what you like to do, TV and that. You should have a Sony or whatever you want, maybe both gaming systems on every fucking

TV in the house Inside and out That's crazy, that's a lot that's overkill. That's it. That's a region. Yeah, I wouldn't be I am big on wire. She's using that against you felt like grasping at straws. She's using your wire management No, I'm I have terrible wire management. So we've we've acknowledged before we were on the show I am big on wire management, but the situations I'm talking about are not that it was just Why do we need? To video games in the living room. I know you meant you're not sitting there all the time

No, no, how far is the living room from the basement one floor? Yeah now I'm starting to lean the other way Can I say something though? It's the function of the the house. It's it's far away like That's over here. This goes down here and then way over there. You're you it's absolutely overkill if it makes sense Yeah, but I might want to just lay on Yeah couch upstairs is a different kind of couch. There's got a different thing. I might wanna wait. I mean, what do you work for? Just get it. Hey, you're not buying cocaine and hunkers and fucking fancy cars.

Not in this town. I'll tell you this. Uh, Christine said the words right there. Just get it. Just get it. I won't. No, I won't. I will never own a second Sony PlayStation 5.

When this one goes, when this one goes when this one mine breaks I'll have an inconvenient day Because I'm gonna have to wait till the next day probably time wise To get myself another ps5 and then figure out how to get everything loaded onto it and all that shit that I don't understand So that'll be the day and then I'll go fuck man At least if I had the one upstairs upstairs I could have just went to that but Bella give it to you that way you can't destroy it. I know If don't gets me these glasses, I'll take them will you oh, yeah I would take them to and then break them in the face

Yeah, and be like I don't wear fakes and when she goes are not fake and you go then you should have shut your mouth in a rubik's Dude is this how fun it is doing Dante show Yeah, because they dumb and her brain ain't developed She doesn't understand why video games can be in two rooms Was it hoes up bitches down what the fuck these call a bitch? I'll get caveman bone earrings do we all need fucking I want a god damn door knocker I want a cock like him like Dante. Yeah, do you know his cock? He's got a big one

It seems impossible that he doesn't what exactly I'm asking currently His body shape would tell me that maybe it doesn't like dangle off the butt. I'm not saying there's not a lot of cock There's a lot of meat. There's a lot a lot of cup, but I don't know what his body type is Dante He's very like around not he's got a piece. I mean he mails scripts So I'm sure he's got a hog on him. But sometimes you lose, sometimes you don't. Ron Jeremy, fat as he got, always kept about a good showing 10 inches at his worst.

Did you guys know Ron Jeremy was in Ghostbusters? What? The original? He's in, yeah, the original. What? I saw it on Instagram yesterday. He's like, he's an extra. Is he? Yeah, there's like one clip where they're in New York City

and it's just Ron Jeremy Jeremy like they're all looking up Really on the top of the one building that's a fun fact lately young Ron Jeremy. That's great He goes I guess gozers up there Now you remember Teen Wolf the guy in the bleachers at the end did he really take Is that real an urban legend? I don't know when I see it when I see the thing they show I'm always like What's? I think it's just blurry. I think it's just blurry bullshit

What a great fucking soundtrack I thought he took his it looks like he took his dick out The f-word was in Teen Wolf and Bobby's not allowed to say it ain't that crazy There's another one. We don't even play by Teen Wolf rules here. What about Teen Wolf 2? Teen Wolf TOO? Yeah, yeah Jason Bateman and also I just watched the other day Wow, there is montage a montage send me an angel by real life. Yeah, dude. Send me an angel. Two is wild

Well, there was a bunch of good ones like that like three men and a baby. There was the ghost in the background What? Yeah, you never heard that one. No, what is that one? There's a ghost of a dead kid in the background of three men and a little three men and a baby but it then it was like it was turned out it was a Cardboard cutout of Ted dance. What about the person who hung themselves? Yeah in the Wizard of Oz. Yep I made you you see that I said person I forgot little yeah, please be accurate. Yeah, did those? Oh, that's a mythical creature. They don't die. You can see something I've watched that a bunch of times you see something climb up and then it swings back and forth

It right there in the background. Yeah, watch you'll see it. That's right there. It's right there. It's in the back swinging It's right in the middle Right. Yeah, there it is right there The queue not play that's not it. You're freaking me out. That's this. That's the thing in the middle of right yeah there it is right there. Can you not play that's not it. You can me out. That's the that's the thing in the back. You'll see something. This is less.

This is even less classy than when Logan Paul found a person hanging in the suicide far as at least he wasn't singing and dancing with lion. I guess that is it. That is it. That's it for sure. That's 100 percent it because you see it's swinging. That's supposed to be a person. I've never seen something like that. His name was Squeaks Mitchell. Yeah.

Or at least Squeaks. It looks like a regular person. His parents named him Squeaks. They knew he was gonna be a midget. You ever stay in that hotel in Culver City where all the midgets stayed? No. The Culver Hotel.

The Culver City Hotel. In Culver City, where MGM, now Sony. Yeah. There's a hotel over there that you can stay. It's a boutique hotel now, but that's where all the midgets stayed Yeah, and they were just fucking animals Fucking they're getting drunk. So while they could stay there's a movie about it. You put him in dog crates

There's a movie that these midgets were just fucking losing their minds Billy Barty, yeah, I stayed there. Yeah, I got put up there. I used to stay there when I thought you were a Hollywood midget No, I stayed there to stay at that. I like boutique hotels Oh you walked in you were like, I think they made a mistake dude Because a lot of people say that but welcome There used to be a town in Jersey midgetville. That was like a real thing. Look it up Bobby was like is this elevator five foot ten? All right Yeah, that's the hotel right there.

Had a big time, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Let's see, it talks of course about Munchkin staying during the filming of The Wizard of Oz. Oh, it was during the filming. Yeah, that's when they put all the. Of Wizard of Oz and they were all going nuts. Yeah, they put all the midgets in this hotel

and they just ripped the hotel apart. They were so fucking rowdy and fucked up. Oh, I did hear about this. Well, their little teeth are good for ripping seams on like couches and shit. They're just pulling wallpaper off the hallway. They can really chew on a poultry. Like an untrained dog.

Yeah, remember when the Gremlins took over the movie theater? That's where it looks like a lot. There's a movie about these little people fucking losing their mind. Really? Yeah, I forget what the name of it is. They made a movie about it. Oh, I bet they had a hilarious little time.

Was it starring Bridgette the Midget? No. My favorite porn star? Remember Bridgette the Midget? Fucked a 14 inch dick black guy? No. How is that possible? You think, right?

It's impossible. You said that like it was common knowledge. I thought everyone knew that Bridge the midget didn't have a wide catalog and everyone knew her she was the one that would go on talk shows Look up midgetville, New Jersey. I swear. It's a real thing. Wouldn't that hit her intestines and her liver and shit Oh fuck we have to take a break. No, Lou. Yeah, we have to take a break. We have to remember midgetville, New Jersey I don't got we gotta take a fucking break is uh we got how many ads Lou Zero I assume we're fired. What's happening?

We haven't had an ad in weeks Jim's not here. Did he get fired too? No, he's still here We're just fired from can we make up an ad so it looks good Hey, that's misleading punch up dot live. Hey everybody Hey! That's misleading. PunchUpDot Live. Hey everybody. True classic t-shirts. True classic and game day testosterone.

You care of Robert Kelly Industries. Andy Fiore is gonna be out with Tom Poppa this summer with dates coming up in New Hampshire, West Hampton, Ocean City, West Virginia, and more. For tickets and all tour dates, visit andyfiore.com. Doesn't Tom Poppa make the best bread? You'd think he would have given it to his little pal Andy. Never had it once.

Jay had it, didn't like it. Jay's gonna be this weekend at Governor's in Levittown, New York, Friday and Saturday, then San Diego. Charlotte Tacoma for tickets and all the tour dates. BigJayComedy.com and go to his YouTube page and watch his specials. And he has a punchup.live Slash big J comedy Bobby Kelly's gonna be the dojo in comedy this the dojo of comedy this weekend Mars plains New Jersey Friday and Saturday on Friday one should know one show Friday one show Saturday

Whoo, I had to push the second show cuz of dawn. I had a home. So that's nice though. That's nice I got I'm one Friday to Saturday this weekend was still not too bad Portland Maine after that Rochester on deck for tickets and all tour dates visit punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly We'll be right back. We're hanging in with Andy Fiore. It's Mercface bonfire